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broski i whispered something to him in tagalog and then he whispered back in spanish, i want to kiss him 8 million times
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it’s over. my story ended w db it’s fine but it hurt
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there’s not a lot of things that i regret in my life but am i regretting my connection w him? i did love him at one point and idk i feel like my connection w him messes up a lot of my other connections. i did learn a lot about myself w him but will it hurt my future relationships? v confusing
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so i’m trying so hard to not let simp me come back but she’s peaking her head through my life rn. Why? Well because of a man, ez. So we were talking about our favorite songs from Drake and on his bday a couple of days later he put my favorite song on his bday post. Like are you kidding me. He then said that i was his inspiration. are you joking? Then i saw him today and he was like you were the first person to say happy birthday to me. bruv i greeted him at 12:30 im not saying that that is late or early but i would’ve assumed some people would’ve said happy birthday. anyways, i was on my break and he got off. he usually just talks to me when he’s off and im on my break but he squatted down when he was talking to me and i was in love. it’s the simpliest things that get me. Im disgusted
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God, please keep him out of my life if he isn’t the one for me. I think my lesson is learned from him already. I don’t think that i can do this
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i went to go see db and things went south guys, i folded… i have no one to tell about this. anyways but then i found out the ez doesn’t like me so i’m truly going through it. i wanna act up and act irrational now so let’s not w this fellas im going back to hermit mood but i might mess around db a little bit since it’s convenient so i have self respect but i don’t alright
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03212022
what i've learned so far in the year is, as much as care about someone, it won't change on how they care for you. i've already seen so love ones go through many heartbreaks whether if it were lovers, friends, or family in a span of 3 months of the year. it's hard to find someone who will care as much as you will. I think i'm going to learn/train myself to not care too deeply for people. I think that many people take advantage of me because I care too much. It makes me upset to know that my caring for people will hurt me eventually. i think i'm tired of being hurt. I think that my feelings are too fragile, to begin with and I always think that they aren't but they are. At this point, my feelings aren't even my priority to me sometimes because I allow my feelings to be hurt to a point. Now, I ask myself when will I stop allowing my feelings to get hurt. There are many possible answers to this question, but I will ultimately always come to the conclusion that I will lose myself. I like to think of myself as a person who loves and cares deeply, despite the trials and pain that I go through. It does get tiring though, but i really am not me without love. I'm consumed with the idea of spreading love and romanticizing the idea of it. When I think of the type of love that I want my heart gets lighter. I want a love that has no end, that starts my day off with a good morning and ends with a good night, my love. A love that is patient when I take two hours to decide what I want to do. A love that is kind enough that it'll open all my doors. A love that is sweet that remembers my coffee order. something whole some is what I crave and I wont settle for less.
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im tired of ppl just looking at me as a fun girl, i want ppl to see me as someone they can settle w and grow w
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i love you with every breath i take, every thought that races my mind, every second every day
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honestly, i have mad love for you and at one point i think i was in love with you. my only hope and goal was to make you happy but i didn’t realize it was making me lose myself. i don’t think it’s best for us to see each other like that because not only am i not respecting myself, im being selfish. i think i held on to this delusion that you actually had feelings for me but if you did, you wouldn’t be using me like this. we both know that what’s between us only benefited you at the end of the day. i think i need to let go of what was and make room for things that is right for me. we also both know we were never friends because it was always something more than that and i do believe that i found a way to be friends w you, it’s just not the kind of friendship that you want. im not saying that we can’t be friends, all i’m saying is that i can’t be here for you like that anymore and that i will be here the same way that you have been there for me. no one deserves the pain that we are causing. i’ll always have love for you, i hope you know that.
last message to dlb
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let’s all be serious, i know it’s not going to workout w anybody rn. as much as i want it too, it’s just not possible. it’s not going to workout with anyone rn but it will eventually. patience is the biggest thing and i have to accept the fact that it’s over before it starts.
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my heart was yours for a year but it felt like eternity. i thought it was going to be yours for that long too.
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for some reason at this point in my life, im ready to settle. im very young but i feel like it’s time for me. I know im not ready financially but i’m ready for everything else. all i want is a family and a few dogs.
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my heart omg i used to tell db sweet dreams when i was going to bed but ez used it tonight w the moon emoji aka my fave 🥺
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