yjw1a1

[yjw1a1]

BIRTHDAY SEX.ᐟ

pairingᝰ.ᐟ idol! park jongseong x 8th member! reader

warningsᝰ.ᐟ food play, virgin! reader, fingering, oral (f), unprotected sex, age gap (4-year age gap), praising, reader calls jay oppa, etc. (wc 6.762k)

natty's notesᝰ.ᐟ request, mdni, hate comments will be deleted.

the overwhelming warmth of love and appreciation from your fans had your heart swelling with joy. appearing on live to celebrate your birthday with them was something you always looked forward to—a moment of pure connection, an intimate exchange of gratitude between you and the people who had supported you through everything.

each of the boys had already given their gifts, some delivering heartfelt speeches about how much you had grown, yet promising to always treat you the same way they did when you first met—a mix of nostalgia and affection in their words. others had taken a more playful approach, teasing you relentlessly before giving in and admitting how proud they were of the person you had become.

you appreciated every single one of them, their gestures, their words, their presence. the warmth in your chest was undeniable. but despite the sea of gifts, the endless messages of love and gratitude, one thought refused to leave your mind—or rather, one person.

jay.

he hadn’t been around much today. and though you didn’t want to dwell on it, a small part of you had at least expected him to be by your side, like he always was. the two of you were practically inseparable, always drawn to each other without question. but today felt… different.

before you could think twice about it, you found yourself standing in front of his dorm room, hesitation creeping in as your fingers hovered over the door. you lifted your hand, delivering soft, hesitant knocks, your voice barely above a whisper as you called out—

"oppa… are you in here?"

for a moment, silence.

then—the soft rustling of movement from inside, the sound of rummaging, as if he had been caught off guard.

your brows furrowed slightly, your fingers still resting against the door as you strained your ears, trying to make out what was going on behind it.

"oppa…?"

you called again, this time softer, yet tinged with uncertainty, your heartbeat picking up ever so slightly as you waited for a response.

you didn’t have to wait long before the door creaked open, revealing jay standing there, his tall frame shadowed under the dim light of his dorm. his eyes flickered over you, dark and unreadable, though the way his lips tugged into a small smirk told you enough—he was expecting you. he didn’t say anything, simply nodding his head, silently telling you to come inside, and with a soft breath, you obeyed. stepping past him, the warmth of his room wrapped around you as you made your way toward his bed, perching yourself at the edge, hands delicately folding in your lap. there was something different in the air tonight, something thick, something you couldn’t quite name, but it made your stomach twist in ways unfamiliar to you.

"oppa, where were you?" your voice came out soft, filled with genuine curiosity, your head tilting slightly as you gazed up at him. your lips pressed together in a subtle pout, wide, innocent eyes searching his face for an answer. you didn’t want to seem demanding, but jay had been missing for most of the evening—on your birthday of all days—and though you wouldn’t ever admit it aloud, his absence had left a small, unspoken longing in your chest.

jay simply let out a small chuckle, his hands finding their way into his pockets as he turned away from you, heading toward his desk. "baby, i was getting your gift." his voice was smooth, calm, but there was something about it that made you shift slightly where you sat, fingers now nervously playing with the hem of your shirt.

you watched as he rummaged through one of his drawers before pulling out a small, velvety box, the deep color of it standing out against his pale fingers. your breath hitched slightly at the sight, heart fluttering in anticipation as he turned to face you, his expression unreadable. a soft smile played at his lips as he walked back over, closing the space between you two with slow, deliberate steps, his gaze never once leaving yours.

"look inside, baby."

your hands trembled slightly as he placed the box into your palms, his fingers brushing over yours in the process. his touch was warm, but there was a certain weight behind it, something that made your pulse stutter. hesitating for only a moment, you finally lifted the lid, eyes widening as the light caught the delicate diamond necklace nestled inside.

it was beautiful—breathtaking, even.

"oh my god, oppa... this is—" your voice faltered, unable to find the right words as you carefully lifted the piece of jewelry, the cool metal kissing your fingertips. the diamonds sparkled under the soft glow of his bedside lamp, but what truly caught your attention was the small, subtle engraving right beside the clasp.

a single letter.

"J."

your lips parted slightly in surprise, eyes flickering up to meet his, but the moment you locked gazes, your stomach twisted into something unfamiliar. jay wasn’t looking at the necklace—he was looking at you.

"look closer, baby," he murmured, his voice a low hum, almost teasing, almost as if he was waiting for something.

his fingers came up to brush along the pendant, trailing down until they barely ghosted over the skin of your collarbone, sending a quiet shiver through you. the necklace was subtle, its engraving hidden just enough to not raise questions, but to jay, it was a silent claim, an unspoken ownership that only you and he would know about.

"i love it, oppa," you whispered, voice barely above a breath as you turned your back toward him, exposing the nape of your neck as you held out the necklace. "put it on me?"

the bed dipped slightly as jay moved in closer, the warmth of his presence settling behind you, enveloping you. his hands reached forward, gathering your hair and sweeping it to one side, his fingers lingering a second too long against your skin. you felt the cold metal press against your neck as he clipped it into place, but before he pulled away, his touch didn’t leave.

his fingers stayed, tracing down the sensitive expanse of your skin, his touch featherlight yet burning, sending something foreign rippling through your stomach. you swallowed hard, lips parting slightly as your breath hitched, feeling his lips ghost just behind your ear.

"i have something else i want to do, princess," he murmured, his tone deeper, rougher, sending a small shudder down your spine.

his fingers trailed lower, dancing along the tops of your shoulders before slipping further, teasing over the delicate fabric of your blouse. the air around you shifted, something thick, something unspoken settling between you two.

"will you let me, baby?"

his words were soft, yet they felt dangerous, like honey laced with something sinful, something that made your heart pound against your ribs. you felt small under his touch, under the intensity of his gaze, but most of all, you felt claimed.

you turned your body slightly, facing him fully, your eyes searching his for an answer, though all he did was let his hands trail lower, the warmth of his fingertips ghosting over your collarbone. his touch was deliberate, slow—almost as if he were savoring every moment, memorizing the way your body reacted to him. one hand came up, fingers brushing softly against your cheek, his thumb stroking the delicate skin beneath your eye.

"i want to make up for what i did, baby," he murmured, his voice low, laced with something deeper, something that sent shivers down your spine. his eyes drank in your expression, dark and unwavering as they scanned over your face, taking in every twitch, every hesitant flicker of innocence that lingered in your gaze. "i wanna make my princess feel good after leaving her on her birthday."

his words wrapped around you, a soft heat blooming in your stomach, unfamiliar yet thrilling. he inched closer, closing the space between your bodies until you could feel the warmth radiating off of him, his presence so intoxicating that it left your breath catching in your throat. your lips parted slightly, the tip of your tongue darting out to wet them—a subconscious habit, yet one that didn’t go unnoticed.

jay’s gaze flickered downward, his eyes trained on the motion, the corner of his lips twitching up slightly in amusement.

"doing what, oppa?" your voice came out barely above a whisper, tinged with curiosity, though your body remained frozen beneath his touch.

his smirk widened at your question, his thumb tracing down the slope of your jaw before hooking beneath your chin, tilting your face up to meet his darkened stare. "don’t worry too much about how, baby… just tell me." his voice was smooth, like silk soaked in sin, each word dripping into your ears like warm honey.

his breath fanned over your face, and you swore the air around you had grown thicker, the space between you two electrified with something unspoken.

"you trust me, right, princess?"

your head nodded before you even processed the words, your body responding before your mind could catch up, completely entranced by the intensity of his gaze.

"then let oppa take care of you, hm?" he coaxed, his lips brushing so close to yours that you could almost taste him. "let me make this the best birthday you’ll ever have…"

before you could even form a response, his fingers curled under your jaw, guiding you closer, and then—his lips met yours.

the kiss was soft at first, hesitant, almost as if he were giving you the chance to pull away, to stop him before it could go further. but when you didn’t—when you sat there, completely still, completely entranced by the way his mouth moved against yours—he deepened it.

"just follow my lead, baby…" his words were whispered against your lips, breathy and warm before he captured your mouth once more.

his lips moved slowly, languidly, as if tasting you, savoring you, and though you had never done this before, never experienced anything like this, your body instinctively leaned into him, your fingers curling tightly into the fabric of his shirt.

he tilted his head slightly, deepening the kiss as his tongue flicked over your bottom lip, coaxing you to part for him.

"open for me, baby…"

his voice was low, commanding, yet so soft that it made your stomach twist. obediently, you parted your lips, allowing him to slip his tongue inside, the sensation so foreign, so overwhelming that a small whimper ignited from your throat.

jay groaned at the sound, the vibration of it sending a wave of heat through his body, his free hand trailing down the curve of your waist before tugging at the hem of your shirt.

his lips left yours for a brief moment, a thin string of saliva connecting the two of you, the air between you now thick with something heavy, something dangerously intoxicating.

his chest rose and fell with ragged breaths, lips red and swollen from kissing you with such intensity, his eyes clouded with pure desire as he scanned your flushed face.

"are you going to let me, baby?"

his voice was softer now, coaxing, almost hypnotic, as he leaned in once more, lips pressing the faintest of kisses against your cheek. his mouth trailed lower, leaving a path of warmth down to your jaw, before moving further—down to the delicate skin of your neck, where he lingered, pressing an open-mouthed kiss before sucking softly, his tongue teasing over the sensitive skin.

you sucked in a breath, your heart hammering wildly in your chest as his hands explored further, his lips leaving burning kisses along your throat, each one lingering longer than the last.

"let me make you feel good, princess…" he whispered against your skin, his hands now firmly gripping your waist, holding you in place as if you were something fragile—something precious.

his fingers toyed with the hem of your shirt, dragging it slowly up your torso, the fabric grazing your skin in a way that sent goosebumps trailing down your arms. his touch was deliberate, slow—as if savoring every moment, every inch of you that was being revealed to him. once your top was discarded onto the floor, his gaze fell on your chest, half-covered by the thin fabric of your bra. his eyes darkened, pupils blown wide as he drank in the sight of you, completely mesmerized.

"so beautiful, baby..." he murmured, his voice low and dripping with adoration. his hands moved with ease, fingers sliding under the straps of your bra, trailing them down your arms before unclasping it expertly. the moment the lace fell away, exposing your bare skin to him, a soft breath hitched in his throat, his hands immediately coming up to cup your breasts, palms warm and firm against your soft skin.

his thumbs brushed over your nipples, rolling them between his fingers, the sensation sending a sharp jolt of pleasure straight to your core. your back arched instinctively, a soft moan spilling from your lips as he kneaded them gently, alternating between soft squeezes and slow, deliberate rubs.

"oppa..." your voice was breathy, laced with something you had never quite felt before—a sensation so foreign yet so addicting. your hands gripped onto the sheets beneath you as you tried to ground yourself, the overwhelming warmth pooling in your stomach leaving you dizzy.

he smirked at your reaction, clearly enjoying the way you responded so easily to his touch. "feels good, baby?" he murmured, his dark eyes flickering up to meet yours, the way his hands continued their ministrations making you feel lightheaded with pleasure.

"yes, oppa..." your voice was barely above a whisper, your body fully surrendering to him, to his touch, to the way he knew exactly what to do to make you feel good.

"i have something even better..." he teased, his hands finally releasing your breasts, leaving your skin tingling from the absence of his touch. confusion flickered across your features as he suddenly shifted, gently scooting you further up the bed until your head lay against his pillow. he didn’t join you just yet—instead, he got up, stepping away for a brief moment, disappearing from your line of sight.

you blinked, confusion settling in as you pushed yourself up on your elbows slightly. "oppa?" you called out softly, only for him to return a moment later, his lips curled into a smirk as he held a bottle of whipped cream in his hand.

your brows furrowed in curiosity, your innocent gaze flickering between the bottle and his face, trying to make sense of what he was planning. "what is that for, oppa?" you asked, your voice soft, eyes wide with curiosity.

he simply chuckled, crawling back onto the bed, hovering over you once more, the warmth of his body enveloping you completely. his eyes trailed down, fixating on your bare chest as he brought the bottle closer, shaking it slightly.

"i’ll show you rather than tell you, baby..." his voice was low, sultry, dripping with mischief.

before you could process his words, the sound of the whipped cream canister filled the air, a soft hiss as the cool, airy cream drizzled onto your bare skin. you gasped, your body flinching slightly at the cold sensation, the contrast between the cool cream and the warmth of your skin sending shivers down your spine.

your gasp quickly turned into a breathy moan as his lips latched onto your breast, his tongue darting out to swirl over your nipple, collecting the sweet cream as he sucked gently.

"oppa—!" your breath hitched, your fingers instinctively tangling into his hair as your thighs squeezed together, the sensation so new, so intense, you barely knew how to handle it.

jay hummed against your skin, the vibrations of his moan sending waves of pleasure through your body. he took his time, alternating between slow, deliberate licks and soft, teasing sucks, his tongue swirling over your sensitive bud, lapping up every last trace of sweetness before he moved to your other breast."fuck, baby..." he groaned against your skin, his breath hot as he placed small, kitten licks over the sensitive area, ensuring no lingering whipped cream remained.

his hands roamed lower, trailing down your waist, gripping your hips firmly as his lips continued to worship you, leaving behind a trail of open-mouthed kisses, each one igniting tiny sparks across your skin.

"so sweet," he murmured, his tongue flicking over your skin one last time, his darkened gaze locking onto yours.

his hands traced down your sides, fingers grazing over the hem of your pants with deliberate slowness, as if savoring every moment before finally tugging them down your thighs. the cool air kissed your exposed skin, a sharp contrast to the warmth pooling in your core, making you shudder slightly. his gaze darkened as he took in the sight of your damp panties, the fabric sticking to your folds, a clear testament to how much his mere touch had affected you.

"so wet already, baby?" he husked, his deep voice sending a wave of heat straight through your body. his fingers hooked under the waistband of your panties, peeling them away with a slow, torturous pace, as if committing the sight to memory. once they were discarded, he parted your thighs, spreading you open completely for his view. you instinctively tried to snap them shut, embarrassment coursing through your veins, but his broad shoulders wedged between them, rendering you completely vulnerable beneath him.

"stay still, baby... you look perfect, princess," he murmured, his tone laced with something dark, something possessive, as his eyes devoured the sight before him. his praise alone had a whimper escaping your lips, your stomach twisting into knots at how intensely he was looking at you.

then, his breath—hot, teasing—ghosted over your bare, aching core. a soft gasp left your lips, your fingers tightening into the sheets beneath you as you squirmed, the anticipation almost too much to bear. he hadn’t even touched you yet, and you were already trembling.

"w-wait, oppa—" your voice was barely above a whisper, hesitation laced in your words, nerves dancing along your spine. "i haven't done this before..." your admission was soft, laced with innocence, your gaze flickering down to meet his.

he only chuckled lowly, his eyes gleaming with something unreadable as he tilted his head slightly, lips curling into a knowing smirk. "i know, princess..." he murmured, his tone gentle yet firm. "just relax... let oppa take care of you."

before you could protest, his fingers dragged through your slick folds, spreading your arousal around with slow, deliberate strokes. the sensation had you gasping sharply, your hips jerking slightly from the unfamiliar yet intoxicating feeling.

"so sensitive, baby..." he cooed, watching intently as you writhed beneath his touch. his thumb found your clit, flicking over it with the lightest pressure, sending a sharp jolt of pleasure up your spine.

"oppa—!" you whimpered, your thighs trembling as you tried to process the overwhelming sensations.

he hummed in satisfaction, leaning in closer, his lips just inches away from where you needed him most. his warm breath fanned over your core, teasing, tormenting, making you ache for more.

"trust me, princess," he whispered, his voice nothing but velvet and sin. "i'm going to make you feel so, so good."

he leaned in slowly, his breath warm against your soaked core, teasing you with the anticipation before his tongue finally darted out, flicking against your sensitive clit with an agonizingly slow precision. the first contact had you gasping sharply, your body instinctively jolting at the foreign but electrifying sensation. his groan vibrated through you as he dragged his tongue lower, parting your wet folds, tasting you with deep, deliberate strokes.

"mmh… taste so fucking good, baby..." his voice was low, raspy, dripping with lust as he spoke between long, languid licks. his tongue moved expertly, alternating between sucking gently on your clit and giving those occasional flicks that sent sharp jolts of pleasure coursing through you. your body trembled beneath him, thighs quivering on either side of his head, the overwhelming sensations making your grip on his bedsheets tighten desperately.

"o-oppa―!" you moaned, your voice breathy, laced with pure bliss as you felt his hands pressing down on your waist, holding you in place. he was completely devouring you, his mouth working like he was savoring every drop of you, his tongue greedy and relentless.

as if the stimulation from his tongue wasn’t already too much, you suddenly felt his fingers glide down to your entrance, teasingly circling the tight hole before pressing against it. the pressure made you jolt, your walls fluttering instinctively in response.

"just relax, baby..." he whispered, his voice soft yet commanding as he finally pushed a finger inside. a sharp gasp tore from your lips, your back arching slightly at the unfamiliar stretch. it burned—just a little—but the feeling was drowned out by the overwhelming fullness as he pushed in deeper, curling his finger slightly before pulling it back and easing in again.

"so fucking tight, baby," he groaned, his voice strained as if he was barely holding himself together. his head lifted slightly, watching with hooded eyes as your walls squeezed around his single digit, sucking him in greedily.

he set a slow, sensual pace, his finger pumping in and out, dragging slick sounds from your soaked core as he worked you open. your soft whimpers only encouraged him, his free hand rubbing soothing circles on your thigh. then, without warning, he pushed in a second finger, stretching you further.

"oppa... s'good... f―feels s'good..." you whimpered, your legs twitching at the new sensation. he curled his fingers slightly, angling them just right.

"there it is…" he murmured, a cocky smirk on his face as he pressed directly against that spot deep inside you. the moment he did, your body jerked violently, a loud moan ripping from your throat as waves of pleasure crashed over you like nothing you’d ever felt before.

he didn’t stop. he focused on that spot mercilessly, his fingers rubbing against it, pressing into it over and over again, drawing out the most obscene sounds from your lips.

"think you can take another one, doll?" he asked, though he didn’t wait for an answer.

before you could even process his words, a third finger slid inside, the stretch making you gasp sharply as your thighs threatened to clamp shut around his head. he groaned against your clit, the vibrations sending you spiraling as his fingers worked deeper, faster, driving you closer and closer to a high that felt almost too intense to bear.

he gripped the whipped cream bottle in his hand, a dark smirk tugging at his lips as he tilted it over your trembling body, the cool sweetness cascading onto your already soaked pussy, the contrast of temperature making you jolt. the moment the last of it dripped down onto your swollen clit, he tossed the bottle aside carelessly, his hunger evident in the way he immediately latched onto you with no hesitation, his mouth working greedily, sloppily, as if he was starving.

his tongue flicked and sucked with newfound intensity, his movements harsher, more desperate than before. his fingers—already buried deep inside you—picked up pace, pumping into you at a dizzying speed, the wet, obscene sound of your slick coating his digits echoing through the dimly lit room.

"oh my–oppa!" you cried out, your legs beginning to tremble violently, the overstimulation making it nearly impossible to think. but he didn’t stop. if anything, he doubled his efforts, tongue circling your clit with relentless precision, fingers curling just right, slamming into your sweet spot with every stroke.

you squirmed, body thrashing beneath his grip as the pleasure became all-consuming, your mind clouded, your senses overwhelmed. you felt something tightening deep inside you, coiling so intensely it almost felt foreign.

"f-feel weird oppa… feels weird!" you gasped out between moans, your voice trembling as your hands gripped desperately at the sheets. it was too much—too much but not enough at the same time.

his chuckle vibrated against your core, the sensation making you shudder as he dragged his tongue in a slow, deliberate stroke up your folds before whispering, "you're gonna cum, baby. come on, do it for me, princess…"

his fingers slammed into you mercilessly, pressing against that one spot over and over, making your back arch impossibly high off the bed. your breathing was erratic, chest heaving as the coil inside you wound impossibly tight, threatening to snap at any moment.

he leaned in, his face hovering over yours, his breath warm against your lips. his free hand came up, gripping your chin firmly as he tilted your face toward him. his dark, intense gaze locked onto yours, watching every expression, every twitch, every moan that spilled from your parted lips.

he didn’t kiss you. he simply stared, mesmerized by the way your innocent features twisted with unfiltered pleasure—the way your brows furrowed, your eyes glazed over with pure lust, completely lost in the feeling he was giving you.

"cum for me, baby," he murmured, his voice like silk yet dripping with authority. "wet my fingers like the good girl you are."

his words sent you spiraling. your body tensed, then snapped as a wave of pure ecstasy crashed over you, shaking you to your core. your moans turned into high-pitched cries, your legs spasming, back arching, eyes rolling as the overwhelming release took control of you.

jay groaned at the sight, his fingers still pumping inside you, prolonging your orgasm, watching in awe as your juices gushed around his hand. his lips curled into a smirk as he finally leaned down, whispering against your lips, "that’s my good girl."

he withdrew his fingers from your trembling, oversensitive core, coated with the evidence of your pleasure. without hesitation, he brought them to your lips, his gaze dark and expectant as he uttered a single command, "suck."

your lips parted instinctively, allowing him to slide his soaked fingers into your warm mouth. your tongue swirled around them, savoring your own taste, moaning softly as you cleaned them off like the obedient girl he wanted you to be. his hooded eyes stayed locked on yours, unwavering and intense, his free hand trailing down to his waistband.

he slowly pulled his fingers from your mouth, the wet pop making something deep within his chest tighten. using both hands, he pushed his pants down, the fabric sliding off effortlessly, revealing the glorious sight beneath.

he was breathtaking.

your gaze flickered down, your breath hitching as your eyes traveled the expanse of his toned body, tracing over the dips and ridges of his defined muscles, the sharp cut of his v-line leading straight down to where his cock stood thick, long, and painfully hard. the sheer size of him had you swallowing hard, a deep hesitation settling in the pit of your stomach.

he noticed immediately.

he leaned down, hovering over you, his strong arms caging you in, his presence intoxicating. with gentle fingers, he tucked your hair behind your ear, pressing a soft, lingering kiss against your lips—soothing, reassuring, yet still holding the burning passion from moments before.

"so pretty for me, baby…" he murmured between slow, deep kisses, his lips barely leaving yours before reconnecting, making you feel dizzy, making you forget everything except him.

his hand moved down to grip the base of his cock, his thick tip dragging torturously slow against your slick folds, smearing the remnants of your arousal mixed with the last traces of whipped cream.

"don’t worry, baby…" his voice was soft yet firm, the deep timbre making your body shiver beneath him. "just focus on me, okay?"

his eyes bore into yours, reading every flicker of uncertainty, every trace of apprehension, but also the undeniable heat that still swirled within them. he wanted to consume you, ruin you, but most importantly—he wanted you to trust him completely.

his voice was gentle, almost soothing as he whispered against your skin, "are you ready, baby?" the warmth of his breath sent shivers down your spine, his lips trailing soft, feather-like kisses along the curve of your neck. his touch was light, teasing, as if he was trying to ease the tension thrumming through your body.

you nodded, barely able to form words, your fingers tightening around the bedsheets, bracing yourself for what was to come. his hands traced down your sides before settling firmly on your hips, his grip reassuring, grounding you.

slowly, he pushed the thick head of his cock past your entrance, the stretch unlike anything you had ever felt before. it was so much more than his fingers, the burn making you whimper, your body tensing instinctively at the intrusion.

"oppa…" your voice trembled as you gasped, your breath coming out in uneven, harsh huffs.

"shh, baby…" his tone was low, coaxing, as his hands came up to soothe you, one gripping your shoulder while the other tangled in your hair, his lips never leaving your skin. "relax for me, it'll go away soon, I promise."

inch by inch, he pushed deeper, taking his time, his patience a stark contrast to the sheer hunger burning in his darkened gaze. his arms slid beneath yours, pulling you closer as his chest pressed against yours, the heat of his body surrounding you completely.

to distract you from the overwhelming stretch, he captured your lips in a slow, intoxicating kiss, his tongue moving languidly against yours, coaxing soft whimpers from your throat. his kisses were deep, all-consuming, making you forget the discomfort, replacing it with a different kind of heat—a pleasure that had your body arching into him despite yourself.

his hips stilled, allowing you to adjust, his lips never leaving yours, whispering sweet reassurances between each kiss. and though the sting still lingered, the way he held you, the way he worshiped your body, made it impossible to feel anything but him.

your voice came out in a breathy plea, your body finally adjusting to the overwhelming stretch as the pain slowly melted away, replaced by something far more pleasurable. "move, oppa…" the words were barely above a whisper, but he heard them loud and clear.

jay exhaled a shaky breath, his self-control hanging by a thread as he obeyed, his hips rolling forward in a slow, deliberate motion. his cock dragged against your slick walls, the stretch still prominent, but now laced with pleasure that had your breath hitching.

"fuck, princess…" he groaned, his voice thick with restraint as he fought against his own hunger, focusing solely on you. "you're gripping me so fucking tight—" his head tilted back slightly, jaw clenching as he forced himself to keep the steady rhythm, each thrust measured, deep, ensuring you felt every inch of him.

your moans grew softer at first, small whimpers escaping as the pleasure built inside you, growing more intense with every slow stroke. the way he moved, the way he filled you so perfectly, the deep, languid thrusts pressing against your sensitive spots without even trying— it had your thighs trembling beneath him, your body reacting instinctively to the delicious friction.

"oppa…" his name left your lips in a desperate moan, your body writhing beneath him, wanting more, needing more. the slow pace wasn’t enough—not when you could feel the coil in your stomach tightening, begging for release so quickly.

"faster, oppa—please," you whined, your walls clenching around him in a way that had his entire body tensing, his grip on your waist tightening.

a low, guttural groan tore through him, his fingers digging into your skin as his control snapped, his thrusts suddenly picking up speed. the slow, sensual movements were gone, replaced with something raw, primal— his hips slamming into yours with purpose, his cock now pistoning in and out of you, each deep thrust sending waves of pleasure coursing through your body.

"fucking hell, baby…" he moaned, his dark eyes never leaving your face, watching every little reaction as he took you harder, faster. "feel so fucking good wrapped around me like this—"

his hands gripped your waist tighter, holding you still as he drove into you with increasing intensity, each stroke dragging against your sensitive walls in a way that had your toes curling. the heat between you both was unbearable, suffocating, your body burning with pleasure as he fucked you into the mattress, completely lost in you.

your moans filled the room, a melody of pleasure that only spurred him on, his pace never faltering. "oppa—oh my—!" your voice broke as your back arched off the mattress, the force of his thrusts sending waves of pleasure crashing over you, each deep stroke making your body tremble beneath him.

jay was completely lost in you, his lips parted as he bit down hard on his bottom lip, a poor attempt to muffle the groans threatening to spill from his throat. but it was useless. the way your walls clenched around him so perfectly, the heat of your slick wrapping around his cock like a vice— it had him letting out low, breathy moans, his restraint slipping with every thrust.

"fuck, baby—" his voice was hoarse, his forehead pressing against yours as he stared down at you, eyes blown with lust, completely drunk off the way you felt around him. the way your body moved, the way you moaned his name so sweetly, so desperately— it only made his hips snap forward harder, the sound of skin slapping echoing through the room, mixing with the filthy wet sounds of him gliding in and out of you.

the coil in his stomach was tightening, his cock twitching violently inside you, warning him that he was teetering dangerously close to the edge. "cum with me, baby," he moaned, his voice laced with pure desperation as his thrusts turned erratic, deeper, harder, completely losing himself in the overwhelming pleasure.

your body responded immediately, your walls squeezing him so tightly that he choked on a moan, his grip on your waist bruising as he pounded into you mercilessly. you were right there—your breath coming in ragged pants, your fingers clutching onto his toned arms for stability, your head tilting back as pleasure consumed you.

"o-oppa! i—!" your voice cracked as the orgasm crashed over you like a tidal wave, your body trembling beneath him, your pussy pulsing around his cock as you came hard.

jay groaned loudly at the feeling, his hips slamming into you one final time before he buried himself as deep as possible, his body shuddering violently as he came undone. his hot release filled you, his moans turning into breathless gasps as he rode out his high, his hands gripping onto you like you were the only thing keeping him grounded.

he collapsed against you, his damp skin pressed against yours as he tried to catch his breath, his lips finding your neck to leave lazy, open-mouthed kisses. "fuck, baby…" he panted, his fingers tracing soothing circles against your thigh as he stayed inside you, unwilling to let go just yet. "so perfect for me… my beautiful princess."

with a swift motion, jay flipped you over, his strength effortless as he maneuvered your trembling body on top of him. your hands instinctively splayed against his toned chest, feeling the rapid rise and fall of his breaths beneath your fingertips. his cock remained buried deep inside you, stretching you so perfectly, filling you in a way that had your thighs quivering around his waist.

before you could even adjust to the new position, he wasted no time—his hips snapping upwards in powerful, relentless thrusts, sending shockwaves of pleasure coursing through your body. your mouth fell open in a silent moan, the force of his movements making your body jolt with each deep stroke.

"fuck, baby—" he groaned, his grip on your waist tightening, fingers digging into your flesh as he took full control. "can't get enough of this pussy, you're so fucking tight—" his voice was raw, filled with pure hunger as he lifted you effortlessly, dragging your dripping heat along his length before slamming you back down onto his cock, meeting your body with the force of his thrusts.

your hands scrambled for purchase, nails digging into his skin as your body bounced helplessly in his grasp. his pace was merciless, each upward snap of his hips sending you deeper into a euphoric haze, your moans mixing with the obscene sounds of your bodies colliding.

"o-oppa—!" you cried out, your head tilting back as overwhelming pleasure coursed through you, each powerful thrust hitting that sweet spot buried deep inside you with perfect precision.

jay's dark eyes were locked onto you, watching the way your breasts bounced with each harsh movement, the way your face contorted in pleasure, completely lost in the way he fucked you. his breath was ragged, his jaw clenched as he felt your walls tighten around him.

"yeah, baby… take it. take it just like that," he groaned, his voice thick with lust. his hands left your waist momentarily, coming up to cup your breasts, rolling your hardened nipples between his fingers before trailing lower, fingers pressing onto your sensitive clit.

your entire body jerked at the sudden stimulation, a loud whimper spilling from your lips as you clenched down on him, the sensation sending him spiraling closer to his own release.

"fuck, princess—"* he groaned, his hips slamming up into you with desperate intensity, his pace growing more erratic, more uncontrollable. he was chasing his high now, completely drunk off the way your tight walls milked him so perfectly.

"gonna make you cum again, baby," he murmured, his fingers rubbing tight circles on your clit, his cock stretching you so deliciously with every deep thrust. "wanna feel you cum all over my dick again—fuck, you’re so perfect for me."

your nails dug deep into his skin, leaving crescent-shaped imprints along his toned arms as he continued to thrust into you with relentless force. each movement sent you rocking against him, the bed creaking beneath the two of you in a rhythmic harmony, the sound mixing with your desperate moans and the obscene wet slaps of your bodies meeting over and over again.

"o-oppa—I'm close! oh my god—" your voice was high-pitched, broken with pleasure as your body shuddered violently above him, every muscle tightening as the overwhelming sensation built inside you, threatening to consume you whole.

"fuck, baby—cum for me," he groaned, his own voice strained, thick with need, his breath coming out in ragged pants as he felt you clench down on him like a vice. his hips snapped up into you even harder, more erratic now, his grip on your waist tightening, thumbs pressing bruises into your soft skin.

"wet my dick—shit, just like that—fuck—!" his moans turned into desperate cries as his head tilted back against the pillows, his jaw slack as his body tensed beneath you. a low, guttural groan ripped from his chest as he twitched violently inside you, thick ropes of his hot release filling you up, coating your walls as he came undone beneath you.

the feeling of him pulsing inside you, his warmth spreading deep within, sent you spiraling over the edge, your body convulsing uncontrollably as your orgasm hit with full force. your vision blurred, white-hot pleasure surging through every nerve as your climax ripped through you, leaving you gasping loudly, your thighs trembling as you fell forward onto his chest, completely spent.

both of you lay there, bodies entangled, chests rising and falling rapidly as you tried to catch your breath. the room was thick with the scent of sweat and sex, the heat between your bodies lingering as the aftershocks of pleasure continued to roll through you.

his hands slowly came up to trace soft patterns along your waist, his touch gentle now, a stark contrast to the roughness from just moments ago. his lips pressed tender kisses onto your bare shoulder, his breath warm against your damp skin as he murmured against you, voice laced with exhaustion and adoration.

"so pretty, my baby…" he whispered, his fingers lightly grazing over your back, grounding you in the warmth of his embrace. he pressed one last lingering kiss to the side of your neck before resting his forehead against your temple, a lazy, satisfied smile tugging at his lips.

"happy birthday, princess," he murmured softly, his arms tightening around you, holding you close as if he never wanted to let you go.

natty's notesᝰ.ᐟ i hoped you liked it !!

[yjw1a1]

𓍼 ⋮ DUTY AND DESIRE ( P.JS )

𝒾 : may i present to you dearest reader, Atticus, Viscount Bridgerton, a man of undeniable charm and stubbornness whose responsibilities are endless. his attitude might just be the biggest headache of your life. 【 ˚⊱☁️⊰˚ 】 ♯ 𝒿𝒶𝓎 𝔁 𝓯𝓮𝓶!𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓭𝓮𝓻 | 𝓌 : 𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞, 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭, 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐥𝐞, 𝐬𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐛𝐮𝐫𝐧, 𝐮𝐧𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐬𝐞𝐱, 𝐡𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥 𝐬𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐬𝐦𝐮𝐭, 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐬, 𝐦𝐝𝐧𝐢.

disclaimer ‣ this fanfiction is inspired by the viscount who loved me, originally from the bridgerton series book and show. most elements are purposely altered.

𝓌𝒸 : 23.1k

( ‧˚꒰🦪꒱༘⋆ ) write to lady whistledown ✒️៹

Atticus has always been known for his disinterest in marriage and responsibilities. But now he's no longer young, he's 26 and doesn't have the time to fool around anymore. Atticus Bridgerton has finally decided to find a wife to claim the title of Viscountess alongside him and settle for life.

Today's the day of another season to start where two Bridgertons would dip their feet into the waters of the marriage mart. The debut to society of Elisa Bridgerton and the Viscount Atticus Bridgerton in search of a wife.

He sat comfortably on one side of the carriage, while his younger brothers, Benjamin and Giovann, occupied the seat opposite, their expressions mischievous.

"My task this season is not that hard," Atticus declared with an easy smile, folding his arms across his chest. "My best friend managed it, and with our little sister, no less. How hard can it be?"

Benjamin let out a low chuckle, his lips curving into a smirk. "Aww, look at him speaking with such... conviction," he quipped, drawing a mockingly affectionate expression that immediately mirrored onto Giovann's face.

"Aww," Giovann chimed in, pitching his voice higher in mock sentimentality. "Such feelings, dear brother. So admirable."

Atticus shot them both a wry look, though it was clear from the slight upward twitch of his lips that he wasn’t truly offended. He leaned forward, gesturing slightly as he continued. "What I need is what I already have, a list. My wife should be someone tolerable, dutiful, suitable enough hips for childbearing—"

At this, Benjamin sputtered into laughter, and Giovann’s eyes widened with delighted amusement. "Hips?" Giovann interjected. "Did he just say 'suitable enough hips'?"

Undeterred, Atticus pressed on, though his brothers’ laughter was quickly escalating. "Yes, hips," he said firmly. "And at least half-a-brain. And that last part," he added, raising a finger for emphasis, "is not so much a requirement but a preference, in fact."

That was the breaking point. Both Benjamin and Giovann burst into uncontrollable laughter, Benjamin doubling over as Giovann clutched his side.

"Childbearing hips!" Benjamin howled, gasping for air between his laughter. "You’ve truly set the bar high this time, brother."

"Oh, poor women of London," Giovann added between giggles. "They’ll have to measure themselves by Atticus Bridgerton's exacting standards. Half-a-brain, or none at all!"

Atticus shook his head, "You two are insufferable," he muttered, though it was drowned out by another chorus of laughter.

The event of the debutants to society began but was shortly cut upon the Queen's request. Elisa stood in the center of their drawing room, her face pinched in concentration as she attempted to follow Giovann’s lead in a simple waltz. Her brows furrowed, and her tongue poked out slightly, a sure sign of her determination. Giovann, for his part, was doing his best to keep their movements fluid, though his grimaces suggested her steps were anything but graceful. While their mother, Violet, is also in grimace watching her daughter mess up a simple waltz so badly.

From the corner of the room, Heather leaned against the arm rest of the couch, her sharp gaze fixed on Elisa's efforts. "I do not think she’s very good," she said bluntly, her voice carrying across the room.

"She can hear you, you know," Benjamin pointed out from where he lounged on the opposite couch, pencil in hand, sketching aimlessly.

"I can hear you," Elisa shot back, her tone clipped as she tried to focus on her footing. "Elisa, watch my feet!" Giovann urged, but a moment later, he yelped, "Oww!" as her foot landed squarely on his.

At that moment, the door swung open, and Atticus strolled in while yapping, "Is anyone else aware that dear Caleb has apparently decided to add Albania to his itinerary as he gathers about the world?"

His mother took one last glance at Elisa before turning her head to him, "Joining us for tea, Atticus?" she asked. "I’m afraid not, Mother," he replied, shaking his head. "Too many calls on my funds today. Now that the season has started, I’ll need to fill your coffers at the Modiste and oversee the hiring of future staff. And your ring, I shall need it."

Violet arched a brow. "You’re requesting my ring?"

"Father’s betrothal ring," Atticus clarified. Benjamin perked up, smirking. "Did someone catch your eye at the debut today, brother?"

"Hardly," Atticus scoffed. "I simply like to be prepared for when the opportunity presents itself."

"The opportunity?" Violet echoed, her amusement barely concealed.

"I’ve already compiled an index of the season’s eligible misses and have arranged interviews," he announced, with the same pride one might reserve for solving a complex puzzle.

At that, Violet couldn’t contain her laughter. "Interviews?" she repeated, covering her mouth delicately with her hand. Composing herself, she added, "Dearest, I shall be more than happy to give you my ring when you find someone with whom you are very much in love. Besides, it is in safekeeping in your father and I’s old house at Aubrey Hall."

Benjamin chuckled softly to himself, while Giovann muttered something under his breath about the absurdity of "interviews." Elisa, however, seemed too focused on avoiding Giovann’s toes to pay much attention.

Violet slowly walked to where Benjamin was sprawled on the couch, his sketchbook balanced on his knees. Leaning down, she whispered, "See that he is quite well."

Benjamin groaned, throwing his head back in mock protest. "Me?"

"I am in no need of coddling," Atticus interjected firmly. Straightening his jacket, he glanced around the room. "I assure you all, everything is in order."

But as he turned on his heel to leave, the collective smiles and knowing glances from his family suggested they’re nowhere near convinced.

The names of this season’s eligible young ladies were carefully compiled, each paired with meticulous notes on their family lineage, education, and accomplishments.

It began with the best intentions. Each interview was conducted with the utmost formality. He would meet with each lady at balls, garden parties, promenades, and private calls, armed with charming conversation and a practiced smile. But as the days wore on, his pen moved steadily across the list, striking out one name after another.

Lady Eleanor? Too timid. She barely uttered a word throughout their meeting, her gaze fixed on her lap, her responses monotonous. Miss Eden? A lovely conversationalist but lacked the "appropriate" family connections. Miss Genevieve? Intelligent, witty, and accomplished, but her laugh—sharp and shrill—had grated on his nerves, and he could not envision enduring it for a lifetime. Lady Matilda? A graceful dancer, yes, but when he asked her opinion on a recent parliamentary matter, she had giggled and said, "Oh, I don’t trouble myself with such dull things!"

One by one, they fell short of his impossibly high standards. Hips too narrow, humor too dry, voice too loud, too quiet, too uninspiring, lacks intelligence. His list grew shorter, his frustration deeper. He began to wonder if any woman could meet the exact image he had built in his mind. All while the demands of his new title weighed heavily on him.

His desk was now a sea of paperwork. Accounts, ledgers, property disputes, tenant grievances, every waking moment seemed consumed by numbers, letters, and signatures. The Bridgerton estate was vast, and its endless riches unfortunately is accompanied by a lot of responsibilities.

By day, he drowned in his duties. By night, he sought an escape in the company of mistresses, women who asked nothing of him but coin and pleasure. They were beautiful and fleeting, each a brief reprieve from the pressure that threatened to crush him. In the chambers of London’s high-class brothels, he indulged in the momentary release they offered.

He paid them generously, always ensuring they left with no lingering expectations. But even as he found brief relief in their arms, he could not ignore the growing emptiness within him. The list was now reduced to a few names, and even those he stared at with little hope. His standards, once a source of pride, now felt like chains binding him to an impossible ideal. He was the Viscount, the head of the Bridgerton family, a man of power, influence, and riches, but in his pursuit of perfection, he was slowly realizing how isolated he had become.

It was early dawn when you decided to take your horse out for a ride, to explore the green fields of London in your first day here. You had just arrived in the city last night with your mother and little sister from Wales. The purpose? Well, to join in on London's season and have your little sister find a match that can set her for life.

You had always looked out for your little sister, you wish nothing but for her not to be wasted. She's an intelligent and sweet young lady and she should not follow your footstep as a spinster. Now that she's 18, you're determined to help her find a titled man. To make sure she won't end up like you, 26 and unmarried. There's no longer a hope for you.

Atticus let out a deep sigh, savoring the peace. Until it was shattered by the piercing neigh of a horse, fast and frantic.

He turned his head sharply toward the noise, his eyes narrowing in concern. In the distance, a figure on horseback was racing through the open field, their coat billowing behind them. “Woah, miss! Are you in trouble?” he called out, spurring his horse into action.

The figure did not respond, their horse continuing at a reckless pace. Determined, Atticus urged his own steed into a gallop, the powerful horse closing the distance between them. “Come on,” he murmured to his horse, his voice steady yet urgent.

The chase was swift, the wind biting against his face as they chased through the expanse of trees and fields. Ahead, he noticed a torn bush sprawled across the path, its brambles jagged and high enough to deter a cautious rider.

“Careful now!” he shouted, his voice carrying over the thundering hooves. But the rider ahead showed no hesitation. With an impressive display of skill and fearlessness, they urged their horse forward, leaping over the bush with graceful precision. The horse landed cleanly on the other side, its rider steady and composed.

“Woah there!” Atticus exclaimed, pulling his horse to a halt just before the bush. His breath caught as you finally turned, pausing momentarily.

You reached up, pulling back the hood of your coat to reveal yourself. You gave him a simple nod as a greeting, your lips curled up into a cocky smile.

Atticus, was left stunned, admiring you. Without a word, you turned your horse and continued forward, disappearing into the distance to get away from him. You absolutely have no interest in befriending any man this season.

For a long moment, Atticus remained where he was. Then he chuckled softly to himself, shaking his head in amusement. “Well then,” he murmured to no one in particular. “Who might you be?” He adjusted his reins and urged his horse forward to follow you.

As you ride forward, you thought the encounter had ended, convinced you’d left the weird man behind. But just as you are already enjoying your peace once again, he appeared out of nowhere, startling your soul out.

“Enjoying your victory lap?” he called out, a teasing edge to his voice.

“Oh, fuck it,” you muttered under your breath, trying not to roll your eyes.

“Apologies, sir,” you said, feigning politeness as your horse slowed just slightly. “I did not mean to cause any of this concern.”

“Does your maid know you are riding astride?”

“I have no maid,” you replied sharply, refusing to look at him.

“Ah, then you’re married,” he said confidently, as if his deductions were always correct.

The corners of your mouth threatened to twitch, but you kept your face perfectly neutral. You were trying very hard not to laugh at his assumptions.

You? Married? As if.

When you said nothing, he smiled, getting the hint that his confident assumption was wrong. “Forgive me. Then you are lost.”

“I am not lost either,” you answered firmly. “I am on my way back to Mayfair. It is just ahead.”

His brow arched, eyes twinkling at the place you mentioned. “Mayfair? Well then—”

“I appreciate your attention, sir,” you interrupted before he could continue. “But I assure you, I am perfectly safe. Perhaps we pretend this encounter never took place? You allow me to go my way, and you go yours.”

“You worry about being seen?” he asked, tilting his head slightly as if your concern amused him.

“I worry about being seen meeting a strange man at parks at dawn who fail to leave me alone with all of their questions,” you shot back.

“Your secret is safe with me,” he replied with a chuckle. “I shall not tell a soul.”

“How grateful I am,” you said dryly, your voice laced with sarcasm.

You urged your horse forward, eager to put distance between yourself and his infuriating smirk, but his voice called out again.

“Mayfair is not right ahead. It is the other way entirely.”

You froze, your mouth parting slightly in shock. Heat crept up your cheeks, and you cursed under your breath. Turning your horse around with as much dignity as you could muster, you refused to look at him.

As your horse began to gallop again, you heard him shout behind you, “We have not yet been introduced!”

Without looking back, you called out, laughing as you rode away, “I am afraid that is not possible! Not when I have a victory lap to enjoy!”

As the first ball of the season finally started, you stood near the edge of the bustling floor together with Eve, your mother, and Lady Danbury. A cluster of eligible young men and women danced on the dance floor. Everlyn was practically vibrating with excitement, her eyes twinkling as it moves from one gentleman to the next like a butterfly sampling flowers.

Lady Danbury leaned in and began her usual assessments. "That one," she gestured with her cane toward a blond gentleman near the orchestra, "is Lord Wentworth. His family has title but little fortune. A charming sort, though. Spends too much time at White’s gambling away what little they have left."

Everlyn whispered, "But he’s so handsome!"

"And utterly useless," Lady Danbury sniffed. "No substance beneath the gloss. Move along, my dear."

The game continued as she pointed out another: "Viscount Stanley. His estates are in good order, though his mother is said to be meddlesome. You’d be marrying the whole family, mark my words."

You tuned out slightly, your gaze wandering around the crowd. The air buzzed with excited whispers, but one particular ripple of conversation drew your attention. Heads turned toward the grand doors as a family entered, their arrival like a fresh gust of wind through the ballroom.

The Bridgertons had arrived.

It wasn’t just their impeccable timing that made them the topic of every whispered conversation, no. It was him. Viscount Atticus Bridgerton, tall, responsible, and impeccably handsome, surrounded by eligible ladies like they're moths and he's the warm glowing flame.

Your breath hitched the moment your eyes landed on him. He was the man you encountered this morning, his face was unmistakable. Every bit of his move screams elegance and attractiveness.

You couldn't help but blurt out while staring at him, “I know that man.”

Everlyn’s brows shot up. “Who?”

Before you could respond, Lady Danbury followed your gaze. Her eyes narrowed thoughtfully, and a smile tugged at her lips. “The Viscount Bridgerton,” she declared, as though presenting the crown jewel in a display case. “I don’t believe I’ve had the pleasure of introducing you yet, but you do have a keen eye, my dear. Viscount Bridgerton is one of the most eligible gentlemen this season. Wealthy, has a lot of connections, and hailing from one of the ton’s most illustrious families. And, as it seems everyone in this room already knows, the man has finally declared his intention to marry.”

You turned back to him, the corners of your lips lifting into a soft, almost involuntary smile. “He is…” you hesitated, the word almost tasting strange as it left your lips, “…handsome.”

Everlyn, who had been equally entranced, nodded in emphatic agreement. “Very handsome.”

The two of you stood there, transfixed, as if caught in some spell by the Viscount himself. You barely noticed the way the other ladies swarmed around him, vying for his attention. You only knew that, for a moment, the crowded ballroom seemed to fade, and the Viscount’s presence was the only thing that remained in your eyes.

You hadn't even noticed how your sister was asked by another gentleman and already joined on the dance floor. You simply stood and admired.

You even watched every move he makes as he dances with ladies with such disinterest on his face. As he finally got tired, he stepped out before the next song starts, bowing respectfully at the lady he was dancing with and going out.

For whatever reason you have, you decided to follow him out, ensuring to maintain quite a number of paces behind him so it wouldn't be that obvious. He went out of the venue and conversed with the group of men hanging around outside as they drink and smoke.

You also stepped out and turned your head to the left where the men are gathered including Atticus. You quietly walked to the bushes so you can hide yourself while eavesdropping on their conversation.

“Well, Bridgerton,” one of them, Lord Whitby, said with a grin, clapping him on the shoulder. “So it’s true, then? You’re finally in search of a wife?”

Atticus tilted his head slightly, a smile playing on his lips. “It appears so.”

Lord Whitby let out a chuckle. “About time. Though I’ll admit, it’s a surprise to hear you finally relent. I was beginning to think you’d hold out forever.”

Another of the men, Sir Eric Hayes, chimed in with a teasing tone. “What changed your mind? Surely, it’s not romance? A love match, perhaps?”

Atticus’ smirk deepened as he shook his head. “Hardly. A love match is the last thing on my mind. What I hope for is practicality. My children must be of good stock. For that, the mother must be of high quality—a pleasing face, exceptional wit, genteel manners. Enough to credit a Viscountess. Shouldn’t be too hard to find.”

His companions chuckled, Lord Corning shaking his head in amused disbelief. “You make it sound like you’re choosing a racehorse.”

Atticus casually shrugged, unfazed. “It’s no different. The right match is a matter of precision, not sentiment.”

Sir Eric, leaned in conspiratorially. “Well, if you’re determined to find the best, why not save yourself some effort and wait for the Queen to name the Diamond of the Season? It would narrow your search, wouldn’t it?”

The suggestion was met with nods of agreement. Atticus considered it for a moment, then his lips slowly curved into a confident smile that shows a man who never doubted his abilities.

“Perhaps,” he said, his tone light and assured. “But wooing the gem is another matter entirely.”

The men laughed in unison. Lord Whitby raised his glass. “Ah, but that wouldn’t be a problem for you, would it, Bridgerton?”

“Not in the slightest,” Atticus replied smoothly, his confidence shining brighter than the chandeliers above. The group erupted into hearty laughter once again as they talk how a wife should just be wed, bed, and bred.

Not long after, the men invited Atticus into the smoke room to which he only responded with “I’ll follow later.”

They nodded and walked away continuing the conversation amongst themselves as Atticus turned to supposedly go back inside the venue.

But with how unlucky you are as you walked the other direction to get out of the bushes, you accidentally kicked a watering can and it made a loud noise, alerting Atticus of someone else's presence behind the tall grass.

“Who is that? I can hear–” he rounded the bush to investigate in a hurry and found you, “–you.”

You froze. He had found you. How infuriating this night is. Damn it. Curse whoever's making you so unlucky.

Slowly turning, you watched as Atticus smiled in amusement as he recognizes you, his dark eyes gleaming with a mix of intrigue and surprise at having the fate to encounter you again after what happened this morning.

“Pardon me, my lord,” you said, your voice cool and steady despite your rapidly beating heart.

“I never got your name,” he said, his tone casual but his gaze glued on you. “I was wondering if we’d meet again.”

“Why?” you asked, arching an eyebrow. “So you can see if my wit is acceptable? My genteel manners?”

His lips twitched. “You were eavesdropping?”

“It was hardly an effort,” you shot back, crossing your arms. “Seeing as you were proclaiming your many requirements for a wife loud enough for the entire party to hear.”

He tilted his head, a small smirk forming on his lips. “You take issue with my requirements?”

You stepped closer, challenging him. “I take issue with any man who views women merely as chattels and breeding stocks!”

His smirk faltered, just slightly, accompanied by his eyes widening at your words. “I didn’t mean it like that—”

“Oh, didn’t you?” you interrupted, your words cutting and sharp and you took another step closer to him, “Viscount Bridgerton, yes? When you manage to find this paragon of virtue, what makes you think she will accept your suit? Are the young ladies of London truly so easily won by a pleasing smile and absolutely nothing more?”

For a moment, he looked taken aback. Then, to your absolute irritation, his smirk returned, only more cocky now. “So you find my smile pleasing?”

You blinked at him, caught off guard for a fraction of a second before regaining your composure. “I find your opinion of yourself entirely too high,” you retorted. “Your character is as deficient as your horsemanship. I shall bid you goodnight.”

And with that, you walked past him, your skirts swishing as you strode back inside the ballroom. You didn’t dare look back, but you could feel his gaze on you, and you couldn’t deny the thrill of leaving the Viscount speechless.

You stepped back into the ballroom, adjusting your gown while scanning the crowd to look for your mother and sister. You easily spotted them by the refreshments as Eve is conversing with a gentleman.

You walked to them and suddenly, a ripple of silence spread as the musicians abruptly stopped playing. Whispers bubbled up, eyes turning toward where the Queen is standing.

Your brows furrowed for a fleeting moment until it occured to you what this will be about.

Ah, of course. The Queen’s announcement which is eagerly awaited by everyone. You suddenly felt an unexpected pang of nerves. Your gaze darted to Eve, who stood beside you, her face calm but her hands gripping the skirts of her dress tightly.

“Do not be nervous,” you whispered to her in jest, though now you were gripping your own skirts and what you said is sounding more of an assurance to you than to your sister.

The Queen raised her hand, silencing the murmurs entirely. Her eyes swept over the crowd, lingering on the young women in their dazzling gowns. Her expression remained stoic as if unimpressed.

“Your presence is noted. And your queen most appreciative,” she began, her voice ringing clear now that everyone is completely silent, “Allow it to now be my honor to present to you the season's diamond. Miss Everlyn Sheffield.”

Your breath hitched. For a moment, you thought you hadn’t heard her correctly. But then the room erupted into applause, heads turning toward your sister, and it became clear.

Eve stood frozen for half a heartbeat, her eyes wide with astonishment. Then she dipped into a graceful curtsy, her face radiant with both shock and joy.

You couldn’t help it, your eyes widened, and a proud, wide smile formed across your face. “She did it,” you murmured, your heart swelling with delight.

The applause grew louder, and you joined in enthusiastically, clapping until your palms stung. The Queen’s choice was nothing less than a triumph, and for it to be your sister felt like the crowning jewel of the evening.

You didn’t care about the stares from others as you smiled openly at Eve, catching her gaze just long enough to wink at her. She gave you a small, nervous laugh in return, her cheeks flushed as the spotlight now firmly rested on her.

You cannot even imagine. I mean, The Diamond of the Season is your sister? Oh you couldn't be more proud. Years of training her to be a flawless and sweet young lady is finally paying off much to your satisfaction.

It is truly a moment of pride for you, isn't it? So why is there an odd pang lingering in your chest? It wasn’t jealousy, no, how could it be? Eve deserved every ounce of praise she was receiving. And yet, as you watched her walk toward the Queen, poised and flawless, the flutter of something unexplainable stirred within you. Maybe it's protectiveness. You had care for your sister since the day she was born and perhaps deep inside, you are not willing to see her get taken and swept away from you. You'd miss her. Truly.

And then, out of nowhere, he appeared. Viscount Atticus Bridgerton.

You couldn’t help but raise a brow as you observed the scene unfold. The Queen, to your surprise, acknowledged him almost immediately, her lips curving into an amused smile as she introduced the Viscount to your sister. A sense of unease tightened in your chest, though you weren’t entirely sure why. It wasn’t your business who the Viscount mingle with.

Still, when he bowed to Eve and asked for a dance, and the Queen herself encouraged your sister with an approving nod, the unease grew sharper, almost gnawing at you.

This is irritating. Why would you feel this way? You're going crazy. Yeah you definitely are.

Eve curtsied with her usual grace, accepting his offer, and the two moved to the center of the ballroom.

You stood in a distance, arms crossed, your expression unreadable but for the slight furrow of your brow. You couldn’t hear their conversation over the music and distance, but it was clear they were conversing easily, perhaps even too easily.

When the music ended, you decided it was time to intervene. You and Lady Danbury moved toward the pair.

It did not take long for Eve to notice you approaching and lit up. “Kate! Lady Danbury!” she exclaimed cheerfully.

Lady Danbury’s cane tapped lightly against the floor as she inclined her head toward the Viscount. “Ah, Viscount Bridgerton, I see you’ve had the pleasure of meeting Miss Everlyn. And this,” she said, gesturing toward you with a faint smile, “is her–”

“Her sister,” Atticus finished sharply, his tone dripping with disdain and shock.

Your lips curved into a smug smile as you ddn't even bother to bow, “Miss Katherine, my lord,” you said, your voice even and polite, though your eyes and smile displayed the opposite thing, like you're taunting the Viscount.

His gaze locked with yours intensely, he easily saw through your sarcastic mocking smile, making his forehead crease and eyes twitch in annoyance as if he had just encountered his greatest enemy.

He actually did, no doubt.

After what felt like an eternity of a staring competition with Lady Danbury looking back and forth between the two of you, clearly weirded out. You finally released a breath you didn't even know you were holding.

You took Eve’s hand in the middle of her ramblings in giving compliments to how much of a great dance the Viscount is, completely oblivious to how you and him killed each other with looks. “Join me in the retiring room, sister.”

You managed to pull Eve away, and she finally noticed there's something wrong with how rushed you dragged her away with a clenched jaw, looking straight ahead as you walked with her dragged behind.

“Is something wrong, Deirfiúr?” she asked in a worried voice, trying hard to keep up with how fast you are walking right now you might as well just run or maybe even fly. “You are never to go near that man. Do you understand?” You declared while looking sternly at her beside you, emphasizing the word never.

She tried to open her mouth again to press further but shut it immediately, knowing better than to agitate you.

Atticus on the other hand, stared in awe even as you dragged your sister away from sight. From their conversation, he is quite taken by her, by how she answered his questions without finding it weird and even complimenting him for knowing exactly what he wants. She was the first girl to not question his weird interview, and also the first one who's both beautiful and intelligent. Has accomplished several studies, plays multiple instrument, and wants nothing more than to have kids no matter how many.

She ticks every box on his list. She is perfect, and this is the perfection Atticus has been seeking. “She is who I shall marry,” he declared while his mother, Violet, is beside him. Her smile faltering a bit as she looks at her son with furrowed brows. It is only the first day they met, and she knows her son well enough to know that Atticus is only declaring this because she has perfect qualities for a Viscountess. And Violet hates to witness one of her children falling into a solely beneficial marriage instead of a love match.

Dearest reader, it has been said that competition is an opportunity for us to rise and stand ready before our greatest of challenges. Well, if what this author hears in the story is true, then a great challenge concerning this season's Diamond has been set forth. Any suitor wishing to gain an audience with Miss Everlyn Sheffield must first tame the overprotective prickly spinster of a beast, otherwise known as her sister.

Benjamin inspected his reflection in the mirror with idle amusement. Atticus is seated right beside him rambling on about the events they'll be attending this season. “The whole family is to attend the race this afternoon, we need to be there as a whole.”

Benjamin hummed in response, “Sure but you seem quite taken with this season’s diamond,” he remarked, his voice carrying a teasing hint to it.

Atticus exhaled through his nose, a faint smirk playing on his lips. “Taken is too strong a word. I simply recognize that Miss Everlyn possesses all the qualities one could ask for in a viscountess. Grace, beauty, poise, and the endorsement of Her Majesty herself. She’s the ideal candidate.”

Benjamin chuckled, clearly entertained. “Grace, beauty, poise.” he mocked, “You sound like you’re shopping for the finest horse, not courting a wife. You realize you must first ensure Miss Everlyn is also interested to marry you, yes? Otherwise, even the Queen’s endorsement won’t save you.”

Atticus’ smirk deepened as he leaned back, allowing the barber to work along his jawline. “Winning Miss Everlyn’s favor will be no great challenge,” he said, his tone full of confidence. “She is intelligent enough to recognize a good match when she sees one. I offer wealth, connections, a title, what more could she possibly want?”

“Miss Everlyn is not who you shall put an effort in,” Benjamin suggested, the grin in his voice unmistakable. “I heard that the only opinion she values and follows is her sister’s. That is what you should put your most effort into.”

At the mention of her, his expression darkened. “Miss Katherine,” he muttered, as if her name alone was enough to sour his mood.

Benjamin tilted his head, intrigued. “Ah, so you have given her some thought. I take it she made an impression.”

“A most unfavorable one,” Atticus retorted. “She’s sharp-tongued, insufferably opinionated, and seems determined to make herself a thorn in my side. Were it not for her presence, I would already have Miss Everlyn’s approval.”

Benjamin laughed outright at that, earning a disapproving glance from his brother. “A thorny rose, is she? From the looks of you, it seems like you hate her so much already.”

Atticus’ jaw tightened as the barber cleaned the last traces of soap from his face. “I’ll not concern myself with her,” he said dismissively. “Miss Katherine may be an irritation, but she is of no real consequence. I’ve dealt with far thornier obstacles before, and I’ll not let her dissuade me from pursuing the most suitable wife for my position.”

Benjamin hummed thoughtfully as he leaned back in his chair, clearly unconvinced. “If you say so, brother. But be careful, with the way that you'd be courting Miss Katherine more just to gain Everlyn’s favor, you might end up falling in love with the wrong sister.”

Atticus scoffed loudly, waving the comment off with an easy air, rising from his chair as the barber finished his work. “Heaven forbid, I would never. She’s just another obstacle to be dealt with. Nothing more.”

Never huh? Well let's see if the Viscount can actually stand for his words. Or if he'll just end up swallowing it.

During the race in the afternoon where most ladies carried a parasol on them due to the heat of the sun, you stood beside Lady Danbury and Everlyn. Everlyn is currently conversing with Lord Lumley, a young gentleman you’d personally vetted as an acceptable candidate for her. He had a good head on his shoulders, a respectable fortune, and an admirably low tolerance for nonsense. A solid choice for someone as bright and charming as your little sister.

And yet, as you stood there, smiling politely at the unfolding spectacle, another gentleman approached.

“Lady Danbury,” he greeted with a deep bow. “A pleasure to see you here. Might I trouble you for an introduction?”

Lady Danbury, being the social conductor that she is, didn’t miss a beat. “Ah, Mister Thomas Dorset, how delightful to see you as well. Allow me to introduce Miss Everlyn Sheffield, our diamond of the season, and her sister, Miss Katherine Sheffield.”

You and Eve inclined your heads politely, a well-practiced smile on your lips. “Sir Dorset, it's a pleasure to meet you but I do have to apologize, my sister is already with an escort for the afternoon.”

He returned the gesture, but his attention lingered with interest. “That is very well,” he began, “Though I was hoping it is you I speak to, Miss Katherine.”

Everlyn’s head snapped to you so fast you thought it might dislodge from her own body. Lady Danbury raised her brows in delight, her expression practically screaming, “Well, isn’t this interesting?”

You blinked, momentarily caught off guard. “Oh,” you managed, glancing at them. Eve and Lady Danbury, wiggled their brows at you in unison, their teasing smiles unmistakable.

A chuckle bubbled up before you could help it, and you shook your head. “Well, then,” you said lightly, “how could I possibly refuse after such a request?”

With that, Sir Dorset offered his arm, and you took it, the two of you strolling past the lively crowd.

“So, Miss Katherine,” Sir Dorset began the conversation, “Lady Danbury mentioned you’re from Ireland. I had the pleasure of visiting some years ago. Such a beautiful country. Do you miss it?”

Your smile softened as memories of home appeared on your mind. “Oh every moment of the day,” you admitted.

Your eyes randomly darted to the other side where you caught Atticus staring at you. You squinted your eyes, internally groaning while he just gave you a faux smile and nodded at you in acknowledgement which of course you did not return.

You only turned your attention back to the man you're conversing with, suggesting that you two should find your seats to which he gladly agreed.

You sat in the shaded pavilion alongside Everlyn, Dorset, and Lumley, exchanging light conversations while waiting for the race that is about to start in a few minutes. It was a pleasant scene until an unwanted presence disturbed your group, the Viscount.

“Ah, I see I’m in good company,” Atticus declared as he approached, you noted with annoyance that his gaze lingered on Everlyn just a little too long.

Dorset and Lumley rose politely, each introducing themselves briefly. Atticus responded kindly, “Atticus Bridgerton,” he said with a smile that is undeniably charming but for some reason, does nothing but piss you off.

With a glance at the table, he added, “Ladies, I couldn’t help but notice you don’t have lemonades. On a day this warm, that seems like a grievous oversight.”

Lumley’s face lit up. “Quite right! I’ll fetch some immediately. We wouldn’t want the ladies to suffer in this heat.” He gave a quick bow and dashed off before anyone could object, leaving an opening that Atticus wasted no time in taking advantage of.

Sliding into the vacated seat between you and Everlyn, he turned his attention to her, his voice lowering to a murmur. “I must say, the odds for this race have me quite intrigued. Have you placed a bet, Miss Everlyn?”

Everlyn smiled as she responded, “I haven’t, though I am curious. Which horse have you chosen, my lord?”

“The Nectar,” Atticus replied confidently, leaning back as though the matter was already settled. “Strong, agile, and consistent. A clear choice for victory.”

You snorted before you could stop yourself. “The Nectar? A clear choice? That’s an interesting way to describe a horse that struggles in this kind of heat.”

His head turned sharply toward you, his brows arching in disbelief. “Struggles? The Nectar is the finest horse in the field, its record speaks for itself.”

“Yes, when the weather is cooler,” you shot back. “Today’s temperature is far from ideal for a horse with a heavier build. High Flyer, on the other hand, is lighter, faster, and has performed exceptionally well in similar conditions.”

Atticus chuckled, though there was no real humor in it. “High Flyer? That over-eager sprinter? It’ll burn itself out before the halfway mark.”

“And The Nectar will be panting by the first turn,” you retorted, sitting up straighter. “High Flyer is built for endurance, not just speed.”

The two of you leaned closer, your voices overlapping as you threw statistics, race histories, and breeding details back and forth with increasing tension.

“It’s not just about build, Miss Katherine. Training plays an equally significant role, and The Nectar—”

“—hasn’t seen a victory on a track this length in months, my lord. Meanwhile, High Flyer—”

“—is a gamble, an unproven risk—”

“—is the only sensible choice under today’s circumstances!”

Everlyn looked between the two of you with wide eyes, her lips twitching as though suppressing a laugh while witnessing the verbal sparring match. Sir Dorset on the other hand has his head tilted, observing a particularly entertaining duel.

Finally, your sister raised a hand, her voice putting a stop to your bickering. “My lord, Kate, perhaps we’ll let the race decide who’s right? There’s no need to wage a second war before the horses have even left the gates.”

You leaned back with a huff, crossing your arms but unable to hide the spark of satisfaction in your eyes. “Very well. We’ll see soon enough.”

Atticus, for his part, gave you a tight smile, his jaw ticking as though he’d just tasted something sour. “Indeed, we will.”

As the starting trumpet blared in the distance, signaling the riders to their positions.

The sound of galloping hooves echoed across the track as the race began, and the crowd erupted into cheers. You found yourself standing, along with everyone else, yelling encouragement for High Flyer at the top of your lungs.

Beside you, Atticus was equally invested, his shouts for The Nectar adding to the din. The two of you were so close to the point that an elbow nudge could send one of you tumbling over.

Everlyn on the side leaned back to glance nervously at Thomas who was on the other end beside you. “Should we separate them?” Thomas leaned back too, speaking just loudly enough for Eve to hear over the noise.

Everlyn sighed, shaking her head. “I don’t think we can interfere at this time.”

On the track, The Nectar was pulling ahead, leading the race by a comfortable margin, while High Flyer followed closely. You clenched your fists, leaning forward, and then you couldn’t help it any longer, you whistled sharply, shouting, “Come on, High Flyer! Let’s go!”

Atticus froze mid-cheer, his head snapping toward you, the words baffled and appalled clearly written on his expression. You could almost hear him mouth “What the hell?”

But for some reason, it's like a response to your enthusiasm, High Flyer accelerated. The crowd grew louder, and in a stunning final stretch, High Flyer surged past The Nectar, crossing the finish line first.

You turned triumphantly toward Atticus, a smirk spreading across your face before sticking your tongue out childishly. “Hah, I told you so!”

Atticus only rolled his eyes at you with so much attitude before Eve spoke up, pointing at the horse, “Kate, the Nectar does look like the horse we had when we were younger, doesn’t it?”

Atticus, recovering from the shock of defeat, offered her a charming smile and his arm. “Perhaps you’d like to see him up close, Miss Everlyn? I’d be delighted to accompany you.”

Everlyn eagerly took his arm, and you glared daggers into his back. Your victory over him is now marred by his continued efforts to charm your sister.

Left behind in the stands, Thomas turned to you and asked curiously. “You seem particularly irritated by Bridgerton. May I ask why?”

You huffed, folding your arms. “If he’s truly serious about my sister, he won’t back down just because of me.”

Thomas chuckled softly, shaking his head. “The viscount does not like to lose a challenge. He’s never stomached it since we were at Oxford.”

You froze, narrowing your eyes at him. “I thought you two just met today.”

Thomas visibly hesitated, his calm demeanor faltering as he tried to backtrack. “Well, I—what I meant was that we’re acquainted through… mutual circles.”

The pieces clicked in your mind. “He used you,” you said, your tone sharp. “He used you to distract me.”

Thomas’ eyes softened. “While that might be true, I assure you my interest in you today is genuine—”

But you weren’t buying it anymore. Without another word, you turned on your heel and marched toward Everlyn and Atticus, who were still chatting by the edge of the track.

“Muirín,” you firmly called to your sister. “We are leaving.”

Atticus raised his brow and scoffed as he turned to face you. “I’ve heard of a sore loser, Miss Sheffield, but never a sore winner.”

You met his gaze with a cold, serious expression. “Do not speak to me or my sister ever again.”

Everlyn blinked in confusion, looking between the two of you. “What’s going on?”

You quickly explained the situation, your voice laced with anger. Everlyn’s face fell as she turned toward Atticus, her disappointment clear. Without another word, she stepped away from him and followed you out of the bleachers, leaving the viscount standing there, looking defeated.

The clash of swords echoed through the open field. Atticus skillfully parried a lunge from Benjamin, his expression a mixture of focus and frustration. Caleb leaned casually on the bench nearby, smirking while observing the match.

Atticus' words cut through the rhythm of their fencing out of nowhere. “She is pompous and arrogant, and quite sure she knows best in every situation.”

Benjamin sidestepped gracefully, raising a brow. “Miss Katherine? She sounds like you.” He said in an obviously sarcastic tone.

Atticus glared at him briefly. “Less talking, more fencing, brother.”

They exchanged blows, swords clinking with precision. Atticus stepped forward, pressing his advantage. “Do you know why I win every time?”

From the bench, Caleb chuckled, folding his arms. “Because every time you lose, you claim we cheated.”

“You should've stayed in Greece instead of coming back here, Caleb.” He sidestepped Benjamin’s strike and launched into his explanation. “Because I know my duties. What my purposes are, and how to obtain them. Which I will do when I make Miss Everlyn my Viscountess. Miss Everlyn and I are well-suited. She’s a lovely young lady. She wishes for children. To make a perfectly agreeable wife.”

Caleb raised a brow, unable to resist the chance to jab at his older brother. “Perhaps your life might be easier if you pursued someone with a less disagreeable sister.”

Atticus’ movements grew sharper, his irritation becoming more evident. “But why should I be the one to admit defeat?! Regardless of which young lady I had chosen to pursue, there would have always been some obstinate father or meddlesome aunt in the picture. I shall certainly not let some sister keep me from getting what it is I want.”

Benjamin smirked, seeing an opening. “Who you want, you mean?” He jabbed Atticus on the side with a swift, precise move, causing his brother to stumble back slightly.

Benjamin lowered his sword, smiling victoriously. “Match point.”

Caleb laughed from the bench. “Is this still a friendly match, or do we need to find some armor?”

Atticus’ expression darkened as he removed his mask, clearly displeased. “Perhaps next time, I’ll find worthier opponents.”

But neither Benjamin nor Caleb took his grumbling seriously, only looking at each other with knowing glances as they leaned back and prepared for more of their brother's frustrated musings over you.

Lady Danbury has decided to invite every interested gentleman to her home to show off their desirability to the diamond of the season, your sister. So now here you are, in the drawing room filled with subdued chatter as gentlemen showcased their talents one by one, each performance more strange than the last. One man attempted an operatic aria that cracked on the high notes, while another displayed his questionable skill of balancing a teacup on his forehead. You bit back a smile, trying to maintain composure as Lady Danbury observed the proceedings with a sharp-eyed amusement.

A quiet chuckle from your side drew your attention. Turning slightly, you noticed a young lady suppressing her laughter, her hand covering her mouth.

“You too?” you whispered, raising an eyebrow.

The girl grinned. “How could I not? This is absurd, isn’t it?”

You let out a soft laugh, careful not to draw attention. “If it weren’t so ridiculous, it might even be entertaining. All this pomp just to woo a lady for her beauty, as though her heart or mind is of no importance.”

The girl tilted her head, her amusement deepening. “Finally, someone who gets it. Society really has its priorities upside down.”

Intrigued, you asked, “You seem far too sensible for this circus. May I know your name?”

“Elisa,” she said with a warm smile, then hesitated before adding, “Elisa Bridgerton.”

Your eyebrows lifted in surprise. “Ah. The viscount’s sister.”

Elisa made a face of disgust. “Please, don’t hold that against me. I promise you I’m nothing like him.”

Her assurance made you smile. She is indeed far from how Atticus is like. “You’ll find no judgment from me. If anything, I could write volumes about your brother’s arrogance.”

Elisa’s eyes lit up with merriment. “Please do. I’d happily contribute.”

The two of you laughed quietly, your shared disdain forming a quick bond. But your conversation was interrupted as Lady Danbury began to address the room, signaling the end of the evening.

But before she could conclude, the doors to the drawing room swung open dramatically. All heads turned as Viscount Atticus Bridgerton strolled in.

You narrowed your eyes. Of course, he’d arrive late, making a spectacle of himself. Typical.

“My lord,” you said sharply, your voice low enough not to disrupt Lady Danbury but firm enough to make your point. “You’re late. The evening is concluding.”

Effectively ignoring you, Atticus smiled and stepped forward. “My apologies, but I couldn’t miss the opportunity to share something with Miss Everlyn.” He paused, looking directly at Eve. “An original poem, if she would do me the honor of hearing it.”

Eve looked at you, her eyes twinkling before she smiled and nodded. “Of course, my lord.”

You opened your mouth to interject, but Lady Danbury, clearly entertained by the drama, stepped aside, allowing Atticus to take center stage.

He began reading from a small piece of paper, his tone flat and hesitant, lacking any real passion. A few lines in, he stopped abruptly, crumpling the paper in his hand.

“I cannot do this,” he said, his voice louder now, drawing the full attention of the room. “I cannot claim these words as my own. They belong to another. And truth be told, I am not a man of poetry.”

A hush fell over the room as Atticus addressed Eve directly. “Words of flattery are beautiful and sweet, but they are also hollow unless accompanied by action. Miss Everlyn, I could stand here and pretend to be someone I am not, to want the same things as you, but that would be a lie. I may not offer you the passionate displays you deserve, but I assure you, when it comes to action and duty, I will never be found lacking. I hope that will speak louder than any pretty words ever could.”

With that, he gave a slight bow and walked off to a distance. The room is in stunned silence. A soft, hesitant applause broke out, and you noticed Eve watching him with an expression you didn’t like. One of awe.

As she stood, clearly intent on following him, you stepped in her path to block her. “Muirín, you heard him. He cannot give you the love you deserve.”

Eve turned to you, her eyes stubborn and decided. “Does that make him a bad man or an honest one?”

You hesitated, searching for a response, but she cut you off. “Honesty is the mark of a true gentleman, Kate. Just as Father used to say.”

Before you could speak, she stepped around you and followed Atticus to the refreshments table. You stood frozen, a mix of frustration and worry churning inside you. How could she be so blind to what you saw so clearly?

You stood at a distance, your arms crossed tightly as you watched them conversing. There was something in his posture, perhaps an unusual ease, and in the way Eve smiled at him, her soft laughter drifting toward you. It made your stomach twist, though you couldn’t quite understand why.

And then, he glanced your way. Just for a moment, his eyes softened, and that unfamiliar feeling, the one that had been gnawing at the edges of your resolve ever since you met him, had bubbled up in your chest. It climbed higher, constricting your breath until you felt as though you were drowning.

It was unbearable. You turned sharply, your heels clicking against the polished floor, desperate to escape the suffocating swirl of emotions. In your haste, you didn’t notice the footman coming your way until it was too late.

You collided loudly with his tray, the clatter of silverware and dishes echoing through the drawing room. Gasps filled the air, and a mortified flush crept up your neck as the footman scrambled to gather the fallen items.

Everyone’s eyes followed you as you strode away, too embarrassed and overwhelmed to offer an apology.

You didn’t stop until you were out of sight, your chest heaving as you leaned against a cool wall for support. Back in the drawing room, Violet and Lady Danbury exchanged a knowing look. It was too obvious for them.

Dorothea entered the drawing room of Aubrey Hall, surprising everyone. Violet rose immediately, concern etched across her face but the smile on her lips tells another story.

“Dorothea, my dear, are you well? You gave birth to Bernadeth only a month ago. Should you be up and about already?”

Dorothea smiled warmly, easing her mother’s worry. “I am perfectly fine, Mama. I would not miss the family tradition for the world.”

She made her way to the sofa and settled gracefully across from Atticus, who had been lounging with a glass of wine in hand. The rest of the siblings exchanged subtle glances, already intrigued by the conversation to come.

“Enjoying your brief respite from the ferocious pack of mamas, brother?” Dorothea teased curiously.

Atticus sighed, swirling his glass. “Quite the opposite, sister. In fact, I have invited one young lady and her family to join us today.”

Dorothea’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “Atticus has invited a lady to Aubrey Hall? My word!” She leaned forward with a grin. “Well, I cannot wait to meet the woman who has captured you. Tell me, what is she like?”

Atticus straightened formally as if he's about to rehearse a speech. “Miss Everlyn is the picture of grace, beauty, and charm.”

Dorothea raised an impressed brow but remained silent, sensing there was more to come.

“Unfortunately, she has the most annoying older sister who has styled herself as something of a gatekeeper.” His tone grew more exasperated. “I’m afraid I must enlist you all to help me win over both sisters if I am to secure my bride.”

Dorothea’s gaze flicked to their other siblings, each giving her knowing looks. The silent communication was clear: this back-and-forth between Atticus and Everlyn’s sister had been going on for some time.

“And now you appeal for help?” Dorothea’s smile turned sly. “My, you must be smitten with Miss Everlyn.”

Atticus narrowed his eyes at her teasing tone. “I simply know when the odds are stacked against me.”

Dorothea leaned back, “Well since you were such a help to me in finding the love of my life, who just so happens to be your best friend, it would only be fair of me to return the favor.”

Atticus regarded her warily. “Is that a promise or a threat?”

Dorothea shrugged, her smile playful. “You’ll just have to wait and see.”

The carriage you are in arrived at Aubrey Hall with Lady Danbury exiting first, greeting the Bridgertons who are waiting. Atticus just invited your sister and the family to spend days in their home as a part of his courtship to Eve. You stepped out after, your eyes immediately drawn to the beautiful estate covered in vines of purple heathers. A small smile tugged at your lips as you admired the breathtaking scene.

Unbeknownst to you, Atticus caught sight of your smile from where he stood with his family, his own lips twitching into an unconscious grin. Instead of joining the rest of the introductions centered around Everlyn, he made his way to you.

“Ah,” he remarked as he approached, “you’re smiling. I see my plan to win you over is already working.”

You turned to him, your smile fading into a wry expression. “I am smiling because of the view.”

A footman approached, holding a small corgi in his arms. “Miss Sheffield, your dog.”

“Thank you,” you said, taking Newton’s leash with a soft pat on the dog’s head.

Atticus raised an amused brow. “Oh, you brought your dog?”

“Yes.” You glanced pointedly at him. “Newton is an excellent judge of character.”

With a hint of determination, Atticus crouched to greet Newton, only for the corgi to bark loudly at him, the sharp sound echoing in the air.

You shrugged with mock innocence. “See?”

Standing back up, Atticus smirked. “Mark my words, Miss Sheffield. By the end of your stay, your opinion of me will be much improved.”

“I did not think you were such an optimist,” you replied, folding your arms as Newton sat obediently at your feet.

Before he could reply, a melodic voice cut in. “And you must be Miss Everlyn.”

Dorothea stepped into the scene excitedly as she gave you a hug.

Atticus glanced at you. “No. This is her sister, Miss Katherine Sheffield.”

“Oh, forgive me, Miss Katherine,” Dorothea said politely as she stepped back.

You tilted your head slightly. “I am entirely flattered, Your Grace. Allow me to introduce my sister, Miss Everlyn,” you added, raising your voice slightly to catch Eve’s attention.

Eve approached swiftly, bowing slightly. “Your Grace, it is an honour.”

Atticus offered his arm to Everlyn, and she took it with a soft smile. “This is a beautiful home, my lord,” she said sincerely. “Thank you so much for inviting me. I very much look forward to spending time with you and your family.”

Atticus nodded graciously, his gaze momentarily flicking toward you as Violet stepped forward, ushering everyone inside.

Everyone gathered around outside for the very own traditional Bridgerton family game of pall-mall. Dorothea took center to explain the rules to the guests who are not used to this game. You and your sister.

Thea clasped her hands together. “Now, pall-mall is a game of skill, strategy... and just the right amount of chaos. The rules are quite simple. You may use your turn to try and get your ball through the wicket or,” her grin turned mischievous, “you may use your turn to knock another player’s ball as far away as possible, preferably into the hedges or, even better, the pond. In that way, the player cannot retrieve their ball and would have to quit.”

You couldn’t help but grin at the thought, your mind already spinning with possibilities. “That sounds delightfully devious,” you said, your eyes sparkling.

Dorothea chuckled, sharing your enthusiasm. “It is. Infuriating your opponents is practically tradition.”

Everlyn, on the other hand, appeared less than amused. “Isn’t that rather... unsportsmanlike?”

