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This one’s from Bluechair! http://bluechair-webtoon.com

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Lost but not forgotten. (via sxanr)

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Herbalist level acquired. 🌿🌸🍑 #gardenersguidetothegalaxy #greenthumbintraining

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The only breathing thing on this planet that makes me smile. 😍🐶🐾

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Bulletproof Egos and Wounded Hearts.

Broken, bruised and wounded. She stands here as the person she has become. Nothing left but reminders of her leftover scum, stuck on daily inflictions to keep herself numb. Scattered pieces of her soul breaks off as she wanders. The sense of happiness and love she desperately craves feels beyond her. Her days are spent in a smoked out haze, trying heavily to escape from her mental craze. All these birthed demons left by past lovers alone to raise. Sleep is the closest thing she gets to peace. Learnt her whole life it’s achieved by medication increase, each pill is closer to deaths sweet release. This world is crooked so she bites the bullet. Bleeding out from all her pain, she’ll always find something to be her personal novacaine.

Morals taught her not to blame others for her misfortune. That not all should come with a label warning. But you, you were different. Cunning addicting and sly, you demonstrated characters so stunning I got blinded by your sweet high. A creature so demoralised and shrewd, yet still eventually lost balance on that pedestal where you think you were viewed. Ran away from your troubles and promises leaving people behind to bleed, to dwell on the reminders of your once selfishly entitled greed. It takes a special kind of coward, a coward to give up a beautiful life that could of been flowered. And to promise her your heart hand and soul, you only kept her high off your intoxicating lies to keep yourself empowered.

Once adored and made her stomach nauseous with butterflies, the smell of your hair was her favourite of all the highs. You were her oxygen supply when she couldn’t breathe, her gravity check when her head got lost in her thought chaos beneath. Your heartbeat beating against her cheek, she’ll forever crave that peaceful relief. Cherished memories of warm burnt coffee, stolen jumpers and imitate whispers with the sunrise but now you’re nothing but pure fucking scum to brutally despise. Suffocate on all her lingering thoughts of worthlessness, please choke and die in the smoke of her self loathing hatefulness.

I hope you spend the darkness of nights alone. I hope each one of your birthdays gets blown. That you experience this cold empty dull ache until the day they put your name on your gravestone. That your lonely nights are spent restless, my name being all you’ve really known. I hope I always haunt your dreams, a nightmare a night for each one of my tear filled streams. That my face will be the only one you’ll see in the crowd, to forever be your lingering regret fuelled storm cloud. Your actions spoke louder than any of your words, so inject these rhymes I write and I’ll pray that it burns. 💉🙏🏻

Nicole Kershaw 2017 ©

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You went from being my favourite high to the reason I chase them, bad boys like you I can't seem to stay away from.

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Thnks fr th mmrs vn f thy wrnt so grt. ✌🏻

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Ghosts and stuff.

All this time what was I to you? You’re nothing like what they say you live up to, fed false lies and hope to keep me blinded from your true field of view. I feel completely robbed of all my heart body and soul, you took what was left and destroyed it with no self control. I thought you were different but you turned out to be like everyone else that’s used and abused me but worse, your continuing empty promises and selfishly given love will forever be my everlasting curse.

A coward to your own addictions, rather spend your time on these benders and prescriptions, with these underage kids teaching them drug inducing inflictions. Completely dropped like I meant nothing to you, you chose these crackwhores and drugs to be your usual go to. Lost complete sight of that pursuit of happiness, you rather now drown in your own self pettiness. I can’t help you anymore, you broke my heart so badly I don’t think we can ever fix this rapport. Each day ignored makes me feel more and more unwanted, it’s like everything we’ve said and been through has been vaulted. You’ve left me with ghosts that leave me feeling so haunted.

Now where have I felt these old feelings from? You both share the same egotistical behaviours on it you turn into unbearable disgusting scum. Both expect me to isolate myself and wait for my prize, to practice patience while you fail miserably building up your corrupt franchise. Treat me like pure fucking shit knowing full well I’ll let you get away with it, breaking my mentality and kindheartedness bit by bit. Once a sweet boy with the whole world shining behind your bright eyes, now a sad selfish human who chose to chase dirty highs.

Yet I still would move the sun and moon to make you smile but I wonder if you were ever gonna choose me over your created miserable lifestyle. I wanted to make your life worthwhile, show you nothing but love and loyalty. We’re not all horrible creatures some like me just want to treat you with pure royalty.

