xxgothickxx

[xxgothickxx]

here’s hoping they keep putting out remixes and videos and each new release the v’s dip just a bit lower

[xxgothickxx]

@xjoonchildx When I tell you I'm obsessed I mean it! Open my TikTok and this is the first thing that pops up!

[xxgothickxx]

dearest ana, if pressed, and you had to watch bts members eat for an hour... in order of most watchable to least watchable... I MUST KNOW. sincerely, hope xoxo

okay hopie, you know compiling this list was torture for me, but i did it anyway because i love you and can't deny you a thing. so without further ado, your bangtan eaters ranked from least to most obnoxious:

kim namjoon 7/10

most points for overall cleanliness and decorum. enjoys eating and demonstrates very little food aggression, for the most part willing to share. eats (mostly) with his mouth closed. meals are relatively calm and organized. did, however, eat a fortune cookie whole — paper intact.

kim taehyung 6/10

hungry all the time and will do anything to eat. a reputation for obtaining food though shady means. repeatedly caught on camera stealing snacks and meals from other members. one half of the infamous dumpling incident.

jung hoseok 5/10

watching him eat is almost unbearable, and you guys know how i feel about this man. has delicate fingers and hands which seems to help his case overall, but seems to prefer using those hands instead of utensils. one time i watched him obliterate a churro in three bites -- which is actually not as sexy at it sounds.

park jimin 4/10

forever biting off more than he can chew. eats like a man three times his size. i have twice witnessed him take bites so large he was physically unable to chew and had to spit it out and try again. literally the only man on the planet hot enough to get away with it.

min yoongi 3/10

not shy in any way about eating on camera. not worried in any way about choking hazards. willing to (speak, scream, laugh) around a mouthful of food. once watched him pick up an entire half chicken with his chopsticks which was, admittedly, impressive.

kim seokjin 2/10

get marie kondo on the horn because seokjin is a mess. will eat anything that is not nailed down. will use any means necessary to get food to mouth; chopsticks, straws, fingers. ability to make food defy gravity, suctioning noodles from plate to mouth with powerful lung capacity. seems to prefer foods covered in sauces. bib recommended.

jeon jungkook 0/10

absolutely missed his calling as a wild animal. highly food aggressive, will and has reached over/under/through members to grab something he wants. always locked into a battle to the death with his (already dead) food. mean mugs his plates.  sucks his fingers.  one time watched this man deepthroat an entire kimbap which -- again -- is not actually as sexy as it sounds.

most watchable:

kim yeontan 10/10

[xxgothickxx]

MY NAME IS JUNGKOOK AND WELCOME TO BTS

[xxgothickxx]

OKWYOKAYOKAYOKAY

But can we talk about how iced out Yoongi is??

[xxgothickxx]

To the 2.6 million ARMYs watching all this together right now, I love all of you. I purple all of you 💜

Now shut up, I need to go be emotional in a corner

[xxgothickxx]

Kookie will be talking about how Namjoon was/is his inspiration and motivation to join BTS till he dies I fucking swear 😂💜💜💜

[xxgothickxx]

Yoongi is me when it comes to physical attention 😂💀

[xxgothickxx]

I'm living for the stylist saying this Muster we are having Joon's legs EXPOSED

[xxgothickxx]

Not @ me bawling at the end of the vcr

[xxgothickxx]

WHO IS READY TO BE TWERKING??

[xxgothickxx]

MA CITY MY OLD FRIEND WELCOME BACK BITCH

[xxgothickxx]

IDOOOOOOLLLL

WHERE MY SA ARMY @!?!?!

[xxgothickxx]

We all know Tae felt like the biggest boss ass bitch rapping in Ddaeng

[xxgothickxx]

FUCK IT UP TAE EAT THOSE LYRICS BITCH

[xxgothickxx]

Pied Piper actually makes me lightheaded, like borderline passing out-

NO THE CHOREO OK I'M DED BY-

[xxgothickxx]

Pied Piper slapping me across the face and patting me on the head at the same time 😭