xnbloom-blog

[xnbloom-blog]

[ text -- almost boyfriend ] hey loser, i want those twenty piece chicken nuggets you offered the other night. [ text -- almost boyfriend ] and maybe you for dessert, oh. *winky face emojis* [ text -- almost boyfriend ] just kidding about the second part, by the way.

「 ✉ ➤ baby girl 💕 」 ✖ you can have them any time, any place, beautiful.✖ i’d rather be the one eating you, but you can have anything you want as far as i’m concerned.✖ mhm. i bet you are.

[xnbloom-blog]

█║┊♔ ❝ HIS TIME IN America was spent haphazardly. Lucky enough to have a father whose wealth was immense enough to afford two places of living, his childhood home still remained. Missing the feeling of superhero covered sheets against his skin, he curled up in the bed of his youth, not even minding the dusty smell or the allergies which bothered him afterward. The familiarity of it all covered his skin in goosebumps, had him longing for a simpler time. With eyes closed, it was so easy to pretend that his mother was there, playing with his hair once again. But she wasn’t. And she never would.

FOR SO LONG, he clung to a ghost’s idea. He hoped somehow that the warmth of a beloved parent would grace him once again. And when he found something (or someone rather) to fill the space left in his heart ― it stung like betrayal. How could anyone replace the woman who slaved herself to the bone in order to take care of a lone child? This thought process was what led him back to his former home. Yet he found nothing waiting for him there. Everything he could ever want was back in Seoul. Not even this newfound awareness could tear him away from Seattle though, and he remained there much longer than he should. Too afraid to move forward, too afraid to leave everything behind, he became stagnant.

AND IT WOULD be his ultimate demise, as told by Hana’s dismissal.

CRYING WAS A foreign feeling for Rigby. Not for much longer. The feeling burned in the back of his throat, tightening up increasingly as his one and only asked him to let go for the first time since they had met. He had spent so much time trying to break down her walls (and allowing his to fall down alongside them) and now he was face to face with them again, except they were higher, impossible to climb or punch through. As much as he was willing to bloody his knuckles in order to get to her, he knew he couldn’t change anything. He had fucked up too much this time. Lost what actually mattered to him.

AS ALWAYS, HE listened to her. His grip immediately loosened, until it was back by his side. Unsure what to say (paired with the fear of giving away his emotions ―speaking on the verge of tears was never a good idea), he managed to croak out a small “sorry,” before backing up a step, then two. He had never hated himself more than in this exact moment.

when the bickering happened between them, it was playful gestures. nothing but comfort of being around one another, yet at this point, it seems uncomfortable. the tension is obvious and she doesn’t know how else to handle the situation without her speaking out loud. even then, she wouldn’t mean it. it ends up being words of anger, a misunderstanding of how she actually feels. 

it’s been more than half a year by now, times changed a lot and feelings should’ve faded in the process. though hana had her moments of thinking of the taller male at random and that alone used to make her smile. break into laughter over such childish, simply adorable actions he used to portray. missing him during the time he was away, was a struggle. a reason for another drink late at night in a public club or that relatable heartbroken song that was played on the keyboard she had hidden in her closest. 

the warmth of his touch was enough for her to stiffen up in surprise, intimacy becomes the last thing she craves and she bites down on the flesh inside of her cheek. the feeling in her stomach makes her a bit lightheaded, again, these feelings are too much for her to handle. 

she used to think it was foolish to wait, every day becomes another week. those weeks recollected into months and eventually she decided to let it rest in the past where it belongs. though the past ushers back, rigby’s in front of her and she can’t even look directly at him. the sound of his voice was her favorite to listen to. 

i wouldn’t do it again ( but everyone ends up leaving – you’d leave too ) 

shaky finger tips graze across his palm, placing it over it. “rigby. i understand just please -” softly calling out to the male, her lips crack into a weak smile. "please, let go.“ hana doesn’t mean it, though she’s conflicted. from commitment to fear, her trust is shattered completely to the point where she can’t tell what’s becoming a lie or who’s genuine. 

if walls weren’t build up so high, she would’ve broken down. though there’s no need for sympathy from the lack of patience and the sins she made when he turned away. they weren’t together at the time but there’s a part of her that couldn’t even forgive herself. 

