xyliasgotdatswag

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I genuinely think Mouthwashing fandom is a good example on how real life misogyny is very wired on people brains and influenced how they engage with fictional misogyny.

You have a story about a woman being assaulted and telling a man she trusted but being dismissed because he is friends with the attacker, and people fixate on shipping her with either of those men.

You have a story about how men that downplay their male friends violence, assume neutrality is the safer option, unintentionally help create an environment that's unsafe to vulnerable people, at a risk becoming a victim themselves. And people make it about toxic yaoi.

You have a character kill herself because she didn't want birth the child of her abuser. And people make AUs where she happily keep the baby.

Misogyny isn't just "I hate women", it's also downplaying their trauma, defending those who caused it, and reducing them to mothers or wives against their wishes under this idea of what womanhood is about.

I don't think we can separate fandom misogyny from it's real world influence, not yet.

[xyliasgotdatswag]

Thinking about Mouthwashing again. This has probably been said more eloquently by other people before now, but I need to put it in my own words and release it from my brain like a frantic canary in a cage.

There's a lot that's been said about how Curly wasn't really there for Anya when she needed him and how his enabling of Jimmy due to their past and his need to see the best in others (or frankly any basis you want to apply here) despite the damage to others damned both of them. And it's all things that need to be said; whether or not he's a Good Person, Curly's actions permitted a panicked narcissist at the end of his rope to destroy five people's lives in a vain attempt at self-preservation.

But then you have Swansea. Swansea spends the entire game gruffly tolerating Daisuke when their job is moving smoothly and their biggest crisis is "Daisuke got stuck in the emergency foam." And yet, when the chips are down, he's got Daisuke's back.

Swansea goes out of his way to try to establish some engineering lessons for Daisuke, even though he likely was never trained in that capacity as the Tulpar's mechanic. Swansea establishes to Anya away from Jimmy that the one functioning pod would go to Daisuke. ("No. I understand completely. If that’s how it has to be-") Swansea gives Daisuke the mercy of a swift death when Jimmy is fully committing to drawing out Daisuke's misery despite his grievous injuries, just as he's commanded Curly be kept alive.

It's extremely cathartic to see Swansea attack Jimmy with the axe, as someone who empathizes with Anya and her circumstances. But he's not doing it for Anya. He's never been doing it for her. It's always been for Daisuke. He knows prior to her locking herself in Medical that she's been assaulted. ("Hah! I sure did talk to Anya. But it was her telling me all sorts of things instead, wasn���t it?") And yet. And yet he does nothing, not until Jimmy finally goads and manipulates Daisuke into suffering fatal wounds to re-open Medical so he can regain access to Curly. Anya overdoses on painkillers and dies, but only Daisuke's death actually spurs him to take action against Jimmy.

Anya told Curly, who did nothing. Anya also told Swansea, who also did nothing.

Say nothing, and you're fucked. Say something, and no one does anything meaningful about it, anyway.

This wasn't Anya's worst moment, far from it. But it was probably one of Swansea's.

[xyliasgotdatswag]

I don't see many people talk about it, but… Curly witnessed all his crewmates' deaths.

Anya literally poisoned herself at his side.

Daisuke's last moments of life were in the next room down the hall.

Swansea was shot the second he opened the door to the infirmary.

Even Jimmy shot himself while Curly watched him in the cryo capsule. He saw them ALL.

ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS DIED IN FRONT OF YOUR EYES, AND YOU COULDN'T DO ANYTHING BUT JUST WATCH.

Gosh, I feel so bad for Curly…

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Let her be happy!

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Oh, what a waste...

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an accomplice turned victim his apology, long overdue

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The Pony Express’ minimum expense makes its crew members creative

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— Nikita Gill

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Bruce: Just skip to the part that’s going to anger me.

Jason: That’s going to be all of it.

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My heart aches for the warmth of your presence.

[xyliasgotdatswag]

women=scapegoats

Just my opinion.

TRIGGERING WARNING: SA/ SH

When did the word woman become synonymous with scapegoat? As I see the news each day, I realize this is the world we seem to live in. In light of recent events regarding the attempt to destroy the career and livelihood of a fellow actress and woman , I have felt compelled to write this, as I have unfortunately been subject to the same toxic masculinity throughout my life. In my recent career, I’ve brought forward concerns about a male colleague and was deemed “hysterical.” I was told my fears were figments of my imagination. Now, as I’m seeing this pattern pop up more, I realize this is the norm.