“It’s the point of the game,” Dorothea said with a wink, clearly unbothered by Everlyn’s disapproval. “Shall we proceed to the picking of the mallets?”

The group shuffled over to the mallet stand. All of the Bridgerton siblings were present except little Heather, who was too young to play. Elisa immediately began bickering with Atticus over who should have first pick.

“You promised you'd let me pick first this time!” Elisa declared, holding her ground.

Atticus raised an eyebrow. “I don't recall saying such thing.”

Before their argument could escalate, Dorothea intervened. “Now, now. Let’s be civilized for once. The guests will pick first. And they will have the honor of the first strike.”

Eve stepped forward and carefully selected the light blue mallet. She examined it with a satisfied nod before retreating to her spot.

You, however, wasted no time in striding forward and grabbing a sleek black mallet with silver linings making Elisa gasp dramatically.

“The mallet of death!” she exclaimed, pointing at you. Caleb doubled over with laughter.

“Wouldn’t you look at that, brother,” Caleb said, slapping Atticus on the back while still laughing. “She’s claimed it.”

You glanced at Atticus, holding the mallet with an arrogant smirk. “Is this yours?”

“Not at all. Feel free to use it,” Atticus replied smoothly, though his tone betrayed a hint of reluctance.

Benjamin leaned in with mock betrayal. “You threatened to beat me the last time I even touched that mallet.”

Atticus glared at his younger brother. “You exaggerate.”

With a teasing tilt of your head, you asked, “Are you the superstitious kind, my lord? The type who cannot perform without their familiar tool? Like a child without their blanket?”

The Bridgerton siblings erupted into laughter, a chorus of teasing “oohs” echoing around you. Elisa elbowed Dorothea and whispered, “I knew I like her.” This made Dorothea smirk as she responded, “So do I.”

The game began. Balls flew across the field, players shouted and strategized, and laughter filled the air. You quickly proved your competitive spirit, hollering whenever you landed a shot and throwing playful taunts when you knocked an opponent’s ball astray. Your sister, however, looked increasingly out of place. Her movements were stiff, and her expressions showed her discomfort as the game devolved into a mayhem.

Eventually, Everlyn excused herself from the game, retreating to the refreshment tent where the mothers and Lady Danbury were seated along with little Heather. You, on the other hand, were thriving, finding yourself at ease with the Bridgertons’ spirited antics.

Then disaster struck, or rather, a twist of fate. Both your ball and Atticus’ were sent flying out of bounds, far into the nearby forest.

“Well,” you said, determined. “I’m not giving up that easily.”

“Nor am I,” Atticus replied with a grin. “Shall we retrieve them?”

The two of you ventured past the edge of the field, into the trees. The forest air was cooler, the ground soft beneath your shoes. You bickered, as expected, debating whose ball had gone farther and who should retrieve theirs first. It wasn’t long before you found the culprit—a patch of mud where both balls had landed, half-submerged.

“Wonderful,” you muttered.

Atticus crossed his arms. “Are you giving up?”

“Not a chance.”

With a determined glint in your eyes, you stepped forward, sinking your heel into the mud, and Atticus followed. You both crouched, attempting to free your balls, only to end up covered in mud as you stubbornly pushed them loose using the mallet.

When the balls finally rolled free and you were about to follow Atticus as he walked away from the muddy puddle, your foot feels as if it's stuck. You tried to pull it free, you wobbled, to no avail. Atticus looked back, noticing how you're grunting and instinctively reached out to pull you out. Except his grip caused him to lose his balance as well, making the two of you tumble into the mud, laughing helplessly.

Lying in the mud, you both caught your breath, the laughter faded, and a rare sincerity hung between you.

“What must I do to win your approval?” Atticus asked quietly.

You glanced at him, surprised. “My approval?”

“Yes,” he said, his voice serious now. “For your sister. You want her to have a love match, to be happy. Surely you understand a love match is almost impossible, but I can offer her a stable and safe life.”

You sighed, considering his words. “I only want Eve to be with someone who will truly love her. You have sisters that I'm certain you'd also want to be with someone they love. Surely you understand my side.”

For once, Atticus nodded without retort. He offered you his hand, “Truce?”

“Truce,” you agreed, shaking his muddy hand.

But just as the moment settled, his gaze shifted, his expression darkening as he stared toward a particular spot behind a tree. Without a word, he stood and walked away, leaving you puzzled.

Instead of following him, you went to where he was staring, weaving through the trees until you reached the place that had caught his attention. It was a small clearing, marked by a simple bench beneath the shade of a tree. And there, nestled in the grass, was a gravestone.

The inscription was clear: Ethan Bridgerton, The 8th Viscount. Beloved Husband and Father.

Your breath caught as you realize. His father's grave. For the first time, you saw a different side of Atticus, a man who is probably still weighed down by grief.

The next morning you had decided to wander early outside. You hadn’t expected to find anyone else wandering as early as you, least of all Atticus, who stood among the flowers. He looks soft, and calm, which is entirely out of character.

“Miss Sheffield,” he greeted without turning, his voice laced with mild surprise, though he didn’t sound displeased.

“Lord Bridgerton,” You replied stiffly, stopping a few feet away from him.

Atticus turned to face you, his expression neutral. “And how is your sister this morning? I trust she’s well-rested after retiring early from the game.”

“She’s feeling unwell. That’s why she’s stayed in bed.”

“Unwell?” A flicker of concern crossed his features. “Is it serious?”

“No,” your tone came out sharper than intended. “She just needs rest. Which, I suppose, is a blessing, as it gives me the opportunity to ask what exactly you’re doing.”

Atticus arched a brow, clearly unimpressed. “What I’m doing?”

“Yes,” You stepped closer, eyes narrowing. “You claim to be courting my sister, yet all I’ve seen is you playing games. You haven’t even proposed. What exactly are your intentions, Lord Bridgerton? Or are you simply toying with her?”

Atticus stiffened, his expression cooling. “Toying with her? That’s a rather bold accusation, Miss Sheffield.”

“Is it?” You challenged, her chin tilting defiantly. “You can’t expect me to believe you’re sincere when you haven’t taken a single meaningful step toward securing her future. My sister deserves better than half-measures and vague affections.”

“I beg your pardon,” Atticus shot back, his voice rising, “but I don’t recall appointing you as the judge of my courtship.”

“Well, someone has to hold you accountable,” you retorted. “You can’t just waltz into her life with your charm and your title and expect that to be enough.”

“Perhaps you should consider that your sister doesn’t need you meddling in her affairs,” he snapped.

“Oh so now you're acting as if you know my sister better than me?!” You fired back.

“You seem awfully invested in this for someone who claims to dislike me,” Atticus said, his tone biting.

“I dislike you because you give me every reason to!” You exclaimed frustratedly.

“The only feeling you are in fact capable of, my lord,” you added, voice rising with every word, “is that of discontentment. You are impossible to please, impossible to reason with, and frankly—”

Your words faltered as Atticus’ eyes widened in horror. His gaze was now fixed on your shoulder, and before you could ask him what is wrong, his hands gripped your arms firmly.

“Stand still. Damn it, Kate, stand still!” His voice was low and urgent, laced with a panic you had never heard from him before.

“What on earth are you—” You decided to follow his gaze, looking down at your shoulder only to find a bee.

Obviously your first instinct was to brush it away, your hand lifting instinctively, but Atticus’ fingers wrapped around your wrist tightly, stopping you mid-motion.

“No!” he exclaimed, his tone very desperate. “Do not move! Leave it—just leave it.”

His voice trembled while his grip tightened on your wrist as though his life depended on it. For a moment, you were stunned, your breath caught in your throat, not understanding the reason for the intensity of his reaction.

“It is just a bee,” you calmly said, tilting your head slightly, but his grip only tightened further.

“Do not move, Kate,” he snapped, his voice cracking because of something you couldn’t name. His entire demeanor had shifted; the usual confidence and sharpness in his eyes from the former argument were gone, replaced by pure fear.

“It will sting me if I—”

Before you could finish your sentence while trying to free yourself from Atticus’ grip, the bee flew directly to the skin of your neck stung you. You let out a wince, your hand flying to the spot. “Ow! It’s only a sting!”

But his reaction was far from composed. His face became white as a sheet of paper, all drained of color. He stepped forward, his hands coming to your shoulders as if to keep you steady. His breathing was shallow, eyes frantically darting from your neck to your face.

“Are you hurt?” he demanded, his voice rising. “Can you breathe?”

“Of course I can breathe,” you replied, bewildered by his reaction. “It’s only a bee sting, my lord.”

“Are you certain?” His words came faster now, his hands trembling slightly as they hold you so close to him. “No, no, breathe. Breathe with me, don't pass out. Don’t—”

You frowned, noticing the way his chest heaved, the way his gaze seemed unfocused, as though he were trapped in a memory far more terrible than the present moment.

“Atticus,” you called out softly, trying to snap him out of his panicked state. You held his hand gently and guided it to your chest. “I am unharmed.”

“Breathe with me,” you continued to instruct him, your voice calm and soothing. You squeezed his hand that was on your chest, “Feel my heartbeat? I’m fine. It was just a bee.”

He stared right into your eyes, his lips parting to attempt to argue with you, but your touch, oh your touch did nothing but tether him down. All the words to argue with you dying down on his throat. Slowly, he exhaled, mirroring your deep, measured breaths. Your foreheads touched as you murmured softly, counting your breaths together.

“That’s it,” you whispered. “Breathe with me, Atticus. It’s over. I’m fine. See? Nothing happened.”

His forehead rested against yours, your faces so close while his body trembled slightly as the image of his father’s death on his mind began to fade. It was a fleeting moment, but it lingered, suspended in the air between them.

Atticus suddenly realized how close you two are, his hand wrapped around your waist to keep you pressed against him while his other hand on the softness of your bosom.

He quickly pulled away, “This was a mistake,” he muttered, his voice strained. Without another word, he turned on his heel and strode away.

You stood there, your heart pounding in your chest. You tried to make sense of what had just transpired, but you couldn't put the pieces together. You were just as confused as him when he suddenly realized the position you two are in. You mentally slapped and asked yourself what on earth was that. And why was he so panicked about a bee sting like you'd die from it.

Ever since that happened, you and Atticus avoided each other like the plague. Your mind has been flooded non stop, day and night, by the thoughts of Atticus.

The voice of your sister snapped you out of your daze and brought you back to the present where you're standing in the corner of the ballroom while most people are dancing on the dance floor. “Kate,” your younger sister suddenly appeared at your side, her cheeks rosy with excitement. “You should dance with Lord Bridgerton.”

You almost choked at your own saliva at her morbid suggestion, your face contorted in a startled expression. “What? Why in great heavens would I do that?”

“Because,” Eve said softly, she has this hint of hope in her eyes. “I think he’ll propose soon. And when he does, he’ll need your blessing. A dance would be the perfect opportunity for you two to talk.”

Propose? PROPOSE?! Your mind went into havoc as you hesitated, heart thudding uncomfortably in your chest. “Eve, I don’t think—”

But before you could protest further, Atticus appeared and Eve eagerly pulled him, giving you an encouraging nod. “My lord, you should dance with Kate,” she suggested cheerfully. Atticus was about to open his mouth to refuse but seeing the excited smile on Eve’s face made him guilty. So he approached you ith purpose, bowing slightly and extending his hand.

“Miss Katherine,” he said, though you can't help but notice how his gaze lingered on yours a moment too long. “May I have this dance?”

You have no choice but to nod, barely able to breathe as you allow him to lead you onto the floor. The music shifted into a softer, slower rhythm as he took your hand in his and rested his other lightly on your waist. His hold makes your skin burn but also comforts you.

His gaze was locked on you, dark and intense, but his expression was unreadable. You took a deep breath, determined to break the heavy silence between you.

"Do you have something you wish to ask me, my Lord, regarding my sister?" you asked in a calm tone, only hoping that Atticus won't feel how your heart beats so hard on your chest you can almost feel it leap out.

He stiffened for a moment before relaxing again. "If I were to ask for her hand, would you give me your permission?"

The question struck you like lightning. Nothing could have prepared you for this day to come. You held his gaze, trying so hard to remain composed, but your throat tightened at what his words implied.

"I want to make my sister happy," you said, your voice soft but firm.

"Do you think I can make her happy?" he asked.

It was not the question you expected, it pierced through your defenses. You think hard of your next words, and opted out to answer his question with another question. "That is a better question for you. Can you make her happy?"

He was silent. His lips parted slightly in an attempt to speak, but no words came. "If your silence is any indication," you said, bitterness creeping into your tone, "you are reconsidering your declaration—"

"Does that mean you want me to reconsider?" he interrupted, eyes searching yours as he pulled you closer, your bodies flushed against each other now.

Your mind raced with thoughts, breathing heavily now as the question struck deeper than you expected, twisting in places you did not know could ache such as your stomach. The nervousness and pain is so intense you feel like you're about to throw up.

Compose yourself, Kate. You tell yourself. "It does not matter what I want,"

"I do not think that is true," he said. You drew a slow breath, straightening your spine as you're about to break the news to him. "I am to return to Ireland the moment my sister marries."

His furrowed brows are enough to tell you he didn't like what he heard. "You will abandon her?"

"Far from it, my Lord," you said quietly. "She will be fine. She will not need me. There will be no more reason for me to stay. It was the plan all along."

Something in his expression shifted. The hurt in his eyes was brief but searing before he turned away abruptly. His hand left yours, the absence of his warmth startling.

He walked off without another word, leaving you standing on the dance floor, breathless and aching in ways you could not explain.

From the corner of your eye, you saw Eve approach, her face etched with concern. "What happened?" she asked, her voice laced with confusion.

You shook your head, "I don’t know," you murmured. "Stay here. I’ll go after him." With that, you turned, your steps swift and determined as you followed after him, your heart pounding with an urgency that you could not ignore.

You stepped inside his room, shutting the door behind you with a forceful click. Atticus paced back and forth, his frustration evident in every sharp movement, his hand running through his disheveled hair. His expression was a storm, and the sight of him like this only stoked the fire simmering in your chest.

"Why are you so in distress?!" you demanded, your voice sharp enough to cut through his agitated silence.

He stopped, spinning to face you, his eyes blazing. "You’re going back to Ireland for good? Right after your sister marries?"

"Yes!" you replied, exasperation creeping into your tone.

He took a step closer, his voice rising. "What about you? Do you not want to set yourself up with a match?"

"How is that any of your business?!" you shot back, your words laced with incredulity.

He closed the distance between you, his presence overwhelming. His frustration spilled over, his voice raw as he asked, "Why do you hate me so much, Kate? What have I done to deserve this constant hostility?"

Your breath caught, your heart pounding in your chest. "Because!" you retorted, your voice trembling, "You don’t know what you do to me!"

The room fell into a charged silence. His jaw tightened, his gaze boring into yours, his voice dropping to a dangerous whisper. "And what about you?" he asked, stepping closer, his eyes dark and unreadable. "You also do not know what you do to me."

Your breath hitched as his face was suddenly inches from yours, his intensity stealing the air from the room. You froze as his forehead brushed against yours, the intimacy of the moment leaving you weak.

"What... what are you doing?" you managed to ask, your voice barely a whisper.

His hands found your waist, firm and unyielding as he pulled you flush against him. His breath ghosted against your ear as he spoke, his voice a low, tempting murmur. "Say you do not care for me," he whispered, each word slow and deliberate, "Tell me you feel nothing, and I will walk away."

Your eyes fluttered closed, his words destroying every ounce of resistance you had left. You opened your mouth to protest, to say something, but nothing came. The truth clung to you like a vice, unspoken and unbearable.

Just as the moment threatened to shatter the fragile barrier between you, the door burst open.

"Oh!" Dorothea's surprise yelp interrupted the haze, her eyes widening at the sight before her. She froze, her expression shifting from shock to immediate regret. "I—apologies," she stammered, stepping back quickly and disappearing just as fast as she had come.

The spell broke. Atticus released you abruptly, his hands falling to his sides as he turned to follow his sister without a word.

You stood there, your body still humming with the closeness, your mind reeling. The door clicked shut behind him, leaving you alone with nothing but the echo of his whispered words. It was too overwhelming that you have no way of denying it anymore, not even to yourself.

You love Atticus Bridgerton.

Dorothea heard her brother's hurried footsteps from behind but she did not bother to look back and spare him a glance. Instead, she poured herself a generous glass of whiskey, the amber liquid sloshed slightly as she brought it to her lips and took a long sip.

“Thea,” Atticus began, eager to explain the scene his sister just walked in on.

She set the glass down with a sharp clink. “Spare me the explanations, Atticus. I’ve seen enough.”

He exhaled sharply, stepping further into the room. “I wasn’t going to offer explanations, only to tell you that you’re mistaken.”

“Mistaken?” Dorothea’s laugh was short and humorless. She finally looked back to face him, her eyes sharp. “Atticus, you might be able to fool yourself, but you cannot fool me. I knew from the start. The way you watch her. The way you speak to her. And now, I’ve seen it with my own eyes. Tell me, brother, how long do you plan to deny the truth?”

“There is no truth to deny,” Atticus snapped, his jaw tight. “I have begun courting Everlyn, and I will honor that. It is my responsibility, my commitment.”

Dorothea raised her brows, unimpressed at his stubbornness. “Your responsibility? Your commitment?” She scoffed, shaking her head. “And what of your heart, Atticus? Where does that lie?”

“That doesn’t matter,” he said, his voice low, strained. “What matters is that I have made my intentions clear, and I will see them through. I will not disgrace Everlyn by turning back now.”

“Your heart always matters!” Dorothea shot back, her voice sharp with conviction. “You think sticking to a courtship you don’t believe in will do anyone any good? Let me tell you something, dear brother, this is exactly what happened to me. I convinced myself I should marry the Prince. He was perfect on paper. He had everything anyone could ever want. And yet... I couldn’t stop thinking about Sebastian. I couldn’t stay away from him. No matter how much I tried.”

“This is different,” Atticus protested, his voice faltering slightly.

“It isn’t,” Dorothea said firmly, stepping closer. “I fought it, too. I told myself it was just a passing feeling, that I could push it aside. But it doesn’t work that way, Atticus. Love doesn’t simply disappear because you will it to. It resurfaces, no matter how hard you try to bury it.”

Atticus swallowed hard, looking away. Her eyes softened, but her tone remained firm. “Do you think Everlyn won’t notice? She’s not blind, Atticus. No woman is. Sooner or later, she will see where your heart truly lies, and it will hurt her far more than if you admitted it now.”

“I cannot...” he began, his voice breaking slightly.

“You can,” Dorothea interrupted, her gaze unwavering. “You have to. Otherwise, this will end in heartbreak for all of you. For Everlyn, Kate, and yourself. Do something about it now. You owe it to all of you to face the truth, before it’s too late.”

He stared at her, his fists clenched at his sides, as though warring with himself. But Dorothea didn’t relent, her eyes locked on his, daring him to argue further.

“Think about it,” she said softly, lifting her glass again. “Because one way or another, this love of yours will find its way back. And when it does, it won’t wait for permission.”

Atticus turned, his shoulders rigid, and left the room without another word. But Dorothea knew her words had hit their mark. It was only a matter of time. And how she does hope that her words were actually enough to slap some sense to him.

It is the day where the Bridgertons bid you and the others farewell. The carriages were lined up, the horses stamping impatiently against the gravel. You stood beside your sister, “I am sorry things did not turn out as expected, muirín,” You softly said, voice filled with regret with the knowledge that you're the reason why your sister did not get the proposal from the viscount that she expected. You looked at your younger sister’s reassuring smile with tender eyes, guilt gnawing at your heart.

“It is not your fault, deirfiúr,” she replied in acceptance, but you can sense the obvious disappointment in her tone.

As she was about to step into the carriage with you behind her, the faint sound of hurried footsteps broke the stillness. You paused and turned around only to see Atticus running towards your direction. He looks determined and desperate.

“I need to speak with you,” he called out loud enough for everyone to hear. You turned fully facing him and responded, “Of course, my lord.”

But he brushed you off, “No, not you,” and came to a halt in front of you and your sister. Without a word, he dropped to one knee, his eyes fixed solely on Everlyn.

Gasps rippled from everyone as Atticus reached into his coat pocket, retrieving a small velvet box. His movements were quick, almost frantic as he spoke.

“Miss Everlyn, I... I know this is sudden, but I cannot allow another moment to pass without securing what I hope will be my future. Will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?”

The world seemed to blur and crash on you, leaving you suffocated. You told yourself to look away, to turn your back and let the moment pass, but your feet stayed rooted in place, forcing you to bear witness to the most gut wrenching and soul wrecking scene.

He knelt before her, the man who had filled your nights with restless thoughts and your days with stolen glances. The man who had whispered truths, showed you secrets and sides of him he dared not reveal to anyone else.

And now, he knelt for her. For your sister. Not for you, but for your sister.

Your heart twisted, aching in a way you hadn’t thought possible. Despite knowing this moment would come inevitably, nothing could have prepared you, nothing could have softened the blow.

You felt so betrayed, not from him, but from your own heart for daring to feel love for him, for daring to hope he'd finally be sure enough to choose you instead of your diamond sister.

And you have to accept this, because love, for all its beauty and all its pain, was not something you could claim. Not here. Not now. Not with him. Not in this life. Not ever.

With a bright smile, Eve nodded. “Yes,” she said softly, her voice barely above a whisper. “Yes, of course, my lord!”

Cheers erupted from the Bridgerton family, the sound of Violet’s delighted laughter mingling with Dorothea’s glare and disappointed hum. With one last murmur of, “What an idiot,” Dorothea immediately stormed back inside the house, not wanting to witness this sham of a proposal.

You watch as Eve extended her hand for Atticus to slip the ring on her finger. You forced a smile, though it did not reach your eyes.

You wanted nothing more than to scream, but when you saw how your sister was practically glowing with joy, you told yourself this was worth it. Your sacrifice is worth it.

It was the day of the wedding yet the disinterest is so evident around the house. Caleb and Benjamin sat slouched in their chairs, cheeks red and whispering jokes to one another, clearly under the influence of last night's brandy. Giovann, meanwhile, darted around the room like a mischievous sprite, holding a handkerchief just out of reach as ten-year-old Heather chased after him, shouting threats to smack him if he didn’t give it back.

“Giovann Bridgerton, enough of this nonsense!” Violet snapped, her tone sharper than usual as she smoothed her already perfect gown. “Heather, behave yourself, young lady. Goodness, why doesn’t anyone look ready for this wedding?”

Dorothea frowned while massaging her temples. “Maybe because no one actually likes this wedding.”

Elisa was sprawled beside her sister in the most unladylike manner imaginable, one leg crossed over the other and her arms resting on the back of the couch as if she owned the place. She leaned her head back to look at her mother upside down, while laughing loudly, “Thea’s right, Mother.”

Violet sighed heavily, her daughters weren’t wrong. Her instincts, as a mother, had never failed her before, and today they are screaming at her that something was amiss. This wasn’t how it was supposed to feel on her eldest son and first born’s wedding day.

The church was filled with the sound of the organ as entourages walked the carpet one by one. You stood at the altar, opposite to Atticus, your hands clasped neatly in front of you as you tried your best to appear composed. Your gaze remained forward, telling yourself not to glance at him.

As your sister finally walked down the aisle in a beautiful white dress, you couldn't help but smile genuinely, feeling happy for your sister, at the very least.

The archbishop began the ceremony after Eve reached the altar, facing her husband-to-be. But Atticus’ eyes kept on drifting away from his bride, unable to stay fixed on Everlyn for long. His gaze was constantly returning to you who's standing behind your sister as the maid of honor.

And when the archbishop asked Atticus to repeat after him, he didn’t respond, too focused on you to even hear anything. “Atticus,” the archbishop prompted gently but Atticus seemed lost, caught in a vision only he could see. To him, it wasn’t Everlyn standing before him. It was you. He imagined you as his bride, wearing the white dress, your hand in his, and the thought consumed him.

Everlyn tilted her head, her expression shifting into one of confusion and growing concern. She turned slightly, catching the direction of his gaze. Following it, her eyes landed on you. And then she saw it—the longing in both your eyes. It was as if the entire world fell silent except for the unspoken connection between you and Atticus, a connection neither of you could deny nor conceal in that moment.

“Atticus,” Everlyn said softly, trying to get him back to the present. “The archbishop said to repeat after him.”

Atticus finally snapped out of his trance, his mouth parting as if to apologize. “Oh,” he murmured, nodding quickly. The archbishop tried again, but no sooner had the words been spoken than Atticus found himself lost in your gaze once more.

You fidgeted nervously, your fingers toying with the bangle on your wrist. The anxiety twisting in your chest made it difficult to breathe. Suddenly, the bangle snapped, tumbling to the floor with a loud clink that echoed loudly through the church.

The noise jolted Atticus, and without hesitation, he stepped forward. The moment your hands met the ground, reaching for the broken piece, his hand brushed against yours. His touch lingered as he lifted the bangle.

“Allow me,” he said, his eyes locked with yours as he gently took your hand in his. Carefully, he clasped the bangle back onto your wrist, his fingers brushing against your skin in a way that sent your heart into a spiral. The world seemed to slow down and blur everyone else. You wanted to cry, and throw yourself into his arms. You wanted nothing more but to be the one standing in place of your sister, but you couldn’t. You could not afford this love.

The scene did not go unnoticed. Everlyn stood frozen, watching the two of you. Suddenly, every piece started to fall into places, the subtle touches, the yearning stares, the so-called hatred for each other that always made them argue like cats and dogs. Her chest tightened, and realization dawned on her like a storm. The disdain that you both hold for each other—it wasn’t hatred, but something deeper, something dangerous.

Her breath quickened, her chest heaving as her panic overtook her. “I need a moment!” Everlyn cried out, her voice high and trembling.

The gasp that rippled through the church was sharp and collective. Everlyn turned on her heel, lifting her skirts as she ran down the aisle, tears threatening to spill. Anne, her face pale with concern, followed swiftly, while you, panic-stricken and guilt-ridden, ran after your sister without hesitation.

The guests were left stunned. Dorothea’s glare was sharp enough to pierce through stone as she watched the entire event unfold. Her lips pressed into a thin line, her eyes flickering briefly toward Atticus, whose shoulders slumped down at how the wedding turned out.

Eve bolted into the dressing room, the door slamming shut behind her as she clutched at her chest, gasping for air between choked sobs. You and your mother followed closely, your heart pounding as you watched your sister crumble on what's supposed to be the happiest day for her.

“Breathe, Eve,” Anne said soothingly, kneeling beside her trembling daughter. “It is just nerves. We will call for tea, and once you have something in your stomach, you will be strong enough to go back out there.”

“It is not tea that I want!” Eve snapped, her voice breaking as she wiped her tear-streaked face with shaky hands. “What I want is the truth.”

Her gaze turned sharply toward you, and for the first time, your sister looked at you like you're the worst person in her life. At this point, you might actually be.

You were unable to speak, mouth opening and closing as tears welled in your eyes. “Oh, suddenly your words fail you, sister?” Eve’s voice dripped with bitterness.

Anne straightened, looking back and forth at you and Eve with confusion. “Eve, Kate, I am not sure what is going on—”

“I’d like to tell you what is going on, Mama,” Eve interrupted, her voice trembling as she turned to her mother before looking back at you with an accusatory glare. “After a lifetime of filling my head with nonsense, all this talk of great, gallant notions... You have feelings for him! All this time, you wanted him for yourself!”

Your breath hitched, and you shook your head frantically, your voice barely above a whisper. “No, that is not—”

“Oh, you cannot deny it now, Kate!” Eve’s voice rose, filled with anger and betrayal. Tears streamed down her face as she hiccuped through her sobs. “You lied to me, again and again. You told me! You told me we would never keep secrets from each other, but no!”

Your throat tightened, and your vision blurred with tears welling up in your eyes. “Eve—”

“You said you only wanted the best for me!” she yelled, her voice breaking into a more violent sob.

“And that is true, muirín!” you cried, your voice cracking because of your own guilt. “That is the reason why I hid this from you.”

Eve turned to fully face you, her chest heaving with ragged breaths. “Do you love him?” she demanded.

“What?” The word barely escaped your lips, your mind reeling from the question.

“Do you love him?!” Eve screamed, her voice shattering the room’s silence.

You stared at her, lips trembling as no answer came. The truth clawed at your throat, but the shame and pain of saying it aloud made you keep it trapped inside. Your silence was damning.

Eve slumped onto the nearby couch, burying her face in her hands as her sobs overtook her. Anne rushed to her side, wrapping her arms around her youngest daughter and offering whatever comfort she could.

Your mother’s gaze lifted to you, her expression tinged with sadness. “You’ve done enough for today, Kate. Go. Go anywhere else, but not here.”

Her words pierced through you like a dagger. Nodding silently, you turned and walked out of the room. You have no choice but to face the shame, guilt, and the possibility that you have ruined your bond with your sister for good.

You wandered aimlessly until you found yourself in an empty cellar room. Closing the door behind you, you leaned against it and slid down to the floor, you wrapped your arms around yourself, as the sobs you had held back finally broke free.

Atticus finally decided that he would need to talk to Eve after cooling off. He stepped inside the room, finding Eve seated on a chair, zoned out with tears silently rolling down her cheek.

“Eve,” he began carefully, “I want to reassure you. You are my choice. You have always been my choice. Nothing can change that.”

Eve raised her head slowly before standing up to face him, her gaze searching his eyes for the sincerity of his words. “Then why, Atticus?” she asked, her voice trembling. “Why do I feel as though... I am not the one you truly want?”

Atticus stepped closer, taking her hands in his. “Because this has been overwhelming for all of us. But you must understand, everything has already been set into motion. The Queen herself has endorsed this match, Eve. You’re her diamond. This union is not just a personal matter, it is a duty to both of our families and to society.”

Eve pulled her hands back, her expression conflicted. “And where does my sister stand in all this, Atticus?” Her voice grew firmer. “When we’re married, where does she belong?”

The question hung in the air as Atticus raked his mind for an answer. His jaw tightened, and he cleared his throat, “She is nothing but a thorn that we would need to remove from our blossoming lives. She is to go back to Ireland after we marry.”

Eve’s lips parted in shock, her face pale as if the words had physically struck her. “You would send her away? Alone? After everything she’s done for me—everything she’s sacrificed?”

“She has caused too much disruption, Eve,” Atticus replied sternly. “For our marriage to succeed, she cannot remain here. It’s the only way to ensure peace. It wouldn't be too hard since that was her plan all along, to get you married and leave to go back to Ireland.”

Eve’s hands trembled as she clutched the back of a nearby chair, her mind reeling. She couldn’t imagine abandoning you, her dearest sister, for the sake of a marriage. Sure angry is an understatement for what she's feeling right now but that doesn't mean she resents you to the point of completely cutting you off for good.

But the people's expectations, the eyes of the Queen, and the whispers of society who are already expectant of this match. The perfect match of a diamond and a viscount. What is she to do?

“I need time,” she finally said, her voice cracking. “Time to think this through. This isn’t something I can decide on a whim. And whatever I choose, Atticus, you will respect it.”

Atticus regarded her answer for a moment before nodding curtly. “Very well. I will patiently wait for your answer.” He said before turning around to leave the room.

The church was now empty and silent except for the faint echo of footsteps when you entered after a footman gave you a short letter sent by someone telling you to meet at the church, you were suspicious because it's already night but your feet somehow still brought you here. Moments later your gaze landed on Atticus who's standing by one of the pews. He turned at the sound of the footsteps, his expression mirroring your confusion.

“Why did you send for me?” you asked cautiously, stopping a few feet away from him.

“I didn’t send for you,” Atticus replied, furrowing his brows. “I assumed you sent for me.”

Your lips parted, but before either of you could say more, the sound of another approaching footsteps interrupted. You both turned to see Eve stepping into the church, her white dress trailing behind her.

“Eve,” you said softly, your heart lurching as her now composed face came into view. “What are you doing here?”

“I sent for you both,” Eve announced, her voice steady despite the tension hanging in the air. She walked toward you and Atticus, her hands clasped tightly in front of her. “Because I have made my decision.”

Eve turned her gaze to him, her chin lifted confidently at her final decision. “I cannot marry you, Atticus Bridgerton.”

Atticus stiffened for a moment before relaxing, giving her an understanding nod. He had already braced himself for when Eve decided on this, and she did.

“I simply refuse to betray myself,” Eve continued, “I will not marry into a loveless union, no matter how much society expects it of me. I owe it to myself to marry for love. And I know—” she paused, her voice softening, “—you will never look at me the way you look at Kate.”

You froze, your breath hitching as her words pierced through your already guilt filled stomach. “Eve…”

“No, Kate, please,” Eve interrupted, turning to you with a faint, bittersweet smile. “Let me finish.”

She took a deep breath, her gaze softening as she addressed you. “My whole life, you’ve sacrificed everything for me. You’ve taken on every burden, every responsibility, just to ensure I had a chance at happiness. But in doing so, you’ve denied yourself the things you truly want. The things that make you happy.”

You shook your head, tears pricking your eyes. You do not want your sister to think that she's robbed you of happiness. “That’s not true—”

“It is true,” Eve insisted gently, stepping closer to you. “You’ve always put me first. But I’m a grown woman now, Kate. I’m capable of making my own decisions. And today, I’ve chosen myself. I’ve chosen to walk away from a marriage that would only bring me misery.”

Her voice wavered, but she pressed on. “And now, I want you to do the same. I want you to choose yourself, Kate. Please.”

Eve reached out, taking your hands in hers. “You deserve to be happy, Kate. And so does Atticus. You both deserve a love that’s real. So don’t let this mistake hold you back any longer.”

Atticus, who had been silent, finally spoke, “Eve, I never meant to hurt you.”

“I know,” she said softly, turning to him with a faint smile. “But your heart was never truly mine to begin with. And that’s okay. You were never mine to lose in the first place.”

With that, she released your hands and stepped back, her gaze sweeping over both of you one last time. “I’ll leave you two to sort out the rest.”

As Eve turned and walked out of the church, the heavy doors closing behind her, silence filled the space once more. You stood frozen, your heart pounding as you avoided Atticus’ gaze, unsure of what to do or say.

You decided to take a walk to the garden instead, the soft glow reflecting off the still water of the nearby fountain is the perfect scenery for a perfect escape for you to take a breather. You leaned against the railing of the pavilion breathing deeply, attempting to steady your thoughts amidst the overwhelming chaos that happened in just one day.

The sound of approaching footsteps broke the fragile silence. You turned sharply, your breath hitching as Atticus stepped into the pavilion. His presence was unmissable, commanding even in the quiet of the night.

“You followed me,” you accused, your tone clipped.

He stopped in his tracks, his brows furrowing in confusion. “I did not.”

“You did,” you insisted, arms crossing defensively. “You always seem to find me when I need a moment to myself.”

His lips curved into the faintest hint of a smirk, though his voice remained calm. “Perhaps that says more about you than it does about me.”

You opened your mouth to retort, but he raised a hand, silencing you before you could unleash whatever sharp comment was on your tongue. “If you must know, I needed air. The church was stifling.”

His honesty gave you pause. Slowly, you nodded, retreating to the chair beneath the pavilion’s canopy. Sinking into the cushions, you leaned back, letting the softness envelop you. He watched you for a moment before taking the seat opposite yours, his movements deliberate, controlled.

For a while, the two of you sat in silence, the only sounds coming from the distant hum of crickets and the occasional rustle of leaves.

“You are quiet,” he said, breaking the stillness.

You cast him a sideways glance. “And you are talkative.”

“Then I will make myself scarce,” he said, rising to leave, though the softness in his tone suggested he had no real intention of going.

But before he could step away, you stopped him. “No.” The word was quiet, almost reluctant. “Stay, if you wish. I will not stop you.”

His gaze lingered on you, dark and intent, before he sat down again.

“Why are you like this?” you asked suddenly, the question slipping out before you could stop it.

“Like what?”

“Frustrating. Maddening. Constantly hovering.”

His smirk returned, though this time it held something more than amusement. “Perhaps it is because you seem to bring out the worst in me.”

You scoffed, though the sharpness in your voice wavered. “How charming.”

The air between you shifted, the teasing lightness giving way to something heavier, something neither of you could name.

“You drive me to distraction,” he said softly, his voice low, as though confessing a great sin.

Your heart skipped, your fingers curling against the fabric of your gown. “You shouldn’t say things like that.”

“Why not? It is the truth.”

“Because…” You hesitated, the words caught in your throat. “Because it complicates things.”

His chair scraped against the stone floor as he stood, slowly closing the distance between you. “Things are already complicated. And I am no longer betrothed to your sister.”

You swallowed hard, your breath quickening as he reached for you, his hand extending toward yours. “Stand,” he said, his voice a command wrapped in velvet.

Your legs trembled as you obeyed, his fingers brushing yours as he helped you rise. Before you could form a coherent thought, his lips were on yours, his kiss firm and demanding. Your hands clutched his shoulders instinctively, grounding yourself as the world seemed to tilt.

When he pulled back, his forehead rested against yours, his breath mingling with yours in the cool night air. “I was raised a gentleman,” he murmured, his voice thick with restraint. “I was taught to honor women, to respect them. And you… you deserve nothing less than the highest regard.”

You felt the weight of his words, the sincerity in his tone making your knees weak.

“But right now,” he continued, his voice dropping to a husky whisper, “that honor is hanging by a thread.”

You swallowed hard, nerves coiling tightly in your stomach. Your voice was barely audible when you whispered, “Then let the thread snap.”

His breath caught, his eyes searching yours for any trace of hesitation. Finding none, he cupped your face in his hands and kissed you again, deeper this time.

Atticus’ lips never left yours for long, trailing down your neck and across your collarbone as if memorizing every inch of your skin.

His hands were steady, reverent, as they explored your curves, his touch igniting fires wherever it lingered. Slowly, piece by piece, your clothes fell away, leaving you bare to the cool night air and his lustful gaze. He, too, shed his garments, revealing the sight of his body that made you almost salivate. It was too perfect, and he is well endowed.

But even in his desire, he was a gentleman. He turned his attention to the thick fabric draped over the chair, swiftly pulling it free and spreading it across the pavilion's smooth stone floor. His movements were deliberate, careful, as though constructing a sanctuary meant only for the two of you. He arranged the cushions with equal care, his gaze flicking to you, full of tenderness and restraint.

“Come here,” he murmured, his voice low and intimate, reaching out to take your hand.

You let him guide you down, his arms cradling you as he eased you onto the makeshift bed. The cool fabric beneath you contrasted with the warmth of his body as he hovered above, his weight supported by his forearms. His lips found yours again, but they did not linger long. He began a slow, deliberate path downward, pressing kisses to your jaw, your neck, and the hollow of your throat.

“You are breathtaking,” he whispered, his voice filled with awe. “Do you know that? Every inch of you… perfection.”

His lips continued their journey, brushing softly across your skin as he uttered words that felt like a prayer. He worshipped you with every touch, every kiss, as if you were a rare and precious treasure placed in his hands.

“You deserve to be adored,” he said against your skin, his voice shaking slightly. “To be loved without reservation. Without fear.”

You shivered beneath him, your fingers threading through his hair as his words wrapped around your heart. Every touch, every caress, felt like a vow, as though he were promising with his body what he could not yet bring himself to say aloud.

When his eyes met yours again, they were dark with desire, but also brimming with something deeper—something that frightened and thrilled you all at once.

The cool night air kissed your exposed skin, sending a shiver up your spine as his lips continued their reverent path down your body. His hands, strong yet tender, traced lines of fire along your sides, his soft touch keeping you sane as his lips pressed closer to your inner thighs.

When his mouth reached the sensitive folds still covered by your underwear, your breath hitched. You felt a sharp scrape of his teeth as he bit down lightly, his teeth catching the upper edge of your underwear.

You watched, mesmerized, as he slowly pulled the delicate fabric down with his teeth, his gaze never wavering from yours. The sheer intensity in his eyes, dark with desire and command, sent a wave of heat through you.

“Don’t look away,” he said, his voice a low growl, more a command than a request.

You nodded, your breath coming in shallow gasps as he settled between your thighs. His tongue moved with precision and purpose, tasting you in a way that made your back arch and your fingers claw at the fabric beneath you. He never looked away, his hands steadying your hips as his mouth worked magic, drawing sounds from you that you couldn’t suppress even if you tried.

His hands roamed, fingers brushing over the curves of your breasts, teasing the pebbled peaks. The sensations were overwhelming, his tongue alternated by swirling, sucking, and then slurping lewdly at your core, building tension inside you to a point you felt you could finish at any moment.

But just as you were about to tip over the edge, he stopped. The loss of contact was sharp, and you let out a frustrated whine before you could stop yourself.

His response was immediate. He surged up, capturing your mouth in a searing kiss before trailing down to your neck, sucking gently at the sensitive skin there to leave a mark. “Shh,” he murmured against your ear, his voice low and calming yet tinged with amusement. “Patience, my love.”

Atticus hovered above you, his eyes searching yours with care and tenderness. His hands cupped your face, his thumbs softly brushing your cheeks as though grounding you for what was to come.

"Are you ready?" he asked, his voice a low murmur, filled with reverence and patience.

You nodded, though the vulnerability in your gaze didn’t go unnoticed by him. He pressed a tender kiss to your forehead, his lips lingering there as though to reassure you. “Tell me if it’s too much. We’ll go slow.”

His hand moved to guide himself, and you felt the first press of the head of his manhood against your entrance. The sensation was foreign, and your body instinctively tensed. He noticed immediately, pausing and leaning down to press a series of gentle kisses along your jawline.

“Breathe, Kate,” he whispered against your skin. “Just breathe. I’m right here.”

You nodded again, your fingers gripping his shoulders as you took in a deep breath. He began to push forward, his movements careful and measured. The stretch was too wide and uncomfortable at first, and your face reflected the unfamiliarity of the sensation. He paused, his brows knitting with concern as he brushed a strand of hair from your face.

“Look at me,” he urged softly, his voice steady and comforting. “I’ve got you. Just focus on me.”

You met his gaze, his deep, steady eyes anchoring you as he moved again, inch by inch, giving you time to adjust to him. His lips found yours, slow and coaxing, as though to distract you from the discomfort. “You’re doing so well,” he praised between kisses, his voice filled with awe. “So perfect. Just let me in, my love.”

Eventually, he was fully sheathed within you, you swore you could almost feel him at your stomach. He stilled, giving you a moment to acclimate, his hands stroking soothing patterns along your sides.

“Does it hurt?” he asked, his forehead resting against yours.

You shook your head slightly, though the feeling was still strange. “Not hurt,” you murmured. “Just… different.”

He smiled, his expression soft and reassuring. “It will get better. I promise. Just tell me if it’s too much, and I’ll stop.”

You nodded, and he began to move, his thrusts slow and deliberate, watching your face with every shift of his hips. The discomfort started to subside, replaced by something enjoyable. He never stopped whispering to you, his words like a steady stream of devotion.

“You’re incredible,” he murmured, his lips brushing yours. “This is yours—every part of me is yours.”

As the rhythm grew steadier, the sensation shifted again, pleasure beginning to coil low in your belly. Your nails dug into his shoulders, and you felt yourself start to relax, your body responding to his in a way that felt instinctive and natural.

“That’s it,” he said softly, his tone filled with both pride and love. “Just let go, Kate. Let me take care of you.”

Atticus had been steady and gentle, his movements precise as he worked to guide you into comfort and pleasure. But the moment the first loud pleasured moan escaped your lips, everything shifted. His lips curled into a devilish smirk, a spark of something darker flashing in his eyes.

"That’s it," he murmured, his voice still sweet but laced with an edge of mischief. Without warning, his pace quickened, his hips snapping against yours in a brutal way that made your breath hitch.

Your body jerked at the sudden change, a scream leaving your lips before his hand clamped over your mouth. “Shh, love,” he cooed, his tone soft but the rhythm of his thrusts relentless. “We wouldn’t want anyone hearing, would we?”

The gentleness he had shown moments ago was now replaced with something animalistic and untamed. His grip on your hips tightened, the bruising hold ensuring you stayed exactly where he wanted. His lips traveled down your chest, and his teeth found one of your sensitive nipples, biting just hard enough to make you gasp against his palm.

“Mine,” he whispered, his breath hot against your skin. “Every inch of you is mine.”

Your thighs quivered as he pulled back slightly, his hand coming down in a sharp slap against the soft flesh of your inner thigh. You yelped into his palm, your body arching off the makeshift bed beneath you. He chuckled low in his throat, clearly relishing your reactions.

“You’re perfect like this,” he muttered, his lips brushing against the reddened skin he had just struck. “So responsive, so beautiful.”

You felt the tension coiling tighter within you, the overwhelming sensations building with every thrust and touch. His fingers found your sensitive nub, and he pinched it just as your body clenched around him. The wave of release hit you like a torrent, your cries muffled against his hand as your body trembled helplessly beneath him.

“Look at that,” he chuckled darkly, his voice thick with satisfaction as he watched the evidence of your pleasure spill over. “Such a good girl, coming undone just for me.”

Even as you panted and writhed in the aftermath, he didn’t slow down. His thrusts grew erratic, his breathing heavier as he chased his own release. His hands gripped your hips tightly, holding you in place as he drove into your swollen pussy like you were bunnies trying to breed.

Atticus gently raised your hips, his strong hands holding you securely as he shifted his position. The angle left you breathless, your body bending to his will as he knelt, planting his feet for leverage. He continued pounding, your legs almost giving out limply from exhaustion until he pulled out in a hurry, leaving your hole empty and fluttering.

With a low groan, he wrapped his hand around himself, pumping fast while his face contorted in a desperate expression, biting his lips while his brows furrowed. The release came swiftly, painting your stomach in warm streaks that contrasted against the chill of the night air. Atticus’ breathing was heavy, his chest rising and falling as he admired the sight of you, your flushed skin, the way your body seemed utterly spent, your hair splayed messily around you like a halo.

Something stirred deep within him. Seeing you in such a state, ruined yet radiant, it ignited a spark that refused to fade. His body responded almost instinctively, and he groaned as he felt himself harden once more. Without hesitation, he slid back inside you in one thrust, filling you completely.

Your eyes, which had been closed in exhaustion, flew open at the sudden intrusion. A mix of confusion and surprise danced across your face, and your lips parted as if to speak, to protest. But before you could say anything, Atticus leaned forward, brushing the damp strands of hair away from your forehead with a tenderness that made you blush.

“Everything is fine,” he murmured, his voice low and soothing. His lips brushed against your temple in a fleeting kiss as his hands settled on your waist, anchoring you. “One more, alright?”

Atticus started moving again and he was unrelenting, his hips snapping against yours as he pulled you into a rhythm that was almost overwhelming. Yet his lips softened the blows of his passion, pressing kisses to your jaw, your temple, and the sensitive curve of your neck.

“Atticus,” you whimpered, your voice trembling as you clawed at his shoulders, trying to anchor yourself. His name on your lips was music to his ears, and he responded with a low groan, dipping his head to capture your mouth in a rough messy kiss.

“Say it again,” he whispered against your lips, his tone almost desperate as he pulled back just enough to meet your eyes.

“Atticus,” you moaned, your voice cracking slightly, and he smirked, his gaze dark and full of desire.

“That’s my good girl,” he murmured, his hands gripping your hips tightly, pulling you against him in a way that made you gasp. The pressure, the fullness, it was all-consuming, and you felt your body arch beneath him as he continued to drive into you with precision.

As the coil built within you once again, he could feel it too, and his words softened, becoming a litany of praise. “You’re perfect. So beautiful. Taking me so well.” Each word was punctuated by a kiss on your body until you finally cried out, your body tensing and shuddering as you reached your release for the second time.

But Atticus didn’t stop. He groaned as he felt you clench around him, and his movements grew even rougher, his grip bruising as he chased his own release. His pace was relentless, but his lips remained soft, brushing over your heated skin as he muttered, “We’re not done yet.”

By the time he finally finished, only this time he didn't bother pulling out and decided to just spill inside you, filling you to the brim with his warm load.

You were in the middle of catching your breath when you noticed the hunger in his eyes hadn’t faded yet. Before you could protest, he repositioned you again, his hands sliding beneath your thighs to lift you closer to him and fold you into complete half this time.

“Wait Atticus no–” you gasped, your hands bracing against his chest, but he only leaned down to kiss you deeply, silencing any protests before they could form.

“Last one, I promise.” He whispered against your lips, his voice dark and commanding. “You can take it, right? You're my girl.”

His movements were slower this time, deliberate, as if savoring every moment. You could feel every inch of him, the way he filled you completely, and despite the exhaustion in your limbs, you found yourself aching and craving for more.

“Please,” you moaned, your fingers tangling in his hair as his thrusts grew deeper, hitting a spot that made you see stars.

“Found it,” he rasped, his lips capturing yours again. This new deeper angle and the way he's abusively hitting that one spot on repeat made your eyes roll back with a desperate sob.

Oh well, you two decided to continue until you've reached four rounds. And the only reason you both stopped at the fourth round is because you passed out, no longer enduring his impossible stamina.

You woke up early and found yourself tangled into the sheets laid out on the ground of the pavilion. You sat up with a soft groan at the ache in your muscles and the sharp sting on your private part. Beside you was Atticus, who was still sleeping. Remembering everything from last night, you sighed and ran your fingers through your hair. You really have no shame, do you? Moments after your sister's failed wedding you decided to sleep with her ex fiance. It is truly sinful to think of, oh but his touch, his kisses, it all felt heaven to you.

You hadn’t planned on leaving Atticus behind before he can even wake up so recklessly, but staying in that space with him was unbearable. And that's what led you to dress up and steal a horse from a nearby stable to ride in the middle of a storm. You didn't care, you needed to be alone, to clear your thoughts. To escape.

“Kate!” a voice called out behind you, barely audible through the deafening rain. You clenched the reins tighter, ignoring it. You knew who it was. You couldn’t face him, not after what had happened between the two of you in the garden under the cover of night. Not after the way you’d give your body so foolishly.

“Kate!” his voice was louder this time, desperate for you to stop. Your chest tightened as you pressed your heels against your horse, urging it to pick up speed. You didn’t dare to look back.

“Stop, Kate!” he shouted, his voice closer now. You could hear the thunder of his horse catching up, but you pushed yours harder. The rain blurred your vision, the cold numbing your hands, but you didn’t care. You couldn’t care.

And yes you indeed do not care because you didn’t see the rock on your way.

It all happened too quickly—your horse stumbled due to the rocks. You gasped as you felt yourself thrown off, your body hitting the ground with a sickening loud thud. Pain shot through your head as it struck the ground.

The last thing you heard was his voice calling your name in panic and fear as he got off his horse to run to where you are.

Then everything went black.

Eve stood beside your bed, her hand trembling as it rested lightly on the bedframe. Her lips quivered as she stared down at you, still and pale against the white sheets.

“Deirfiúr, you must not do this. You have to wake up,” she whispered, her voice cracking as tears spilled silently down her cheeks. “We still need to reconcile. You can't—” Her voice broke completely, and she closed her eyes tightly, stopping herself from speaking the words that burned in her throat. The thought was too unbearable, too final.

Eve pulled herself together and walked to the chair beside your bed, sitting down with a heavy sigh. She wiped at her tears, trying to steady herself. But then a soft, weak voice called out to her.

“Eve.”

Her head snapped up, and she gasped, seeing your eyes flutter open. Your smile, small and fragile, spread across your pale face. Eve shot to her feet, leaning over you in disbelief.

“Kate! Oh, thank God, you’re awake!” she cried, her hands trembling as she cupped your face.

She didn’t waste another moment. “Mama! Lady Danbury! She’s awake!” Her voice rang out, filled with relief and joy as she hurried to call for them.

Moments later, your mother and Lady Danbury rushed into the room, their expressions melting into relief at the sight of you. Your mother clasped your hand tightly, tears streaming down her face as she whispered a prayer of gratitude. Lady Danbury, though composed, could not hide the soft smile of relief that touched her usually stern features.

After hugs and soft words of comfort, you looked at them, still weak but curious. “What happened?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.

Your mother and Lady Danbury exchanged a glance before explaining. “You’ve been unconscious for days,” your mother said, her voice trembling with emotion. “You fell from your horse during the storm. Atticus… he brought you back.”

Hearing his name triggered the memory—his frantic voice calling out to you, his arms lifting you from the ground. You swallowed hard and asked quietly, “Has he… visited?”

The silence that followed was deafening. Your mother looked down at her lap, Lady Danbury averted her gaze, and Eve bit her lip, avoiding your eyes. Their silence spoke louder than any words could.

You forced a small, disappointed smile and nodded slowly, your chest tightening. “I see,” you murmured, your voice strained. “I think I need to rest now.”

They hesitated, but eventually, they nodded and left the room one by one, each giving you a tender glance before leaving you alone.

As soon as the door closed, you turned to the other side, your expression crumbling. A frown settled on your face, and tears pooled in your eyes.

After that shared night, do you still mean so little to him? He was confusing, stubborn, and impossible to read. But as much as you wanted to blame him, you couldn’t deny that you were just as bad and stubborn. I guess that's what makes you two a perfect match.

Atticus shifted on the sofa, a stack of papers balanced on his lap while he read some of them. His brow furrowed in concentration as he worked through the endless documents.

Suddenly, the door burst open and Violet entered, her expression alight with excitement and relief. He raised his head, his sharp gaze softening as he took in her glowing demeanor. He didn’t need to hear her say it. The answer was written all over her face.

“She’s awake?” he asked, his voice low, barely above a whisper.

Violet nodded, her smile unwavering. “One of their maids informed ours,” she said gently.

He let out the biggest sigh of relief, it felt like the thorn had been lifted from his chest. He set the papers aside and leaned forward, running his hands down his face before pressing them tightly over his mouth. A shaky sob escaped him, and he buried his face deeper into his hands, shoulders trembling.

Violet’s eyes softened with empathy as she watched her son show his emotions again for the first time in years. She walked over and sat beside him, wrapping an arm around his back. She rubbed soothing circles, allowing him the moment to cry and let it out that he so desperately needed.

For a long while, neither of them spoke. The room was filled only with the quiet sounds of his muffled cries. When Atticus finally calmed, Violet broke the silence.

“You’ve always been stubborn,” she began softly, her voice carrying a nostalgic warmth. “But it wasn't until after your father’s death. Before that, you were the most obedient, gentle, and kind-hearted boy I had ever known.”

“I owe you an apology,” Violet continued, her voice cracking as she struggled to keep her composure. “When your father died, I was so lost in my grief that I failed you. I left everything to you, the responsibilities, the weight of the family, all of it when you were only sixteen. And worse, I wasn’t even there to comfort you when you were the one to witness your father’s death right in front of your eyes.”

Her tears fell freely now, and she reached out, placing a hand on his cheek. “I’m so sorry, Atticus. You deserved better from me, as your mother.”

Atticus shook his head, his throat tight. “You were grieving, Mother. I don’t blame you for that.”

Violet smiled through her tears, her voice trembling. “But even after everything, if I could go back in time, I would still choose your father. I would still choose the life I had with him. Because true love will always be worth the risk.”

She paused, gripping his hands firmly, “Atticus, don’t lose her.” He looked into her eyes and saw how firm and serious she is on this. “You cannot lose her.”

You stood at the edge of the room after attending Lady Fontaine’s ball, your family's first appearance to society after the disastrous wedding that left everyone's question unanswered and caused them to speculate and spread different rumors. However, you did not even noticed all the judging eyes and whispered laughs among the ladies of the ton for your eyes have betrayed you, darting toward him again, Atticus, his attention focused on Benjamin as they converse.

When his eyes turned to meet yours, you quickly looked away, your breath catching in your chest.

“You cannot keep doing this,” Eve’s soft voice startled you as she came up behind you. “I don’t know what you mean,” you lied through your teeth, gripping your glass.

“You know exactly what I mean,” she said with a faint smile tugging at her lips. “You must stop avoiding him.”

Deep inside, you know that she's right. You can't just keep on avoiding him forever, but how could you face him after everything? The guilt is still coursing through you. “Eve, I—”

“No,” she interrupted gently, placing a hand on your arm. “You have my blessing. You always did. Do you hear me, deirfiúr? You deserve happiness. Choose yourself just as I have chosen myself.”

You couldn't help the tears in your eyes at her words. Those were words you had longed to hear and they were finally spoken. Slowly, you nodded, your voice trembling with gratitude. “Thank you.”

It was then that you felt his presence before you saw him. Turning, your heart leapt as Atticus stood there, his soft eyes fixed down on you.

“Miss Sheffield,” he said while stretching a hand out to you. “May I have this dance?”

Your heart pounded as you glanced at Eve. Her soft, encouraging nod gave you the courage you needed. You slipped your hand into his, the warmth of his hand easing all your worries.

You were acutely aware of the stares, the whispers, the judgment. But then his hand rested gently at your waist, his other clasping yours, and you found yourself looking up at him, your ears falling deaf to the sound of others. Because would you really regard the judgment from people when the man you had dreamed of is finally in front of you?

The dance began, and despite the heaviness in your chest, you moved together gracefully. “Breathe,” he murmured in a soft voice in an attempt to calm your frayed nerves.

“I am breathing,” you whispered back. “Good,” he said, a small smile curving his lips. “Because I cannot seem to.”

His words sent a rush of warmth through you, but the moment felt bittersweet. You were hyper-aware of the ton’s scornful eyes, the whispers about Eve, about you, about him. But then, in your peripheral vision, you saw movement—a regal figure rising from her chair.

The Queen.

She clapped her gloved hands together lightly, a smile spreading across her face as she surveyed the room. “How splendid,” she declared, her voice carrying effortlessly across the ballroom. “It was I who suggested the engagement between Miss Everlyn and Lord Bridgerton be reconsidered. A love match is far more suitable for one of my balls, don’t you think?”

The weight of the room shifted. The judgmental gazes softened, whispers turning to reluctant approval. The Queen’s blessing had single handedly ended all the scandal and the malicious looks that you and his family were receiving.

You looked back at Atticus, your breath catching at the way he was watching you like nothing else mattered. His thumb brushed gently against your hand. “Let them watch,” he murmured, leaning closer so only you could hear. “They mean nothing to me.”

Tears threatened to spill, they were happy tears of course, but you blinked them back, nodding softly as you let yourself get lost in his eyes.

As the music swirled to a stop and the whispers among the ton hushed, Atticus stepped back slightly, his hand still holding yours. His eyes never left your face as he reached into his pocket, pulling out a small velvet box.

Your heart pounded uncontrollably as you realized what he was doing. The entire ballroom seemed to freeze, every gaze fixed on the two of you, the Queen herself sitting upright in curiosity as she witnesses yet another love match instead of a political one.

“Miss Sheffield,” Atticus began, his voice steady but filled with raw emotion. He knelt before you and opened the box, revealing the betrothal ring that was once on your sister's finger.

But you could care less right now, those thoughts have been long gone and trashed at the furthest back of your mind. Right now, all you want to do is to bask in joy.

“I had planned to say this in a quieter, more private setting,” he continued, his voice carrying through the silent room. “But after everything that has happened, I realized there is no time to waste. I need everyone here, everyone in this room, to know the truth. I love you,” he said, his voice breaking slightly. “You are the bane of my existence and the object of all my desires, night and day I dream of you. I cannot go any longer without making my intentions clear.”

Gasps rippled through the crowd, but all you could hear was his voice, your heart swelling with emotions you could no longer contain.

“Will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?” He popped the question in a collected voice, but truth be told, Atticus can practically feel his heartbeat on his ears right now.

You were stunned, your mind struggling to process what was happening. But as you stared at him, at the vulnerability etched into his features, at the love shining so brightly in his eyes, you knew there was only one answer.

“Yes,” you whispered, your voice cracking, and then you repeated louder this time, “Yes, I will marry you!”

The crowd burst into applause and cheers, but you barely heard them as you dropped to your knees and threw your arms around him. He stood, pulling you close, and you felt nothing but love and happiness surrounding you the moment he slipped the ring onto your finger.

You sobbed tears of joy and blurred your vision as Atticus cupped your face, his forehead resting gently against yours.

“Are you certain?” he murmured softly, his voice trembling with relief and disbelief. You laughed through your tears, nodding. “I’ve never been more certain of anything.”

The applause grew louder, both sides of your families stood together, smiling widely, with Dorothea and Everlyn clapping the loudest and grinning from ear to ear. Even the Queen herself clapped.

Dearest Readers,

It is often said that life unfolds in ways we can neither predict nor control, and yet, as I sit here writing this letter, I find myself utterly grateful for every twist and turn that has brought me to this moment. Looking back, it is almost laughable how impossible this ending once seemed.

You may recall the scandal that rocked the ton when the grand wedding of my now husband and my younger sister was called off. A union arranged out of duty, one that was meant to solidify the Queen’s favor upon our family, ended in a whirlwind of whispers and raised brows. For weeks, the judgment was relentless, the whispers cutting as sharp as any blade. Yet amidst the chaos, the truth emerged: the Viscount’s heart did not belong to Everlyn. It belonged to me.

As for Everlyn, do not fret, dear reader, for she is more than happy and provided for by her husband who loves her as much as she loves him. She married the Queen's nephew, Prince Friedrich of Prussia. Familiar? Yes, he was the same prince that courted Dorothea before.

We endured much to reach this happy ending—disapproving matriarchs, cold stares in every ballroom, and the constant pressure of propriety. But somehow, we weathered it all. And now, as I write to you, I am no longer simply Miss Katherine Grace Sheffield. I am Viscountess Katherine Grace Bridgerton, wife to the man I never dreamed I could truly call my own, and mother to four extraordinary children who are the very embodiment of the love Atticus and I share.

Our eldest, Ethan Bridgerton II, bears the name of his grandfather, a tribute to the late Viscount who raised Atticus into the man he is today. Oliver, our second-born, is as calm and sweet as his father was in his youth, though I dare say he might surpass him in wit and charm. Elizabeth, our darling girl, has a quiet strength and curiosity that I recognize so well—it mirrors my own when I was her age. And finally, little Anna, our one-year-old bundle of joy, who has made this very letter a challenge to write as she wiggles on my lap, babbling with great determination while attempting to steal my quill.

As I glance up from my writing desk, Anna now points out toward the fields, her tiny fingers waving enthusiastically at the sight before us: Atticus is out there with Ethan, Oliver, and Elizabeth, teaching them the finer points of pall-mall. His laugh carries over the breeze, and the children’s delighted squeals fill the air as they chase after their father’s expert shots.

It is a scene I never dared to hope for, but one I cherish deeply. Through all the hardships, we found our way to each other, and though the road was anything but easy, the destination was worth every struggle.

I leave you now with this image, dearest reader, and the reassurance that even the most unconventional and scandalous of love stories can find their happy ending. And if you’ll excuse me, Anna is starting to fuss and tug at my hair.

—From Katherine Grace, Viscountess Bridgerton, to you.

[yjw1a1]

WRECKED.ᐟ

pairing ᝰ.ᐟ yang jungwon x reader

warnings ᝰ.ᐟ overstimulation, multiple orgasms, use of vibrator, etc.

natty’s notes ᝰ.ᐟ request, mdni, hate comments will be deleted.

his hands are everywhere—slow, calculated, merciless.

the pads of his fingers drag over your skin, tracing idle patterns, ghosting down your stomach with a touch so light and teasing it makes your breath hitch, makes your body twitch beneath him.

he’s been at this for what feels like hours, pulling you apart, putting you back together, and then ruining you all over again.

his fingers, already coated in your arousal, dip lower, pressing just barely against your entrance, spreading you open with painful, agonizing patience.

“so sensitive already?” his voice is low, mocking, filled with fake sympathy as he watches the way your thighs tremble beneath him.

“j-jungwon—” your breath catches, a whimper slipping past your lips as his fingers press deeper, curling just slightly, stroking against that one spot that makes your stomach tighten, your back arch off the mattress.

“mm, you’re gripping me so tight, baby.” his smirk widens, his pace still slow, deliberate, his thumb lazily circling your clit, applying just enough pressure to make you squirm.

your hands clench at the sheets, nails digging in as pleasure builds too fast, too intensely, your body already worn down from everything before.

“p-please,” you gasp, voice shaky, breathless, and jungwon hums, his eyes flickering up to meet yours, filled with wicked amusement.

“please what?”

his fingers never stop—never slow, never falter.

“t-too much,” you whimper, your thighs trying to snap shut around his wrist, but his free hand grips your thigh, pinning it down, holding you wide open.

“too much?” he repeats, feigning innocence, his lips curling as he presses deeper, stroking harder, watching your body jerk in overstimulated desperation.

“but baby, i’ve barely even started.” his mouth is on you before you can protest, before you can beg for mercy, before you can even breathe.

his tongue flicks out in a slow, torturous stroke, licking up your soaked folds, spreading your slick as his lips wrap perfectly around your swollen clit.

“f-fuck—!”

your head tilts back, a strangled moan breaking from your lips as your fingers fly to his hair, your grip tightening, desperate.

but he doesn’t care.

he doesn’t care that your body is twitching, jerking, doesn’t care that you’re already so sensitive, so wrecked, doesn’t care that your breath is coming out in choked, uneven gasps.

if anything, it only fuels him.

“mm, still so needy.” his words are muffled against your heat, his tongue pressing firm, slowly swirling, his fingers still buried inside you, thrusting, curling, stretching you open.

he groans when he feels your walls flutter around him, sucking him in, your body already so close, already so far gone.

“you gonna cum again, baby?” his voice is mocking, condescending, but you don’t care—you can’t.

because it’s happening too fast, too suddenly, too overwhelmingly.

your thighs shake violently, your back arching off the bed, your lips parting in a silent scream as your orgasm crashes through you, harder, more intense than the first.

but jungwon—jungwon doesn’t stop.

his tongue flicks faster, licking and sucking, his fingers stroking, pressing, thrusting, pushing you past your limits, past anything you can handle.

“n-no—i—j-jungwon, please!” your voice is strained, broken, the pleasure borderline unbearable, tears pricking at your lashes from the sheer overload.

but he only laughs, breath hot against your slick skin as he pulls back slightly, just enough to watch you fall apart.

“what’s wrong, baby?” he murmurs, tilting his head, eyes filled with mock sympathy.

“thought you wanted more?” your fingers clench into his hair, tugging desperately, trying to pull him away, but it only makes him groan, the vibration sending another sharp jolt of pleasure through you.

“s’too much—i can’t—”

his grip on your thigh tightens, keeping you pinned, keeping you from escaping.

“oh, but you can, baby.”

his tongue flicks out again, circling your clit, pressing firm, relentless, unyielding.

your body is on fire, shaking uncontrollably, your legs twitching violently as jungwon continues to pull orgasm after orgasm from you, refusing to give you a single second to breathe.

your vision blurs, your head tipping back as your mind goes blank, the pleasure so overwhelming it starts to borderline pain.

“c-can’t—i can’t—”

his fingers don’t slow, his tongue doesn’t falter—if anything, he only pushes you harder, watches as you fall apart completely, watches as you sob helplessly beneath him, begging for mercy.

but mercy isn’t in jungwon’s vocabulary.

“look at you,” he muses, smirk widening as he watches the way your body shudders, completely at his mercy.

“so fucking ruined.”

his fingers slide out of you suddenly, leaving you clenching around nothing, the absence almost enough to make you sob.

your chest heaves, your breath ragged, uneven, but before you can even process the loss—his hands grip your thighs, yanking you closer, his lips wrapping around your clit again.

“j-jungwon—!”

your body jerks violently, a desperate, wrecked whimper breaking from your throat as the stimulation starts all over again.

“shhh,” he soothes, voice mocking, amused, his tongue lazily flicking, slow and devastating.

“just one more for me, baby.”

but you already know—he’s lying.

your body barely has time to recover before you hear it. a soft, unmistakable buzz—low and menacing, cutting through the heavy silence of the room. your heart stutters, and despite the exhaustion weighing down your limbs, your head snaps up, eyes widening in realization.

“n-no—” your voice is shaky, hoarse, but the plea barely makes it past your lips before jungwon is pressing the vibrator against your swollen clit.

the sensation is instant, brutal, unforgiving. your entire body arches off the mattress, a strangled cry ripping from your throat as the vibrations send a fresh wave of sharp, electric pleasure through your already wrecked, oversensitive body.

“oh, baby,” jungwon murmurs, his voice filled with mock sympathy, eyes flickering over your tear-streaked face, the way your body jerks and twitches beneath him.

“you’re shaking so much.”

his free hand presses against your lower stomach, holding you down, pinning you in place, ensuring you can’t escape, can’t squirm away.

“i think you can give me another one.”

your nails claw at the sheets, your breath coming in shaky, broken gasps, but jungwon doesn’t let up. his pace is steady, calculated, merciless, his smirk widening as he watches your body react to every movement, your thighs still twitching uncontrollably.

“p-please,” you sob, hands reaching for him, but he catches your wrists easily, pinning them above your head.

“please what?” his head tilts, mocking amusement dancing in his eyes.

“s’too much—j-jungwon, please—” but he only laughs, shaking his head as he presses the vibrator harder, pushing you deeper into the mattress.

“too much?” he repeats, voice filled with mockery. the vibrations increase, and you break.

your body jerks violently, your back arching, a scream of pleasure tearing from your throat as another orgasm crashes over you, too soon, too strong, too devastating.

but jungwon doesn’t stop.

his grip on your thigh tightens, his eyes dark with satisfaction as he watches you completely fall apart.

“look at you, baby,” he murmurs, dragging the toy in slow circles, making sure you feel everything. “so fucked out, so sensitive. can’t even stop shaking.”

you can’t respond—can’t even think—your body trembling beneath him, pleasure teetering on the edge of pain.

your body is overloaded, nerves fried, your mind completely blank.

you don’t realize you’re crying until jungwon reaches up, wiping a stray tear from your cheek with his thumb.

“aww, baby,” he coos, his voice still filled with mockery, but there’s something else too—something darker, more satisfied.

“are you crying?”

he leans down, pressing his lips against your jaw, kissing the tear-stained skin.

“poor thing.” the vibrator doesn’t stop, doesn’t slow, doesn’t let up.

“but you should’ve thought about that before you decided to act like a brat.”

you can’t stop it.

the orgasm crashes over you hard, violent, all-consuming, your body jerking uncontrollably, every nerve in your body overloaded, oversensitive, burning.

but jungwon doesn’t stop.

your sob catches in your throat, your nails digging into his wrist, trying—failing—to push him away as the pleasure turns unbearable, overwhelming.

“n-no, j-jungwon—please, i—i can’t—”

but he doesn’t listen.

“you can,” he corrects smoothly, never faltering, never easing up. “and you will.”

his pace never changes, the toy still buzzing mercilessly, and your body keeps convulsing, keeps shaking, keeps writhing beneath him.

the overstimulation is cruel, unrelenting, and he knows it.

“aww, baby,” he coos, watching the way your eyes flutter, dazed and teary. “aren’t you cute?”

his fingers slide down your stomach, tracing the trembling muscles, feeling every little aftershock of pleasure.

“one more,” he murmurs, voice low, coaxing, devastating. “give me one more, baby.”

natty’s notes ᝰ.ᐟ had two requests for jungwon so here it is !!

[yjw1a1]

bf!Enhypen x f!reader - the faces and sounds they make during sex + pt.2 of pornstar material!Sunghoon

ENHA HARD HOURS 18+ MDNI jungwons part has belly bulging so if ur not okay w that dont read it pls. and sunghoons part has filming. yk this ish is nasty so dont expect anyth else tbh

𝐋𝐞𝐞 𝐇𝐞𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐮𝐧𝐠

At first, Heeseung tries to keep himself together. Tries. His jaw is clenched, his brows furrowed, and his fingers dig bruises into your hips as if sheer force alone will keep him from falling apart too soon. His Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows thickly, sweat dampening his hair at the edges of his temples, and his teeth sink into his bottom lip, hard, trying to suppress the low, guttural groans that threaten to escape with every slow, deliberate roll of your hips.

But it’s pointless.

The moment you tighten around him, drag your nails down his chest, whisper filth into his ear, he’s done for. His entire body jerks beneath you, a broken gasp leaving his lips as his composure shatters in real time. His head falls back against the pillow, exposing the long line of his throat as his lips finally part, releasing the kind of deep, wrecked moanthat reverberates in his chest, sinful and raw.

“You like this, don’t you?” you murmur against his ear, voice thick with amusement. “Letting me ride you like this, letting me take whatever I want from you.” You bite down on his earlobe, tugging slightly, and his entire body shudders. His grip on your hips tightens reflexively, like he’s trying to take control again, but the moment you slam your hips down on him just right, his breath catches, and his jaw goes slack.

“Fuck—” His voice breaks, deep and rough, his brows furrowing tighter as he drowns in the feeling of you. His hands tremble against your skin, and when you lean in close, pressing your lips right against his ear, you feel the way he physically tenses beneath you, how his body twitches every time you whisper something filthier than the last.

“You hear that, baby?” you tease, rolling your hips in slow, calculated movements that have him gritting his teeth, groaning deep in his throat, every muscle in his body pulled taut. “That filthy sound you’re making? So desperate, so fucking wrecked. I love hearing you like this.”

His eyes squeeze shut, his forehead creasing, his breath coming out in shaky, uneven pants as his self-control slips through his fingers like sand. His lips part, forming your name in a choked, needy groan, his chest rising and falling erratically beneath you. He looks so fucking beautiful like this— strong arms tense, veins prominent, jaw slack, brows still pinched in pure, overwhelmed pleasure.

The closer he gets, the more helplessly filthy his expression becomes. His thighs tremble, his hands dig into your hips so tight you know you’ll feel it tomorrow, and his mouth hangs open completely, lips swollen and wet from all the times he’s bitten them raw. His breath comes in ragged, wrecked gasps, and every time you drop down onto him, every time your walls squeeze and flutter around him, his moans turn low, deep, nearly feral.

“F-fuck—baby, I’m—” His voice catches, the deepest, filthiest sound leaving his throat as his entire body jerks beneath you, every muscle coiling so tight it’s almost painful. He holds onto you like a lifeline, his face the perfect picture of a man absolutely destroyed by you— jaw clenched, brows furrowed, lips parted in deep, guttural groans as his climax rips through him, violent and all-consuming.

Heeseung doesn’t just come quietly.

He gasps, groans, moans your name like a prayer, head thrown back, mouth wide open as his body trembles beneath you, thick fingers still gripping you tight, holding you close, refusing to let you go. His skin is flushed, glistening, damp with sweat, and even after, even when he’s still struggling to breathe, his lips stay parted, brows still furrowed like he hasn’t come down yet, like he’s still lingering in that wrecked haze of pleasure.

And when he finally opens his eyes again, when he meets your gaze with hooded, fucked-out eyes, his voice comes out gravelly, wrecked, almost teasing despite how completely ruined he is.

“Shit, baby,” he breathes, licking his lips, looking you up and down with pure hunger. “You’re not done with me yet, are you?”

𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐉𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐠

Jay likes to talk. He always has something to say—cocky, teasing, throwing in some smug little remark about how he’s the one wrecking you, the one making you fall apart.

But not right now.

Right now, Jay can’t say a single fucking word.

His head is tipped back against the mattress, jaw slack, lips parted in an utterly ruined, breathless moan. His arms—usually so strong, so in control—are trembling beneath you, hands weakly gripping your waist like he’s barely hanging on.

And his eyes?

They’re shut tight, completely screwed shut, his brows furrowed in pure, overwhelming pleasure. His chest rises and falls erratically, his abs tense and flexing beneath sweat-damp skin, and his lips twitch slightly, trying so hard to form words that just won’t come.

He looks like a man who’s been completely fucked brainless.

But you want more.

“Jay,” you whimper, bouncing on his cock at a filthy, punishing pace, grinding down against him, watching his head loll back further, his mouth falling open as a helpless, deep groan slips from his throat. “Baby, look at me. Open your eyes. Please.”

He makes a wrecked, desperate noise, something between a whimper and a choked curse, his fingers twitching at your hips like he wants to take control but can’t. His lashes flutter, his brows knit together tighter, but he still won’t look at you.

“Jay,” you gasp again, leaning down, lips brushing over his jaw, his cheek, his ear. “Please. Just one look, baby. Let me see you. Let me see how fucking good I’m making you feel.”

A deep, shaky breath leaves his lips, his head rolling to the side, cheeks flushed, jaw tense, but his eyes stay firmly shut. His body shudders as he breathes out a low, broken “fuck”, his voice shaking so much it makes you clench around him even tighter.

That’s what does it.

The moment you squeeze around him, his eyes fly open for half a second before rolling back completely, eyelids fluttering shut again as a deep, wrecked groan rips from his throat. His entire body jerks, his grip tightens painfully around your waist, and his hips snap up into you desperately, helplessly, like he’s chasing a high he can’t handle.

“Angel, I—” His voice is completely fucked, breathless and shaky, words slurring together like he’s lost all motor function. He tries to open his eyes, tries to obey you, but the pleasure is so overwhelming, so brain-melting, that his lids just keep slipping shut over and over again.

“Fuck, I c-can’t,” he stammers, his voice breaking, breath stuttering hard as his body tenses, twitches, spirals closer and closer to the edge.

“Yes, you can,” you whisper, licking into his mouth, moaning softly against his lips as you keep riding him, keep taking him, keep watching him come undone beneath you. “Look at me when you cum, Jay. Let me see you.”

It takes everything in him, every ounce of strength he has left, but his lashes flutter just barely open, and you catch the barest hint of his dark, glossy eyes—glazed, wrecked, overwhelmed—before they roll back again, his mouth falling open in a deep, desperate, completely ruined moan.

His orgasm hits him like a truck, his body jerking up into you, shaking, his breath catching mid-moan as he completely loses control. His fingers dig into your hips so tight it hurts, his abs flexing hard, his head tilted back against the pillows as his jaw drops open, lips forming helpless, broken curses.

He’s gone.

So fucked-out, so utterly wrecked, so deep in pleasure that he can’t even function.

When it’s over, when the last tremors leave his body and you finally let him catch his breath, he still can’t open his eyes. His face is slack, completely blissed-out, his lips still parted, chest heaving, body twitching with the aftershocks.

And when he finally manages to flutter his lashes open, to look at you through half-lidded, exhausted, pleasure-drunk eyes, his voice comes out hoarse, wrecked, and so fucking low it makes you clench again.

“Fuck, angel” he breathes, licking his swollen lips, looking like a man who’s just been destroyed.

Then his eyes flicker shut again, his head tipping back with a weak, blissed-out smirk.

“You almost fucking killed me.”

𝐒𝐢𝐦 𝐉𝐚𝐞𝐲𝐮𝐧

Jake never stops watching you.

From the moment he sinks inside you, he’s completely fixated, eyes dark, wild, blown-out, lips parted as he gasps, his chest already heaving, sweat already glistening at his temples.

When you start moving, when you grind down slow, teasing, dragging it out just to watch him suffer, he whines. Loud.

“Princess, f-fuck—look at me.”

His voice is already shaking, so wrecked, so needy, and it makes you clench down around him just to see what it does to him.

His mouth drops open, his brows scrunch tight, his thighs tremble beneath you as he lets out a desperate, high-pitched moan, fingers digging into your hips, gripping tight like you’re the only thing keeping him grounded.

But then you close your eyes.

Just for a second, just because the pleasure is so intense, just because it’s too much

Jake fucking breaks.

“No, no, no, no—baby, please—” His hands fly up to your face, cupping your cheeks, desperate, frantic, breathless.“Look at me. Fucking look at me while you use me—please, please, princess, I need to see you.”

You force your eyes open, and the moment your gaze locks onto his, he whimpers so loudly it sounds like a sob. His body twitches violently beneath you, his lips wet and parted, trembling, his expression completely wrecked, helpless, slutty.

“Oh, f-fuck—fuck, that’s it, baby, please, please don’t stop,” His voice catches mid-moan, breaking apart, raw and high-pitched. His stomach flexes hard, his jaw goes completely slack, and he lets out this long, drawn-out, whiny little gasp as you grind down harder.

You lean in close, whispering against his parted lips.

“So needy, Jakey,” you tease, letting your nails drag down his heaving chest, watching as his body jerks violently. “You really wanna watch yourself get fucked that bad?”

Jake nods so fast it’s pathetic, his eyes fluttering, barely able to stay open but still trying.

“Yes, yes, baby—please, fuck, I can’t— I need to see you, need to see your face when you break me,” He gasps again, shaking, his breath catching in his throat, his fingers twitching against your skin.

You start riding him rougher, faster, and he wails.

Loud. Whimpering. So fucking desperate it makes you dizzy.

“O-oh, oh my—f-fuck,” His mouth hangs open, panting, moaning, completely overwhelmed, completely gone. His hips stutter, his thighs shaking uncontrollably, and his voice rises, breaking into a string of whiny, high-pitched moans.

But the moment you start to close your eyes again,

Jake grabs your chin, hard.

“Princess, please—keep looking at me, please, please, please, I need you to see how fucking ruined I am for you.”

His head falls back against the pillows, his jaw dropping, his lips parted so wide in a wrecked moan that it’s almost obscene. His eyes flutter but stay open, his fingers digging into your skin like he can’t handle it.

“F-fuck—oh, God—p-please, princess—” His voice breaks entirely, breath stuttering, body trembling beneath you. “Oh my God—f-fuck, I’m cumming, I’m cumming—baby, please look at me while I fucking cum.”

The moment your eyes stay locked onto his,

Jake wails.

His entire body tenses, shakes, jerks violently, his chest heaving, abs clenching, his lips forming your name over and over again in breathless, desperate, whimpering moans.

He keeps his eyes on you the whole fucking time.

Even when he’s spilling inside you, even when his voice cracks into gasps and whines and helpless, filthy pleas, even when he looks so utterly fucking ruined that he can’t even function,

He still won’t look away.

Even after, when he’s panting, shaking, body twitching from the aftershocks, he still has the strength to hold your face in his hands, breathing hard, swallowing thickly.

And with his voice raw, hoarse, completely wrecked, he grins up at you, lips swollen, eyes still full of hunger.

