youreyesaremyfavoritecolor - Tumblr blog

[youreyesaremyfavoritecolor]

i will envy the earth that marries your body

the sun is on my face, the back of my knees cold with sweat. music plays in the background, a familiar song played time and time before. a fly lands on my knee, walks around a little and flies off when i move my hand. i stare at the stained wood above me, watch pieces of it chip away with every second. i look at the sky through the gaps of wood, see the piercing blue glare back at me. sitting there lost in thought, wondering how long it would take for the ground to consume me if i lay down right now. i imagine the bugs and plants dancing over my skin, accepting me as theirs. it gets too hot to the point my bangs are sticking to my face, i go inside and make the bugs wait another day.

[youreyesaremyfavoritecolor]

hockey poems? off season is getting to me

he's injured again, and i can't help but think of you. the way you collapsed on the ice, the way i watched the man i looked up to end his career before it even started. every time i get a headache i think of you, of what you could've been. i hope he can heal the way you couldn't.

[youreyesaremyfavoritecolor]

in case his 'friends' are reading this: why the fuck didn't you help him?

it's weird, not being able to take more than one pill without wondering if i'm taking to much. it's weird that i go to sleep with an arm under my head incase i throw up. it's weird i hate to lean my head back for more than a second. it's weird i can't celebrate mother's day or my mom's birthday without thinking of you. it's weird how the only thing i have left of you is a cross, tags, and a flag. you should be here and you aren't. that's weird

[youreyesaremyfavoritecolor]

am i sin?

i look at a girl in the hallway, a little too long to be considered "normal". she's so pretty i can't take my eyes off her, i could see the love in which God's hands sculpted her face. i see a couple holding hands and wonder if that will be me, i ignore the fact i'm imagining a girl's hand in mine. if what i am is such a sin in God's eyes, then why would he make my love so pure?

[youreyesaremyfavoritecolor]

to love is to consume

i feel a hand in my mouth, it's fingers pressing against my lower jaw. pulling and pulling until you can hear the bones snapping. it's such an intimate yet horrifying feeling. how loved i feel to be so easily destroyed at your hands.

[youreyesaremyfavoritecolor]

i'm literally just a girl

i love being a teenage girl. i love being able to cut my bangs because i want more face framing pieces, listening to fiona apple and analyzing every lyric. i love smelling like honey, sleeping with my blinds open, and thrifting. i love reading and writing dumb things. i love crying at movies even though they're comedies. i love wearing tank tops and drawing random things. i love just being.

[youreyesaremyfavoritecolor]

i. see. you. i.c.u.

i see you in everything. your smile in strangers, your voice in your brother, your smell in the smokers on the street, the folded flag on the wall. i see you in the sound of trumpets and gunshots. i see you in sunsets and football games. i see you

[youreyesaremyfavoritecolor]

your life didn't stop without me

i'm no longer the one you see everyday, we're no longer attached by the hip. i'm not the one you tell everything to first, not the one you ask for help when parting your hair, or picking an outfit. i'm not the person you feel like your going through withdrawal when we're not together. i'm no longer your person, but you'll always be mine

[youreyesaremyfavoritecolor]

sometimes you got to love life

the windows are down, the wind in my eyes. i can see the fields rolling behind me. smell the grass and gasoline. the sky is clear. it’s a good day.

[youreyesaremyfavoritecolor]

average teenage girl experience

i can feel the cold of the tiles seeping into my bones, my face is wet but i’m not sure if it’s my tears or the shower. my hands and breath are shaky. i don’t know what to do.

[youreyesaremyfavoritecolor]

your birthday was eight days ago.

i put a shirt on today, the same one i was wearing when you died. it was weird, when i put it on i could feel the cold of the car's seats, the calloused hand of my father holding mine while i fought back tears. i changed. maybe one day i'll be able to wear it again but today is not that day.

[youreyesaremyfavoritecolor]

you've got addictions too, it's true

sometimes i doubt that were related, we don't have the same smile, or the same last name. the only proof i have is your blood that courses through my veins when i see a bottle, hear the rattle of pills, or the sweet smell of smoke. i could never not be confused as your kin.

[youreyesaremyfavoritecolor]

a kiss with a fist is better than none

i want to feel your hands as they crush my bones, as they tear into my flesh. i want to feel your hands cradle my face softly, feel your hands as they brush over my skin like flower petals falling. i want to feel you.

[youreyesaremyfavoritecolor]

idk man i was just laying in the grass and was like, "damn, i should write about this"

i want to lay in the grass and feel my skin melt into the dirt. i want to feel the sun against my bones, the bugs burrowing into what's left. i want to feed the worms and plants.

[youreyesaremyfavoritecolor]

memory is such a strange thing, isn't it?

i fear the day i will be mourning a stranger. i try to picture your laugh, your smile, your voice. anything. there's a feeling that runs through me when i smell cigarettes, grass on a fall morning, or the old leather of a truck, that reminds me of you. but it's all substantial. i don't know you anymore, maybe i never did. i hope you can forgive me for not remembering you.

[youreyesaremyfavoritecolor]

follower of God

i will love you like a follower of God. i will worship you and everything you do, i will expect nothing in return. the idea of you listening is enough.

[youreyesaremyfavoritecolor]

puppy love

i am not a hopeless romantic, i am a pathetic romantic. i love like a dog, you could hit, yell, and ignore me but with one call of my name i will come running back.