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me everytime I open a family-sized lays bag at 3 am.

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This would be amazing

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These darn video games!

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Niggas scared to eat pussy like it bite backs or somethin..

             -Over My Friends House-

Friend: Yo bro whats with these girls making these weird ultimatums 

Me: weird ultimatums such as?

Friend: Like these chicks want you to eat their pussy in order for them to suck dick. like fuck out of here with that weird shit.

Me: i think that sounds like a pretty reasonable agreement..

Friend: Ew bro you would actually put your mouth on that??

Me: i feel like if your willing to french kiss a girl, then eating pussy isn’t that much worse

Friend: yea but the pussy is where girls piss and bleed

Me: you piss out your dick and you want girls to suck that?

Me:  Plus i feel like a mouth has a chance of having more if not the same amount of germs that a vagina can have

Friend: Yea but a vagina has alot more going on with it.. like have you ever just really looked at one

Me: yes plenty of times. some just look like peaches in my opinion

Friend: Yea but i can’t get pass the idea off lips and taste..

Me: i have seen you destroy containers of barely cooked oysters and you’re gonna sit here and complain to me about what you won’t put in your mouth 

Friend: Bro those are two different things

Me: You’re right, one can actually be clean and taste good depending on the hygiene, while the other is just gunk sliding down your throat.

Friend: My point is that it’s normal for a girl to suck dick. That’s how it goes

Me:

Me: Like the more you talk, the more i realize why you’re single

Me: Just because getting your dick sucked is normal to you, doesn’t mean eating pussy isn’t 

Me: And the fact that you think that a girl wanting you todo the same thing that she’s willing todo to you is a ultimatum, really shows how shallow you are 

Friend: Listen i tried to eat it before but i just couldn’t get myself to do it

Me Imagining Him Trying:

Friend: Like the most i can do is finger a girl and like lick my fingers off

Me:

Friend: the most i can do… is lick my fingers off…

Me:

Friend: like its really not, there’s all this extra stuff you gotta do like-

Friend imitates what he thinks eating pussy looks like:

Me:

Weirdo Still Imitating:

Me: Don’t you ever, eeevvveerr assault any girls vagina like that

Weirdo: What!?

Me: Ima just go home now, i have no energy left after this….

If you think that eating pussy is weird or gross then fine. That’s your choice and decision. No one hates you. But don’t expect any girl to just suck your dick in return because “it’s normal for a girl to suck dick”

That is not a standard that must apply to all women. if she wants to then cool, i know i love to get it. But im not going to force or assume that its something that she must do in order to please me. Just like some people don’t like eating pussy, some girls don’t like sucking dick nor are either required to.

grow up  😤

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SLPT: just moan louder each time the cashier scans an item

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Roger roger

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Meirl

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I swear to God if I hear this song one more time I’m going to shoot someone

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dont apologize for speaking or taking up space. dont apologize for disagreeing with someone. dont apologize for having a question or needing help. dont apologize for making it known that you exist.

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http://iglovequotes.net/

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Bears playing with a balloon.