“God, princess,” he breathes, licking his lips, sweaty, flushed, still desperate for more.“You almost fucking killed me. But at least,” His voice drops, filthy, teasing, needy .“You looked me in the eyes while you did it.”

𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐒𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐧

You knew Sunghoon would be hot on camera.

But you didn’t know he would look this fucking good.

It starts as a joke, a teasing little comment you make while you’re riding him, slow and deep, dragging it out just to watch him break. His glasses are slightly fogged, his head is tipped back against the pillows, and his lips, God, his lips, are parted, wet and swollen from how often he’s been biting them.

“Let’s make a movie,” you whisper, grinning breathlessly, reaching for your phone.

Sunghoon doesn’t say a word.

He just smirks, but the expression shatters immediately when you start rolling your hips again, taking him deeper, dragging your nails down his abs just to feel how fucking tight they’re pulled. His head lolls back, his jaw going slack, lips parting even wider as a low, shaky groan spills out of his throat.

You aim the camera right at his face.

Fuck, he looks unreal.

His brows are furrowed, tightly drawn together in pure, aching pleasure, his cheeks flushed pink, his eyes fluttering shut every time you squeeze around him. His mouth hangs open, but at some points, no sound even comes out—just sharp, shallow breaths, his throat working as he swallows hard, trying to hold himself together.

You bite your lip, watching him through the screen.

“You should see yourself, baby,” you murmur, free hand reaching down to stroke over his jaw, tilting his face toward you. His skin is hot, damp, trembling beneath your fingers. “You look so fucking pretty like this. All ruined for me.”

Sunghoon groans, low and deep, the sound vibrating through his chest. His fingers flex against your thighs, like he wants to grab you, take control, flip you over and fuck you senseless.

But the second you start grinding against him harder, faster, making the bed creak beneath you.

He shudders violently, his entire body tensing, his breath catching hard in his throat.

And then he falls completely silent.

For a few seconds, he doesn’t make a single noise.

His head tips all the way back, jaw dropped, brows still furrowed so tight they look painful. His lips part wider, but he’s so fucking lost in it that no sound even comes out anymore, just deep, desperate breaths, shaky and broken.

Then finally a low, guttural groan escapes, long and drawn-out, his abs contracting beneath your hands, his thighs tensing under you. His fingers clutch at your hips, but he’s too fucked-out to even hold on properly, his grip slipping every time you move.

“Doll, fuck,” he gasps, his voice wrecked, completely gone. He still doesn’t lift his head, still doesn’t open his eyes.

But you don’t need him to.

Because the camera is catching all of it.

The way his chest rises and falls unevenly, the way his lips stay wet and parted, the way his throat works every time he swallows around another wrecked, whimpering moan.

And when you tilt the camera slightly, making sure to catch the way his stomach flexes every time he jerks his hips up into you, trying to chase his high,

He completely falls apart.

His breath hitches sharply, his whole body going taut, his hands gripping the sheets so hard his knuckles turn white.

Then comes the sound.

The deep, gritty, almost pained groan that tears from his throat as his orgasm crashes into him full-force, making his hips stutter, his chest heave, his head tilt back even further.

His lips stay open, still breathing heavily, his lashes fluttering but never fully closing, his brows still furrowed in that agonizingly beautiful look of pleasure-pain. His body shudders uncontrollably, his breath coming out in deep, ragged gasps, his entire expression wrecked beyond belief.

You stop recording.

For a moment, all you can hear is the sound of both of you trying to catch your breath. Sunghoon still hasn’t moved, hasn’t opened his eyes, his face still frozen in that stunned, pleasure-drunk expression.

But then you press play.

Suddenly, his own moans are echoing back at him.

Sunghoon’s eyes snap open.

His gaze immediately drops to your phone, watching the way his own jaw drops, his own chest heaves, his own body writhes beneath you like he’s completely helpless.

He loses his fucking mind.

“Jesus fucking Christ,” he mutters, swiping the phone from your hands, sitting up, gripping your ass as he watches himself come undone. His lips are slightly parted, his pupils blown-out, his breathing still uneven, but the way his eyes darken as he watches himself on camera is filthy.

He licks his lips, a slow smirk curling at the edges as he glances up at you.

“You turned me into a fucking slut, doll.”

His grip tightens, and the next thing you know, you’re being flipped onto your back, your knees pushed up to your chest. “You better be ready,” he murmurs, pressing a kiss to your jaw, his lips still swollen from moaning so much. “Because I’m about to return the fucking favor.”

𝐊𝐢𝐦 𝐒𝐮𝐧𝐨𝐨

Sunoo is so quiet at first.

Not because he’s holding back—he physically can’t make a sound.

The second you sink down onto him, his whole body shudders, his chest stuttering with shallow breaths, his head tilting back against the pillow as his lips part in pure, soundless bliss. His fingers twitch against your waist, like he’s trying to grab onto something, anything, but he’s too weak, too shaky and overwhelmed to do more than let them rest there.

The noises he makes? So fucking pretty.

Soft, breathy little moans, helpless whimpers, tiny gasps that he can’t even hold back.

His eyes don’t meet yours—he’s staring at your body, at the way you move on top of him, completely mesmerized. His brows furrow, his bottom lip trembles, his abs tighten, and when you roll your hips just right, his lips part even wider, his breath catching in his throat like he’s forgotten how to exhale.

You lean down, pressing your lips to his ear, your voice low and sultry as you whisper,

“What’s wrong, baby?” You let your tongue flick against his earlobe, and his whole body twitches violently beneath you. “Too much? Can’t handle how good this pussy feels?”

Sunoo lets out a high, broken gasp, his fingers digging into your thighs, his chest rising and falling like he’s struggling to breathe.

Still, no words.

Just whimpers, breathless and desperate, moans that get higher every time you grind down on him.

“You like watching yourself disappear inside me, don’t you?” you tease, dragging your nails down his stomach, feeling the way his abs clench tight beneath your touch. “You like watching me ride you like this—watching me use you?”

His eyes flicker up to yours, glassy, dazed, ruined, and he looks so fucking gone that your stomach clenches.

But he still doesn’t speak.

Instead, he lets out the prettiest, quietest little moan, his hands twitching against your hips, his thighs shaking as he struggles to stay grounded.

“You sound so pretty, baby,” you murmur, pressing open-mouthed kisses down his throat, feeling the way his pulse is racing beneath your lips. “So fucking desperate, whining for me like this. I bet you don’t even know how wrecked you look right now.”

His breath catches violently.

His body jerks beneath you, his lips falling open in a choked, shuddering moan, his head pressing deeper into the pillow. His eyes roll back for half a second before refocusing on your body again, completely dazed.

Still, he doesn’t speak.

Only moans.

Whines.

Helpless, shaky little sounds, breathless gasps, tiny, needy whimpers that slip out every time you clench around him.

But when you start moving faster, bouncing harder, chasing your own high,

His body locks up beneath you.

His thighs tremble violently, his fingers grip at your waist so tight they shake, and his moans turn into a soft, helpless string of high-pitched gasps, each one getting louder, more desperate.

You lean down, whispering, “Be a good boy and cum for me, baby,”

He completely breaks.

His back arches, his jaw goes slack, his brows draw together painfully tight, his eyes lock onto your body one last time before rolling back as he finally fucking lets go.

He still doesn’t speak.

He just moans through the whole thing, soft, breathy, completely overwhelmed, his breath stuttering violently as his hips jerk up helplessly beneath you.

His fingers twitch, his stomach flexes, his legs shake so bad he nearly sobs from overstimulation.

When it’s over—when you press a soft kiss to his lips, pulling back to look at his wrecked, blissed-out face,

His lashes flutter, his eyes barely opening, and he finally whimpers out one tiny, breathy little word, voice barely above a whisper.

“More.”

𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐠 𝐉𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐰𝐨𝐧

Jungwon is your sweet baby—until he’s balls deep inside you.

Then he’s nothing but a fucking animal.

No hesitation, no restraint—just pure, wanton, gut-wrenching, brain-melting depravity.

And his face when he fucks you?

Fucking disgusting.

His lips are parted, wet and pink and swollen, his teeth digging into his bottom lip so hard it turns red, his entire expression contorted in sheer, unhinged pleasure. His brows furrow painfully tight, his cheeks flush deep pink, his jaw clenches, unclenches, his throat working hard as he gasps for air.

But he doesn’t look at you.

Not at your face.

His eyes are glued to your body—watching your tits bounce every time his cock splits you apart, watching your stomach bulge every time he bottoms out.

“Holy f-fucking shit,” he gasps, voice wrecked, raspy, primal, his fingers digging so hard into your waist you know you’ll bruise. “Look at you, baby—look at this fucking mess.”

Your body shakes, your breath hitches, and when your eyes start to roll back,

Jungwon grins.

It’s filthy.

“There it is.” His voice drips with satisfaction, with something possessive, dark, depraved. “That’s what I fucking wanted. That’s what this pussy’s made for, taking me so deep you can’t even fucking think.”

And he does it again.

Slams his cock into you so deep you feel it in your stomach, presses his palm against the bulge just to make you feel every inch of it, watches the way your tits bounce, the way your entire body convulses beneath him.

“Fucking take it,” he grits out, hips slamming into yours, sweat dripping from his jaw onto your chest. “Take it. Fucking take it. Let me hear you scream for it.”

You do. You fucking wail.

And it just makes him go harder.

Makes him lose his fucking mind.

“Good fucking girl,” he groans, head falling back for a second, a deep, primal moan ripping from his throat. “Taking me so fucking deep, letting me ruin this fucking pussy.”

And then his eyes drop back down,

Right to your stomach.

Right to the place where he’s stuffed so deep you can see the outline of him.

He presses his palm against it again, harder this time, growling when your walls clamp down around him.

“Oh my f-fucking God—” His breath stutters violently, his abs contracting, his lips parting wider, his voice cracking mid-moan. “You feel that, baby? Feel how deep I am? Feel how I’m wrecking your fucking insides?”

You can’t even speak anymore.

Can’t even breathe.

You’re just writhing beneath him, sobbing, shaking, too fucking gone to do anything but take it.

And he fucking loves it.

“Shit, shit, shit,” he grits out, his pace turning brutal, relentless, obscene. “I can’t stop, baby—I can’t fucking stop. I need this pussy. I need to fuck you like this. I need to keep fucking you until you can’t fucking walk.”

His voice is so raw, so wrecked, so needy it sends you spiraling.

And when you start cumming again, when your body convulses violently, when your walls clench so fucking tight around him that he nearly collapses,

Jungwon loses it.

His moans turn loud, desperate, frantic, his fingers shaking, his thighs trembling, his breath hitching, his stomach flexing so hard he looks like he’s in pain.

His cock throbs, his rhythm breaks, his moans turn ragged and raw as he slams into you one last time, stuffing himself so deep you swear you can feel him in your fucking throat.

“Oh f-fuck—fuck, baby, fuck, fuck, f-fuck—”

His entire body locks up.

His back arches, his jaw drops open, his breath catches mid-moan, and then he groans deep from his chest, low and long and so fucking filthy you feel it vibrate through your entire body.

He keeps fucking into you, even as he cums, even as his thighs shake, even as his moans turn into breathless, whimpering gasps, even as his grip on you goes slack.

Even when it’s over, he’s still panting, still groaning softly, his head falling forward, his forehead pressing to your shoulder, his fingers twitching against your waist.

Finally—finally—he lifts his head.

His lips are red and swollen, his brows are still furrowed, his cheeks are flushed, his breath is ragged, and he just looks at you.

He slowly lifts his head.

And smiles.

It’s sweet. Soft. Gentle.

The kind of smile he’d give you in passing, the kind that would make anyone else think he’s just a boy in love.

Then he kisses your forehead, presses his lips to your temple, and murmurs—so lovingly, so tenderly,

“You’re so good for me, baby. I just love making you feel special.”

𝐍𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐦𝐮𝐫𝐚 𝐑𝐢𝐤𝐢

Sex with Riki never starts serious.

It always starts with smirks, teasing, little half-laughs and cocky remarks that make you want to wipe that stupid fucking grin off his face.

Tonight is no different.

He leans back against the pillows, completely relaxed, arms folded behind his head, legs spread wide, his cock standing hard and flushed between you. His eyes trace your body, lazy and smug, lips curled into that slow, teasing grin.

“You’re taking your sweet time, sweetheart,” he murmurs, tilting his head, watching you hover over him, letting his thick cock drag through your slick folds. “You scared or something?”

You roll your eyes, settling onto his lap, grabbing his cock in your hand just to make him suck in a sharp breath through his teeth.

“You talk so fucking much,” you murmur, dragging the thick, leaking tip against your clit, teasing the both of you.

Riki smirks, watching the way you slide him against your swollen pussy, but his lips part slightly when you start to sink down onto him.

When you take him all at once, no hesitation.

His face completely drops.

The smirk dies.

His lips fall open in a silent, breathless moan, his chest stutters against yours, his fingers fly to your hips, gripping them hard like he just lost control of himself.

“F-fuck,” he gasps, head tilting back against the pillow, throat bobbing, breath shuddering.

His voice?

So soft.

Barely there, a ghost of a whisper, like the pleasure just ripped it straight from his chest.

You can see him trying to fight it—trying to hold onto that cocky confidence.

But the second you grind down onto him, slow and deep, rolling your hips so he’s completely buried inside you—

His breath catches again.

His chest stutters, his lips part even wider, and his voice comes out in the quietest, most trembling little whisper,

“Oh, sweetheart…”

His lashes flutter, his hands squeeze your hips like he doesn’t know if he wants to stop you or pull you down harder, and his head lolls forward slightly, jaw slack, eyes barely open.

“You always get so quiet when you’re about to fall apart,” you murmur, grinning as you reach up, dragging your fingers through his sweat-damp hair.

Riki lets out a small, breathy laugh, tilting his head slightly so your fingers drag along his scalp.

“Mm.” He hums, voice airy, distant, still breathless. “Or maybe I’m just enjoying myself, my love.”

Just when you think he’s still in control,

He grabs you.

Pulls you down.

Presses his forehead against yours.

His lips barely brush yours, but he doesn’t kiss you—he just holds you there, his nose nudging against yours, his breath shaky against your mouth.

He whispers again—so soft, so quiet, so fucking intimate.

“Stay right here, sweetheart. Keep your forehead against mine.”

Your breath shudders.

Your hands grip his shoulders, nails digging into his damp, sweat-sticky skin, because he’s holding you so close, so tight, so desperate.

Neither of you open your eyes.

Neither of you break apart.

Just forehead to forehead, noses brushing, lips trembling against each other’s breath, completely lost in the feeling.

You move again, when you start fucking him properly.

His moans turn into choked, breathless little gasps.

“F-fuck,” he pants, his voice shaking, breaking apart. His hands twitch at your hips, pressing you down harder, forcing you to take him even deeper.

And then he lets out the softest, most delicate little whimper.

So soft.

So breathless.

So wrecked.

His lips brush against yours as he moans, his eyelashes flutter against your cheek, his breath stutters every time you squeeze around him.

And then, so quiet, so trembling, so completely gone,

“Don’t let go.”

His fingers press deeper into your back, his forehead presses harder against yours, his breath turns shallow and erratic.

The moment you whisper, “I won’t,”

His moans cut off into choked little gasps, body jerking, thighs twitching, stomach flexing as he completely fucking falls apart.

He still doesn’t let go.

Even as he cums, hips stuttering, breath hitching, body writhing beneath you, forehead still glued to yours like he physically can’t pull away.

Even as he whimpers your name, voice shaking, breathless, completely wrecked.

Even as his entire body trembles through the aftershocks, gasping for air, clinging to you like he needs you to keep him alive.

He finally collapses back against the bed, still holding onto you, still breathing hard, still moaning softly against your lips,

You pull back, just a little.

Just enough to see his face—his swollen, parted lips, his flushed cheeks, his dazed, heavy-lidded eyes, completely blissed-out and ruined.

When he finally opens them, finally blinks up at you,

A small, breathless laugh escapes his lips.

“Holy shit,” he mutters, still panting, voice so wrecked and hoarse you barely recognize it.

You grin, teasing. “What happened to being in control?”

Riki lets out another weak, exhausted little laugh, his fingers twitching against your skin as he pulls you back down against him, lips brushing your ear.

Then—so quiet, so soft, so fucking filthy,

“Shut up and keep fucking me.”

-

TL: @naurwayyyyy @ziiao @somuchdard @ijustwannareadstuff20 @ddolleri @beariegyu @zzhengyu @annybah @seonhoon @elairah @dreamy-carat @geniejunn @kristynaaah @zoemeltigloos @mellowgalaxystrawberry @inlovewithningning @vveebee @m3wkledreamy @lovelycassy @highway-143 @koizekomi @tiny-shiny @simbabyikeu @cristy-101 @bloomiize @dearestdreamies @enhaverse713586 @cybe4 @starniras @wonuziex

[yjw1a1]

hear me out... the kinks of the soul tie boys - it's not a want it's a NEED

The soul tie boys - Kinks

Heeseung:

- these two mf’ers is kinky

- he will whisper the filthiest shit in your ear when he finish a concert and you will all but drag him home to make him spent that last bit of energy

- overstimulation; you can feel each others pain, and I feel like Heeseung wouldn’t mind suffering since he knew you were too

- he wouldn’t stop until both of your minds were in shambles

- sometimes you would get him back though, by simple orgasm denial. Typically this would be if he had been particularly bad the night before - and you would always do it before a concert, leaving him absolutely desperate

- I also feel like who ever shared walls with you when he dragged you along on tour would need earplugs, he would definitely be vocal, and he wouldn’t stop until you had been screaming his name at least 3 times

Jay:

- breeding. Look I don’t care if it’s not your thing because it is his

- Jay just wanna be inside of you, raw. If it was up to him he would do nothing else than sloppy thrust in and out of you while he circled your clit

- He would fill you over and over and mark you as his. He would know he was yours, but he would still have a need to ruin you for anyone else

- I do however think this is purely from a dominant pov and not because he’s ready to start a family, not yet at least.

- He’a a romantic after all and he would never cum before you did, ever, he would make sure of it

Jake:

- Jake would like the other two not care a lot about what anyone were to think, and he would most definitely be into public sex

- that’s also why you two would have your own car unlike the others who usually would ride together

- he would fuck you in the back seat, the devider to the driver would be up ofc, and he would have your cheek pressed up against the window as they drove through the streets

- and this was a fancy car so people would try to look in whenever they were holding in a light and he absolutely loved it

- a vibrator in your panties was a common thing when you were out on dates. He could be a little sinister from time to time

Sunghoon:

- A little more on the vanilla side compared to the other three. but he just liked to take you deeply.

- a tummy bulge would drive him insane and soon it would be one of the reasons he took you with slow and deep thrusts

- the first time you pressed down on him with your hand he absolutely lost his mind

- you would switch up on him once in a while and he would lose himself to the sweet words and commands you would throw at him, begging and pleading for him to take control again. In the end you would always give it to him

Jungwon:

- this man loves and loves to eat you out (I’m so sorry but I had to with these two foodies)

- he would know you were gonna taste divine whenever he came home from tours because he would taste the pineapple you would be eating all week up until they got back

- he also had an obsession with making you squirt, and whenever he made you do it on his tongue he would be so so proud.

- so much so that the rest of the guys would roll their eyes at his smug attitude

Sunoo:

- he’s a sweet and kind angel, definitely. But don’t let his looks fool you

- he is a pleasure dom. I don’t fucking care what anyone says; in this universe he is.

- I can just imagine him tying you up and just going to town, making you see colors and stars beneath the headband he would have you wear from time to time

- the colors of the marks he would sometimes leave would inspire your art

- you would definitely get punished for being to loud, only he was allowed to hear your sounds

Note: I will not be writing smut about Niki - not until he is at least 21 and even then I might hold back. I really hope you will respect that 🫶🏼

As always - send me an ask if you wanna know anything else

⁺ taglist: @why4anne @juicygirl4life @azzy02 @bluxjun @why-did-i-just-do-this @elairah @ramyeonzwithspam @floating-moon-dust @skyearby @acourtofmoonlightandstars @garrdenwonie @whateveridontcaresheesh @stormy1408 @tunafishyfishylike @sol3chu @spicxbnny @blvengene @fics-lovebot @fangirl125reader @acopenhagenarmy @tunafishyfishylike @lveegsoi @1-itsneverthatserious-1

[yjw1a1]

our little secrets — lhs

© theyluvjake - all rights reserved, no permission to copy or post, this is my only account.

pt1 pt2 pt3 (make sure to read pt1 first if you havent!!)

Synopsis: cam boy heeseung. class president reader. the schools perfect student harbors a dirty secret, a dirty secret thats alot closer to her than she realizes. what happens when their paths cross? will they discover eachothers little secret?

MINORS DNI!

PAIRINGS - camboy!heeseung x innocent!reader

CONTENT - college au, smut & fluff with plot!! series, slow-burn, multiple chapters.

WORDCOUNT - 8k

WARNINGS - smut, this chapter doesn't have any sex (yet), just mutual / guided masturbation. caming, dirty talk, use of pet names (baby, doll, slut), praise & degradation, honestly hand kink. mentions of corruption kink. like last chapter, hee is a bit of a perv. but we like that <3

NOT PROOFREAD!

"ook.. so, what was that all about?" sunghoon sort of spoke underneath his breath. it was silent for a while amongst the group minus some of them taking sips of their drinks.

"she probably just... - had to pee! " sunoo blurtted out to fill the silence, only to make it fall silent again,

"ill go check on her-" yunjin was just about to turn to leave when heeseung stopped her.

"no, i can go check,"

his smile was soft and reassuring. yunjin was slightly taken aback as he volunteered, but her curiosity in whatever was going on with him and his new found interest in you, made her back down, silently agreeing by nodding her head.

maybe it was a bad friend mood sending a guy you didn't really know that well to check on you instead of her, but she just needed to see where it would go... y'know, for the plot.

heeseung swiftly made his way through the crowds of people heading straight to the guest bathroom,

*knocks* "um.. y/n are you okay?" fuck. wait what if its not even her in there?.. –

shit. why is he here?! the sound of his voice instantly sent your mind into a panicked spiral. - umm.. maybe i can just pretend im not in here and he will go away? yea! so you did, and you stayed silent.

"your friends just wanted to make sure you were okay... well and i wanted to talk to you."

he bit his lip, thinking he was probably just making whatever was going on worse. but he couldn't go back to the group without checking on you.

talk?? to me? why? this can't actually be happening right now. – y'know, maybe it's not him? maybe my thoughts are just all clouded... i'm just making up stuff..

— because there's no way. that would just be too insane.

you were full on in denial. it was unfortunately the only thing you realized you could do to get through the night. closing your eyes you took a deep breath before opening the door eyes instantly meeting the boys pretty doe eyed brown ones.

"um, sorry, yea i'm ok! just... had an eyelash in my eye.." you giggled nervously.

"ah, ok ok... i was worried it was something i said.." the corner of his lips tugged upwards as a small rush of relief washed over.

"is.. that what you wanted to talk to me about?"

"yea, well, and i wanted to still offer you that drink" he couldn't help but smirk as he noticed the light flush of pink painting your cheeks.

you paused for a second. "...well, the thing is i just don't really usually drink..."

"yea, and you usually don't go to parties." he chuckled.

he did make a good point. you didn't, so why would you draw the line at your new experiences now. one drink, that's all. it would be fine right?

"that's also true," you smiled, still feeling anxious, but now having a burning curiosity about him. "sure, i'll take one drink"

he nodded satisfied and before you could register anything, his hand moved to your lower back ever so slightly, just to guide the two of you back towards the kitchen.

the simple feeling of his hand just barely grazing, hovering, over your back was sending waves of electricity through your body.

"so, class prez, what are you doing out at a college party tonight?"

"oh.. um, well it was sort of yunjin and sunoo's idea. i wasn't super on board but... i was curious since i'd never been before."

"ah, i see. i was surprised to see you here." he chuckled, "well, i think everyone was" -

you were about to respond when his voice continued on,

"pleasant surprise though," he said ever-so casually.

you gulped down the knot in your throat and tried to steady your racing heartbeat, but thankfully, before you knew it, you reached the kitchen.

you nervously leaned against the counter while he poured the two of you some drinks before he went to pass you the cup. you hadn't yet looked down, hand reaching for the cup, "thank yo-" then you saw it. his hand.

his awfully familiar, perfectly veiny hand, that just so happened to have 2 identical silver rings on the exact fingers gamer.lhee also frequently had ones on.

you couldn't even finish your sentence before you mumbled something along the lines of 'you had to go', before embarrassingly turning around and completely sprinting away from him.

not long after your disappearing act with heeseung you stayed on the other side of the house, hidden behind yunjin and sunoo, before you managed to make a good enough excuse to leave.

—

after you had gotten home that night, you refused to even look at his page. although that was all your mind wanted to do, to end the burning question and just try and confirm or not confirm that it was him. but you couldn't. not when it felt so possible. not when you knew you had to be in class with him tomorrow.

you attempted to get as good of a night's rest as you could. but it wasn't much, not when you basically got home at 1 am, and weren't able to shut your brain off until around 3 before you could sleep. leaving you with approximately only 5 hours of sleep the next day.

in the morning, you got ready for class, your usual almost uniform-like attire. you just prayed you'd be able to make it through the day without anyone asking about you at the party last night. and above all, not running into heeseung.

you were so embarrassed, you honestly had no clue what you would be able to say to him. it's not like the two of you interacted much, anyways. so why would it be different? yea! it will be fine!

besides before the conversation you two had at the party, you weren't even aware you shared the same literature and physics class, meaning he probably typically sat far across the room from the spot you always sat in. so in theory, all you had to do was try and focus and not think about whether you could feel his eyes lingering on you or not.

however you did not plan for what you saw when you walked into your literature class. lee heeseung, already there, sitting in your chair. sure, there wasn't technically, 'assigned seats' but everyone in the class knew, you sat in that spot every single class.

karma. you weren't sure what for, but this had to be some kind of cruel form of karma. you stood in the doorway for a little too long, to where students now had to nudge past you to get inside the classroom. you were just trying to think of any possible way out of this interaction. but you couldn't avoid him forever. you took a deep breath, fully aware your cheeks had definitely started to turn pink, before walking over to your seat.

heeseung instantly looked up at you with a smirk painting his face, "what? i just figured I'd see how the class president's view of the classroom looks." he shrugged.

"well... now that you've tested it out, could i possibly have my seat back?"

"i don't know... now that i've tried it out, i realized how nice the view is... plus, i'm not doing that great in this class, i think maybe sitting closer will help me with my notes~"

"but-"

"well the seat right next to me is open, you should sit there. you don't mind if i just have yours for the day, right?"

he still wore the same playful smirk on his face, only leading to your face heating up more by the second. you briefly took a look around, at the room, and then the clock. noticing how it was only a couple minutes until the class was starting, and pretty much every empty seat had already filled except for the one next to heeseung.

you sighed and set your books down on the desk, and reluctantly took a seat next to him. before you could even appreciate the shared silence between you two for not even a minute,

"y'know, i didn't really expect you to be the type to ghost a guy mid-sentence."

you gulped and tried to come up with some better excuse but you had nothing.

"yea... um i'm really sorry about that, i don't usually do that or anything.."

he raised his eyebrows curious as to the actual reason to why you ran off, but he didn't push further, instead he chose to use it to tease you.

he chuckled lightly, "don't worry about it, you looked cute running away from me"

he said so matter-of-factly that your jaw almost dropped before you heard the professor speaking, causing the class to finally silence.

"ok class, everyone phones away"

the rest of class, you could barely focus. which was completely unlike you. you couldn't stop thinking about the words.. "pretty", "cute" replaying on loop in your head. as much as you wanted to just pay attention, you couldn't, not when he was only a couple feet away from you.

he easily took note of it too. subtly glancing over at your dazed, flustered expression throughout the entire class.

thankfully, the rest of the class no other words were exchanged. no more teasing or flirty remarks, you finally felt a bit of relief like that was the worst of what would come out of today. but heeseung, he had other plans, he was just starting. this was only your first of three shared classes of the day and his main goal was just to get your attention in every single one.

your next class, you got a break. and then it was on to the two last classes of the day, both of which you shared. economics, and physics.

when you got to your economics class, you took a look around, noticing he wasn't there yet. you quickly took your seat in your usual spot before yunjin joined on your left side.

"ugh, i am so tired," she whined to you,

"tell me about it..." you muttered underneath your breath. the class slowly filled as you chatted with your best friend for the remaining time before the class started. getting so distracted you forgot about heeseung. it wasn't until a little while into class, you heard a familiar voice whispering in your ear. your eyes went wide.

"hey, what page were we on again?"

heeseung. you had been so distracted you failed to even notice heeseung had came in and sat directly behind you.

you carefully turned your head just a little before realizing how close his face was to yours. "um-.. it's 32" you quickly whispered directing your attention back to the front of the room.

"thanks, pretty" he winked before leaning back into his own chair, smiling satisfied.

the heat instantly rose to your face upon hearing the familiar nickname again. the same one that ignited a visceral reaction within you that night at the party, due to the familiarity of the tone, the voice.

the remainder of the class, he continued making up excuses to teasingly lean over, whispering into your ear and your best friend was nothing short of intrigued.

as soon as the professor turned away from the class his lips were practically pressed up against your ear and you felt like you were going insane.

"hey, i missed that part, could i take a quick look at your notes?" he hummed quietly, face so close to yours you could feel his hot breath fanning your ear.

"s-sure, just.. quick" you muttered quietly afraid of being caught speaking while your professor was still mid-lecture.

you carefully passed your notebook over your shoulder, his hands taking it from yours, purposely brushing his fingers over yours in the process. - anxiously tapping the floor with your foot, waiting for him to give it back to you.

"are you almost done?" you slightly leaned to the side, whispering, as the professor had turned around and continued speaking, and you were anxious to have your notebook returned.

"yea, you want it back?" the boy smirked, not that you could see, but you could feel it through the smugness in his voice.

"say please~."

he cannot be serious. "what..?"

"just say please"

you sighed, ignoring the hammering of your heart against your chest.

"please?" you whispered, looking straight forward. but it was more than enough. right as the professor turned away for a brief second, he leaned over enough to place your notebook back onto your desk.

looking down, you quickly made yourself busy, continuing to take notes and try to stuff down all the emotions flowing through your body. that's when you noticed a tiny note written in the corner of your paper.

you look cute when you're blushing. ;)

and just like that you were sure your face was now completely red.

"hey are you okay?" yunjin leaned over noticing how red you were.

"yeah, i'm just hot.. it's a little hot in here" you muttered before removing your sweater.

thankfully the class was nearing the end, finally. as soon as the class was dismissed you quickly packed up your bag and grabbed yunjin's hand rushing the both of you out of the classroom.

"so... what the hell was heeseung doing all up in your space the whole class??"

"i don't know!"

"oh my god, that's why your face was red! you were blushing! do you have a crush on him?? since when?!"

"shut up!" you whispered trying to keep her from practically yelling about this in the hallway. "no! i don't, so since never."

"okayy well can't say the same for him..~" she giggled and you hit her arm.

"shut up. you're imagining stuff." you huffed before the both of you made it into your physics classroom.

this time you were determined to make sure he couldn't sit near you. quickly hopping into the seat next to jake and instructing yunjin to sit on your other side, before you also waved sunoo over, who had just come walking in the door to sit behind you. a sigh of relief left your mouth, seeing how all the seats in your close proximity had already been filled.

you hadn't even noticed heeseung walking in, and taking the seat across from yunjin.

"hey y/n!" jake smiled at you and your gaze lifted greeting him back with a friendly smile.

"hey jake!" - "how was the party last night? everyone was surprised to see you there, did you have fun?"

"oh yea, it was fun.. i guess, - not exactly my thing though." you chuckled quietly before continuing your friendly chit-chat with jake before the class eventually came to a start.

jake was easy to talk to. you two weren't exactly close, but closer than you and heeseung. jake was really good at physics. everyone knew that, so there were a few times he helped you out by offering a few quick study sessions after school at the library. so naturally the two of you did talk when it came to this class.

thankfully, the rest of this class went by smoothly. it was just about nearing the end before the professor announced you would be doing a partner assignment.

"so, pick someone to pair up with. this will be due next week, so please make sure to schedule some time outside of class to work on this with your partner. once you have chosen, before you leave today, just come write down your partnership!"

before you could think,

"hey, do you wanna be partners?" jake smiled, turning to you. and you almost sighed in relief. though yunjin, who had also turned to you, rolled her eyes.

"sure! honestly, i could use some extra help with this unit.. " you smiled to him before the two of you walked to the front of the class to write your names down.

none of which went un-noticed by heeseung. practically burning holes into his friends back. before he could stare any longer he got a backup plan in mind, turning to your best friend just before she had turned to sunoo. "hey, yunjin, do you wanna be partners?"

she was caught off guard at first but then she put 2 and 2 together figuring this was some effort to still get close to you. "sure" she smiled and sunoo rolled his eyes dramatically.

"ugh, i hate you both, you are both the worst." he pouted before turning to sunghoon, "sunghoon, do you have a partner?"

the boy pushed up his glasses before looking up "uh, no?"

"ok, now you do, come on," he said giving him almost no room to even argue before they both walked up to the front together as well.

after all of you had written down your partnerships you all exited the lecture hall agreeing to go to the library so you guys could plan what days you needed to get together to work on the assignment.

"y'know, why don't we all just get together at our house and we can all work together? heeseung was quick to suggest as soon as you all sat down.

"don't the three of you also share a dorm already?" he asked pointing to you yunjin and sunoo to which you all nodded.

"so, since jake, sunghoon, and i share a place and ours is bigger than a dorm, we should all just meet up together there." all of you looked around to see what everyone thought, and it was quickly agreed upon that that was a good idea.

not that you agreed necessarily, but you were quickly outnumbered, on top of that yunjin's enthusiasm was utterly confusing. you all agreed to meet up on friday to work on the assignment. all of you exchanging numbers before going on your separate ways.

—

the next few days rolled around and heeseung seemed to have let down on his teasing for a little bit, and thank god. because you were already stressed about friday the rest of the week. then, thursday came around. your phone dinged as you lay in your bed rolling around on your phone, seeing the notification pop up,

gamer.lhee is live now!

you hadn't even been on his page since the party last sunday. but you couldn't even deny how much you missed it without more time to think, you joined the stream.

you sat up feeling the heat rising to your face, he was fully clothed, the angle just showing his lap and his hands fidgeting with his rings while he chatted with those on the stream.

blushy.baby has entered the chat

"hi blushy.baby, welcome in~" he chuckled to himself, reading the username. oddly or maybe not, it reminded him of you. "cute username, reminded me of someone,"

who??

maybe he has a girlfriend?

maybe a crush?

the comments started rolling in, causing him to chuckle a bit more. "no, i don't have a girlfriend," he clarified, but carefully neglected the ones regarding if he had a crush or not. causing you to try and swallow the lump in your throat. intently watching between the screen and the chat room.

"blushy baby, joins but never talks~ is it because you're shy and blushy~?"

you felt the air get caught in your throat, hearing him single out your username. making your head spin, could he... know? fuck. no! i mean, it's probably not even lee heeseung. like you said, there's no way.

"it's okay, it's cute, i have a thing for cute shy girls." he hummed

blushy.baby: really?

"yes, something about.. about them, i don't know,.. maybe i have a corruption kink." he chuckled darkly before trailing off again ", proud of you for finally commenting something, baby. keep it up, yeah?"

and just like that you carefully squeezed your thighs together. fuck. it wasn't until now, when the comments were so direct, so personal, that you realized how much you loved hearing praises from him. if there was any way to keep you commenting, this was it.

blushy.baby: i will if you keep talking to me like that...

"oh yea?, you like being praised baby, hm? "

"- i was wondering what i should do for today's stream... maybe we can do some praising. maybe some guided masturbation? what do you pretty dolls think?"

the chat instantly sped up with enthusiasm and he chuckled at the eagerness.

"you're gonna be good for me, right?" he hummed his hand lightly grazing over his crotch area where you should start to see the outline of his boner growing.

"alright, now be a good girl for me and take off your pants first hm? dont worry ill follow along." he said as he carefully lifted his hips up in his chair before pulling down his pants leaving him in just his boxer briefs.

like you were put under some sort of trance, you set your phone down against your pillow before lifting your own hips and pulling down your pajama shorts leaving you in just your underwear.

"thats it, just like that," he hummed satisfied, and it almost felt like he could see you. like it was just you and him.

"okay, now leave your panties on, just touch outside for me, hm? just like this" his hand slowly started to stroke the outline of his hardened cock through the strained fabric of his boxers.

and you did the same, slipping your hand down cupping yourself, feeling the moistened material of your underwear clinging to your skin already. letting out a small helpless mutter.

"you're already wet for me arent you? dirty slut."

the sudden use of such degrading words, mixed with his still soft tone, and praises l make your hips shudder. you liked that too... really liked it.

"its ok though, b',cus you're my pretty little slut~, aren't you?" he cooed before letting a small deep chuckle breathe past his lips. he continued, painstakingly slowly stroking himself, the wet patch from his pre-cum leaking out now evident, only soaking you more as you stared at the screen and continued to palm yourself.

"ok lets get rid of these now too, they are in the way." he lifted his hips again just enough to slowly pull down his boxers simultaneously also pulling his shirt over his head. letting his big, stiff and hardened cock hit his stomach as it sprang out.

"look what you do to me.." he grabbed himself in his hand making sure the camera got a good angle of his angry red tip, leaking of pre-cum. "wish i could see what i do to you..." he hummed slowly starting to stroke himself.

on the other side of the screen you were practically drooling just at the sight. your hips needily rutting against your hand. before you too removed the last remaining of your clothes.

"go on, touch yourself." his voice was low and demanding. and it didn't take long for your fingers to slowly start circling your clit.

"mm, thats it baby" he hummed. "now, i want you to imagine its my fingers ok? not yours, mine touching you."

you gulped and closed your eyes doing just as he said and the second you let your imagination roam the better it felt. imagining what his large hands, long fingers would feel like all over you. having the precision that you lacked deeply.

"good girl." - "faster."

at this point, you could barely suppress the whines leaving your mouth, but fearing your roommates would hear you, you turned your head to the side muffling the sounds into the pillow as best you could.

"fuck, i wish i was inside you right now. wanna fuck your tight little cunt." he moaned lowly. and little did you know, the entire time he was thinking about you. about fucking you.

the dirtiness of the words made your brain start to feel weird and fuzzy. your pussy fluttered clenching helplessly around nothing. not even your fingers because still, you had yet to venture into doing anything other than stimulating your clit.

"fuck. im gonna cum. you wanna cum for me, hm baby?" his hand sped up the squelching sounds from the way he was fucking himself into his hand were pounding in your earbuds.

you mindlessly nodded your head as if he could see you, feeling the knot in your stomach building, you were so close.

"lets cum together, yeah? i wanna cum inside you." the sheer thought of that alone sent you flying over the edge the second the words left his lips.

and just like that he started to reach his high as well. imagining what it would feel like to stuff you full. "oh fuck, yes, im coming.." his moans got louder and you continued to rub messy circles on your clit as you rode out your high, your legs and hips shaking and squirming beneath your own touch.

your eyes fluttered open as you slowly started coming down from your immense high. seeing the lewd image on the screen, hee's hand still wrapped around his cock, messy, with cum dripping down everywhere.

"good girl, you did so good for me, pretty." he hummed sweetly. and in that moment you heard it again. not gamer.lhee, lee heeseung. 'pretty'.

it was him.

the sound rang in your ears all you could think about was what it would actually be like to actually be on the receiving end of those words. not through a screen. not to the thousands of others watching him. but to you and only you.

not long after that, the stream ended. leaving you with a world-wind of emotions. but it was already so late. you didn't have time or honestly even the capacity in your brain after all of that to think. you carefully cleaned yourself up before getting back into your bed and passing out almost immediately from exhaustion.

how the fuck. where you going to face him tomorrow.

—

the next morning when you finally woke up, you felt so nervous about the day that you felt physically sick. after the stream last night, it only strengthened your theory on whether or not gamer.lhee was lee heeseung.

you were almost sure of it. and there was no way you could face him today. but yet, you had to.

situation being what it is, you devised a plan, well. kinda. the plan basically entailed ignoring heeseungs presence at all costs. just focus on the project and jake. easy enough, right?

after the day of classes went by, you and your two best friends returned to your shared dorm to get ready before heading over to the boy's house.

"ok, what should we wear?" yunjin spoke almost excitedly as if you were going out to hang out with friends, not work on some boring assignment.

"um... i was gonna wear sweats? what is that not appropriate study attire?" you asked as you walked together through the dorm,

"no that's perfectly appropriate! that's what i was gonna wear too!" sunoo was quick to reassure you only to receive an elbow in the side from yunjin. "OW! what was that-" he rolled his eyes and clutched his side dramatically while giving him a face before continuing with you.

"like sweatshirt and sweatpants?"

"yes?"

"no."

"no?"

"no. how about sweats and a cropped baby tee? still cute but comfy!"

"what is up with you?? why do you care what i wear to work on a school project??" you quickly nipped back at her, unlike your usual demnor, but you were getting slightly irritated, confused as to what the reason for all of this was.

"ok seriously? y/n. heeseung has literally been flirting with you ever since the party, are you that clueless?? i saw all of it in class. plus pretty much all of his friends were eating you with their stares as well. and well, they are all hot. this is your chance!!"

"my chance for what exactly?" you questioned noticing the sudden warmth that had risen to your cheeks. quickly turning away as both of them followed into your room.

"like i don't know, a boyfriend, a sex friend? so many possibilities.." she giggled but not in the way that she was joking, in the way that she was completely and utterly serious. "and that means you admit it right? he was flirting with you!"

"you're crazy. and i don't know! ok! i don't know what's going on with him lately, he's being weird." you obviously were trying to deflect because you obviously couldn't believe let alone admit any of this yet.

"just trust me ok, ill be the best wing-woman, just let me help." she pleaded.

"no, not tonight i need to focus, i need to get a good grade on this project."

yunjin sighed dramatically. "ugh. fine, but you are wearing what i said. i won't interject anything, but the outfit I'm just gonna test a theory ok?"

"whatever.." you finally gave in, just hoping it would make her shut up, and it did. for now at least.

the three of you all got ready which didn't entail all that much since you were already coming from class. you changed into a pair of low-rise baggy grey sweats that pooled at your ankles and paired it with a basic white baby tee that was practically skin tight, just slightly cropped showing the tiniest bit of your stomach. leaving your hair down you fixed your already practically perfect curls, before touching up your flawless makeup.

"you guys ready?" you walked out into the living room finding sunoo, yunjin not far behind.

"yup!"

by the time you guys arrived at the boy's shared house, it was around 4:30pm. yunjin carefully knocked on the door and you anxiously shifted on your feet fidgeting with your school bag before the door was answered. it was jake. you sighed a little in relief.

"hey guys! come on in!" the fluffy-haired boy smiled and the three of you entered into the shared home.

"the guys are in the living room, it's pretty big so we figured we could all just work in there or if it's too loud we can split up around the house, i don't know whatever you guys think works we are cool with!"

jake smiled before leading you all to the living room, not before he got a nice look at you though. he hadn't really taken the time to notice how pretty you were. not until the party when everyone saw you outside of your school persona. but seeing you in his house, in daylight, in casual clothes you looked adorable.

once you reached the living room everyone started to greet each other slowly taking seats around. but as soon as you stepped foot in there you could feel a particularly heavy gaze set on you. heeseung.

you didn't even look at him but you knew it was him. and it was. he didn't even hold back the small lip bite as his eyes drank in your figure from top to bottom only to be brought back to reality when your best friend stepped in front of him.

there was a few other figures lingering around as well. it was jay and jungwon. i guess they didn't need a reason, this is their house but it felt a little strange before the two of them talked. just chatting and letting everyone know they were around if anyone needed help finding anything or food. it was clear though to most that they were just curious, as to what was going on, and more so who was in their house right now.

after everyone got sort of settled in different areas of the room, you and jake took a spot in the corner with some pillows on the floor and spread out your notes and textbooks. "so, did you look over any of the requirements yet?" jake spoke softly,

"oh, uh, no... not yet sorry.." your tone was quickly guilt-ridden and worried before jake was quick to reassure you.

"no, no problem at all, i already did so you didn't have to." he smiled, getting out the instructions given by your professor. "ill just give you a small run-down, and then we can work together on the rest, sound good?" you nodded.

"oh and let me know if im going too fast or you don't understand something, not that you won't... you are like the top student of the school. but just in case y'know,... i know physics isn't your favorite, so honestly, i don't mind doing most of the work!" he smiled reassuringly and for some reason it almost made you blush. you weren't sure exactly why, maybe because you two were finally in such close proximity alone together.

either way, what you hadn't noticed was how heeseung noticed. everything. his jaw was clenched starting holes into jake and you before yunjin brought him back to reality.

"ok, heeseung, could you stop eye-fucking y/n for at least like 5 seconds?"

"what?" heeseung looked back at her barely even acknowledging what she said.

"i agreed to be your partner, god knows why because i know you actually suck at this class, so come on please lets just get something done."

"oh yea... sure, sorry.." he sighed and redirected his focus to the papers infront of him.

about and hour and a half went by and everyone kept to themselves, or moreso, their partnerships. trying to get as much done as possible, before inevitably needing some sort of break.

"my brain hurts..." you whined slightly rubbing your temples. earning a small chuckle from jake.

"we make a pretty good team though, huh? look were almost done in one day!" he gestured down at your work proudly and heeseung overheard the whole thing, getting irritated he walked over to the two of you.

"hey y/n you okay?" your heart dropped hearing the framilar voice, slowly looking up to meet his face.

"oh yea... im fine" you muttered and jake looked up confused as well at the boys sudden approach.

"i just saw you rubbing your head, does it hurt? i have some tylenol if you need some,"

"oh shit, does it? i thought you were just joking around, let me go get some-" jake quickly went to stand up,

"no no!! im fine seriously, i think i just need some water and a snack or something, thats all!"

"say less," jake smiled getting up before offering his hand to help you off the ground aswell, earning a heavy eyeroll from heeseung.

"come on ill show you where we keep the best snacks" he smiled and gently brushed his hand across your lower back guiding you to the kitchen with him. a framilar feeling from when heeseung did the same exact thing to you at the party.

which heeseung instantly noticed and pissed him off even further.

"snacks? hell yea fuck this " sunghoon instantly stood up and so did the others everyone gravitating towards the kitchen for a small snack break.

heeseung followed closely behind the two of you, before he stopped biting his tongue, and decided he had enough of jakes hands on you.

heeseung swiftly came up behind jake,

"hey sim, pretty sure this project doesnt require such a hands-on approach." he glared before turning his direction towards you. jake just looked at his friend confused at the sudden passive aggressive comment.

"you good? you don't need jake to babysit you, right?" heeseung stepped between the two of you creating enough space between the two of you for his comfort. grabbing you a bottle of water from the fridge. "here, and let me know if your head gets worse and you need the tylenol, hm?"

heeseungs sudden attentiveness had your heart racing and your stomach fluttering. and the tension between him and jake was palpable now. you tried to make sure to maintain your composure (you weren't.)

because when you reached out to take the water bottle from his hand you instantly had flashbacks to last night. that hand, his hand, his voice, him. you nearly dropped it when the boy caught it and handed it to you again "careful there pretty, you sure you're okay? –" he leaned in subtly enough to where it wouldn't look suspicious. "or do i just make you nervous" he smirked quickly pulling back before casually taking a seat.

the others were all already sitting around the kitchen table, snacks in hand chatting and eating. You took a seat in the only empty chair, almost as if it was intentional, the only seat open was between both jake and heeseung. You reluctantly sat down anxiously sipping on your water, almost completely silent as the rest of the group chatted among themselves.

"wait, guys i have an idea.." yunjin suddenly speaks up and the misciclanious chatter quiets. "lets play a game... y'know, as a break while were here, - how about truth or dare?"

everyone looks around but it doesnt take but a couple seconds for everyone to agree. partially because all of you were so bored, but mostly because it gave everyone an excuse to procrastinate for a little while longer.

"i'm down" jake and sunghoon immediately responded in which heeseung followed.

"can we play too?" jay and jungwon walked up hearing the commotion from the kitchen.

"the more the merrier!" sunoo clapped his hands excitedly and you almost let your whole head fall on the counter hoping it would hit hard enough to knock you out.

"who wants to go first?"

"ill go!" jungwon quickly volunteered

"ok, truth or dare jungwon?" yunjin asks sitting up on her elbows.

"truth"

"If you had to survive the zombie apocalypse with one person in this room, who would it be?"

jungwon sighed as he looked around thinking deeply about his answer.

"shit... i dont know i feel like im probably fucked with all of you to be honest but, maybe jay or jake? I know jay can fight, and well jake is studying in healthcare so he could probably help keep me alive.."

"yess sirr!" jake chuckled and posed proudly while jay laughed, nodding.

"ok sure, but don't make it seem like i just go around beating people up won..."

the rest of the group went back and forth between some light hearted and casual truths + dares. heeseung, casually pulled out his phone, opening his twitter and deciding to tweet an update to his account as he frequently would. but it was weird,

at the exact same time he tweeted, your phone which was upside-down next to your arm buzzed. weird.

i mean obviously everyone gets notifications, he shouldn't have thought that much of it, but the timing was so perfect. he decided to send another one, and surely enough, your phone buzzed again. his eyebrows immedialty raised. no fucking way.

gamer.lhee: ??

he tweeted a third time, just a random series of question marks and right on time, your phone buzzed, a third and fourth time. and there you were, completely oblivious as to what was happening. too busy listening to the others playing the game to even notice your phone buzzing on the table.

he really had no way to prove it but he had to try. and the fact you were all playing truth or dare made it even easier. he quickly set his phone down and re-focused his attention to the rest of the group.

"ok, heeseung, you haven't gone yet, truth or dare" yunjin smirks and you can only pray to god she doesn't say anything stupid, but you know her.

"truth"

"who in this room would you trust the most with a secret?"

perfect.

"y/n." heeseung quickly and casually responds, to which his best friend gasp offenedly.

"dude are you serious, in a room full of your best friends??" jake scofs

heeseung shrugs, "i don't know, something just tells me that y/n is really good at keeping secrets."

you immediately turned your head, feeling your heartbeat quicken, so fast that it had you debating if you would go into cardiac arrest. why... how.. why would he,,.. why would he say that??? he can't know. how would he know.

you just looked up at him flustered and confused and he just shrugged again keeping the same smug smirk on his face. "am i wrong?" he asked but this time quiet and directed at you.

"ok my turn to ask!" sunoo shouted excitedly, seeing that the questions and dares were starting to pick up in the heat.

"y/n, truth or dare?"

your eyes widened like a warning towards sunoo instantly. what best friends they are. you were practically begging him with your look to go easy on you but you knew he wasn't.

you rubbed your temples trying to gauge which choice would be less lethal. truth, right?

"truth, i guess.."

"ok, when was the last time you thought about kissing someone..." he pauses briefly before finishing the question, "- in this room?"

your face said everything.

"oh?" sunghoon raised his eyebrows curiously as pretty much everyone in the room, except for 3 people seemed surprised. yunjin, sunoo, and heeseung. who wore a smug smirk on his face.

"oh? so, recently then?" sunoo teases further only causing your face to redden even more.

jake quickly also turned his attention to you, although he didn't want to make you even more embarrassed, so he said nothing. just sat in silence wondering who it could be. feeling a slight twinge of jealousy.

"n-no.." your voice quickly betrayed you as your words stumbled out in a stutter. "i don't, i mean, - i haven't thought about,.. kissing, anyone! , ever!"

"you are literally such a bad lair." yunjin scofs

jake quickly noticed how red your face was, and whilst heeseung was relishing in your flustered state, jake quickly took it into his hands to help his partner out of the situation.

"ok my turn, no one has asked me yet!" jake says to the group eyes starting to re-direct to the boys.

"ok, truth or dare jake" jay quickly replies

"dare"

"do your best impression of one of us"

jake carefully looks around before his eyes locked on his target for a second. jake proceeds to sassily cross his arms and roll his eyes hard, before giving jay a nasty side eye. collectively everyone started laughing

"sunoo." the group almost said in unison, as they continued laughing at jakes sassy impression of sunoo.

"hey!" sunoo snapped back but he couldn't even argue as it was completely accurate.

"ok, seriously though this was fun, we should get back to working now though," jake says while others boo and sigh

"hey i never said we couldn't continue this another time?" the rest of the group agreed and everyone went back into their spots in the living room.

everyone slowly got back into working on their projects and jake could tell your mind was elsewhere, so he without asking took on most of the work finishing up the project.

"hey y/n? can i ask you something?"

you turned quickly meeting the boys gaze,

"sure, what is it?" he paused for a minute before he asked you quietly, wanting to make sure no one overheard.

"is there something going on between you and heeseung?"

you eyes widened taken aback by jakes question,

"no, why..?" you quickly responded

"oh, i dont know, it just kinda seems like theres something going on between the two of you lately..."

"theres not! well.." you paused as you thought back to the night of the party. maybe he already told the guys what happened?

"well?"

"did he ever tell any of you what happened at the party?"

jake raised his eyebrows and shook his head, "no, did something happen between you two at the party?"

"no! well sorta... i just, he offered me a drink and i said yes and then i sorta.... ran away.."

you looked down fidgeting with your fingers. honestly you found jake easy to open up too. he was someone who was easy to talk to and instantly made anyone feel comfortable in his presence. so it wasnt hard to be truthful with him. it felt nice honestly.

its not like you couldn't talk to your best friends, its just that, you knew as soon as you did it would make it real. because they would encourage you, and you weren't exactly sure if thats what you wanted yet. with jake, he just was there to listen.

"why? - i mean, whyd you run away?"

"honestly... i dont know" you lied. obviously you couldn't tell him the full truth. you couldn't tell anyone.

"hey, well, if you ever need someone to talk to know that im around" he smiled warmly before playfully reaching over and ruffling your hair.

"i know yunjin and sunoo are great but its obvious they aren't always the most subtle people..." jake chuckled to which you did as well.

"yea, tell me about it."

"im here to listen, and i promise anything you tell me ill keep to myself." he smiled and you could tell he was being genuine.

"thanks jake" you smiled back warmly

"hey, at least we got the project done! no one else seemed to finished today. i bet we will get a 100%" he smiled bumping your arm and heeseung took note of the giggles and closeness clenching his jaw.

"you like her, dont you?"

heeseung snapped his head back to yunjin,

"is it that obvious?"

"hm, not really, well to me yea, but i dont think anyone else has noticed."

heeseung sighed as he admitted his feelings for the first time ever.

"good luck with that, she hasnt dated anyone since like middle school."

"so are you gonna help me out or what?"

"eh, maybe,– maybe if we get a good grade on this assignment."

heeseung sighs like hes doomed bc he knows whatever grade the both of them got on the project would be purely based off if yunjin knew what she was doing, because he did not.

"you are such an idiot, why do you think i agreed to be your partner when she partnered up with jake? its obvious that was the only reason you even asked me. "

"thanks," he smiled

"yea yea, whatever, u should probably hurry up, looks like jake thinks he has some sort of a chance too," she said and both of them shifted their direction to the two of you.

heeseung clenching his jaw as he saw the way jakes hand brushed over your arm.

"does she like him?" he asked gaze still fixated on the both of you.

"no idea, she doesnt talk about any of that, shes always so focused on school i havent heard anything about her having a crush in years."

the conversation slowly simmered out and heeseung got another idea as he saw you finally open your phone. he quickly pulled up his twitter account before tweeting again

gamer.lhee: "you watching me, angel?"

your face immediately turned red seeing the notification, clicking on it and seeing the previous ones. that's when it clicked. the whole time your ringer had been on. he was testing you. he knows.

you quickly stood up and excused yourself to the bathroom, something that was seeming to become a habit now. heeseung followed behind before his arms cornered you against the hallway wall.

"heeseung, what are you-"

he leaned in, dangerously close, lips almost brushing against your ear.

"do you also get this flustered when you watch me at night too?"

- tbc.

dont forget to reblog if you enjoyed it!!! <3 super helpful and appreciated!!

note: also feel free to comment and let me know what you thought of this chapter!! im open to hearing feedback and whatever you guys enjoyed so i can make the next one better!! ^.^ tysm for reading!! hopefully i didnt make too many errors lol..

taglist!: @yohanabanana @heebear @4eeseungz @wonniewonsblog @yangjungwonnie @eugenia29-blog1 @merwdusa @river-demon-slayer @planetmarlowe @woniesbae @ad1m4ise @allthesqueaks @yoonglestangies @clxodyvesprr @millis-diary @immelissaaa @penny44224 (lmk if you'd like to be added <3!)

[yjw1a1]

harvest of purity — sunghoon [ 박성훈 ]

pairing ⦂ sunghoon ⨯ fem. reader

synopsis ⦂ au in which an innocent, shy, and faithful sunghoon takes a summer job as a farmhand. he’s never indulged on his desires until the farmer’s daughter shows him a taste of sin. although riddled with guilt, he cannot deny or escape the new rousing feelings that impurify him. especially when she's set on ruining him every chance she gets.

genre ⦂ smut, slow burn romance, strangers to lovers word count ⦂ 29k tags ⦂ fluff and angst, repressed desires, innocence loss, guilt and shame, exploring relationships, falling in love, southern gothic vibes, summer au, clingy down bad sunghoon, ‘mean’ morally gray reader, both are weirdo loser freaks content advisory ⦂ mdni ! dark-ish content ⚠︎ sexually explicit content in four scenes: handjob, oral (m. rec.), dry humping, thigh fucking, unprotected sex, virginity loss, corruption!kink, degradation!kink, praise!kink, switch!hoon, he whines whimpers and cries; religious themes, concepts, corruption, and criticism; manipulation, animal death, blood, intense scenes, abusive parenting, gun mention and use

note ⦂ poured my heart out. i hope you love it as much as i do. dedicated to my other evil, off-putting, and/or weird girls┊reblogs and feedback encouraged ⇀ playlist ⸝⸝ masterlist 🌾

　You’re not sure what life in your small town was like before you were born. You can imagine it’s not too different from what it is now though. The thing about old country towns is they never seem to change. Open fields and miles of farmland. Two gas stations, one grocery store, a few family owned vegetable stands or in-home produce product shops. Only one notable neighborhood where the majority of the townspeople lived if not hidden somewhere else in the countryside. And too many churches to keep track of if the abandoned ones were included in the count. 

You like to think your parents were happy before you too. Hopeful and optimistic when offered to take over your uncle’s farm. Excited for the next step in their relationship after their marriage. They were the ideal family dream coming to life: high school lovers, engaged after graduation, married, a career handed to them through family with a large property of land and lovely farmhouse. All that was left was to grow that family. To have children to not only help tend the fields and animals but run around barefoot, all smiles, and wide eyed. 

You were positive that it was something they wanted. 

But life couldn’t have been that easy for them; it would’ve been too gratuitous of a blessing.

The day you were born, your father knew there was something greatly wrong with you. He claimed that on the day you ripped your mother open, screaming and crying, that God spoke to him for the first time. He called it divine intervention. Believing the birth of your soul was a red-herring of all that was set to come but God would show him the light, the truth: that you were nothing short of evil and needed saving. 

That year on the farm there was nothing but death. It only furthered your father’s harsh thinking of you. The crops and produce either died or rotted before it had the chance to grow or ripe. The animals were dropping dead from unknown illnesses. Every female livestock that gave birth passed in doing so. Barely any profits were made that year. Taxes were rising and so were the prices of nearly everything. It was a huge toll for your family, especially when raising their first child. Before you were even conscious of the situation everything was already deemed your fault. 

Through the harrowing struggle, your father’s optimism turned to resentment. He claimed that bringing you to the farm was not like bringing a daughter home, but a corrosive parasite. He believed that you were the reason for the life being sucked away from their perfect farm life. So, he turned to the only thing that he could trust to save the family from your curse: God. Begging and pleading through prayers every morning and night to the sky for a better season. 

He studied religion here and there before taking over his brother-in-law's farm but with the farm failing for the first time, he took a change of career paths. He was already well known among the locals, close with the church goers in the community. And somewhere along the way, he managed to start preaching himself. Nearly every christian in your town moved churches to follow where he went. Like sheep to a shepherd. 

If only they knew what you did, what he was truly like behind the closed doors of your home. How his devotion was turning to violence. Day by day, becoming uglier. 

While your father busied himself with his new found family, often away from home on the farm, the crops and animals began to thrive again. Slowly but surely, growing and regaining health. He would say it’s God’s doing, a small taste of His salvation. 

Your early years were mostly troubled by the relationship of your parents. Too young to fully understand their disputes, drawing at the kitchen table with their yelling sounding the house. It was always about you, that much you knew. Because you watch and you listen. Quick to learn that they tried for another child but never had any success. They wanted someone else to be their baby. Something that felt more like a blessing than you. Your father constantly spitting in your mother’s face that you were the rot to the fruit of her womb. And then he would always end up leaving by slamming the door and your mother would always join you at the table with tears and a bottle of wine. You always just watched, listening in silence. Perhaps just born resilient.

Growing up was different for you compared to most of the kids in your town. You never had the opportunity to make many friends being homeschooled. The only time that was spent around others your age was kindergarten. Kindergarten was short lived because of your behavior; the teachers at school were concerned about you. How you were mean, rough, and sinister with your actions towards others. Picking on the kids you were simply interested in because of how different from you they were. Drawing pictures of gutted cattle or dead, half developed baby chicks still in their shell and giving them as gifts to the teachers. Sharing to classmates the cruelty of farm life and why it was pretty with a smile. 

Your father loved to find out about this, you could see it in his eyes. The way they were wicked and screamed I told you so to your mother. You didn’t understand why it was bad or caused trouble. You were only having fun for the first time. The way the kids ran away crying or the teachers wore faces of shocked horror, it made your insides light up in joy. A new feeling—a sense of excitement. You didn’t know it was sick. And of course, it was taken from you. You were removed from school and your mother became your teacher. Your classmates became stuffed animals and the real ones in the barns. It was hard for you to find that joy you briefly felt with others. 

Sometimes you had a glimpse of it again when your father would punish you. But even that you grew sick of. The mess, the stench of it all. Sticky and red, worse in the heat of summer. He drilled the sick moto for his actions into your head, “I know no punishment, only mercy.”

Father took you both to church more often after that. He had a false image to uphold afterall, one of a happy, God loving family. In his ego he had to prove that his preaching and prayers could fix you, save you. But that was only admitted at home, loud and scary to your mother. Your poor mother, weak and defensive of you, eventually waved her white flag. You wished she kept fighting for you and that she wouldn’t begin to see you the way your father did. 

Childhood and adolescence was a string of questions about yourself. Never quite finding out what made you so bad to be seen as devilish when all you thought of yourself was curious. Perhaps just unlucky to be correlated with negative happenings on and off the farm, always gone without a chance of understanding. Despite it all, you knew well enough the way your parents talked and looked at you was without unconditional love. 

On your 17th birthday, the family dynamic made the biggest shift to be experienced. 

At this age, you had such a strong sense of independence and with the lack of parental guidance and monitoring, you would leave town when you could. Ride your bike down the long road to the bus stop at the center of town and take the bus into the city over. Your mother was generous with allowance and you saved your money well, only spending it on books or trips to the movie theater. A form of escape that allowed you to learn more about the world and all the things your parents tried to keep hidden from you. A way to learn how to be human. 

So when your father was tearing your room apart in search of the same gift he re-gifts you every year, he found some things that made his stomach churn. Every year for your birthday he rewrapped the same, first ever, bible he’d given you. Funny enough that he gave you anything at all considering he never even referred to it as your day, only his day of revelation. And to his disgust, on his sacred day, he found books and journals of explicitly detailed copulation and debauchery. 

He almost fainted. Stumbling over his own feet, hands shaking as he couldn’t tear his eyes away from the words on the pages. That was the only time you smiled on that day. Just for a second. And then a glimpse of hell broke loose. 

In a rage, he destroyed everything. Your mother stood next to you in tears, telling him to stop and stop. Her hands covered her face but she saw everything through her fingers. You only watched in silence, hands balled in fists by your side. A silent hatred and anger coursed in you. He called you names that no man of God should, especially to his own daughter. 

“You’re a disgraceful deviant of Satan! I should’ve known. My own day of revelation is a curse!” You watched him rip pages apart, his voice booming through the house. “Years spent praying for you and this is how you turn out?! Succumbing to nothing but a dreaming whore?!”

A part of you liked his mean words. It was so rare for him to use such colorful language. 

You knew what would come next. He was going to have you ‘cleansed’. Something he always did when he discovered something new and sacrilegious of you. 

But it didn’t come. Because there was no dying, old sheep on the farm at the time. He did make a promise to not forget though. A promise to have you washed in sacrificial, blessed blood on a day you least expected. 

Your father left after that, leaving you and your mother behind. He moved to the city to continue his preaching at a larger church. He became known as the closest reverend to God for miles and miles. Lost in his ways, he only made visits when he needed to sort things out for the business of the farm.

You were content with his departure, yet couldn’t quite understand why your mother missed him. As far as you’ve seen, he was never kind towards either of you. 

　But now, it’s several years later. And although you’re free of your father’s heavy presence and homilies, he still makes his trips to the farm. You can feel the air change whenever he does, as if you’ve gained a sixth sense for his coming. Naturally intuitive to things having spent your childhood walking on eggshells in your own home. 

And today, the air feels particularly chill for summer. The breeze sweeps in through your open window. The forecast called for nothing but sunshine all week, yet there’s an angry, dark cloud hanging over your farm. A foreboding feeling shivers through you, and you know he’s going to fulfill his promise today. You sigh and slide out of bed. “Let’s get this over with.”

You spend the morning doing your usual routine. Brushing teeth, washing your face, then dressing in farm work attire. Your breakfast consists of tea and your mothers homemade strawberry scone. Next is tending to the animals. Your mother usually takes care of the crops and gardening. It’s a quiet and early morning, as most are. The both of you keep to yourselves, just doing what needs to be done day by day. 

The sound of a car is heard coming down to the long dirt road and you know who it is by the sound. It’s a fancier vehicle than the one he left this property with years ago. A meaner part of you likes to think his greedy hands got into that mega church’s donations but you’re too self aware of the successful farm your family owns. 

Your father parks in front of the house and your mother is quick to rush over to him, presumably with many questions: How have you been? Are you hungry? Thirsty? What brings you here so early in the month? 

You roll your eyes at her desperation to cling onto the relationship that clearly ended when you were a child. 

You place a hand on your hip, leaning your weight to the side that isn’t carrying the heavy bucket of chicken feed. Walking away from the coops and back towards the shed by the house, you make eye contact with your father despite only taking a glance. 

He watches you with narrow eyes from the lowered window of the car he’s still sitting in, very much not listening to a word your mother is saying. 

He calls your name before you can open the shed. Spinning on the heels of your boots, you turn around with raised brows of questioning. 

He mouths the words sacrificial tree as he exits the car. Your mother sees this. She wears pained disappointment as she scurries away. Presumably to the barn where the sheeps and lambs are kept. She might as well be a sheep too, you think. 

The bucket slips from your fingers and drops to the patchy dirt grass by your feet with a thud, spilling over in a mess that will be cleaned later. 

You don’t bother giving him a nod of understanding. You just turn around and begin your walk to the tree line where the man made path is. Knowing it would take some time for his preparations, you walk to the lake that’s hidden behind the farmland. 

It’s a brief walk through your familiar woods. Once at the short wooden dock, you sit down at the end, taking in the gloomy summer scenery. A light fog hugs over the water. You bring your knees to your chest, in your sitting position, and hug yourself the same way. 

This is your favorite place out of all the land your family owns. It’s serene, mostly. Always quiet. You’re the only one who comes here. And it’s nice to swim with when the weather warrants it. There’s a feeling here that’s hard to feel anywhere else you find yourself. Sometimes you imagine what it would be like with someone else, but you doubt it would be as nice. Trouble has a way of following you, it seems. You frown at the thought. 

It’s silent like this for a few minutes, just you trying to find a sense of calmness before the impending chastisement. Then you hear some rustling of leaves, heavy footsteps following. You don’t turn around yet, you only wait for the call of your name. Your time of tranquility is too brief. You sigh before giving yourself a squeezing hug. 

“It’s time,” the reverend calls out loudly, “quickly now, we have new farmhands arriving soon.” The sound of his feet walking away is when you stand. You wave a goodbye to the foggy lake before parting ways. Your feet move unconsciously, taking to where your body knows to go. 

Leaves crinkle underneath your boots and twigs snap. The trees’ branches sway in the gentle morning breezes that pass. 

In the mix of the small forest, man made crosses of sticks or plywood are spaciously scattered. Like a graveyard to all your bad doings. Most small but one large. Old rotted wood that stands crooked and begging to fall over right next to the largest, strongest tree. Your eyes, that are trained to ground, move upwards the cross and then to the tree. Your father stands there with a large knife in hand. Your mother waits cautiously not too far away. Her demeanor is frightful as if this is the first time. Coward.

An old sheep hangs by its hind legs from a sturdy tree branch. Unmoving and defenseless. Big beady, dumb eyes look in all directions but you. You think it must feel the same guilt as yourself, sorry that its life purpose is to embarrass you, make you hate what you are. 

“God told me to make a sacrifice to prove my faith. He guides my hand in washing your soul clean of sin. So here I am with our blessed, dying lamb.” He’s said this every time. His voice is always miserably rehearsed and preacher-esque. 

You thought long ago that this was their, the lambs, only use on the farm. It’s a shame. All that devotion has made him so ugly and violent. 

You make small steps closer to the lamb. It’s whining in bleat baas and mehs. Does it know what’s happening? Is it scared? You like the lambs, sheeps. Pure white, soft, and docile. They never fight back. They just take it. I doubt they need restraints. You could hold them above me just the same and they’d never resist. 

“Move faster, for the love of God. Yeah, stand right there underneath like you know how to.” He instructs you, annoyed. His patience running thin as the distant sounds of a truck makes way down the dirt road to the farm property. 

“Okay…” You don’t fight him, with arms crossed behind your back and a hand squeezing around your own wrist, you move closer. Maybe you’re a lamb too. 

Maybe all your father really was is the executioner. 

He raises the knife as he begins to speak, it slides over its cotton, white throat but does not cut, “Revelation 7:13-17 Then he told me, ‘These are those who come from the great tribulation, and they’ve washed their robes, scrubbed them clean in the blood of the Lamb. That’s why they’re standing before God’s Throne. They serve him day and night in his Temple. The One on the Throne will pitch his tent there for them: no more hunger, no more thirst, no more scorching heat. The Lamb on the Throne will shepherd them, will lead them to spring waters of Life. And God will wipe every last tear from their eyes.’” He slits its throat in a quick, harsh movement. The blood spills just as fast, squirting spurts of red before it comes pouring down onto you. “Face up,” you obey even though it brings you rage, “it ought to cleanse those unholy thoughts I know that are still in there.” 

Head raised to the sky with eyes and mouth squeezed shut, you let it consume you. Warm, thick and wet washes down from your head onto your clothes then down to your feet. The smell of animal, metallic iron covers you. It’s sticking to your hair, eyebrows and lashes. You can already feel your clothes clinging to your skin in the dirtiest ways. 

You stand there, drenching in the its blood. Your father speaks again, firm and slow, “Say it with me now, ‘I know no punishment, only mercy.’” All you feel is the animal’s rain of life flooding you.

You open your mouth to speak but are quick to spit and cough out the blood that manages to get into your mouth. Smack. 

“I don’t have time for this,” his voice sounds like an echo, your head is ringing from the harsh swing of his hand. The skin of your cheek stings. He hits like a bitch, you think. “Say it with me now, dammit!” You can feel him wipe his bloodied hand on the side of your shirt. 

You step back from under the red shower. “I know no punishment, only mercy.” Your words align with his in the perfect paced harmony you’re trained to do so. Enunciated, slow and strong, through gritted teeth.

There’s a beat of silence before the sound of your parents footsteps walking away. 

Standing there in red, yet to open your eyes, you breathe out a shaky sigh of defeat. It sounds more like a growl. With the mostly clean hands you kept safely behind you, you bring them up to wipe the blood from your face. You don’t dare to look at the dead animal in front of you. Being covered in it is enough alone to make you feel sick. 

You think of going back to the lake, jumping in and letting the blood wash off you there, but knowing you’d either walk back with further drenched clothes or naked didn’t seem like options you wanted to deal with either. So you just head back to the house. It’s a slower walk than need be, but you just felt like avoiding the eyes of the newcomers, hoping they’d be off in the fields or in a barn by the time you walk through. You feel numb. 

You’re wrong though, by the time you’re passing the barns and coops, the group of new farmhands are already lined up outside the horses’ stable. Your mother is talking to them, although not all are paying attention. Only a few pairs of wide eyes follow you. Catching the sight of you must really shock them but you can’t blame them. Something about this makes you excited. You stop in your tracks and look around to see if your father’s car is gone. It is. The realization feels like a wave of relief and it suddenly feels brighter outside already. 

You take a glance down to your disheveled appearance. Shirt, pants, and boots painted like the barns. You look back to the group, brushing the soiled hair back from your face. Some pieces stay stuck, in the early stages of drying against your skin.

It’s safe to have a little fun. 

You begin a slow walk over to the group. You take a headcount and there’s five of them. Two younger men, closer to your age. The other three look a bit older, not by much but definitely older. Your mother is yet to turn around from whatever rundown she’s giving them. Too dense to even recognize that now none of them were paying any attention to her. 

You creep up beside her and open with, “Hello,” your voice is louder than even you’ve heard it be in a long time. It’s nice to be heard, noticed. You usually avoided the farmhands, but this summer was going to be different. You decided this on the walk over. 

Being cooped up on the farm for so long made you different, it’s obvious to anybody. Not properly socialized in your developmental years caused you to be an anomaly to the ones who did come across you. Enigmatic from far away and up close. Now isn’t the greatest example though, the situation is too clear as to why. 

Your mother turns to you, gasping and jumping back slightly in the shock of your gross state and sudden introduction. “My goodness, girl, whatta ya doin’ here like this?” Her voice is hushed, clearly unsettled with the situation. 

They all just stare at you, open mouthed and bewildered. You take the time to get a good look at each of them up close. Your eyes follow their faces individually down the line. And then they stop. 

At the end of the line is a man more beautiful than the ones you’ve seen in the movies. You feel stuck in time, left with parted lips, staring at the man before you. And far too intently for your character. He stands tall, sharp, pale, and elegant. What is a boy like this doing here? He averts his eyes from you, clearly uncomfortable by what’s before him. He looks uneasy, shifting his weight foot to foot with his hands behind his back. His pretty eyes glance around from you to your mother to the other men and the ground. He simply doesn’t know what to do with himself. You find it dangerously darling of him. 

You don’t even realize the small smile that takes your lips. You step closer to him and he steps back, now looking at you with wide eyes of small fear. You extend your hand to him, it’s coated in drying blood. He gulps and the sight, his adam’s apple bobbing in such a biteable neck stirs something in you. This will be far more fun than you intended. 

You say your name softly for introduction and step a little closer, “Nice to meet you," you feign cuteness as much as you can, looking up at him through your blood clumped lashes. It’s clear to everyone there is something off; there’s little to no real emotion behind your voice and face. 

Your mother eyes you suspiciously as you corner the handsome man, but she says nothing. Sometimes she fears you too. 

He looks from your eyes to your hand, having an internal battle with himself on what to do, “Ah, I am Sunghoon... Nice to meet you too.” His politeness must be stronger than his frighteness, because he takes his hand in yours and shakes it gently. His hand is large in yours, nearly covering it entirely. You squeeze it hard, your eyes never leaving his, trapping him in the scene. 

He wants to look away, to hide somewhere. The way his skin crawls tells him he’s a prey already in the mouth of a predator. And you know he’s nervous under your intense gaze because your hand feels like a lamb is still bleeding above you. His palms are sweating, and it’s nowhere near hot enough for that yet. Your smile grows to a smirk. 

Although you’re wearing the lamb, having Sunghoon’s hand in yours made you feel like a wolf. 

　Sunghoon’s first day of his summer job starts off duller than he imagined. The sun isn’t out this morning and it only intensifies his anxiousness, as if the grey skies reflect his inner emotions. He’s already new to the area, away from home and staying in an apartment not far from his college in the city. A private, christian school that he studied hard to get into with his friend. He wishes his best friend and roommate, Jake, was joining him in this job, but Jake already had plans to teach at a summer soccer camp for kids through their school. 

He found this opportunity through the college church they attend together. A reverend from another church in the city came to visit one Sunday, handing out flyers to the young men in hopes of finding farm help. The pay is good and the bus fairs to the small town over where the farm’s located is covered. He’s never done work like it before, nevertheless was he going to let a simple offer pass him up. 

Things are going smoothly to start, being told how to care for, clean, and feed the animals to crop preservation. Everyone would have their own specific roles on the farm. Sunghoon was assigned the easier of the tasks, either feeding animals or watering and fertilizing the vegetables and fruits crops. He learns there are already regular farm workers that would come throughout the week to collect produce, material, and use the machinery for the more laborious work. And if she wasn't around when needed then they could ask any of the regular employees for assistance or find her at the house. 

As the farm owner is about to give details on the horses’ maintenance, a girl saunters in. And the anxious feelings become of Sunghoon all over again. His eyes are wide, taking in her appearance. The smell of the farm dissipates and putrid copper takes over. The worst part is how calm she appears, and the fact that she’s unbothered with all that she wears. 

He thinks his brain short circuits, everything seeming muffled and unreal. He doesn’t even realize he introduced himself or touched her. It all was too quick and unfamiliar for him to grasp. 

He watches as she walks away, back to the house that sits slightly over the hills and valleys of the property. His expression is blank, blinking slowly at the strange girl then down to his hand that’s stained red too. 

“Don’t pay her no mind,” the woman speaks up, she sounds as if she’s warning them. “Just get yer work done and when everyone’s finished y’all can head back home. I won’t ask too much of ya in yer first month here, alright? That might be a different story later.” She tries to end the statements in humor with her forced laugh. 

Sunghoon nods but his eyes don’t leave his dirty hand. The other men nod along too and give their ‘yes, ma’ams’ in return. 

The woman continues walking them around the farm, listing rules and guidelines they must follow, along with advice and tips for the work they’ll be doing. 

The day flows as easy as it can for Sunghoon. He doesn’t talk much with the other farmhands. He also doesn’t know them well enough to be comfortable in their conversations, so he just exists in awkward silence, sometimes reacting. While they can joke around and find fun in the work, his mind keeps wandering off to the girl from earlier, to you. How your empty eyes held onto his and small hand even tighter. He thinks the palm of his hand still burns from the interaction. 

Around the afternoon time, Sunghoon and the guys are sitting around a picnic table near the house. The sun is beating down on them all now while they chug down water and eat their lunch. The owner was kind enough to provide their refreshments and meals. They were all thankful. 

She adds that there’s a small lodge up the dirt road. It’s a little old but homey and has space with two spare bedrooms if they need to wash up or rest at any time. It was originally built for the farm workers that worked late and needed a place to stay if need be. 

Once done, the boys stand up and talk about what they have left to do. The next bus back to the city isn’t running for another two hours so they speak of taking some leisure time and exploring the farm property. Meanwhile Sunghoon is still sitting, watching them huddled in conversation. He wipes some sweat off his forehead with the back of his hand as they begin walking towards the fields.

Sunghoon, taking what the farm owner had mentioned previously, decides that he’d like to stay inside to get away from the beating sun for a while. So he gathers his trash to throw away in the bin by the road near the house’s mailbox and begins his walk to the lodge. 

Once inside he takes in the rustic, outdated furniture. It’s a little dusty and the floorboards creak beneath his feet but he finds it somewhat comforting. The living space has two couches by an old stone fireplace, a center table with board games and cards, a kitchenette, and a large dining table with enough space to seat six people. 

The decor is very farmers-life-esque. From a cow print rug in the small kitchen area to the antlers mounted on the wall near the dining table. There’s scenic southern paintings hung up along with antique crosses and prints of bible verses, all adoring the faded and peeling floral wallpaper. Above the fireplace hangs a painting depicting Jesus healing a blind man. 

He walks down the only short hall in the lodge to find the two spare bedrooms the woman had mentioned along with a bathroom. He takes this time to wash his hands thoroughly and splash some cold water on his face. With his hands resting on the sink, he stares at himself in the mirror. The cold drops of water slip down his face, jaw, and back into the sink. 

In his mind he’s questioning whether or not he’s sure of this job. It’s all too different from what he knows and he can’t help but feel out of place here. With a sigh, he drops his head and watches the water slip down the sink. 

He jumps slightly at the sudden sound of the front door opening and closing, not expecting the others to join him here quite yet. No noise follows the action for a moment, not even footsteps. Then there’s the sound of a click, like the door is being locked. He straightens his posture and peaks out the bathroom door, listening for their voices or any sound other than silence. It offers nothing to him so he begins to feel tense. 

“Hello?” Sunghoon calls out skittishly, but there’s no response. His heart rate picks up a little and he starts to think the boys are trying to pull some sort of childish prank on him. He leaves the room and makes slow steps down the hallway to the main area of the lodging house. 

As he rounds the corner he doesn’t find any of the boys there though, he just sees you. His heart jumps at the realization. Sitting on the couch, in overall shorts and nothing else. Bare legs crossed and hands against the couch by your sides as you watch him peer around the corner with apprehension. You’re  just sitting there, leaning forward and waiting for him to come find you. 

Cowardly, Sunghoon makes a half turn. He presses his back against the wall of the hallway as if he could hide away or disappear into it. He even closes his eyes, thinking of a quick prayer to save him from this circumstance. 

“Are you pretending to be shy or are you really this cute?” Your voice is teasing, and he can hear the wicked smile in it without seeing. 

