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DAY 5 : Your Parents

Question of day : Write about my parents 💝

Well let's start with my Dad.

Representative Emoji : 🐯"

Birthday : July 1965 (59y)

So my dad is a headmaster of a primary school 🏫 I'm not that close with him. Maybe since i was 9, cus that's when I saw disappointed face on his face because i ranked 3rd on school exam . I used to be rank 1 in everything since i'm a perfectionist. So, at the time i break the "always be number 1 winner 🏆" and got 3rd places .. from school 🏫 still remember that i'm worried on what & how will my dad react to my exam results. During otw back home , my heart pounding soooo fast .. because my dad are short tempered so ..and I can see that he expect A LOTT FROM ME in academic (ik it's not that serious exam lol, but idk that was a massive changes for me)...

Then me ,my lil sis & my mom got home 🏡 not long after my dad also got home 🏡 from work. My mom tells my dad about my exam results, then my dad didn't say anything..... He just quiet and look disappointed....and then just enter the house.

Me still outside standing there 👁️👄👁️😦🙁

Idk what his reaction mean,, but i feel useless 🪴 on the spot lol

Then i enter the house slowlyyy.

From that time, were rarely talk to each other , I remember as a little kid i try to get affection from my dad but he act busy & didn't even look at me, he didn't compliment me whenever i try to show my achievement. It's just makes me feel sooooooooooooooooooo sad.

As times pass by idk I kinda lost my motivation to do the best in everything.

He also started to become cold & sometimes yelling at us and use "high blood pressure" as an excuse. He may not know how his behaviors can effects us in bad wayss.

Yeah, soo years goes by & i keep failing to the bottom in academic, also developed a low self-esteem, PTSD & other mental illness.

Because of my low self-esteem & traumas, i have a very hard times to open up to people. At school i'm not able to open up to anyone, so I just sit quietly didn't talk at all. And other students started to bully me cus thought i was weird since i don't get along with anyone & don't have friends. So during high school i also developed depression & social anxiety. I STILL REMEMBER i don't want to go to school cus when i stepped into the school gate I SAW EVERYONE TALKING ABOUT ME & MOCKING ME.... and have a hard time breathing cus of shaking too much. I got anxious everyday going to school.

And always find a way to avoid going to school like faking illness such as fake fever & stomach pain LOL.

There's time where i didn't attend to school for 1 month . Actually i went to school like 1day a week or 1day every 2weeks lol.

I was veryyy MUCHHH in PAIN mentally ....but my dad seems to not understand what i'm going through.. IT'S A veryyyyyyyy¹⁰⁰⁰⁰ HARD TIMESSSSSSSSSSS (Can't believe that i survived that all)

Instead he angry & yelling at me with high voice. At the time I think my WHOLEEE SOULS LEFT MY BODY because of TOOO MUCHHH pressure

My mom . 🌹

Representative Emoji: 🦕

Birthday : May 1966 (58y)

I think my mom was emotionally stable than my dad even tho she also have high blood pressure. But she's calm most of the times.

But I think she's also a bit immature. Once I failed my college entrance exam and she make fun of my results....(I think she trying to use the method to make me try harder but no no no.... Just NO THAT'S NOT WORKING ON ME , CUS I NEED SUPPORT & AFFECTION)...

The summary is , I think me & my parents can't communicate well because of bigg age gap or just

*draft post on 11/nov 2024

Writed like months³ agoo ?

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DAY 4 : A Places You Want To Visit

Somewhere hereeeee 🍥🍥🍥~

I looveee cold breeze windy , beautiful & relaxing places like these 💕 I wanna be thereeee 💖💖💖 MAYBE Japan, South Korea & UK 💖💕🍥~

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DAY 3 : A Memory

A memory that still stuck with me till now & forever is me when i was in kindergarten.

At that time i just finish school & went to my mom office (my mom at the time work as a clerk at my school which is there's also primary school) 🏫 to go to the teacher & clerk office, we have stairs from kindergarten to the school office ,which is a long stairs 🪜 since the geography of the land , i mean the school location is/are on top of a mountain/hill sooo..(my house too, were living in a mountain/hills) 🦧🍥

So anyways , back to the story .

I'm soooooooooooo tired that day , sooo hungryyyy & exhausted. So i was soo lazyyy to walk on the stairs LOL 😮‍💨

But then i just forced myself & play with my imagination to motivate & push myself to step on the stairs. I imagine i was a character from Naruto which is Tsunade (since that was my childhood tv shows ofc) lol,

I take the first step, two step, three step, fourth steps then fifth steps , I stopped to catch my breathe ~ cus I WAS REALLY ³ TIRED after school so. Then me from the downstairs look onto the upstairs/finish line. Then something kinda magical kinda happen!!

Idk what's happens to me but me suddenly tap into the FULLY PRESENT MOMENT 🎁✨💖 on the upstairs i imagine seeing me on the future at age 11-12years old looking sad.

Then i heard something like my inner voice telling me to have fun as much as possible at this age & be happy at this moment because you'll never know what will happen to you in the future. Then my inner self also said "times will flyyy soooo fast you will not realize it, you will be there at any moment"

Me at that time thinking & questioning my life at the age of 6 lol (I mean it's rare for kids to think about these kind of stuff since kid be having fun playing & don't care about life yet) me thinking what will happen to me when i grow up , did 12years old me is happy? Like how happy i am now in this age? what will happen to her? what will happen to me in future?

Sooo much question in my mind while I still standing down there look on the upstairs. I am soo aware at that MOMENT as a kid OMGG it's like a hint that something not good will happen that makes my future self sad.

AND YEAH IT'S REALLY HAPPENED!