I gave you the last piece of my heart, the biggest and tenderest bit so yours wouldn’t fall completely apart. You’ve made me never want to love again, I’ll build these walls higher now so I can be forever alone with this heartbroken pain. The lack of communication is what differentiates you as the most inhumane.

Nicole Kershaw 2017 ©

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Very rare banned meme of me in my true form feeding into my evergrowing crippling depression.jpeg. Feelsbadman. (2014, colorized) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )

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Shit just got me F'd up!! 😱

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Crystal Minds, Empty Hearts.

How long can you continue to run? How much does it take to get numb? Your chemicals show imbalance, to allow yourself to be consumed by demons proves some sort of talent. Every day you lay there curled up dying, wondering why you can’t stop crying. Your insides are infected from everyone else’s toxic you keep on injecting. Slowly it’ll rot every last molecule, replacement therapy becomes your only golden rule.

Do you feel those eyes? That chilling up your spine? Those vicious little whispers that say your world is about to be blown up into pieces. Make me a slave to your addictions, these feedings of panic and prescriptions. My pains, sufferings and tortures have only built up to gains, lusterings and disorders.

Why do we spend so much time making excuses? Why do we continue to chase these unneeded muses? The path to happiness has never been so clear, this blindness caused by this noxious gear, it’s something so powerful you know it’ll consume you again my dear, corrupt you with its uncontrollable fear. To survive the life of the shard, you must be prepared to get scarred, to feel complete utter disregard or she’ll eventually catch you off guard. She’ll take your life and leave nothing but a get well card.

Yet I’ll secretly continue chasing these magical clouds, while avoiding all disappointment and judgement shown from my crowds. The speeches they carefully plan, the pure hatred and disgust they eventually unhand, good intentions killed on demand with these pointless “facts and logic” they can’t seem to expand. Can’t you see you're only making things worse, your lack of experience is nothing to me but a curse.

Your ‘good’ intentions are valueless to me, you show nothing of proper misery, never even experienced true rock bottom to this degree. The reality of our world would eat you alive, make you struggle to breathe from this crushing weight that you wouldn’t survive. Our brains feel like a constant conversation, juggling between these schizophrenic mumbles of madness and pure rational balance of mind we try practice. Feeling so disconnected, every inch of our bodies slowly gets affected until every day feels more and more undirected. Unheard emotions always left neglected, you created this indefinite space for us as suspected.

You promise us nothing but guidance and support yet all we’ve seen is brutal judgement and loyalty fall short. Don’t say you can understand when you’ve never truly clinged to life in this empty wasteland. We don’t want our habits to be apart of your daily report, something for you to distort then export.

Yet I always tell myself they will NEVER truly understand. The crippling drug fiend I secretly am. This life’s a 24/7 addiction program, Learning new experiences by the kilogram, But I’ll prove everyone wrong when I finally reach my dreamland, created by my own two hands, an everlasting bliss tucked away in my personal wonderland.

Nicole Kershaw 2017 ©

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A Black Shepherd amongst White Sheep

She sees you as her knight in shining armour, ready to slay anything that would try harm her. A gleaming smile that could light up the darkest of darks, a heart so pure and sweet it would touch anything it embarks. You sparked a craving so deep inside, she would move the moon and stars to keep you bright eyed. Fulfil your every need and desire, show you what a real pursuit of happiness requires.

True intentions behind a smile you got in her head, with all these unfulfilled promises you’ve left her mislead. Can’t you see she’s already crushed? Everyone’s else’s fingerprints before you scarred her with mistrust. Each day ignored will make her feel more and more worthless, until she can’t take it anymore and she begs to become completely breathless. Her chest is so heavy with distress, she’ll continue to suppress, all these thoughts of you that make her a mess.

Please continue to use me, I’m only here on this planet to be abused you see. These humans are vicious, they plant twisted ideas of hope that got me suspicious. I can’t handle anymore of these lies, these fake chemicals aren’t getting me high. We’ve shown each other our worst side, are we just going to give up and let our feelings commit genocide?

You say you're a black shepherd to white sheep but what do you do when those sheep want nothing but eternal sleep? Once you lose your flock are we nothing but restock? To be replaced freely without feeling our aftershock? You swept me off my feet only to drop me on my head, next time I vow never to become this braindead.

Nicole Kershaw 2017 ©

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🌗💟👽🌸

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Slowly starting to get the hang of this deranged, magical planet we spin on again. 🌎👽🌈🐝🌼 #feelinggoodfeelingfine #watchmebreakthisdecline