Feeling caught, he just sighs and slowly makes his way to the living area. He tries not to look at you, thinking you are too revealing. So he looks everywhere else and then to large windows that give view to the farm; none of the guys are in sight. Most likely somewhere goofing off. All he can see is the fields and farm buildings standing large in the distance. 

He doesn’t move and speaks softly, “I should probably go find the others-”

You speak before he can finish his attempt of an excuse, “Come sit with me.” You pat the space on the couch next to yourself. Your voice sounds welcoming but he knows there’s an undertone of mischief. 

He makes a quick glance to you and sucks in a breath at the view of your body that’s exposed from your overalls. The glimpse of the curve of your breast disappearing under the denim already makes him feel like he’s seen too much of you. And he has. He’s never seen such bare skin on a girl and he’s never been alone in a room with one either. 

“Come sit with me, now.” You’re more stern this time, demanding in a gentle way. Your hand makes small movements, soothing over the material of the couch like you’re warming the space for him. 

He visibly swallows as he makes his hesitant steps over to you. His heart is racing and with every beat there is a question of his strength. He sits down on the same sofa but not directly next to you like you want. You smirk nonetheless and turn to face him, sitting with your legs criss-cross now. 

With your elbows to your knees you hold your head in your hands, watching the side of his face. You’re again realizing how sculpted his features are. Dark thick hair on his head, eyebrows and lashes too. An array of moles sprinkle his pale face. A sharp nose that sits above pink, full lips. You wonder if he knows of his own beauty. It’s fascinating to see such a person like him in front of you. 

He’s sitting with perfect posture, not relaxing into the couch. Alert like a deer that’s waiting for too sudden of movement to pounce away. His eyes just watch the table, reading through the names of the board games that lay there as a way of distracting himself. He’s awkward. 

“Uhm… d-does your family own this farm?” he tries for small talk to break the silence. His bottom lip finds itself between his teeth as he makes one quick look over to you. Luckily your overalls sit high up or he’d have a full view of your chest. He can’t help but think of the fact and it makes him shift uncomfortably. 

“Do I make you nervous?” you question, seriously so. Brows pulled tight in a furrow with a straight face. You lean in even closer to him, watching for every change on his face. 

“Yes,” his response is honestly quick and ends with a tight lip, like he’s holding his breath. He is yet to comprehend what is happening, still in a whirlwind of thoughts of what could—will—happen. 

“Why?” Your head tilts slightly to the side, it makes him think of his roommate briefly. And man does he wish he were here to ease the tension. 

He doesn’t want to admit that he’s never been in such close proximity with a girl alone before, so he just clears his throat and remains quiet after doing so. 

Curiously, you bring a hand up with a pointed finger and brush the tip of it over the mole on the side of his nose. He jolts back at the sudden touch, his cheeks flushing a warm pink. His eyes now watch you with gentle confusion. He touches the same spot you did with a trembling hand. 

“You have a constellation on your face. So many moles… Do you have a girlfriend?” 

His face burns a little more, both from the observation and the question. He shakes his head, sitting himself further into the couch and further away from you. He can’t quite understand the situation. Are you messing with him? You seem too serious for such. Maybe you’re just weird like he initially thought. Either way he can feel his faith slipping; he is cupping holy water in hands during an earthquake. 

“Did I do somethin’ wrong? Am I not pretty?” You pout to be playful with him, acting as if his actions are offending you. He takes it literally though. 

“No!” his hands rest on his knees and he holds them hard, trying to find stability despite sitting down. “Y-you are… pretty,” his words grow quieter, like he’s sharing a secret. “I just don’t know you or why you want to talk to me.” 

“Hm.” You lean your head back against the couch. With your eyes still on his face, you speak just as quietly, “I’m still trying to figure that out too.” After some beats of muted air you speak up again, but with more presence, “You came to work here. Why?” 

“A man was handing out flyer ads at the church. I wanted a summer job.” 

Is he always this direct and boring? And church, of fucking course. You roll your eyes, pushing yourself off the back cushion and even closer to the man. Your knees touch the side of his body and his thigh. He looks like he’s trying to control his breathing, to feign lack of disturbance, but his face says everything you need to know. 

You place a hand on his thigh and his whole body stiffens at the action. Your smirk to yourself. It’s only resting there on the top of his jeans. “You act like a girl has never touched you before.” You give him a soft squeeze and he sucks in a sharp breath. “Well? Has a girl ever touched you?” 

He shakes his head quickly, “No,” he breaks, feeling overwhelmed and wrong, “and I don’t think you should be. It’s against the churches values-”

“At your age you still follow the rules?” Your hand slides lower and back up his thigh, it’s a slow and teasing motion. There’s enjoyment in how scared he’s becoming. 

Sunghoon knows that this is only going to lead him down a path he swore to God not to take. And if his parents were to know that in his first year away from home in the summer since college was locked in a lodge with a promiscuous girl he’d have it handed to him. The thought of their wrath makes him shiver all the more. 

“I just don’t want to sin.” His eyes close and he bites down onto his lip again. He no longer cares if a stranger sees him as a loser or prude. His virtue is being tested in real time, and he’s feared facing this battle many times in the night because even in his dreams he loses. 

“I’m only touching you. How is it a sin?” The tone of your voice changes, it’s soft like the hand that moves closer to in between his thighs. Your fingertips press into his clothed skin here and there, curiously feeling him up. You just try to get a reaction out of him. There’s a warm feeling in your stomach that you don’t recognize; it’s faintly familiar. 

“Your hand isn’t supposed to be… there.” He makes a strained sound, something like a low whine, as your hand ghosts over his cock. 

You look down to your movements for the first time and realize he’s sporting a half chub. You snicker quietly, cupping him in your palm. “Then why are you getting hard, Sunghoon? Do you like the way I’m touching you? I bet you’ve thought about doing this before too.” 

He makes another noise, a whimper. He can’t bring himself to open his eyes and accept what’s happening. He also can’t find it in himself to stop you, or get up and leave. This wasn’t just a struggle with evil’s temptation but his own biological nature. Something yet to be explored, something that’s been scratching at his ribcage for years to be fed. 

There’s too much he can’t admit in this moment. Starting with how he enjoys the sound of your voice, the slight accent and dialect difference he picks up. How the way his name leaves your lips makes him want to crumble like a burning church. And how he silently likes the fact he can’t control the way his body is reacting to your hands on him. 

It’s all wrong, wrong, wrong. And he is weak.

“Answer me, Sunghoon.” Your hand presses down on him, feeling the growing hardness under your palm. You give him a small squeeze, massaging over the bulge. To your surprise he feels big. Your eyebrows quirk at this and then you look back to his face. A single tear runs down his face and you find satisfaction in it. “Lying is a sin too,” you remind him. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispers, his hands fist the couch cushions at his sides. He grips the material so tight that his knuckles turn pink through the pale of his skin. His chest rises and falls through slow and deep breaths. 

“You shouldn’t feel sorry for something that makes you feel good.” You palm over him a few more times, drawing out little moans and whimpers from him. He’s struggling to sit still. You can even feel him try not to push his hips back up into you; if only he would admit that he wants it. He’s practically pulsing beneath you, like there’s never been such a rush of blood to his cock in his life. You sigh dramatically and pull your hand away from him, sitting back to give him space. “That’s too bad. A good dog will always be loyal, huh?”

His eyes shoot open when he feels your hand is gone. He looks at you desperately with wet eyes, a small pout to his lips. You make him feel sick for wanting to ask why you stopped, or if he did something bad for you to take away his short-lived pleasure. 

You smirk at his expression, so pitifully beautiful with want. “Have you ever touched yourself?” you ask, placing your hand over his that hasn’t let go of the couch. It takes you back when he flips his hand around to hold onto yours, clingy and wretched. His thumb brushes over your knuckles. Repulsed, you react quickly and take your hand away from him at his impulsive intimacy. It makes him frown with a meek whimper. 

He shakes his head slowly, looking down to his lap. “I can’t.” He knows he’s not allowed to. His father was adamant through his puberty that he mustn’t succumb to his body’s natural taste for sin. He was told that sometimes the devil had a funny way of sneaking into a man’s mind. That Satan would haunt boys in their sleep to wake them up with guilt of uncontrollable lust to be like him. 

“But you like when I do it, right?” You rest your head on his shoulder and look up at him. His eyes look from your face to the thin opening of your overalls where your chest can be seen from the angle. He bites down hard and nods slowly. You coo, moving your hand back to his still hard, clothed cock. “I can make it go away if you want. You want that?” 

He’s battling all the repressed things he’s been too afraid to explore; fearful of the swing of his parents belt he felt once long ago after being caught in a misunderstanding. In spite of it, he nods again. “It hurts.. Please, help me.” His voice is so quiet. Even he doesn’t want to hear his own pathetic begging. 

Your fingers find the zipper of his jeans then you tug it down slowly as you stare at him. “You have to pull them down for me, okay? I can’t help you with just this.”

Sunghoon freezes for a second knowing he has control over being the one to take out his own cock. Yet apprehension leaves in a breath. Then he’s pulling the clothing down to his knees with frantic haste. You didn’t expect him to take everything off so fast but there’s a sense of pride in how eager you’ve made him become in such a short time. 

You weren’t sure what to expect, but it certainly wasn’t this. His cock is as beautiful as him. Pale and raging pink, crying at the tip much like his eyes. He’s also big, bigger than you knew dicks could be. You thought they’d be ugly, gross and worm-like. But his is clean and pretty. It’s your first time seeing one in person; you wouldn’t let him know that. 

You take him bare in your hands, feeling him like a foreign object. More curious of his body than in his pleasure in the moment. His body tenses then relaxes against the couch. A shaky, breathy moan leaves his lips. His eyes flutter at the contact of skin. 

You squeeze him, making his moan weakly again. It’s heavy in your hand. Truly just a stick of warm flesh. A part of you wants to squeeze him as hard as you can just to see if it can break, but you withhold on hurting him for now. Not wanting to scare him too much in hopes of exploring him further through the summer. 

Your hand wraps around the length as much as it can, pads of fingertips brushing over every vein and curve as you slowly move your hand up and down. When your thumb circles around his tip and flicks the leaking hole, his body lurches forward with a loud cry of a moan from him. You wonder if he’ll cum in the next few seconds of simply touching him. 

“I think you’re a slut for a little pleasure, Sunghoon.” You use your palm to gather his precum, circling over the tip to smear the thick cream around. Then you drag it back down himself, wetting his cock in his own prerelease. It slides easier now, your hand. You move faster, jerking him off in lazy, inexperienced motions. Not that he would know anyways. “You gave into lust so easily, didn’t you? Must’ve wanted this for so long. Your body’s nasty, eager for it.”

In his ears, you make the nasty words sound delicious. And he wants to devour more and more, like the starved man he is. His hips snap up into your hard, sudden and rough. You wrap your free arm over his shoulders, a hand sneaking up into his hair to tug aggressively on the thick dark locks. You’re pulling his head back, forcing him to look at you. “Don’t be a whore. I’m helping you. I didn’t say fuck my hand.” 

“Ahsh- I’m sorry, I’m sorry…” he whines, tears burning his eyes, “it, it f-feels good. I feel so good.” His head falls to lean against yours, face burying into your hair. His head makes little shakes as he begins to cry, telling himself no, no. 

“Shut up...” You don’t like how close he is to you. You only like doing so to tease him, but when he does it, it makes you feel a fiery anger in your chest and belly. Uncomfortable. Smothering.

Your hand works in sloppy motions. Pumping his pulsing cock to reach his orgasm. At the tip your wrist makes flicks with your thumb, working him up further and further. 

He stutters out incoherent apologies into your hair throughout his sobs of wanton, whimpering moans. Everything about his body is sensitive to the new sensations. He can’t help but move his hips up into your hand, humping the small fist that’s fucking down onto him. 

Confused by the warm, tight feeling flexing of his abdomen he whines against you, “I can’t- I can’t take it. My body feels weird now. Mmph, ‘m sorry. I don’t know what’s h-happening.” His body feels volcanic, ready to burst. 

You continue your movements, jerking his reflexing length until he’s cumming into your hand. It’s a heavy load of thick, creamy mess. His voice is too close to your ear as he moans a drawn out needy sound. Your face remains plain while you pump him until he’s milked dry. His body flinches and curls into yours through the aftershocks, clearly overstimulated and over-sensitive. His arms snake around your waist to pull you against him.  

You stare down at your hand that was earlier covered in the blood of a lamb and now the cum of a virgin. It looks like fucking snot, you realize with repulse. Without thinking you bring your hand up and lick the strange release. Your face scowls at the unknown taste so you just wipe the rest on your overalls. “You are disgusting,” you mutter. 

Sunghoon remains silent aside from his sniffles, eyes peeking through his bangs to watch what you’re doing. He still hasn’t stopped clinging to your side, as if you could save him from his first lustful sin. 

You push yourself up and off the couch, his body slightly falls to the side where he was leaning on you but he catches himself. He watches you with sad, scared eyes. You stare blankly in return then look out the window to see the group of men walking around the picnic table they ate at earlier. 

“Farmhands will be leaving soon. Clean yourself up in the bathroom.” You don’t spare him another look, you just walk to the front door, unlock it, and leave. You ignore the way he looked like a sad abandoned puppy. Something about it angered you in the same way he was being clingy. 

You walk back to your house with a slight skip to your steps. As you step through your front door, you’re about to head upstairs to your room but stop in your tracks because your mother speaks.

“Hate him all ya want,” your mothers words slur, she speaks slowly and tired-like, “but he was a good man. He used to love me… And then you came along.” You turn to the living room on your left where your mother lays on the couch, wine glass in hand and eyes heavy lidded. “I know what yer capable of. I’ve seen the things ya do on this farm, in this home.. When ya think no one is watching.. He just might be right about you.” You glare at her now. “There is something evil in ya, child. Leave that boy outta yer wickedness.” 

Her wine glass falls to the floor from her fingers and she groans, turning to her side. You stare at her for a moment before walking up to your room. 

Meanwhile Sunghoon spends his next 20 minutes in a spiral of guilt and shame. He cleans himself up in the restroom like you told him to. Then waits, watching outside the window for when the boys are gathered around the truck they drove in from the bus stop to leave in. It was hard for him to get the tears to end. He fell right into sin’s lustful trap and it made him feel so- No, it only made him feel hurt. Stupid. Bad. 

On his bus ride back into the city he prays. Sitting in back, alone with his indignity, and head bowed low so no one could see his red rimmed, glossy eyes. Time goes by so fast that he nearly misses his stop to get off. 

He ignores his roommate when he’s home. Jake, excited and curious of Sunghoon’s first day, is left cold. Sunghoon showers for longer than usual. He scrubs so harshly at his skin he turns red; unable to feel clean no matter how much he washes. He doesn’t eat dinner because he feels he doesn’t deserve to. He gets into bed earlier than most days too. He tries to sleep but the day haunts him, keeping him awake. 

He’s up all night in tears, face in his pillow with the blanket thrown over his head, trying to hide from He who watches. The begs of forgiveness seem endless. 

“Dear God,” he whimpers, “Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.” He doesn’t sleep much that night because he can’t find it in himself to stop humping into his mattress in hopes to chase and achieve the feeling you gave him earlier. His hips rock his aching hard cock into the bed, anguished yet titillated. “Please, forgive me. Forgive me. I’m so sorry.” He continues to cry, drowning in his pillow, knowing he will do it again. 

　The next day on the farm is an early morning for everyone. Sunghoon sits quietly in the truck with the other summer volunteer farmharms. They talk amongst each other about the day’s schedule of duties and tasks. He struggles to keep his eyes open, head leaning against the window despite its bumps from the uneven dirt road. He thought about calling it quits on the whole job after yesterday, but couldn’t bring himself to. It’s for selfish reasons too. The ones that deepen his guilt. 

The arrival to the farm is quicker than anticipated. Sunghoon forces himself to be more alert and awake, starting to pick up on the conversations between the others as he exits the parked truck. 

“Do you think it’s still hanging there?” One says. “The lamb of slaughter?” Another dumbly asks with a snort. “Well yeah, dipshit. You guys think that girl did it? She was weird as hell.” A third voice chimes in, “Being covered in blood and then leaving a dead animal hanging from a tree is creepy as fuck. The lady was right, stay the hell away from her.” He laughs. The others walk away in continuous chatter, leaving Sunghoon by the truck. 

Sunghoon is confused by this conversation and deeply disturbed. He doesn’t follow or press them with questions though. But it will give him much to think about for the day. He’s so exhausted from the lack of sleep, he wonders if he even heard them all correctly at all. Yeah, your whole introduction was strange but killing an animal and acting like nothing happened and then toying with him on the same day? Was all that really something a girl like you would do? He can’t say for sure because he doesn’t know you. 

He goes about his morning tasks lazily. His mind is too busy with the thoughts of you. He thinks of when or if he’ll see you today. You haven’t shown around the farm all day. It’s only an hour before noon, he tries to rationalize with himself. He still ponders throughout his work. What time will you come? Will you mysteriously show up like yesterday? Will you touch him again? Will you let him feel good? Is he forgivable or going to burn in hell for wanting more?

He shakes his head to rid it of the thoughts. Perhaps he’s too hopeful. After lunch time he goes back to the farmers lodge to take a nap. At least that’s the realistic excuse he used. He struggles to even fall asleep because he’s so anxious about listening for any sound of you possibly coming back here. 

His eyes, sullen and tired, just can’t stay open after half an hour of waiting. So eventually he does fall asleep. You never show up. When he wakes up from his long needed nap he somehow feels worse knowing you didn’t visit than he did committing his first sin. 

The following day of work is a repeat. He doesn’t see you at all yet you occupy all of his thoughts. He thinks badly of himself for many reasons. 

　On the fourth day, you finally decide it’s time to check up on the poor boy. You watched Sunghoon mope around the farm for two days and it was cute at first but you’re getting bored again. You did like how his eyes were always searching around, hopeful that every sound he heard from behind or around corners was you. Knowing you had such an effect on him made you wonder how much more you could do to him. 

From the window of your room, you watch when they all arrive. Your mother greets them like she does in the mornings and gives them all tasks that need to be completed for the day. It’s Thursday which means she’ll be out for a few hours to go into town and sort out business for products: cow and goat milk processing for cheeses and soaps. At least you assume considering you overheard her phone call about such the day prior. 

You spend the morning around the house, reading and snacking on fruits, waiting for your mother to leave so you can proceed with your plan. There was some effort into your appearance today. You wear a spaghetti strapped white babydoll dress, lined at the bottom with sewn embroideries. It’s simple and flows nicely above your knees when you walk. You hate it because it alludes to soft purity but at least it feels good to dress light in the summer heat. And it might make you all the more approachable to feeble Sunghoon. 

After about an hour, your mother finally leaves. You give it about 10 minutes before you’re shoving on your boots and leaving the house. Some of the blood from earlier in the week still stains the brown leather; you did clean them off but clearly not to the best extent. You’re okay with that though, it seems prettier this way to you. 

Looking and walking around the property, you see the scattered farmhands busy with different things. The sun isn’t kind today, it’s piercing in brightness and temperature. The sweat begins to seep from your pores in a matter of minutes, making you feel sticky. You run a hand through your tangled hair, fingers getting caught in unbrushed knots that you yank through anyways. You don’t see Sunghoon anywhere that’s directly under the sun. You continue to search around the farm, gaining a few cautious looks from the other workers. As you walk past their gazes you wear a wry smile with a tilt to your head. They look away quickly after being caught staring. 

Some wandering in and out of the different barns and coops are done. He wasn’t in any of them though.  You greet the animals you pass by and give pats to some of the cows. “Have you guys seen him nearby? I’m not a fan of hide and seek.” You mumble to one of the goats, scratching lightly beneath its chin while it chews away at grains and hay. It maas in return. You pull your hand back out from the stable then leave to continue the manhunt. 

It’s when you’re walking by the horses’ stables that you see they’ve already been cared for, telling you that someone was here already. You glance to the smaller shed nearby, having a suspicious inkling that it's where Sunghoon is. You walk to the shed and see yourself inside. And he is. He has his back turned to you, standing at a work bench table and cleaning something off. 

You walk up behind him, the sound of your footsteps being dulled by the scattered hay on the wooden floors; he doesn’t notice that you entered the space, clearly lost in his own thoughts. You tap his shoulder which makes him spin around in surprise, dropping the brushes he was cleaning. 

Sunghoon’s eyes are wide at the sight of you standing so close to him. You can tell he’s lost sleep by the dark circles around his eyes and how his complexion is impossibly paler. His mouth is stuttering to find words, opening and closing. 

You step closer to him and he steps back, his backside now pressing against the table. It wobbles on the uneven wooden stilts that hold it up. Reflexively, his hands reach back to hold onto the table, but he’s using it for his own stability. You simply stand there in between his legs, staring up at his face and taking in all the details that differ from the last time you saw him. He swallows, quietly watching your face in return. 

“I haven’t seen you around.” Sunghoon speaks first, his voice a soft surrender. You feel his breath on your face. 

“I know. I saw you though. You missed me.” You state bluntly, taking note of the little fangs he has for teeth. He probably bites good, you think, licking the back of your own teeth. 

“If you saw me then why didn’t you…” he trails off into a quiet again, closing his eyes for a moment with a sigh. “I wouldn’t call it that.” His eyes open again as he feels your hands on his chest, sliding up his white tank and underneath the sleeves of his denim jacket to his shoulders. He bites down, suddenly stiff. 

Ignoring his response you continue, “How can you wear this when it’s so warm out?” Your hands slide over his shoulders and down his toned arms, the jacket slips down to reveal the toned limbs. Your eyebrows raise at the sight yet your face remains relatively blank. “You’ve got muscle. Good for farm work.” Small hands continue to run over the smooth milk-like skin, learning every curve of his lean built physique. It’s not sexual, just exploratory. 

Sunghoon sucks in a breath, watching you inspect him. He begins to feel flustered, relishing in the contact of skin on his. You notice his tense body and ask him if it’s okay, to which replies a raspy stutter, “Y-yeah.” Your hands slide down his arms and back up to his shoulders. Then down his chest and body to stop at the waistline of his jeans. He has a nice body; he must be athletic. You don’t care to ask in what ways. Your fingers dip into his jeans just slightly to pull him in closer to you, he gasps, his growing cock pressing against your stomach. 

“Sunghoon,” You ridicule him, tsking under your breath at the pressure you feel of his arousal. “Already?” You look up at him but he can’t meet your eyes, feeling embarrassed. You play with the waistline, your fingertips running back and forth between the denim and his skin. “Is this sinning?” It’s a soft question yet mocking. He only shakes his head, nervously gnawing at his bottom lip. “Do you want to?” He whimpers, slowly nodding his head. You take your hands off him, crossing your arms. “You have to tell me. Look at me and tell me.” 

He looks back at you dispirited. He knows that you know what he wants. And here you are making him admit it outloud, both to you and God. “Please.” He begs quietly, hoping it only reaches your ears and not the sky’s. “I want you.” 

There’s that feeling again. The lit match that falls from your throat to the gasoline of your stomach that erupts in flames. Fire to your abdomen and loins; it’s an angry feeling, sparked by his honest admit of want, and for you specifically. You watch him with narrowed eyes while mumbling, “you revolt me.” 

He doesn’t reply to your venomous insult. It stings to hear the degrading words in both his heart and pants; he thinks himself disgraceful too. 

You drop to your knees, hands finding place back on his jeans to undo his zipper. He stares down at you in bated breath, hands still gripping tight on the table behind him. His are pulled down slowly, purposely so. You watch him writher, body and face. “Did you do it again?” you question, looking up at him from below. He would never avow to how the sight of you on your knees alone makes him ache all the more. 

He wants to tear his eyes away from you but he can’t. The image of you in your white dress on the ground before him needs to be burned into his memory. He stutters a mumble of words but you don’t catch anything, if he even said a coherent response at all. You ask again, pinching his thigh. He tries to hum over the strained noise in the back of his throat, “Yes.. I mean no! B-but I didn’t touch myself.”

You try not to giggle, biting the inside of your cheek. Knowing he wanted to feel that way again but couldn’t on his own gave you a funny sense of power over him. One of your hands traces the outline of his hard cock through his boxer briefs. “You make a mess?” He shivers at the feeling of your breath on his suffocating length. He breathes out a ‘no’ while you lick a strip over the material. “Why not? I showed you how.”

He moans softly, trying not to let his hips chase after the feeling that he’s been after for days. “You know I can’t,” he exhales. You roll your eyes, mouthing and licking at him languidly. Your hands are still half tugging at the material that keeps him hidden. A faint pool of precum quickly stains his boxers. 

“Sunghoon,” you look up at him with your chin resting on the bulge. He swallows hard, acknowledging you with a hum. “You will never be free from it. The sin I let you taste will forever linger on the tip of your tongue, begging and licking to taste more in crave. No holy blessed water can possibly cleanse you even if you drown in it.” 

His bottom lip pouts out with a little droning whine. He should defend himself, say that his faith is stronger than he is and that his soul is saveable by mercy. But a part of him also feels that doesn’t want to be. His eyes begin to well with tears. 

“Not even a god could make you pure again,” you give him a small smile and pat his naked thigh before pulling down his underwear. His cock now free slaps his stomach to which he breathes out heavily. You grab him with both hands, giving him one last look before taking the leaking head into your mouth. Hands working on him steadily. 

“T-that’s dirty!” he leans forward with a low sounding moan, his hands on your head and in your hair. Your eyes go wide at this. “Why would you put that in your mouth?!” he gasps, the warm wetness around his tip making him dizzy. “This is so vulgar, oh God, forgive me.” he cries, not pulling your mouth off of him but holding you there. 

You circle your tongue around the tip and over his leaking slit, licking the beads of precum that leak out. It makes your grimace before you lean back, a wet pop as your mouth leaves. “Enough of your penitence, and take your hands off me.” It sounds like a warning to which he complies without question, only a hushed apology. He’s the one who wants to be touched anyways, not you. 

You take him into your mouth again, your lips wrap around him in a painful stretch to accommodate his size. He sits heavy on your tongue that lays flat underneath, doing what you can with it. Your hands at the base work around him, jerking and squeezing him like you did before. You weren’t really sure what you were doing, mainly just mocking the actions you read about in books. It seems to be working for Sunghoon regardless because he can barely hold himself together. Whining and whimpering through fat tears, whole body shuddering from the overwhelming wet heat of your mouth. 

His jaw goes slack, mouth hung open only to elicit a breathless moan. His head rolls back on his neck and his eyes flutter to a close. The feeling of your mouth wrapping around him is hot heaven. His body trembles with the new, sweeping sensation. Stomach already tight with contracting muscles. He thinks he could pass out. 

Watching his face, him, discover and feel pleasurable sin is slightly euphoric to you. You’ve seen it in movies and read of it in books, but it was something you never quite fully explored yourself. There’s been a few instances that you did touch yourself; it always felt empty or like something was always missing. There’s little to no excitement when doing it alone in shameful hiding. Witnessing, causing such debauchery is different somehow. Safer in ways you didn’t dwell in thought on. You do wish he would stop crying about it, you find it pathetic of him in a provoked way. 

Involuntarily, he thrusts himself down your throat with a guttural groan. You gag and cough around him, tears sting your eyes that make you squeeze them shut—refusing to let a single one dare to escape. Now it felt like a challenge. One to which you wouldn’t back down in fear of looking weak. 

Your hands hold his thighs roughly, bruisingly so if you had the strength. You move his body in a small back and forth motion, encouraging him to continue his movements. You’re looking up at him with glazed over eyes and a slight nod. He chokes a sob at the sight, you on your knees not to pray but to devour him.

“Ah, I- I’m sorry. Your mouth is so wet, so warm.” He starts off with shallow thrusts, dragging his cock along your wet muscle. His hips stutter while his world seems to be crashing down. “This is so dirty. You look so dirty. And—ngh—it’s.. it’s so good. It’s so good,” he babbles, pushing himself as far down into your mouth as he can. His tip kisses the back of your throat making you gag around him. Your nails digging into the flesh of his strong legs. He can’t stop moaning and whimpering, becoming a slave to pleasure. 

He watches your face. Hollowed cheeks sucking and swallowing around him, the tightness of your throat around him hugging and contracting through chokes that reverberate your body to his cock. The spit that leaks from your lips and all over him is obscene, such a sinful mess. He so badly wants to grab your head and force himself down further, but his nails dig into the wood of the table instead. 

“Hm, I can’t—” he moans your name, thrusting rougher now. His whole body crumbling in on itself, chasing the feeling of release. 

Then there’s the sound of footsteps and a few voices that follow. Sunghoon sucks in a deep breath, taking a fist to his mouth to bite down onto. He looks at you in fear because of the proximity of the other farmhands right outside. This only makes you smirk around him, a glint of evil in your eyes. He shakes his head hurriedly, stopping his movements—as if that would make you both disappear. 

You push yourself off his cock, licking over your cracked and saliva covered lips. You bring a finger to your lips and shush him. “Be quiet or they’ll find out what a nasty whore you are. Unless you want that.” Your voice is quiet and raspy from the abuse of him fucking himself down your throat. You stare into his eyes intently before taking him back in. He glances from you to the door of the shed, his body shaking. 

You slurp and suck him up, purposely loud and sloppy. A hand jerking off the base that doesn’t quite fit in your mouth. He cries quietly with his mouth open, meek and desperate sounds escape that he can’t withhold. “Please…” He’s whimpering, begging for something that he doesn’t know the context of. 

“Do you think the extra feed is in this one?” A voice questions, the door being opened just a crack. 

Sunghoon quickly tries to bend down for his jeans but you slap his hand away, pushing him back into the table. You grip his thighs and force yourself to take all of him down. You gag around him, eyes never leaving his panicky and fucked out face. His face silently begs for you that enough is enough but you don’t stop, because a part of you knows he doesn’t want you to either. 

“It doesn’t hurt to check, does it?” The other replies with a light chuckle. “Could take a break for some shade too while we’re at it.” The door opens slowly with an agonizing creak, sunlight barely pouring. 

Each passing second feels like an eternity to him. The door is still only cracked, not enough for them to see inside but it’s cutting it close. His cock twitches at the thought of being caught with his dick down the throat of the farmer’s daughter. A blazing adrenaline rushes through him. 

Sunghoon can’t bear it any longer. His hands find purchase on the back of your head, pushing himself completely into your mouth. His hips stutter with a whimper on his lips as the hot cum pours down your throat. “Ah, sh- ngh!” You smack at his legs for him to release the hold, choking for air to breathe. You instinctively swallow around him, consuming his load of sin.  

“You dumbass! The horses are already fed, let’s just go for a water break.” The door slams back on itself to a close. Their footsteps can be heard walking away. 

Sunghoon breathes heavily, letting go of you. His body instantly relaxing back with his elbows on the table to support him. Meanwhile you fall onto your ass, a hand around your throat while you gasp for air through rough coughs. “What the fuck did I say about putting your hands on me?” You rasp before coughing again. The taste of him sits on the back of your tongue no matter how much you swallow. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispers, “we shouldn’t get caught.” He pulls his pants and boxers back up then extends a hand to you, an offering to help you stand back up. 

You scoff, ignoring his hand and stand up on your own. You brush the dirt and stray strands of hay from your knees. “Whatever. We both got what we wanted.” You start to turn for the door to leave the shed with the thought of brushing your teeth in mind. 

Sunghoon, confused as to what you could’ve gotten out of helping him, just reaches for your hand. He grabs you and pulls you back to look at him. His eyes are sad, maybe even a little afraid by your haste to leave. “Y-you’re just going to leave me again?” He sounds broken by the fact. 

“What?” You can’t help but breathe a laugh, “Did you expect me to do more?” You ask with raised brows. 

“No! No, not like that.. But..” He swallows his pride, “I- I don’t know. Just don’t leave yet. Please.” 

You blink at him, scanning his features like a robot in calculation. The pleading of his expression and his words aggravate you. A fiery burning to your insides and the skin that he touches, that he reached for. You look down to his tight grip on your hand before yanking it away. You don’t say anything more, and neither does he. He wipes his eyes from whatever salty wetness is still there. 

A moment of silence solidifies your decision. You beckon him to follow you out and he does. 

For the rest of his work day you remain. You try not to think about why. But subconsciously you know it’s because for the first time someone willingly wants to be by your side. At first you imagine it’s because of what you’ve done for him—gave him what any man desires: pleasure. A man falling into temptation is far too easy. 

Though he doesn’t ask for more and he doesn’t bring it up. Almost like it never happened. 

It seems like he really just wants to be around you. There’s little said between each other. It’s just idle farm work with company. And it’s more peaceful than you expected it to be. He didn’t touch you, question you, or do much at all to bother you in general. 

Sometimes he stares at you, but you do the same to him. He even gives a sheepish smile when he catches you; it doesn’t get returned. That doesn’t bother him though. He thinks you look beautiful on the farm in your dress with dirt covered hands and hair messy from the wind. He hopes to tell you that one day but for now he stays shy, still weary and afraid. 

The sun shines relentlessly unless a cloud mercifully passes by. The breeze is rare yet kind. The animals make their sounds to sing a collective song. The trees and crops sway like waving hands of hellos and goodbyes, depending on where you’re headed to or from. It’s not so bad. 

　Two weeks go by. Time flies by for both you and Sunghoon. He comes to work during the week, and he spends his weekends missing you. He doesn’t know what you two are to each other, and he’s too scared to ask. There’s definitely been changes to the dynamic, however. Subtly so. You still don’t smile, or let him touch you. You roll your eyes and insult him if he’s too emotional. But you’re there. 

Certainly not everyday, but most, you spend his work days with him. It’s easier to be around one another. There can be small talk, usually about the farm or the weather. Still much to be learned about on a personal level, but he’s fine with the pace of the relationship (outside of the unholy acts that are committed). Sometimes you even end up helping him. Or at least he thinks of it that way. In reality you don’t like how he does things and take over to do it yourself. 

You still tease him in your cruel ways. Always ending with him in a mess because he’s easily worked up by your handsy curiosity. He caves into you every time because he can’t fight the divinity that you show him. 

There are other times where you confuse him. You suggest a water break knowing he’d gone hours without hydration under the summer heat. You insist on having him take a break under a roof away from the sun when his skin gets too sweaty or red. Which is followed by a reminder that sunscreen is important if he wishes to keep his milky complexion. It’s critical statements that you provide him, but he can’t help to think it’s a weird way of showing you care. 

Sure, it could be seen as you selfishly saying these things because it’s what you want for yourself, but in the back of his mind he’s very aware of how you watch and cater to him. It makes his heart jump every time and butterflies swarm his stomach. He can’t help it. The little things, the small acts of kindness—that you might not even intend—make him delusionally overthink. 

On the third weekend since starting his summer job, Jake can’t help all the questions he’s been building up and dying to ask. Jake doesn’t understand what Sunghoon has been going through, especially when his moods change so drastically. At first, Sunghoon was self isolating and pouty, clearly in his own head and sulking. But then he would come home from work beaming with an afterglow to his aura. And then on the weekends he was back to his reclusive, depressed state. 

Sick of being left out of Sunghoon’s inner turmoil, Jake finally pesters his friend. 

“When are you going to tell me what’s going on?” Jake stands in the doorway of Sunghoon’s room, staring at his friend who’s laying face down in his bed. 

“I don’t know…” Sunghoon’s words are muffled in his pillow. 

Jake walks in with a sigh and sits at the end of the bed. He playfully slaps Sunghoon’s leg. “Dude, just tell me. You’re obviously going through something. You know I can keep a secret. I won’t judge.” 

Sunghoon rolls over on his back, his hands clasped together over his stomach as he stares up to the ceiling. He confides in Jake, telling his story from the beginning of when he first met you. He stutters over his words when he admits to the sinful acts he partook in with you. He tells Jake of his guilty conscience and how he enjoyed indulging in the feelings. Then he tells Jake about how he simply likes your company even without the sexual circumstances involved. How he’s mystified by your complex personality and only wishes to know you more. However, he does leave out the viciousness of your nature, since a part of him doesn’t quite believe in it. 

“It seems like you’re starting to develop a crush.” Jake laughs lightly, “And if it’s about religion, don’t overthink it too much. Nobody dies completely pure.” He reassures him. “You should show her more of you. That you like her too.” 

Sunghoon groans and covers his face at the terrifying suggestion. If only you were that easy to approach in such a vulnerable way. “I guess… I’ll consider it.” 

The next day is Sunday. Jake and Sunghoon attend church as normal. Sunghoon participates less in his prayers and songs than usual. His mind is too preoccupied with all he has going on in life. He feels guilt and frustration. 

Sunghoon, lost in his own world, fails to realize that his best friend—Jake—battles something similar internally. 

You’re never as alone as you think you are if you take a better look around. Everyone is riddled with their own self disgust, guilt, or shame. How else would the churches be so full? 

　Entering the fourth week of summer should feel easier than it does for Sunghoon. The work seems to be picking up regarding responsibilities. The weather is only becoming less forgivable. The peak is yet to hit, but that only means the seasonal storms are right around the corner. More care is needed in the fields and barns in terms of protection in case of unpredictable weather. 

Aside from the work, Sunghoon is anxious because of you. He hasn’t seen you yet today and he feels nervous about it. Perhaps he has grown too clingy, finding close comfort in knowing you’re there with him on the farm. There’s a sense of safety when you’re in the line of sight; you make things easier for him and he enjoys the presence. 

While he’s watering plants and checking the sprinklings through the fields, an older man approaches him. It’s a familiar face that he’s seen around a few times over the past month. The man waves with a smile and Sunghoon does the same. 

“It’s amazing what you’ve done, boy.” The man begins, Sunghoon questions where he’s going with the start because he’s just an extra hand of help and doesn’t feel he’s accomplished or improved the farm in drastic ways. “I’ve worked here, hm, well I’ll be damned! Nearly 15 years! And I’ve never once seen that farm girl talk to anyone. Much less spend time.” the man chuckles. 

“Oh!” Sunghoon blushes and hopes it’s only mistaken as feverish from the summer. He smiles small and stares down to the bundle of plants he brought with him to the farm today. He feels special knowing this much of you. “She’s something…” 

“Sometimes I’d see her talk to herself and the animals.” The man pulls out a cigarette and lighter to smoke. “She’d walk around aimlessly like a ghost. Used to scare the hell outta me.” As he laughs, smoke escapes his lungs. He wheezes a little before continuing, “But now she follows and watches you like she’s worshipin’. If only she did the same with her daddy. Although with a face like yours, I can’t blame the girl.” 

“Pardon? What do you mean by that?” Sunghoon, bemused, watches the man smoke and laugh between weak coughs. “She has a dad?” His last question is overroad by the man who speaks over him. 

“You keep up your work, kid. I outta get back to mines too.” And then he’s walking away with a low chuckle, shaking his head to himself. 

Sunghoon’s aware of your mother. He always thought it was just the two of you running things. He’s never once seen a man, your father, leave the house or so much so be around it. This gives him more to think about, especially on the fact that he still doesn't know much about you at all. You’re still an enigma to him, but he wants everything. 

By the afternoon when all the guys are finishing up their break, you finally come out of the house. With the sound of the front door opening, Sunghoon is quick to straighten his posture and find your eyes. You’re already looking at him, watching him and his surroundings with no expression. His cheeks burn and he can’t help the smile forming on his lips. 

Two and a half days without seeing you feels like so much longer. 

He stands up from the picnic table, grabbing his newspaper wrapped bundle of greenery and shyly hiding it behind his back. He walks over to you, tripping over his feet as he approaches the porch steps to the house. You stand there in front of the door but at the top of the few stairs, arms crossed and amused. 

He’s diffident, arms behind him and modestly attempting to hide how nervous he feels on the inside. His stomach is doing flips, his heart racing. On top of already sweating. He feels like he could throw up his lunch right in front of your feet. He swallows thickly before slowly bringing his hands out in front of himself. 

“I,” he clears his throat, “ehem, I got these for you.” With outstretched arms, the bundle of flowers shake in his trembling hands. He suddenly feels he’s too nervous to even meet your eyes, so he watches the chipped paint wood of the front porch steps. 

You just stand there, watching him with wide eyes and your heart in your throat. Your mouth is lost for words, glancing around at the few farmhands who haven’t left yet and are staring at Sunghoon’s exchange in a similar bewilderment. Some are trying to keep themselves from bursting out into laughter.

“Are you some kind of stupid?” You whisper harshly for only him to hear, snatching the flowers out of his hands. “Why the hell would you do this?” Your words like your tone are mean, but in your chest there’s a raging pounding. It’s a seething raw emotion that doesn’t know how to be dealt with. You’ve only just stepped out of the house and your body feels like it’s inside a furnace. 

Sunghoon’s head shoots back up to look at you, his face and heart drop. “I-I’ve never had a girlfriend before so I wasn’t sure what to do.. This is what boyfriends do, right?” He takes a hand to scratch at the back of his head. Inner turmoil takes over and he thinks he’s fucked up. He bites at his lip, doing his best not to instantly cry in regret. 

You notice this and sigh, irritated. You look from the neatly wrapped white roses and tulips and back to Sunghoon. “So you are stupid,” you mumble before taking your own bottom lip between your teeth. A part of you wants to sneer, but you spin on your heels to hide the warmth that floods your face in substitution. “I’m throwing them away,” you announce, opening the door and walking back inside your house. 

Sunghoon, broken, just drops his head and turns back. A few of the farmhands are snickering from not too far away, chattering among each other and eyeing Sunghoon. He wishes God would smite him on the spot from the humiliation. 

Wanting to avoid everything for a little while, he thinks of heading to the lodge to lay down in hiding. But before he can walk away, the front door of your house swings open once more. He glances back at you, meeting your eyes like he always seems to do. 

“Done for the day already?” You call over to him, now leaning over the banister of the porch with crossed arms. 

Sunghoon, unable to refute you, offers a weak smile and shakes his head. “No.” 

He walks back over to you and you meet him halfway. You don’t say anything else. You don’t bring up the fact that he had bought you flowers or confused the odd relationship you share for dating. It’s cute in all its blind innocence, but that just goes to show you that you have more work to do with him. 

You don’t think of messing with him today. He’s distinctly grown too clingy with how much time you’ve spent with him. Yet you can’t ignore him either. The two of you carry out the rest of the day’s farm work in silence. The inner fury you feel with him doesn’t seem to go away, despite how he hasn’t said much or even brushed skin with you. 

You don’t know how you’re remaining pacific by his side. The rampaging of your heart strings tug like a screaming instrument just from being next to him. How he can keep walking tall, stare at you when he thinks you aren’t looking, or even smile at you is beyond what you know is capable of humans. Men like him only existed in books and movies. You wonder if he’s perhaps playing a game like you.

By the time he’s in the truck to go back to town to catch a bus into the city, you’re sitting at the lake dock. Criss crossed legs, a bouncing knee, and fingernails being ripped at by your teeth. You stare blankly at the water, hoping for that sense of serenity to encapsulate you. It never seems to come. It just feels cold.

So you decide on punishing him for making you feel this way. 

You don’t leave your house for the next three days. You don’t make yourself known, heard or seen. However, you’re peeking out every window of your house to get any chance of a view of him. You hate yourself for being so curious of him in the first place. What was supposed to be good fun has only left you feeling angry. Taking his innocence was never going to heal you, or even make him like yourself. In fact, it’s making you sicker.

And on the night of the fourth Thursday, you’re laying in bed staring at your ceiling. A stuffed animal is hugged tightly to your chest. You can’t sleep and you can’t stop thinking about someone for the first time in your life. No amount of tossing and turning, counting sheep, or button presses to your distorted singing, stuffed bear made it easier. 

Somehow, you ended up punishing yourself. You always had a knack for that, historically, but this time felt different. It actually kind of hurt. Being alone came naturally to you, but tonight it hits you just how lonely you’ve always been. 

　Friday, the farmhands are huddled on the front porch of your house. All the animals are safely away in their designated homes thanks to their help. It started to storm in a heavy downpour only minutes ago. What started out as a dark gray gloom and windy rain quickly turned into an early flooded property, illuminated by strikes of flashing lightning and roaring thunder. 

You stand dry under the protection of the porch roof by the front door. Watching and listening to your mother suggest the shaking cold, soaked men take shelter in the lodge until the sky lets up so they can head home. 

Sunghoon hasn’t spared a look to you all day, but you know that he feels his eyes on you. It’s in the way he shifts awkwardly amongst the men that ignore him. How his eyes are trained low and unfocused yet always trying to move in your direction. His wet hair falls over his face, concealing his emotions you wish to dissect. He comes off as stoic but you know he wears his heart on his sleeve; how his body language speaks volumes. 

Your mother pushes past you to get back inside, saying she’ll check the basement for a spare heater that the boys could use at the lodge. There’s something in you that makes you move without thinking. Suddenly a hand is tugging at the bottom of Sunghoon’s damp jacket for his attention. The material is too thin for this weather and the thought of him becoming sick crosses your mind. 

“It’s warmer here,” your words, for once, came out soft. Too much so, being lost in the cracking sound of thunder. He looks at you through his bangs. The wave of alleviation from whatever he was dealing with is palpable. His eyes and body almost look relaxed. You tug him towards you once more, insinuating that he follows you. 

He does. Like whatever subconscious emotion made you approach him also made him follow you in. As he steps in, he notices the indistinguishable vibes of the farmer’s lodge. It’s updated and cleaner, but similar in aesthetics. A shotgun sits leaning up against the wall by the front door. His brows furrow and eyes narrow. “Those aren’t safe to have lying around…” he mumbles. 

You tug him towards the staircase to walk up, “It’s protection. Only my mother and I are here,” is mumbled back as you lead him up the wooden, creaking stairs. Your feet move light and quick, like a mouse in a home not theirs. If your mother saw you, there would be unnecessary consequences. And the possibility of your father’s involvement would only worsen such. 

Sunghoon cautiously steps into your bedroom, his body tenses at the sound of you shutting and locking the door. He feels on edge, wrapping his arms around his shivering body and soaked clothes. You move around him to sit on your bed, telling him to remove his sopping attire. He does so with shaking hands, leaving him in nothing but his underwear. He shyly looks around the room while using his hands to cover his manhoon. 

His eyes scan over you, sitting quietly on your bed with a look of contemplation that stares past him. A wooden cross hangs on the wall above your bed, the dark wood matches the decadent bed frame. The nightstand nearby has a pile of books and journals with a low light lamp and unlit candle. 

The large window has sheer white curtains drawn open and a vase on the windowsill. A glass vase filled with the flowers he gave you earlier in the week. His heart aches at the sight of the still healthy white roses and tulips, and a smile graces his lips. You liar! You kept them! Is what runs through his thoughts. 

Without Sunghoon realizing, you got up to grab a towel and drape over the back of his shoulders. He’s taken aback by your ghost-like actions, but offers you a small smile of appreciation. “Thanks…” 

You nod for response and glance from him to the vase of flowers he was lost in thought over. You didn’t have it in to explain yourself, mostly because you didn’t understand why you had done so either. 

He dries himself off and finds a place to sit at the end of your bed. You’re on the other end with your back pressed to the headboard, watching him, counting every mole you can find on his pale canvas. The stuffed animal you sleep with is being mindlessly fumbled around in your hands. 

Sunghoon turns to face you directly, he reaches a hand out, eyes shifting from your face and the winged bear. You shoot him a mean look at first, only holding it closer to yourself before your face softens to slowly extend it out to him. 

He takes it with careful hands and looks down to inspect the old toy. Its cream colored fur is dirtied and matted with age. The holographic satin wings on the back have loose stitching and its halo is crooked. Across the chest of the bear reads ‘Jesus Loves Me’ but it’s obvious the sewn name Jesus has been ripped away at. One paw has a red heart embroidered saying ‘press me’. His thumb brushes over the button heart before pressing down. The bear sings in a distorted happy voice the lullaby of Jesus loves me. 

“His name is Saint Michael,” you say quietly and he almost doesn’t catch it. Sunghoon can only breathe a laugh because he finds the dichotomy cute. You almost laugh too, but bite your tongue and look back to your empty hands. You don’t know it but he can see you try to fight your little smile. To him, this moment means more than anything; he’s starting to see you’re more tender than you realize. It brings him a sense of surety in knowing that he can break you like you to do him. 

Silly as it may seem for a troubled girl, the bear was the only comfort you had throughout childhood. There was no kindness from your father, no solace from your mother, no guide in knowing life or love. But there was Saint Michael, the stuffed angel bear; he may not have defended you in battle but he hugged you back, and that was enough to cherish him like a deity. 

Sunghoon crawls across the bed and sits himself next to you, too close for your liking, but you don’t push him away. He hands the stuffie back to you and you place it on the nightstand to face away from you. You lower yourself in the bed, shuffling under the covers of the blanket and he does the same. His skin naked bare yearns for more warmth, yours specifically. 

You feel him turn on his side next to you, pressing up against you despite there being enough space on the bed. His movements are awkward and nervous like he is. You feel a certain pressure against your thigh that isn’t his bones or limbs. You spare him a glance, he doesn’t know if it’s a warning or dare. 

“...Have I ruined you?” You wonder aloud, looking back to the ceiling. 

“No,” he answers quickly, shaking his head against your shoulder. The way he’s missed you in his desire to touch you, hands tingling with want to snake around your waist and pull you in tight. “I think I just want you all the time now. I can’t help it, m’sorry.” He sounds ashamed in his soft mumbles. 

“I’ll only keep stripping all that purity from you. Once it’s mine it’ll remain mine, you know that right?” You look back at him before brushing some of his drying hair from his eyes. He tries to lean up into the touch but your hand is taken back. “And I will pretend it’s healing all that’s missing from me. Do you really want to be mine, Sunghoon?” Your words are so gentle yet laced with threat. 

“Yes,” he exhales, “I want to be yours. Let me be yours please.” It’s hushed, a secret prayer with hope. His hips push further into the skin of your leg, where the hip meets the thigh. He wouldn’t mind going to Hell if it meant more time with you. 

“You beg like a needy barn animal in heat.” You use a hand to cup his face, he sighs into the hold as he eyes flutter to a close. You push your leg in between his, terribly close to his exposed and vibrating body. “So hump me like one.” 

“W-what?” he stutters out before licking over his lips, his thighs squeezing around the plush of yours now trapped in his. His eyes already wet with desperate want, staring back at yours.

“Do it. Like it’s mating season and you want to claim me before anyone else.” 

A cracked voice whine falls from his lips and he begins to roll his growing bulge against you. You watch as he sucks in breaths between quiet breathy moans. His pink, plump lips pursing and falling open. His eyes try to stay on your face, how close you are to him, but they fall shut sometimes in his basking of rapture. It’s a slutty sight of a faith-sickened boy. 

He loves the little to no proximity that there is. His hands find place on your waist, and he’s aware of how that makes you feel, but he can’t stop it. He wants more and more of you. His hands slide up under your shirt, the feeling on your bare skin in his hands makes his body shudder. Untouched, warm flesh for his large hands to explore and learn every curve of. 

Even you stiffen at his exploration, holding in your breath as if you’ve forgotten how to breathe. Your shirt lifts up more with his hands and the exposure is daunting like you’re revealing your insides. 

The pit of your stomach lights up and you're frozen under his clutch. The pads of his fingers hold you so tight as if he’s scared you’ll disappear. His cock is raging and you can feel every pulse of blood that his heart beat floods to. He’s humping into you desperately, chasing the euphoria that he could never find on his own. Such a delicate, shy boy now driven by lust and longing. 

“You’re pathetic and disgusting. You’re practically fucking me through our clothes,” you murmur while you try to push his hands down off you, but his grip won’t let up. Instead his nails dig further into you, a barely sounding broken noise escapes you from the pain. This makes his body collapse further into you, his head dropping between your shoulder and neck. His movements are sloppy and rushed. 

“N-no, I’m still good. You make me feel good, I am so good,” he whines, tears beginning to fall from his eyes to your shoulder. You try to imagine his holy water is washing you clean but it only singes. 

“Tell me that only I make you feel good, that you’re only good for me.” 

“Only you—can only be you to make me good,” he cries against your warmth, rocking himself into you roughly. His leaking cock begins to twitch against you and his hips won’t quit their stuttered jerks. 

You hum lightly and run a hand through his hair, pushing it back from his face. He looks up at you with those desperate, wet, dark eyes and you can’t help but acknowledge how pretty he is like this. His puffy cheeks are flushed pink as the tip of his nose. “Only for me,” you mumble.

“Yes, thank you, I am yours. Yes.” His breaths are jagged and heavy. There’s a coiling in his abdomen that feels borderline explosive. You were right, he craves this feeling. It’s surreal to him how he’s gone so long without it. His arms wrap around you completely now, holding you down while his body rolls on top of yours, situated between your legs. His heart hammers against your chest; he wants to mold into you, to become a singular rot. 

You squeak a gasp, being caged down by him. Your heart beats with the same veracity. One of your arms wraps around his waist to hold his back while the other holds the back of his head that hasn’t left the safety of your neck. He continuously sobs through meek moans. His hair tickles your skin like sparks while his lips brush over your jaw and neck making the tingle feel like crackling flames. 

Under his weight you feel yourself slipping in both confidence and dominance, your body wanting to sink down in submission from the unknown comfort of his control. Your heart aches and you feel something you’ve never felt before. You think you’re scared of it, yet your body pulls him closer. Hand in his hair, tugging with fearful aggression. Nails piercing the skin of his shoulder blade. You’re pliant under his heavy thrusts and sounds of sin. 

The rain pours harder outside with whips of harsh winds smacking the window. It’s almost like God’s wrath is screaming to be seen, to shout that He is watching. 

Sunghoon’s hard cock is relentless against your core. The rough grind of him is stimulating in ways   you’ve never felt before, your body sensitive and starving for more. You squeeze your eyes shut and moan within your closed mouth, hating yourself for feeling this way because it was never supposed to be about you. You are betraying yourself more than your fathers.

The sounds you try to withhold make Sunghoon weaker. He feels uncontrollable, only becoming needier and hungrier with his movements, “I can’t stop. I can’t stop.” He whines, begging for you to vocalize how you feel it too. 

You feel like you’re breaking underneath him, and it feels shameful. Like every harsh word your father ever spat at you was true now that you’re a part of the experience and not just the cause. Everything is too much. It takes every ounce of strength you have to turn both of your bodies over. Now sitting up on top of his lap, you can finally breathe again, sighing in relief. He whimpers at the distance between you both but also from the view of you. 

He moans your name softly as he grips your hips, pushing himself up into your clothed pussy like he’s fucking you. Your hands push down on his shoulders. You stare into his eyes with a plain expression and contrasting sharp eyes, grinding your hips back down on top of him. It’s hard to ignore the way it makes you feel, watching him fall apart beneath you as his pulsing cock fucks against you, but you manage. 

“Cum for me,” you demand quietly, “make a mess and imagine it’s inside me.” 

“Holy fu—ngh,” his entire body spasms and shudders with a low groan falling from his open lips. His movements slow down only to become lazier and uncoordinated. You can feel the warm wetness he spills soak through your thin pajama shorts and underwear. 

“You’re right. You are good for me,” you coo softly, cupping his face and using your thumbs to wipe away the tears. Your hips circle and swivel slowly on him until his quivering cock finishes cumming. 

Sunghoon has a sparkle to his wet eyes. The way the gentle praise left your lips makes him melt, and he can’t stop the flickering glance between your eyes and lips. He breathes heavily through his post clarity. Still he basks in your touch with a hopeful look in his eyes. His tongue slides over his lips before he’s leaning up towards your face, hands affixed to your waist to pull you closer to him. 

This makes a wave of panic wash over you, knowing what he wants to do. You shake your head no and pull yourself away, slipping off of his lap only to turn away from him. 

“None of that. It’s not what-” 

And then there’s a press of lips to your cheek. Your face burns as if a hot coal was what kissed your face. Your eyes go wide, turning to see the boy sitting up next to you. He only wears a shy smile as he sees your reaction.

“I’ve wanted to do that for a week now,” he admits with a small laugh. “Not exactly there but that’s fine. I wish you would let me help you feel good too.” he whispers, looking back to the windowsill where the gifted flowers stood in their vase with the raging storm as their backdrop. 

“That’s dumb and I don’t need to,” you reply, still watching him stare forward. Your chest feels painful; it’s an ache like shattered glass trying to piece together in the wrong ways. Stabbing but trying.

“I think you deserve to,” he argues. “But I understand if it’s not what you want. I was really touchy and I shouldn’t have been because you don’t seem like it. I was too caught up in the moment.” His mind goes to the mess he’s still sitting in and he feels self-conscious all over again. “Is it embarrassing how much I need you?”

You blink at him, swallowing the words that were never going to come out because you didn’t even know what they should or would be. So you settle with a simple, “No.”

You think it would kill you to admit how much you actually always wished to be wanted, needed, or loved. A bigger part of you didn’t think you were worthy of it, let alone capable. The world had such a way of saying otherwise. Until it brought Sunghoon to you; the boy who showed you feelings and experiences you never thought possible. 

As if he could read your mind, he asks, “Why did you choose me out of everyone?” He falls back onto the bed, laying down and pulling the blanket over himself. 

“I think you reminded me of a lamb.” 

“Pardon?” His brows furrow. 

You lay back down next to him, facing him like he is to you. “Pretty, white, and docile. You were so nervous when I first saw you—sometimes you still are.” You even laugh a little. “When you shook my hand I knew I could do anything to you because you’d let me.” 

“You think I’m pretty?” He smiles wide, scooting closer to you. 

You scoff with an eye roll, leaning further away from him. “Oh shut up, you’ve seen a mirror.” 

And then it’s his turn to laugh a little. He looks at you like you’re the reason the sun rises and falls. It kind of hurts you to see him like this because it reminds you of your initial rotten intentions and how they’re dissipating the more you’re with him. 

Time passes faster than the two of you realize. There’s light banter and easy conversations. You learn more about Sunghoon. Where he goes to school, what he studies, and who his friends are. He tells you of the sports he used to do and what he does in free time with his best friend. The more you learn about him, the more you understand his naivety and how despite what you’ve done, he won’t change. There’s something lovely about it. 

You don’t have much to share about your life the way he does, at least not in the same light. But you show him your favorite books, drawings you made over the years, and share the stories of movies you found interesting. He savors the moment of you simply confiding, enjoying the more he can know about you. 

The storm passes later in the evening. So caught up in borrowing time, the rain has slowed down to a simple pitter patter. The clouds dispersed and the setting sun only came through to say goodbye to the day. 

The sound of the truck that the farmhands use to take back to town is heard roaring to life, signalling you and Sunghoon that it’s safe and time to head out. 

Sunghoon jumps out of bed but by the time he’s shoving himself into his still damp jeans and looking out the window, the truck is already speeding down the dirt, now mud riddled road. 

“They just left without me,” he breathes out. “I’m used to them leaving me out, but t-this is.. How am I going to get home?” He looks back to you with sad eyes, not the light they had earlier. He’s not shocked by their actions, but he is disappointed. A hand runs through his hair in his stress. 

“Should I kill them?” Your question is brazen, body and voice eerily still in your seriousness. 

“W-what?!” he whispers in shock, freezing for a moment. 

“I’m joking.” You sit up and watch Sunghoon resume getting dressed. “I think you should head back to the lodge for the night. There’s a washer and dryer for your clothes. And spare food for dinner too.” 

Sunghoon nods slightly, “your jokes are weird, but okay.” He looks like he’s thinking of something, taking his bottom lip between his teeth in thought before speaking again. “Can you stay with me for the night at least?” he asks shyly. 

“No,” comes out quicker than you intended. “...But I guess I can walk with you there.” 

He nods again but now with his signature small dimpled smile. You almost forgot about being angry at the other farmhands for taking it away. 

You have to make sure the coast is clear before leaving the house. You tiptoe down the halls and stairs, weary of where your mother is inside the house. To your luck, she’s in her usual state. She’s passed out on the couch with two empty bottles of wine on the floor. The television volume is low, playing a rerun of the reverend’s sermon; the devil himself of your childhood, preaching about how he lost his child to the otherside. 

With a finger to your lips, you silently signal for Sunghoon to be quiet and to follow you out. 

Once safely out of the front door, you take his hand in yours and start running for the lodge. The tall boy is behind you, so you don’t get to see the bright smile on his lips or in his eyes as you run through the light run towards the lodge. 

Now standing in the front doorway of the farmer’s lodge, wet from the sky all over again and still hand in hand, Sunghoon bravely speaks up.

“I don’t like it when you disappear on me,” he breathes out shakily, honestly. “Nobody else sees me like you do,” he squeezes your hand tighter in his, feeling you begin to pull away. “Come with me into the city tomorrow. We can- I’m not sure yet, but I’m sure I want more time with you.” 

His eye contact is unwavering, begging. Both of his strong hands hold onto yours. You glance from your hand then back to his pleading expression. He will always remain so sweet, no matter what you do to him. 

“I felt less lonely before I met you,” you confess, eyes unblinking as you stare up at him for a long pause. “I’ll meet you here in the morning.” 

In only seconds, he’s pulling you into a hug. His arms wrap around you so tightly as he holds you to his chest. You go stiff in his arms, forgetting how to breathe for a moment. What feels suffocating at first turns into a warmth you’ve become all too familiar with, and it was never anger. The indignation you always wear is just a hand me down from your parents; it doesn’t fit you right even though it’s comfortable. 

With a shaky exhale, you wrap your arms around him too. The hug surrounds you like a blanket of unknown comfort. Your ear pressed to his chest listens to the sound of his racing heart. You can feel the pound throughout his entire body too. Every emotion held within is trying and fighting to be seen. It’s still so cold from the rain but he feels contrast, only warm. His lips press a kiss to the top of your head, making your body burn even more and your hold all the tighter. 

　True to your word, you meet Sunghoon at the farmer’s lodge the next morning. He seems happier than usual. Very giddy to be spending a weekend day with you without work in the way. No distractions or excuses to leave. Just the two of you and a new day with zero obligations.

Because you had a spare bike, you both are able to peddle towards town to the bus stop together. Having made these frequent trips alone, you’re familiar with the owner of the gas station at the stop. He’s a deaf older man, and it surprises Sunghoon that you know how to sign and ask him to hold onto the bikes until you’re back. You tell Sunghoon that you learned some basics from reading a book you bought a long time ago. 

Stunned, Sunghoon realizes that you went out of your way to do so for one man who watches your bike while you endure solo trips. You, the odd girl who was mean and sinful, used your money and learned a language for one man who did a simple favor. He’s learning more to admire you for by the day, and it’s crazy to him how you don’t see your own charm. 

Sunghoon pays your bus fares even though you insisted on being capable of doing so yourself. Sat in the middle of the bus that’s only barely half filled, he asks if there’s anything you’d like to do for the day while in the city. Nobody has ever asked you such an effortless thing, and you like it more than you imagined. Just uncomplicated curiosity of your wishes. 

“The book store. The small yellow one on main street. Maybe see a movie if anything is worth seeing.” You shrug, spewing out the usual things you do. Looking around the taken bus seats, you notice some familiar faces. 

“That sounds nice,” he smiles, “our first real date! I think there’s a cafe near that book store too. Do you like coffee?” 

Your cheeks burn as you stare at him in bewilderment, “you think we’re going on a date?!” 

“Of course we are,” he laughs like it’s obvious and wraps an arm around your shoulder, looking out of the window. All that the town can offer him other than you passes by. “I’m a fan of americanos. You seem like you’d take your coffee black.” 

“I don’t even like coffee,” you mumble, turning your attention out of the window as well. “Tea is nice though.” You add in, crossing your arms over your chest. 

“Hm. I can see that too,” he hums as he pulls you closer into his side. 

So much can change in such little time. You’ve experienced this many times in one life. How one day can open a new door to a path otherwise not taken. Showing Sunghoon more of you has made him bloom into a larger ray of light. He seems more comfortable, and now you’ve become the awkward one. 

The ride to the city doesn’t normally take this long, or at least you don’t think it does. Every second with him by your side makes the experience feel brand new. The theme of time being unreal is common with him, you’ve discovered. It’s when you’re in the bookstore and see a holiday sale that you realize it’s not even June anymore. 

While Sunghoon looks for books for his upcoming college semester, you find yourself in genre sections you never really cared for before. The dark and racy ones were fun to bring home, sure. But innocent, cliche romance was always something cringey to you. Now if you change your perspective to that of research then it’s less daunting, right? Perhaps you’d make sense of all the things you’re discovering about yourself and him. Yeah, that’s convincing enough. 

He teases you at the checkout counter when he sees what you picked out. Your face flushes in embarrassment and you can’t even bite back at him or defend your choices. So you smack him with the book on the way out while he laughs and makes jokes that aren’t very funny. 

The two of you do manage to catch a movie. You honestly didn’t care to see one, but having to sit silently in a theater for at least an hour and half seemed like enough time for him to, hopefully, forget and drop the whole book situation. It’s a summer slasher film. A group of teens go camping and the plot is very ‘who done it’ style. Overall, it’s a fun choice. You have your turn to laugh and joke when Sunghoon gets jumpy or scared. 

After the movie, you both end up at the cafe Sunghoon mentioned while on the bus. There was something painfully intimate about everything today. But especially sitting down to eat with him. Not even your mother could meet you at the table anymore. 

“You seem softer today,” Sunghoon states, setting his half-drunk coffee down. “Almost nervous. Is it because we’re out together for our first date? Or just the people in general?” 

You raise a brow at his brazen curiosity and observation. “Maybe you’re rubbing off on me,” you play with your fork to move around the barely touched food in front of you. “Or maybe it’s a bit of both.” 

“If you come to the city enough to know sign language for the man who watches your bike, do you like it better than the countryside?” 

“Don’t know. I’m used to the quiet life, but leaving it behind and pretending it’s not there is nice too.” 

“What keeps you there?” 

“The scenery. The air. The lake. Being friends with the animals.” You look up from the plate to Sunghoon who is watching you like a lecture: attentive and learning. “I’m not very good with people, so I think it suits me alright.” 

“You’re good with me though,” he argues softly.

“No, not really. I wish I was more like everyone else,” you inhale deeply as your eyes wander around the bustling cafe. There’s a choir of laughter, conversations, and social dynamics you would have to study to master. “If I were a good person, everything would be easier.” 

“...but I like you as you are,” he mumbles loud enough for you to hear, watching you shift in your seat. He doesn’t think you’re not a good person, and it hurts that you see yourself as such. 

As Sunghoon speaks, there’s a chime that follows as the front door of the cafe is swung open. A disheveled man stumbles inside, heavy feet stomping the tile floor to attempt to stabilize his disorientation. The man burps obnoxiously loud, and many eyes find him with the grand entrance. 

He scratches at his lengthy, unkept beard as he looks around. When his sunken eyes find you sitting at the table nearby his eyes grow wide and his mouth falls open. His hand shakes with a pointed finger in your direction, “y-you! The girl from the reverend’s sermon!” He’s loud, capturing the attention of everyone now. His sloppy movements make way towards you and Sunghoon; you feel everything within you freeze, and your heart knocks at your chest fast and hard with anxiety.  

He slams his hands on the table, causing your plates and drinks to rattle. He reeks badly of alcohol and his crazed eyes never leave yours. You swallow thickly, fight or flight mode still trying to understand the situation before you. Meanwhile Sunghoon, worried and confused, slowly begins to stand up and grab your bags. 

But you, you’re frozen staring at the messy man who talks of your greatest hate. Your hands tremble on the table. 

“I thought the reverend made you up for stories, but my God! You’re the real living thing just like the pictures; his only sin,” he laughs boisterously in your face and you try not to gag. “I saw him a little whiles earlier, ya know,” his voice goes quieter, it’s taunting even. You wish to remain calm but your eyes tremble and a frown takes your face. “I should go find him and tell him you’re here. He really-”

Sunghoon takes your hand, practically dragging you away from the table. You almost fall from your seat, like a baby deer just learning to walk, there’s little strength to your legs. 

“It’s not too late! You can be on the right side of things!” his voice ricochets off the walls of the now quiet cafe. “If I can be saved by his preaching, so can you! Look at me!” His mad laughter follows you and Sunghoon outside. 

Sunghoon watches you stand on uneasy feet, zoned out staring at the sidewalk. It didn’t take much to put the pieces together that the drunken man was talking about your father. Your father being a reverend who’s not in the picture gave him much to wonder about, but now isn’t the time. He just wanted to get you somewhere away from this memory. 

He crouches down in front of you. You slowly blink back to reality, now looking down at his back. You don’t want to speak so you poke his shoulder in questioning.

“Hop on. Let’s go somewhere else.”

“What if I’m heavy?” you look at the bags he’s already holding, feeling that you too are a burdened weight he doesn’t need to hold. 

“I’ve got good muscles, remember? Good for farm work,” he’s patient and calm with you while his eyes watch the man from outside the glass cafe windows. “Come on, baby.”

Without thinking, you end up on his back. He carries you on his back, strong arms holding your legs while yours are loosely around his neck. Your insides are a flared up hurricane but at least that allows your body to forget the empty ache you left at the cafe. With your chin hooked over his shoulder, you watch the many people and downtown stores that pass by.

Sunghoon doesn’t exactly know where he’s walking, but thinks it’s best to end the day here and return you to the bus stop. He’s never seen that look on your face before—the one you had when the man was loud in your face. He didn’t like it, and he’s sure you hated it. You looked intimidated, or afraid. 

“Would you kill him for me?” you watch the side of his face, “the reverend, I mean.” 

He stops in his tracks and turns his head to look back at you, “w-what? I can’t kill someone… and you should joke like that.” he panics, looking around to see if someone was listening to the wild conversation and request.

“Yeah, I know. I’m fucking with you,” you look away to hide your smirk, “and only half joking.”

“Did you believe him before?” He starts walking again, but this time at a slower pace knowing the bus stop isn’t too far now. 

“Who? My dad or Our Father?” There’s a use of air quotes at the end of your question. 

“Both?” his head tilts. 

“Neither,” you confirm. There’s a pause for thought and Sunghoon waits for you to further explain. “My relationship with both is too similar. They’ve both known me my whole life, right? Seen all of my wrong doings and in return shown wrath through unnecessary punishments called forgiveness. In what good world is tolerance violent?”

“What do you mean? What did he do?”

“Sometimes, after my mother set the table for dinner, he would knock my plate to the floor. Tell me to eat off the ground like the animal I was or starve.” Sunghoon frowns at this, coming to a slow stop when he sees the bus shelter bench. “Sometimes I had days and nights locked in the barns, but he switched it up to the basement when I was too close with the animals.” You laugh a little, but he senses the pain behind it. “I watched him kill the animals, too, only to smother me in their blood. Beatings were rare, but I think only because he despised the thought of even touching me.”

Sunghoon slowly sets you down to the ground and breathes out your name safely, taking your hands into his. He looks at you with sorrow, like he was the one who endured it with you. 

“God’s orders, am I right? My father, the church goers, speak of God like they’ve seen his face and heard his voice, but they haven’t. I would’ve by now too.” 

If He was really in everything, all around, why did He always turn a blind eye? Why does He pretend to not know you? It only made it harder to believe in—something that would bring you here, torture you then watch you suffer for not living how it pleases. God wants to be believed in, but so do you. Only you would never beg for compassion. 

Sunghoon squeezes your hands in his, “I don’t think you should stay there. You never deserved that… even if you’re volatile and strange… because you’re also kind and caring. It’s why I like you. It’s their fault for not seeing that,” he reassures. “I haven’t been through what you have, and I can’t understand. I-I mean I can try to, ya know… it’s not like I’d leave if I didn’t.” His words begin to stumble nervously, not confident in its sympathy reaching you where needed.

You laugh nervously, trying to tug your hands away from his grip that doesn’t let up. “Okay sure whatever, this is really embarrassing now…” You swallow hard and find difficulty in meeting his eyes. 

That’s all that matters, what he said to you, but you didn’t have it in you to say it. He already knows it though, smiling small and holding your hands still. Without words or excessive displays he can still see it in your eyes, the subtle comfort of acceptance. 

He could never blame you for your nature. He sees your anger as you just trying to be strong all while being sad. Whether you are his lover or executioner, he would accept you as you are every time with open arms, receiving hands. Even more readily, now.

　Even more time has passed since knowing Sunghoon. Summer has never flown by so fast. The calendar doesn’t exist to you anymore. It’s only the days you see him and the days that you don’t. The season will be wrapping up in the next few weeks, but only for him. He has to return to his regular scheduled routine of pursuing education while you will stay here, on the farm. It’s rare for you to feel this emotion: fear. You are scared of losing him. And the concept is something you do your best to avoid thinking about because it makes your skin itch with anxiety. It crawls over you like something that needs to be cut out. 

And then an idea hits you. Something far more deep-seated than everything else you’ve done with Sunghoon that would solidify that this summer is real and yours. Something that will always stay; a reminder that good things are possible despite how the world has made you. 

It’s a damn near perfect day. The sun is so bright, and only peers down onto you both through the gaps of the trees. It’s just warm enough. Just quiet enough aside from the sound of Sunghoon’s gentle breathing and natural composition of the nature that surrounds. Rustling of leaves, chirps of birds, and scurrying of whatever life that wishes to not be seen. 

You both sit criss cross at the wooden dock by the lake, simply enjoying the scenery and all it has to offer. His large knee is affixed to yours. If this was early June, you would have moved away. But now it’s a week into August and you wouldn’t have it anywhere else. Just like you always imagined, and secretly wanted, the view is nicer with someone else. 

He didn’t bother asking why you never brought him here before, or why it is that you chose to now. He’s just happy that you decided to at all. 

You slip a hand into your boot and pull out a pocket knife. You flick it open and do a brief inspection of the cleaned blade. The sun glints off the metal as you turn it. 

“Sunghoon, do you trust me?” 

His eyes flicker from your blank face to the blade. He nods slowly with a swallow, “of course.” There’s a subtle apprehension to him. You hand him the small blade and leave your palm facing up, open to him. 

“Cut a diagonal line down my hand,” you point and draw a line down the middle of your palm. 

“Huh, seriously?” he takes the blade confused and concerned with what you’re asking of him. “Why? I can’t hurt you.”

“Do it. Don’t think of it as hurting me, but still do it deep enough to leave a scar.” 

He struggles to understand the situation, but you’re so serious and clearly waiting for him to do as you asked. He exhales deeply, taking your hand in his while the other holds the knife just above the bared skin. Hesitant and slow, the tip of the knife pressed down into your flesh. You wince a little, which makes him pause. You nod, encouraging him to continue and he does despite hating the act. He slices the palm of your hand open just as you wanted. You hate blood, but it’s not so bad when caused by him.

“Shit, it stings,” you swallow through the pain. The feel of open flesh burning and stinging. “Your turn,” you exhale while taking the knife back with your free, unharmed hand. 

“My turn,” he agrees as if all logic has left him and readily displays his palm to you. Deep down, he feels guilty for hurting you, so to make it even he wants to feel the same.

Just as hesitant and careful, you create a matching wound in his hand. A deep enough, bleeding, lesion in his left hand to match  your right one. He cringes at the sight and the pain before looking back to your face. Your expression is so soft yet attentive, almost awestruck. 

“Even when you hurt me you’re gentle,” he remarks, watching you in amazement with a meek smile. 

“I am not gentle. I have sullied you,” you remind him, your eyes attempt to glare but they’re too bright in his. 

“In the softest way, why?” His voice is delicate and still like the lake that sits before you. You blink slowly at him because there are no words to be found. He continues, “I never thought of you as a bad person,” he pauses as you drop the red stained knife, unsure if he should continue at first but does regardless. “And, uhm, I’ve thought a lot about this summer. What I've learned from you. Purity is constructive—like something made to bring shame.” You don’t move, watching him. “I don’t have to be clean to be good…and your hands never made me dirty. Because they never were either.” 

Like an excavator to your tall, strong built walls Sunghoon has knocked your shield down. The facade of your character is breaking down, crumbling into the broken pieces that made it. A single tear escapes your eye and runs down your cheek. It’s rare for you to cry and you’re disgusted with the reality as to why it’s now that you break. Simply falling apart from kind words. 

You try to use everything in you to ignore the heat in your body, to show the anger you think you’re feeling inside. So your eyes remain sharp and strong, boring into his, as they still water. You swallow the dry lump in your throat and without a word, you take his hand into yours to join in a mix of blood. 

At first, you had one goal; one similar to murder. The sparkle he had in his eyes, you wanted to eat—to make them empty—and see the world ugly and godless like you. Yet somehow, somewhere along the way, his eyes shone even brighter. You only wanted to take and take of the innocent boy, but in this moment you realize, maybe I just wanted to give him some of me. 

You wipe the wet drop away from your face with haste, pretending as if it was never there. Whatever blood oath you’re making with Sunghoon allows you to feel something indescribable. You don’t know if it’s deserved, but you smile anyways. Because the indescribable feeling feels like it’s an unknown, unspoken promise. 

He’s seen you smile before with insidious malice, but this time, for the first time, you are really smiling. It’s a raw expression of surfacing emotions, and he returns the emotion like the sun. He thought of you beautiful before but with your brightness finally peering through your clouds, he believes you to be heaven sent. A part of him always wanted to see you cry—usually it was him with tears in his eyes; which is funny, because he wasn’t much of a cryer himself. You just had that way of breaking him down. He knows now he does for you too. And he can tell that you’re probably the type of person who needs to cry the most. 

His hand squeezes yours tighter, a grip so loving, as you bind in one. Neither of your eyes or smiles leave each other until the bleeding stops. 

　A week later, Sunghoon asks you on a date. The summer fair is in town. It’s something like a festival where all the locals from towns around the city come to visit and join in on festivities from carnival games, rides, food, and uncommon entertainments. You think of being mean, denying him the acceptance of the date, but you have always wanted to go. So you said yes without your words: took his scarred hand in yours and nodded. 

The evening sky is a watercolor of warm tones as the sun begins to lay down for the night. The bright lights of the fair illuminate the large open field turned carnival. There’s a sea of people here tonight, and although it makes you nervous inside, having Sunghoon by your side makes the ordeal easier to handle. 

The line for the ticket booth is lengthy but it passes by. You approach the booth, standing a little behind Sunghoon who takes out his wallet to buy your entrance wristband passes and tickets. You look around at the many people: families, friends, and couples, all immersed in their own experience as the music and sounds blend in the background of conversations. 

“Oh wow! You’re really handsome,” the girl at the ticket booth gawks at Sunghoon. She straightens her posture and fixes her hair from her face, “one ticke-?”

Catching this, you step forward and snatch Sunghoon’s wallet from his hands, “he already knows that. Do your job or I’ll feed you to pigs.” You slap the cash amount for what you need down onto the table top with a straight face and mean eyes. 

Her eyes go wide and she hushes an apology, quickly giving you both wristbands and tickets for the evening. She even threw in extra tickets as you stared her down. 

Sunghoon watches you with a flushed face, even the tips of his ears burn red at your jealous threat. You both walk off into the fair, a sheepish smile on his face as he leads you through the crowd with an arm wrapped around your back and hand to your waist. 

“Was that one of your jokes too?” he grins down at you.

“Nope,” you glance at him with a small smile. You weren’t sure what came over you in the moment, but it was something internally deep, and territorial. An innate reaction to someone trying to appeal to something that belongs to you. It felt ugly and you didn’t like it. 

The idea that he could possibly be taken from you was a phenomenon you’ve thought of for a while now. Knowing he has an existing life outside you, outside of this summer, that he would return you made you sick. You’re far from perfect, or the right thing for him, and he could find a safer option if he ever pleased. Pushing the thoughts away is harder than you imagine, so you cling to his side even more. 

You and Sunghoon use up your spare tickets for carnival games. You toss rings around bottles, shoot water guns into the mouth of a clown frame, and throw darts at balloons. The both of you aren’t very skilled at any of the games, but it's fun enough to enjoy the time without winning a prize to show for it. 

Eventually, Sunghoon does find frustration within the ‘rigged’ set up of the games. He even pulls out his wallet for cash when the tickets are gone. You’re surprised at how competitive he is; his determined nature is something that stirs your insides around. You don’t know if you’ve ever smiled so much in your life. 

After 3 rounds of throwing a ball to knock over a moving target, he does manage to win. Going 3 for 3 and not missing a single shot. The excitement you feel when he succeeds takes over and you’re proud, doing little jumps in place and clapping your hands together. 

“You did it! You won!” you exclaim, hugging onto his side. 

He can only smile down at your joyfulness. A fire burns in his heart and he hugs you back, kissing your forehead. “All for you. Which prize do you want?” 

“It’s yours, you should pick it,” you blush, elbowing his side with a shy smile while your eyes keep looking up to the stuffed white lamb with a lace ribbon around its neck and a cushion gold bell adoring the throat. 

Of course, that’s the prize he ends up choosing. It might not be Saint Michael the stuffed bear, but it’s something far happier, cleaner, and softer. 

The stuffed animal never leaves your hold throughout the rest of the evening. It rides the many rides you and Sunghoon do. And sits at the picnic table with you both as you share fair snacks. Popcorn and cotton candy was never so sweet for either of you. Like contentment melting on your tongues. 

Cliche as ever, Sunghoon wants to end the night there with a round on the ferris wheel. The line moves quickly and when it’s your turn to step into the carriage, he takes your hand and sits you down the seat next to him. 

It moves slowly and rocks back and forth with shaky movements that have you gripping the side handles. With an arm around your shoulder, he holds you close to him. The array of flickering colorful lights and people below you feels almost magical. 

Taking your eyes from the heightened difference between you and the ground, you look back to the boy beside you who is already looking at you. The reflection of rainbow luminescence glistens in his eyes. It’s even prettier than the view from the top of the little world you’re in. You give him a shy smile, finding it impossible to look away. 

He says your name in a whisper, taking your chin between your fingers. “Thank you for choosing to let me in.” 

Confused and wide eyed, you watch him lean into your face. You gasp when his lips meet yours before returning the notion. With eyes closed, you melt into his kiss. It’s sweet as all the things you’ve experienced today because of him. 

It’s also as clumsy and messy as a kiss can be for two people who’ve never done so before. However, human nature and desire take over and ease the rest for you both. Lips move over another in a gentle waltz, careful and slow. 