I, like a lot of women, had hope in change —especially in the latter part of 2017 when many brave women came forward during the #MeToo movement. There seemed to be an uprising, a new wave of recognition for those who had been abused, degraded, slandered, silenced and it was loud. But it was the kind of noise I can only liken to a firework. It can wake you up out of a sound sleep, it burns so bright and shocks the shit out of you but then, it burns out — just like that. And when the smoke in the sky clears and the ashes and debris are swept away from the sidewalk, behind closed doors —to them— we are still just noisy women.

So we all go about our business until the next wave of injustice comes.

With the #MeToo movement, it felt different. People were annoyed (by people, I mean men and anyone who enables abusers). Annoyed that they might have to change their own dehumanizing behavior. I remember the shift from “yasss!!! Go women!!!! We are woke af!!!! We got your back!!!!” To “god, didn’t these bitches have their moment a few years ago? Get over it”. As if centuries of women being underpaid, undervalued, under-appreciated, raped, harassed, terrified and used for the benefits of dick-wielding heroes would be erased because you commented on your second cousins #MeToo instagram saying “stay strong”.

It was a pat on the head, a consolation prize accompanied by an eye roll as if we were just all constantly complaining that the gas station didn’t sell our preferred brands of tampons.

When a suit was filed against me by a former employer, (the suit was withdrawn), after making a confidential complaint against a coworker for unprofessional behavior, I had the silly and naive impression they would believe me. I am not known as a liar in my field of work, no matter how vocal I may be. Hence, why I’ve been working for 25 years. Instead of being believed and protected, a suit was filed against me for having the audacity to speak up. I was publicly shamed and defamed in the process. A reputation I had cultivated for over 2 decades had now been tainted as I became the crazy, paranoid and to quote directly, “hysterical and wild” woman, who apparently just had it in for men. My previous abuse was also brought up as “unfounded claims”, and I was made to seem like someone who just goes after men, rather than being seen as someone who has been dealing as a professional in this world, since I was a child, standing up for herself. This was after I had taken all of the recommended, reasonable and appropriate measures of reporting confidentially to my union.

The experience left me with a lot of questions, of the professionals in my industry, of the public, and of men.

To the public… I often wonder why are we always so excited to see the takedown of a woman? Why are we always so quick to defend a man after he is accused of bad behavior, but if a woman speaks out… she’s clearly a liar? I’d like to think it’s because we are supremely afraid to believe the truth that these things actually happen. I’d like to believe it’s some form of indoctrinated denial. However, time and time again, I find most people believe the approval of a man is far more significant than the burden of supporting a woman. For men, it is always innocent until proven guilty. For women it is the opposite. “Prove your fear.” “Prove your discomfort.” “Prove your pain.”

This MUST change.

And to men, I first wonder… if you complained about a coworker and you were called a liar… how would you feel? You probably can’t answer this because most likely, statistically, it’s never happened to you. Men are usually believed because so many “bosses” are men.

I will say this to those who have such a difficult time believing that women are truthful: do you know what happens to us if we report anything?

Do you know that most of the time when a woman reports a concern about a man, the burden of proof lies solely on us?

Do you know how it feels to be treated as a second rate citizen solely because we don’t have an appendage we can stick into anything we feel we own the right to?

And yet… you need us. You can’t charge your phone without an outlet right?

And is that all we are? Outlets? Something you can take your anger and vitriol and push that into us and onto us?

It leads us to the impossible double-edged sword we face everyday.

If we don’t speak up, we’re weak and aiding in the problem.

If we do, we are over dramatic, bitchy, bossy, divas.

Do you have a sister? Do you have a daughter? Do you have a mother? I’m sure you do.

And so here we find ourselves again, in a vicious cycle of crucifying another woman for speaking out against a man. Watching as the world splits in two over who is telling the truth, no matter how much evidence is presented. Because how could a woman do anything but lie or exaggerate?

So I ask you this:

How can a man do anything but lie when he is consistently told his deceptions are gospel? Are we forever to hold the burden of being “perfect” to be victims and to be believed?

To change the narrative, we do not need more women to scream. We just need a lot more men to shut up and listen.

-abbie

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This is giggling bangtan, reblog it for good luck and eternal happiness, don’t risk it.

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