Statistics
We looked inside some of the posts by xxtunnelvisionxx and here's what we found interesting.
Average Info
Notes Per Post
1M
Likes Per Post
521K
Reblog Per Post
779K
Reply Per Post
213
Time Between Posts
1 month ago
Number of Posts By Type
Text
12
Photo
5
Last Seen Tumblr Blogs
Fun Fact
Tumblr is used by 21% of adults online aged 18-29 years.
Text
So what's the outcome?
Frankly where do I begin? Ever since I had to overdrive my brains and sit the fuck down and tell myself "I have to change my mindset." Things were more bad then good. I've dealt with so much of issues and horrific chapters in my life in the past but this chapter has definitely got to be the hardest at the point of me composing this blog post.
I've toned my actions down and for once in my life, I've been understanding. I look at the bigger picture rather be near sighted, thinking that it would benefit me or be much more positive for my mental health and for life in general. But what do I get in exchange for trying to be a better person?
SHIT.
Yeah shit is what I got. I'm not going to sugar coat my words and say that I'm very innocent and I never did anything wrong or I'm an angel. I do admit that I'm fucked up in my own ways. I'm still human. So it leads me to my next point.
What do I do? Do I continue and be a pushover? Be a yes man? Or do I fight fire with fire? Because all the options stated above, would lead to a toxic outcome in the long run and eventually in the end, nothing good will happen.
One example.
Parents. They put up with you and tolerate the shit we do. Why? Love. And it's not their duty to "Love" they could just wash their hands and give up. Rightfully they don't have to "Love" their children. But they do it anyways. Why? LOVE.
Which brings me to my main point.
What do I do? I know communication is key and it's vital in every relationship. But if I'm being selfish and tell myself " If you're not gonna change, then I'm leaving " that's wrong and also correct at the same time am I right?
I'm wrong because, every human deserves to be given the opportunity to change and if I just give up easily means that I truly don't love the person. But needless to say, people do have limits and breaking point.
I'm correct because, I'm human too, flesh and blood. If I find it's toxic for ME, I'm leaving, but like how our our parents loved us and stod by our side through thick and thin, im willing to do so. BUT. But in lif, we all want the best for ourselves and those around. Nobody wants to be a loser. So am I wrong if I wanted to "upgrade myself," you know? Carry less emotional baggage around. No, right?
Oh fuck me.
I knew the answer all this while but I'm in denial. I know what's best for me. I know what to do.
Love yourself. Be happy. ❤️
0 notes
Text
i wanna push everyone away from me so i can kill myself alone without anyone noticing
6K notes
·
View notes
Text
What goes around comes around?
Well honestly it keeps me up most nights. Yeah I know. You reap what you sow. Eventually this karma or bad omen will definitely bite me back one day. I'm always thinking if the what if's.
0 notes
Text
Fair & Lovely
Where do I even begin..
Don't walk out of my life. I know the mistakes I've made in the past, but I know that I'm definitely not repeating the same mistake for a third time. I cherish you so much, you don't even know. Words alone can't comprehend how much you have impacted me this time round with your love. Your love is wholesome, it's undeniably breathtaking and you never fail to leave me with butterflies in my stomach, even after 6 years. Truth to be told, I've reflected long and hard on our past and I told myself, if I was given a opportunity to take your hand once more, it will be the best thing that will had happened to us. I truly adore you and everything that you have done for me. Thank you so much for coming back. Thank you for loving me all this while, the unconditional love we have for eachother means so much to me. Let me show my appreciation for your efforts and affection by being you proctor and your provider. Through thick and thin, Through all the struggles and hardships, in sickness and in health, be it any circumstances that the both of us will undoubtedly encounter in our new fond chapter, id do my best and put my heart and soul into evey thing we're dealing or facing. Chen Eeling. I'm here to stay. I love you most graciously. I never understood love could be so wonderful up till we re kindled the love we had. You taught me so much more to love then I could ever even comprehend. You've brought out the best version of myself. Never in a million years would I have expected to uncover and discover a side of happiness that I thought never even was achievable. Thank you for true love, your love and nothing but pure innocent love. My darling girl. I'm home 💕
I love you
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
My lowest point in 4 years 3 months.
Have you ever been frozen in time? Stuck in reality and living in denial?
What if I told you, your life was going well,you had everything you could have ever asked for, a loving girlfriend, very good income, staycations for weeks on end, having the best wine and dine that money could ever purchase, happiness and the word "stress" was a word that seems to no longer exists.
Life was like a princess fairy tale story.
Fucking blew it.
One fine day, you're on the way to ur 2nd job after a 8 hour night shift and just surviving everyday, JUST on power naps and energy drinks.
The phone rings and it's your partner, and on the other end all you hear the anxiousness, and the shivers from her tone, everything was about to come crash down, you pulled out of the flow of traffic during rush hour and consoled her while trying to gather as much information at the same time. After much confusion and anxiousness, the news was finally delivered... Thoes 6 words echoed and instantly, the hustle and bustle of the rush hour and everything that you were doing and thinking just seem to stopped. It was at the very exact moment, you knew this time, you're fucked. Shit just got real and you knew you were bout to fight a losing battle.
Mmmmm... what the fuck are we gonna do now. Ya?
So long story shot, you were given a chance and after nearly a month, they just decided to change their minds and be quick to make decisions that was gonna be life altering, but there was FUCK ALL that you could do.
In the span of 1 month, you were stripped away from EVERY FUCKUNG GOD DAMN THUNG
Freedom
Love
Business just tanked.
Empire just crumbled
The amount of stress and issue just surfaced all at once and you're caught off guard, totally flabbergasted.
The entire savings you had was used prior to the incident that just occurred.
This time you're fucked and before you new it, life just scooped you up , chewed you up and spat you out. You're left with just the memories and fucking regrets.
You have no choice to await for her return and just have to deal with everything on your own.
Its hard for her as she's forced to be in a box for a year. What a fucking ride it was.
I'm just utterly speechless that life can be so fucking unpredictable and uncalled for.
Always be the best version of your self. Wake up knowing you have to be better then who you were yesterday.
Don't take things for granted folks.
Yesterday was history and Tommrow is a mystery
Today is the present. Enjoy it to the fullest and make no regrets.
The old me has just came back to live. It's back and this time the crave for pain and blood and utter self destruction is real.
The pain I feel for you and the days leading up is un forgivable on my end, I'm sorry I wasn't strict and firm. I've let us down. It's time to face the music on my own terms.
0 notes
Text
Closing the door.
It’s been awhile since I’ve let the countless amount of people that comes into my life for temporary happiness or out to achieve something. Some may see me as a gullible person but I’m watching everyone and starting to realise that I’ve always been everyone’s doormat. If I started to distance or stop talking, means you’re no longer a positive person in my life. Adios amigos
0 notes
Text
~ To my old self ~
Guess what, you were the same useless kid from the past. You can’t even take care of yourself, you suck at money management, you have no real friends, no matter how much you try, THE ISSUE IS YOU, THE PROBLEM IS YOU!!!! Fucking when will you ever wake up? At the rate you’re going, you’ll never change!!! You should have overdosed and died!!!!!!!! You were always filled with anger and sadness, you’re the same as it was.
0 notes