[My family was broken, i got traumatize & developing a mental illness. I have a very hard time to open up to people , I become quiet & didn't talk at all to anyone. I got bullied during primary school & high school because of not talking and open up to anyone, so i spent just sitting alone by myself. ]

Back to the childhood >>🍥🌌🐅

Then i force myself to take another stepsss till I reach upstairs FINALLY. Then back as normal as usual i go to my mom office & have lunch together 🍥!~

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2ND MEMORIES 🍥

also awakening experience 🌌as a kid i was laying down on my bed upside down lol, my head on the bed but my legs on the wall 🧱. while listening to a song called "I wanna hold your hands by The Beatles"

Which my dad always plays the song when I was little , but at the time i was still little tho lol

But anyways

I feel THE PRESENT MOMENT 🎁💗 FULLY AND FEEL NOSTALGIC thinking about the future & how my life would be in the future ~

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DAY 2 : Things that makes you happy 🧸🍥

🍥🧸🍥🧸🍥🧸🍥🧸🍥🧸🍥🧸🍥🧸🍥🧸

THINGS THAT MAKES ME SOO HAPPY >>

Doing SELF-CARE routine :

>Skin Care (esp Face Mask🍓)

>Nails Care 💅🏻

>Hair Care 🧴

SHOPPING 🛒🛍️

LOL even scrolling through online shopping app already makes me soo haappyy~ 🍥! 😆

GOING TO PUBLIC/LARGE CROWD 🌌

Idk I just find it sooo motivating when i go to places that hv a very large crowd like concert / stadium / big mall. 🍥🛍️💘

WALK/SPENDING MY TIME ALONE 🩷

Well, it's moree peaceful when i'm by myself cus i feel free to do whatever i want , like going to random places & no one to argue with. Just do things I want to do the way I want to (easier) ~ 🍓🧸

KARAOKE/SINGING 🎤🎶

Oh well well well, I went to KARAOKE ROOM every week LOL. I LOVEEE SINGING 🎤 & dreams to be a singer 🍥~ 😁

DOING THINGS WITH FOCUS & GIVE 100%

I AM ULTRAAAAA HAPPIEST WHEN I DO SOMETHING I CARE WITH LASER FOCUS & GIVE MY 100% 💯🔥 I don't care if the results is not perfect but I'm happy cus i know I give my 100% best in it ✨

GO ON DIET 🍽️🥦

I love how my body feels after the diet. Especially water fast, w low calorie soup 🍲 & zero cola diet 🥤. ✅ Just like rn I literally doing water fast 🌊💕 and i feel soo happy cus i can feel my body getting smaller 🍥💕

🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥

Notes: oh lol , yeah it's really day 2 .. I didn't expect this to be lil tiring lel @ I'm actually busy🐢 . Cus since I said yesty Im going to finish all the questions challenge in one day but I think I just do this everytime I want SOO BYE SEE YA 💕💖🐈~ 🍥🌌

Good night 🌌💤😴

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DAY 1 : Describe Your Personality 🍥🎀

🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑

LMAOO 🌑🐅 I'm actually confused by my own personality. Don't really know how to describe it. But I js think that these pictures really be describing me LOL .

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But I want to write a longass paragraph so lemme just add everything random about me ✍️...

So first lemme talk about my MBTI which is ENTJ 🍥~

E stands for Extroverted but yeah since im NTJ(??) which was known to be the most introverted Extrovert. I'm pretty introverted extrovert LOL ig

When I was a little girl (*in a deep grown man voice LMAO) I'm a very bright,playful kid & TALKATIVE ASF , I NEVER SHUT UP -

I'm very humorous 🫱🏻‍🫲🏼🥸, makes new friend everyday, don't give a fuck (ofc maybe cus I was just a kid lol)

Also I likes to be PERFECT, PERFECTION, 💯 give all my 100000000000000000%

I liked to be dominant & powerful .

I'm aggressive asf 👹but also understanding > trying to understand everything about people, situation, why someone do this & that.

But also calm in any situation, I don't let my feelings control me because I THINK .

I also kinda like attention ✨very condfident, I like to stand out from the crowd. ����‍⬛

I liked to be known wherever I go~

I like music 🎶🔥 🎸🍥 & Entertainment industry> I would like to be in soon🎸🎶🔥🎤

My hobbies are dancing,singing,art,making music, play my electric guitar 🎸,yoga, books 📚 🤓, listening to music 🎧, watch Netflix🍿, add up knowledges +++ !! Also do some random things cus life's short ~ 🌹💐🌺

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🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥

But as I grow older , My personality changed drastically because of mental health problem. A LOTSSSS of things happenned to me during high school, I've been going through a lot.

~WILL TALKS ABOUT IT LATER ON LAST POST(??) CUS I THINK I SAW ON THE DAYS SOMEWHERE ON THE LISTS THERE'S 'HIGH SCHOOL' TOPIC 😁

I THINK NOW I'M MOREEE BECOME A LONER 🥀🧈~

🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥

MORE :

I like princess-core, coquette-core, dream-core & also femme fatale -core, dark-core, fairy-core 🦋🌻✨💖 👑💯

I likes CAT 🐈🐾😺 🍥🐈‍⬛& have more than 10cats at home 🏡🐢 💕💖

I don't care if someone is weird , cus I AM TOO ✨

Also a lot of people says that i have that mean looks on my face & a lots of people also asked me why i SIDE-EYEING them LMAOO 👁️👄👁️When I don't even think about anything & didn't even realize that I HAVE HABITS which is >> SIDE EYEING PEOPLES 😭???WTF -

Okay I'm done the first day 1 question ~

NEXT>>DAY2 on the next posts 🍥🐾

🧈🥀🐦‍⬛- xoxo 💋 bubye~

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I'M doing this ALL in ONE DAY 🎉 lol lmaoo 🧸 let's start ~