[xnbloom-blog]

What else should I be All apologies…

[xnbloom-blog]

█║┊♔ ❝ HE SAT THERE, wondering how to approach the situation, the feeling of insecurity coating his insides. Never had he felt so lost, yet so secure in the knowledge that Hana was made for him. The only thing that stood in his way now was whether or not she would accept this too.

TYPICALLY A BRASH  man, he kept his distance, hesitant in making any sort of move. It settled in the pit of his stomach like lead. It was so much easier when he could kiss her irritable expression away or even when he could tickle her just to hear that laughter he adored so much.

LOOKING AT HER, images of their past attacked him causing him to question himself even more. Was he doing the right thing now? Probably not. Rigby knew he was being selfish in how he approached her, practically expecting her to greet him with open arms after he up and walked out of her life. But he had missed Hana so much, was constantly aching for her, wishing he could wrap her up in his warmth and never leave her side again.

THE PAST WAS in the past, or so he thought. Though he was also aware that it was easier to forgive when you were the one who did wrong in the first place. His ex-girlfriend had always been stubborn. And right now, he couldn’t blame her for the cold disposition she displayed.

EUPHORIA BURST WITHIN him as soon as he got a peek at those eyes, but it went away as quickly as it came. How was he supposed to make it, if the love of his life couldn’t bear to look at him? Fingers gripped loosely at her wrist, unable to stay away any longer. The beat of Hana’s life pulsed under his touch and his heart played to the same tune.

“I WAS ALREADY stupid enough to leave you once. I wouldn’t do it again. Especially not after I realized how big of an idiot I am for giving you up.” He wanted to tell her all the things he felt, how desperately he wanted back in her life, to be the one she woke up with every morning. But he was a coward, his mouth remaining shut hoping to somehow convey all this through the thumb that was rubbing up against the back of her hand.

when things were falling apart, she ended up going back into her lifestyle. because distracting herself from losing her sanity seems like an easier route than talking to a stranger across her direction. counseling was suggested but she can’t open up wounds without her growing defensive and bitter about the past. for moments where she wished for him to come back home so they can mend what was left behind, the wish was there even until present day. things got in the way, people did and somehow she ended up taking steps further out of doubt. 

hana isn’t an easy person to deal with, rigby should know that personally from their conversations before they got with one another. how she picked on him, they’d bicker a little bit but somehow when he manages to stay put despite her attitude; she felt a little too comfortable. she pictured it a bit more differently, how it’d be a more happier reunion between the both of them. no hesitation in rushing over to open her arms out to him. 

yet, here they are. hana refuses to budge out of her position because somehow despite them not being in a relationship during their time away; there are things that she’s ashamed about. thinking about his reaction makes her anxious, she can feel her heart beating out of her own chest at this point. 

if someone doesn’t give up that easily, that’s genuine adoration, right? when listening to him speak even further, these emotions sink in and she’s getting overwhelmed with the way she was beginning to feel ( she’s actually surprised she isn’t starting to cry. ) “… i don’t know.” a murmur leaves her mouth, one quick peek to his direction before it falls somewhere else. 

“how do i know if you’re staying for good this time? or that you won’t leave without saying something first?” questions after another, uncertainty in the air because the trust crumbled into pieces. as if it was shattered glass on the ground, scraping into her skin when it wanted to be picked back up again. god, she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him. no one else got into the picture, no one else couldn’t take the spot he managed to grab a hold of.

[xnbloom-blog]

( come as you are, @selentieun​!        ↳ continued from here. )

█║┊♔ ❝ REGRET WAS NOT a word he knew, one thrown to the back of his mind as a vague concept he refused to participate in. But right now, he was not himself. Remorse stung at his skin, an itchy uncomfortable feeling he had never known before. Up until now, Rigby had followed his instincts, allowing them to take him wherever they saw fit. Having to come back to see the person he considered his own unable (or unwilling) to look him in the eye made him taste guilt, wish to take back everything he had done during the past few months. I’ll take all the blame, aqua seafoam shame.

