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“It Was Me All Along”

“Don't you think that being so afraid has made you feel exquisitely alive?”

The meaning of this quote is that if you are afraid of someone or afraid to do something, you are scared because you genuinely think something bad will happen to you. Afraid is filled with fear or regret about an unfortunate event.

Jeffery Deaver is one of the famous authors who writes good novels, he was born on May 6, 1950 in Illinois, United States. Jeffrey is an author with more than forty novels, and three collections of short stories, these novels have made him appear around the world. His father is an advertising writer, while her mother is an artist. Jeffrey’s sister, Julie Deaver, is also an author like him and she is making young adult novels. “Afraid” is an original short story written by Jeffery Deaver. The characters in the short story are Antonio, Marissa Carrefiglio, Olga, and Lucia.

Antonio and Marissa met at an art gallery a month before everything happened. After both of them hung out for a month, they decided to spend their long weekends together at Antonio's vacation house. Before going there, Marissa felt that Antonio was suspicious because of the "crazy woman" she met and asked her about Lucia. When they reached their destination, they toasted and ate. Then Antonio went down to the wine cellar and got the wine. Marissa is curious about Antonio's wine cellar, so as she steps forward, Antonio shuts it and says it's not clean there. As she walked down the wine cellar, she noticed things related to his story, which she had told Marissa. A searing wave of panic raced through her and pooled in her belly; she had to escape. Lucia, the woman in the photograph with Antonio, died last year. Marissa connects and analyses everything that happens, and her heart is pounding. According to Antonio, fear creates beauty, but it opens people's eyes and rearranges their views and perceptions. The only difference is that instead of musical notes or painting, his medium is fear when those who have lost the true path of life consider the mission to help.

Antonio helped Marissa in deciding her life path. It's a tremendous help for Marissa, but he shouldn't have been involved in her life because what he did may have scarred her. When Marissa got out of his vacation home, she could have phoned the cops on him, resulting in Antonio's arrest. Antonio kept Marissa's interest throughout the story. He made matters worse by scaring her instead of making her comprehend things, but he stuck to his mission to help Marissa. Antonio was the one who asked Marissa the question. When Marissa got out of Antonio’s vacation house, she read the note that Antonio left inside the doll. Marissa was furious, tearful, and quivering after reading that question, “Don’t you think that being so afraid has made you feel exquisitely alive?” While Antonio went out of the house and went to his car to get away from Marissa. Antonio gave Marissa space after what he did to her. When Antonio asked Marissa through the note, if the feeling of being terrified made her feel alive, it freaked her out but she thought about it, and she eventually understood that Antonio was simply helping her in her life path because she appeared desperate and he simply wanted to help her. She then gathered her thoughts and dialled a phone number from the paper. It's risky to put your trust in strangers, as Marissa discovered.

Marissa should have been more mindful of her surroundings, especially given her lack of familiarity with Antonio. A month is still not enough time to go on a vacation with someone. Marissa is flawed to the point that she put too much faith in Antonio to grasp what he was up to all along. Antonio should have plotted everything he was going to do before executing it through. Both of them learned a valuable lesson in the end.

Even if Antonio believed that his goal would help Marissa discover her true path, suppose he believed his actions would benefit Marissa somehow. In that case, he should be aware and consider the experience she will have during the process. Antonio told Marissa about the urge she was feeling. While Marissa is staring at the cliff, she is starting to feel chills and her heartbeat is beating fast because of Antonio's statement. “To throw yourself in. It's the same thing people feel when standing on observation decks or the edge of the cliff—that strange desire to step off into space. No reason, no logic. But it’s always there. As if—” Antonio understands and knows what the people feel about the cliff. He limits his statement not to harm Marissa and she would not think in a bad way. As Marissa’s confusion and suspicion towards Antonio rises, she begins unfolding Antonio’s actions one by one as they go on with their vacation.

Because of Marissa's curiosity, she entered the open door. Upon entering she saw a porcelain doll and dark brown streaks of blood on the wall. And on the wall were dark brown streaks-blood, Marissa understood-left by the prior occupant of this chamber, Lucia, who spent the last days of her life in terror, trying vainly to scratch through the stone with her bare fingers. The match went out, and darkness surrounded he collapsed on the floor in panic, sobbing What a fool I've been she thought. I'll die here, I'll die here, I'll die

Marissa: “But I knew I could help you.”

Antonio: “Oh, right now you hate me, of course; you are furious. Who would not be? But, Marissa, ask yourself this question, put it in your heart: don't you think that being so afraid made you feel deliciously alive?”

Antonio wrote in a letter that fear creates beauty but it opens people's eyes and rearranges their views and perceptions, the only difference being that instead of musical notes or painting my medium is fear. When I see people like you who, as Dante writes, have lost the true path of life, I consider my mission to be to help them find it. The night in Florence, the night we met. I chose you because I saw that your vigils were dead. And I quickly understood why your dissatisfaction with your job, your oppressive father, your needy ex-husband. Even if Antonio’s goal is to help Marissa Discover her true life path. He believes that doing that would help her be more alive. But he did not consider that Marissa might be traumatized by his actions or the process Marissa will undergo. Because of Marissa’s curiosity she entered the door and a scary thing happened. Those things helped her open her eyes and discover her true life path. But those things also made her scared.

Antonio just wants to help Marissa, and this becomes his mission. So he plans everything from the start and helps Marissa with her own problem, because Marissa is so stressed out about her family business and she really wants to be a fashion designer. So this gives us some of the ideas and lessons from this story. For me the reason why the author wrote this is because he wants the readers to learn from this book, he wants them to realize the consequence of doing an action that you are not sure what would have happened if ever it goes the wrong way. He wants to prove that we can help other people by doing several things or simple things. This text is important because it shows that there's many ways to solve a problem, and we can learn from our mistakes or problems. This text tells that all of us can understand the consequence of our actions, because we never know what is the possible outcome.