And as if the situation couldn’t get anymore cliche, fireworks light up the sky. At first you thought it was just your imagination and all the books you’ve read flooding your consciousness, but the booming sounds and cheers of the crowd are too loud to not be real. 

You pull away from him first, and he’s already wearing a shit eating grin so wide that you can’t help but roll your eyes, fighting the urge to smile back at him. Your face burns in both embarrassment and adrenaline from the kiss. 

After that, you don’t leave the city like you should. The bus takes you both back downtown but neither you or Sunghoon feel it’s time for goodbye. So, for the first time, he takes you back to his apartment. You’ve never been to anybody else's home before, and it’s nerve wracking to say the least. The complex is large and somewhat modern, housing many of the second and third year private college students.

When you step inside, it’s quite plain but at least clean. You’re immediately greeted by a boy shorter than Sunghoon. He has a big mouth smile and shining dark eyes. His hair is shaggy but it suits him. He’s practically bouncing on his toes. You shift yourself behind Sunghoon and hold onto his shirt, hiding slightly from the excited puppy-like roommate. 

“How did it go? Oh, and nice to finally meet you,” he rambles out quickly, “I’m Jake. The best friend and roommate. I’ve heard a lot about you.” He shoots Sunghoon a wink before grinning back at you. He extends a hand for you to shake but you don’t reach out. Something about his eyes doesn’t sit right with you. 

“She’s shy,” Sunghoon laughs a little as he guides you past Jake and towards his room. “It was fun though. I recommend going before it’s gone.”

“Ah, you got yourself a nice little angel, huh?” Jake leans over the kitchen island, watching you both. His smile falters. “I’ll have one of my own some day.” For some reason, you think of him as a secret pervert.

Sunghoon laughs his comment off and tells Jake goodnight before showing you to his room. His room is neat and as simple as a college boy’s room can be. A bed, desk, dresser, closet, and bathroom. One poster of a musician you’ve never listened to and a window with unopened blinds. 

You sit yourself at the end of his bed and he sits down next to you. There’s some awkward silence as you look around, unsure of what you’re supposed to do. He feels similarly to your internal dilemma. 

“I-I’ve never had-”

“It’s okay,” you cut him off. Of course he’s never had a girl over. And of course you’ve never been over to a boys house. 

“Are you tired?” he asks, and you lie by nodding your head. So you both get ready for bed. He gives you a shirt to borrow for bed that change into in his bathroom while he changes into sweats and a t-shirt in his room. 

In minutes you’re both laying in his bed under the covers and staring up at his ceiling in the dark room. Not a word is said as you both lay there wide awake and untouching. But you know he’s wanting to by the way his body is shifting and turning, inching closer with every minute movement. 

And before you know it, although expected, his body is nestled closely to yours. His arms wrap around you, pulling you into an embrace. For the most part, he usually does keep his space. Knowing how you are when it comes to physical touch that feels too sudden or invading. But with barriers breaking down more over time, he thinks you’re learning to handle the comfort better. 

“I thought you were tired?” he mumbles, head on your shoulder. His hands trace up and down your arms that are wrapped around yourself like a guard. 

“I lied,” you whisper. Your eyes can’t look at him yet, so they remain aimless to the ceiling. Some moonlight slips through his cracked window blinds, giving you enough view of the spinning ceiling fan. 

“I had fun today. Mostly because you did. I like seeing you happy,” he smiles after kissing your shoulder that’s exposed in the neckline of his shirt too big for you. “And… I liked when you kissed me back,” his voice is quiet and shy-like. 

“Do you want to do it again?” Your eyes shift to him and you can barely see the warm flush to his cheeks. He’s cute. 

Taken aback at first, he just blinks at you with a parted mouth. Then he nods his head slowly, licking over his lips. 

You turn over onto your side to face him and his hands don’t leave your waist. Unsure of what to do with your own, you wrap them around his neck. Good thing they sit behind him and it’s dark in the room because it would kill you for him to notice the slight tremor in your fingers. 

With a scarily racing heart and stiff, trembling body you surge forward to kiss him. His lips are quick to capture yours. Soft and pillow-like, they mold into yours in waves. What starts off as clumsy and unskilled turns into hunger. Something desperate and needy. His grip feels bruising to your hips but in a nice way. In a way you want it to hurt more. 

His nails digging further into your flesh to keep you impossibly close make your lips gasp, or maybe it’s the lack of air, or just both. And instinctively his tongue is licking its way past your lips and into your mouth. He kisses you like he’s starved for it. His wet tongue drags over yours, and your teeth, then as far as it can inside of you. He whimpers, pressing his already hard cock to you as he licks and kisses you open. 

Your stomach has never burned this way before, and you feel the hot sensation all over then down to your core that aches like it’s hungry too. You feel disgusted by yourself but can’t fight the hum you make as you devour him right back. You’re getting wetter every second he’s in your mouth. 

This time, he pulls away first. Panting for air and staring at you with glazed over dark eyes. He licks over his wet lips again, savoring the taste of you on himself. He bites down onto it and a part of you wishes it was you he sunk his teeth in. 

“Can I do what I did last time?” he breathes out, his hips involuntarily jerking up against you at the thought alone. 

While trying to act like you’re not catching your breath too, you say quietly, “do whatever you want.” 

He kisses you again but with more desperation. You try to do the same but you can feel your heart and your head preparing for battle. The way he’s feeling you up and grinding himself on you is in no way unwanted, and that’s part of the reason you’re struggling to maintain presence. 

It’s so much happening so quickly, but you’d be lying to yourself if you said you didn’t imagine this happening eventually. Sex was inevitable. The way his body yearns to be one with yours makes you feel special almost. He’s already engraved into you but in his mind he has to be inside of you and it hurts so badly how you think the same. 

But is the last thing that keeps him pure really yours to take? You’ve stripped so much away from him for all the wrong reasons before and now it feels strange. You are no good and that’s all he is. 

The only thing keeping you here, in the moment, is him. His exploratory and gentle yet rough hands, his body grinding into you, his lips that can’t leave yours or your skin for even a second, and the weak wanting sounds that leave them. 

“I need more, please. I want- I need to feel good with you. Please,” he’s whining into your ear. Then pressing kisses along your jaw and neck that are all so tender, slow, and deliberate. Large hands caress you like you’re breakable, as if not already just a body of fragmented pieces made whole and called a person. 

Your still shaking hand reaches down between your two bodies and slips past his sweats. He had the nerve to go commando and you wish you could tease him, but you can’t. You’re lucky you’re even here right now and breathing his air. Your hand wraps around his aching length and gives him a few tugs to which he’s quick to moan. He kicks off his sweatpants while you bring him closer to you. The plush of your thighs trap him; he whimpers against the soft heat of your flesh. 

Your hips grind up into him once, showing him what he should do too. He’s slow to start, rocking himself between your thighs. Slutty and hopeless sounds leave him in a string of his want. His leaking hard cock is so close to your core. Only the thin layer of your underwear keeps him from feeling your clear need for him too. 

Wrapped in each other's arms, you bury your head to his shoulder. You can feel the pulse of his aching desire rubbing and grinding against you. It makes you shiver in sensitivity and cower further into his neck. You don’t bite down onto your lip, but his neck. There’s a sting to your eyes because you hate it—the wet warmth that pools out of you. Your sin sticks to your underwear and your skin like the red raining life of all the animals you made leave the earth; your haunting subconscious correlates with your growing pleasure. 

You know you’re not religious yet every time Sunghoon touches you there’s a divinity to it and it makes your hands want to join in prayer to thank the universe for sending someone like him to you. Because his hands roam your body as if they have in every world; as if there is not one timeline where you have not been made for him. Like you were carved from his rib every time. 

Your body smolders in that angry way it always did whenever Sunghoon got too close to you. Whenever his words were too kind, his touch too gentle, or god forbid when he just smiled at you. That fire is just the divine nature of your relationship, lighting up everywhere he touches and leaving flames in the wake. You thought it was your body rejecting his purity, but you were only denying the likeness. He made you feel good. And in the most ironic way possible. You just didn’t think you deserved it. 

Yet an anguished moan leaves you, rumbling against his skin as you bite down harder. Regardless of it all, he is yours right now. 

The feeling of your sinking teeth in him, the sounds you’re now making, and the damp heat between your legs he can’t stop chasing all makes his head spin. He bites down onto you just the same and it only makes you moan louder. 

“Please,” he’s whining again through the bite. His voice a needy tremble while his hips stutter and thrust between your legs that only squeeze tighter together. The way the fat of your legs hug his raging cock through his desperate grinds makes him chase more and more for that feeling he just can’t seem to reach. The crying tip kisses and pushes up then past your leaking folds every time. It drives you both insane. 

If your body is the fiery lake of creation's deepest pit, then he is the cleanest ocean of earth’s highest point. If anyone could extinguish you, and possibly make you feel whole, it was Sunghoon. 

This is the most horrifying reality you’ve come face to face with. Not just intimacy, but a stronger driving emotion. You have to open yourself, rip open your chest and bare your beating heart in all its naked vulnerability. Let it scream out I like being with you. You have allowed this person into your world that nobody else has dared to step foot in. To see you in such ugly ways yet still extend their arms for you. It’s a terrifying level of closeness that you’ve never once experienced and you don’t know what to do with. You’re beyond perplexed by what he’s done to you, in both terror and awe.  

You pull back from Sunghoon and he pauses everything for a moment to look at you, noticing your wet eyes. Before he can ask what’s wrong you reach down and slip off your underwear. You shift your body and maneuver him as best you can until he’s on top of you. Rattled with concealed embarrassment you remove his shirt and toss it somewhere to the floor, and he does the same. 

You take a deep breath and reach back down to his cock, lining it up with your pussy. You blink and swallow away all the things trying to stop you from allowing yourself him. Pliant beneath him, you grab his shoulders and pull him down to you for a quick kiss. Foreheads now pressed together with lips ghosting over the others, you tell him, “I hate you.” 

Sunghoon only smiles down at you before kissing you once more. With his arms caged around you, he slowly pushes himself forward. The fat tip of his cock fails to go through you, only sliding up and past the wet folds. He whines feeling the warm slick coat the head; his entire body shudders. He nearly cums from that alone. 

He looks at you confused, and nod once while trying to shift your hips around for a better angle. It’s not like you to be so quiet during things like this. It only tells him that for once, you’re nervous about new things the way he was. 

So he tries again, this time a little rougher. He thrusts his hips forward, the tip pushing past the tight walls but still barely in. You whimper at the intrusion and the feeling of you being stretched open. Your hands squeeze hold onto his biceps for purchase. 

The tight sensation of your pussy squeezing his tip feels otherworldly to him. He can’t help but need to sink deeper into you. His cock pushes in further at an agonizing pace until he’s as deep as he can possibly go. His arms shake while he tries to maintain his strength and keep himself from collapsing onto you completely. The wet walls that surround him flutter and try to pull him further inside, making him feel lightheaded. His moans are so needy it’s almost like he’s crying from the feeling. 

“Oh, f-fuck!” you whimper. Having Sunghoon completely inside of you feels so full. You’re stuffed with him and it hurts so good. “You gotta move, Hoon. Feels like you’re splitting me open.”

“You're so tight, mm.” His hips stutter from your words alone and he whimpers again. He pulls himself out halfway while your gummy walls kiss around him in an attempt to suck him back to be filled again. He begins to rock himself in and out of you. It’s inexperienced and awkward, but he gets the hang of it quickly. Doing what feels best for him and what seems to be the best for you too. 

“I hate you. I fucking hate you,” you whisper harshly, looking up at him with tear filled eyes. It all burns while feeling like heaven. Never have you been so full, held so gently, or seen than this summer. You bite back the breaking moans and whimpers. You claw at his skin. You even begin to cry when your hips can’t stop chasing his thrusts. 

“I love you too,” he whispers back. A kiss is pressed to your forehead as his cock pistons you. Sunghoon is smart enough to know you’re a liar. Your mean words that used to hurt him, he now understands. You’re not really a bad person. And you don’t hate him. You were just really damaged and if he’s damned for trying to heal that then he’s fine with that too. 

“I mean it,” your body shudders, feeling his tip pound so far and deep in places inside you that you didn’t know reachable. His fat cock drags out and forces through your tight hole, making you cream all over him more and more. The sounds that leave your body, the sounds your bodies are making, it’s so obscene. Fighting off the disgust and focusing on how he makes you feel is war. It’s so hard for you to win. 

“No you don’t,” he shifts himself to sit on his knees, taking your legs and wrapping them around his waist. He leans forward and kisses both of your cheeks before fucking himself into you again, only harder and faster than before. 

“Ngh,” you moan again through broken sobs, blinking away the tears as you stare up at him. “I’m t-trying to.” 

“I know, baby.” he mumbles before capturing your wobbling lips into a searing kiss. “It’s okay, haah, don’t cry. You’re good. You’re so good for me,” he says against your wet lips. You can only sniffle and try to turn your head away from him in your embarrassment. “No, no.” he takes your chin with his thumb and finger, forcing you to look back at him. His thrusts never letting up during his care. “Look at me. You’re so good to me.” He reminds you over and over. “We’re so good together. I’m yours. you’re mine.” 

“Say it again,” you sniffle through little sounds of sin. Your hand finds a place on his cheek, and your thumb rubs over his lips that wear a smile. 

“You’re so good, good for me. We are so good together. I am yours. And you are mine,” he says softly. His eyes are so filled with love, and if you could see your reflection in his then you would know yours are too. “Say you’re good, baby, it’s okay.”

“I’m good,” you sob through your whimpers, “I’m yours.”

To Sunghoon, the idea of sex was always sacred. Something that’s only done and shared between lovers bound by marriage of the church. But now, he thinks differently. He knows that there is no shame in him loving you now or years later. And he was more than happy to make love to you all night until you believed it too. 

　Perhaps there was a thing such as divine intervention and if God’s timing was alway right, he knew how to be evil with it too. Because the next day, when Sunghoon takes you home, he’s met with your maker. 

Your mother, aware of the frequent trips you’ve been making and how close you’ve grown to the summer farmhand boy, is quick to make a call to your father the night you don’t return home. It wasn’t necessarily because she cared for your well being. You’re more than capable of handling yourself. But it was an excuse to try and get him to come back. Only it doesn’t go how she wanted.

When you see the reverend’s car parked in front of your house, your heart drops. Sunghoon picks up on your tension, He sees how you go blank at the sight and slowly turn back into the empty girl he met months ago. He tries to hold your hand but your fingers can’t move, can’t return the embrace. 

When the reverend walks out of the house with his infamous weapon of sacrificial forgiveness, you know what to do. Your body moves on its own, leaving Sunghoon to reach out for you that walks towards the woods. He goes to follow you and the desolate man that stalks behind, but your mother stops him. She’s hysterical as she drags him towards your house saying, “it’s going to be okay.” But she’s crying. 

Once out of their sight, the reverend takes you by the hair. He yanks your head around, pulling you towards that cursed tree. He’s uncharacteristically rough and your scalp screams for a release but you don’t show it. You don’t even look at the man. Not even when he’s tossing your body to the ground. 

“So you’re whoring around with my employees now, huh? Was ruining this farm not enough for you?” His words mean nothing to you. You dust off the dirt and go to stand again, but he kicks you back down. You tsk under your breath as he speaks again, “I’ve seen all the things you’ve done. Seen you leave my barns with red hands and smile. Cut heads off chickens like an anatomy project. Is he next? That church boy?” 

Now you look up to glare at him. Seeing the reverend was aggravating enough, but to say something about Sunghoon was infuriating to you. “I am not a killer. You are! And those animals were already dead.” You spit at his black leather church shoes. 

“Oh, you disgusting little devient,” he laughs lowly, untying the rope from the tree. “Your cruelty shouldn’t bring you joy. Sick and twisted, I should’ve dealt with you sooner regardless of what your drunk bitch mother protested. I can save the boy when you’re gone.” 

“What?” you shuffle backwards from him, angry and confused as he stalks closer to you until you’re backed against the tree. “All those things I did was because of you. Your righteousness made me rotten!” Your hands shake, gripping at the dirt ground for anything to make the fear stop. You glance up to the empty tree branch then the rope in his hands. Where is the lamb? You think briefly before it hits you. “You’re crazy,” you whisper, “I will not be your martyr… not now what I’m finally-”

“Condemn me to Hell for all I care,” he crouches down in front of you, “This is the last time I’ll be a killer.” He throws the rope to your lap and tells you to tether yourself. 

“Why do you hate me?” The words scratch at your throat. When you were younger, you did want the reverend to hate you. It was when he noticed you most, and it’s all you really knew. But now you’re older, and his disdain never made sense. 

You can’t bring yourself to move even if you wanted to. Was this His plan? To allow you one good thing in life before ending it? Was ruining Sunghoon your final sin? 

The rope shakes with your fingers as you stare down at it. The twine of the rope burns over the palm of your hand where Sunghoon carved his promise. Your throat feels dry, tight and suffocating; choking on everything you’ve ever done. And your eyes still puffy from the night before well with tears all over again. 

“I just do,” he thinks of slicing your neck open right there. So fuck tying you down, you were always secretly another lamb anyways. He raises his knife and the metal sits cold under your chin as he lifts your head up to look back at him. 

“Okay…” you swallow. 

Your eyes squeeze shut and so does your mouth, as you raise your head to the sky with an exposed throat. Why isn’t this easy? Unlike the animals, you do know what’s coming. And it’s scary. Scary not because of death, but because you aren’t ready. You haven’t told Sunghoon goodbye or that you love him back. And the thought of him finding something in this world to hate, is such an ugly feeling to die with. 

And then there’s a loud noise. A booming bang, followed by unsteady feet falling back and the ground rumbling with a thud. 

You open your eyes and your father is on his back clutching his abdomen. He coughs and gasps before raising his hand. It’s dripping in deep red. And you can’t help but smile with tears in your eyes as you exhale a jagged breath.

You turn your head and Sunghoon stands there with the shotgun in hand, open mouthed and wide eyed. 

“Sunghoon!” you scramble to your feet and run over to him, taking the gun from his hands as he’s frozen in shock. 

“H-he was going to- he was about to hurt you. I had to-!” he stutters, his eyes already crying and hands shaking, still feeling the weight and recoil of the gun. 

“It’s okay,” you coo softly. “Just- go back to the house and I’ll be right there, okay?” You rush out. Still in shock and dazed, he blindly trusts you and does as you say. 

When he’s no longer close by, you walk over to the reverend with a blank face. You stare down at him as he tries to crawl away, dirty and bleeding. The smile you make doesn’t reach your eyes. 

You point the gun back down at him, and place your foot over the shot wound Sunghoon created. The man gasps and tries to swat at your leg but you only press the gun further into his face, making him surrender. 

“Divine intervention, huh? Say it with me now. I know no punishment, only mercy.” Your voice is quiet, calm, and mocking of his tone. With the barrel to his forehead, you watch him writhe in pain and cough up a little blood. 

“Go to Hell,” he spits his words like venom. 

“If you say it, I’ll let you live. But if you show your face to me or Sunghoon again, I’ll shoot you right between the eyes.” Your foot presses down harder. You can feel that angry little girl inside of you jumping with joy.. Knowing his God demands to be bled for, and making him know the sacrificial suffering, well it feels good to say the least. “Say it. With me. Now.” Each word pronounced with the growing applied pressure to his shot wound. And then he begs for forgiveness. He’s never seen you smile the way you did when he was below you with those words. Empty eyes were never so alive for him either. He cries and chants ‘I know no punishment, only mercy’ over and over. It was like the most beautiful hymn.

　There wasn’t much to be said about that day. Sunghoon and you just pretend you shared a nightmare. Neither of you talked about it. It was just another thing that tied you together. 

Sitting there in the peak of summer’s heat. A day before Sunghoon returns to college classes. Birds chirp. The leaves of the tall trees thistle in the light breezes that pass by. Sunghoon sits criss crossed and while you have your feet hanging off the edge of the dock, kicking in the water. 

“I’m sorry,” you break the silence. Shocked, he looks over to you. He never would have expected you to apologize for anything. “I was selfish when I approached you. I wanted to take all that goodness out of you and keep it for myself. I thought I wanted to hurt you, but after sharing all this time with you, I realized I was wrong. It’s weird to say it out loud,” you laugh small, awkward, “but I really am sorry. I love you more than even I know.” You stare down to your feet in the water that has gone still. A tear falls from your eye, and down to your cheek. 

“I know. I love you too,” he wraps an arm around your waist. “But now the same sins bind us.” You hiccup silently and turn to look up at him. “Harvest all of my purity, farmer’s daughter.” 

For the first time, you really laugh. It’s bright and loud like the big smile he’s seeing for the first time on his favorite face. It’s morning sunlight that whispers through trees to kiss the forest floor. Birds that sing songs of hope to awake life into a new day. Nostalgic, expansive days of childhood where the concept of time doesn’t exist. To him, you look like the epitome of summer; he doesn’t want this season to end. 

You were never the lamb. Or the wolf. Not an animal at all. Nothing like the ones you grew up with. You were just a girl, scared and alone. But not anymore. Because it’s your last day on this farm, and tomorrow is the first with only Sunghoon. 

“Your humor is poetry.” you continue to laugh until tears prick your eyes all over again. You love it. 

“It wasn’t supposed to be funny.” he looks away shyly, blushing. It only makes your giggle more, but you stop to press a kiss to his cheek. He blushes harder. 

“I’ll keep doing it, harvesting all of your purity, for as long as you’re good.” you say with a smile. 

“Do you promise? I am always good, especially with you, so it could be a long while.” He bumps your shoulder playfully with a laugh. 

You take his scarred hand in yours and you laugh like he did, pure and true, “I do.”

© fangel ┊ do not copy, repost, modify or translate my content ໒꒱ tysm for reading, ⌗unlearn shame ⌇ taglist @tinycatharsis @simjaexy @leehsngs @511rkive @beomluvrr @jjongsaengzz @slvtella @jaerisdiction @kkamismom12 @rayofsunshineeee @nshmrarki @m3wkledreamy @hanjisbeloved @filmnings @stercul1a @hooniesfvngs @moriwori @sleepyhoon

[yjw1a1]

── ⋆⋅ 𖤝 I wonder if you look both ways when you cross my mind - Park Sunghoon

𝜗𝜚 see you again (feat. kali uchis) - tyler, the creator

꒰ 𝔖𝘺𝘯𝘰𝘱𝘴𝘪𝘴 ꒱┆slowly making your way into the bad boy’s heart ⨾

۶ৎ cold!park sunghoon x sunshine fem!reader┆fluff, some crack┆hoon is secretly a soft boy, petnames┆smau

⤷ 𝐲𝐞𝐣𝐢’𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬: hi uhhh it’s been a hot sec…but anyway! this fic is inspired by prompts 1 & 2 from this list! ty to my baby @htaesan for helping pick these ^0^

prompts: 1) "You're definitely the only person I would do this for" 2)"How can you be this happy this early in the morning?"

꒰ঌ ℬℴℴ𝓀𝓈𝒽ℯ𝓁𝒻 ໒꒱

𝐧𝐞𝐭𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬: @en-diaries, @k-films, @k-nets

˗ˏˋ ꒰ ✉︎ ꒱ ˎˊ˗ 𝐉𝐢𝐣𝐢’𝐬 𝐓𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭: @vmpivory, @yuvany, @seozii, @pinknjm, @greentulip, @jomisu, @nxzz-skz, @ancnymcnzjy, @hyukabean, @annybah, @ijustwannareadstuff20, @chaeneu, @17ericas, @firstclassjaylee, @riribelle, @right-person-wrong-time, @cheruphic

[yjw1a1]

⟢ like it when i call you daddy? ⸝⸝⸝ yang jungwon

oops! your boyfriend finds out you have a raging daddy kink. but he's more than happy to indulge you

this work contains ⋆ smut ⋆ minors do not interact ⋆ daddy kink duh ⋆ shy reader ⋆ menace jungwon ⋆ fingering ⋆ unprotected sex ⋆ creampie ⋆ slight edging ⋆ praise ⋆ brief cockwarming

length ⋆ drabble ⸻ 3.5k words

✷ NIA — barely proofread pls it's 2 am bear with me. i was supposed to finish this yesterday but then someone tried to break into my apartment. hope your weekend was better than mine!

Uh oh. You know that look.

The look Jungwon gives you only when you're in real deep shit, the one that tells you he's not letting you off the hook or negotiating with you no matter what.

It's almost mean in the way only bright and soft eyes can be, like they're not meant to shape into anything that isn't cutesy. It's like he's scrutinizing your eyes as if they were little windows to your soul, no curtains blocking the light shining in. It's a look you've come to assume means 'danger ahead! Tread carefully.'

Mostly because if there's anything Jungwon hates, it has to be you hiding stuff from him. Whether it's silly things like the paper cut you got at work the day before, or how your tires need to be changed—you can handle that yourself just alright, but Jungwon wants to do it all for you—or the bigger, scarier stuff like doubt poking your chest when you spiral thinking about your future, unsure of what your place in the world is supposed to be, or if you have one at all. He hates it all. He wants you to rely on him, open up both your mind and heart to let him in. It's not a matter of needing him, Jungwon knows you're more than capable of doing it all yourself, you've done just that your entire life.

But that's all the more reason to rely on him if you ask him.

He wants to be your rock, your superhero in spandex like the ones you always make fun of when it's a Friday night and older Marvel movies are all that's playing on TV—he thinks being made fun of is okay as long as you're the one laughing. He wants to be your safe haven. A place where you walk in and feel the heaviness dissolve off your shoulders. He wants to be your home.

You shouldn't have to worry about anything because you've worried yourself sick over other people all your life, he needs to be your break.

Jungwon is your judgment free zone, he knows all your deepest secrets, no matter how embarrassing. He checks for spots you can't quite reach when you think something is off with your body—and he tells you that no, it's not a terminal illness, you'll be fine—no matter how disgusting. He has seen you dazed, hair messy and eyeliner somehow down to your cheeks after a night out. Even washed your face for you when you couldn't and patiently did your skincare because he knew you would complain about your skin feeling dry in the morning otherwise. He has made love to you in every way, in every position, no matter how unflattering. And he still loves you, still thinks you're the most gorgeous being walking on the sun dried tufts of grass that make up Earth. Though if you ask him, the sun is all the way down here and not up in the sky anymore, the one there is just a less impressive copy.

So when you keep things from him, it stings extra.

You lay underneath him, eyes as big as a fawn, staring right up into his scrutinizing gaze. And he's giving you that look, so you might as well start praying up to anyone who will listen.

"Oh? You like that?" Jungwon's hand slides under your shirt, slowly caressing the skin it was just tickling mercilessly moments ago. "Now, that's new. How come you didn't let me in your little secret until now, mhh?"

You don't really have a top 5 worst ways in which your boyfriend could find out you have an embarrassing, raging daddy kink, but if you had one, you imagine 'whimpering after he jokingly says 'be still and good for daddy' while play fighting' would be up there at the top.

"I… uhm. I don't….?" It sounds more like a question than anything else, and the wicked grin overtaking Jungwon's face only makes you want to shrink back into the mattress further.

He looks to the side, shaking his head slightly as his tongue pokes out between his teeth. The corners of his mouth are upturned, but it's not warm or playful like his smile usually is—it doesn't make the sides of his eyes crinkle like you love.

If keeping things from him is a no-go, outright lying might be ten times worse.

So, you bargain. "It's just… you know. Took me by surprise. You don't seem the type of—"

Your sentence is interrupted by a squeal of surprise as he grabs your thigh and drags you down the bed, crawling over you possessively. He reaches for your arm, bringing it to his lips so he can trail his way down with soft kisses, so unlike the energy emanating from him. He kisses your palm sweetly, it makes your head spin like you've been thrown off your balance. "I'm not the type to?"

He's encouraging you to finish your thought, but you have half the idea that by doing that, you'll only dig your grave further, so you choose silence.

"That's what I thought." Jungwon bends down, gaze still boring into your eyes and mouth hovering so close to yours you can feel the words before you can hear them. "I'm the type to do everything for you. I thought you knew by now."

Of course, you do. He makes it pretty clear every waking hour of the day. But the little title that has heat rushing right to your cheeks just thinking about it, is something you never found the courage to be open about, even to Jungwon. As silly as it sounds, the thought of giving someone else so much power, complete control over you feels impossible, even when it's what your deepest and most hidden self craves most.

"I know. It just felt silly and—oh."

"Keep talking. Don't let me stop you." Jungwon noses the skin of your neck, taking in your scent like he might forget it if he doesn't, like it's the last chance he has to do so. Jungwon's love is often like this, given to you in subtle but passionate gestures, ones he bestows onto you as if he might bleed out if he doesn't.

Your insides stir, heavy and hot in your lower stomach and the air almost feels too thick to breathe in, but you push through. Even when Jungwon's hand slides lower and lower until it reaches your shorts—if you can even call them that. "I thought, what if you don't like it. What if it makes me seem weird."

"I like what you like." You visibly shiver when he speaks into your ear, the warmth of his breath ticklish. He gently nibs the shell of your ear.

"But what if—"

"No what ifs, pretty girl. What you want, I give you. What you dream of, I give you." He looks down at you, his elbow bent to support his head. "Your deepest fantasies, I fulfill. Is that clear?"

You nod, looking at him with such sincerity and vulnerability in your eyes he almost coos at the sight.

"Good girl." Jungwon kisses your temple, and you don't know if it's the action itself or the praise, or maybe a little bit of both, but your muscles are more relaxed and your chest feels all fuzzy. The hand playing with the waistband of your shorts finally slides to cup your heat through your panties, his dainty but long fingers molding perfectly to your mound. He nuzzles his head into the crook of your neck, gently smiling into the little nibbles he teases your skin with. They're hardly painful, his teeth not leaving marks behind. Not that they need to, your form quivering underneath his body is already enough. "Let daddy take care of his baby, yeah?"

You cover your face with your hands, embarrassed by the effects his words have on you. It only spurs Jungwon further though, because soon his hand is pulling your completely soaked panties to the side, slowly teasing your folds with his digits. "You're all shy, but she's so happy to see me." He smiles against your cheek, then dips down to litter your neck in open mouthed kisses, happily sighing when you adjust yourself to give him easier access.

"You're so lame," you say from behind your hand still covering your face.

"Oh baby, don't be jealous. You're both my princesses." Jungwon finally dips his fingers lower, teasing your dripping hole slowly with just the tips. He collects the wetness seeping out of you and spreads it all over your pussy, not even trying to dull the obscene sounds his action make. "You're so fucking wet, it's like she's talking back to me," he slurs his words, quiet as to not interrupt the ones coming from below. "And you wanted to deprive me of this?"

He keeps playing with you, relishing in the little sounds both you and your pussy make. His fingers move slowly, deliberately avoiding your clit.

"Jungwon, please," you whine, but the way his lips shape into a grin you can quite literally feel against your neck tells you he wants something from you first. And you have an idea of what it is.

"Wrong name, try again."

Of course.

You're not ready to give in yet though, so you decide to push his buttons for a little longer. "Please?"

The last thing you hear before Jungwon yanks his hand out of your shorts, much to your despair, is a venomous tch that has you seriously reconsider your previous actions. You know him well, so you know if you want to come you're gonna have to abide by his rules. Still, that doesn't stop embarrassment from growing in your stomach more, and more.

His movements are a lot less careful, making quick work of his fitted shirt and sweats, his boxers coming right off with them. Maybe it's the sight of his leaking cock, standing tall and angry against his lower abdomen, or maybe it's just wishful thinking, but despite your mind knowing better, your heart hopes for a few seconds that maybe, just maybe, you have irritated him past the point of punishment.

Jungwon grabs your shorts and panties, sliding them off your legs with a single movement and discards them somewhere on the hardwood floor of your room. It's fast and unceremonious, but the second his warm hand touches your thigh again you understand you got it all wrong. "That's okay. If you're too shy to call me daddy, I'll just have to fuck the shyness out of you."

You mewl when his hands slide up to the back of your knees, pushing them against your chest. The position is a little awkward, but you believe that's exactly what Jungwon is going for. "Here, hold your own legs up like this. Yeah, exactly like that. See? You can be good when you wanna be."

The stretch in your thighs burns, but it's close to nothing when the realization that Jungwon is making you hold onto your legs so you can't hide your face anymore sets in. Sneaky.

Jungwon, on the other hand, admires you with no reservation. Your cunt is completely exposed, like you've handed it to him on a silver platter, and now you have nowhere to hide. He has half a mind to sink down on his knees in front of the bed and eat you out until you're raw and cannot physically come anymore, but he said he would fuck you and he keeps his promises. Besides, he wants to see your face when you finally give in and call him daddy for the first time.

His knees dip into the mattress, the bed creaking with the weight put on it, but your own heartbeat thumps so loud in your ears you miss it. Jungwon takes his sweet time in reaching you, nothing like the urgency in his movements when he undressed you both. He knows you're waiting with bated breath for his next step, it's just another way to punish you for your disobedience. His hands roam your naked body, and he pushes your legs into your chest further, displeased with your loosening grip on them. He gives you a wordless, pointed look, and your hands immediately hold onto the back of your thighs harder.

"Pretty," Jungwon compliments your cunt, glistening and dripping right onto the bed sheets. His gaze is carefully scrutinizing every single part of you, but you know better than to try to shy away. "So, so beautiful. I don't know why you wanna hide from daddy."

"I'm not hiding," you whine in protest. Because, really, you're trying your best not to.

He grabs his length, leaking precum at the thick tip. You want to get a better look at it, so you try to take a peek, your back falling on the mattress again after a mere moment of struggle. That earns an airy, honest giggle from Jungwon, and it has your insides fluttering. It's so easy for him to get a reaction out of you, whatever he does makes you all tingly, whether it's because of fondness or lust. And by the quick look you got at his cock he's not much better off, you can't recall a time you have seen him this red and wet, ready to be inside you from just a little kissing and touching. Which is saying a lot, because Jungwon gets flushed quite easily.

The thought makes you feel a little less embarrassed.

Jungwon taps his cock on your clit a few times, each one sending a jolt of pleasure right through your spine. That tiny amount of stimulation is all he gives to your poor neglected bundle of nerves, and he moves his thick tip downwards, rubbing it repeatedly between your folds. All you can do is throw your head back, teeth poking your bottom lip in an attempt to silence the sounds threatening to spill out of your mouth.

He sighs in delight as your juices coat him, mixing with his precum. His eyebrows are furrowed in concentration, his mouth twisted in a way that makes a dimple pop up on his cheek as he keeps rubbing his cock on your cunt, loving the sight of your nails digging into your thighs to leave tiny half moon indentations. Look at you doing the marking yourself.

"I already take care of you, make sure you're well rested, handle whatever I can to take the load off your shoulders," Jungwon says, never stopping his movements against your heat. "I fuck you so good all the time, take my time with your pretty pussy when I have the chance. Take such good care of you both." He falters for one second, when he accidentally lowers his tip just a smidge too much and ends up rubbing it over your clenching hole. He keeps his cock there, pushing in so slightly you almost miss it, just to take it out and repeat the motions. "I wanna be a part of all your fantasies, would do anything to make you come as hard as I can." He sinks into your heat more this time, just enough to let the stretch of his tip pushing in register for you. "So why won't you be a good girl for daddy and address me by my title? I know you want to."

Jungwon's hips slowly push his cock into you, his mouth open in a silent moan as inch by inch you welcome him into your snug cunt. He's been obsessed with the feeling of that first thrust inside you ever since the first time he slid into you, it's the one thing he always takes his time with, even when he's mad or frustrated and ready to pound into you until you can barely feel your legs anymore.

That's usually what the dangerous look he gave you earlier entails, but this time it's different. His pace doesn't suddenly increase once he fills you to the hilt, reaching so deep inside you, any more would feel like too much. He keeps it slow, but steady, enjoying the way you clench against him, enjoying the view you're giving him with your body bent to accommodate him. He fucks you deep, the position you're in allowing him to reach so deep inside you stars dance across your vision. His pelvis rubs against your clit so deliciously a tiny bit of spit dribbles down your chin from the corner of your mouth. You can feel every inch, every vein, every ridge, and it's mouthwatering.

It's so good, you can feel yourself building up to the peak you want to reach so badly in no time, forgetting why you're in the position you are in the first place.

"Jungwon—" you whine, and he stops his thrusts almost immediately, his deliciously thick length pulling all the way back, his tip the only thing left in you. The loss is unbearable, and you wiggle your hips as if to coax more of his cock back into you again, all to no avail.

"No, no, no baby, who am I?"

You feel like crying, and a single tear does slip out of your eye, gravity making it fall somewhere on the bed. Jungwon doesn't care though, not when you refuse to give him what he wants to hear.

He moves his hips teasingly, as if to bait you to give in, he fucks you gently with just the tip, over and over again, careful to not give you too much. "C'mon baby, I know you can do it."

You clench around his tip, silently begging for more. More that will never come if you don't give in, and you know it. It's on the tip of your tongue, and you want to give in so badly.

So you do. "Please, daddy."

Your voice is low, barely above a whisper, but Jungwon hears you loud and clear, and it's enough for him.

His hips plunge against yours, and you gasp when you feel his thick cum fill you up so unexpectedly. He barely moves, coaxing spur after spur of seed as he empties himself inside of you. Your walls flutter against his sensitive cock, and your hips twitch when he suddenly moves his thumb over your puffy clit, rubbing rough circles on it while he keeps fucking his own cum inside you.

"Good girl, milking me dry like this, yeah baby, keep doing that." His voice is rough and thick, sending pleasure right to your belly. You feel so full, so warm, as his movements never falter, even when his cock is raw from overstimulation.

"Daddy, 'am close."

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, baby. Coming again, need you to come too." Even more cum fills you up at the name, and when Jungwon buries himself all the way in, thumb still circling your clit, and presses down with his other hand right on the bulge on your tummy, searing white blindness hits you for a moment as you come undone around him. His moans sound beautiful as you rhythmically clench around his thickness in your ecstasy, his thumb still working you through your orgasm.

It keeps going for longer than it ever has, your toes bent as if it's the only thing keeping you grounded while waves of pleasure keep crashing through you.

Jungwon slows down, but never pulls out of you completely, keeping his cum plugged inside of you. You're not holding onto your legs anymore, and his body gives in on top of you with one last teasing thrust, crushing you a little with his weight.

"Hey," you protest, still in the process of catching your breath.

"Mhh." He nuzzles his forehead against yours, uncaring for the sweat sticking you together. "That was good."

You giggle, a light feeling washing over you, spreading from your chest to your limbs in soothing waves. "Yeah, I think you liked me calling you daddy a little too much."

You feel lightheaded, in a good way. And in Jungwon's arms, you know you're as safe as you could ever be. It fills your heart with longing, even if he's right there with you.

Jungwon wraps his arms around you, spinning you both around on the messy bed sheets, quickly switching up your positions so you're on top of him, your head resting right on his chest.

His heartbeat, slowly going back to being steady, gently lulls you to sleep, even when the sun outside shines in through your window and casts the shadows of the windowsill plants over the tangled mess your and Jungwon's legs make up. He kisses your forehead once, then again, slowly aligning his softening cock to slide back into you. "Maybe. You should've done that sooner."

[yjw1a1]

From the Bottom of the Cup | psh

café for7you followers eventt

Order for anon ⋆˚✿˖°

One Trope Latte: Secret admirer leaves notes under their cup every morning. Coming right up!!

Brewed with shy smiles over the counter, folded in with foamed confessions and hidden ink. This cup is warm with anticipation, stirred gently with soft glances and a quiet hope that maybe—just maybe—you knew all along.

The first time you noticed it, you nearly threw it away.

You were halfway to the trash with your finished vanilla oat milk latte — extra foam, light cinnamon, your daily 8:03 AM ritual — when a faint scribble on the bottom of the cup caught your eye.

You tilted it.

“Hope today is kinder to you.”

It wasn’t a printed quote. It was handwritten — messy but sweet, like it had been rushed but meant.

You turned your head toward the counter.

Sunghoon stood there, cleaning the steamer wand, sleeves rolled up and hair tucked under a beanie. He didn’t look your way, but something in the curve of his smile made your heart skip.

You didn’t say anything.

But you didn’t throw away the cup either.

And the next day, you checked the bottom of your cup before you even took a sip.

“Your eyes looked heavy today. I hope your heart isn’t.”

“Red looks good on you. Not just the scarf.”

“Caught you smiling at your phone again. Lucky person.”

Every message felt like a secret whispered across the room. Always on the bottom. Always from him. You knew it—though he never said anything.

Then one rainy morning, you showed up earlier than usual.

The shop was quiet, only a few early birds tucked into corners. You waited near the espresso machine, pretending to scroll your phone while watching

Sunghoon prep your order.

He held the cup in one hand and a marker in the other. His brows furrowed in focus, lower lip slightly tucked between his teeth.

He scribbled something fast on the bottom, set the cup down like it was nothing, and reached for the milk jug.

He hadn’t seen you watching.

So you pretended — like always — to know nothing.

“Vanilla oat milk, extra foam, light cinnamon,” he said when you stepped up.

“Perfect,” you replied, smiling as you took the cup. You didn’t look underneath. Not yet.

But this time, the message read:

“It’s okay if you know. I just hope you keep coming back.”

You grinned.

The next morning, you got there a minute earlier. Just enough to catch him mid-scribble again.

This time, he noticed.

Eyes wide. Marker still in hand.

You tilted your head and leaned on the counter with a slow, knowing smile. “So… what are you writing under the cup today?”

Sunghoon looked like he short-circuited for a second.

“I—uh—wha—?” he stammered, then immediately cleared his throat. “Nothing. Definitely not love notes. Who does that?”

You raised a brow. “Love notes?”

“I mean—uh—motivational messages,” he corrected, blushing hard now. “For customers. In general. Not a specific one. Obviously.”

You gave him a look. “Sunghoon.”

He hid behind the espresso machine for a beat. “Okay, maybe for one specific customer. Just a little.”

You leaned closer across the counter. “Just a little?”

He peeked up through his lashes, face still burning. “Depends. Did it work?”

“Did what work?”

“Getting your attention.” His lips twitched into a shy grin. “Because if I knew all it took was scribbling under a cup, I would’ve started on day one.”

You let out a quiet laugh, cheeks warm. “I knew it was you from the first one.”

Sunghoon blinked. “Wait—seriously?”

You nodded. “Almost threw it away, but I saw the handwriting. And… I kept every one.”

His eyes widened, and he looked like his brain was buffering again. “Wait. You did?”

You tapped the cup he’d just handed you. “Guess you better make today’s extra good.”

He leaned forward, trying to sound cool despite how red his ears were. “What if I just give you my number instead?”

You blinked. “Finally.”

He looked stunned. “Wait, finally?”

You laughed, backing away with your drink. “See you tomorrow, lover boy.”

The next day, scribbled beneath the cup in familiar, flustered handwriting:

“From the barista with a hopeless crush… who finally got the girl.”

The café was already closed, chairs flipped onto tables, lights dimmed except for the soft golden glow behind the counter. Outside, the city hummed gently — quieter, like it knew something soft and important was happening here.

Sunghoon wiped his hands on a towel, trying not to look as jittery as he felt. “Thanks for waiting,” he said, sliding into the booth across from you. “Sorry I took so long, I had to close up and—”

“You don’t have to be nervous, you know,” you said, chin in your hand, smiling in that way that always made his brain go fuzzy.

“I’m not nervous,” he replied instantly. Then paused. “Okay, I’m like… 43% nervous.”

“Only 43?” You reached into your bag and pulled out a small, beat-up journal. “Want to see something?”

“Uh… sure?”

You opened the journal slowly — and there they were.

Pictures. Photos. Glued-down coffee cup bottoms, carefully cut and pressed flat. His handwriting on every single one. Page after page.

“I kept all of them,” you said softly, flipping through them with your fingertips. “After that first message, I started saving them. I didn’t know why at first. I just… didn’t want to throw them away.”

Sunghoon stared in awe, mouth slightly open. “That’s… you really—? Wait, that one—” He leaned in, pointing at a smudged message. “‘You looked tired but still managed to smile’—I remember writing that. You were in a blue hoodie. You looked… I don’t know. Soft.”

Your smile was warm, a little shy. “I liked that one. A lot.”

He exhaled slowly, resting his chin in his hand to mirror you. “You’re kind of ruining all my future flirting plans. I peaked with the cups.”

“You didn’t peak,” you said, laughing gently. “You set the bar.”

He looked at you then — really looked — and the smile that spread across his face was slow, fond, and just a little dreamy.

“Would it be too much,” he asked quietly, “if I kissed you now?”

You leaned forward with a teasing glint in your eyes. “Only if you promise to still write under my cups.”

He grinned. “Deal.”

And when he kissed you — shy at first, but sweet and sure — the world outside the coffee shop seemed to blur.

But somewhere in the back of your mind, you were already thinking about what tomorrow’s cup might say.

Want to place an order? See here what Café for7you has to offer for you! ₊˚⊹♡

©️tobiosbbyghorl - all rights reserved

permanent taglist: @ijustwannareadstuff20 @hoonielvv @rjssierjrie @rikifever @firstclassjaylee @morganaawriterr

[yjw1a1]

heeseung x f!reader - reaction to your tramp stamp

ENHA HARD HOURS 18+

AN: yall tmi but literally rubbed one out while writing this, this is my ovulation demon.

cw: backshot, Tramp Stamp, degradation, spit, self-spanking, pussy slapping, tongue out, slut behavior

-

Heeseung told himself it wouldn’t happen.

He told himself that no matter how many times you teased him, bent over in front of him, climbed into his lap all innocent with those fucking shorts, he’d hold it together.

And he almost did.

Until tonight.

Until you bent over to pick something up and your waistband dipped just low enough for him to see it.

A tramp stamp.

Right there. Black ink. Slutty. Shining in the light.

A fucking bullseye.

He’s on you in seconds. Grabbing you by the waist, dragging you toward the bed, voice shaking like he’s gone completely feral.

“On your knees. Face down. Don’t speak.”

You’re already panting. Already dripping. You scramble onto the bed with no hesitation, arching your back, wiggling your ass in the air for him—showing off.

He rips your shorts down. Your panties go with them. You gasp when the air hits your soaked pussy.

Heeseung groans behind you—like an animal.

“Fuck… fuck… this is what you’ve been hiding?”

His hands grab your ass, squeeze it hard, spread you open—and there it is.

That little tramp stamp inked right above your ass crack, shining with sweat.

“A fucking target. Right above this filthy little hole. God—you did this for me.”

You moan, rocking back against his hands. “I’ve been waiting for you to find it…”

“You’ve been teasing me with this? Walking around like a bitch in heat, waiting for me to snap?”

“Yes—please, baby, please—”

You’re drooling. Actually drooling. Tongue out, back arched, knees spread.

“Look at you,” he laughs darkly. “You’re panting like a fucking dog.”

You moan louder. Stick your tongue out even further. Beg.

“Please, Hee. Fuck me. Use me. Fill me up, I’m so fucking empty—look at my pussy, look how wet I am for you—”

He spits on your tattoo. Hard.

Lets it drip down your spine. Rubs it in with his thumb.

“You want to be my little cumrag, huh? Wanna get your dirty ink covered in my load?”

“Yes—yes yes yes—I’ll take it, I’ll take all of it—”

“Then say it. Say what you are.”

“I’m your tramp-stamped fucktoy,” you whimper, tears in your eyes. “Your little bitch. Please, baby, I’ll spread it, I’ll show you—look—”

You reach back, spread your ass with both hands, your pussy dripping down your thighs. You tilt your hips so he sees everything.

“Slap it,” he growls. “Slap that pretty ass. Show me how filthy you are.”

You moan, and smack it.

Again. Again. Until your skin stings, until your arms are shaking.

“Please, Heeseung—look at me—look at how ready I am—I’m your slut, your toy, your cocksleeve—fuck me already, please, I’m begging you—”

He finally gives in.

One thrust. All the way in.

Your scream tears through the room.

Heeseung doesn’t pause. Doesn’t ask. He just grabs your hips and fucks.

Fast. Deep. Brutal. The kind of fucking that slaps your skin raw, that rocks the bed, that makes your mouth fall open with no sound.

“So fucking tight,” he grunts, hips snapping into you like he’s punishing you. “This pussy’s never been used, huh? You’ve been saving it. Saving it for this.”

“Yes!” you scream. “Only for you—just for you, Hee—”

“Say it again. Say it while I’m ruining you.”

“I’m your filthy little bitch with a cum target on my back—fuck—fuck me harder, make me cry—”

He slaps your ass so hard you jolt forward, then grabs your wrists and pulls you back, fucking you like a goddamn ragdoll. Your tits bounce. Your eyes roll back. You feel your orgasm build fast, dangerous, sharp.

He sees it. He feels it.

“You gonna come for me, baby? Gonna squirt all over my cock like a desperate little mutt?”

“Yes—oh my god yes please, please please—”

“Then do it. Fucking do it.”

You explode.

Clenching, gushing, screaming into the mattress as your body shatters under him.

You’re still spasming when he pulls out, strokes his cock hard, fast, filthy.

“Gonna paint that fucking tattoo. Don’t move.”

You’re panting, tongue still out, ass high in the air—presenting yourself.

And then you feel it.

Hot ropes of cum shoot across your lower back, splatter onto your tramp stamp, drip down your ass in thick, messy lines.

“Fuck yes,” he moans, watching it drip. “Look at that. My mark on your mark. You were made for this.”

You collapse. Utterly destroyed. Legs twitching. Back soaked.

But then his voice—low, breathless, cruel:

“Don’t think I’m done. I’m gonna fuck it into you next.”

[yjw1a1]

A REUNION TO REMEMBER

PAIRING: sunghoon x fem!reader

GENRE/CW: smut, unprotected sex, fingering, cunnilingus, public sex, car sex, shower sex, squirting, lots of kissing, slight jealousy, slight degradation (slut) and praising, mentions of drinking, mentions of jay and karina (aespa), and other idols, mentions of nicknames (baby, princess, kitten), more to be added.

WORD COUNT: 15.3k words.

SYNOPSIS: You last met Park Sunghoon when you were attending high school, more precisely, when he had gained enough courage to ask you out, not knowing that the most popular girl of the school was already taken by the senior who was equally as popular. Four years later, your batch decided to hold a reunion back in your town, where you meet Sunghoon again. Only, the problem is that he's hotter than ever and you can't, for the life of you, keep your eyes off him.

PLAYLIST: here!

WARNING: 18+ content, minors dni.

A/N: hihi, angels! i’m done revamping the hoon fic, i hope y’all enjoy reading it <33 all likes, comments, reblogs are highly appreciated! it keeps me motivated! iloveyou all and happy reading <33

“There’s absolutely no fucking way he didn’t know!” 

You exclaimed, frustration clear on your face, recalling how things went down back in tenth grade to prove your point. 

Karina only sighed on the other end of the call, “listen, babe, I love you but you have to take into account how oblivious the poor boy was back then! He studied and skated, that’s literally all he did, that was him,” she spoke, emphasizing on the but part.

You huffed, sitting down on the edge of your bed, nodding to yourself slowly as you let it sink that her point was actually a valid one for once. 

“It’s still awkward though,” you mumbled, playing with a loose thread of your sweater. 

“It’ll be fine, okay? It’s been four years, and it’s not like you have to talk to him.” Her words were true yet again, and this is why you loved her. 

Karina had been your best friend since you were in middle school, she’d always been honest and the social butterfly everyone loved, but at the same time, she was humble and kind, always taking care of the ones around her, not to mention how she was possibly the prettiest girl you’d ever met. 

You were relieved to know that she would be with you for the school reunion—an event which was planned thoroughly, it was a big deal. 

It wasn’t just a meet up, it was a three day trip back to your hometown, the whole itinerary was planned, as per the usual ritual:

The first day being the reunion dinner night—the most important one out of the three days, a day where everyone shows up clad in their best outfits, a day where they flaunt every bit of success and achievements they’ve accomplished. 

The second being the beach day, to make sure no one is left out on the fun factor, also 

The last being the night out at the newest club of your city, a night to let loose, especially when it concerns rekindling the old flames (happens more often than not).

The idea itself was thrilling, not to mention how desperately you needed this break, Karina was even quicker to express her excitement by booking two hotel rooms, non refundable at that, for you both as your parents now lived in Seoul, and not in your hometown. 

Another sigh left your mouth as you plopped down on your bed, staring at the ceiling while wondering why you even bothered to check the guest list, to check whether Park Sunghoon was invited or not. 

It was no surprise when you saw his name in the list, gulping as you recalled the embarrassing incident which took place between you both, the one in which you never got the opportunity to confront him, or explain yourself by any means. 

You closed your eyes, revisiting the ever so embarrassing memory. 

It was the last day of the tenth grade, your exams had just gotten over and the student crowd was elated, throwing notes everywhere to celebrate the fact that they were not chained to their textbooks anymore, not for a month at least; which caused you to scrunch your nose at the sight of paper wastage, not to mention, the meaningless litter all over. 

“Uh—Hey,” a sweet voice called your name at the exact second, succeeding in grabbing your attention. 

You recognized him as your classmate, Sunghoon, who was also a good friend of your own friend, Jay. 

“Hey! Hoon, right?” You smiled at him, a slight red colour spread on his cheeks at the sight of you. 

He nodded, also politely saying ‘hello’ to Karina, who was right next to you before his gaze fell to his fingers as he fiddled with them, his fang-like teeth biting down on his plush bottom lip with anxiety as he worked on mustering enough courage to look into your eyes, only to find your own ones staring at him with curiosity. 

“I just—I wanted to ask if you’d like to, you know, go out with me sometime?” He let out the question, unsure of what words he had used and cringing at how shaky his tone was. 

He had completely forgotten what he practiced in front of the mirror a thousand times, but he knows for sure that the result was not supposed to come out as horrendous as this one. 

Your eyes widened as you looked at Karina with pleading eyes, asking for help. It was no secret that you were one of the popular girls at your school; sweet, hardworking, and humble. 

Getting a confession such as this one was nothing new to you, declining politely always worked, however, that was when you were single and not in a relationship with the most popular guy in the school (as cliché as it was), who was also your senior. It was almost like a fanfiction with how the ace of the school, Lee Heeseung, had ended up falling for you. 

The news was quick to spread, fast enough for your group chat to go crazy, asking you questions so diabolical which almost made you throw your phone away with embarrassment. 

In the span of three days, the whole school was aware of the new ‘it couple’. Except for Sunghoon, that is.

“As, uh, friends?” You winced at how pathetic your question was, which certainly made things ten times more awkward than they were supposed to be.  

“N—no, as something more?” Sunghoon helpfully explained, looking everywhere but at your face now. 

“Sunghoon,” Karina spoke up, causing  you to release your breath, thankful that she was here to control the situation when you could say nothing and feel uncomfortable looking at his disappointed face.

“She’s taken, love! Sorry,” she informed him, his eyes widening and mouth agape. 

You wondered if he was genuinely clueless about this, he did look lost to you. 

You gasped, suddenly feeling an arm wrap around your waist, pulling you closer as you stared at Heeseung in surprise, who was already looking down at you with a smirk. 

“Hey, baby. I missed you,” he spoke up, kissing you right on the mouth, more exaggerated than usual. 

Sunghoon witnessed the whole scene, a frown settling on his face, embarrassment clear on his face which was now red and showed clear signs of sadness as he softly said, “e—excuse me,” leaving as soon the words left his mouth, shoulders slumped. 

You never met him again, only seeing him with Jay at times. 

He was quick to change his school soon after it, knowing that he’d be able to do so easily since the finals were over. 

You were going to meet him now. 

Your eyes snapped open at the thought of that, you just wished for the trip to be a pleasant one. Furthermore, from your side, you’d make sure to not be awkward around him, pretending as if the whole situation didn’t happen in the first place.

 If you’d even get to talk to him, that is. 

“Wow, you really are dumb,” Jake laughed uncontrollably once Jay finished telling him the story of none other than Park Sunghoon. 

“Shut up,” Hoon mumbled, annoyed that the topic which he had wanted so desperately to be buried in the corner of his heart forever was brought up, once again. 

“Wait, but if you knew about them dating then why didn’t you tell Hoon?” Jake pointed the question towards Jay. 

“Because he never told me he was going to confess in the first place!” Jay’s eyes widened almost comically as he exclaimed, “and it was exam time, finals at that, Sunghoon had sworn he wouldn’t use his phone till the exams ended, and you probably don’t have any clue as to how big of a nerd he was—” 

“Jay! Fucking stop this,” Hoon whined, covering his face with his palm as Jay took out his phone, scrolling to find a picture of Sunghoon. 

He looked a lot smaller than he is now, wearing a yellow, collared t-shirt and round specs, lips curved into a small smile as he looked into the camera. 

“Holy fuck! You could have been easily casted for the live action of Doraemon, as Nobita, of course.” Jake high-fived Jay after taking a look at the picture, the latter almost falling down with the laugh he had let out, the similarities were uncanny. 

“The fuck—Nobita? Oh god this is so fucking annoying, can you guys shut up now? I don’t even want to go and face her ever again,” he snapped, whining like a kid right after. 

He had been overthinking about everything that could happen once you meet him again, his brain running at the speed of light with the unless possibilities. 

Would you laugh in his face and remind him of how stupid he looked asking someone like you out?

Heck, would you even remember him? 

You honestly didn’t have any reason to.

Acting nonchalant didn’t help his case one bit, his self awareness higher than ever, especially when it concerned you. 

It mattered to him a lot more than he’d like to admit, your opinion mattered more than he’d like to admit, even after all this while. 

A four year gap should have been enough to let his embarrassment fade away, however, all his efforts went to vain once he got invited to the reunion.

“Listen, it’ll be okay. She probably doesn’t even remember you!” Jay tried to make him feel better. 

“That’s very consoling, that totally calms me down, thank you very much,” Hoon rolled his eyes, wondering if you’d forgotten him already. It wasn’t as if you both had been close, but you did see each around and during the classes. 

He can’t lie, the thought made him sad. 

“You definitely have a chance now though, if that makes you feel any better,” Jake let out slowly, noticing the glow up Sunghoon had after comparing him with his old picture. 

“Shut up, It doesn’t matter, I don’t even like her anymore,” he mumbled, a light blush creeping up his neck as he did so. 

Jake and Jay exchanged a knowing look, putting on a smile as they dragged Sunghoon for shopping while Jay went on talking about what all they should be packing for the three day trip, bringing a genuine smile to Hoon’s face as he looked at his goofy best friends. 

Maybe the trip wouldn’t be so bad, he thought. 

“Ay babe! You look hot,” Karina winked at you, eyeing you up and down while you glided your lipstick along the expanse of your lips, smacking them together a few times to spread it evenly. 

You winked back, “you look hotter.” She laughed just as you said that, engulfing you in a hug. 

“Ready to leave?” She asked, getting her luggage out as you followed with a nod, smiling while you got into the cab, Karina being quick to snap a few selfies to mark the start of your trip. 

The entire time on your way to your destination, you felt giddy, wondering how everyone looked now, how their life must have changed, did they even remember you, would they even recognize you? 

It had been a while since you had last met them and you secretly hoped that you’d get a chance to get laid—your frustrated mind needed this, the studies kept you busy and you hadn’t got time to tend to your personal needs. 

Your mind was full of scenarios as you imagined how your stay would go, what all activities you’d do and so on, falling asleep on the plane while envisioning the same. 

“Wake up, sleepy head,” Karina shook your arm slightly, waking you up from your dreamland. 

It took you a second to realize that the plane was going to land, followed by the announcement of the same and you were still sleepy when you put on your belt, eyes barely open as you wiped your lips with the back of your hand. 

The journey was short, and you were checked into your hotel room in no time. As soon as you jumped on the bed, Karina came into your room holding a bunch of skincare products and sheet masks. 

“Get up! We need that glow for tonight,” she demanded, plopping on the bed with you as she ushered you to go and wash your face while you mumbled complaints with the need to sleep more. 

Skincare was therapeutic for you, however, it also made you sleepy, even more so when the hotel beds were the absolute definition of comfort and pleasure, helping you slip into dreamland in no time. 

Your skin felt radiant, so lovingly soft by the time you woke up, also checking the time so see that you had to start getting ready for the reunion dinner at once for you to reach there in time. 

“No! You’re not wearing that,” Karina pointed at your trouser outfit, a pathetic scowl on her face, looking at the clothes in disapproval. 

“Why not?” You asked, looking at it with genuine confusion. It did seem like a decent outfit to you. 

“Because we have to show everyone that you’re still the it girl you were four years back, now hotter than ever,” she mumbled, looking into your luggage as you let her take the matter into her hands, your focus now on styling your hair. 

“This!” She exclaimed, getting a dress out which made your eyes sparkle. It was a new dress which you hadn’t gotten a chance to wear before, and she was right, it’s the perfect opportunity for you all to dress up a little. 

“Huh? I don’t remember keeping this in my bag,” you looked at her. 

“Well obviously, I did,” she flipped her hair, proud of herself. 

That was it, the music was blasting, the room was a mess with the makeup sprawled all around, also little articles of clothing as you both dolled yourself up. 

“Ready?” She smiled. She looked stunning  in that black dress of hers, her freshly coloured hair only added to her beauty. 

“Ready,” you confirmed. 

“Y/n!” You heard your name, and suddenly you felt warm hands around your body, pulling you into a friendly hug. 

Sweet voice and strawberry scent was enough for you to know it was Isa. A big smile spread on your face as you hugged her tighter, looking around to see all of your classmates hugging and talking to each other. 

“You look so pretty!” You were in awe, seeing her gummy smile and the pink dress she sported, she was no less than a princess. 

“Girl look at you? You’re glowing! You literally grow prettier each day,” she giggled, making your heart melt. She had always been kind and bubbly, another one of the reasons why you were so close to her. 

You looked around the restaurant, it was new and the interior was modern, booked for the night for your batchmates. Meeting everyone was like a breath of fresh air. 

You didn’t even manage to say hello to everyone before they announced the start of the dinner, asking everyone to take seats, however, one of your old friends Jay was quick to reach to you, his smile as sharp as you remembered it to be. 

“As stunning as ever,” he complimented you, hugging your side. 

He stood tall in front of you, sporting a scent that gave you the essence of richness which only complemented his black suit, worn with a white button up inside, a gold chain dangling down his slender neck, resting well on his clavicle. 

You can’t deny, he looked handsome. 

“Thank you,” you said softly, “you look chic as always too.”

A sly smile graced his face, “do I now?” He chuckled, “come on, let’s go and sit,” he said. 

You nodded, following him as you noticed that almost everyone had taken seats, Karina waving at you, pointing at the seat she saved, which you gladly took, fixing your dress while you did so as you started rambling about everyone you met till now. 

What you had failed to notice, however, was the person sitting right next to you—someone who had visibly stiffened with your sudden appearance. He didn’t move an inch, not until you finally turned your head to look his way. 

Your breath hitched, and you prayed that it wasn’t visible how your eyes widened by just a fraction, your mouth stayed agape, and your body frozen, all at the mere sight of Park Sunghoon. 

Glow up would be an understatement, he looked like a completely different person without his specs and baby fat resting on his cheek. 

His eyes were the perfect shade of chestnut brown colour, it was the first time you had looked into them so clearly, face sculpted with a sharp jawline and pointed nose, lips naturally shaded into a glossy reddish hue, his fangs peeking out by a midge, and hair parted to the side, styled accordingly to match his black button up. 

“Hey,” a deep voice snapped you out of your observation session and you realized that it was him. 

“Sunghoon, hey. It’s been a while,” you smiled at him softly, hoping that he didn’t notice you staring at him just a second back, mentally slapping yourself for reacting that way. 

Meanwhile the boy was surprised to learn that you indeed did remember him, his heart beating a little faster now that he was in such a close proximity with you. 

It was something he had ran through his mind a few times—the possibility of you both running into each other, the possibility that you’d care to remember him, the possibility that you would talk to him, however, now that it was actually happening, he couldn’t help but admire your beauty, absolutely no coherent thought graced his mind. 

“You look so beautiful,” he whispered mindlessly, mouth opening again as he realized what he had said out loud, “uh—how have you been?” He quickly asked, mentally slapping himself for being such a mess. 

That only made you smile further, a glint in your eyes as you replied, “thank you, Hoon. You look really handsome too.” You let out almost in a whispered breath, and you did mean it. 

Your words made him smile, which displayed his fangs. Everything about him intrigued you all of a sudden, his presence affecting you in a way you didn’t think it would, your curiosity higher than ever. 

Before you could talk more, the servers came out, bringing the starters as everyone chatted excitedly at your table, Karina pulling you to her side rather abruptly as you yelped while she whispered in your ear. 

“Is that him? Fucking hell, Y/n, you couldn’t say yes then but it’s not too late—just four years, do it now!” She rushed to speak into your ear, making sure no one else heard it but you. 

“Karina shut up, I just met him,” you whispered urgently with wide eyes to warn her.

“So? You have three whole days to be with him! And to be honest, he looks like he knows how to give a girl a real good fuck—” you covered her mouth, not letting her finish the sentence. 

“Oh lord! I’m not going to do that!” You exclaimed, taking a bite of your soup, mood uplifting at the scrumptious taste. 

“But why?” She was almost going to whine before Sunghoon called out your name, saving you from this conversation. 

The sound of him pronouncing your name was rather attractive, especially the way he enunciated it so perfectly, your face heating up with the sudden conversation. 

“Yes?” You asked too quickly. 

He chuckled softly and you swore your name had never sounded any better. 

Maybe you were too into studying all this while that even the littlest things made you jumpy. 

Or maybe it was the hottest looking man sitting right next to you. 

“Could you pass me that napkin, please?” He asked politely. 

You were quick to grab one for him as you nodded, not trusting your voice any further, his slender fingers brushed against yours as he took the napkin from you, saying thank you softly, the slight touch of his cold hands made you shiver. 

You needed a distraction before you’d make fun of yourself, and soon, you found one.

Yeonjun, who sat right in front of you, was successful in distracting you, asking about your life in Seoul and about what you’ve been studying.

He was also a student like you, although he liked to work as a model in his free time, “it pays well and you get free clothes too!” He explained with a goofy smile. 

You felt content, loving how friendly the atmosphere was as if you guys never lost touch in the first place, everyone drinking champagne to celebrate with a cheer that you join in too, maybe this is why people hype up reunions. 

Sunghoon was attentive to everything you had said till now, not wanting to eavesdrop yet way too curious to learn more about you, trying his best not to stare at you every few minutes. Your smile made his lips curve into one as well, unconsciously at that. 

The dinner concluded soon, everyone getting up and gathering for a round of group pictures. 

Sunghoon’s hand brushed against yours in the process, succeeding in giving you goosebumps again, which he didn’t fail to observe this time. 

“Are you cold?” He asked, noticing your goosebumps. 

You didn’t have any better explanation, and you couldn’t possibly tell him that he was one responsible for it. 

“Oh—yeah, a bit,” you answered, looking at the height difference between you both, his body looked buff underneath his shirt, his veins visible now that he had rolled his sleeves up. 

“Here,” he offered his blazer to you, gently wrapping it around your frame as you could feel yourself being overdosed with his scent—it was attractive, engulfing you as a whole. 

“I—thank you.” Your cheeks felt hot as you looked away, trying to control your breathing. 

Sunghoon was clearly pleased to see you in his clothes, he had seen you after a solid four years and yet, his opinion about you didn’t change in the slightest, you looked perfect to him. 

You both reached the group, you trying to tiptoe more as to ensure your visibility in the picture. It was hard to fit such a big group into a frame, especially when people simply couldn’t stand straight out of pure excitement, posing with silly expressions. 

“Y/n! Come here,” Karina called your name, pulling you close for another set of pictures with everyone. 

“Listen guys! Tomorrow we’ll meet at the beach by twelve, make sure you reach there on time!” Hyunjin announced. 

You loved beaches, the sunlight made the water shine like it hid the prettiest set of diamonds in there, the smell of land and water meeting was soothing to your senses, a place so calming, you could spend hours there just staring at the beauty of nature, just to see the sky switching it’s colours from hues of blue to deepest of the orange to the darkest shade of black. 

It all made beaches beautiful and you were excited about tomorrow already. 

As you made your way out of the restaurant, you noticed two other people waiting for you along with your best friend, Jay and Sunghoon. 

“You’re here! We’re taking a cab together to our hotel, apparently they’re staying over at the same place as ours,” she explained, “they probably have their rooms in front of ours too!” She joked. 

Sunghoon looked at you in his blazer, deciding that he won’t even ask you to give it back to him, it suited you too much. 

His clothes suited you way too much. 

He wanted to spend more time with you, he wanted to sit next to you in the cab and he made sure to sit in between you and Jay, his side pressed against yours. 

“Are you comfortable?” He asked softly. 

“Oh, yeah. Are you?” 

He nodded, loving the arrangement so far. Living in the same hotel meant that he’d get to see more of you while Jay sniggered, causing Sunghoon to elbow him as he let out an ‘ouch’. Opening his mouth to ask you questions now. 

“So, Y/n, how’s it going with uni? Do you have a boyfriend or someone special in your life?” Jay asked, knowing that his friend was dying to know the same. 

“It’s honestly so hectic but somehow still manageable, I like what I’m doing and I won’t be leaving without that degree so, yes I feel like the hard work would pay in the end,” you explained confidently, “and no, I sadly do not have a boyfriend. It’s honestly hard to go on dates when you barely have time for yourself.”

Sadly you had said yet Sunghoon couldn’t have been happier with your answer. 

You’d always been hard working and Sunghoon admires that about you, his focus was solely on you ever since you stepped inside the restaurant and talked to him. It wasn’t easy for Sunghoon to fall for someone, but once he saw you again, it was as if his feelings for you had never left. 

Just then, the car swiftly came to a stop, jerking forward slightly as Sunghoon quickly put his arm around your waist, pulling your body into him, securing it. 

Some car had successfully jumped the red light, almost causing an accident, but thankfully you guys were all safe and without any scratch as the driver was quick to use the brakes, before driving again, making sure everything goes smoothly now. 

“You okay?” He asked, whispering as he cupped your cheeks. 

You nodded, unconsciously shifting closer to him and he didn’t make any efforts to move his hand away, letting it rest on your waist while your head rested against his shoulder. You were hyper aware of the proximity but the scare was enough for you to not pay attention to it. 

It felt comfortable, his scent, his touch, but more than that, it felt genuine, which is why you closed your eyes, sleeping on his shoulder while his breathing hitched, looking at your sleeping figure. 

So pretty, he thought, brushing a few strands of your hair away from your face, tucking them behind your ear, letting his fingers linger there for a while. It felt like a dream to Sunghoon, and he wished that he could get more of this — more of you. 

The comfort and your warmth seemingly got to him as well, his head resting on yours as he drifted off to dreamland with a slight smile ghosting on his lips. 

“Cute! So fucking cute what the fuck?” 

“They look like a couple, woah.” 

A series of flashes was quick to disturb your sleep, eyelids slowly opening to see two phones being shoved into your face, clicking pictures of you, the chatter coming from the very same pair of people. 

Just then, you realized that the picture in question was not just of you, but of the guy who so gladly let you sleep on his shoulder. 

Your eyes widened when he blinked open his eyes too, Karina and Jay laughing at his reaction when he saw you staring at him, face inches away from yours. 

His eyes widened comically before he diverted his attention to Jay, slapping his hand away who was busy shooting all of this on his phone, even the cab driver watched it with a fond smile on his face. 

“You guys are adorable,” Karina squealed when you got out of the cab, rushing to get back to your room, cheeks heated and heart racing. 

Were you embarrassed? Yes. But not even a single cell in your body can deny that it felt good—being close to someone. 

“Can you stop pairing us as if we’re school kids?” You deadpanned, rolling your eyes at her excitement. 

“Absolutely not, it’s fun.” She shrugged, joining you in the lift, “oh, and by the way, nice blazer you’ve got on,” she smiled, continuing to tease you. 

Right, you had to return the blazer to Hoon. 

Turns out, Karina was borderline prophetic and both of them were indeed on the same floor as you, your room right in front of Sunghoon’s room as if universe was hinting at something. 

“Good night guys,” she sang, leaving for her room, a smirk on her face as she subtly pointed at Sunghoon’s room. 

Jay followed suit, leaving for his own room, not forgetting to send a wink your way, which the other boy noticed with a frown on his face. 

Your outstretched hand got his attention, his blazer now in your hand, “thank you so much for giving me your blazer, Hoon,” you spoke up.

His nickname comes out of your mouth seamlessly, making him smile. 

“You can keep it with yourself,” he started, causing you to tilt your head in a questioning manner, “in case you feel cold again, y’know?”

“Yeah? What if I want you to be the one who keeps me warm if I feel cold tomorrow?” You looked into his eyes, testing the waters to ensure if he was actually confident enough to handle you now. 

“I—Yes I can keep you warm,” he stuttered. 

“Y’know we won’t be needing the blazer then,” he answered a second after overcoming the initial shock of you saying that, stepping closer to you. 

“Perfect. Good night then, Hoon,” you spoke sweetly, a playful smirk on your face, your own heart racing at the exchange. 

However, he wrapped his fingers around your wrist the second you turned around, spinning you so you stood right in front of him, hands on his chest to support yourself as your eyes widened at his bold move. 

“Good night, love,” he whispered, his finger tracing your jaw, before he leaned in to place a soft kiss on the apple of your cheek, a teasing smile on his face before he walked two steps back, his bottom lip bitten to conceal his smirk as he got into his room.

Your fingers instantly touched the place where he had kissed you. The small display of affection earlier had left you restless and desperate for more, wondering how his lips would feel against the expanse of your skin. 

“God, Sunghoon,” you whispered to yourself, eyes closing as you realized;

You wanted more. 

“Fuck—oh lord! Faster, please,” you whined, as his fingers pressed against your cunt, rubbing your soft folds in an agonizingly slow pace, his lips planting hot open-mouthed kisses down the valley of your chest. 

“You like that, huh?” He asked, mumbling against your skin, biting and sucking on your hardened nipples harshly, doing it enough to imprint marks on your body. 

The pain was more pleasurable than you could have ever thought of. 

“So fucking much,” you hummed, fingers grabbing onto his roots, tugging his hair slightly. 

You cried out of pleasure when he inserted two of his fingers into your pussy, pumping them in and out before he came to whisper against your lips. 

“Bet you’ve been dreaming about this—about me,” he smirked. 

A moan left your mouth, which he swallowed by kissing you right away, taking all your lewd noises in. 

“Don’t you, kitten?” He asked against your mouth, his fingers leading you to your orgasm, the nickname only acting as a catalyst to the high of your pleasure. 

All until your alarm rang and your eyes snapped open, a gasp leaving your mouth as you sat up straight in a go, once you came to the realization that it was just a dream. 

A wet dream. 

About Park Sunghoon. 

“Oh god, oh my fucking god, no way,” you groaned, hiding your face into the blanket, pussy tingling with the dream you had a few seconds back, mostly due to how realistic it was. 

You had no other option but to hop into the shower and lean against the shower wall, your fingers inching down to play with your soaked folds, rubbing your clit in gentle circles as your phone played a sensual song from your playlist, remembering how Hoon touched you in your dream. 

You moaned, shoving two fingers in, curling them inside you with a desperate moan, a moan of Sunghoon’s name, as you bit your lip to conceal your lewd noises, you thrusted your digits with need, till you made a mess on your fingers, breathing hard as you struggled to stand straight. 

You looked into the mirror, breathless, realizing just how pathetic your condition was, even more so when you had made yourself cum by thinking of Park Sunghoon. 

You wondered how you were ever going to face him after this. 

Especially when you had a beach day ahead and the possibility of seeing Hoon shirtless would be high. 

Ignoring the fact that you had a wet dream about the man sitting in front of you during breakfast was a tough thing to do, yet you managed it well. 

He looked like a prince even in casual clothes and he knew how to make you go crazy by just a wink of his, even giving you the doughnut in his plate, which you wanted so dearly. 

His appearance was innocent, unlike last night where he was in a black button up—hot and attractive beyond words, he left you speechless. 

“Are we renting a bike or not?” You asked Karina with a smirk after you were done eating. 

“I’m down,” she gave you a high-five, “I don’t know about the boys though.”

“Wait, you can ride bikes?” Jay asked, impressed. 

“Of course, we can, Jay,” You answered proudly. 

“Take us on rides then,” he said, brow raised at the offer. 

“Sure, select your rider, we’ll go to the beach on the bike then,” you smiled.

By the time you got ready in shorts and a top, which you wore on your bikini set, the sun had come up and was shining brightly. You had your bag packed with all essentials and two sets of extra clothes because you never know when you’re at the beach, not to mention how much sunscreen you had used to protect your skin. 

All four of you got into the lift, and you noticed how you and Karina were wearing the same colours, while the boys were in shorts and t-shirts. 

“Who’s coming with me then?” She asked, showing her bike keys. 

“I am,” Jay spoke up, as if it was their plan to leave you with Sunghoon, alone at that. 

You bit your lip, closing your eyes for a second before turning to look at Hoon, “you’re stuck with me then.”

“Perfect,” he smirked, following you out. 

“Wear this,” you passed him the helmet, which he put on. 

But your gaze went on his arm, which flexed as he fixed his helmet, the short sleeved t-shirt did nothing to hide his muscles. 

You were surely not gonna survive this day. 

“Let’s go,” he smiled, snapping you out of your daydream. 

“You ready?” A smirk settled on your face as you checked the rear view mirror, looking at Sunghoon, who was quick to send a nod back. 

What he didn’t expect was that you’d speed up the second you start the bike, making him jerk forward and hold on to your waist, making you shiver slightly before you began your journey of a total of ten minutes, the beach being close to your hotel. 

“Woah, fuck!” You heard the boy say from behind, making you smile as you zoomed past the cars and other vehicles. 

“Hold on tight,” you screamed against the wind, loving the light breeze caressing your skin, and Sunghoon’s body pressed against yours. 

His arms tightened around you with your command, and your mind wandered to the morning when you dreamt about him. 

It did feel good, and you were certain you wanted more. 

Meanwhile, Sunghoon was looking around, enjoying the scenery, but most importantly, he was enjoying the time he got to spend with you — his old crush. He leaned in, taking in your scent, smiling at how you didn’t change your perfume still. 

He was highly attentive and observant when it came to you. 

A series of hooting was heard in the parking lot, where all of your gang was waiting for you four to arrive, thoroughly surprised to see you riding bikes. 

“That’s so fucking hot,” Yeonjun came over, wearing only beach shorts, abs on display as he saw you take off your helmet, the scene looked as if it came out of a movie. 

“Dang, Junnie, been working out?” you asked, focus now on him as you happily chatted and took his hand, which he offered with his charming smile, and walked towards the beach with everyone else. 

Sunghoon watched it all with his jaw clenched, Jay and Karina approaching him with a knowing expression on their faces. He wanted to spend time with you, and he didn’t expect anyone to steal you away from him so soon. 

He was pissed. 

“Maybe she’d notice you if you remove your SpongeBob t-shirt,” Jay adviced, keeping his elbow on his shoulder. 

“What’s wrong with SpongeBob?” He asked, tilting his head. 

“Oh god, what would you do without Jay, he’s right by the way. Also, do you have abs?” Karina asked, doing the same from his other side. 

“Uh huh—does it matter?” Hoon huffed, shrugging their hands off and walking further. 

“It does matter when you’re whipped and trying to impress a baddie!” Jay announced helpfully, making Hoon stop to slap his shoulder. 

“Stop shouting for fucks sake!” He warned. 

“You’ll never get her at this rate. Trust me, go shirtless and see the magic. Also, stop being a loser and move your ass, go and approach her before someone else does,” Jay said. 

Sunghoon simply looked around to ensure that no one was eavesdropping on their conversation, his friend embarrassed him enough and your best friend didn’t help either. Did he actually make it that obvious? He wondered. 

Seeing you laughing with Yeonjun did make him want to step up his game. 

“Guys! Get changed and then the ones who wanna enjoy the water are free to do that, while those who wish to do water sports, gather around that area,” Taehyun announced, pointing at a shed area meant for the registration of water sports. 

You simply wanted to enjoy in the water, so you made your way towards the changing stalls, getting rid of your shorts and top to reveal your bikini, after which, you looked into the mirror to ensure your appearance was okay. 

“Love the bikini,” Isa complimented and you cooed at her one piece swimsuit. Everything she wore suited her perfectly. 

And Isa didn’t lie, a lot of heads turned to look at you once you were out, some silently admiring your beauty, for instance—Sunghoon, with his eyes fixated on you and your body. 

While others, like Yeonjun, didn’t hesitate to show how pleased they were by your entrance, whistling slowly, which flustered you slightly as you rolled your eyes at him, rushing to get under the beach umbrella, eyes darting away to look at Sunghoon, who was already staring at you. 

“See you in the water,” Karina left, running away with excitement clear on her face. 

That left you two alone under the umbrella. 

“You’re not going?” You asked Sunghoon, getting sunscreen out of your bag. 

“Just waiting for you,” he spoke smoothly, causing you to look at him. 

“Help me then?” You passed him the bottle of sunscreen, turning around with your bottom lip bitten. 

Sunghoon took a deep breath, he wanted to touch you in more ways than one. He squeezed out some sunscreen, his cold fingers touching your skin as he applied it on your shoulder with a gentle massage. 

His strong hands made you sigh with pleasure, head tilting to give him more access to your neck area, his fingers paying attention to each inch of your back, fingers digging into your inner shoulder with his breath fanning your neck. 

He took your name, almost as a whisper. 

“Yes, Hoon?” You looked back at him, only to find his face inches away from you. 

He came closer, looking into your eyes, “let’s go,” he smiled, heart racing from the proximity and he wasn’t sure how longer he could handle staying so close to you without even kissing you. 

“Race you to the water,” you screamed, running away with a smile so big, it naturally made the boy smile as he realized how much he wanted you. 

