Last Seen Blogs
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Stancest Brainrot
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And then suddenly, I realized:
You saw all of me,
And I only saw one tiny part of you.
That was our problem.
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“Let me know if you need me to come over”
No. The last thing I need is for you to come over.
If you come over then I’ll be back at square one and god help me if I start crying. No.
Just stop.
Please.
Please.. stop.
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I had convinced myself I was mad at you so well.
You came to the door and I was still convinced.
And then you hugged me and my heart started beating so, so fast.
“Damn.” I thought.
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I think what’s wrong is that I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m getting this feeling that I should make a decision between waiting for you or giving up but both seem awful. I don’t want to wait anymore. It’s not that I’m impatient, it’s just that I’m tired of feeling like I’m at your beck and call. But if I give up, I’m afraid.. I’m afraid I’ll lose you in one way or another, which I guess I will. In my imagination, it seems so simple. I love you and you love me; we can love each other and never have to worry about anyone else. But ironically I feel like you’re the one complicating it. Or maybe I’m just saying that to make myself feel better.
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I just want to stop being addicted to you. It’s time I stop hiding bottles and sipping from vanilla extracts. I can’t keep pawning off parts of myself just so I can fit into your life. And I don’t want this to sound like I’m blaming you, because I’m not. Really, this isn’t your fault. But… something has to change. I won’t keep doing this. I can’t.
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I’ve ignored you for just one day and I’m exhausted.
How did it get this bad?
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What do I do if I want to keep seeing you but I no longer want to revolve around you?
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When you deliberately enjoy something, it gets sweeter
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It really hit me when we were sitting on the couch and you accidentally spat on me and the only thing I thought was that I wish you’d do it again. It felt like being blessed by holy water.
#that was when I realized I wasn’t near being over you#god#I know it was me but thinking back it doesn’t feel like me#if I’m not careful I might just start worshipping you
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I really do wish this wasn’t happening.
I wish I just liked you as a friend.
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For a while, I used to daydream about society crumbling and living out on a farm with other strangers and building a tight-knit community from scratch. They were wonderful daydreams, but a part of me always wondered what I would end up doing in times of boredom. So many of my past times and hobbies involve the internet. But then the thought just occurred to me, what if you were there too? If you were there with me, I would never be bored. I would never be lonely either. I would want for nothing. What a lovely thought. To be completely fulfilled by another person’s presence.
Part of me wishes we could go to that reality right now. We could spend hours doing nothing but being completely content.
#ps. I’ve never met someone that I’ve never gotten tired of before#you’re the first#I just want you to know that#I never get tired of you#never
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I’m feeling a bit tired today.
It feels like I need to let go somehow
It feels like I need to let go so I can naturally float to wherever I’m supposed to be
The idea is scary though.
What will I be without this false sense of control?
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I just want to feel your skin on my skin
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