HAD HE REALLY been naive enough to think that things would go back to normal after this? Maybe. The urge to go back home was sudden and undeniable. He had had sat down next to his mother’s gravestone, wishing he could speak with her one last time. She was the only normalcy in a life otherwise laced with chaos and without her logic ceased to exist. The more he lingered on the thought the more he realized exactly what she’d say. Stop being an idiot. Take care of Hana. 

WAS HE SCARED? Absolutely. After living a life of freedom, it was difficult to settle down even with the person you could feel was meant to be with you in your bones. Days, hours, minutes, seconds were spent pacing back and forth, worrying over this exact conversation they were having. Yet he was still unprepared for that stony gaze, his heart plunging into a vat of guilt at the sight.

HE TRIED HIS hardest. He really did. Which was saying something, knowing how he spoke without thought at any other time. But this was delicate and he didn’t want to ruin it. The conversation was awkward, reminiscent of when they first met and how he kept choking on his own tongue, because of how beautiful she was. His tongue betrayed him once again, unable (and unwilling) to hold it in. How he missed her, how he wanted nothing more than to hold her again.

“I’M NOT TRYING to sugarcoat anything. That’s how I feel.” His fists clenched and unclenched at his sides, forcing himself to swallow the bitter anger rising in his stomach. What has she been doing since I’ve been gone? (It’s not any of your business.) She doesn’t look good. (Of course not. She’s unhappy, you fucking idiot. You did this.) “I don’t expect you to take me back. But at least let me try to make it up to you. I can’t put it into words how awful I feel or how much I wish that I had stayed.”

THOUGH HER GAZE settled on the ground in between them, his remained fixed on her. Once she came into his vision, he had never been able to look anywhere else. 

[xnbloom-blog]

© Attraction || do not edit/crop photo. [☆]

[xnbloom-blog]

( response to @xnbloom )

《 ✖ 🎸 ✖ 》 – “Scary? You think this is scary?” He shook his head at Hana, not really seeing what the big deal was. From his experience, Korean horror movies were much scarier, due to all the tension and atmospheric tension. While what they were currently watching was merely– “Blood and guts. That’s all it is. You just gotta tell yourself that it’s not real, and you’ll be fine. These movies all have their stupid rules, that you gotta follow, in order to stay alive. I know you’re smarter than any of these assholes, so you wouldn’t have anything to worry about, yeah?” Rigby smiled reassuringly at the woman, hoping that’d be the end of the conversation, though he would willingly give in, if she were to prod anymore. Knowing how girls could be, he figured that if the remote was put in her hands, they’d end up watching The Notebook, or some shit like that, and that was not his idea of fun. Especially when, at that moment, a pair of naked breasts, coated in what was presumed to be corn syrup, flashed on screen. “Okay. Maybe I spoke too soon. Obviously, this movie has its merits.”

❝I mean, did you not see that shit or what?❞ Okay, it wasn’t as bad a she made it seem. And perhaps, Hana isn’t as fearful at least when it comes to this type of genre of movies. Where the images were flickering and the sight were a little too much to take in because it comes around unexpectedly. She seen worse, made worse but deep down she’s merely human. It’s not like she kept a straight face during those moments either.

Fingers curled over the surface of his arm, giving it a gentle shake at how effortless his words were directly to her. Frowning a little with her cheeks immediately puffing out in defeat. He has a point but with how stubborn her mind was she didn’t want to admit that out loud. ❝Okay but uh - ❞ Pausing, her eyes were fixated at the screen a second time then back at his visage.

Dull expression to show lack of amusement before she leans back. ❝You’re fuckin’ sick if you’re enjoying this part of all things.❞ Words straightforwardly tumble out of her petite lips when speaking to him without making much eye contact this time, palm sinking across closed eyelids briefly in order to cover them from the erotic scene she wanted to end soon enough.

[xnbloom-blog]

Nirvana - Drain You

[xnbloom-blog]

fill in meme.