You were fast, but he was faster and his arms wrapped around your waist the second your feet touched the water. Soft giggles left your mouth as he turned you around and ran further, standing in the water with his arms open and a victorious smile graced his face. 

“That’s fucking cheating!” You pointed your finger at him, others laughing at your childish bickering as he defended himself with a serious expression, trying not to give in to your pout. 

“I don’t cheat,” he came close to say, pouting on his own. 

Before you could retort, he started splashing water all over your body, others joining soon and splashing water everywhere. 

“Hoon, what the—” You squealed, rushing to splash water back on him, only to trip and fall right into his arms, his hands firmly holding you close to him. 

“What? Falling for me already?” He asked, a cocky smirk on his face. 

“In your dreams,” you retorted. 

“You were,” he shrugged, confusing you yet again. 

“Where?” 

He hooked his finger and lifted your chin tenderly, making you look into his eyes, “in my dream, last night,” he whispered, leaning in closer, leaving you speechless. 

Sunghoon was the shy, nerdy kid who used to sit in the front of the class, always keeping to himself, talking to only Jay. 

Now, however, you couldn’t even recognize the guy in front of you. While you found the old Hoon to be cute, you wouldn’t lie when you say that the confidence he oozed now made you want to know him more. The words rolled off his tongue so smoothly, which made you wonder if he flirted with others too. 

It seemed as if he was on a roll to make you go speechless, and his plan was working. By the time you turned around to reply to him, you saw him swiftly remove his t-shirt. 

Your body stilled as your eyes traveled up and down his body, skin shining with the sunlight that complimented him perfectly. He was lean but muscular, muscles flexing as he took off his SpongeBob t-shirt, abs now on display for everyone to see. He looked flawless. 

Karina elbowed your side, eliciting a yelp out of you, “ow fuck—what?” You whisper yelled. 

“You’re drooling,” she pointed out, “get that man,” she tapped on your shoulder, pushing you towards him. 

However, when you observed some girl, who wasn’t a part of your group, coming close to Hoon while placing her hand on his bicep and asking if he was single, it made you want to run away and not witness the exchange of Sunghoon smirking at the other girl. 

Jealousy was a nasty disease, and sadly you were terminal. 

Naturally, you made your way out of the water, face hot as you fanned yourself walking towards the beach chairs under the umbrella, not knowing that the boy had no other job but to follow you, politely rejecting the other girl. 

You sat down, closing your eyes as you tried your hardest not to think about the dream you had earlier, your desire only fuelled when he flirted with you with that ever so stunning smirk of his. 

Seeing him shirtless was your last straw.

You needed alcohol in your system to survive this, to let yourself free. Sunghoon was already resting on the chair next to you by the time you opened your eyes again. 

“I’m hurt,” he started, looking your way. 

You raised your brows at his comment, “why? I thought you had company.” You took a sip of your drink, enjoying the bitter taste on your tongue and the slight warmth it brought to your throat. 

The statement was of immense pleasure to him, especially when he sensed the hint of (read: obvious) jealousy that your words radiated, and he just wished he wasn’t being delusional, his ego boosting alongside his confidence. 

Everyone was out of the water by now, the gang was done with their water sports activities as well, coming and sharing their experiences with a loud chatter, also talking about arranging a bonfire as the sky turned into the prettiest shades of yellow with orange and red hues. 

“I do have company,” he whispered, coming closer for you to hear, “a very pretty one at that.”

He took the beer bottle from your hand, taking a long sip of it, your eyes fixated on how his Adam's apple bobbed as he gulped it down. 

You snatched your bottle from him, watching as two drops trailed down his chest and towards his abs. 

“Sorry, but you left your pretty company back in the water,” you huffed, smiling sarcastically before leaving to get a shower and change back into your shorts before the bonfire. 

Sunghoon held on to your wrist before you could escape, pulling you so your back was flesh against his chest, his lips on your ear, brushing it slightly, “you sound jealous, princess,” he teased. 

You turned to look at him, lips an inch away from his, your head tilting, “I don’t have a single reason to be jealous, Sunghoon,” you quipped. 

With that, you walked away, knowing well you were jealous when you had no right to be so. 

Sunghoon, on the other hand, was having the time of his life stealing your attention and having you to himself. Your reactions only encouraged him to do more, he wasn’t the one to flirt, however, he loved to get a reaction out of you. 

Being together for two days was enough for Sunghoon to realize that his feelings for you never faded, it only grew more after spending more time with you. He couldn’t hide the smile forming on his face as you denied being jealous, it gave him hope that maybe, just maybe, he’d have a chance to win your heart. The fragrance of your body mist lingered around him because of the earlier proximity. 

He swore it was his new favourite scent. 

His eyes followed you, admiring your beauty from afar before he too went to get a shower and freshen up. 

“So, you and Sunghoon, huh?” Yeonjun asked, sitting down on the sand next to you. 

The shower did make you feel better, the cool breeze and the sunset creating a calming atmosphere, the bonfire in front of you only making it cozier. 

The question caught you off guard, resulting in an awkward cough from you, “what do you mean?” 

“Come on, anyone can notice the sexual tension between you two, or maybe I’m just observant,” he shrugged, “you can’t deny that he’s hot,” he pointed out helpfully. 

“I’m not denying anything, but I don’t think anything will happen between us,” you pouted, watching the man walk towards your group, drying his hair with a towel. 

A gesture so natural, but he made it seem so enthralling that you couldn’t help but stare. 

“So you do think he’s hot,” Yeonjun followed your gaze with a smirk. 

He wasn’t going to let this go, and you were sure of that, a groan leaving your mouth as you divert your attention towards him. 

“I’ll help you get his attention, although I think you’re doing pretty fine yourself,” he lowered his voice at the last few words as Sunghoon sat down next to you, passing you his charming smile. 

“Truth or dare,” Yeonjun asked you, starting to implement his plan, passing you another can of beer. 

Sunghoon looked at you with curiosity filled eyes, jaw clenched slightly as he noticed your closeness with Yeonjun, why is he always around you? 

“Uh—truth?” You asked more than answering. 

This also gained the attention of your group, everyone cheering to play a round of truth and dare just like the old times. 

“That’s boring,” he scrunched his nose, “how about I dare you to kiss or rather, makeout with someone in this circle?” 

“Yeah, absolutely not. I’m not playing,” you took a long sip of your beer, ignoring the series of disappointed grunts coming your way. 

“Why?” He whined, “I bet anyone would want a kiss from you,” he emphasized, looking around the circle dramatically before he swiped his tongue on his bottom lip. 

Sunghoon bit the inside of his cheek in annoyance, eyes never leaving your face as he saw you disagree, a small smile on his face at your rejection. 

Oh boy, was he going crazy with his ever so often mood swings, only when it involved you. 

He also wondered if Yeonjun wanted that kiss for himself. 

“He’s right I mean, you are beautiful and oh god, I remember the number of proposals you used to get on Valentine’s day,” someone pointed out as a matter of fact. 

Seems like everyone was drunk already and the night had just started. 

That statement made Hoon go stiff as he remembered his own memory of confessing to you. 

“Oh, that reminds me of the time Sunghoon had come to ask you out,” Yunjin mentioned with a mischievous smile, as if everyone was on a mission to have you and Sunghoon in the spotlight. 

You closed your eyes, dreading the topic that was about to come up right in front of everyone, moreover, deep down you did wish to hear what Hoon had to say, after all these years.

The said guy groaned, hiding his face when the topic he so desperately wanted to avoid, came up out of nowhere, secretly hoping that you didn’t find him weird after remembering the same. 

“Sunghoon confessed?” 

“What? When did this happen?”

“Did you reject him?” 

A bunch of questions were thrown your way and you looked at Hoon with a panicked face, him doing the same, biting his cheek yet again and looking away in, well, rejection. 

“It was in high school, and that’s all we’re telling you,” you answered, dismissing the crowd. 

“So you can kiss him as your dare,” someone proudly suggested. 

He looked bothered and you frowned, “guys, no. Let’s not make him uncomfortable now, it should be consensual y’know,” you spoke gently and Yeonjun took the hint to change the conversation really quick, daring someone else to drink five shots in a go. 

If only you knew how much he yearned for it, yet he was sensible enough to not let it happen in front of an audience; batshit drunk and immature audience if he must say so. 

“Hey. Are you alright?” You kept your hand on his surprisingly warm ones. 

“You’re cold,” he frowned, intertwining his fingers with yours effortlessly and keeping them inside his jacket’s pocket, “I have to keep you warm, remember?” He said, still looking elsewhere as to hide the evident blush creeping up his face, not sure if it was due to the prior embarrassment or the newfound warmth of your body. 

He was nervous, trying his best to divert the topic and you let him, scooting closer to feel his warmth. 

“I really did not know you had a boyfriend back then,” he confessed with reddened cheeks, “I was just so fucking busy with exams and—”

“You don’t have to say anything, Hoon. I do understand and I’m sorry for what happened that day,” you tilted your head to look at him, blinking slowly as you finally felt your alcohol kicking in, “you’re pretty,” you whispered.

Maybe you shouldn’t have drank that much, knowing well you can’t handle, or anyone can handle you after you reach that level of drunk. 

Hoon was on his fourth can of beer already, his tolerance level not being too high, causing him to get drunk faster—it showed on his face. 

His heart hammered against his ribs when you whispered that to him, and he pulled you closer, “you’re the prettiest,” he mumbled, tucking a stray lock of your hair behind your ear. 

Everyone seemed to be in their own worlds, laughing at random things, playing music and dancing, however, your drunk self wanted nothing more than to be with Sunghoon, to kiss him, and it took all of your self control to restrain yourself from doing so. 

Sunghoon pulled you closer and on his lap, your face buried in his chest and his arms wrapped around you. He wanted you more than ever and being drunk, he couldn’t help but pull you impossibly closer to him. 

His palm rested on the side of your waist, gentle caresses sending jolts of pleasure up your spine. It felt too 

Despite everything, you did admit how his presence made you feel warm inside, and it wasn’t solely because of alcohol. 

He bummed a song under his breath, you almost slept in his hold, his deep voice giving you butterflies. His embrace made you feel wanted, just like you had wanted him, and you indeed were in your own world, soon being disturbed by others saying it’s time to go back. 

Someone made you drink water, and soon, you were in a cab with your best friend next to you, Sunghoon on the other side and Jay riding shotgun. 

“Good night,” Karina sang out once you reached your hotel, Jay leaving soon after. 

“Come with me, I want to sleep with you,” you whined, no control over your mouth anymore, you took Sunghoon’s hand, pulling him into your room. 

“Y/n,” he whispered, closing the door behind him. 

“Fuck,” he muttered out, seeing you remove your denim shorts, leaving you in your t-shirt as you climbed on your bed. 

He followed, discarding his clothes and getting into the bed with you, a blanket covering your bodies. Your back was pressed against his muscular chest, his arm around your waist keeping you in place. 

A soft gasp left your mouth as you felt his hot breath on your shoulder, his lips touching your skin, making it burn with warmth, “Hoon,” you softly whined. 

“Yes, baby?” He continued placing open mouthed kisses on your skin. 

“Kiss me,” you breathed out. 

“Would you like that?”

“Yes, so much,” you confirmed. 

“I want to kiss you,” he confessed, “but not when we’re drunk. If you ask that of me tomorrow then I’ll do it without question.”

“No—right now,” you mumbled, whining. 

“Shh, sleep for me baby,” he said, distracting you with soft kisses on your shoulder again. 

“But—”

“Go on, princess, sleep, hm?” 

You smiled even though he couldn’t see you, “okay,” you said softly, admiring how beautiful the man was. 

You turned around to face him, “good night, Hoon,” your voice came out as a whisper. 

“Good night , princess.” You felt his lips on your forehead before you drifted off to dreamland. 

A dull ache in your head disturbed your precious sleep. Your eyes opened with a few blinks, settling down on Sunghoon, who laid next to you with his eyes capturing your each movement. You stiffened for a good second, remembering how hot his lips felt on your body the last night. 

“Fuck,” you groaned, hand on your head as the effects of hangover started to kick in. 

“Here,” he got up, passing you a bottle of water. 

“Hoon,” you started, not sure what to say about last night. 

“I’ll go,” he says, “I—I didn’t want to make things awkward between us,” he apologized, getting up quickly, putting his clothes on and leaving before you could say much. 

“Ugh,” you groaned, hating how the situation turned into what it shouldn’t have been, you wanted him, drunk and sober, in both states. 

But he didn’t know that. You were worried if he didn’t want that, or if his gestures were friendly all this time. 

His kisses weren’t friendly last night, your mind reminded you, and you let out a series of curses at that, at how desperately you had wanted him to be close to you, all this in a span of two days. 

Sunghoon was breathing hard by the time he locked his room, going straight in the shower.  He was frustrated. The hot water droplets paired with his flashbacks from the last night, the way you said his name in a whisper, the way your bikini fit you perfectly, and how you looked at him like you wanted him just as much as he did. 

He groaned, hand traveling down his skin to pump his semi hardened cock, gulping as images of you invaded his mind. With his head resting against the tiled wall, his fist moved on his length with speed, with need. 

He had never jerked off to the thought of anyone before you came into his life again, it was his first time and he admitted, he didn’t know that just the thought of your body pressed against his would make him this hard. 

With a moan escaping his lips, he painted the tiles white with his cum, your name leaving his lips as he stood there, breathing hard and deep in thought. 

He had to have you. 

Tonight. 

“We’ll go first,” you tell Karina, getting ready together for the last night — the club night. 

“Sure, but why?” she asked, trying to perfect her already perfect liner. 

“I don’t wish to face Sunghoon,” you mumbled, sitting down on the bed to wear your heels. 

She stopped her movements, turning to look at you, “I thought you guys hooked up last night, it was going well, wasn’t it?” She asked, confused. 

“I don’t know, babe. He didn’t do anything yesterday because we were drunk, which was very sweet of him, but then he left this morning without talking about it,” you explained. 

“So talk tonight, and maybe do more cause you don’t have much time left,” she reminded you, “maybe go with Yeonjun’s plan too, Hoon would definitely reach out to you once he sees you with him. I’ve seen that he doesn’t really like when Jun’s with you, it shows on his face.”

“Really?” You asked with a frown, “making him jealous sounds very high school core to me.”

“So what? It works!” She smiled, “and I’m ready, how do I look?” 

“Stunning, gorgeous, perfect,” you answered, “and I think I’ll take up your advice this time.”

She smirked, “let’s go and get you your man,” she said, coming close to you, getting a shade of lipstick out which suits you through and through, knowing well that it’s the perfect opportunity to use it. 

Flashy lights, loud music, drinks and dancing bodies everywhere. It was easy to spot Yeonjun on the DJ stage, vibing to the music feely. Life of the party as always. 

“Let’s grab some drinks,” Karina spoke in your ear, the music being too loud for you to hear much from a distance. 

You nodded, following her and smiling when you saw a few people from your batch standing there and drinking. 

“My ladies, you look hot,” Beomgyu said, kissing your knuckles and ordering drinks for you both. 

Seems like making Hoon jealous won’t be a problem after all, especially when everyone has a flirty nature. 

You weren’t going to drink today, you had to be sober and in your right mind, so you settled for orange juice instead, the music making you move on your own. 

“My lady!” Yeonjun spoke up, popping out of nowhere, pulling you into a hug before he came closer to whisper, “you look stunning,” his eyes shining as he said so, “but I don’t see lover boy, where’s he?” 

“Will be here soon I hope,” you replied. 

“Dance with me, he’ll definitely come sooner if he sees you with me,” he smirked as you took his hand, taking up on his offer. 

Yeonjun was a good company after all, your eyes widening at his bold moves before he pulled you in with a smirk, “lover boy’s here, and he’s looking at us,” he informed you, your eyes moving behind to look at him. 

Sunghoon was agitated, fuming almost with the sight in front of him. 

He wanted you all to himself, for tonight, tomorrow, and if possible by any means—forever, and he wasn’t going to shy away, not this time. 

“Are you just gonna stand and watch while he takes away your girl?” Jay asked from beside him. 

“Not today, not this time, Jay,” Hoon replied simply, his eyes following your actions, watching as Yeonjun took you to the bar, Gyu on the other side as you laughed about something you were talking about, whispering in each other’s ears. 

Sunghoon scoffed, rolling his eyes as he walked towards you. He didn’t wish to be nice all of a sudden, it was the last night, last possible chance for him to actually do something or regret sitting back forever. 

He stood right behind you at the bar, eyes fixated on your face, the shade of lipstick you had on suited you so perfectly that he wanted to ruin it by smashing his lips onto yours, turning you around in a single go and claiming you his. 

Instead, he tapped on your shoulder, successfully capturing your attention as you finally looked at him thoroughly — he was clad in black trousers, a loose black shirt with two top buttons kept open, his chest slightly on display. A delicate chain on his slender neck, hair parted to the side to match his look and his defined jaw clenched as he looked at you with a desire filled gaze.

His eyes held a different kind of intensity tonight, almost the kind you’d want to get lost in, his lips curved into an attractive smirk as he finally spoke. 

“May I steal you for a moment?” He asked. 

“Yeah,” you nodded mindlessly, gulping at how fine he looked. 

He didn’t wait for you to follow him, instead, he held on to your wrist and pulled you with him, your eyes widened at his bold move, your feet moving quicker to match his pace as he dragged you out from the back door, to an alleyway which was empty. 

“Sunghoon—” you called out his name, but he was quick to push you against the wall.

His eyes looked into yours, they were dark with a feeling you couldn’t quite understand before he leaned in, “remember what you said yesterday?” he asked, nose touching yours, frustration clear in his voice. 

“W—what?” Your voice came out shaky, his fingers on your arms were enough to make you shiver.

“Fuck, kitten. Forgot already?” He chuckled and you let out a shaky breath at how easily he called you such nicknames. 

“Forgot what?” You asked, looking into his hooded eyes. 

“That you wanted me to kiss you,” he leaned in further, his lips brushing against yours with his statement. 

“Yeah? And what about it?” you asked, trying to sound stern, as if your legs weren’t about to give out right this second. 

He scoffed, “I fucking bet you’d love it if Yeonjun would do that, won’t you?”

“I could be wrong, but I have a teeny tiny feeling that you are jealous, Hoon,” you replied, a small satisfactory smile on your face when you saw him scowl, your index finger resting on his clavicle. 

He tilted your head upwards, his slender fingers holding your chin up so you looked into his eyes, “fuck—yeah,” he breathed out, “yeah I am, because I fucking want you all to myself—” he confessed. 

“Fuck it,” you muttered midway his sentence, breaking your tough girl act and pulling him closer by his collar, your hand on his shoulder as you pressed your lips onto his. 

He was quick to react, pushing you against the wall harder while also pulling you closer by your ass, his other hand on your nape. His lips moved against yours in a perfect harmony, you felt your knees getting weaker as his soft lips kissed you with no intention of letting go—not now, not never. 

He separated your legs apart with his knees, pushing it in between them with ease, you pushed yourself further till you could feel his thigh in between your legs, applying pressure to your core which had you moaning into his mouth, almost to the point of drooling. 

“Fuck,” he cussed, separating your lips to place rushed kisses on your neck, your head tilting to give him space as you grinded on his thigh, head ringing with the high he gave you just with his kisses. 

“Ah—Hoon,” you whined, causing him to stop his actions, his slender fingers wrapping around your neck as he pulled you closer yet again, speaking against your lips. 

“I really thought I was over you after not meeting you for four fucking years, baby,” he almost growled, “but nah. I saw you at the party sitting next to me and I realized that I still want you, now more than ever,” he whispered, staring deep into your eyes. 

“I—I want you too, Hoon,” your voice came out breathy. 

He let out a low laugh at that, “you sure you don’t want Yeonjun?” 

He was jealous, he didn’t bother denying that and you admit you found this side of him hot, possessiveness clear in his eyes, which had turned even darker if it was possible. 

“His name wasn’t the one on my tongue when I touched myself last night, y’know,” you admitted, not missing the look of slight surprise on his face, “it was yours, only yours,” you tiptoed to whisper in his ear. 

A barely there smirk settled on your lips as you tried to leave, but Hoon was quick to pull you back, his hand on the back of your head as he pushed you against the wall yet again, and you loved how easily he handled you, as if your body moved the way he wanted it to. 

“You’ll be the death of me, kitten,” he said, “it makes me want to mark you up.”

“Why don’t you do it then?” you whispered, raising your brow as a challenge. 

He didn’t need to be told twice, his lips were on yours the very next second, your fingers tugging at his silky roots, sighing in exasperation with the wetness pooling in your underwear, your mind going fuzzy and your insides melting as you let him take control of you. 

He nips at your bottom lip, hand traveling down to cup your breasts, squeezing them lightly before he pinches your hardening nipples, your back arched into him as you feel a shiver going down your spine. 

Your short dress and its sheer fabric does nothing to help you, your skin feels as if it’s on fire with how passionately he kisses you, pulling you into him with desperation while pushing you back against the wall, your hand going under his shirt, tracing his faint abs softly. 

He knows it’s not even nearly appropriate to do this in public, but he can’t, for the life of him, stop his hands from roaming over the expanse of your body, from his fang-like canines to bite your clavicle and his eyes darkening from lust as he sees your body responding to him exactly how he wants to. 

“I won’t be able to stop myself anymore,” he grunted, taking your name.  

“Take me back to the hotel,” you breathed out, intertwining your fingers with his. 

He nodded fervently, hoping that his hard-on won’t be visible as he drags you through the sea of dancing bodies, biting his lip before you both get to the parking lot, getting into the car he had rented earlier. 

He tried his best to be a gentleman as he opened the car door for you, bending down to press another sloppy kiss on your lips, the atmosphere warm with how drunk he looked in your essence. 

It was hard for him to walk and get into the car himself, especially when you were right there, ready and just as desperate as him, your deep breaths only making him breathless. 

His hand rested on your thigh the whole fifteen minutes of the drive, inching upwards with docile squeezes which made you squirm in your seat, low whines leaving your mouth desperately. 

“Shh, baby. I’ll have to park the car right here if you keep making such sweet noises,” he warned. 

The offer was tempting—tempting enough for you to let out a moan, to which he did what he had to. He swiftly took a turn, parking the car at the empty lane, switching the engine off before he unbuckled his seatbelt. 

He turned your way, lips on yours as he unbuckled your belt too, a gasp leaving your lips as he effortlessly pulled you to his lap. 

“You’re so fucking pretty.” His thumb traced your lip, which you parted looking up at him with innocent eyes to suck on two of his digits, swirling your tongue around it, your cheeks hollow as you took it in. You could feel his hardened length just under your clothed cunt, which made you move your hips slightly, just to get a reaction out of him, testing the waters. 

However it backfired once he smirked against your lips, the warmth of his palm travelling up your body, resting on your clavicle as his fingers closed in around your neck, giving it a gentle squeeze before he thrusted up. 

You moaned, struggling to keep your eyes open.  

“I want you, please!” you begged, unbuckling his belt as he watched your every move. 

“I can’t believe I get to have you now,” he says. 

“What do you mean?” You stop to look at him, arms around his neck. 

He puts his arm around your waist, picking you up slightly to get rid of his pants and boxers, “you’re the only fucking person I’ve ever wanted,” he says, whispering your name right after, eyes on your dress strap which slid down your shoulder, “tell me what you want, baby.”

Every word he spoke, every sound he made, it all caused an influx of this feeling in your chest—your heart raced, butterflies erupting into a wild fashion as your face heated up with the depth of this situation. 

“You. All of you,” you answered in a beat, “I can’t wait anymore, I can’t stop thinking about you, Sunghoon,” you said. 

“You don’t have to,” he whispered, kissing a sensitive spot below your ear, “don’t fucking stop, kitten,” he mumbled as he licked your neck, his fingers pulling your panties to the side simultaneously, pressing them to your wetness. 

You held onto his shoulders as he rubbed your sensitive folds, his cock poking at your entrance alongside, “such pretty moans,” he groaned, feeling you being a mess in his arms, “all for me?” 

“All for y—you!” Your words came out in fragments, legs shaking as he pushed his fingers inside you, your back arching into him yet again. His lips were busy planting kisses all over your tits, ensuring not to leave a single spot, pushing your dress down to reveal every bit of you.  

Sunghoon was a patient person, but not when it came to you. You were driving him insane with just how vulnerable and needy you appeared to be in his arms, his eyes fixated on how your chest rose up and down, his own sweat making his hair stick to his forehead, your breaths intertwining as he plunged his fingers harder into you.

Your nails dug into his shoulders, strong enough to leave crescent marks, the sound of your low moans, his grunted murmurs, and the deep breaths interfolded impeccably with the music playing on the radio, reverberating through the car. 

Once he felt like you were prepped enough, dripping on his fingers, he swiftly pulled you up, pressing his lips upon yours as he pushed you down on his cock, your walls clenching around his length, the stretch too pleasurable for it to hurt you. 

Your fingers curled around the fabric of his shirt, scrunching it up as to support yourself against his body, each touch of his igniting your senses. His muscles tensed beneath your touch as your hand unbuttoned his shirt, the cold of your hand juxtaposing the warmth radiating his body.

“You’re not real,” he mused, mesmerized, “so fucking pretty, taking my cock like that.” Sunghoon knew he was far gone when it concerned you, but now that you were actually here, closer to him than ever, he couldn’t help but let his mouth run loose to tell you just how stunning you were. 

“You’re mine tonight, huh?” 

“So—so fucking yours,” you moaned. 

He scoffed, grabbing your jaw to make you look at him, “say it, clearly.” 

“I’m so fucking yours Sunghoon,” you gasped, feeling him twitch hard inside of you. 

“That’s it, that’s my good little kitty,” he chuckled against your mouth, kissing your swollen lips yet again. 

You both muttered a string of curses before you started shifting your hips, his hands on your waist guiding you up and down, eyes closing but he was quick to grab your neck, “look at me when I fuck you,” he said, bucking his hips up to meet yours. 

He loved how you looked, hair messy, lips swollen and eyes slightly teary as you tried to form coherent sentences but failed miserably, all of which Sunghoon loved. 

You were just as gone for him as he was for you. 

“Can you feel what you’re doing to me?” He asked, taking your hand and pressing it to your lower abdomen where you could feel the bulge of his cock sliding in and out effortlessly, given how wet you were, practically dripping all over his lap and the car seat, something that the rental company wouldn’t really appreciate but that was the least of your worries. 

“Gonna make you scream my name till the windows fog up with your desperation,” he rasped near your ear and you couldn’t function anymore, not when the hottest man ever had you spiralling for him.  

“Sunghoon, H—hoon!” Your voice got louder as you did exactly what he had promised you’d do, making him chuckle against your neck, nipping on the skin with the intentions of leaving marks, his marks, “slow, please!”

You were lying to yourself by now, you didn’t want him to be slow, you just weren’t sure how much you can take before you lose the final string of your sanity—if there’s any left, that is. 

“God,” Sunghoon mumbled, “slow? I’ll fuck you hard enough you’ll feel me in your cunt for days, kitten.”

“Fucking hell, I—I’m close,” you moaned, your nails digging into his shoulder. 

“Let go, baby,” he said, groaning as he felt your juices coating his dick, your moans louder than before, eyes closed and his name like a mantra on your lips. 

He grunted, rubbing your clit as he slid out of your pussy, stroking his cock until he spilled his cum all over your inner thigh. 

“I’m not done with you yet,” he breathed out, “not so quick.” 

You were fucked, quite literally. He kissed you, once, twice, and again till he was moaning in your mouth, so dazed he could barely function for a minute when you tried catching your breath. 

He helped you get into your seat again, not even bothering to put his shirt on as he drove back, jaw clenched, your eyes on him the entire time, pussy tingling as his hand squeezed your thigh every two seconds. 

And he didn’t lie, his movements were more frantic than ever as he drove back to the hotel with record speed, making sure to stay and help you look presentable, the small touches of him all over your face made you feel an feeling which you couldn’t quite name, it was indescribable, but you knew it gave you butterflies. 

And you wondered how this guy who fucked you so roughly not even ten minutes back could also be this sweet and caring, kissing you every chance he got. 

You giggled as you ran into the elevator, a smile gracing his own face at your giddy mood, “I don’t want this night to end,” he confessed. 

“It won’t end just yet,” you said, taking out your room card and opening the door, which he closed equally soon as he pushed you against the wood. 

He looked perfect, swollen red lips, shirt barely buttoned, hair all over the place, and eyes so shiny as if he held a whole universe in them, or maybe that was just your reflection. 

“Kitten,” he sighed, “let me taste you,” he requested. 

You looked at him with teasing eyes, a smile of the same fashion gracing your face as you went on, unzipping your dress and moving towards your bed while facing Sunghoon, letting the dress fall along with your underwear, uncovering your bare body to him, as if offering the last morsel of meal to a hungry man. 

He unbuttoned his shirt, discarding all his garments. You could finally see him in light, his eyes hooded, body sculpted by the gods themselves, the v-line and his big cock making you gulp as you remembered how good he felt inside you. 

“Get on the bed,” he ordered you, to which you obliged. 

“God, such a good little girl for me, spread your pretty legs and let me see you, baby,” he spoke, getting in between your legs, his chain dangling down. 

The nickname made you shiver, Park Sunghoon made you feel weak, in all the best ways, the way he kissed your thighs, inching closer to your inner thighs, so close to your core which was still wet, all of this made you breathless. 

A pathetic whine of Sunghoon’s name slipped past your lips the exact second he licked your pussy, his big hands keeping your legs open, “eyes on me,” he spoke against your wetness, humming at the taste. 

He wastes no time in immersing his tongue into your pussy, licking and sucking as you panted, thighs shaking, his tongue tracing your vulva, groans vibrating against your folds, your hips bucking up into his mouth as he delved deeper, pushing his tongue into you. 

Your soft folds made him growl, nuzzling closer. Nothing was enough, he couldn’t get enough of you, even the scent of your arousal had his cock twitching, it was harder than ever, almost painful at this point, his nose nuzzling deeper, brushing against your heat. 

“H—hoon,” you cried, a tear streaming down your face, your fingers tugging on his hair, which only urged him to growl more into your cunt. 

It was so raw, so filthy. 

You feel ecstatic as his thumb probes at your narrow depths, stimulating your clit while he pushes his tongue in, “want you so much,” he spoke against you. 

“Hoon! Please, can’t wait anymore,” you said, pussy swollen and you needed his cock inside you. 

“So needy, and for me?” He asked cockily. 

“Y—yes! Please,” you begged. 

“How can I say no when you ask so nicely?” He comes up, kissing you, making you taste yourself on his tongue.

His chain dangled around your collarbone, his intense gaze focused on your expressions as he pumped his cock a few times, his tip on your entrance. 

He spit into your mouth, diving right in to kiss and capture your moan.

He pushed himself in with a swift movement, bottoming out. He asked if you felt fine, giving you time to adjust, he moved in and out of you swiftly, body pressed against your warm one, his each thrust getting deeper with the roll of his hips. 

You could swear you had never felt this way before, he hit your g-spot so precisely, and the feeling of him being inside you, all raw and thick, made you mewl with pleasure. 

“You look so pretty,” he groaned, licking your neck where he had just marked you, “falling apart on my cock like that.”

Your toes curled each time he opened his mouth to whisper something filthy into your ear, making your head spin in a good way. 

He couldn’t take his eyes off of you, your fucked out face, swollen lips and the innocent eyes begging him to go faster made it harder for him to hold back. He, in fact, didn't wish to hold back anymore.

He thrusted in harder, squeezing your tit as you cried out his name, your walls clenching around him, making his length twitch as his fingers dug into your ass, pulling you closer, your tits pressed against his chest, his eyes wild and desperate. 

“Can’t get enough of you, it’s like your body was made for me,” he smirked lazily, fangs showing as you told him how you can’t wait any longer, you can’t hold back any longer. 

He was just as desperate, not being able to hold his dick twitching in you with a need to release. 

“Cum in me!” You moaned out. 

That drove him over the edge. You filled with his cum? His warmth dripping out of your soft little cunt? Fuck, he could burst his load right into you but he needed you to be completely, truly okay with it. 

“Y/N, are you sure?” He asked, cupping your face, leaning in to brush his nose against yours, foreheads pressed as he breathed in deeply to control himself, just like you, a different kind of warmth spreading through your body. 

He had never done that before, neither had you, however, you wanted nothing more than to experience it for the first time and you wanted it with each other. 

You nodded, “yes—yes please,” before he pushed his cock harder, as you rutted your hips absentmindedly to ride out your high.

The room smelled like sex, the mist clouding it as your sounds resonated the walls, you didn’t even try to conceal your voices anymore, the dim lights only made the atmosphere hotter. 

“Oh, fuck!” He grunted. 

Your orgasm ripped through you as you pulled his nape closer for his lips to be on yours, his own climax rushing as you felt the warming sensation of Sunghoon’s cum filling your cunt up to the brim. 

You both stilled, taking deep breaths and coming down from your state of euphoria, gulping as you saw him looking right at you. 

“C’mere,” he said softly, getting up and watching his cum dripping down on your sheets, gulping as the tip of his ears getting red. 

You couldn’t get up, only looking up at Hoon with teary eyes, he swore you looked like a broken puppy to him, which only made him wanna scoop you up in his arms, his muscles flexing yet again as he held you up, kissing the corner of your eye, tasting the salty tear that escaped, courtesy of his cock which provided you with the best orgasm of your life. 

“Fuck—ah,” you whimpered, only boosting his ego.

You couldn’t walk, he made it happen. 

Which made it his duty to take care of you, biting down on his smile, he chuckled, making you groan and slap his shoulder, only causing him to laugh without hesitation this time, you swore it was the prettiest laugh ever. 

“You alright, love?” He asked, eyes shining as you nodded, both walking towards the bathroom.  

“God—don’t say that,” you mumbled, shyness creeping through. 

“What? My love?” He said again, smiling as he emphasized again. 

“Hoonie,” you warned and he only kissed you again, before you pushed him playfully, stepping into the shower, barely holding yourself up. 

“Need help, princess?” He asked, eyebrows raised as he stared at your body, and you gave him a look, almost surprised to see him getting hard again. 

Oh boy, was he crazy for you. 

“In the shower?” You raised your own brows. 

“Well, I fear if I was the one who filled you up with my cum, I should be the one to help you clean it,” he whispered, getting into the shower, closing the glass door behind him, sneaking his hand up your waist. 

“You’re crazy,” you said, looking up at him with a grin which you did try hard to conceal. 

“Hey, it also helps us save water,” he added, smile widening, before he leaned in, lips on your neck, as you felt the warmth of the water cascading down your bodies. 

“Missed this?” He asked, shoving his hand between your legs, “god, you’re so full of my cum,” he chuckled proudly as you shivered in his arms. 

Sunghoon wasn’t usually this confident, however, seeing you breathless, whimpering and asking for more even though he had just destroyed your cunt was doing something to him, he couldn’t help but admire the sight—something he’d never get used to. 

He was gonna get what he’s wanted all along, once wasn’t enough, even a thousand times won’t be enough, he wanted you for the course of his lifetime, eerily romantic thought for someone who was fucking the girl of his dreams in a shower. Lovely. 

You pulled him in for another rushed kiss, feeling him smirk against you, chasing your lips as you tried to move back in hopes of whining, but he was greedy enough to grab your nape, greedy enough to swallow all your moans, keeping it for himself. 

“Fucking hell,” he muttered, fingers teasing your cunt, or what he’d like to say, cleaning your cunt which he so nastily claimed, “not clean enough, hm? I think we’ll have to use a deeper approach.”

“You’re fucking crazy,” you panted, his cock lining up against your wet cunt, and you could only look up at him. 

His hair sticking to his forehead, water droplets dripping down his face to your cheek, steam fogging up the glass door as you tried to keep yourself up on the slick tiled surface, his muscles flexing as his veiny hand held you up, his grunt loud as he pushed himself into you yet again tonight. 

His thrusts were languid as you tried your hardest to breathe, his head leaning down, with his mouth open, practically breathing you. 

“I fucked you so hard and yet you’re so fucking tight,” he grunted, “god—baby, you feel so fucking good,” he muttered. “So fucking good—fucking perfect—mine.”

“Yours,” you mewled out, eyes closing with each of his hard thrust. 

Lasting long wasn’t an option, not when you were this close to reaching euphoria, but it was different this time, and you feared what might happen if he went on like this. His cock was so thick, also the biggest you’d ever taken, to the point you could feel its bulge on your lower abdomen.  

“Can’t—can’t anymore,” you stuttered, legs shivering to the point your knees gave out and Hoon held you up with ease. 

“Doing so good for me baby, let go, hm? Be a good little slut for me,” he rasped. 

That tumbled you over the edge, your eyes rolling back as you let out the loudest moan of Sunghoon’s name, thighs shaking as a jet of liquid gushed out of your quivering slit, surprising the boy who let out a groan, filling your cunt again as you squirting all over his cock, the sensation overwhelming you to the point your body almost fell limp in his arms, panting harshly as Sunghoon moaned. 

“Did you just—” 

“I didn’t—know I could,” you mumbled, hiding your face in his neck, embarrassment creeping through. 

He breathed in deeply, kissing you again, “that was the hottest fucking thing you could have done, baby” he mumbled against your lips, “you’re perfect, you did so well for me, you’re my good girl.”

Sunghoon barely held himself up, the way you reacted to him, the way you looked when you let yourself loose, it was going to be etched in his mind forever. 

It took you both a while to calm down again, and he kissed you all over to do so, soft pecks all over your face, making you smile lazily at his sudden cuteness. He made sure you were clean and helped you shower properly this time before coming out. 

Sunghoon was clingy, absolutely not having it in him to leave your side, observing every move of yours as if trying to memorize every bit of you, even making sure you’re clad in his shirt as you both made your way towards the bed, a soft glow gracing your faces.

“Hey,” he said, getting into the covers with you. 

“Hey,” you turned towards him, still feeling giddy. 

“I can’t believe you’re real,” he said, touching your cheeks softly. 

“Why would you say that?” You asked, keeping your hand on his. 

“Before tonight, I had only ever dreamed of being this close to you, I never thought I’d even get to kiss you,” he spoke. 

“Hoon, I’ve been thinking about you since we met again,” you told him, brushing his hair with your fingers softly, “actually, ever since I got the invite,” you confessed sheepishly. 

That made him smile, “can I ask you something?” 

You hummed, “yes?” 

“Can we, maybe, if you’re okay with it then y’know—” he fumbled with his words, making you laugh, even the slight lisp of his was so perfect. 

“Shh, we’ll talk tomorrow, yeah? Hold me to sleep, Hoonie,” you said, putting your arm around him. 

His heart melted at the sight, and what made him happier was the fact that you didn’t just want him for sex, your smile expressed it all. The thought of you actually liking him back, reciprocating his feelings made his heart beat faster, anticipating a future with you. 

“Good night, baby,” he kissed you, just like last night. However, he kissed your lips tonight, making you giggle softly as you held onto him tighter. 

He stared at you, not being able to hide his smile and wondering how he could ask you out again, especially when it would be easy for him to meet you since you both lived in Seoul. 

The trip was officially over, and you could proudly admit that you loved every second of it. 

Your flight was the same as Jay and Sunghoon’s, courtesy of you living in the same city, in which he couldn’t help but keep his eyes fixed on your seat. He appeared to be a pathetic puppy who couldn’t help but stare at his owner, gone to the point he picked the same movie to watch as you, talk about being a stalker in love. 

Jay was sitting next to Hoon and he desperately wished he could kick Jay out and ask you to be next to him but he managed to behave these few hours. He was happy as long as he could look at your pretty face. 

Both Jay and Karina screamed in shock when Sunghoon kissed you at the airport before leaving for their own apartments, he wasn’t shy about his, almost boasting in a way to show off how you were his, almost. 

A text popped up on your notification panel as soon as you reached your place, still smiling like a madman while answering all the questions Karina threw your way. 

Hoon <3: hey i was wondering if you’d like to go out with me sometime? 

You: as friends?

Hoon <3:  god, baby c’mon 

You: as friends? 🥺

Hoon <3: Y/N what if i kms 

You: as friends? 😁

Hoon <3:  okay, fine 😔 nooo, as something more :(

You: fuckk you’re so cute like a puppy

Hoon <3:  oh

You:  don’t tell me… you like being called that? 

Hoon <3: why don’t you try and say it then the next time i’m deep inside your cunt?

You:  oh fuck

Hoon <3: is that a yes baby?

You:  what if it is? 

Hoon <3: that’ll make me very very happy, princess 

You:  AHAAHDHSJ text me the date and time 😚

You smiled, loving how things had changed from the first time he asked you that question. 

It was indeed a reunion that you could never forget. 

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[yjw1a1]

Sim Jaeyun — TOO FAST TOO BAD

Jake is known as the city’s famous drift king, a legend in the illegal street racing world, completely untouchable and invincible. However, when you're assigned to work undercover as a racer for an investigation, you don't expect that getting involved with Jake would mess with your morals and most importantly, your heart.

PAIRING: — Street Racer Jake x Cop Reader (f)

GENRE: fluff, a bit of angst, super suggestive, smut, slow burn, illegal street racing au (inspired by fast and furious)

WARNINGS: lots of heavy making out (pool, car, bedroom, bathroom) yeah they're freaky, a bit of dirty talking, petnames, skinship, small slow burn, mentions of alcohol, guns and drugs, fighting, a little bit of cursing, morally grey characters, mentions of death, etc. Jake is blonde from the beginning till half of the story. Enhypen OT7 + one oc for the plot.

WC: 23k — masterlist - perm taglist

— Author Note: Guys I know this is long but it's totally worth it, I swearrr. I've been thinking about writing this for a long time and it's finally hereee, so I'm really happy. Hope you guys like it ♡

The tire tracks on the asphalt formed a random pattern that not even forensics could figure out how many cars had passed by. The smell of gasoline was as natural as the dew that night.

As the loud music contrasted with the sound of laughter from the countless people there, you mingled through the crowd with your arms crossed, trying to get a better view of the 4 cars positioned in the middle of the track. Your low-waisted jeans bothered you as you felt the wind hit the small skin patch on your back.

“It's the king!” One person shouted and the crowd began to make room for a red convertible to pass and park next to the 4 positioned cars. “Make room for the king to pass.”

The applause and cheers were deafening as Jake stepped out of the car. His bleached hair shone in the streetlights and his smile was almost mesmerizing. He had an aura that was noticeable from afar, no one there could take their eyes off him.

He was leaning against his car with a tall man beside him.

“If the king is present today, then it will be a good race.” A girl next to you commented and you looked at her trying to get more information about that environment “Who's this king? Can he drive?” You asked and she looked at you with a look of shock, as if the question was absurd “If he can drive?” She scoffed “Do you know what DK stands for?” You shook your head and she looked back at Jake. He looked eager to see tonight’s competitors. “It means Drift King. Besides being an incredible racer, he is also the best at drifting.”

You somehow knew he was a key player in all of this, but apparently, he was much more respected than you expected. He clearly is the leader who brought people together there.

“How can I meet him?” The girl gave a sarcastic laugh, shaking her head negatively. “No one can get close to him like that, only the best racers.” She looked into your eyes and whispered “That is, if you fall into his good graces.”

You remained silent, watching as the sound of the car engines warming up shook the environment. A few guys seemed to be trying to get Jake's attention, some with explicit flattery and others with fearful comments disguised as compliments. He remained unfazed, looking through the crowd as if nothing could shake his inner peace.

“Alright, the race is about to start.” A young boy with a few piercings in his ears stood in the middle of the cars talking about how it would all work. “Rules are simple, entry is 2 grand in cash and winner takes all.” The racers looked at each other through the open windows of the cars and Jake smirked at the tension in the air.

“Ready, set,” the boy yelled, “Go!” He lowered the flags and the crowd went wild with the sound of the cars speeding away. Your eyes lit up as you saw how the whole scene seemed to fit together. The loud music, the night lights casting shadows that nicely adorned the custom cars, and the smell of burning tires.

As the race went on, you watched Jake's face from afar. He seemed to have everything under control with a melancholic look as he watched the cars turn at exorbitant speeds.

You weren't used to this environment. It was different from anything you had ever seen or experienced in your life, which increased your curiosity. You were starting to realize why these races would attract so many people's attention. The customized cars, the adrenaline of the races, and the smell of nitrous oxide were somehow fun.

As they crossed the finish line, the people there cheered as they saw the winner get out of his car. He gave Jake an expectant look as if he wanted recognition. Jake just smiled and without saying a single word turned to get into his car and leave.

You walked away from the crowd and left the place thinking how this is going to be more challenging than you thought.

☆

“Congrats on your promotion.” Jay approached you with that gentle smile that only he knew how to give “I'm glad we can work together in this case.”

You smiled and bumped his closed fist “Yeah, me too.” He sat down next to you at the huge conference room table. Your boss, who was already seated, silently looked at you both before turning on the computer and starting the meeting.

“Finally, we can start the meeting.” Your superior cleared his throat and turned on the slides. “As you know, the new drug in circulation is causing many problems like sudden deaths in young people in their 20s, but the only clue we have about the culprit is in the middle of these illegal races.”

A photo of the places in the city where the races would probably take place appeared on the screen. “Our informant got the information that there are probably some drug dealers from the creator of this drug in the middle of the races. If we capture at least one of his drug dealers, we can get to the culprit.” He looked at you. “What were your impressions of the place?”

You sighed “The easiest way to infiltrate and talk to the people there is to gain the trust of their leader.” Your boss and Jay paid attention to what you said “He is the most respected by people there. He is tough and is not impressed by ass-kissers, so I need to make a good impression.”

“How do you intend to gain his trust?” You gave your boss a side smile. “I have some ideas but I need you to cooperate with me.”

“Are you sure about this?” Jay looked at you worriedly “I think it’s too risky.” You leaned back in your chair “I trained for this, you don’t need to worry.”

Your superior nodded his head and sighed “What do you need?”

“I pick the car and I do things my way.” You leaned across the table and smiled. “To catch a king’s attention, you have to be the perfect entertainment.”

Your boss smiled in satisfaction. “Great. You start on Monday at your new apartment and job. Jay will cover for you during the week with whatever you need.” He stood up from the table before looking at the two of you. “Be careful.”

Jay looked at you and gave you a confident smile “C'mon my favorite racer.” You smiled, standing up with him patting his back “Let's go find a stupid dealer.”

The night seemed as exciting as all the others, but for some unknown reason, Jake felt that tonight's race would be different. He stood on the hood of the car watching the crowd approach the cars while drinking an energy drink to wake himself up. He was tired from the work he had in the car workshop earlier, but he wasn't going to sleep early.

“What are you thinking about?” Sunghoon walked over with his hands in his pockets “You’re quieter than usual.”

Jake smiled and swallowed the rest of the energy drink he had in his hand. “I was thinking about how I want to see an exciting race today.” He looked at Sunghoon. “I don’t wanna see a race that makes me regret not going home to sleep.”

Sunghoon chuckled and sat down next to Jake “Let’s watch and find out then.” He looked ahead to see more cars arriving at the scene. “But it looks like we’ll have some interesting things today.”

From afar, some familiar convertibles arrived, but one car in particular caught their attention.

A pink Toyota Supra MK4 arrived in the middle of the crowd, making everyone look at the car that had a red fireworks design on the sides. The men whistled in awe of the machine and the girls seemed excited to see that the driver was a woman.

When the door opened, you stepped out of the vehicle as if you were used to it. Jake looked at you from afar and gave you a mischievous smile “Who's that?” He asked biting his lower lip, analyzing you from top to bottom. Your denim skirt with some chains, your long black boots, and the tight pink blouse that adorned your beautiful body.

Sunghoon smirked “I have no idea, but I want to know.” He and Jake looked at each other before getting up from the car and approaching the place where you were talking to a racer.

'hey baby, wanna see my car?' 'let me see what your front can do pretty.' A few men around cat called you, but you just ignored them rolling your eyes and focused on showing a confident posture. You knew you had to focus on your mission and the first step is to make an iconic entrance and gain trust from the drivers.

“Damn babe, what a machine.” A boy who clearly looked younger than you approached your car looking at all the details “Wanna show what you got in there?” He pointed to the hood of your car and you approached him with your arms crossed.

“Not yet.” You smiled and the boy ran his hand through his hair “ C'mon, don't play hard with me.” He pointed to his car “I can show you mine.” You slightly turned your head to the side thinking of his proposition and he smiled “I'm Ni-ki by the way.” He held out his hand and you shook it gently “I'm Y/N.”

You smiled before bending down slightly to open the hood of your car. Jake watched the interaction (and your thighs) with curious eyes.

“Since you are so curious, here.” You showed the engine of your car and Ni-ki approached, narrowing his eyes “You're kidding me.” He widened his eyes in shock “You got a cool-air intake, NOS-fogger system and a T-Four Turbo with nitrous injection?!” You nodded and he gave you an airy laugh “That's crazy shit.” He​ suspiciously looked at you “Wanted to keep this a secret for the race, huh?”

You smiled and closed the car hood before sitting on top of it. “Exactly.”

Your little interaction were interrupted by the crowd greeting Jake and Sunghoon who approached you.

“What's up Ni-ki.” Jake fist-bumped Ni-ki “Sup king, gonna race tonight?” He shook his head and turned to you “Nah, today I want to see the new talents.”

You smiled at Jake who was staring at you shamelessly “You're new here.” He spoke to you and you rejoiced internally knowing that you managed to get his attention “I am, and you're the famous king I've heard of.”

The people around cheered and Jake walked over to stand in front of you “Didn't know I was famous.” His deep voice answered you and you stood up again “You are.” You crossed your arms and looked at him smiling “I was kinda hoping you would race tonight, that's sad tho.”

Jake ran his hand through his blond hair with a smile. “Sorry to disappoint you, but I want to see the newbies today.”

You nodded your head “That's good, because I'm racing tonight.” Sunghoon smiled and spoke to you “So you wanna race.” “Yeah.” He looked at Jake and smiled. “Since it's your first time here I should tell you the rules.”

His gaze was attentive and Sunghoon pulled a wad of money from his pocket. “You need to pay if you want a chance to run in our race.”

“How much?” Jake twirled the ring on his finger as he looked at you curiously “2 grand in cash. This or nothing.” He held out his hand and you stared at the tall man’s hand in front of you.

“Can I offer something better?” You asked and Sunghoon’s eyebrows arched “It depends on what it is, newbie.” He checked you out “What you got in mind?”

“Here's the deal, if I lose winner takes my car, clean and clear. But if I win,” You turned to Jake and smiled “I take the cash and I take the respect.”

Jake approached you, looking into your eyes, and shot a smile that could blind anyone nearby “You want my respect?” People around laughed “For some people that's all that matters.” He smiled in surprise at your response, clearly enjoying the conversation.

You stared at each other for a few seconds and Jake looked at Sunghoon with satisfaction in his eyes “Let her race.” He walked to his best friend’s side before turning to look at you one last time “Wanna see what this newbie has to show us.”

You smiled and Ni-ki whispered beside you “You're crazy. If you lose your car, you're gonna lose more than just 2 grand.” You turned around to Ni-ki “Then I just need to win.” Your gaze followed Jake and Sunghoon before he went to get in his car for the race that night.

☆

All 4 cars lined up on the track and your car was the first in line. On your right side was Ni-ki with his car, and then two more cars with a girl and another boy you hadn't met yet.

You looked to your left and saw Jake looking at you with an enigmatic smile.

Now would be the moment when you needed to put into practice everything you had trained. You knew you were a good driver because you’d already done many police chases, but this was different. You had to focus on everything at the same time and calculate the exact moment to overtake the other cars.

You started the car and pressed the clutch and brake holding the car in place. The volume of the cars engine along with the tires was so loud that you could barely hear the girl who was between the 4 cars.

When the flags lowered, you released the brake and accelerated with everything you had. The sprint the car made in seconds made you remember why you trained so hard for this, the adrenaline was indescribable. Ni-ki came out first and you soon after him. The other 2 cars stayed behind you two while the crowd went crazy.

You increased the speed and pressed the clutch, putting the car in 4th gear, while turning the car to the right slightly, blocking the girl who wanted to overtake you at all costs.

Ni-ki was the first to use nitrous oxide (NOS), creating a larger space between the two of you. “Too soon, boy.” You laughed before accelerating and putting it into 5th gear. Ni-ki looked in the rearview mirror and saw that you were approaching faster than he expected and he needed to save the last boost of NOS for the end of the race. “Shit.”

Jake was having fun as he watched the race from afar “She’s good.” He commented and Sunghoon let out a small laugh “Indeed.”

You pressed a button on your steering wheel and activated the NOS, passing by Ni-ki, giving a smile to the boy who frowned. “Sorry, gotta take the lead.”

When you turned around the cone that was positioned at the end of the street, you pressed the clutch downshifting and turned using the handbrake, not letting the power drop too much and slid smoothly, giving a slight drift before accelerating with everything. When you looked at your rearview you saw that Ni-ki wasn't going to give you a break.

The front of Ni-ki's car almost touched yours before you swerved slightly and you saw him smiling in the rearview mirror. "I need to end this kid now.”

His car caught up to you and you were side by side. Before he could retake the lead, you activated the last of your car's NOS and accelerated with everything you had. In a surprise, you saw the car of the boy who was in last place pass Ni-ki and almost catch you.

Ni-ki saw that the one who had passed him was Jungwon, so he decided that either he used his NOS at that moment, or he would not even have a chance of being 2nd place. Jungwon blocked both sides, not giving Ni-ki an opening, moving the car in a zigzag that irritated the boy. “Man, I hate when Jungwon pulls shit like this.” He decided to accelerate slightly to the right and push Jungwon's car to the left, hitting the right taillight of his car.

Jungwon got angry and pressed the accelerator, but Ni-ki was still pressing his side and used the last NOS boost to retake 2nd place. You, who were approaching the finish line, saw that Ni-ki started to hit the back of your car to slow you down and you blocked his view and stepped on the accelerator, making your back stick to the seat behind you and your hair fly back with the wind and the adrenaline hitting you.

Ni-ki managed to stay by your side again with a smile, but before he could celebrate you threw your car against his, making him brake slightly and you passed the finish line by seconds. You slowed down and braked until the car stopped completely and the crowd covered your car with applause and whistles.

Ni-ki arrived right after you, followed by Jungwon and the other girl last.

Your heart was racing with adrenaline, but you smiled happily at the victory. You got out of the car, greeting some girls who were celebrating around you as Jake crossed the crowd, clapping slowly with a look of satisfaction that let you know that you had done a good job there.

“You did it. Congrats on your victory.” He smiled and took the wad of money from Sunghoon and threw it into your hands. “You got the cash.”

You held the money thinking about how you’d never made so much money in such a short period of time “What about your respect?” Jake looked into your eyes that shone with a kind of anticipation that he found adorable. “That too.” He held out his hand and smiled. You shook Jake’s hand, feeling the calluses on his large palm. The way he looked at your orbits disconcerted you as if he could see right into you.

“That was crazy.” Ni-ki spoke to you, drawing your attention and making Jake let go of your hand. “Can't believe you hit me with your car.” You smiled before seeing the 2nd and 3rd place finishers arrive “Learned that from you.”

“Look who's talking.” Jungwon scoffed “You destroyed the taillight of my car.” Ni-ki laughed, scratching the back of his head “We do what we gotta do to win.”

“I agree.” You answered and saw Jake next to you, running his index finger across his mouth as if he wanted to say something important “Now tell me babe, that drift on the way back.” He looked at you “Where did you learn that?”

You knew that not everyone drifted because it was too risky, not to mention that it wore out the tires more and could make the car lose control. However, in one lap you gained an absurd amount of time. Your maneuvers had been practiced before, but the fact that you'd driven under pressure several times because of work was the best weapon you could have.

“I've got my secrets, you know.” You smiled seeing Jake amused by your reaction “I see… you're the mysterious type.” He leaned on the hood of your car looking at you “I like it.”

You felt your cheeks heat up slightly at Jake’s validation. Not that you needed it, but it was strange how his voice alone could change the vibe of the place.

As other cars arrived for owners to compare the best engines and the crowd began to disperse slightly, Jake spoke to you again “You know newbie, we're having a small gathering at Sunghoon's place right now.” He kept looking at you “You're welcome to come.”

Your smile was instantaneous “Sure, I'd love to.” He nodded his head “I'll lead the path, you can follow me.” he gave you one last look and smirked “That is, if you can keep up with me.” You air laughed “Of course.”

“I’ll hitch a ride with you guys, wait for me.” Ni-ki said excitedly going to his car “Me too, man.” Jungwon agreed and you smiled getting into your car. Now you were going to follow Jake and for the first time you could see him driving. Even if it wasn't in a race, you wanted to see the vibe of the famous king of the streets.

Jake got into his gray Nissan Skyline GTR R34. The two blue stripes adorned the front of the car and he rolled down the windows to look around to see who would be following him. He placed his right hand on the steering wheel and leaned his left arm on the window as he waited for people to make way for him to get out. As he accelerated, the wind made the blond strands of his bangs show off his forehead beautifully.

You couldn't deny it, Jake's vibe was priceless. It was much cooler than you expected, and way hotter too.

When you arrived at Sunghoon's house, there were already a few cars parked there, all customized. You parked next to Jake and got out of the vehicle, seeing Ni-ki and Jungwon also park.

Sunghoon's house looked big, not in a huge way, but a kind of house that looked comfortable. Jake locked his car and walked towards you with a smile. You analyzed his outfit, the black leather jacket adorning his beautiful shoulders along with the white blouse that perfectly highlighted his chest and abdomen. His gray jeans matched your skirt, making you wonder why you had this sudden association.

“C'mon newbie. I want you to meet a few people.” Jake snapped you out of your thoughts “Sure.”

“Hey, we're here too.” Niki said and Jungwon laughed “You're such an attention seeker.” Ni-ki nudged him “I want the VIP treatment too.”

“When you do a drift like she did I'll make sure to treat you well, Ni-ki.” Jake turned to the boy as they walked up the small stairs to the front of the house.

“HEY! That's a promise king!!!” The boy smiled as he took off the coat he was wearing “I'll make sure you remember this later.”

Jake rolled his eyes and you smiled. He looked at you curiously “Having fun, newbie?” The way his eyes always look right into your orbits makes you a little bit nervous “Yeah.”

“That's good.” He smiled and you entered the house seeing that there were more people there than you expected. “Small gathering, huh?” Jake was amused by your sarcastic tone “This is small for us.” He lowered his head so he could speak in your ear “I just realized I don't know your name yet.” His sweet voice blowing in your ear was like a cocktail you sip when you want to relax.

“I'm Y/N.” You replied, turning your face away, realizing he was closer than you expected. “Nice to meet you, Y/N.” He smiled “You can call me Jake.”

Jake. His name was Jake. It suited him.

“Hey Jake, Heeseung was looking for you.” Sunghoon called Jake interrupting their little interaction “Where is he?” Jake, you, Ni-ki and Jungwon walked through the crowd following Sunghoon until they saw a boy at the back of the house hugging a girl on the side while drinking a beer and laughing at something another guy next to him was saying.

“Heeseung.” Jake smiled and reached out to grab Hesseung's hand, pulling him into a light one-armed hug. “Sup Jake my king.” Heeseung's eyes checked you out “And who's this?” He smiled as if you were an interesting novelty.

“The newbie that won the race today.” Jake replied by putting his arm around your shoulders. The scent of Jake’s cologne invaded your senses “It was really surprising.”

“She won one race and you already invited her to our space?” Heeseung's tone had a hint of criticism mixed with interest “That must have been a hell of a race.”

“Yeah, it was. Gotta respect the newbie.” Sunghoon commented enthusiastically and you gave Heeseung a sarcastic smile “Next time you can watch me race and draw your own conclusions.”

The boys around laughed and Heeseung smirked “Yeah, I'll definitely come.” He held out his hand and you shook it “I'm Heeseung, you can count on me if you need any urgent repairs.” He said obviously looking at your legs as if there wasn't a girl next to him glaring at him “I'm Y/N.” You let go of the boy's hand and Jake turned you to introduce the other boys.

“You’ve already met Ni-ki ” He smiled with a wink that amused you “This is Sunghoon, he’s like my brother and helps organize the races.” The tall boy smiled taking your hand “Yeah, I figured it.”

“This is Jihoon.” Jake pointed to the boy next to Heeseung who seemed quiet and gave you a shy smile.

“This is Jungwon. He was our last newbie before you.” Jungwon smiled gently, “Hey.” His soft voice contrasting with his strong personality from the race amused you “You were amazing back there.” You gave Ni-ki a quick glance “I almost thought you were going to take 2nd place from Ni-ki.”

“Hey, I wouldn't let him take my place that easily.” Ni-ki defended himself and Jungwon sighed “Yeah, now I have to repair my car.”

“Tell me about it.” You smiled. “I’ll have to use the money I earned to repair the front of my car that hit Ni-ki’s car.”

“You can come to my garage, we repair our cars there.” Jake said making you think that was actually a great idea.

“Alright.” You gave a small smile before Jake’s phone rang and he looked at the screen and gentle smiled as his eyes softened “I have to get this, I’ll be right back.” As you watched him walk away to a quieter spot, Sunghoon offered you a drink “For you, the winner of the night.”

You knew drinking and driving wasn't good, but under these circumstances it would be suspicious if you didn't accept it. "Thanks." You took the bottle and clinked it with the other boys there.

As the loud music played, in the meantime you noticed that Jihoon didn't say much and just watched you with a strange look that you pretended not to notice. The boy soon left while you talked with Sunghoon, Ni-ki, Jungwon and Heeseung.

While you were talking, you discovered that Jungwon was the son of the owner of the auto parts store you were hired to work at, blowing everyone's minds. You also observed the movement around you, trying to see if you could find any clues or something suspicious, but most of it was just young adults drinking, talking, and flirting with each other.

“I'm going to the bathroom." You excused yourself and looked at everything. Nothing suspicious for now.

☆

After Jake hung up the phone he grabbed a drink and walked around the house greeting people, but he bumped into you coming out of the bathroom making him grab your shoulders. “Oh- sorry babe, I didn't see ya.” He smiled and you nodded “Okay.”

He gave you a mysterious look, noticing that you looked a little tired. “Do you want to go somewhere more private?” You looked at him in surprise and he smiled, putting his hands in his pocket. “I think you need some air.”

“Sure.” You smiled, following him to the balcony of Sunghoon’s house.

Sitting on the bench outside, the music from inside the house was muffled and you observed that Jake seemed calm. At the moment you decided you would enjoy any kind of interaction you had with him.

“So, are you enjoying the party?” He asked, looking at your features “Yeah, everyone is super nice and the drinks are good.” You took a sip of your drink, feeling a little sleepy since it was already past midnight.

“They are.” Jake sighed “Our races only work because everyone helps in their own way, you know?” You nodded and looked at him “And when will I see you race?” Jake smiled sideways, running his hand through his blond locks “Soon.” His eyes remained on yours “I’m missing making some people eat dust.” You laughed, clinking your bottles in a toast “Yeah, I get that.”

During the conversation, a part of you realized that Jake was mysterious, but at the same time, he had a natural magnetism that attracted people. Until the end of the night, you internally wished that the days would pass quickly because you wanted to see Jake in a real race.

You wanted to see the king in action.

Some random rap music played in the background of the store where you worked. Yang's Auto Parts store was one of the landmarks in the area, but today the movement seemed slow. As you leaned on the main counter, you were studying information about car engines and their differences in a specialized car magazine when you heard the sound of the door opening.

“Hello, may I help-” You looked up and saw Jake standing in front of you “you.” The smile he gave you certainly cheered you up more than it should have “Sup newbie.” He leaned over in the counter and you straightened up listening to his heavenly voice “A little bird told me that this store had the best pieces and the best attendant in town.”

Your eyes met Jake's dark ones and you smiled "You're right.” Closing the magazine, you turned to him “Tell me, how can I help you king?”

Jake gave you an airy laugh, placing both arms on the counter. “I need to place an order for some nitrous oxide bottles, a bumper for a Mitsubishi Eclipse model, and-” His face softened “invite you to a race, this weekend, if you're interested.” Your eyes widened and you stepped closer to the counter. “Yeah, count me in.” Jake scanned your lips briefly before returning his attention to your eyes “Great, give me your contact and I'll send the details.” He handed you his phone so you could save his number, and you felt a rush of euphoria at the realization that you had Jake's number and that you were finally going to see him race.

“Also, don't forget my order.” He chuckled getting his phone back “I need it in 2 days, max.” You accessed the store's computer preparing his order “Don't worry, you're going home today with these pieces.” You turned the monitor showing that what he wanted was in stock “Guess you're lucky.” He smiled before pulling a wad of cash from his pocket to pay “Maybe.”

You took the money, feeling his fingertips touch yours, making you a little nervous. 'I'm still getting used to his presence, it's nothing big.' You thought, putting the money in the cash register and going to the warehouse to get the parts he asked for.

Jake helped you with the heavy bumper putting on his red truck. After delivering everything he needed, he turned to you and smiled before saying goodbye.

“You have an eyelash here, babe.” His thumb gently touched your cheek as if he was wiping something there making your heart drop to your stomach “See you soon, newbie.”

“See ya.” He got into the truck and left, while you felt the place he touched burn.

'It's no big deal.' You mentally repeated it and returned to your workstation.

You felt like your prayers were quickly answered when you arrived at the location Jake had sent you on your phone. Unlike other races, the chosen place for tonight's race was a dirt road with cars that you could easily recognize even from afar.

The place was completely different from what your expected, looking more like a country street. The lighting was poor and the road didn't look as good, but oddly enough there seemed to be more people there than when you ran in the city. You parked next to Jungwon's car knowing that this was all because of Jake. Today he was going to run.

“Look who's here.” Sunghoon announced your arrival “Our favorite newbie.” Jake who was next to Sunghoon smiled seeing how excited you looked “I wouldn't miss this for anything.” Your gaze met Jake's “Finally I'll see the king race with my own eyes.”

“I hope I live up to your expectations, babe.” He replied and you noticed how much more casual he was that night. He wore a simple black shirt, a silver chain, and dark jeans. But he still managed to look stunning.

In all honesty, his friends looked fine too, but Jake was a different breed. He was the type of man who turned heads without even trying.

“Heyy, Y/N.” Ni-ki greeted you with a smile on his face “Glad you came.”

You gave the boy a side hug that ended up becoming closer to you than you imagined. Ni-ki was like your little brother. “Sup little bro, of course I would.”

“Sunghoon, help me with the police scanners!” Heeseung shouted from afar inside a car, adjusting a metal device. Sunghoon grunted lightly, but he knew it was necessary. “Alright.”

As the boy walked to Heeseung, you turned to Jake with a curious expression “Why did you choose this dirt road and not the asphalt?”

Ni-ki smiled and nudged you with his elbow “A race on dirt is where we have a better view of the drift.” Jake looked at you “And it’s also harder for anyone, including me.” He replied and you nodded “So that means it’ll be fun.”

“Exactly.” Ni-ki looked excited “Where do I sign?” You showed the small wad of money “Now I can bet this time.”

Jake gently took the money from your hand and smiled “Let me show you what I can do, newbie.”

☆

As you stood in line, you noticed how wide the street was. 3 cars were lined up on your right side, while Jake on your left was looking at you with a confident look that made you question what he was going to show you.

“Try not to eat too much dust, newbie.” He yelled out the window and you rolled your eyes with an airy laugh “hm, I don't know king, should I go after your crown?” Your response made Jake wet his lower lip with his tongue “You can try babe.” He smiled and turned to face the front of the street.

His profile was as hot as his green Mitsubishi Eclipse.

“Finally, racers be ready.” A girl in the middle raised the flags making the crowd scream while you felt butterflies in your stomach. “Set.”

'It's the same procedure, calm down and let everything flow.' Your thoughts tried to keep your focus in this moment of tension.

“Go!” The flags lowered and the cars sped off at a speed that raised enough dust to give anyone there a runny nose.

Sunghoon had taken the lead, but Jake soon caught up to him, passing diagonally in front of the cars, moving his wheels slightly, purposefully throwing dust onto the front windows of the cars. You quickly turned on the windshield, trying to regain your vision while closing the windows trying to not inhale any more dust.

“Son of a bitch.” Sunghoon cursed, dodging the dust and staying next to him. You were right behind, followed by Jungwon who zigzagged to make the view of the girl behind him worse.

Your mind was a mess and your senses were on edge. Jake was so much better than you expected, but you wouldn't give up.

You thought about using your NOS, but you still had a long way to go and didn't want to miss the opportunity to use it at the right time. While you were struggling, Jake was the first to use it, pressing the button near his gearshift, putting him even further ahead.

“You're not alone, bro.” Sunghoon activated his, standing side by side with Jake who continued accelerating without looking back.

Unexpectedly, Jake ended up going over a pothole that he couldn't see, causing the car to spin slightly. You activated your NOS and smiled as you felt a twist, but soon your smile fell when you saw that Jake had turned the car perfectly in 180 degrees and put it in reverse at an impressive speed. He was face to face with you while he was driving backwards as if it were completely normal.

At that moment you swore you felt time stop. As if everything was happening in slow motion, you saw Jake bite his lower lip containing a smile that was escaping, showing his white teeth and his blond locks perfectly messed up by the wind. He looked at you so deeply that for a moment you forgot you were running against him and you felt your heart race and butterflies invade your stomach, not because of the adrenaline, but because of the sight of Jake in front of you.

He was like an angel.

With a wink he looked back and activated his last NOS and distanced himself turning the car again, taking the lead leaving you speechless.

“Show off.” Sunghoon mumbled as he lost his position of 2nd place after Jungwon hit the back of his car and you activated your NOS, taking his place.

On the last turn Jake pulled off his perfect drift, an angle that had the crowd screaming wildly. You turned and accelerated, setting up your last NOS for the grand finale.

You paired your car with Jake's and activated your NOS, being able to see him through your window. He looked at you and smiled, pressing down on his accelerator. Before you could think, you saw your car lose power slightly and the front of Jake's car passed the finish line in one shot.

☆

You got out of the car seeing Jake being pampered with applauses and deafening screams. You approached laughing at the scene and he looked at you running his hand through his hair “Why are you laughing?” You smirked “Dude, I almost had you.” You pointed at him and the crowd laughed at your excitement.

“You lost and you still smile like that?” He smiled and turned to the crowd, raising his arms. “Even if it’s just for a few seconds, the real winner is the one who comes in first.” Everyone applauded and whistled, agreeing with Jake’s statement.

“You're right.” You approached Jake smiling sincerely “You won fairly, you deserved it.”

He stared at you for a brief second holding back a smile “Thanks, newbie.”

Before you could respond, the entire crowd surrounded Jake and the other contestants, wanting to celebrate his iconic victory. You turned around laughing but noticed something strange.

From afar, you saw Heeseung in Sunghoon's car make an apprehensive face, looking around as if he was afraid of something. He approached the police scanner and his eyes widened. He looked around with unusual hesitation and you felt anxiety take over you. Heeseung heard something suspicious on the radio and was taking too long to report it.

As if you could predict the future, you turned to Jake, but in a brief second Heeseung's voice came through the small radios that were in the cars. “COPS! RUN!”

The crowd crushed Jake and dispersed in a general confusion. “Shit!” You got into your car desperately, knowing that you couldn’t get caught by the police, or everything would go down the drain.

Looking back you saw everyone speeding away like crazy, but your eyes fell on Jake who was running on foot. Confusion crossed your gaze when you saw that his car was not there, and he was alone.

From afar you heard the sound of police car sirens and small red lights appearing in the dark night. You turned the car and accelerated towards Jake.

He looked to the side and saw you yell out the window “JAKE!” Concern written all over your face “GET IN!” He opened the passenger side door and jumped into your car before you started the car and drove off into the middle of the road.

Your anxiety increased significantly when you looked in the rearview mirror and saw that a police car was following you. “We need to lose them.” Jake felt his heart jump out of his chest as he watched you dodge the cars along the way.

“I know a shortcut.” He said and you nodded, waiting for his directions “Take the next alley on the right.” You turned the car around, slowing down the police, but they were still following you “Now turn left.”

You came to a crossroads with a traffic light in the middle. You looked and saw that it was yellow and would soon turn red. Jake looked at you as if you had the same idea.

“Smoke them.” He looked at you with that naughty smile that messed with your insides “Make them eat dust.” You smirked and stepped on the accelerator.

In less than a second you felt your heart stop when the light turned red and you crossed between the cars. The car jumped slightly with the speed and the unevenness of the lanes and Jake ended up hitting his temple on the window glass with the impact of the car on the ground.

The police car was left behind after accidentally hitting a car.

“WOOOOOOOOOH.” You screamed feeling the adrenaline hit your faces “LET'S GOOO BABE!” Jake started laughing at your excitement and felt more relieved before he realized his temple was bleeding “Shit, you're bleeding Jake.” The intonation of your voice conveyed your concern.

He touched his face and saw the blood on his fingertips before wiping it on the fabric of his pants. “It's fine, it's not that serious.” He sighed and sank back into the seat “No, Jake, I won't let you bleed. We need to care of that.” Jake watched you as you tried to locate the street you were on.

“Let's go to my house, then.” Jake said closing his eyes quickly and you swallowed hard “Alright, show me the way.” He nodded and you felt nervous because you knew you would be completely alone with him.

☆

Jake's house was smaller than you expected, but it was still big. The garage he worked in was right next door, in a shared building. You got out of the car feeling a wave of relief wash over you knowing you both were out of jail.

Jake opened the door waiting for you to come in “Ladies first.” He smiled and you touched his arm lightly “Thank you.”

His living room was simple but cozy. The slightly worn beige couch, the pictures of family and friends hanging on the walls, and the medium-sized TV adorned the space. “Make yourself home.” He smiled as you sat on the couch.

He picked up his phone and saw that he hadn't received any calls or messages from the boys making him worry about them. "Where's the first aid kit?" Your question took Jake's attention away from his phone and he turned to you "It's in the garage." He looked at you for a second "Come with me, there's something I want to show you."

You got up and followed Jake to the garage where he kept his cars and some materials.

On top of a cabinet Jake took out the box that had the first aid kit and everything he would need. He placed the box on top of a small table that was in the corner before turning to a car that was covered by a huge sheet and taking it out.

"First, I wanna show you this." He revealed a beautiful black impala 67 "My baby."

Your eyes widened at the sight of the beautiful car. Your fingers touched the shiny material of the hood hesitantly as you looked at every detail carefully.

"It was my father's." He blurted out "It's our greatest treasure."

You looked at Jake in confusion. "Our?"

He smiled, sliding his palm along the side of the car "Mine and my brother Sunoo's." Jake smiled, noticing the surprised expression on your face "He doesn't live here because he's in college, but we always talk."

"That's amazing. Do you ever think about racing with it?" He laughed bitterly at the question "No. It's a relic I want to keep because my father raced with it." His voice cracked a little and you noticed "He was a professional stock car racer, but unfortunately he passed away."

Your heart sank at Jake's revelation. His story was way deeper than you imagined.

"I’m sorry... I had no idea." You walked closer to Jake, lightly touching his forearm "He must have been an amazing racer."

"He was." He sighed, placing the cloth back on top of the car "I used to watch him from the stands with such pride, but one day he had a heart attack while maneuvering the car and ended up having a fatal accident."

He ran his hand through his hair before looking at you. "At the end, besides his love for cars, he left some possessions and some life lessons for me and Sunoo." You followed him to the small table and sat down next to him. "Sunoo was too young to remember everything, but I remember it like it was yesterday."

He was silent for a moment, and you opened the box, taking out a cotton ball, medicine and a band-aid. "You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to." He shook his head negatively "It's fine, I want to."

You nodded and looked into his eyes that seemed completely raw. As if there was no layer of "king" or the confident guy that made everyone attracted to him.

It was just Jake. An ordinary guy with dreams, disappointments and his own story.

"I still haven't thanked you for saving me from jail." You smiled at his comical tone "Thank you very much." He spoke sincerely, placing his hand over your knee and looking into your eyes. You held his chin and turned his face slightly to the right, looking at his injured temple. The blood had already dried on his skin.

"It was nothing." With your right hand, you held Jake's left cheek, stabilizing his face while you cleaned his skin with the cotton "It's like you always appear at the right time, like a guardian angel."

You gave him a hearty laugh as you finished cleaning his face and applied the medicine to the wound.

"I don't know if I'm a guardian angel, seeing as I almost stole your 'crown' today." He smiled mischievously and you felt your insides turn at his close proximity. His soft skin on your palm, his gaze fixed on yours and his messy hair were all too much for your heart. "I think you need to practice a little more before you try that." He said humorously and you smiled, putting the band-aid on him "Yeah, you're probably right."

Jake looked deep into your eyes while he brushed some strands of your hair away from your face. His right hand cupped the skin of your cheek making your body go completely rigid. "You're so pretty." He whispered suddenly and you felt your entire body heat up and your heart melt at his deep voice.

You swallowed hard as he glanced between your eyes and your mouth. Your stomach turned completely when he brought his face closer and you smelled his perfume. Jake swore he felt something inside him burn when you nestled lightly into his palm, your bright eyes staring so deeply into his. His mind filled with forbidden thoughts.

His warm breath fanned your face as he brought his face closer to yours, his lips almost brushing against yours.

"Jake, you there?" Sunghoon's worried voice cut through the air, making you and Jake quickly step away.

"Yes, Sunghoon." He spoke in a harsh tone "Where have you been?" You put your hand to your heart, feeling it beating extremely fast.

Sunghoon appeared in front of you, panting a little, placing his hand on his chest. "Bro, I'm so sorry." Jake looked at him clearly irritated "Sunghoon you took my car and I almost got arrested." He got up from the chair in an indignant tone "If it weren't for Y/N I would be behind bars right now." Jake pulled Sunghoon by the collar and he widened his eyes.

"Bro, Heeseung took my car and the police was right behind me, I didn't have a choice. If I stayed there I would be freaking arrested on the spot." He melancholic looked at Jake "Man I'm really sorry, I promise I'll make it up to you." Sunghoon looked desperate and Jake sighed letting his best friend out of his grip "I swear, anything you ask I'll do it."

Jake pinched the top bridge of his nose and closed his eyes briefly. "It's alright, Sunghoon. At least we're all okay." Sunghoon nodded his head and looked at you "Thanks Y/N for saving Jake's ass today."

You smiled and nodded "No problem." The boy then stopped and looked at you and Jake realizing that he probably messed up the mood. Embarrassed, Sunghoon scratched the back of his neck and smiled, "Sooo, I think I'll go to the bathroom, you guys can continue talking." He threw the car keys to Jake who caught them midair.

You stood up, your cheeks hot from the atmosphere that had set in. "It's okay, I need to go now." Jake saw how nervous you looked and approached you "Are you sure? Aren't you hungry or anything?"

You shook your head, putting your hands behind you "No, it's okay. I have to leave anyway; I have to wake up early tomorrow to take care of some things." Jake smirked seeing you smile gently "I'll walk you out."

You just nodded and said goodbye to Sunghoon, who returned the gesture.

The walk back was silent until you got into your car. "Be safe." Jake said leaning on your window. "Of course." You gave Jake a smile and he returned it "Bye, babe. " He whispered before making room for you to drive away.

You waved back at him before speeding up your car and driving away, the affectionate way he spoke echoing in your mind.

'Babe.'

“So, any progress?” Jay’s voice coming through the video call on your computer made you sigh. “Yeah, I’ve identified a suspect, he was acting strange in the last race.”

You leaned your back against the armchair you were sitting in at home.

While undercover, you and Jay have decided not to meet in person for a while, catching up with each other through regular video calls on ghost accounts so you can communicate safely.

“What about the leader? Any clues about him?” He asked and you felt your heart tighten slightly “Nothing. He hasn’t given any sign that he’s involved in this so far. Totally clean.”

Jay nodded, placing the box of noodles he was eating on his desk. “And this new suspect, what do you think?”

You turned your head to the side slightly “He certainly could have warned about the police much earlier, but he held back, as if he was thinking about something, but I could be wrong.” Jay saw how uncertain you seemed about the situation “To be sure I need more days to dig deeper.”

“Okay, but also pay close attention to this Jake and his friends. He might be involved and be good at hiding it.” Jay commented and you nodded “I really don’t think he’s involved, but I’ll check.” Jay’s eyebrows raised slightly at the way you talked about Jake, but he decided not to comment on it.

“Great. I’ll talk to you in a few days.” He ended the call and you sighed, closing the lid of your laptop.

☆

Jake was just finishing checking his engine's nitrous oxide direct drive when Jihoon walked into the shop with a grin from ear to ear.

"Hey man, it's looking nice." Jihoon looked at the engine and Jake looked at his friend with a side smile "I still need to improve some things, but it's looking good."

Jake looked at Jihoon who seemed strangely excited about something. "What's wrong?" Jake wiped his hands on a cloth he had next to him "You seem to be in a good mood today."

"Let's talk privately." Jihoon squeezed Jake's shoulder as he left the tools in the box below the car.

Jake followed Jihoon into a small room at the back, closing the door behind him.

"So? Why are you acting so mysterious?" Jake asked Jihoon, leaning against the table in the room.

Jihoon took a transparent package out of his pocket filled with small, circular pills of various colors. "I found the easiest way for us to get money."

Jake frowned at the sight of the package recognizing what it was "Jihoon, I already told you I don't want this shit around here, much less in our races."

Jihoon air laughed "The way you talk almost makes me believe you are a prude."

"I ain't no saint." Jake got up "But you know this shit is serious. It's destroying races and the drivers are getting sick. Some are dead, what are you thinking?" Jake's heart raced with the frustration of not recognizing his own friend in front of him. "Innocent people are dying because of this, Jihoon."

Jihoon felt his body tremble with anger.

"You know what Jake? You're so full of shit." Jihoon exploded and pointed his finger at Jake's face "You're not my boss to order me around like I'm your little dog." Jake pulled Jihoon by the collar "I'm not your boss, but as your friend I'm warning you." He looked right into Jihoon's eyes "If I see you around our races with this shit I'm gonna break your face."

