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accidentally ran into the literal coolest person on this earth

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the key to this is to make them so upset they leave you so you spend the next year searching for new friends to argue with for next year. the cycle will continue

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god fuck it

Consider yourself tagged if you are reading this:

Make this picrew of yourself

Take this uquiz (How Fandom Would See You If You Were A Fictional Character)

Thank you for the tag @machiavellli !

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My friend said this but this is a very important point that yall need to understand.

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discussions about the friend that samus invites to hang out sometimes

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tfw = two fucking weiners

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Open wide, dirty boy~ Mommy wants her shoes cleaned, but not with shoe cleaner. Tend to my toes with those Muppet Lips of yours, and maybe I will reward you with my Cum Secret

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>MEOW

Play as a robot catgirl named K0tya who is trying to help her Master locate the missing lab rats (ignore the fact that said Master's forgetfulness is the reason they are missing in the first place).

Explore the research facility that you live in and find those missing critters before the morning shift starts, or your Master gets in trouble.

Contains swearing and suggestive language.

Made in RPG Maker 2003.

>>> DOWNLOAD HERE <<<

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Last night, I dreamed there was this really popular youtube channel called “WolfpackDan”, and it was a guy who literally lived with a pack of wolves in the forest, just documenting daily life.

Now, I need you to understand that Dan was not some sort of Coyote Peterson type. He looked and dressed like someone who would pretend to get drunk off of non-alcoholic beer and say “bruh” unironically. He looked like the “bro I am straight up not having a good time” guy. But there he was, literally living in the forest with a wolf pack, recording and uploading videos with his phone.

One of his videos opened with him talking to the camera about “yeah, the pack went hunting today and just made a kill”. He turned his wrist to pan his phone over his shoulder, where four wolves are pinning down and tearing into a whitetail buck who is two gasps away from death.

“We’re actually hoping to make two kills today,” he added, panning his phone the other way to show two more wolves latching onto a second deer. “The Old Lady’s pups are growing really fast and it’s getting harder to provide for them. Once they can join the hunt, that’ll be a huge weight off everyone’s shoulders.”

He panned back to the first deer, where the wolves were now tearing into the meal. “I’m really hoping they’ll leave the pelt on this one intact,” he said. “I need a new cape. Winter is coming, guys.” 

The last shot of that video was him running through the trees with the pack, with a still-bloody deer hide draped over his shoulders.

I can’t remember any more of his specific videos, but the gist I got from them was that he actually was a contributing member of the pack (hence the “we”) and had been raised at least partially by the wolves themselves. Not sure how they raised him into this dudebro-looking twenty-something with a name like Dan, but they did?

Where did he get his phone? How did he pay for his data? Who taught him English? Why did he dress like that?

I have so many questions for WolfpackDan.

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Are you trapped on tumblr right now?

Is there something you planned to do before you got trapped in the endless tumblr scroll?

Are you yelling at yourself to get up and do the thing, but you can’t, because you’re trapped in the endless tumblr scroll?

Consider this your save point.

Put tumblr down, stand up, stretch, and go do the thing you planned to do. Future you will be incredibly grateful.

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What assigned English class book did you viscerally HATE (the most)? I tried to make it general by some authors since curriculums vary.

Any Charles Dickens book

Any Shakespeare Play

Any Greek Epic

The Great Gatsby

1984

A Scarlet Letter

Lord of the Flies

Frankenstein

Other (if it's farenheit 451, I'll burn you)

I didn't viscerally hate any English class book