Jihoon grabbed Jake's hands and broke free from his grip. "You are not as important as you think." he smiled mockingly "At the end of the day you are just a deluded idiot with an imaginary crown that can be stolen at any moment." He pointed at Jake "You aren't your father."

Jake punched Jihoon's face, making his back hit the white wall behind him. The boy flinched and touched the side of his lips feeling the blood drip from the bruise there.

"Don't bring my father into this." Jake was furious "If you think I race just for an imaginary crown then you don't know me at all."

"Fine." Jihoon scoffed at Jake "From now on I'll do my own stuff, you don't own me." He stared at Jake laughing bitterly "Let's see until how long you can protect your little races, King." Jihoon left the room, slamming the door as hard as he could, leaving Jake there alone.

After a few long minutes, Jake leaves the room and from afar sees you approaching in a white dress that completely messed with his mind. That air of natural beauty that you exuded was one of the things that made Jake want to ruin you with the touch of his hands.

“Did I arrive at a bad time?” You smiled with your arms behind you as if you hadn’t just heard the shocking argument between him and Jihoon and he gave a relieved smile shaking his head “At the right time, actually.” You couldn’t help but look at his arms that were exposed because of the black tank top he was wearing. How the veins on his forearm were visible, his striking shoulders and collarbone being adorned by his gold chain.

“So, what can I help you with?” He twirled a silver ring on his finger as he approached “I brought my car for you to take a look at.” With a clearing of your throat, you pointed to your pink car. “I haven’t had it serviced since the last race.”

Jake looked at the car behind you “And a little bird told me that you are the best mechanic in town.” You said in a mischievous tone, referring to what he had said when he visited you at work and Jake smiled holding your hip delicately. His hand applied perfect pressure to the spot.

“And the little bird is correct.” His eyes lingered on your figure for a few seconds before he released your hip and walked towards your car “Let’s see how your car’s engine is doing, princess.”

The way the nickname rolled off his tongue so naturally made your body fizz. The fact that you’d gotten used to always expecting something new in every interaction you had with Jake made you wonder how close you’d become without realizing it. Maybe the coexistence and conversations over the last few weeks had made you create a greater and unexpected bond with Jake, because you could no longer imagine what it was like to go a day without interacting with him.

He opened the hood of the car and leaned forward slightly to observe the machine. You stood next to him, analyzing every action and how his skin seemed even more radiant due to the orange color of the sun beginning to set. The way some blond locks fell in front of his face, adorning his drawn profile, made you a little nervous.

Unlike what you’d heard, Jake was alone in his garage. Normally, he would be with Sunghoon and Ni-ki working on something, but today he was there at your disposal. Your mind tried to remind you that you were on a mission, that it was just a job, but when you saw the way he smiled at you nothing else seemed to matter.

“You're actually really good at this.” Your eyes watched as Jake's hands meticulously analyzed your engine. “Have you ever thought about specializing?”

“In the past, I wanted to be an engineer or work at the stock car,” Jake confessed, wiping his hands with a rag he had hanging from his pocket, “but I decided to prioritize Sunoo’s dream.” You felt your heart tighten as you realized that Jake gave up things daily for the well-being of his family. “That’s how I started racing years ago, to make more money so I could pay for my brother’s college.” He laughed “But Sunoo is so smart that he got a full scholarship, so I help him with other expenses.”

Jake noticed how you looked at him with an indescribable tenderness in your eyes “Maybe after your brother graduates you can try.” Your hand instinctively brushed a strand of hair that fell in front of his eye “You have a lot of talent, it's never too late to start.”

His hands went straight to your hips, pulling you towards him. His face looked at you with such a specific desire that it was mesmerizing. “It’s okay, I already have everything I want.” He replied, staring into your doe eyes “I mean, almost everything.”

You felt butterflies in your stomach at the way he spoke, looking straight into your eyes. He could have been talking about anything, but internally you hoped he was referring to you.

“And my car?” You asked, swallowing hard “It’s great, in perfect condition.” He smiled and let go of you to close the hood of your car. “Don’t worry, your next race is guaranteed.”

You laughed and crossed your arms. “Okay, so how can I pay you for the service?” Jake’s eyes widened in surprise. He hadn’t expected that question, especially since he used to look at his friends’ cars without any financial return.

“I have an idea.” He smirked and walked past you. “Follow me.”

The fact that you simply accepted his suggestion and followed him even though you didn't know what he was going to suggest made a feeling of pride take over his body. That blind trust you had in him, as if you had no fear of approaching him, drove him crazy.

Jake opened the back door of his garage and you were faced with the backyard behind his house. There was a medium pool next to some plastic tables and chairs. You curiously saw Jake give you a mischievous smile as he took off his dark boots.

"It's so hot today." Jake's hands went straight to the belt of his pants, starting to undo it and you felt your heartbeat quicken at his actions "Let's cool off a little."

You couldn't answer. You were paralyzed by the sight of Jake taking off his shirt and then his pants, placing them on the floor near the edge of the pool and then jumping straight into the water.

"Aren't you coming?" He ran his hand through his wet hair and you shook your head, trying to keep your thoughts sane.

You just saw Jake in just his black underwear so you didn't know how to act after that.

With a few slow steps, you silently approached the edge of the pool and sat there, watching Jake swim without taking his eyes off you. You felt the cold floor beneath your legs as your feet got wet slightly. The water was a little cold, considering it was already early evening and the stars were starting to appear in the sky.

Jake swam closer to where you were, giving you a smile that he knew would knock you over "Suddenly you became so quiet." You gave him an embarrassed smile "I was just watching you." Your feet kicked lightly in the water "It looks like you're having fun."

"I am," He positioned himself between your legs and stood up, "but it would be better if you came to the water." You shook your head as he ran his hand through his perfectly messy wet blond hair. "Why not?" He asked looking at you with the most beautiful eyes in the world "I don't have a bathing suit." Jake's hands touched the skin of your legs, just above your knees, causing you to shiver instantly. He looked at you with a pleading look, as if he knew he could win you over with this.

"You don't need one." he whispered, running his hands up your legs. The angle of your vision was almost torturous, seeing how beautiful he looked beneath your eyes. His wet hair, the line of his shoulders, his sculpted mouth, and those eyes... the eyes of someone who wanted more than just a swim "Just take off your dress."

The butterflies that invaded your stomach were so many that you felt your breath catch in your throat. You couldn't say anything, you just looked at him as you felt his fingers squeezing your thighs, pulling them towards him.

He tilted his head slightly to the side as if he was waiting for your answer. You knew this was going too far, but you didn’t care. Not when Jake stood in front of you, dripping wet and with a look of desire that made your skin burn.

In an unexpected act, you decided to give in to your inner desires and your fingers traveled to the hem of your dress. Little by little you began to take off your dress, making Jake feel all his rationality disappeared as he analyzed your body. The way you took the dress over your head was torturously slow, but the view of your waist and your white lingerie made up for all the delay. You placed the dress behind you, close to Jake's clothes, so it wouldn't get wet. Jake felt his heart race as he watched you turn your face and gently step into the pool, not wanting to splash too much water.

Jake's hands gripped the edge of the pool, trapping you within the space of his arms. He was so close you couldn't think.

You started to feel conscious, seeing that you were in lingerie in a pool and consequently Jake could see your skin. For him, this was like a dream. The girl who suddenly appeared in his world and managed to mess with him, was now in front of him, half naked and with an expression that was driving him crazy.

It was impossible to resist.

Jake's right hand went towards your chin. With all the delicacy in the world he held your chin with his thumb and index finger and lifted it slightly, looking into your eyes. "Is it cold?" He asked and you shook your head. Your hair wasn't completely wet yet and he wanted to touch it so bad, to intertwine his hands in your strands and pull them back so he could get lost in your neck.

Your body collapsed as he stepped closer and his hand turned, pulling your jaw closer to his face. He stared at your little pout, the red of your cheeks and your bright eyes and there he knew how much he wanted to ruin you.

"Can I?" He asked quietly. His voice was filled with a raw feeling that made your legs feel weak "Y-Yes." You replied in a whisper and closed your eyes when you felt his soft lips touch yours.

If there was any part of you that was down to earth, it no longer existed at that moment.

Jake pulled your face tightly, enveloping your lips with his soft mouth in a slow kiss. After waiting so long for this moment, his lips moved slowly as if he wanted to enjoy every second, taking all the time in the world.

Your back hit the wall of the pool as he pressed his body against yours. His left hand went into the water, holding your waist, while his right hand grabbed the corner of your neck, pulling you towards him. You started to pant, feeling all the stimuli at once.

Your breath hitched as you felt his tongue slowly wet your lower lip, his teeth pulling at the skin there. Your arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him towards you, making Jake groan into your mouth feeling the strands of his hair between your knuckles.

He smiled into the kiss, his right hand moving up to your jaw, his fingers on the corner of your jaw while his thumb slid between your bottom lip and your chin, pushing the spot so that you opened your mouth slightly. “Open up for me, princess.” He whispered desperately against your lips, his breath mingling with yours.

You felt your legs lose strength when you felt his tongue inside your mouth. What was once a slow kiss, became a desperate kiss as if he couldn't contain himself. Your moans were swallowed by Jake's mouth who kissed you as if he wanted to devour you.

His hands roamed your body as you pulled his face towards you. He looked even more handsome like this face-to-face. All his features were perfectly proportional.

Jake moved his right hand to the back of your hair, which was loose and slightly damp from the water in his hand. You felt a shiver run down your spine as he grabbed the strands and pulled them back with moderate force. He trailed kisses down your jaw to your exposed neck.

“Wanna taste you.” He whispered huskily into your neck as he peppered kisses across the area, his teeth sinking into your skin making you gasp.

“Jake.” You whispered his name feeling his left hand lower the strap of your white bra, his hand traveling down your torso “Yeah, say my name babe.” He said before kissing you desperately.

Personally, Jake couldn't remember the last time he felt this desperate. He wanted to have you close in a supernatural way, as if that wasn't enough. Jake wanted to touch you everywhere he could, taste you, make you come undone for him.

When his hands reached your hips, wanting to lower the fabric of your lingerie, his phone that was on top of his pants started to ring loudly. Jake stopped his movements and very reluctantly pulled away from your mouth.

You couldn't even think straight when he reached out to see who was calling him at such a crucial time. Jake looked at his own phone screen and saw that it was his brother.

He clicked his tongue and looked at you quickly. His mouth and cheeks were red and his hair was messy. He looked so hot wrecked like this.

“I'm sorry princess, it's my brother.” He sighed, running his hand through his hair “I gotta take this, please wait a bit.” He walked away and got out of the pool so he could talk to Sunoo and make you more comfortable.

You were freaking out. Internally you couldn't comprehend what had just happened. Jake was driving you crazy, that was obvious, but the fact that the desire you felt while kissing him was beyond comprehension showed that this had gone too far. What you felt was real, it wasn't pretend.

You had feelings for Jake.

From afar, Jake answered his phone, trying not to remember how completely surrendered you were to him seconds ago.

“Sunoo, you kind of called at a bad time.” He sighed and the boy laughed on the other end of the line “Aww sorry big bro, were you with someone?”

“Yes.” Jake rolled his eyes answering honestly as he watched you in the pool from afar. “Sorry for disturbing you and y/n, but I have good news.” Jake’s eyes widened when he heard your name “How do you know it’s her?” Sunoo’s cute laugh warmed Jake’s ear “It’s obvious that it’s her. The amount of times you’ve talked about her has already made me memorize her name.”

Jake gave an airy laugh “So? Why did you call?” Sunoo sounded excited “Just wanted to let you know that I'm going home for the holidays.” Jake smiled happy with the news “That's great, bro! You know how we've been missing you.” Sunoo sighed happily “Yeah, I miss you guys too. Now you can go, I don't want to take up any more of your time.” The boy felt relieved that it was nothing serious “And don't forget to take good care of my sister-in-law.”

Jake felt his cheeks flush at the comment “Okay, bye little bro.” He gave an awkward smile and said goodbye to his brother before turning to you, who had put your dress back on and was walking towards him.

“Where are you going?” Jake asked feeling like a loser as he really didn’t want you to leave.

“It was getting cold so I got out of the pool.” You smiled, feeling embarrassed. Jake saw how damp your dress was and how cold you looked. There were no towels near the pool so you probably just pulled the dress over your wet body.

“You’re not leaving wet like that.” He said seriously, but you felt your cheeks heat up at his comment “The car seat will get wet and you might get sick. Come to my room and I’ll lend you some clothes so you can dry off.”

He looked at you worriedly, completely forgetting that he was only wearing his boxers and you nodded, fixing your hair. “Okay.”

☆

The walk to Jake's room was silent, you didn't know what to say and Jake was trying to contain himself because he was happier than usual about what had happened in the pool.

He opened a drawer in his closet and pulled out a pair of sweatpants and a sweatshirt along with a towel so you could dry off. “The bathroom is over there.” He pointed to the suite bathroom in his room and you went there to change.

While you were changing, he put on another pair of pants while lost in thought. He sat on his own bed and scratched the back of his neck thinking about how you were there, changing, in his bathroom, inside his room. You were alone and he couldn't stop thinking about the different scenarios he would like to play out at that moment.

Jake knew that the forbidden thoughts he was having were probably much more than a simple carnal and biological desire. Ever since he met you, he felt captivated by your presence and energy, and even though he tried to hold it back, every time you were in the same room, Jake couldn't help the feelings that invaded his interior.

He touched his mouth with his fingers remembering how minutes ago you were kissing and he smiled thinking how he wanted to do that again. How he wanted to touch you again and see what new features you would reveal to him.

When you came out of his bathroom wearing his clothes, holding your dress tangled with your lingerie, he felt his whole body go rigid. “Thank you, Jake.” He stood up and looked at you while you tried not to stare at his exposed abs.

“It’s nothing.” He swallowed hard, bringing his right hand to your cheek. “Y/N, can I say something?” You looked at him and nodded “Yeah, sure.”

He debated for a moment about what to say, as if he was afraid of your reaction if he confessed what he really wanted. “Don't go.” He pulled you by the waist, looking into your eyes “Stay with me.” He whispered and you gripped your clothes tighter.

You knew what this meant and honestly were aware that if you crossed this line there was no going back. It was obvious that you were more involved with Jake than you should have been, considering that your job was just to get close enough to find out what you needed, but you were starting to get attached to Jake's presence and it was messing with your convictions.

Despite your inner moral dilemma, you couldn't think of anything else when you saw Jake in front of you looking at you like that. You couldn't say a word, so you just kissed him as your answer. He instantly pulled you making you drop your clothes on the floor.

Something about seeing you in his clothes triggered something in him so Jake grabbed you by your thighs, pulling your body up and laying you down on his bed. Your back felt Jake's soft mattress and you buried your fingers in his hair as his torso hovered over you.

Like a dream come true, he buried his face in your neck, getting lost in the scent of your perfume. His hands explored your skin beneath the sweatshirt he had given you, making your breath hitch.

“Damn, you're so pretty,” He kissed the length of your neck as he lifted your shirt slightly “so hot.” His lips slid down your abdomen as he held the corners of your hips.

You were convinced that no experience and nothing on this earth surpassed the feeling of feeling Jake's mouth drawn on your skin.

When he slightly pulled down the sweatpants you were wearing he remembered that you weren't wearing your white lingerie anymore. The fact that you weren't wearing anything underneath his clothes made Jake lose his mind.

On the other hand, you felt more self-conscious seeing how he was between your legs and debating whether he should do what was on his mind.

As if he was reading your mind, he looked at you and approached you smiling “Are you wearing something underneath this?” He smirked as he squeezed your thigh over your pants “N-No.” You replied swallowing dryly making him bite his own lip as he confirmed his suspicions.

“Shit.” He said in your ear “There's so many things I wanna do to you.” You moaned as you felt him bite your ear and kiss the skin beneath your earlobe while his right hand explored your body beneath your shirt.

His lips hovered over yours again “Then do it.” You replied making him grunt into your mouth before kissing you desperately “I will princess.” His torso brushed against your pants sending electrifying chills throughout your body.

He pulled away for a moment and got on his knees between your legs as you watched his every action. He smiled when he saw you staring at him shamelessly.

“Like what you see?” He teased you watching as you followed his hands taking off his own pants and throwing them anywhere, leaving only his black boxers “Yeah.” You whispered and he felt his rationality break with your answer “Yeah?” The sensual tone of his voice made you needy. He licked your lower lip as he grabbed the hem of your pants to take them off “Babe, lift your hips for me.” You obeyed his command as he spoke over your lips “I want to see you.”

Jake loved how you obeyed him instantly. He wanted to know how far you would go to do whatever he asked, especially when his mind had so many ideas of what to do.

After taking off his pants he went straight to your shirt to take it off as well. “You're gorgeous.” He said seeing how raw and naked you were just for him. After taking off your shirt you ran your hand down Jake’s chest to his abdomen feeling his sculpted body as he took off his boxers.

“Jake, I want you.” You begged, pulling his torso towards you with your legs and he smiled into your neck, marking the spot. You could smell the chlorine from the pool on Jake as he trailed kisses down your entire body until he reached your legs.

“I'll give you what you want, babe.” You shivered as he responded by trailing kisses up your inner thigh.

With every touch from Jake, your body burned as if it were on fire. It was irresistible and effervescent how good he could make you feel. His touch was good, his breath in your skin was good, his grunts in your ear were good, his body and your turning into one was good. Everything about him was good.

Having Jake was just too good.

☆

Jake and you were hugging each other as he stroked your hair and you looked at his face thinking how perfect he looked there under the moonlight invading his room.

“You tired?” You asked and he smiled, closing his eyes as you caressed his cheekbone with your fingers. “A little bit.” He confessed, snuggling closer to you.

He pulled you by the waist and gave you a quick peck on the lips. “I heard people are calling you bullet now.” You noticed the pleased tone in Jake’s voice “Because you're fast like a bullet.” He teased and you felt embarrassed by the new nickname “They're exaggerating.” Jake looked in your eyes “Don't need to be humble with me, I know you're good.” You nodded feeling an inexplicable happiness for having your skill recognized by a racer as talented as Jake “Congrats on updating from newbie to bullet.”

“Thank you, king.” You whispered and he smiled, running the back of his hand across your cheek “You're welcome, babe.”

This intimacy you had with Jake was so natural. As if you had always been like this, the environment was comfortable and being with him wasn't difficult. It was perfectly natural.

“You know, Sunoo called me to tell me he's coming home for the holidays.” You smiled thinking about the possibility of finally meeting Jake's younger brother “I want you to meet him.”

Your heart was pounding so hard you were afraid Jake would feel it. “Sure, I can’t wait to meet him.”

“It’s been a while since I’ve seen him.” You watched as Jake spoke of Sunoo with admiration and fondness “He’s probably taller and smarter than me now.” Jake chuckled warmly.

“You must miss him a lot, huh?” Jake thought for a second, remembering all the happy memories he had with his brother “Yeah, I do.” He laughed through his nose “Sunoo is so much fun, he always brightens up the atmosphere with his contagious joy.”

“He seems like an amazing person.” Jake smiled at your comment “He is.” You giggled feeling Jake's nose tickle your neck “I think it's going to be good for him to come.”

You sighed thinking about how you wanted this peaceful and joyful environment to last longer. “I think so too.”

“I was thinking about having a barbecue.” He looked at you, stroking your back “What do you think? Do you like barbecue?”

“I love it.” You smiled as he placed a kiss on your cheek and then on your lips “Barbecue it is then.” He smiled and hugged you as you snuggled into him letting the sleepiness take over both of you.

The sun was shining brightly in the sky and the day was beautiful as everyone gathered at Jake's house for the barbecue he had organized for Sunoo's arrival. Sunoo had arrived a day earlier and was excited about the barbecue, happy that he would see the friends he missed so much and finally meet you after hearing about you.

Jake, with a satisfied expression, was watching as you and Sunoo talked while taking the rice and potatoes to the table in the backyard of his house. Ni-ki and Jungwon were at the grill arguing about how the meat should be cooked, whether it was well done or rare.

He smiled, especially seeing how you were even more radiant than usual.

“I thought you didn't mess up with drivers.” Sunghoon spoke next to him in a sarcastic tone and Jake gave him an airy laugh “I'm not messing with her.” He confessed and Sunghoon widened his eyes “Wait, so that means...” He followed Jake's line of sight who didn't take his eyes off you “Drop it Sunghoon, I just want to relax and eat some barbecue.” Jake replied and Sunghoon put his arm around his shoulders “But I want to hear about this bro.”

“He's in love, Sunghoon.” Heeseung said taking his drink approaching the two friends “It's obvious.” Jake gave Heeseung a quick glance before turning his attention back to you “She's special, that's all.” Jake said smiling with a look of tenderness when he saw how cute you were arranging things on the table “Damn bro, you're really damn bad.” Sunghoon retorted bumping Heeseung's fist.

“Maybe I am.” Jake spoke softly, admitting what he already knew was true. The boys looked at each other smiling at Jake’s confession, hugging him sideways as they walked towards the table.

“C'mon guys, let's eat!” Sunoo shouted, calling everyone to the table and everyone sat down. Jake sat next to you, making you give him a sweet smile that made Ni-ki roll his eyes. “Guys, get a room!”

“Shut up Ni-ki!” Jungwon nudged him with his elbow making Ni-ki smile “Alright, let's all calm down.” Sunoo said and looked at everyone laughing “Well, since it's your first time here at our barbecue, I think you should say grace.” Jake looked at you and you smiled “Okay.”

You took a deep breath, looking at everyone before you started speaking. “I want to say that I'm grateful to have met you all and that I'm happy that we're here together, well and healthy.” Your heart sank when you saw how sweetly Jake looked at you “I'm really grateful for all of you.” He squeezed your thigh under the table and smiled while you felt your heart explode inside your chest.

“The newbie knows how to touch our hearts.” Sunghoon joked and Ni-ki wiped an imaginary tear from his eye “Let's eat!!” Jungwon said excitedly and started serving himself.

“I'm also grateful to have met you.” Your heart raced as Jake's whisper warmed your ear “That's good to know.” You smiled and he held himself back from kissing you right there in front of everyone. He would definitely steal this kiss later.

As everyone ate and laughed, you took in the surroundings. The boys' laughter and jokes, Sunghoon teasing Jake, Ni-ki and Jungwon talking about something random, and Sunoo passing the soda to Heeseung. The pleasant atmosphere and the feeling of familiarity were overwhelming. It wasn't just a gathering of friends, they were family.

You felt like you were home.

And it broke your heart, because you knew this wasn't forever.

☆

Jake had pulled you into his room at the first opportunity that arose. With the excuse that you both needed to 'rest' from lunch, he held your hand and led you to the familiar place you had been before.

And with the excuse that he had sweated too much in the heat of the sun, he called you to take a shower and so you ended up with your back glued to the cold tiles of his bathroom while he attacked your neck. Your knuckles were in the middle of Jake's dark hair.

He took off his shirt and grabbed your body, pulling you onto his lap before placing you on the bathroom counter. “I love when you show me your pretty legs.” He whispered, squeezing the skin of your thighs. You were wearing a blue summer dress that showed off your body perfectly and contrasted with the color of your skin, which drove Jake crazy. “Do you like it?” You asked softly against Jake’s mouth. “I love it.” He whispered before he buried his long, beautiful fingers in your loose hair.

“That's good because I chose it just for you.” The way you spoke while looking at Jake with so much desire made him crazy to ruin you right there and then. “Yeah?” His voice seemed to be an octave lower than normal “Then take it off for me.” The way he said it with his sexy voice as he attacked your neck gave you goosebumps. The slightly imperative tone along with his desperation to have you heated up your entire body.

He helped you take off your dress and all your clothes while he took off his pants. His hands gripped every corner of your body as if he needed it to live.

You tried to contain your moan as Jake smashed his lips into you again. The kiss was messy and desperate, which reflected Jake's mental state at that moment. Your nails dug into Jake's back and neck, making him groan against your mouth.

He grabbed you by the hips as you crossed your legs around his torso holding him. As he carried you to the bathroom stall you attacked Jake's neck who bit his own mouth to avoid making any noise.

You let go of Jake and stood up again when Jake pinned you to the shower wall and turned on the shower, soaking you both. Before you could think of anything, Jake grabbed your cheeks, bringing your face close to his and deepening the kiss forcefully.

The mixture of your breaths and your warm bodies with the water falling from the shower was addictive. Jake was so turned on he wanted to taste every part of your body if he could. He wanted to bend you over and touch you until you're crying and begging for him to do something.

As Jake's hands roamed the length of your body, he brought his kisses to your neck marking the spot "Maybe I should mark you up so everyone can see you're mine.” You felt your breath hitch and your blood pressure rise as you felt his tongue run over the length of your neck “You taste so good.” He whispered before sucking on your bottom lip and kissing you again.

No matter how much you tried to hold on, you moaned with a small whimper causing Jake to pull away and put his hand over your mouth.

“You need to be quiet, love.” He whispered in your ear as he covered your mouth “Or else they we'll hear us.” You nodded, feeling your legs tremble as Jake pressed his body against yours.

You held onto his biceps as you tried to calm down, but it was impossible seeing how Jake's wet hair was pulled back after he ran his hand through his dark locks. It was an irresistible sight. "You're making it hard for me to be quiet, Jake." You whispered and swallowed hard seeing how he smiled and looked at you. Jake's gaze penetrated every last part of your dermis.

“I'll shut your pretty mouth then.” Your eyes rolled back when you felt his fingers touch you and he stuck his tongue inside your mouth, swallowing all your moans.

In an impulse he picked you up again and pressed you against the wall without breaking the kiss. His fingers sank into your skin trying to keep you in place.

You tried to feel him a bit more, but Jake wouldn't let you as he kissed you in a slow, torturous rhythm. When you pulled away for air you looked at him "Please, Jake." You begged and he smiled “Please what?” He teased “Say it with your words.”

His head was a mess and his entire body was throbbing with desire “Want to feel you,” you whispered “please, love.” Jake felt his chest swell with adoration and pride when he saw how you were surrendered to the point of calling him love, something you hadn’t done before.

“Since you asked nicely.” He whispered before accomplishing what you wanted most.

☆

After sleeping the whole afternoon to recover your energies, you and Jake went down to have dinner with Sunoo.

Sunoo had prepared a lasagna so you could enjoy the peaceful evening and chat a little. “So Y/N, I heard you’re a great racer.” Sunoo smiled excitedly as he chewed his food.

“Well, I try.” You laughed as Jake had fun watching his little brother interact with you “She’s good, she beat Ni-Ki and Jungwon in her first race.” Jake praised you and you felt a wave of happiness invade your chest.

“You really are perfect for my brother then.” He said in a comical tone and you felt your cheeks heat up as Jake smiled, silently agreeing with his brother’s comment “I would love to see you race, but unfortunately I have to go back after this holiday because of my university classes.”

“I understand…” You took a sip of the juice in your glass “Do you race too?” Sunoo laughed and waved his hand in the air in denial “God, no. Not like the boys.” He sighed “I always preferred the business and organization part of our car workshop. That's one of the reasons why I'm at the business course in university.”

You were impressed by Sunoo. He definitely had the face of someone who suited the field he chose. “Sunoo was the best manager of our finances, but now that he’s in college I take care of everything.” Jake said, looking at you tenderly “It seems like a difficult task.”

“It’s a little, but I can handle it.” Jake said confidently making you laugh at the table “So this is the confidence of the king of racing?” You teased Jake by asking Sunoo who laughed and nodded “That’s because you didn’t see what he was like when we were younger.”

“Hey! No exposing our cringe memories to my girl.” Jake said placing his hand on your thigh making your heart clench. 'my girl.'

“I’ll tell you everything later.” Sunoo whispered to you as if Jake couldn’t see him “I’m looking forward to this moment.”

“Hey! I can hear you guys.” Jake smiled as he watched you and Sunoo enjoy his comedic tone.

Sunoo, who saw how you and Jake looked at each other, side smiled seeing how happy Jake seemed. Not that Jake wasn't happy, but now he had a different glow and he knew it was because of you. After dinner you helped wash the dishes and then went upstairs to Jake's room to wait for him while he and Sunoo put away the last remaining utensils.

“You know, it’s been a while since I've seen you smile like that.” Sunoo said to Jake as he finished putting the silverware away in the drawer.

Jake smiled and looked at his brother as he finished taking out the trash from the kitchen. “Really? I didn't know that.”

“It’s because of Y/N.” Sunoo looked mischievously​ to Jake “I like her, so please take care of her.”

“Shouldn't you be saying this to her?” Jake laughing crossing his arms in front of his chest “I'm your brother, after all.”

Sunoo giggled and closed the cabinet drawer “It's because I've known my brother long enough.” He said sarcastically and Jake ruffled his brother's hair “Don't worry, I'm taking good care of her.” Jake finished his kitchen chores and waited for Sunoo at the door “She's special.”

“Good.” Sunoo gave a funny wink before turning off the kitchen light and heading to his room. “So, I'll trust my cute sister-in-law to you.”

“Alright.” Jake just smiled and went up to his room, excited to spend another night with you.

You had arrived at the place where another race would take place while looking for Jake who said he was near the cars at the starting line.

The night was perfect until you bumped into Jihoon in the middle of the street. You were shocked by his nerve to show up for the race after the fight he had with Jake, but this only confirmed your suspicions that he was the one you were really looking for all this time and not Heeseung.

“Look who’s here.” He said mockingly, looking you up and down. “I should say the same.” You replied, shocked by the boy’s change in behavior.

He approached with his hands in his pockets “Where does this attitude come from?” he scoffed “Why are you so mad?” You rolled your eyes and walked out of Jihoon’s field of vision, bumping your shoulder into his arm “I don’t have time for this.”

“Wait a minute.” He pulled you by the arm and turned you to face him. “It’s been a while since we’ve seen each other, let’s catch up.” You looked at him suspiciously. “What do you want to talk about? We’re not friends.” He smiled and touched your shoulder “We can be, with benefits too if you want.” You took his hand off your shoulder and walked away. “You’re crazy.”

It was shocking how that shy boy persona was shattered with the revelation of who he really was.

“Don’t play too hard to get, I know I can teach you a few things, newbie.” You frowned “No thanks, I’m fine.” Before he could touch you again Jake arrived on the scene pulling you behind him.

“Oh, now I understand.” He gave you a harsh laugh “You’re just another one in Jake’s pants.” You grabbed Jake who was clearly irritated and almost about to punch him again “Jihoon, get the hell out of here.” He spoke through his teeth and the boy laughed “Sure king, I’m leaving.” He said sarcastically before turning to you “When you get tired of him, you can always call me.” He winked at you and you rolled your eyes in disgust “As if! cretin...”

Jake pulled you by the hand away from the crowd and looked at you with a worried look “Are you okay?” He held your face between his hands and you nodded “Yeah, it’s okay.” He sighed and you hugged him suddenly feeling welcomed by his presence “Come on, forget about it and let’s go watch the race.”

“I’m not in the mood to watch the race anymore.” He stroked your hair “So, what do you want to do?” You asked and he smirked “I have an idea.”

You looked at him curiously, knowing that Jake always came up with the craziest ideas.

“Let's take a ride.”

☆

Being in the passenger seat while Jake drove was a unique feeling. While he focused on the road, his hand was gripping your thigh, sliding over your soft skin. The metal rings on his hand sent goosebumps across your skin. “Where are we going?” You asked, seeing how calmly he smiled.

“A place I want you to see.” He turned and stared at you as he sped the car in a straight line. “You might wanna keep your eyes on the road, babe.” You laughed seeing how he kept looking at you with a smirk.

“What? You think we're gonna crash?” He asked as he still accelerated the car before stopping at a traffic light.

“I don’t know. I guess I trust your driving skills, though.” He laughed at your response squeezing your thigh “The secret's not about having the best car, it's how you drive it.” His focus returned to the road making you see his profile, noticing Jake's dark hair blowing in the wind coming from the window.

That feeling of adrenaline and confidence that came every time you were with Jake was comforting. You knew he was your complete opposite, but maybe that was what drew you to him. Like you were two sides of the same coin, or magnets with different polarities that couldn't be separated.

Likewise, Jake knew he felt happy every time you were together. It was like you were the trigger that activated his dopamine. An addiction he could never get enough of.

“We’re here.” He stopped at a pier. There was practically no one else there at this time of day, but through the window you could see the dark water rocking gently with boats in the background.

“Wow, how beautiful.” You said, observing the landscape, feeling the cold breeze give you goosebumps a little.

“I know.” He sighed, looking at you “I come here when I want to be alone and relax.”

You looked at each other, feeling sparks fly instantly. Jake's hand was still on your thigh, moving it up under your skirt.

“I love it when you wear skirts. It reminds me of the day we first met.” He leaned in and whispered in your ear. Your breathing quickened as you stared into his dark orbs. “You remember what I was wearing when we met?” You couldn’t help the silly smile that appeared on your face.

“How could I forget?” He smiled and fit his face into your neck, feeling your sweet scent “You were so beautiful. It was difficult to ignore.” He pressed his lips to the corner of your neck in a delicate way, as if he was just testing the waters.

“Maybe you fell in love at first sight.” You playfully touched his hair and he smiled against your skin “Maybe I did.” His confession made you pull his face to yours. He kissed you tenderly and you couldn’t help but want to climb on top of him.

You pushed him back and crawled lightly until you climbed onto his lap. His eyes widened in surprise, but he soon smiled, adjusting you in the best position.

As you looked down at him you couldn't help but check him out. How he stood so close and yet at the perfect distance to admire him. His teasing expression turned you on completely. “Your lips are so pretty.” You ran your thumb over his lips before giving him a long kiss “Wanna kiss them all the time.” You whispered, making Jake’s heart beat wildly. “Yours are pretty too.” He smiled looking at your mouth.

You didn't know what came over you. Maybe Jake's presence brought out all your primal desires.

Your fingers sank into Jake's dark hair through his bangs. “This hair color is nice.” You felt how soft his hair was and smiled. The contrast of his dark hair with his lightly tanned skin from the sun made Jake even more attractive.

His hands went to your waist “It’s my natural color.” His thumbs made circles on your waist underneath the fabric “Do you like it?” You nodded, threading your fingers through his locks and running them down to the nape of his neck “Yes, it suits you.”

He smiled and pulled you closer “I'm just going to miss the blond a little because it reminds me of when I first met you.” You confessed holding his cheeks, your thumbs caressing his cheekbones.

He smiled looking at you. “Yeah?” He loves the vision of you on top of him, because in his mind you belong there. “Tell me love, what do you want?” He asked, leaning into your neck and moving his hands down to your thighs. The smell of his perfume invading and hypnotizing your senses.

Jake loves the feeling of the soft skin of your thighs between his fingers.

You felt butterflies in your stomach at Jake's tone. It was embarrassing how you melted so easily at his words, but his delicious voice was irresistible.

Your body twitched slightly feeling him kiss your collarbone making Jake squeeze your thighs. “You.” You replied nervously and he gave you a quick kiss before smiling over your mouth “Just that?” You nodded feeling a fire rise through your body.

Even though you didn't fully understand his question, at that moment Jake would give you whatever you wanted, material or not, but your sincerity about the moment made him sure that he would do everything in his power to satisfy you and see you happy.

“Wanna know what I want?” He said with a ragged breath. His lips brushed over yours as his warm breath mingled with yours. “I want to touch you so bad.” He didn’t wait for your answer and attacked you with desire.

Kissing Jake was like feeling your body being elevated to a higher level of human understanding. His soft lips met yours like a perfectly rehearsed dance. As if they were the perfect fit for yours.

Jake pressed your body against his and you buried your fingers in the strands near the nape of his neck, making him groan into your mouth. The way he sucked on your bottom lip was so intoxicating that it made you want to attack every inch of his skin.

Giving in to your deep desires, you trailed your mouth down Jake's marked jaw, kissing along the way until you reached his neck. He moaned as you pulled his head back so you could kiss the length of his throat.

Jake pulled your face close and met your lips hungrily. You felt his tongue deepen the kiss desperately while his right hand under your shirt passed over your belly and your bra pressed against the skin there, sending a shiver down your spine.

You reached down to the hem of his shirt to take it off and he helped you, throwing the shirt onto the passenger seat as you admired his abs.

Your fingers wandered over his belt and he smirked “Didn't know you were this needy.” He licked his bottom lip with an expectant look at you making your cheeks heat up “It's your fault, you do this to me.” Your hands began to undo his belt quickly and he swore it was the hottest sight he could ever have.

Jake felt that his pants were getting uncomfortable and decided to pull up your shirt while you tried to unzip him. You stopped so he could take off your shirt and then you went back to kissing him.

His hands moved up your back to your shoulders. He explored your body as if it were the first time and you loved it. You loved how he touched you, how he knew exactly what to do, how the chemistry between your bodies was perfect.

“Wait, are we really going to do this here?” As a shot of rationality you pulled back slightly and felt self-conscious as you saw that you were in a place where someone could appear. Jake who was marking the skin below your collarbone as he lowered the straps of your bra stopped for a moment to look at you.

“Jake, what if someone sees us?” You whispered, looking at the scenery around you that was completely deserted. “No one will see us, love, it’s empty here.” Jake rolled up the car windows, which were tinted to reassure you “And the windows are tinted.”

Your heart was racing at the thought of doing something as forbidden as this. “Love, please.” He whimpered hoarsely “I need you.” His hands pulled your hips forward in a desperate attempt to feel you.

You gasped, feeling the friction of your body against his, and slowed down your movement, teasing Jake. This begging version of him was something you liked more than you expected.

He who always took charge and was more dominant with you was now whimpering in need of your touch “Patience.” You whispered and Jake moaned like a cry stuck in his throat when you lowered his zipper and he felt your fingers hover over the spot.

He wanted more than ever to get rid of the piece of clothing, especially when you moved slowly and never enough for what he wanted most.

“Please, I'm going crazy.” He spoke in your ear, holding your hips and pressing your weight hard onto his lap. Feeling satisfied with Jake’s state and feeling that you had already reached your own limit, you decided to give in to what you both wanted.

So, on that beautiful night on the deserted pier, the sounds of the light waves, their uneven breathing and Jake's name being said repeatedly were the only things that could be heard there inside Jake's car.

After weeks of not seeing Jay, you drove many miles to a police base that was in a neighboring town. You knew this meant it was time for the final report and that you would have to move soon.

“I think we should move fast.” Jay paced impatiently back and forth “You’ve already had enough evidence that Jihoon is the guy we’re looking for.”

“We can’t do that. You know that without physical evidence and witnesses he would be released and we wouldn’t be able to track the boss.” You argued and Jay sighed.

“We have witnesses: all his friends who race.” He put his hands in his pockets “We can take advantage of the moment and catch them too for the illegal races we never managed to get.”

“No.” You replied and Jay looked at you in surprise “No? What do you mean by that?”

“They don’t know anything, they’re just kids who race around every now and then and live their lives.” Jay couldn’t believe you were defending the boys.

“Right, but the leader knows. Jake knows Jihoon is involved, so he has a stake in not reporting him.” Jay stood in front of you and you scoffed.

“As if he would call the police without proof and risk being arrested. Let’s be smart Jay.”

Jay was irritated by the way you defended Jake. “You know what? I don’t know why you’re defending him. At the end of the day, he’s still a criminal, so it doesn’t matter.”

“Jay, you talk like he’s a horrible criminal who committed heinous crimes, but he’s just a guy who races illegally and that’s just a misdemeanor, it’s not the end of the world!” You glared at Jay “Jake isn’t like Jihoon.”

Jay's eyes widened and he pointed at you. “'Just' a misdemeanor? Since when you became so liberal about committing illegal acts?”

You sighed in frustration “Jay you know very well that it’s not like that.”

“Are you sure?” He stepped closer “Because I think you’re actually too attached to those boys.” You looked away, feeling your heart sink knowing it was true “Do you think I don’t know what you’ve been doing? Going to barbecues and going to Jake’s house when there’s no need at all?”

You frowned and stared at Jay in disbelief.

"You've been tracking me?” You scoffed “Are you serious?”

“Yeah, I'm serious.” He spoke seriously looking at you “It's clear that ever since you started to spend time with him you’ve changed.” You felt your eyes water slightly “Y/N, your judgement is clouded!” He sighed “And I have no other option but to take you off the case.”

“Jay please don’t do this.” You walked over and held your friend’s hand “You know we’re so close to solving this case, don’t push me away now.”

“Y/N, look into my eyes right now and tell me you don’t have feelings for Jake.” He looked at you and you looked away feeling your heart tighten “You know I can’t do that.”

He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. “Y/N, you need to stay out of this case.”

“Wait!” Jay looked at you, seeing your desperation “Hear me out, please Jay.”

He sighed and sat down on the chair he had in the room “Okay, I'm hearing you.”

“What if I can convince him to cooperate and help us with the operation?” You begged your friend “They can be free, but we get Jihoon and the entire information network.”

Jay stopped and thought for a bit. It would be interesting for both sides and would make it easier to catch Jihoon.

“It might work.” He looked at you with concern in his eyes. “But you know what that means, don’t you?”

You sat next to Jay and looked at the ceiling, feeling the melancholy hit you with everything. “I know.”

He stood up and touched your shoulder “I’m sorry Y/N, but we need to do what’s right.”

“I know.” It was the last thing you said before sinking into absurd sadness.

You knew you would have to reveal everything to Jake and this would all come to an end and you didn't want to accept that fact.

☆

Jake was lying on top of you while you stroked his hair. He hugged your waist while you looked at the ceiling thinking about how to talk to him.

He had come to your apartment before, but today in particular would be a difficult day. You would reveal your identity and ask for Jake's cooperation, even though you knew it would destroy the relationship you had.

Of course, you hadn't planned on getting involved with Jake on this level of depth, but you couldn't help it. Feelings aren't easily controlled, and to be honest, you didn't want to avoid it.

You wanted to get involved with Jake and you wanted to go all the way, even knowing the painful consequences that it would bring. But when you weighed it up, the benefits and moments of happiness with him were much better than any heartbreak you would have to accept.

If suffering was inevitable then at least you experienced that love until the very last moment.

You sighed and Jake raised his head seeing your worried expression. “What is it babe? Is something worrying you?” He looked at you intently and you gave a weak smile holding his cheek in your hand “Just thinking about some things.”

He nodded and lifted himself up a little so he could kiss your neck “What things?” You hummed feeling his lips travel from your neck to your lips “Tell me what is worrying you so I can help you.” Your heart sank as you heard Jake “I don’t like seeing you this way.”

You smiled and kissed him again knowing it would be a goodbye. You pulled his face to yours and he smiled into the kiss, his hands roaming around your waist.

You hugged him aggressively, smelling his cologne one last time. Your fingers intertwined in his hair, feeling its softness.

“Damn babe.” He whispered breathlessly as he kissed your collarbone. Your legs rose slightly before wrapping around his torso and you pushed him aside, straddling him.

You looked at him with a melancholic look that Jake noticed as he caressed your face “Why are you looking at me like that?” His hand went to the side of your neck and you bent down to kiss him.

The feeling of being in Jake's arms was unique and you didn't want to forget it. Jake deepened the kiss and you pulled away trying to catch your breath, feeling your heart tighten.

“Sorry, I needed to breathe.” You gave a light smile and Jake saw how you lowered your head dejectedly “What’s going on babe? You’re acting weird.”

You looked at Jake once more to remember the details of his face. His furrowed eyebrows, his nose, his drawn mouth. His messy dark hair, his collarbone marked by your mouth along with the silver necklace you remembered so much.

“We need to talk.” You sighed and he sat on the bed, leaning his back against the headboard “What’s going on? Tell me.” He looked at you worriedly and you tried to find the right words.

“I know what Jihoon is doing.” Jake was surprised by what you said “We need to do something to stop this.” He gave you a confused and worried look. “Babe, what do you mean? Jihoon did something to you? Did he threaten you with something?”

You sighed, shaking your head. “No, he doesn’t know that I know that.” He took a deep breath and ran his hand through his hair “So that’s what was worrying you.” You nodded and he pulled your face to give you a quick peck “Jake, we need to end this.” He pulled away, hearing your anxious tone of voice.

“What’s wrong? You’re scaring me babe.” He looked at you confused as you tried to work up the courage to confess everything.

You looked into Jake's eyes and gave one last smile, holding his face in your hands and letting go before revealing the whole truth.

“Jake, I'm a cop.” You said in a rush and he laughed “Babe, c'mon, that's not funny.” He looked at you hopefully as if you were going to say it was all a bad joke, but you looked away as you felt your eyes fill with tears.

“It’s true. I’m an undercover cop.” You whispered, getting up from the bed and Jake’s eyes widened.

At that exact moment Jake felt his heart break into several pieces. 

“That’s a lie. Please tell me you’re joking.” Jake’s voice began to crack.

“It’s true.” You looked at him with tears threatening to fall from your eyes “I needed to find out who was the infiltrated drug dealer at the races and I found out it was Jihoon.”

Jake stood up feeling an absurd pain invade his chest. He felt betrayed, as if everything had been a big lie. “You lied to me? All this time?” He gave a sarcastic laugh, feeling his eyes water “Everything we lived was a lie?”

You turned to him, looking at him desperately “Jake, of course not.” You approached him feeling you heart tear at Jake's pained expression “Everything I said, what we lived, what I feel for you is real.” Jake looked at you, letting the tears fall “Please, believe me.”

He pulled away from you, putting on his shirt. “How do you expect me to believe you?” He was looking for his pants, but he was disoriented so he sat on the bed, putting his head in his hands. “You really fooled me…” He bitter smiled as he cried “I really thought everything you said was true.”

He looked at you with a contorted expression that broke everything you had inside “Was it fun playing with me? Was it funny deceiving me all this time?” You shook your head vehemently and he felt his throat close up “Is Y/N even your real name ? I don't know anymore.”

“It wasn’t a joke, it was all true.” Your chest tightened with all the pain you felt “I really didn’t mean to hurt you.” He shook his head. “No, it’s too late.”

“Jake I’m so sorry, but please believe me when I say that everything I feel for you is real.” You took his hand and placed it over your heart but he pulled away and stood up “I don’t believe you anymore, I can’t do it.” He looked away and you let the tears fall “Whatever we had is over now.”

“I understand that you don’t believe me, but you need to listen to me.” He looked at you in disbelief “I need your help to save you and our friends.”

He got irritated when he saw how you spoke “Save me? Our friends? What the hell are you talking about?”

“Jake, the police are after Jihoon. If you don’t help, everyone will go down with him, including you.” You stood in front of him “I need your help to arrest Jihoon and free the boys, please.”

“I’m sorry, but how do you expect me to believe you when you’re a liar?” His words were harsh and you felt your heart being pierced with each word spoken.

“It’s okay if you don’t believe me, but please think about the boys. They didn’t do anything and they’re in danger because of Jihoon.”

Jake felt his chest get ripped every time you opened your mouth. He didn't know he could suffer this much.

“Me and the boys have nothing to do with this. This is your problem, why don't you solve it?” He looked at you and you got angry “I’m trying!” You ran your hand through your hair “You’re not listening to me.” He saw your frustration “What do you want from me?”

“Jake, if you don’t help us, they’ll try to arrest Jihoon in some race and if the boys or anyone else is there, they’ll all going down.” You said seriously “Please help us, for them.” He looked at you and you gathered your courage before saying one last time “Please, even if you don’t believe me, I really don’t want to see you arrested.”

Jake looked at you, feeling his insides churn. His stomach hurt with the weight of the anxiety he felt. “Fine. I'll help you.” He grabbed his things before looking at you one last time “But just so you know,” You looked at him “After all of this is over, I don't want to see you ever again.”

You nodded, feeling your tears wet your face “Okay, I understand.” You spoke with a choked voice and Jake looked at you one last time with tears in his eyes before leaving and slamming the door to your apartment without saying a single word.

Your body collapsed to the floor and you brought your hands to your face.

Knowing that you had done your duty but that you’d unfortunately lost the love of your life, you allowed yourself to cry yourself to sleep.

☆

After a few days, the three of you were inside a disguised and armored car outside the meeting place that Jake had managed to find out where Jihoon would be.

After revealing your identity to Jake, everything had changed. You no longer saw him or the boys, making up some lame excuses to justify your absence.

Inside you felt the worst pain you could ever feel. It was as if everything good that had happened to you had been an illusion. A good joke from the universe.

Jay picked you up at your apartment and when you got into the car seeing that Jake was already there you felt your heart stop.

The moment your eyes met, you quickly realized how much you missed Jake. You missed his eyes, your hugs, the tender kisses he gave you when you asked for them. How his jokes were funnier when you were alone. You missed his hair between your fingers, his voice in your ear.

You missed him.

Even if you succeeded in your mission, you didn't know how you would move on with your life. Jake had become so special that you didn't want to accept a reality without him by your side.

He was in front of you, beautiful as ever and you couldn't do anything about it.

While you wondered if he would ever forgive you, he stared at the landscape through the glass, not wanting to make eye contact.

“So, let’s review the plan.” Jay breaked the silence and Jake looked at him dejectedly “Your excitement touches me.” Jay ironically said and Jake scoffed.

“Sorry if I'm not in the brightest mood. I just discovered my girlfriend is an undercover cop and that one of my old friends actually hates me and I need to make him go to prison in order to save my friends.” Jake commented and your heart sank when you heard the word 'girlfriend' and Jay looked at you through the corner of his eye without saying anything “So yeah, sorry I'm not very excited about that.”

“It's going to be over soon, don't worry.” Jay replied and Jake sighed as you remained looking at him.

“Jake, please.” You tried to speak but he interrupted you looking at Jay “Let's just get this over with.”

Jay nodded and went on to explain the plan again.

It was simple, Jake would meet with Jihoon, and talk to him until the moment he would reveal the prohibited merchandise and you would be in the ideal blind spot to arrest him.

But as simple as it was, you wanted to enjoy these last moments with Jake.

“You can go first, he's approaching the location.” Jay said to Jake who nodded and got out of the car and walked normally to the spot he was supposed to be.

“You know, you look awful.” Jay whispered to you, who looked at him and gave a sarcastic smile. “Yeah, I know.” He laughed and hugged you from the side “You know, now that I met him, I kinda get you.” He finished loading his gun and looked at you “He's actually very charming. Sorry I judged you.”

“It's okay Jay, let's just forget about this.” You commented feeling your heart tighten “Okay, sorry. You know I care about you, right?” He said affectionately and you smiled nodding “I know.” You bumped your best friend's fist, like always.

☆

You were at a strategic point on Jake's left side. Your body was crouched down when Jihoon approached, talking to Jake from a distance. Jay was on the other side, a little further back, anxiously waiting for Jihoon to give any signal so he could jump straight towards him and arrest him.

You quickly glanced at Jake who looked normal, as always. That calm expression you remember seeing the moment you first saw him.

Everything about him was captivating and a part of you wished things were different. If you had met under different circumstances, at different times, maybe it would have worked out.

Before you could continue your thoughts, you noticed a strange shift in the conversation and saw that Jihoon took a gun out of his pants and pointed it at Jake.

You felt your heart race with adrenaline and turned to Jake who looked shocked.

“Jihoon?!” Jake said feeling his body stiffen in fear “What the hell are you doing?”

Jihoon smirked “Sorry man, it's nothing personal, it's just something I should've done a long time ago.” Jake widened his eyes “I thought we were friends!” He said angrily and Jihoon rolled his eyes “Things have changed.” He clicked his tongue “You know that.”

“It was good knowing you, king.” He pulled the safety back on the gun and in a rush you ran out of hiding and jumped over Jake as Jihoon pulled the trigger.

“NO!” Jake yelled as he saw you fall in front of him, your shoulder bleeding. Jay came from behind and tackled Jihoon, handcuffing him. “You bastard!! I'll make sure you rot in prison!” Jay screamed while you started to get dizzy.

“Y/N! Oh my God you're bleeding.” Jake knelt down beside you, desperate and with tears in his eyes. “Are you okay?” You asked Jake, feeling your forehead break out in a cold sweat. Okay, getting shot wasn't that cool.

“How can you ask me that? You just got shot!” He said in a choked voice holding your face with his shaking hands.

Jihoon was struggling behind you, but Jay had already knocked him out with everything he had while calling for backup. “We need backup urgently! We have an attempted murder against an agent, the suspect is down and the agent is shot, send an ambulance.”

“Jake.” You whispered his name knowing that you would soon pass out. Your body was already showing signs that it was weakening from the loss of blood.

“I hope you can forgive me one day.” You lifted your hand from your free arm and touched his cheek before feeling everything slowly go dark. His face nuzzled into your hand. “I really love you.” His hand was shaking as he placed it over yours.

He was crying as he nodded his head. “I love you too.” He said between tears, but you had already fainted, leaving him even more desperate “Y/N? Y/N!! ANSWER ME!!” He started to scream, but he was pulled back when help arrived.

Jihoon was taken away by the other police officers while Jay held Jake who was disoriented and struggling when he saw that you weren't waking up.

“PLEASE CALM DOWN.” Jay yelled and Jake felt his body weaken as he watched you being put into an ambulance “She needs to go to the hospital, let them take care of her.”

“LET ME GO! I need to see her.” Jake said feeling his head hurt and Jay let go of him seeing the precarious situation Jake found himself in as he was kneeling on the floor.

“She's my best friend. I care about her too, man.” Jay looked at Jake in a friendly way and bent down holding his shoulders “But we need to trust them and make sure we finish our job so everything she did wasn't in vain.” Jake nodded and Jay got up offering his hand to Jake.

“C'mon let's finish everything and we'll go to the hospital, I'll take you.” Jake took Jay's hand and decided to trust him.

But even on the way to the hospital Jake couldn't stop the tears from streaming down his face.

After you went to the hospital and were stabilized and your life was out of any danger, Jake was called by Jay to give a statement at the police station as his last participation in the case.

Jake told him everything he knew in the last details so that all of this would finally be over and he could return to the hospital with the hope of seeing you wake up. Jay informed him that thanks to his help in arresting Jihoon they were able to identify the others involved and the main boss, solving the case, leaving Jake relieved.

“You are free to go.” Jay gave Jake a side smile after his statement “Your records and your friends’ records are clean. Thank you for your cooperation.” Jay shook Jake’s hand, who looked at him confused, trying to understand how this happened.

“What do you mean? I thought you just wanted my statement.” He said, squeezing Jay’s hand back.

“You know, I'm gonna be honest with you.” Jay sighed and leaned over the table, putting his arms over it. “Y/N did everything she could to get us to clear your records in exchange for your cooperation.”

Jake felt his heart melt with remorse at hearing this “I know it’s not easy for you to understand, but we had to do our job.” He looked at Jake with pity “She really cares about you guys, you can be sure of that.”

Jay laughed and Jake stared at him without saying anything “She always defended you guys and that's why we ended up fighting and she almost left the case because of it.” He smiled tenderly at Jake “I sincerely hope you understand her side.” He squeezed Jake's shoulder and he nodded.

“I didn’t know that.” He confessed, feeling his heart heavy when he remembered the last argument you both had. “Well, it’s understandable.” Jay sighed, crossing his arms “She has a tendency to keep all those feelings inside for the good of everyone, it’s a bad habit.”

Jake smiled for the first time “It really is.” Jay looked at him, noticing how dejected he was “She’ll be fine, don’t worry.”

“I know, it’s just that I have so much to tell her.” He sighed and Jay stood up “So when she wakes up, you tell her everything.” Jake stood up and held Jay’s hand “And don’t let her get away anymore.”

Jake just nodded and smiled. “I won’t. Not anymore.”

☆

When you opened your eyes you were faced with the sight of a disconcerting light coming from the sun through the window while your head throbbed. You opened your eyes slowly feeling the soft mattress of the hospital bed and your shoulder ache slightly from the movement.

Looking to the side, your eyes widened when you saw Jake sitting in a chair and taking a nap. Your heart raced and you felt butterflies in your stomach at the sight.

His head was bowed while his arms were crossed. It was clearly not a comfortable position, but you wondered if you should wake him up or let him wake up naturally.

“Jake?” You called him in a low, delicate voice, trying not to scare him.

Jake opened his eyes slightly and ran his hand over his face before stretching. When he turned his face and saw your bright doe eyes looking at him, he felt his heart stop.

“Y/N?” He called your name as gently as possible before leaning down and touching your cheek gently “Can you speak?”

“Yes.” You nodded your head and tried to sit up, but the pain in your shoulder was unbearable. “Don’t get up, you’ve been out for 24 hours.” Your eyes widened, realizing that you had slept for a whole day “The doctors said you were very stressed and fatigued.”

It was obvious that you hadn’t been sleeping well since the argument with Jake, but you didn’t imagine it would be to the point of blacking out for an entire day. “I’m sorry.” Jake’s voice snapped you out of the trance you were in and he took your hand “I feel like this is my fault.”

“It’s not your fault.” You sighed, lacing your fingers through Jake’s knuckles “It’s my job.”

“Still, thank you for saving my life.” Jake’s eyes filled with tears “I don’t know if you remember what I said before,” You looked at him curiously, “but I wanted to repeat it.” He took a deep breath and looked at you with pure sincerity in his eyes. “I love you.”

Your heart raced to the point where you were afraid it would jump out of your ribcage. Memories of what you said before you passed out invaded your mind and you felt your body heat up. “I thought you would never forgive me.” You whispered, feeling the emotions take over your being and Jake shook his head, placing kisses on the back of your hand.

“I know, I was a jerk. I’m sorry for the things I said to you.” You saw how he looked at you tenderly “I was angry and lost my mind that day, but the truth is that I couldn’t live without you.” He said smiling “I love you so much and besides, you’re the bullet of my kingdom.” You laughed remembering your nickname.

“I was wrong too.” You played with his fingers “I could have told the truth before, but it wasn’t easy.”

“It’s okay, I understand.” He leaned closer and kissed your forehead “Let’s forget about this and have a fresh start.” You nodded and smiled happily “I would love that.”

He gave one of those smiles that broke your heart and touched his lips into yours in a long kiss. “Now rest, I'm going to call the nurse.” He said and you snuggled into the pillow trying to relax.

Even you wouldn't be able to believe everything that happened.

While you were recovering in the hospital, Jay and the boys came to visit you, bringing you candy, flowers, and cheering you up while you tried not to think about the gunshot you’d received. It would probably take you over a month to fully recover the movement of your shoulder, but you were grateful to be alive and to have been able to save Jake.

Jake wouldn't leave your side, except for the days he had to go home to work part-time and pick up more clothes to spend the night at the hospital. Even though everything had worked out, you still couldn't believe that you could finally experience everything you wanted without having to lie or pretend to be something you weren't.

Jake knew who you were and decided to stay, and that was all you needed to be able to live in peace.

Jay had also updated you on how the case was successfully closed, and because of Jihoon's connections they were able to track down the main boss. Inside you were happy, you had done your job and despite getting shot, everything ended well.

There was only one thing you knew you would miss, and you weren't ready to admit it out loud, but deep down you knew you would miss racing. The truth is that the environment of customized cars with modified engines had become natural and fun for you, and personally you would miss the competitions.

Maybe in the distant future, you would race again as bullet.

☆

1 MONTH LATER

You looked at the front of Jake's garage, feeling a nostalgic feeling invade your interior. From afar, you saw that Ni-ki and Jungwon were talking and laughing about something at the entrance.

A small smile formed on your face when you saw how well they looked. These boys had a place in your heart and you wouldn't be able to forget the time you spent together racing.

As you approached, Ni-ki was the first to notice your presence. His eyes widened and Jungwon followed his line of sight to see you arrive dressed in a police uniform.

“Wow, seeing you dressed like that is so weird.” The boy said and you laughed “What do you think?” Ni-ki watched as you turned around and clapped his hands “It kind of suits you, even though it’s a little scary.”

“You’ve always been so cool, I could never guess you were a cop.” Jungwon commented and Ni-ki agreed making you laugh “Hey! I’m still cool!”

From afar, Sunghoon and Heeseung watched the interaction at the garage door and looked at each other before seeing how Jake looked entertained by the car he was working on.

They approached the entrance and smiled at you “Hey man, check out this look.” Sunghoon elbowed Heeseung, pointing to your outfit “I’m seeing, bro. I smelled bad boots from afar.” You laughed and greeted the boys “It’s good to see you guys too.”

“Y/N, your uniform is giving me the creeps.” Sunghoon said, placing his hand on his chest. “Please don’t arrest me!” He put his hands together as if he were saying a prayer and you laughed “Don’t worry, I came in peace today.”

They laughed and watched how you were looking out for Jake “He’s back there.” Heeseung said and you smiled, thanking the boys “I’ll be right back, boys.”

“I know you won’t.” Sunghoon mumbled and Heeseung chuckled “But we’ll wait anyway.” Heeseung added and you smiled before heading towards Jake.

As you approached, a whirlwind of sensations took over your body as you recognized the place, and how Jake continued to look extremely handsome at his job. He was wearing a white tank top this time, and his dark brown hair fell perfectly over his forehead.

He turned his face expecting to see Sunghoon and smiled broadly when he saw it was you “What's up bullet.” Jake said in a mischievous tone coming closer and you smiled “What's up King.” Your voice made Jake’s insides stir with everything.

“What did I do to deserve the honor of your visit, officer?” He put his hands on your waist, pulling you towards him “I missed you, and I came to make you a proposal.” You showed a paper that you were holding and waved it in front of Jake “What is this?” He held the paper with one hand, looking at the contents curiously “We are recruiting drivers.” You ran your hand down Jake’s chest “Since you said you wanted to do things legally, I thought of you.” Jake smiled, seeing your eyes shine with a mischievous glow “Just for that?” He asked “And because I miss racing with you. There I said it.”

Jake laughed, placing his hand on the corner of your neck. “Yeah?” He leaned in and gave you a quick peck “And what do I get out of this?” He asked, brushing his lips over yours “You get a wonderful salary and an amazing car of your choice.” You looked at him and he bit his lower lip “What about you? Do I get you too?” He asked teasingly and you pulled his shirt. “You never lost me.” You whispered and he kissed you once more, enveloping you completely.

“Then I accept.” He smiled and looked you up and down “You know, you look pretty hot in that uniform.” You laughed and ruffled his hair “Really? You can see it better later then.” Jake smirked “If you keep looking at me this way, I'll let you arrest me.” You flicked his forehead and smiled “Careful or I’ll really arrest you, my king.”

“Get a room!” Ni-ki shouted from afar and the two of you looked at each other before bursting out laughing.

At the end of the day, this was your perfect happy ending: The two of you together, racing as King and Bullet, with no expiration date.

☆

[yjw1a1]

the lamb and the wolf ~ dom! vampire! jake x sub! reader ౨ৎ .⋆。⊹ ♡

ଓ ⋆˙⊹ [ 제이크 ] ☆ Sim Jaeyun, the popular yet somehow nerdy 21 year old at your shared university. All the girls swooned over him, claiming that he's the most perfect human being to have ever walked this earth. You, on the contrary, felt something off about him, had your suspicions about the blonde haired boy that started to rule your every thought, and he could sense such. of course he did! He was the one crawling into your brain and picking apart your skull in order to rearrange the puzzle pieces to fit perfectly isync with his. He was absolutely crazy about how you didn't pay him any lustful eye or tried too hard to come onto him, that was until he started yearning for you, every part of you in so many more ways than one. You were just as mysterious to him as he was to you, and it drove both of you mad. And he just had to do something about it before his precious little muse genuinely did go insane.

Word count: 14,000

Vampire! Dom! Jake x Sub! Reader. Bondage, blood kink, overstimulation, biting, scratching, slight cnc (reader likes it dw), slight manhandling, praise, degradation, fingering, slight hunter/prey dynamic, slight breath play, slight corruption

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This is more of a short story than a one shot and the reader has similar characteristics to me so it's a little bit of an oc. sorry. it's kind of a slow burn but oh well. Reposts and comments are appreciated thank you! ♡ - phoebe

"Sim Jaeyun and f/n l/n" the professor calls out. you look over your shoulder the same time Jake looks down towards you from the top of the room, your eyes fixated on each others for just a split second before you break eye contact just as fast as it appeared, turning towards your best friend who sits directly next to you. The psychology professor was arranging groups of people for an upcoming project. you look at your best friend, your lips sucked between your teeth as she giggles.

"don't laugh please." you say to in a groan. she shakes her head, her giggling dying down as she speaks

"he's really not that bad, I hear he's actually decently nice and charming. all that talk about being a fuck boy are all rumors from what I hear" you cock an eyebrow up at her words, a look of 'oh really' written across your face

"and how would you know that" you say when you go to grab your book bag and sling it over your shoulder, not yet standing up to move

"one of my friends is a friend of his, so I've hung out with him from time to time and he doesn't at all act like what people talk about. I might just be talking out of my ass but you know" she shrugs her shoulders before continuing

"I guess it's just his looks that everybody fawns over. You can't even deny how attractive he is" she speaks and grabs her bag, standing up to move to her group, leaving you to follow her actions and face the blonde haired man. you look at him and you really can't deny it, he is unbelievably attractive. his face chiseled perfectly, his hair framing his face in a way that extenuates his features. he looks at you, a smile appearing on his lips this time, inviting you over.

You return his smile out of fondness. You're not really the type to fall for looks, you want something genuine. Real feelings and love, so you've never had the opportunity to actually fall in love because a lot of people in this generation tend to follow down the path of hook-up culture that really wasn't designed for your heart.

I guess you could say you want an old type love, one where men weren't ashamed to talk about their feelings for a woman.

You walk over to your group of four people, the empty seat with your name written all over it sat directly next to the blonde. you take your seat and get out your MacBook, opening up your notes before resting your elbows on the table below you, your chin in your palms as you look over your group, your eyes finding jakes figure once more as his do you.

"I'm y/n, by the way" you say to your group and begin talking about the subject of your shared presentation due in three months. its a really big project that consists of the need for various statistics involving a psychological study. When you begin suggesting topics, jakes eyes pour into your movements when you speak, finding it quite cute how much you enjoy talking about your major. he inturrupts you, his voice cherry sweet as his tone cuts into you, your eyes finding his

"you know an awful lot about psychological studies and tests ran in the past, how do you know so much?" he asks genuinely. you smile at him because he seems to take actual interest in your knowledge, you begin to ramble, talking his ear off about how much you enjoy learning how the human mind works and why it works the way it does. the other group members listen to you as well, but not as intentely as Jake does.

"psychology is my major, ever since I was little I was fascinated about the way people operate and the explanation as to why they do the things they do, I guess its kind of like an extreme interest of mine that I decided to make into my life goal to study" you end your ramble, a small tint of red coating your cheeks once you realize you've been talking for over fifteen minutes. Jake's smile never falters at your voice

"you just answered my second question. you're quite an interesting one, y/n" the way he worded his sentence sticks with you, he's talking as if he was born at a different time because you have never, ever heard anyone talk the way he does. you shake your head and the rest of the period goes by in a flash, your group figuring out what to make your presentation on, finishing up on it being the root of different phobias and how they affect different people. its quite simple, but there is a lot of different types that you would like to go over.

"hey guys, I think we should exchange numbers so we can all get together outside of class to do this project" one of your group members says, you nodding your head and getting your phone out of your bag. Jake takes your phone before anybody else could, handing you his in return.

"here, its easier like this than having everybody read out their numbers" Jake says to you, typing his number into your phone. you nod your head in agreement and add your contact information into his device before the two of you switch. you take note of what he named his contact as while he exchanges his phone with someone else.

everyones phone gets passed around and you notice that he named himself "Jake" in your phone while "sim jaehyun" was his name in everybody elses. you take note with a small smile before you wipe it off of your face.

"I'll see you later" he says to the group, but only looking at you as he speaks, exiting the room shortly after, leaving you to tilt your head in agreement. The rest of your group pools out of the room as do you not long after.

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A buzz on your phone causes you to stop doing what you're doing, setting down your lipgloss on your vanity before picking it up to check the message.

It's from Jake, and he's asking if you would like to come study with him at a nearby cafe.

You nearly fall out of your chair when you realize you weren't hallucinating, quickly messaging him back a "sure", trying not to get too excited when you get dressed after deciding on a cafe and heading out the door. its not a long walk from your apartment, giving your legs a good stretch after spending hours in your bed studying other subjects for classes your enrolled in. you enter the cafe, your eyes automatically finding Jakes lean figure. he lifts his head up from his computer, sensing your presence enter the building as he waves you over. he stands up so you could scoot into the booth next to him, deciding it was better to see each others screens than have to turn them around every five seconds.

his toothy grin makes you smile as he looks at you, recropricating his fondness. the two of you get to talking about the beginning of your lecture project, and the more that he talks, the more you begin to realize how much he knows about experiments conducted in the past, his knowledge crystal clear and unbelievably accurate. you look at him in wonder, not understanding how he knows so much about things that have happened so long ago.

"how do you know all this stuff?" you ask him, cutting his sentence short as you look up at him. his glasses frame his face so well, and you can see why every girl wont shut up about him. he really is breathtaking.

he brings his bottom lip inbetween his teeth to stop himself from laughing at your question, the most heartwarming smile on his face. he pushes his glasses up to the bridge of his nose and you take note of his eye color; dark brown.

"psychology is my major too, y/n. I also love learning about how the human brain works" the way he says 'human' makes your stomach churn, but you pay it no mind.

"you're really smart for someone who's only 21" you laugh at him. just as he's about to say something, a waiter with your drink comes over and goes to hand it to you. Without thinking, you lean over Jake, one of your breasts presses up against his arm gently and your hair gets in his face; he doesn't move. he doesn't want to move. you smell good.

so fucking good as you get closer to him. everything moves in slow motion in jakes mind as you're oblivious to the thoughts coursing through his skull. his eyes start to become heavy as time begins to catch up to speed. you thank the waiter and lean back on your seat, your body peeling away from his. a distasteful look clouds his face as he wants to grab you and pull you to press up against him again, but he controls himself.

you take a sip of your drink with a hum before looking at the man next to you, freezing at the look on his pale face.

"Jake, are you okay?" your voice rings through out his head and suddenly he's snapped out of his thoughts as he turns to you, his eyes still heavy.

"yes, yeah im okay" he says, trying to push a reassuring smile out to comfort you. you dont look away, concern laced in your tone

"are you sure? you dont look so good" you say, leaning closer to him. your hand raises before you can event think. the back of your hand comes in contact with his forehead and much to your surprise, he doesn't have a fever, its actually quite the opposite.

he's cold. almost freezing. you gasp and furrow your eyebrows. Jake takes note and quickly grabs your wrist in your hand, gently so he doesn't hurt you, and brings it down.

"I'm okay y/n, really" his smile is genuine this time. he's never had someone worry about him so easily before and he's never had someone talk to him about their interests, let alone his. ever.

your lips part as a small, shallow breath leaves your throat, your cheeks warming up. you take notice in the fact that his hand the same tempature as his forehead. you stare at each other before you feel jakes thumb gently caressing the skin on your wrist, breaking you out of your trance. you lift your wrist away from his hold, but not before your fingers lace around his in a small squeeze, deciding to do something slightly risky.

you pick up the glass and take another sip. you almost choke when you hear Jake laughing from above you, loud and clear. you set the glass down and look up at him, your lips in a full pout as you cross your arms.

"dont tell me you're one of those matcha haters." you tighten your lips and glare at his laughing. he shakes his head and begins to calm before speaking to you through giggles

"matcha tastes like grass y/n, how could you like that stuff" you huff at his sentence, kicking his foot under the table before turning away from him, his eyes being met with your back.

"oh y/n, dont ignore me, im only expressing my opinion. you can't be mad at meee" his hands move before he can process what he's doing, his fingers find your waist and tickle you.

your body spins around as a loud shriek forces its way out of your throat, a loud laugh following in pursuit. you shake in his hold, your palms desperately trying to smack his hands away as laughter fills the whole building.

"okay okay im not mad let me go" he stops tickling you, but his hands dont leave your waist, and you don't even realize it. he can feel your warmth under his fingertips and the blood coursing through your veins, your body and soul very much prominent and alive. it fills Jake with so many emotions.

"what do you like to drink then, mr. picky" he almost answers your question honestly, but he bites his tongue.

"something much sweeter than matcha" his tone darkens playfully and it makes you slightly lightheaded. You can now feel his hands on you, his fingers tightening around your figure, but you don't say anything about it, and you can't understand why.

Jake comes to his senses when you squirm under his hands ever so slightly. your body's pulse as well as your flowing blood being felt under his hands becomes quickly overstimulating, making him clench his jaw. he lets you go before muttering a quick

"I'll text you later" before speed walking out of the cafe, leaving you lightheaded and almost breathless. you walk home in confusion after spending the last few hours of your day with Jake studying and talking. you hear a distant scream a few blocks away, but that's normal in a city like this, so you push it to the back of your head once you enter your apartment for the night.

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"y/n..." a dark voice sings you name. you turn around in what appears to be an empty, dark space with no walls and the ground around you is filled with shallow water that leaves your bare feel cold.

"y/n" the voice echos, louder this time. your heart begins to pound in your chest, but you can't get your feet to move for the life of you. your breathing is heavy and it feels like you're about to be snatched up. you look around, no light, sound, or anything can be seen or heard in the weird universe you find yourself in.

That's until you turn your body around, finally getting your feet to move

That's when you see it: a figure with a blurred face stands a ways away from you, but you can almost see it clearly, carrying something

no, somebody.

Your freaked out breathing increases, but you stand your ground. you squint your eyes, making out the small drops of a red liquid stained the clothes its wearing, you can tell now its a man carrying a woman in a short white nightgown stained in the same red liquid that matches the color of his clothes, similar to your own night gown you sleep in every night. the mans face is blurry, but you can still see the red that stains his chin and neck, your eyes working their way down his figure to see his fingertips painted in the same, dark color. you can feel the grin on his face from where your standing. The woman doesn't move or make a sound. she's completely limp in his arms.

within the blink of an eye, he's standing in front of you, his face still blurry as the woman disappears from his hold

"be careful with who you trust" he whispers. the way he moved was so quick, it scared you into falling into the water below you, and suddenly you jump up out of your bed with a gasp. your hand clenches your chest as your heave for air. you shake your head and turn on the light on your bedside table.

You look around, scared out of your mind before getting the courage to get up and walk to the kitchen, getting a glass of water and chugging the entire thing before putting it down on the counter, leaning down to stretch your back.

"it was only a nightmare" you say to yourself, standing up straight and running your fingers through your hair. You walk into the living room to check the time. 5:30 am and your psychology class starts at 8:00 am. You decide to take a shower and make yourself breakfast instead of going back to sleep, you're too awake to do so anyways, the dream forcing you into being fully alert.

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Walking into class, now tired out of your mind from getting up so early, you set your bag down and sit next to Jake. you lean over the desk with your head in your hands, face buried in your arms as you let out a groan.

"are you okay" Jake puts a comforting hand on your back that eases you. you turn your head to look at him, your eyes tired while you nod your head. Jake doesn't believe you and cocks his head to the side, a questioning look sweeps over his face as he looks at you.

"I woke up early and couldn't go back to sleep, I'm so tired." you say, not looking away from him, the cutest pout on your lips. Jake wants nothing more than to kiss you right then and there, but he holds himself.

"I know how that feels" he says, his face softening. class begins and you end up falling asleep for the entire two hours, Jake taking down notes for you. he watches your peaceful figure, your shoulders moving up and down gently as your breathing is calm.

You feel a hand rubbing up and down your back and the softest, sweetest voice lure you out of your sleepy state. you blink your eyes open as you realize Jake is the one coaxing you out of your little nap.

"hi sleepy girl" the nickname makes your heart swell in your ribcage as you look up at him with a smile

"how long was I asleep for?" you ask him, not moving. he chuckles before answering your question.

"the whole class" you sit up quicker than the speed of sound, looking around to notice the class packing up, the clock striking 10 am. you shake your head in disappointment

"you let me sleep through the lecture??" you ask him in a sassy tone without meaning to, but he doesn't take it to heart

"you needed the sleep, I didn't want to wake you. you looked so peaceful" he says, his hand on your back leaving. you look at your open MacBook, then back at him

"I took the notes for you, if that helps" he gestures at the screen and you look at the organized notes before your expression softens

"im sorry for having an attitude, I'm just kind of anal about taking notes, but you did them perfectly" you stand up and close your laptop, putting it in your bag before slinging it over your shoulder.

"y/n, do you wanna hang out? we can study too if you want"

I just want to spend time with you.

you're glad he asked before you could, because you're not too sure you would have due to the fact that you were just too shy. you nod your head and walk out of the classroom side by side.

"where do you want to go?" you ask him as you begin to walk off campus. He shrugs his shoulders as he thinks, not really knowing where to go. you also think for a moment before the two of you begin talking in unison

"do you wanna go get food and then go to a park?" you ask him as he cuts his sentence short to listen to you. he nods his head

"that's perfect" he says as the two of you make your way to a cafe not far from campus. the bell dings, signaling to the workers that the two of you entered the building. Both of you stand in the short line to order, but you suddenly have the urge to pee.

"Jake, can you hold my things, I have to use the bathroom" you say. without needing any words, he grabs your tote off your shoulder and slings it around his. he smiles at you as you grip his arm gently without realizing it, walking off after. your touch lingers on his arm, even as he's ordering he can still feel your warmth.

you walk out of the bathroom after washing your hands to be met with Jake talking to another girl. She's beautiful; long blonde hair and a button nose, she's skinny and her clothes bring out her curves. she's holding onto Jakes arm, and before you could feel any sort of jealousy, he shifts under her hold uncomfortably, peeling out of her grasp with the fakest smile you've ever seen. you pause in your tracks, picking up on the conversation.

"You're so handsome, it's incredible" she says, tilting her head and batting her eyelashes at him. he chuckles and shakes his head. How could she not see the obviously pink tote bag littered with keychains and plushies on it? He clenches his jaw and musters out a "thank you"

"do you want to, I dont know, hang out? we could go back to my place?" she asks, eyeing him up and down. he shakes his head instantly, denying her invitation

"no thanks, im good. I'm actually here with someone" he cocks his head in your direction and she spins around, glaring at you. surprise takes over your body as you question how the fuck he knew you were standing there in the hidden corner without him even glancing at you. Your jaw slacks open in a quiet gasp as his eyes shift over to yours, not even needing to move his body or head to look at you. his stare makes you feel things you shouldn't. his eyes are telling you to come to him, so you obey, the both of them staring at you

You go to stand next to him shyly and Jake can't help but admire how obedient you are. he's not meaning to have such perverted thoughts about you at a time like this, but he can't help himself you're just too fucking adorable.

good girl

he thinks to himself. the girl huffs and walks away without a single word. you turn to face him

"good riddance, these girls have no shame" he says, smiling down at you

"you don't like it when girls approach you?"

"correction, I don't like it when they throw themselves at me" he says and before the conversation can continue, he holds up an iced matcha for you. you smile and look at it, then at him again.

"you bought it for me?" you ask and cup the cold drink in your hands.

"don't even think of paying me back" he says, still holding your tote as his now empty hand finds its way to gently grasp the small of your back, ushering the two of you out of the building and towards a non-busy park. You walk side by side through the cool, crisp autumn breeze. the golden, red, and brown leaves falling and crunching under your feet and the smell of the earth is calming. you take a sip of your drink and hum. Jake looks at you, admiring the way you enjoy the small things around you.

the both of you silently approach the grassy park and sit down next to each other. you set your drink down as he mimics your actions with your bag, putting it down next to him.

you lay down, your hair sprawled out on the ground but you don't care, you have to shower today anyways.

"its so nice outside, Its finally sweater weather, I can use my hoodies now" you say out in the open, not directly to Jake but at the world

"are you cold?" he asks you, moving to take his hoodie off before you can reply.

"a little, but its nice" before you open your eyes, you feel Jakes arms around your shoulders, ushering you to sit up as he helps you put his hoodie on. you take his hoodie as a kind gesture and put it on. its comforting, but not quite warm. you would think that his body heat would make the jacket at least a little warm, but its not.

it smells like him and your body begins to relax into the material of the jacket, feeling comforted.

"thank you, but aren't you gonna be cold?" you ask

"I don't get cold" you look at him, confusion written all over your face, but you take his words as a joke.

"ha ha, I guess you're just built different" you fake a sarcastic laugh at him and lay down again, Jake following after, laying next to you.

"do you have a girlfriend" you don't mean to be so direct, but his earlier actions confuse you, making you wonder if he just isn't looking for anything, or he already has a girlfriend. he turns to look at you, a serious look on his face as he speaks

"no. I've never fallen in love before and I don't plan to." he says as you turn to face him now, a little sad, but you listen to him with undivided attention.

"why?"

"everybody wants to just use me for my body. I don't understand it. not to toot my own horn but I do know that I am attractive, but im so much more than a handsome face. I want somebody to love me for me." he says and you become breathless, feeling the exact same way. you nod before you speak, looking deeply into his now hazel eyes

"I feel the same way. ive never met anybody who thinks the same way as I do apart from my best friend. I want to love someone and I want someone to love me, I don't want just sex I want-

-passion" Jake says the same word as you do. your face turns a deep shade of red. no other words needing to be said. his eyes lure you in dangerously close and suddenly you're daydreaming of kissing him.

kissing him with so much force and emotion it makes heat rise to your core, spreading throughout your body like fireworks.

"they're wrong about you" you blurt out as you keep daydreaming.

"I know" he says sadly. you can feel his emotions, as he feels yours.

"you're so kind, I dont understand how everybody can say such things" you chew the skin on the bottom of your lip after the words leave your mouth, worried you've said too much.

"you're too sweet to me" he's being serious. he's done unspeakably bad things, and he's dangerous. He's been telling himself to stay away from you out of fear he might hurt you as well because you're different than all the rest, but that fact alone drives him in more. you're like his muse. you're all he's been thinking about as of late, but no matter how hard he's been trying, he just can't stay away from you. he thinks of how badly he wants to crawl over you and devour you, show you how badly you've begun to take over every thought in his mind and the reasoning as to every action he's started making.

you've begun to drive him mad, and he's never wanted to take, taste, keep something to himself so badly.

his eyes shift color ever so slightly and you can almost swear they darken, his eyes getting heavy. however, you're not the least bit scared. you're intrigued.

you want to know what makes him tick. you want to know what he's thinking and why. his eyes flood into you, making you feel like your drowning in his stare. a coil starts to form in your lower abdomen, and you wonder how in the hell that's happened when he hasn't even hinted towards touching you.

"Jake" his name rolls off your tongue in a breathless whisper, almost like a hushed moan and its music to his ears. he hums in response, urging you to continue.

"do you think you could eventually fall in love?" you ask him, wishing he would give you the answer you would like to hear.

"I will, I can feel it." he says answering your question. he doesn't want to, but he feels himself falling for you ever so slowly, a ticking time bomb he wish he could defuse. he doesn't want you to be a part of his life because that would put you in danger, making you one of the most beautiful walking targets, and he would hurt anybody who even thought of laying a finger on you because of him.

but he doesn't want to let you go. the internal battle he's having with himself only grows with every passing second he's with you, and he's falling into insanity. with his slow decent into madness, yours follows not far after.

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this universe is a deep shade of red, and its dark. the cool water floods around your feet, making them cramp with how cold the temperature is. you've finally worked up the courage to walk around, wondering why you always find yourself in this familiar place every single night.

the only sound that echoes in the never ending universe is water rustling around, and your shallow breathing. it feels as though you've been walking for hours, if not days trying to find the answer as to why you've been brought here so frequently.

a scream makes you jump, whipping your head around as your heart feels like its going to leap into your throat and out of your mouth. your nails dig into your palms, attempting to ground yourself. you can see the familiar figure, holding the same woman in the white night gown, still stained in red.

you dare walk closer, tired of being played with like a game in your own dream world. you clench your jaw and swallow, hard. you begin to walk over with confidence, but all of your thoughts are drained from your body once you realize what's happening.

He's holding her in his arms bridal style, his knees digging into the wet floor as his face is in her neck. she's facing away from you, so you can't see who it is, but you can hear the moans of... agony, pleasure? you can't tell as they roll off her tongue and into your ears.

the water begins to turn red underneath the two of them, and all you want to do is wake up

wake up

wake up

please

but your frozen as you attempt to piece together what's unfolding before you. your jaw slacks open when one of his free hands slides under the slip of her dress, touching her in ways that make you feel tingly, now realizing her moans are ones of pleasure.

you gasp when he lifts his head up, his hair covering his eyes as he chuckles darkly. his face isn't blurred anymore, and you can almost just make out his face-

your hands fly to your mouth, trying to stop yourself from gasping even louder as he looks up at you, his mouth stained a with deep crimson red liquid that drips down his chin and onto his suit. a smirk litters his face as you can see the undeniably prominent fangs that stand out like a rose in a field of weeds.

"Jake.."

you shoot up out of bed, trying to understand what's happening. a loud bang makes you just about jump out of your skin and your window flies open, your curtains dancing in the night wind. you get up quickly and slam it shut before running back into bed and under the covers. your hands rake through your hair, pulling on it out of stress.

you just had a dream about Jake and he was.. inhuman. its not possible, it can't be. your hands move down to cover your face as you whine, realizing he wasn't just inhuman, but he was fingering someone, touching them in all the ways you wished he would touch you, and suddenly you start to think the most disgusting, vile thoughts of the man you've befriended less than two months ago.

thoughts ranging from kissing each other deeply, his hands all over you, touching your every nook and cranny you possess as he sucks deep, purple marks into your skin, his hands traveling down to the hem of your panties as he slips them to the side, sliding his fingers in and out of you ever so gently as if you were the most fragile little doll ever made

to him fucking you deep into the mattress, biting and grabbing you everywhere he could reach, his cock breeding you and engraving his shape into your body for all of eternity, marking you his as he carves his name into his creation, his little doll.

you feel disgusting as your fingers slip inside your underwear, dragging against your clit as you make yourself wetter at the though of Jake using you in every way possible. you slip down into the mattress as you begin fingering yourself, wishing he would come and replace your dainty little fingers with his long ones, stretching you and abusing your hole as if it were his own, and honestly, you wish he would come claim you.

"y-yun,,," you moan quietly, but much to your obliviousness, he hears your call, watching you from the darkest corner of your room, watching you unravel yourself just for him,, all because of him.

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"okay only two weeks until the project is due and we have to present, we just need to do revisions" one of your group partners says to the group. your head is in your hands, shielding yourself from the sun coming in through the windows. Jake puts a comforting hand on your back, luring you out of your almost-sleepy daze.

"are you okay?" he asks gently, his tone sincere. you turn your head to look at him, nodding with a small smile on your face. he looks at you as if he doesn't believe you, but doesn't push the issue.

"Ive done all my revisions, so im pretty much all done unless any of you need my help with anything" he says. you shift under his hand still rubbing your back.

"I'm all done too, ive been staying up late at night to get this done because I have other classes I need to focus on" you lie through your teeth. The real reason you haven't been getting sleep is because you have the same exact dream every single night, and it wakes you up at exactly four in the morning on the dot. its been almost three months now and you're starting to feel restless, and now with the new information that the man in your dreams is indeed Jake, you don't know how to feel. One thing you do know for certain is that you've begun to grow feelings for the blonde haired boy. The way he looks at you is alluring, and it the fact that the two of you have been hanging out almost every other day isn't helping your case. Whether it be studying for an exam, or watching a movie at home, you always find yourself with Jake as of recently. His presence is comforting, and you're beginning to become attached.

You feel gross for thinking it, but you've also been feeling a sort of urge with him. Thinking about how well he would fit inside you and how good it would feel. What kind of sounds would he make when he's fucking you. Would he moan, or keep quiet? Little to your knowledge, he's been thinking the same thing about you.

Would you writhe underneath him, or take his cock like the good girl he's come to be obsessed with. Would you whimper or scream? He wants all of you, especially the part he's most scared of taking.

You just smell so good.

He can't help but want to taste you. not only is your pussy making him want to do unspeakable things, but so is your blood. pure, innocent, and so full of life. your heart is also calling out his name without you realizing it, and so is his.

Even though his isn't beating or pumping blood throughout is body, he wishes it would beat just for you, all because of you. He still feels that red hot firework throughout his stomach and mind whenever he's around you, and all he wants to do is hold you and tell you how badly he craves you, needs you, wants you.

Your mind, body, and soul he wants to take for himself.

"lets go back to your place so you can nap, okay?" he says into your ear and you nod quicker than you can even think. He packs up his back as well as yours and carries them out of the building the four of you decided to study in for the day and head over to your apartment.

"y/nnnn" Jake says, throwing his head back as you look up at him through your eyelashes, you don't say anything, but pout instead.

"y/n please" you shake your head no, the pout not faltering.

"if I watch this with you, can you at LEAST let me teach you how to play Fortnite. All my friends are ass at playing" you groan, throwing your head back now.

"please please please please please-"

"FINE oh my god I just wanted to watch twilight for fucks sake you can teach me" you throw a pillow at him from your position on the floor before turning around to plug the dvd into the dvd player. you hear Jake snicker from behind you. you whip your head around with a glare, your lips sucked between your teeth.

"why on earth are you using a dvd player" he laughs.

"i'm going to strangle you." you say seriously, but Jake takes it as a challenge.

"oh yeah?" he spreads his legs apart slightly, manspreading on the couch as his arms are folded behind is head, and the way he's looking at you makes you feel hot and heavy, quickly.

"I'd like to see you try" your cheeks heat up, but you decide to stand up and charge at him anyways with a laugh. you jump onto his lap and your hands find their way to his neck, attempting to choke him out, but he grabs both your wrists in his one arm and flips your back onto the couch below you, hovering over your body.

suddenly, this game isn't funny anymore, as your thighs clamp down together as his face is only a couple mere inches away from yours. your lips part as you let out a shaky breath. you clasp your thighs together and Jake can smell the arousal pooling in your panties.

"Jake" there you go again, saying his name in the most beautiful, breathless and airy way possible. he drops his head down and shakes it, trying so hard to control himself.

"fuck,,, y/n.." he says quietly and you hum. he's eyeballing your neck, his own arousal and lust just about clouding his mind before a harsh knock scares you, making you jump in his hold. your arousal is stripped away from you as you turn towards the door.

"pizzas here" is all Jake says before letting you out of his grasp and heading towards the door, pulling out his wallet and saying for your pizza. you lay there while he's paying, trying to figure out what the hell that was. you felt so extremely turned on and Jake looked at you like he wanted to either kill you, or fuck you until you were completely braindead. You sit up as he puts the pizza on the living room table and the movie starts playing when you hit play on the remote.

The two of you watch in comfortable silence as you munch on your second slice of pizza.

"That's not how vampires actually are" he blurts out randomly. you turn to him and tilt your head in confusion

"what?" you ask him, swallowing your bite and putting the crust back into the box.

"not all vampires have powers, only the strongest of the strong have powers. its actually rare for a vampire to actually get their own individual powers, they're just fast and strong" he says in a matter of fact tone and it makes you wonder. It's odd how much knowledge he has about this sort of thing and he's talked about it before in front of you whenever you talk about mythical creatures.

"how do you know that" you look at him, turning your body to look at him fully as the movie becomes background noise.

"the internet is free, silly girl" he covers up his knowledge and shifts his gaze towards you, the movie pushed to the back of both your minds.

"that could be true, but we dont know for certain because its not real" you say trying to comfort yourself. Jake rolls his eyes with a small "sure" before smirking at you, leaning in towards your frame.

"what..." you say, leaning in the opposite direction. his hands come to either side of your legs, trapping you. one of his hands places itself on your waist and in less than a fraction of a second, he's ticking the life out of you as you scream for mercy.

"Jake pleaseeee let me go- pl- Jake please" you scream at him while laughing, writing under his fingers.

"nuhuh, you asked for this" he laughs with you and your hands fling up and around his neck, shaking your head from side to side. he stops ticking you and looks down, a smile still on his face. he collapses to the side of you after a moment of staring, and pulls you into his body by your waist, your head on his chest. your body relaxes into his hold and you nuzzle your face into him. this is the closest the two of you have gotten, and now he's finally holding you in one of the ways he's craved for what feels like eternity, and you could basically say that.

He's waited for someone like you to come around for hundreds of years, never being able to fall in love in the centuries of being on this earth, and he can't repress his feelings anymore as you fall asleep in his hold. Your steady breathing and the beating of your heart bring him comfort that nobody, and nothing else ever could. he kisses your forehead gently before groaning to himself.

He is so fucked.

he thinks to himself as he closes his eyes as he breathes in your scent, his arms around you tightening as if that would help protect you from all the evil in this world, including him.

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"Guys we got an A...." one of your group members says with a huge smile. you squeal and jump, giving your group mates a high five before Jake is pulling you into him from behind, giving you a huge hug.

"I knew we could do it, we're all way too smart for this class anyways" Jake says to everyone

"it helps that we had the smartest girl in school on our team too" he whispers in your ear as a deep shade of blush coats your cheeks. you turn around and slap his chest with an eye roll.

"be quiet" you shake your head and wave off your other, now past group members as they walk out of the class for the end of the semester.

"lets celebrate, wanna go get something to drink and go to the beach?" Jake asks and you look at him like he's crazy.

"Jake it's almost winter, what on earth are we gonna do at the beach?" you ask him, not quite rejecting his idea. he grabs your tote bag and slings it over his shoulder.

"I just want to look at the ocean and walk around, you don't have to come if-"

"No I want to, lets go" you grab his wrist interrupting him, dragging him out of the classroom and towards the campus cafe. The wind is chilly a sit blows your white maxi skirt, the hoodie Jake let you borrow a couple months ago keeping you warm. you turn to look at the blonde behind you before looking at him in surprise

"how are you not cold" you motion to the thin black t-shirt he's wearing. he shrugs his shoulders and pulls you to walk next to him instead of in front.

"I don't get cold often, remember?" he says, making the memory of him telling you that before front in your mind.

"oh yes I remember now, are you sure you're not cold?' he nods his head and looks to you with a reassuring smile before opening the door to the cafe, holding it open for you as you trot inside. you order a hot chocolate, offering Jake something but he declines.

The cafe is pretty, the walls a nice pretty green color with fairy lights littering the walls around you. it's not super busy especially for it being the middle of the day. Your drinks are finished and the two of you walk to the beach, not too far from the college. you grab his cold hand and lace his fingers with yours and urge him onto the sand, the water crashing down and meeting with the small grains to make a beautiful sound.

"its been so long since ive been to the beach, ive been so busy" you say and breathe in the salty air, and finish your drink, throwing it away at a near trash can and you start walking along the beach, avoiding the ocean water to not get your shoes wet. Jake follows you, walking a couple feet behind you.

Once you realize he's behind you, you stop and turn around to face him, questioning why he's walking behind you and not next to you. He stops in his tracks too, watching your body. Suddenly, an idea hits him as a shit eating grin makes its way to his face and you get the urge to run, watching the gears in his head turn. You spin around without questioning it and run away from him, and he takes off after you. You laugh and turn your head noticing how close he's gotten in such a short amount of time. You scream and pick up pace, but much to your avail, his arms wrap around your smaller frame and pick you up in the air. you kick your feet trying to get out of his hold, but he's strong, keeping you in his arms. He spins you around and throws himself on the ground, your body falling on top of his with a squeal.

"oh my god Jake, didn't that hurt?" you laugh and he shakes his head. you rest your chin on his chest as he lays in the sand, admiring how perfect his facial structure is. the way his blue eyes

blue eyes?

glitter in tune with the crystal ocean water. he brings his hand up to you, pushing the stray hairs out of your face and behind your ear. you shift on top of him and he feels every inch of your body very quickly. the way you smell is overwhelming and the way your warm, beautiful body is pressed against him pushes his senses into overdrive. his eyes change from blue to a deep red and within the fraction of a second, he's pushing your back into the sand with a small yelp coming from you, his face is in your neck, inhaling your scent deeply through his nose and out of his mouth. you whine, shifting uncomfortably underneath him as you wrap your arms around his neck, your fingers finding his hair.

"Jake..?" you call out to him, but he doest hear you as he bites down on his bottom lip, hard as an attempt to control himself. he groans into your skin and it sends vibrations throughout your body. one of his hands is on your waist, his fingertips digging into your skin, but you can't feel it.

You pull his head up to look you in the eyes, but when you see him, your lips part and you become breathless.

Hes so incredibly handsome, but he looks like he's in pain. his nails dig into your skin and you yelp, tightening your grip in his hair without realizing, making him moan and fall into your neck again.

"j-jake?? are you okay?" your worry makes him want to split you open and fuck you right there in the sand, but he can't. he wont hurt you. He shakes his head and tightens his grip once more before letting you go gently, standing up and looking down at you, a harsh look in his eyes as he speaks.

"I can't y/n.. I can't- fuck..." he cocks his neck away from you and walks away, so quickly it's almost as if he disappeared. you lay in the sand, awe struck and trying to figure out what the hell just happened. you lay there for a few minutes, wishing he would come back, say something- anything to you. your suspicions grow with every passing second and before you could let your mind go into overdrive, you get up and brush the sand off. on your walk home, you try and think of something else, anything to take your mind off the raging, burning hot pit in the bottom of your abdomen. you bite your lip so hard, it starts bleeding when you approach the door of your apartment.

You slam the door behind you and lock it. you throw off your clothes, suddenly feeling hot despite the cold weather. you get in the shower, trying to wash yourself clean, but no matter how many pumps of body wash you use or how red you scrub your skin, you feel dirty.

Does Jake not want to be around you because he figured out you have a crush on him? or even worse... you want him to use you? fuck you? you groan and throw your loofa on the ground and turn off the water.

after getting dressed and drying off your hair, you think about what to eat for dinner, but instantly feel nauseous at the thought of eating, so you just turn on the tv to distract your brain, but the phone on the corner of the table is calling your name.

You stare at the device before scooping it up to see if Jake texted you.

Nothing.

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The red universe has now become your second home as you find yourself here once again. the water isn't as cold as it normally is, it's actually quite warm. you clench your jaw with an eye roll and begin to walk around, looking for the familiar blonde boy and the mysterious woman in white.

it feels as though you've been walking around for hours before your eyes land on the familiar scene, only this time, its clearer.

he's once again on his knees with her in his arms, his hand is slipped under her night gown, her moans echoing off the chambers of your skull, a pang of jealousy hits you straight in the heart as you scowl.

he lifts his head and turns to you, the blood of the woman staining his lip and clothes, the same black suit has undertones of red and you tense at the eye contact. his fingers work faster inside of her as she turns her head, looking dead at you as you gasp.

All these nights of waking up with your clit pulsating and your mind as tired as can be finally all make sense as you look at the woman

a perfect mirror

its you

"no,,," you whisper

"oh yes" he chuckles darkly, and you go to turn your head because when he spoke, the voice wasn't coming from Jake himself, but from behind you.

when you turn your head, your body freezes as you're now on the ground exactly where the mirrored version of you was and you moan loudly at the quick ripples of pleasure that flow throughout your body, caused by jakes fingers working inside you, pumping your walls as you become as wet as the ground beneath you.

you turn your head to look at the man above you. his eyes are a deep, vibrant red and even though its dark, his pale skin is shimmering as if you're in a room full of lights.

"Jake.." you whimper to him, his eyebrows pinch together and suddenly he looks like he's in pain, giving you the same exact look he had given earlier at the beach.

he lowers his head to your neck, and bites down.

Your moans pick up volume as they fill your dark room, the moonlight cascades in through your window as jakes silhoutte is illuminated perfectly, his shadow pours down onto the bed where you moan his name in your sleep so prettily.

You fling yourself out of sleep, sitting up with heavy panting, your chest heaving up and down. Jake looks at you as you awaken, his figure looming over you as he stands at the foot of the bed. you feel anothers presence and decide to look up and that's when you see him. his eyes are as red as they were in your dream, and there are prominent eye bags that soil his perfect skin. the spaghetti straps on your white nightgown fall off your shoulders and your hair is a mess. with parted lips, you breathy call his name, but he doesn't move, nor does he speak.

"Jake please..." you call again. he bites his lip and shakes his head.

"I can't.." his pained voice responds finally after your plea. you feel your eyes burning and your clit is throbbing more than it ever has in your life, your forehead is starting to get glossy as sweat begins to rise on your skin. you shake your head, not understanding the meaning of all of this, the dreams, him running away, why he's so cold all the time but can't feel it, his eye color changes, why you've never seen him eat, or drink.

Why can't you read him?

"I don't understand, Jake please" you whine at him and it drives him crazy, falling head over heels once more. his hands make their way up to his hair as he tugs on it out of frustration.

"I'm in love with you y/n." his words vibrate your body, your eyes widening when you understand them.

"but I can't be with you."

"why?" you cry out to him, begging him to do anything, touch you, hold you, feel you. you need something, you need him more than anything.

"I can't hurt you. I wont do it." he turns around looking out of the window, and for the first time in his pathetic life, he feels his eyes sting, his thirst increasing with every passing second.

"I want you, please. you could never hurt me, I don't want you to go, Jake I-" you cut yourself off as he turns towards you, his hands dropping out of his hair to dangle by his sides.

"I love you" he scoffs, not believing you.

"you love a person who kills people in order to survive." you shake your head in disbelief, knowing this would come sooner or later.

"you love a person who has been resisting the urge to take you since the first moment he's laid his eyes on you, y/n." his voice is dark but somehow sweet. you shake your head again, denying his words.

"you love a monster."

"you're wrong. I love you Jake, I love Sim Jaeyun, I need you please- please don't leave me" you squeak out the last bit of your sentence. your eyes pleading him to stay. the arousal only growing stronger the longer his around you and he can sense it.

"I don't care that you're a vampire, I don't care about any of it I just need you, im begging you Jaehyun. stay with me, please. I can't imagine myself without you I dont want that" you get up on your knees, crawling over to his body that stands near the edge of the bed. his lips are parted, giving you a full view of his fangs that you've never ever seen before.

if he had one, his heart would have been shattered in his chest with the way you're looking at him; worried and completely heartbroken. he would rip it out and gift it to you on a silver platter if it meant he could be with you with no risks. so the venom coursing through is veins at rapid speed replaces his heart. he's never felt hot in his life up until this moment, where the woman he's been waiting for for centuries is begging for him. his eyes hold pain as they meet yours.

His hand moves up to grip your chin softly, ghosting his fingers along your skin before cupping your cheek, caressing your face with his thumb.

"I won't hurt you y/n. I can't.. imagine having an existence without you in it, but I refuse to cause you any pain. I wont do it" his voice is stern, a single tear falling from his eye and down his cheek in frustration. you want him to understand how badly you need him.

"you could never do such a thing, please, im begging you please don't leave me.." your eyes reassure him. it takes a moment of silence and a lot of thinking before he speaks, finally giving you an ounce of hope.

"if I stay here with you, y/n, you'll never be able to leave. you're life will forever be different. if you want me to stay, you'll be marked as mine, permanently. do you understand love?" he gives you the final opportunity to back out, and some sick part of him hopes you will stay. you nod your head in his grasp, but that's not enough for him.

"words, sweetheart."

"I want you and only you in this lifetime, and all the ones after, I promise. I'm yours" you say in a whisper, and that's exactly what Jake wanted to hear. he bends down so his face is right in front of yours

"I love you" he says quickly under his breath before his lips capture yours in a deep, heated kiss. giving up on the last bit of restraint he had. this kiss was one filled with so much desire and longing that it makes you whine into his mouth, and he happily swallows it. his free hand moves to the outside of your thigh, and before you realize, a flip switches in Jakes mind as he's picking you up by the bottom of your thigh, his huge hand swallowing you as he pushes you up farther on the bed, pinning you down. his teeth scratch your bottom lip as your teeth crash against each other. your hands fly to his hair, gripping on his blonde locks to keep you from floating out of your body. his hand then moves towards your knee, spreading your legs apart.

His hand slips up the silk of your night gown, his fingers met with the flimsy lace fabric of your panties that are soaked through and through. he growls lowly before he speaks

"you drive me so. fucking. insane." is all he says before pulling the fabric to the side and dipping his freezing fingers in your wet folds. you break the kiss as your eyes fly closed, white hot pleasure coursing through your veins as he rubs concentrated figure eights on your slit. your mouth slacks open in a perfect 'o' shape. Jake takes this opportunity to dip his face in-between the skin of your neck and shoulder, sucking the prettiest shade of purple into your soft skin. he can now hear your blood flowing.

he licks a stripe up the junction of your neck and collarbones and towards your ear, biting down on the lobe which causes you to arch your back into him. Jake takes this opportunity to plunge two long fingers into your tight cunt, and he chuckles at how tight you squeeze his digits. you turn your head to face him and he detaches from your neck, looking down at you.

your face buries itself into his neck, finding comfort in his cool skin against your hot face. your moans muffle against him as you flutter around his fingers deep inside of you.

he curls his fingers up, grazing your sweetspot perfectly and you moan his name rather loudly.

"let me hear you my darling" you detach from his neck and open your eyes, looking into his red ones as your parted lips moan his name in the most sinful chant he's ever heard. his fingers twist and curl into you faster, making your hips buck up into his palm.

Jake sits up and uses his free hand to push your hips down into the mattress, keeping you from moving.

"stay still" he commands, and you obey. Jake slowly sinks down onto the bed as his fingers pull out of you. you whine in protest, but quickly hush your mouth when he pulls your red lace panties down your legs with his teeth, his fangs on full display. you clench down on nothing at the sight and he sees this, chuckling darkly.

he throws your legs over his shoulders as he pins your hips down with one of his hand, the other coming to trace the slit of your pussy, gently rubbing a circle around your clit every time he makes his way back up. you groan in frustration after a minute passes, but that's quickly cut short as he forces two of his digits inside your pussy, curling upwards instantly to scratch your g-spot. you attempt to thrust your hips forward, but are met with the rough forcefulness of jakes hand keeping you pinned to your silk sheets.

his teeth graze your clit, his hair in his face making you feel the coil in your stomach form. you yelp when he bites down, sucking afterwards to soothe the pain as he begins to eat you out. his tongue is fast against you, the sweat forming on your body creates a beautiful glow on your skin and Jake can almost swear that you walked straight out of a painting. the most beautiful painting ever created. the moonlight cascades down over his figure, his jawline sharp as it moves when he laps at your cunt like a starved animal-

-and that's exactly what he was. your legs wrapped around him in a desperate, failed attempt to suffocate him as you squirm underneath his tongue. fast, wet, and cool as he fucking you from the inside out. his fingers splitting you open as they work inside you. your walls squeeze him tight and he wonders how you'll ever be able to take his cock.

"y-yun,, m'- ffuck" you moan out to him as you grip the silk sheets on either side of you. Jake can't get enough of how sweet you taste. the perfect girl having the most perfect taste, what more could he ask for? He groans into your pussy, his fingers pulling out of you to wrap around your legs, the hand on your abdomen mimicking the others actions as he pulls you into his face. if he could breathe, he would be suffocated. a part of him wishes he could be suffocated because this right here is the closest he's going to be getting to heaven ever. especially with the sinful thoughts that have collected in his head since he met you. he's the devil himself when it comes to you.

You gasp at his actions, gripping his hair tightly between your fingers and grind onto his face. his long tongue fucks itself into you, pulling out to lick, suck, and bite your clit at a perfect rhythm that has your back arching and Jakes name dancing off your tongue creating the sweetest harmony that fills his ears. your juices spill out of his mouth, much to his dismay, and down his chin and onto the bed, soaking the sheets under your ass. your legs shake in his tight grip, your grinding onto his face becomes sloppy as your moans become whimpers. your pussy flutters, and Jake takes note of this. His eyes watch you as he tips you over the edge, spilling all over him as he brings you to your first orgasm. you cream around his tongue as you squirt liquids everywhere. your breathy whine of his name makes his eyes roll into the back of the head with a groan that sends vibrations throughout your body starting at your cunt. he helps you ride out your high, slowly licking and sucking your clit to comfort you on your way down.

you collapse onto the bed as he stands up at the foot of your bed and you hear a click. his belt coming undone as you sit up on your forearms, eyeing him. You're breathless as you stare at the man before you. his eyes glow a deep red and the moonlight hits him perfectly as he takes off his belt in one quick motion, holding it in his hands staring at you.

"so pretty..." you say under your breath towards the creature before you. he chuckles at your words and throws the belt above you on the bed. you go to turn and look at it, but the feeling of his hands wrapped around your ankles prevents you from doing so as he yanks you down to the foot of the bed where he stands. you yelp in surprise as you're face to face with his chest. he grips the base of your jaw in his huge hand, forcing you to look up at him.

"I wan'.. to... want.." your words trail off, not knowing how to word what you want. he tilts his head to the side and brings his hand to the side of your face, cupping your cheek

"tell me what you want baby" his thumb caresses the soft skin, comforting you.

"I wan' you to... taste me..." you whisper and his ears perk up. he sighs, shaking his head.

"oh honey, I wish I could. I really do... but I can't.. I'll hurt you.. I'll lose myself" his hand entangles in your hair, massaging your scalp softly. you whine, shaking your head and furrow your eyebrows. you look up at him and place your fingers in the loop bands of his pants.

"please, yun.. please please please I want you to, need... please plea-" he quickly forces your nightgown above your head and throws it in the corner of the room to be forgotten before his hands find your hair again, yanking it back as you interrupt yourself with a loud scream at the pain. he forces your back down onto the bed as he reaches above you to grab his belt. he ties your arms above your head and around the bed post quicker than you can contemplate. he stands back up at the foot of the bed, watching you squirm under his gaze. he laughs at your helpless figure, finding it way to amusing how easy it is to get you to submit to him.

"you look so cute when you squirm around, my dear" he says unbuttoning his suit jacket and sliding it off, revealing the silky dark brown collared button up. he tilts his head at your whine as he unbuttons the dress shirt painfully slow, sliding it off of his arms to reveal his pale skin and toned body and your mouth waters. he slides the silky material off of him and shoots you a toothy, shit eating grin. one full of lust that makes your thighs clamp together. he unbuttons his dress pants and unzips the zipper, so slowly as if to taunt and tease you.

he slides his pants down passed his ankles and kicks them away, his boxers shielding you from seeing what you want the most. you whine again, signaling him to hurry. he shushes you and pulls his boxers down. his cock springing up to slap against his abdomen, precum leaking from his pink tip. he's huge. long and girthy as you wonder how the fuck that was going to fit inside you. everything about him is perfect, and he just now proved that to you. he crawls over your small frame, his hands enveloping your waist as he caresses your bare skin. the cold air hits your nipples, making them perky and hard, goosebumps littering your skin.

Jake takes his fingernail and presses it against your upper hip on your stomach, his eyes never looking away from you. before you could realize what was happening, he scratches you, hard. you let out a soft yelp at the sudden pain, blood trickling out of the fresh wound and slowly down your hip bone, pooling on your skin. he does it again with his other hand, above the other hip. you yelp, arousal pooling in the pit of your stomach once more and Jake can smell it. his eyes widen as he continues to look at you.

"god, look at you. such a messy, disgusting girl. you're enjoying this hmm?" he says before he cuts you open again. you moan at his words and the pain. your face heating up in embarrassment because what he said was true. you feel hot tears in the back of your eyes you feel so embarrassed, but in a good way. he takes note of your glossy eyes and pouts at you.

"no need to cry sweet thing, ill take care of you." Jake leans over you and kisses your tears away. his kisses trail from your cheeks, down your collarbones and in-between your breasts and down your stomach. he smells your blood before he looks at it, so close that he can basically taste it. his hands find your waist as he holds you in place, his tongue darting out of his mouth to lick the smallest bit of blood off your stomach. His mind goes into overdrive as white hot pleasure rips through him. you're the sweetest thing he's ever tasted, and it makes him want to suck you dry as you struggle underneath him. his grip around you tightens as his long tongue licks up your blood from one of your wounds completely, his lips latching around the cut as he sucks. your walls clench around nothing as you pull at the restraints around your wrists.

he groans into your stomach, your sweet taste covering all his senses as he moves to lick another fresh cut. the way you taste, he will never ever need anything else ever again. nothing could amount to you. you grind your hips into his body as his mouth moves to the final wound, licking it clean and when you look down, surprise overwhelms you as the deep cuts he made are completely healed up scars.

as you look into his eyes, you see Jake for exactly what he is; a vampire. that doesn't scare you away, however it turns you on even further. he quickly pushes himself above you, his lips crashing against yours as he bucks his hips into you, his dick pressing against your heat but not quite going in. you whimper into his mouth, a plea for him to fuck you. you can taste blood on his tongue as you grind against his length, begging him, needing him to use your body.

so that's exactly what he does.

He grabs his cock in his hand and presses it against your entrance, pushing his tip inside of you. you hiss at the stretch, tugging at your restraints. you whine from underneath him. his face finds its way to kissing your neck, littering your skin with his lips. he pushes his dick inside you slowly before bottoming out, his balls slapping against skin.

"so tight, so good baby,, feels like fucking heaven" he says, taking his cock out before pushing it back inside you, his tip instantly kissing your cervix in the sweetest way possible. you scream in pain and pleasure, his dick filling you up perfectly. he lifts his head from your neck so his lips ghost over your skin, breathing hot air on you making you shiver, goosebumps rising to your skin. you squirm in his hold, his hand coming to your waist to hold you in place as the other comes to grip the headboard above you.

His thrusts start off slow and gently, making sure you keep up with his rhythm. your walls flutter around his cock, driving him up the wall before his pace increases, thrusting into you faster and faster, the breathing on your neck giving you chills now as he moans into your neck. your boobs jiggle up and down with every thrusts while your moans begin to sound broken as you choke them out.

Jake licks your neck, making you moan even louder than before and you finally feel scared for the first time, wondering how it's going to feel when he finally sinks his fangs into you. will it hurt? you don't know, but you can't wait to find out. your legs shake and thrash around, and your jaw slacks open in a perfect "o", inhumane sounds spill from your lips as you beg for something you're not even sure of.

Jake growls against your skin, the grip on your waist increasing until his fingernails break the skin of your hips. the smell of blood hits his overdriven senses and he finally bites.

as he sinks his teeth into you, a blood curtailing scream is ripped from your throat, white hot pain shoots down your body in ripples as he sucks the blood out of you through your neck. you kick your legs under him, not sure if you're trying to get away, or make him chase you.

your scream of pain is replaced by pleasure as his venom spreads through your veins, your entire body feels like its on fire and you've never felt so good in your entire life. you pull at the restraints as you shake in his hold. his hand on your waist wraps around your back, pulling you into his body as he thrusts up into you.

Everything becomes too much and you can feel every inch of your body. even with jakes arm wrapped around you, you arch your back somehow closer into him, trying to fuse your body into his, wanting nothing more than to feel complete. you press into him with all your strength, wishing hard enough that you could intertwine your body with his own in order to finally feel as if you were one. he wasn't close enough even though he was all over and in you, spreading through you like ice. you want nothing more than to be whole with him in every way possible.

your pussy flutters around him as the knots in your tummy begin to unravel. your moans change and Jake picks up on it, noting how your body starts going limp in his hold. With much force, and an internal battle, he detached from your neck, moving his face to look into your eyes.

He looks handsome, your blood dripping down his chin, his lips stained the most beautiful shade of red. you being painted all over him.

"Let go baby im right here, I got you" is all he says before you let go, Jake being the one to catch you when you fall. the way you clench around his cock milks him dry as he cums inside you. the both of you orgasm in unison, your mixed fluids coming to hit the bed beneath you. Jake fucks you through your orgasm, it's not enough. he's not close to being done with you.

you harshly tug at the belt, your wrists feeling raw. you need to touch him, bring your sweaty body closer to his. He takes notice of your begging face and the tugging at your bonds. you look at him with teary eyes as he gives you a genuine pout. his thrusts not faltering as you feel another coil in your stomach begin to form.

"please, please please please please" you beg him before his arm unwraps itself from your body, undoing the belt in one quick, swift motion. he throws it across the room as it lands on the ground with. a clank. your now free hands fly to his back, your fingers digging into his skin, pulling him closer.

He kisses you deeply, your blood smearing on your face now. he bites your lip with a groan before rolling his eyes. His hand grabs your hips and forces you off the bed, his dick slipping out of you. Jake flips you over on your stomach as he moves behind you on your knees.

One of his hands grips your throat and forces you to sit up, your back pressed against his front. he bends his head down to your ear and whispers sinisterly.

"who owns you, pretty girl?" he asks and you gulp.

"you do" you answer and he smiles.

"that's right darling, such a good girl hmm?" he says. his cold body feels good against your burning one. its like you were made for each other. the moon and the sun, water and fire, two halves of the same whole.

He likes your neck, the one that has yet to be bit. you shudder at the feeling of his tongue on his skin before he gently nips you, the smallest trail of blood rushes down your neck, collarbones and down your breast.

His free hand snakes around your body, pressing two fingers against your clit, rubbing circles on your bundle of muscle. you moan, pushing your back against him. Jake licks the blood on your neck before biting down harshly. Another scream exits your throat as you jump, trying to get away from him, but your attempt to run is unsuccessful as he presses your ass against his dick, his strength overpowering you. the hand on your throat squeezes tighter, making you light headed as that overwhelming and familiar feeling of icy pleasure goes off in your body, spreading quickly once again and you're a moaning mess as you fall apart in his hands.

your body starts feeling like jelly, so Jake unlatches his mouth from your neck and pushes you down on your stomach, your hips hitting the soaked bed beneath you. His body crawls over your limp one. his arm snakes under your body and around your breasts to grip your neck once more, his other hand forces your thighs apart before grabbing his hard cock in his hand and pushes it inside you.

Your quiet mewl fills jakes skull as he groans at your sounds spilling from your mouth. his dick pushes against your sweet spot that has you a moaning, pathetic mess underneath him. your fingers lace inbwetween the bedsheets as you fist them in your palm.

Jakes thrusts are relentless, fucking himself inside you at an animalistic pace. the two of you are so disgusting and messy, the smell of copper and sweat leaks through the walls. you can feel is breath against your ear again as he moans into you, his sounds have you clenching around him, fluttering like an innocent little butterfly as you begin to lose all train of thought, your eyes beginning to look dead as a trail of drool exits from the corner of your mouth.

"aww, my precious angel, you look so adorable when I'm fucking you dumb" he coos at you, his teeth nipping at the skin of your neck behind your ear. you take his words with a clench around his dick, making him moan loudly. his grip on your throat tightens as does the one on your hips.

"takin' my cock so well, its like you were made for me pretty" his teeth sink into you one last time as he drinks your sweet liquid, the overwhelming pleasure coursing through your veins once more as you become overstimulated with everything around you. your body attempts to crawl away from him, but he doesn't let that happen

"s' too much, can't, please I can't" you beg, hot tears spilling from your eyes as saliva drools out of your mouth. he chuckles at your attempt to run

"you can take it sweetheart, doin' so good for me baby, you can do it" he says, his venom causing you to spill over the edge as his hips snap against your ass ruthlessly, fucking you into the mattress that you wouldn't be surprised if there is an outline of your body engraved in the plush material. you're also pretty sure the skin is red where his hips meet the flesh of your ass. you mewl as broken sobs fill the room along with the sound of skin slapping. the knot in your stomach snaps as you're creaming all over his dick, milking him dry as he shoots ropes of cum deep inside of you. his head falls onto your shoulder as he preps your skin in kisses as you come down from your conjoined highs. your bodies interlaced for all of time with the way he's marked you in more ways than one.

you're his and he's yours.

your eyes close as sleep overwhelms your mind as your breathing steadies. Jakes venom starts to exit your blood stream, making you unbelievably tired. Jake kisses your shoulder blade once more before you fall asleep.

"goodnight, y/n" is all you hear before you pass out in his arms.

.¸¸.♡.¸¸.☆¸.♡.¸¸.☆.¸¸.♡.¸

When you wake up, it's still dark outside, meaning you've only been asleep for a little bit now. you sit up and look around. the bed is clean, there are no marks on you from what you can see, and you're dressed in your white nightgown. your mind instantly goes into panic mode, worried that everything that happened between you and Jake was a dream. Your head fills with anxious thoughts before you lift your eyes to the window across the room, seeing Jake's silhouette cascade through your room thanks to the moonlight. you sigh to yourself before standing up out of bed, but you almost collapse onto the floor with how week you are. Jake hears your struggle and turns around, noticing you awake, he walks over to you, embracing you in his arms gently.

You look up into his now dark brown eyes, admiring how handsome he looks in this exact moment, your pupils dilate and Jake swear he can feel a pang in his chest. you wrap your arms around his neck and bite your lip anxiously, not knowing what to say.

"what's the matter my love?" the nickname calms you slightly, putting your thoughts together before you speak.

"that wasn't a dream... right..?" you ask shyly and Jake smiles at you.

"it was very much real baby" his fingertips trace the beautiful purple and red marks on your neck, and the bite scars that follow along with it. you let out a deep breath you didn't know you were holding. his hand cups your cheek and you lean into his comforting touch, closing your eyes. your mind goes against you as begin to overthink again, worried that he would leave you now that you know everything. as if he read your mind, he speaks.

"I've waited centuries for you, y/n. I'm not letting you go." he says before kissing your forehead.

"you're mine" he kisses your nose

"and I'm yours" he brings your hand up to his mouth and kisses your palm

"forever"

[yjw1a1]

𝑩𝑨𝑩𝒀  𝑩𝑶𝒀  /  𝑺𝑰𝑴  𝑱𝑨𝑬𝒀𝑼𝑵

𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝𝐧’𝐭 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐚𝐫𝐠𝐮𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞, 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐩𝐮𝐩𝐩𝐲 𝐞𝐲𝐞𝐬 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐨𝐮𝐭, 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐬𝐢𝐠𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐩𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐨𝐧 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐩𝐬, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐨𝐥𝐝𝐞𝐝 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐚 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐬

Everyone kind of saw your boyfriend, Jake, as the babygirl in the relationship; the one to be spoiled, taken care of, and loved on constantly. And to be fair, they weren’t exactly wrong. He was your baby. The one you’d drop everything for, the one you’d die for. You’d do anything to make him happy, and he knew it, taking full advantage with those wide, pleading eyes and that cheeky grin that could get him anything he wanted.

But what people didn’t see was the way the roles would sometimes reverse.

Because there were moments, many moments, actually, where Jake completely flipped the script. He wasn’t always the clingy, whiny, spoiled one. No, there were times when he’d turn it all the way around, going above and beyond to baby you instead, never letting you lift a single finger, doting on you as if you were royalty. And when you finally sat him down, hands holding his face as you begged him to just relax and stop doing so much for you?

He never listened.

"Jakey, seriously-"

“Mm-mm.” He’d shake his head, placing a finger against your lips with a playful smirk. "You take care of me all the time, babe. Let me do this for you, okay?"

And you couldn’t even argue because every single time, those puppy eyes would come out, that signature pout curving on his lips, and you folded like a house of cards. The moment you gave in, that innocent pout would shift into a triumphant smirk, and before you knew it, he’d be dragging you along somewhere, his next surprise already planned.

It was the little things, too. The way he could take the most mundane moments and make them feel like a fairytale, the way he never let you sit in boredom for too long, always finding ways to entertain you. Whether that meant teasing you endlessly, poking at your sides just to hear you squeal, or pulling you into his lap and demanding your attention because he was your boyfriend and you were legally obligated to adore him 24/7.

Sure, Jake was your babygirl. But more often than not, he was also the one making sure you had everything you needed, never letting you go without, proving that underneath all his teasing and clinginess was a boyfriend who would literally carry the weight of the world if it meant making your life easier.

Like right now.

“Sim Jaeyun, just come back for the rest,” you called, watching in amusement as he hauled every single grocery bag from the trunk, arms flexing under the weight as he refused to do a second trip.

"Shut up and just open the front door, woman," he shot back, jaw clenched as he balanced a watermelon on his hip like it was a toddler.

You couldn’t help but laugh, shaking your head as you stepped aside and let him inside. He really was something else. The perfect balance between boyfriend and best friend. The type to poke fun at you at every given opportunity, but also the type to kiss away your pout before you could even think of being mad at him.

And it was little things like that that made your heart swell.

Like when he’d text you while out, giving you barely five seconds to respond before fake-threatening to leave you empty-handed.

"hey dummy, i’m coming home soon, need anything?" "reply now or i’m leaving the store." "fine. ignore your loving boyfriend who just wanted to do something nice for you."

And yet, even when you did ignore his texts, he always came home with something anyway. A snack you’d been craving, a new hoodie he saw and just knew you’d love, or even a single flower, just because he felt like getting you one.

And when he placed it all in front of you, arms crossed, lips forming that exaggerated frown, demanding an apology in the form of babying him back?

Yeah, you’d just roll your eyes and pull him into your arms, rubbing his back like a child as you cooed, "My poor, neglected Jakey. How ever will you survive without my attention?"

And the second you started babying him? That pout disappeared, his smirk returning, his arms wrapping around you as he buried his face into your neck.

Yeah, you spoiled him.

But, God, did he spoil you right back.

[yjw1a1]

rebirth | s.jy

synopsis | after years of fighting and growing apart, your relationship with jake is hanging by a thread. you’ve tried to fix things, but it’s always been one step forward, two steps back. what you’d didn’t expect was that having a baby could be the thing that gives you a real chance at starting over.

pairing | boyfriend! jake x fem! reader

content warning | smut (mdni) + reconciliation + angst + fluff if you squint + unprotected sex + swearing + pregnancy mention

the car was dead silent. you sat there, seething, arms crossed tightly across your chest, staring out the window as the city blurred by. the same damn argument again. you could feel the heat of anger still crawling through your veins.

jake sat next to you, gripping the wheel like it was the only thing keeping him from losing his shit. his eyes stayed glued to the road, mouth set in a hard line. he hadn’t said a word in at least ten minutes, and at this point, you weren’t sure if he was waiting for you to cool down or just hoping you’d both drop it.

you hated how this always went down. he’d come home late, every time the same excuses, the same apologies that felt like nothing more than words he was saying because he thought he had to. you didn’t know how many times you had to tell him that actions spoke louder than apologies, but he never seemed to hear it.

the worst part was how long it had been since the two of you had spent any real time together. you couldn’t even remember the last time you were happy together, without ending up arguing.

you hated this. hated feeling like the last thing he cared about. but you weren’t sure if he even realized how deep this ran for you. instead, you were here, heading to his mom’s, like everything was fine, like you weren’t both completely pissed at each other. the silence was killing you both.

this morning, you both had woken up calm, but as soon as jake told you to get ready to see his mom, everything shifted. you weren’t angry about visiting her, you were angry because he was so casual about it, like nothing had happened. like last night’s argument didn’t exist. like you hadn’t gone to bed fuming and he hadn’t fallen asleep with his back turned to you.

you weren’t against seeing his mom, but the way he said it so nonchalantly, as if everything was fine, made your blood boil. it wasn’t fine. nothing was fine.

jake slowed the car, pulling into the driveway. you could see his mom’s car parked out front, the same way it always was when she was home and could hear the muffled sound of dogs barking from the neighborhood.

the car stopped, but neither of you moved. you both just sat there.

jake finally exhaled, dropping his head back against the seat. “are you still mad?”

you ignored him, twisting in your seat to check the back. your brows furrowed, eyes scanning the floor before you turned back to him. “where’s the bag?”

jake blinked at you, clearly not following. “what bag?”

you shut your eyes for a second, already feeling your blood pressure spike. “the pink plastic bag for your mom, sim jaeyun. i told you to grab it before we left.”

jake frowned, shaking his head. “no, you didn’t.”

your fingers dug into your arms. “yes, i fucking did. it was on the counter. i literally told you right before we walked out the door.”

jake leaned back in his seat, rubbing his forehead. “well, i don’t remember that. if you told me, i would’ve grabbed it.”

you let out a short laugh, but it wasn’t amused at all. “are you serious? you never listen! like ever!”

jake let out a slow, pissed-off breath. “jesus christ, it’s a fucking plastic bag.”

you turned to him so fast he actually blinked. “it’s not about the bag, dumbass! it’s about the fact that you don’t fucking listen to me. ever. i ask you to do one simple thing, and somehow, it’s too much.”

jake scoffed, shaking his head. “oh my god. here we fucking go.” he unbuckled his seatbelt like he was about to get out, but your patience was officially gone and you threw open the car door before so hard it bounced a little.

“forget it.”

jake let out a heavy sigh, trying to keep himself from saying something worse. you didn’t wait for a response, you slammed the door shut and started walking toward the house. the cold air hit you, but it wasn’t enough to cool the anger simmering under your skin.

behind you, you heard his door open and shut, his footsteps following, but you didn’t slow down.

“are we seriously doing this right now?” jake’s voice was low, frustrated, but not loud enough for anyone inside to hear.

you didn’t answer. you just kept walking.

“jesus christ.” he muttered under his breath, picking up his pace until he was right beside you. “you’re really gonna act like this over a fucking bag? it’s like i forgot your birthday or something. it was a plastic bag.”

that made you stop. you turned on him so fast he actually took a step back.

“stop saying it’s about the fucking bag, jake,” you snapped, your voice sharp but still quiet enough to not cause a scene. “it’s about the fact that you don’t listen. you never listen. and then you act like i’m crazy for being mad about it.”

jake ran a hand through his hair, exhaling, trying to stay patient. “i don’t freaking do it on purpose—”

“but you do it.” you cut in. “over and over.”

for a second, he didn’t say anything. just stood there, looking at you, jaw tight. then, he shook his head and scoffed, shoving his hands into his jacket pockets. “whatever. i don’t have the energy for this right now.”

you let out a humorless laugh. “yeah? neither do i.”

you turned and walked up the steps, ringing the doorbell before he could say anything else. jake stayed behind you, silent now, probably trying to pull himself together before facing his mom.

the door swung open, and like muscle memory, you forced a smile. it wasn’t real, not even close, but at this point, you were on autopilot. just going through the motions, pretending everything was fine when it really fucking wasn’t.

jake’s mom beamed, her usual warm energy filling the doorway. “well, look who finally showed up!” she said, hands on her hips. “i was starting to think you two forgot about me.”

you forced a smile, stepping inside. “of course not.” you said as you hugged her briefly.

jake leaned down, wrapping an arm around his mom’s shoulders. “hey, mama,” he said, his voice noticeably softer than it had been with you all day.

his mom squeezed him, pulling back with a smile. “it’s so good to see you, jake. you’re looking well.”

he exhaled. “traffic was bad.”

she waved a hand like she didn’t care. “as long as you’re here now. come on in, i made plenty of food.”

jake’s mom, bless her heart, had already prepared for this visit. the whole house smelled like her cooking, and there was a soft hum of background music coming from somewhere in the kitchen.

jake’s mom, bless her heart, had already prepared for this visit. the whole house smelled like her cooking, and there was a soft hum of background music coming from somewhere in the kitchen.

jake’s mom set down a plate in front of you before taking a seat across the table. “so, how have you been handling everything at home?” she asked, giving you a knowing look.

you glanced at jake for a split second before forcing a small smile. “it’s been fine. same old, you know.”

she hummed, cutting into her food. “jake tells me he’s been working late a lot.”

you let out a small, dry laugh. “yeah, you could say that.”

jake glanced at you, but you ignored him, taking a sip of your drink instead.

his mom sighed, shaking her head. “that boy works too much. i keep telling him he needs to slow down before he burns himself out.”

you set your glass down. “i’ve tried telling him the same thing, but he doesn’t listen to me either.”

his mom nodded, giving jake a pointed look. “i just don’t want you to overdo it, honey. you’re working all the time, and you’re not getting any younger.”

jake exhaled through his nose, already over this conversation. “i’m fine, mom.”

but she wasn’t done. “you know, speaking of…” she said, tilting her head slightly, “when are you two going to give me a grandbaby?”

jake choked on his drink, coughing into his sleeve. you froze for half a second before blinking.

his mom just grinned. “i mean, i’d love to spoil a little one before i’m too old to chase after them.”

jake dragged a hand down his face. “mom—”

“what?” she said, all innocent. “it’s a fair question.”

jake barely reacted at first, just sat there with his hands on his lap, slouched in his seat. but then, as his mom kept talking, he glanced at you. it wasn’t much, just a quick look, like he was expecting you to roll your eyes or shake your head, the same way you did whenever his mom brought up something ridiculous.

but you didn’t.

you just sat there, eyes fixed on your plate, quiet. and something about the way you looked, not pissed, not annoyed. in your eyes there was something different in them, something softer. a little flicker, a kind of sparkle he couldn’t quite place.

had you thought about it before?

that was a stupid question. obviously, you had. but had you thought about it with him?

he barely heard what his mom was saying anymore, his focus entirely on you. his fingers twitched slightly against his thigh.

you must’ve felt him staring because you finally turned your head, locking eyes with him. for a moment, neither of you spoke.

your brow lifted slightly and jake blinked looking away fast. he cleared his throat, shifting in his seat. “mom, can we just eat?”

his mom laughed, shaking her head. “alright, alright. i’ll let it go.”

but jake wasn’t sure if he could.

dinner went on, conversation moving to his mom’s garden, some neighbor’s drama, a show she was hooked on. you played along, nodding and laughing where you had to, and so did jake, but his mind was stuck on something else.

that look in your eyes.

jake didn’t know what the fuck to do with that.

by the time dinner wrapped up, you were in the kitchen with jake’s mom, drying dishes while jake stayed at the table, glued to his phone. he hadn’t said much all night, just scrolling through his phone.

his mom handed you another plate and looked over at him. “that boy’s always on that damn phone,” she muttered as she worked. “works too much, too. tells me it’s all just part of the job, but…”

you glanced at jake. he wasn’t even looking up, still absorbed in whatever was on his phone. “yeah, i know,” you said, kind of offhand.

jake’s mom let out a small sigh, shaking her head. “he needs to make more time for other stuff, you know? for you. for… whatever else.”

you just shrugged, drying another plate. “i’ve tried,” you said, quietly.

but jake, even though he looked like he wasn’t paying attention, actually was. he was listening to every word. he kept his face blank, not moving, but his attention was all on you two.

his mom paused, watching you for a second before asking, “how are you, though? really?”

you shrugged, trying to sound fine. “i’m good.”

“i didn’t make you uncomfortable with the baby talk, did i?” she added, quieter now, as she dried her hands.

you quickly shook your head. “nah. no, it’s fine.”

but there it was, the tiny shift in your eyes, just for a second. you weren’t exactly telling her everything, but she saw it. she noticed. she wasn’t going to push, but she was curious.

“have you thought about it?” she asked after a pause.

you hesitated, your fingers tightening slightly around the dish plate. “maybe…” you admitted quietly. “just… not sure if now is the right time.” with things so messed up with jake, of course it wasn’t.

the thought had crossed your mind. how could it not? every time you saw kids playing outside, every time you passed by a baby section in a store, every time a friend shared pictures of their little ones, you wondered. what would it be like? would it change things? would it fix things? but the reality hit you just as fast as the thought came.

let’s be real, jake hadn’t touched you in what felt like forever. it wasn’t just the lack of intimacy; it was everything that came with it. the distance, the exhaustion in his voice when he got home late, the way he barely looked at you some days. there was a time when he couldn’t keep his hands off you, when just passing each other in the kitchen would turn into something more.

now? now, it was like you were just existing in the same space, nothing more.

“i don’t think i would even be a good mother.” you forced a small smile, trying to brush it off.

jake heard it, loud and clear. his fingers stopped mid-scroll, and his shoulders tensed slightly.

his mom set down the dish towel, frowning. “why would you say that?”

you let out a small laugh, but there was no real humor in it. “i don’t know. i just…” you shrugged.

“oh, sweetheart, you’d be a great mother.” her hand approached your shoulder and left a small squeeze.

you swallowed, gripping the dish plate a little tighter. you smiled a little, but it wasn’t real. she didn’t see the whole picture. how lonely it felt sometimes. how every conversation about spending more time with jake turned into an argument and never went anywhere.

they just ran in circles until you both got too tired to keep going.

jake didn’t say it enough. heck, he barely said it at all anymore, but he thought about you all the time. how you held things together. the way you handled everything working, running the house, dealing with him, even when you probably shouldn’t have to.

and hearing you say that you didn’t think you’d be a good mom? it hit him hard. he wasn’t sure if you knew, but to him, you were everything. if anyone could do it, could be a great mom, it was you. you could handle it. you could handle anything.

but had he ever told you that? had he ever shown you? all the stuff you did, all the sacrifices, and how much he appreciated it?

no, he hadn’t. he realized that now. he hadn’t been there like he should’ve been. the late nights, the ignoring, all the times you tried to reach out and he pulled away. how could you believe him if he’d never shown it? how could you believe anything he said if he didn’t back it up with actions?

the drive home was dead quiet, like always. you weren’t even looking at him, just staring out the window, arms crossed, fingers tapping against your sleeve, like you couldn’t wait to be anywhere but here.

jake kept his eyes on the road, hands gripping the wheel a little too tightly. he wanted to say something, maybe break the silence, but he didn’t even know where to start.

when he pulled into the driveway, you didn’t wait. you unbuckled your seatbelt, got out, and shut the door a little harder than necessary. jake stayed in the car for a second, watching you walk up to the house, before sighing and following.

inside, the only light on was the dim glow from the kitchen. the house felt cold, lifeless, probably because it had been for a while now. you kicked off your shoes, didn’t even glance at him, and headed straight for the bedroom. jake exhaled, rubbing a hand down his face before locking the door behind him.

he wasn’t sure what hurt more, the fights or the distance. but either way, it felt like losing.

jake followed you into the room, standing in the doorway as you began to take off your coat, dropping it onto the chair. his gaze followed you for a moment, the silence between you both heavy, almost suffocating. he didn’t want to press, but the words slipped out before he could stop them.

“why didn’t you tell me?” his voice was low, almost like he was asking himself as much as he was asking you.

you paused, glancing over your shoulder at him, brows furrowing slightly. “about what?” you asked, genuinely confused.

jake pushed off the doorframe, stepping into the room a little more, his gaze not leaving you. “about the kids?”

you sighed, shaking your head as you pulled off your earrings, setting them down on the dresser. “it was just a dumb thought” you muttered, not even looking at him.

jake watched you for a second, his jaw tightening. “didn’t sound dumb to me.”

you let out a small, humorless laugh, finally turning to face him. “yeah? well, it is.” your arms crossed over your chest. “not like it matters anyway.”

his brows furrowed slightly. “why wouldn’t it matter?”

you exhaled, shaking your head. “jake, come on. look at us.” you gestured vaguely between the two of you. “we can barely have a conversation without it turning into an argument. you barely even look at me.” your voice was calm, but there was something tired underneath it.

jake stared at you, his fingers twitching at his sides. he wanted to say something, argue, deny it, tell you it wasn’t dumb. he wanted to tell you that he saw you all the time. that even when he came home exhausted, even when he was distracted, even when things were tense between you, he still saw you. he noticed the way you hummed under your breath when you cooked, the way you pulled your sleeves over your hands when you were tired, the way you always waited up for him even when you pretended you weren’t.

but what did any of that matter if he never said it? if he never showed it?

then, you sighed, rubbing at your temple. “jake, i don’t wanna do this right now.”

you changed into your pajamas and climbed into bed, facing the wall. you could hear the faint sounds of jake moving around in the other room, pacing once or twice before finally settling down somewhere.

minutes passed.

then an hour.

and still, you couldn’t sleep.

“how would you name them?”

you blinked, staring at the ceiling. for a second, you thought you imagined it. jake’s voice was quiet, coming from your side. you hadn’t even heard him lay next to you.

you turned slightly, just enough to glance at him. his head was already turned looking at you, his expression unreadable.

“what?” you asked, your voice softer than before.

he exhaled through his nose, shifting his stance. “if we had kids.” he paused before speaking again. “how would you name them?”

your fingers curled slightly into the blanket. you weren’t sure if he was asking just to ask or if this actually meant something to him.

you swallowed, then looked away. “i don’t know.” jake didn’t push, but he didn’t drop the conversation either. neither did you. “…maybe something classic. nothing too complicated.”

jake nodded slightly, like he was thinking about it. “like what?”

you hesitated, then shrugged. “i always liked names like—” you stopped, suddenly self-conscious.

jake tilted his head slightly. “like what?”

“i don’t know. maybe something that lookalike our names or—” you hesitated again, then shook your head. “it’s stupid.”

jake shook his head once. “hey it’s not stupid.” he was watching you, with something different in his eyes now. something quieter, something softer.

you glanced at him, then quickly looked away. “yeah.”

a beat of silence.

“what about a girl?”

you exhaled, staring up at the ceiling. “why are you asking me this?”

“i don’t know,” he admitted. “i just… want to know.”

the room felt heavier now, but not in the way it usually did after a fight. this wasn’t resentment or frustration hanging in the air, it was something else. something uncertain.

you shifted on the bed, pulling your knees up slightly, resting your arms over them. “it doesn’t matter. it’s not like we—” you stopped yourself, shaking your head. “never mind.”

jake didn’t let it go. “not like we what?”

you sighed, looking down at your hands. “not like we’re in the place to even think about that.”

“why not?”

you could feel the weight of his stare, the way he was waiting, pressing for an answer. you swallowed hard. “jake,” you started, your voice almost flat, like you were forcing yourself to say it. “we don’t even kiss anymore.”

“can i kiss you right now then?”

your stomach dropped. you weren’t expecting that, not so direct, not so steady. his voice was low, but there was no hesitation in it. he wasn’t teasing, wasn’t playing around. he was serious.

you blinked at him, feeling suddenly too aware of how close he was. you could see the way his fingers curled slightly against his knee, the way his breathing was just a little heavier than before.

“i’m just going to bed, jake,” you said quickly, your voice tight. you turned away, trying to put space between you, but before you could lie down, his hand wrapped around your wrist.

“come here,” he muttered, pulling you back toward him.

you let out a quiet, startled breath as you shifted, and suddenly, he was closer, closer than he had been in a long time. his grip wasn’t rough, but it was firm, keeping you right in front of him. his face was inches from yours now, his eyes locked onto yours, watching your every move.

your breath hitched. his hand was still around your wrist, his fingers warm against your skin. you could feel how steady he was, how he wasn’t rushing, just holding you there, watching you.

“jake…” you started, but your voice was barely above a whisper. you didn’t even know what you were trying to say.

he didn’t say anything. he just let go of your wrist, his hand trailing down slowly, his fingers barely grazing against your palm before resting on your thigh. his touch was warm, grounding, but not hesitant. he was waiting.

you swallowed, your throat suddenly dry. his face was so close now, his breath mixing with yours, warm and slow. you could see everything, the way his lips parted slightly, the way his eyes flickered down to your mouth for just a second before coming back up.

a shaky exhale slipped past your lips. you weren’t even sure if you meant to do it, but it filled the silence, made it feel more real.

then, so quietly you almost didn’t catch it, he asked again, “can i kiss you?”

you inhaled sharply, but before you could answer, he moved. his hand slid up your thigh, slow enough that it sent a shiver through you, stopping at your waist as he pulled you even closer. you barely had time to react before his lips brushed against yours, just barely, not even a full kiss yet, just a ghost of a touch.

you made a soft sound, something caught between a sigh and a whimper, and that was all it took. jake’s fingers tightened at your waist, and then he kissed you for real, pressing his mouth against yours, warm and firm and just a little desperate.

you gasped softly against him, your fingers twitching before reaching for him, gripping onto his shirt. his lips moved against yours, slow at first, savoring, but there was tension beneath it, something deeper, something that had been left untouched for too long.

he exhaled sharply through his nose, his other hand coming up to cup the side of your face, his thumb brushing against your cheek.

you could hear the way your breaths mixed together, how your heart was pounding so loudly it almost drowned out the quiet creak of the mattress as he shifted pinning you down.

when he pulled back just slightly, just enough to look at you, his lips were parted, his breathing uneven. his forehead nearly touched yours, and he swallowed,

he looked at you like he was memorizing you, like he was seeing something he wasn’t sure he deserved to touch.

“you’d be a good mom..” he said suddenly.

your breath hitched and you stared at him. you weren’t expecting that.

his thumb brushed over your cheek slowly. “i thought about it,” he admitted, sliding up to your jaw, tilting your face slightly. his touch was so gentle it almost hurt. “i think about it more than i should.”

your chest ached. he was looking at you like he was seeing it, like he could picture it so clearly, it hurt.

“i don’t know if i would’ve been a good dad,” he admitted, voice barely above a whisper. “but you? baby, you would’ve been everything.”

your breath caught. it was the first time he’d called you that in a long time. “jake…”

“you take care of people even when they don’t deserve it. even when i don’t deserve it.” he let out a small, breathless chuckle. “i fucked up so bad, didn’t i?” his lips pressed together before he looked at you again.

jake swallowed. his thumb traced a slow, barely-there circle against your skin. you closed your eyes, inhaling shakily.

“can i hold you?” his voice was quiet, careful. “just… for a second?”

you hesitated. but then you nodded.

and jake didn’t waste a second.

he pulled you in, wrapping his arms around you like he was afraid you’d disappear if he didn’t hold tight enough. his hand cradled the back of your head, his breath warm against your skin as he exhaled shakily. “i’m sorry, baby,” he murmured against your hair. “i’m so fucking sorry.”

and for the first time in a long time, you let yourself sink into him.

jake pulled back slightly, his gaze intense, searching yours. “you think having a baby right now’s gonna make this all go away?” his thumb brushed along your jawline gently. “maybe it won’t fix everything, but it’d damn well give us something real to work toward, something we could both look at and know we’re doing this for something better.”

“we can’t avoid the fact that we need something, baby. we can’t just keep pretending everything’s fine. this…” he let out a breath, his hand dropping to your waist, pulling you closer. “this thing between us, what we’ve been doing. it’s broken, and i know it. but you, baby… i know we can fix this. i want to fix this. and i want you with me while we do it.”

his words hung in the air, the quiet pressure in his tone making it clear that he wasn’t asking. he wasn’t waiting for you to decide for him, either. it was like he already had his mind made up, like this was the path he was going to push for, whether you were ready or not.

“i need you to be on the same page as me, sweetheart,” jake said, his voice dropping lower. “i need you to trust me, like i trust you. no more running, no more acting like we don’t both feel this.” his hands moved down, pulling you even closer, his chest against yours, his breath warm against your skin.

jake’s body shifted against yours, and you felt something hard press against your thigh. the suddenness of it made your heart race, and the space between you seemed to close even more. his breathing was heavier now, his eyes locked onto yours, waiting for any reaction.

jake’s body was shaking, his breath coming out in short, desperate gasps. he was right on the edge, every part of him trembling as he held you close.

“fuck..” he groaned, his voice wavering. his breath was hot against your ear, desperate and whiny. “i need this… need you to—shit, baby, don’t stop… please.”

the bed creaked with every movement, the sounds of your bodies colliding filling the room. jake’s breath was ragged, quick gasps escaping his lips as his body pressed against yours, sweaty and trembling.

his hands slid over your skin, the sweat making everything feel slick. “god, you feel so good..” he whimpered, his voice cracking with the effort to stay in control. “i’m close… so fucking close.”

he kissed you deeply, his lips trembling against yours, and he groaned at the sight of you, perfect, needy, ready to break.

“you’re gonna have my baby..” he whispered, as he buried his face in your neck “i’ll give you everything. just let go, baby. come for me, and i’ll fill you up… i need you to… please.”

the bed creaked once more, the sound louder as he thrust deeper. jake’s voice was trembling as he fought to hold himself back. the sound of his voice, so weak, so strained, made you shiver.

“hey, hey… look at me.” he murmured, gripping your chin to make you look at him. “mine. you know that, right?”

you nodded weakly, barely able to form words as he kept squeezing his dick deep inside of you. you hair was a mess and you could barely snort the strands that were getting in your face

“what do you want?” jake asked, hi grip on you tightened as he thrust deeper, his breath ragged against your ear.

you tried to answer, but the way he pushed deeper stole your words, leaving only a shaky gasp.

“a girl?” he murmured, his lips brushing against your ear. “i bet she’d look just—” another thrust, harder this time ”—like you.”

you could only moaned in response, fingers tangling in his hair as he moved against you, completely lost in the moment.

“you want to get married?” he looked down at you. you nodded quickly, the sensation overwhelming as he hit just the right spot. “yeah?” he urged, wanting to hear you say it.

“fuck yes” you breathed, your response coming out desperate and filled with need, lips parting as another moan slipped free.

his teeth scraped against you jaw before he kissed you hard, swallowing every sound you made. his breath hitched as he pulled you closer, his hands shaking slightly with urgency.

“come on, baby… let me feel you.” jake murmured, his voice trembling with a mix of need and desperation. “i need you..” he rasped, his voice almost breaking. “need you to come for me. please, baby… i need to feel you.”

your breath came in shallow gasps, and your body shuddering with the pleasure he was giving you. “jake…” you moaned, your nails digging into his skin as you clung to him.

“fuck—baby—” His voice cracked, his grip on your hips tightening like he was afraid to let go. “I c-can’t—shit, I’m gonna—”

he was so deep, his body stiffening against yours as he let out the neediest whine, his forehead pressing against yours. his skin was burning, damp with sweat, muscles twitching from how hard he was holding back.

the bed rocked with every movement, the headboard knocking against the wall as jake’s body tensed, his breath coming out in short, desperate gasps. his hands were shaking, his fingers digging into your skin.

“you f-feel so—shit—so tight, baby, i’m—” he choked on his words, his whole body trembling as he buried himself as deep as he could, letting out a broken whimper.

the second he spilled inside you, he groaned, his body collapsing against yours, completely spent. his breath was hot against your neck, his arms still wrapped tightly around you like he never wanted to let go.

jake was still panting, his chest rising and falling against yours, his body completely hot, damp with sweat.

“shit…” he let out a shaky breath, still buried inside you, his body jerking slightly every time he shifted. he was sensitive, too sensitive, but he wouldn’t pull away. “you feel so good…” he murmured, voice weak, breathless. “so fuckin’ perfect, baby.”

the bed still creaked beneath you, both of your bodies slick with sweat, sticking to the sheets. jake groaned when you shifted even a little, his hands gripping your hips tighter. “d-don’t move..” he whined, voice barely holding together. “i’m too..fuck—too sensitive.”

his head fell against your shoulder, his lips brushing against your skin as he sucked in a deep breath. “you okay?” he mumbled, fingers tracing circles on your hip, still twitching from how hard he came.

when you nodded, his grip loosened just a little, but he still wouldn’t pull away. “i don’t wanna move..” he admitted, voice muffled against your skin. “wanna stay like this… keep you full.”

you traced your fingers along his back, feeling the way his muscles twitched under your touch. “you really meant it?” you whispered. “about the baby?”

jake lifted his head just enough to look at you, his eyes half-lidded, still dazed. “of course, i meant it.” he murmured. “i want it so bad, baby. wanna see you all round with my kid.” his voice cracked slightly, his hands sliding up your sides, as if he was trying to memorize the way you felt right now. “you’ll be so fucking pretty… carrying my baby.”

your breath hitched, your legs instinctively tightening around him. “jake…”

his lips ghosted over yours, his voice barely above a whisper. “say you want it too..” he pleaded. “tell me you’ll give me a baby.”

you swallowed, heart racing. “i want it..” you admitted softly. “i want everything with you.”

jake let out a shaky breath, his hands trembling where they held you. “fuck..” he whined, pressing his forehead against yours. “i love you so much. i swear, baby, i’ll take care of you.”

you smiled slightly, brushing your thumb against his cheek. “you better.”

he chuckled breathlessly, his lips pressing against yours in a slow, desperate kiss. “i will…” he promised. “forever.”

[yjw1a1]

cherry popper aftermath — jake

jake x reader

adult content featured - please read at your own discretion

went overboard so say hello to dom jakey

two days. two days of ignoring your best friend. it wasn’t easy as jake knew your schedule and hiding spots so well.

and it all came to an end when jake caught you coming out from the science building.

“avoiding me?”

“ah!�� you squealed nearly falling into the bush next to you.

jake reached out, pulling you to his chest by your hands, avoiding and catching your fall. “careful there clumsy.”

you quickly pulled away, not wanting to be touched by him. not because you didn’t want it. no, because you craved it.

ever since you let jake, your best fucking friend, take your virginity, all you could think about was that tongue and fucking hands of his.

“jake, hey,” you quickly fixed your clothes, “what brings you here?”

jake pointed to the science building. “i have class right after you here, remember?” he chuckled.

“oh, right, right.” you nodded. “well, i should get going before i’m late for class.” you pointed off towards a random direction.

“your next class isn’t for another hour.”

“did i say class? i mean before i’m late for a studying session.” you quickly covered and used your thumbs to point towards the opposite direction. “gotta go!” you squealed and took a fast exit away from jake.

once you were a good ways away from the classroom building, you stopped speed walking to catch your breath. you closed your eyes and mumbled out, “that was close.”

“what was close?” a man’s voice asked from behind you.

you twirled around, hands up like you were ready to fight, a small shriek of surprise leaving your lips. heeseung laughed at your reaction.

“lee heeseung!” you scolded, punching him in the shoulder. “you can’t just sneak up on a girl like that!” you laughed.

heeseung laughed even more, “im sorry but i couldn’t resist.”

“what do you want?” you asked when your breathing went back to normal.

“jake has been pouty lately.”

“and that has to do with me because?”

“it started happening after you dashed out his bedroom, half dressed and never talking to him again.”

your lips went into a line. “how did you know i dashed?”

“it was the middle of the night, i had a full bladder and got hungry.”

caught. yes, after you had sex with jake, (your best friend!), he fell asleep and you dashed! half naked, not even thinking about the consequences because you were too in your head.

“you’re over thinking the whole situation aren’t you?” heeseung laughed, showing off his pearly smile.

“no, no, no i’m not.” you said shaking your head, crossing your arms.

“three no’s, all different tones.” heeseung tapped his chin. “your voice went an octave higher with that second no, then deeper with the third.”

“because i had something in my throat!” you defended.

“i know how to get your mind off jake and the situationship.”

“one there is no situationship, and do if you say to have sex with you, i wont hesitate to punch you, lee heeseung.”

heeseung grabbed his chest. “ouch, that stings. and to think we had something special.”

you rolled your eyes, but couldn’t help but smile. “it was a kiss.”

“and a very good one at that.”

“what’s your plan?”

“let’s go to a party tomorrow night.”

you walked off with heeseung, walking to a nearby cafe on campus, both of you failing to realize jake was watching the entire conversation and interaction.

well at least you failed to realize jake had actually skipped class to catch up with you, only for his friend to intercept.

jake was seething. only seeing red, blinded by jealousy. what, you let him fuck you and that’s it? was it just so you could go off to heeseung?

jake sim was jealous.

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

from jakey the bestie: can you please stop ignoring me? i miss my best friend.

your heart dropped reading jake’s text that night after your shower. you were really being a terrible person right now ignoring jake.

your best friend.

he’s not the one to judge you, never judge you. you were being immature and rude about the whole situation. why can’t you just own up to it? communicate how you feel rather than hide?

because jake was your best friend and you had feelings for him.

yes he had said he felt something towards you, but was that actual feelings or just lust? just the want to take your virginity?

jake was sweet, but he was also a play boy.

you sighed heavily. “you doing okay?”

you looked up seeing heeseung still chilling on your couch. “dude, i thought you left already?”

heeseung had came over to help you with your assignments you had jake helping you with. “you looked like you needed company.”

“i’m fine heeseung.” you gritted through your teeth. “you’re clingy.” you scrunched your nose.

“what’s wrong with being clingy?”

“it’s not a attractive to a girl you’re not dating.”

“then let’s date.”

you scoffed. “yeah, no, i’ll pass. you’re reputation is just as bad as jake’s, if not worse.”

you were too busy in a conversation you hadn’t realized you were still in your oversized towel from the shower. suddenly feeling a chill, you motioned your hands towards the front door.

“you’re a terrible host.” heeseung teased, grabbing his belongings.

you began opening the door, “it was nice having your company but now—,”

you stopped in your tracks. because at your door, with their fist up ready to knock was, jake.

“jake?” you asked in a tiny voice.

jake looked at you, to heeseung, back to you, noticing your towel. “been busy, huh?”

“yes, studying.” you gripped the door, feeling the jealousy radiating off your friend. almost like when he found out you and heeseung made out at a party.

“in a fucking towel?”

“i just got out of the shower! he was supposed to be gone! wait—,” you stopped, shaking your head, “why am i even trying to defend myself? it’s none of your business.”

“it is my business who you fuck when it comes to my friends. when it comes down to me taking your fucking virginity and you go and give me the silent treatment for no reason.” jake spat. “what? wanted me to break you in for heeseung?”

“watch it.” heeseung stood tall next to you. heeseung knew how jake could get about you. overprotective and very jealous.

but heeseung wanted you two to talk it out. so he may have texted jake saying he was over a girls house, then perhaps posted a story on his social media account with him chilling on your couch—with an identifiable back ground.

jake was smart and he quickly put two and two together. he just wasn’t banking on him getting here so fast, you in a towel, and you opening the door with him standing there.

jake literally growled. “i fucking told you guys she’s off limits.”

“she can make her own decisions jake.” heeseung spat back. “stop being a dick to her. she’s not your property, she’s your best friend. and don’t worry, i was just here to help her with her assignments. that’s all.” heeseung adjusted his backpack. “don’t worry, me and her are just friends, okay? she doesn’t see me in that way; she’s already friend zoned me plenty of times.”

heeseung walked out of your apartment, brushing by jake’s shoulder, purposely bumping into him. heeseung turned around one last time, “if you need me because this prick cannot behave, call me.”

you nodded shyly and heeseung walked to his car. jake had his fists balled to his sides, biting his lower lip.

you sighed in annoyance, turning around in your apartment to walk away. if jake wanted to come in to talk your door was open.

the door slammed behind you. you turned around ready to rip one into jake, when his full lips founds yours. kissing you harshly, desperately. his grabbed your face in his hands, holding you close so you couldn’t get away.

he couldn’t let you get away again.

his tongue begged for entrance, but you wouldn’t allow it. not until one of his hands went down your backside and gripped your bare ass, his nails digging into your flesh.

you yelped and he took the opportunity to stick his tongue down your throat.

he was in heaven swapping spit with you. you were sure if you were to remove your lips from his, a line of slobber would connect you two. his teeth nibbled on your bottom lip as well.

when he finally pulled away, taking your bottom lip inbetween his teeth, pupils blown, breathing heavy.

“fuck cherry, so, so good.” jake whispered. before you could say anything, he connected your lips again and pulled, no, yanked, the towel off your body leaving you naked.

“jake—,” you pulled away.

“your room, now.” jake’s expression darkened. when you didn’t move, he turned your body around, spanking you harshly.

“ouch!” that would definitely leave a mark.

“be a good girl and listen to your bestie.”

you swallowed, nodded, and rushed to your bedroom. you’ve never seen this side of jake. didn’t even know he had this side to him.

jake saw the thoughts running through that head of yours and he laughed, walking up to you as you sat on your bed naked.

“what? thought i was just some subby boy? girls think that about me a lot, until they piss me off.”

jake stalked closer to you, taking off his shirt in one smooth move throwing it on the bed. then he removed his belt, “be good, or i will have to use it,” he threatened, placing the belt neatly on the bed next to you.

“unbutton my jeans.”

with shaky hands, you reached up to his button and quickly but clumsily unbutton and unzipped the jeans. jake looked down at you with his big eyes, tongue licking his lips, loving the sight in front of him.

“take my cock out, and suck it like the fucking whore you are.”

“jake, im not a wh—,”

he reached over to grab his belt, but you quickly placed your hand on his to stop him. looking down, you quickly did as you were told.

when jake’s cock met your tongue, he let out a big moan, sending a shock straight to your core. “fuck cherry, such a wonderful mouth.”

jake’s hand went to the back of your head, making you deep throat and gag. “no other man will ever get to know the feeling of this.” jake sighed in pleasure, using your mouth as he pleased. “you’re mine, and you’re going to learn that, baby. that mouth, that pussy, all of you belongs to me!”

as jake rambled, he was fucking your face, slobber dripping out of your mouth. when he looked down and saw you, he stopped. “i’m sorry, you just make me so crazy.” he apologized, sticking his thumb into your mouth, pressing down on your tongue. you sucked his thumb.

“sorry i ignored you jake.” you coughed out trying to get your breath and head back.

“show me how sorry.” jake smirked. “lean back and open your legs for me. i’m hungry and i’ve missed you.”

you did as you were told once again, and jake wasted no time at all, to dive between your legs, tongue lapping up what you had to offer. with your hands spread out beside you, you gripped your comforter as jake worked his magical tongue against your folds.

see this is why you’ve been ignoring him. and for what? because you knew if he did it again, this would be it. you would be hooked and eventually get your heart broken.

“so good and all mine.” jake whispered happily, throwing your legs over his shoulders. he spat at your cunt, and went back to eating and licking like a starved man.

your stomach began to tighten, and you felt your thighs beginning to feel sore. “jake i—,”

“you can do it baby.” he encouraged, and placed two fingers inside of you, sucked on your clit, while his other hand pressed down on your stomach.

“oh, oh, OH!” you screamed as you came. hoping your neighbors were not home and could not hear you.

jake continued lapping you up, and your body shook from the orgasm and overstimulation. you pushed him away.

“jakey no more, please.”

jake tsked. “you haven’t had my cock yet.” he stood up, pulling you to the edge of the bed. your hips at the edge of the bed.

he let his pants and boxers drop to his ankles and he stepped out of them. it’s only been a couple days, yet you forgot how thick he was. you threw your head back and groaned.

you thought you couldn’t take it, “jake—can’t,”

he rubbed your hip bones, his tip teasing at your entrance, “you can and you will take me, babygirl.” he was being so mean but encouraging at the same time.

“breathe for me babygirl,” he said as he pushed through your tightness. “like last time baby, it’ll feel better.”

you bit your bottom lip, as jake pushed all they way in. more like bullied his way in. this time, he wasn’t slow with his pace, his hips snapping back and forth from the start, your body bouncing back and forth from the thrusts, your bed squeaking at the speed.

“baby, cherry, jakey isn’t going to last much longer. i’ve been so hard for you the past few days. aching for this pussy. wanting to bend you over every surface and have my way with you.” jake grumbled out, as his thrusts quickened and deepened.

“don’t you ever ignore me again, babygirl. i’m actually going easy on you. most girls who piss me off get tied up, and don’t get to orgasm. but you aren’t most girls aren’t you?”

jake was very blabby when it came to this. but you didn’t mind.

jake pulled out, “on your knees. i want to see your ass while i come in you.”

with the energy you could muster up, you flipped on your stomach, jake helping you left your hips as he plunged back in, your knees on the edge, your gripped your comforter.

“after this, i’ll eat this pussy and fuck this pussy wherever, whenever. in the library—fuck—in between classes, at parties, in my car,” jake couldn’t even finish his sentence but you came and he came right after filling you up with his load.

you groaned and almost sobbed. sobbed because your chest began to hurt. hurt from the feelings and the pain you would soon have to face.

jake pulled out, his come leaking out of you, and you collapsed onto the bed. “not yet babygirl, we need to get you cleaned up.”

jake picked you up in his arms, your face going to hide in his neck. he carried you to the bathroom, sitting you on the counter. your body began to shut down, exhausted.

he gripped your chin in between his fingers. “no, no, baby you gotta pee and i need to wipe you with a warm cloth.”

you pushed his hand off your chin, moving your head away, “no need to be nice, jake, i know i’m just another fu—,”

“don’t you dare finish that fucking sentence.” jake snapped, grabbing your cheeks in his hand, squishing them. “i meant what i said,” he gripped your thigh with his other free hand. “you’re mine, only mine. in return, im all yours.”

jake kissed your forehead, releasing your cheeks. he leaned his forehead against yours, eyes looking into yours.

“all yours.” you smiled.

“all mine.” he repeated and kissed your lips.

consequences be damned.

ᓚᘏᗢ

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i am a believer in dom jake when you piss him off or make him jealous