+ So the purpose of this meme is to give a little info on your muses without having to rely on others to fill your ask with meme questions. I know how disappointing it can be to come back to an empty ask so I wanted to create a meme that anyone and everyone can do (mun and muse)

The rules are simple, you do not need to be tagged to fill out the questions, but once you have you must reblog and tag 12 of your followers to spread the love. You can fill it out as many times as your heart desires ( we all know muses can change with their character development. )

Repost. Don’t reblog. Reblog if it’s easier for you.

tagged by:  @inchvate

tagging: mutters about being too lazy for this

1. What is your favorite word? “Titties.”

2. What is your least favorite word? “Fuckboy.”

3. What turns you on? “Being fawned over, good kissers, nice racks and thighs.”

4. What turns you off? “Moving too fast, jealousy, bad taste in music.”

5. What sound do you love? “The strum of a guitar.”

6. What sound do you hate? “Pop music.”

7. What is your favorite curse word? “You’re a liar, if you pick anything other than fuck.”

8. What profession other than yours would you like to attempt? “There isn’t one.”

9. What profession would you not like to do? “Anything other than what I’m doing right now. An office job sounds particularly terrible though.”

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates? ‘Rigby Moon? Oh shit, can I get your autograph?’

11. Something that others do not know about you? “Occasionally, I might jam out to some Electronic music.”

12. Sexual Preference? “I’m not picky.”

13. What position do you sleep in? “On my side.”

14. What if someone told you…you HAD to lose, just this one time? “I’d get really pissed at them, probably. I hate the thought of losing and anyone who thinks I won’t do whatever it takes not to.”

15. Greatest fear? “Being forgotten and replaced.”

16. If you could leave one thing to be remembered by, what would it be? “Music.”

17. Middle name? “Don’t have one.”

[xnbloom-blog]

ANOTHER "BOLD WHAT'S TRUE" THING

ANOTHER “BOLD WHAT’S TRUE” THING

APPEARANCE:

I am 5’7” or taller.

I wear glasses. (sometimes)

I have at least one tattoo.

I have at least one piercing.

I have blonde hair.

I have brown eyes.

I have short hair.

My abs are at least somewhat defined.

I have or have had braces.

There is something I would change about the way I look.

PERSONALITY:

I am introverted.

I like meeting new people.

People tell me that I’m funny.

Helping others with their problems is a big priority for me.

I enjoy physical challenges.

I enjoy mental challenges.

I’m playfully rude with people I know well.

I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it.

There is something I would change about my personality.

ABILITY:

I can sing well.

I can play an instrument.

I can do over 30 push-ups without stopping.

I’m a fast runner.

I can draw well.

I have a good memory.

I’m good at doing math in my head.  

I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute.

I have beaten at least 2 people in arm wrestling.

I know how to cook at least 3 meals from scratch.

I know how to throw a proper punch.

HOBBIES:

I enjoy playing sports.

I was I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else.

I’m in a orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else.

I have learned a new song in the past week.

I work out at least once a week.

I’ve gone for runs at least once a week in the warmer months.

I have drawn something in the past month.

I enjoy writing.

Fandoms are my #1 passion.

I do or have done martial arts.

EXPERIENCES:

I have had my first kiss.

I have had alcohol.

I have scored the winning goal in a sports game.

I have watched an entire season of a TV show in one sitting.

I have been at an overnight event.

I have been in a taxi.

I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year.

I have beaten a video game in one day.

I have visited another country.

I have been to one of my favorite band’s concerts.

RELATIONSHIPS:

I’m in a relationship.

I have a celebrity crush.

I have a crush on someone I know.

I have been in at least 3 relationships.

I have never been in a relationship.

I have asked someone out or admitted my feelings to them.

I get crushes easily.

I have had a crush on someone for over a year.

I have been in a relationship for at least a year.

I have feelings for a friend.

MY LIFE:

I have at least one person I consider a “best friend”.

My parents are still together.

I have at least one sibling.

I live or have lived in the United States.

There is snow right now where I live.

I have a smartphone.

I own at least 15 CDs.

I share my room with someone.

RANDOM SHIT:

I have breakdanced.

I know a person named Jamie.

I have had a teacher with a last name that’s hard to pronounce.

I have dyed my hair.

I’m listening to one song on repeat right now.

I have punched someone in the past week.

I know someone who’s been in jail.

I have broken a bone.

I have eaten a waffle today.

I know what I want to do with my life.

I speak at least 2 languages fluently.

I have made a new friend in the past year.

[xnbloom-blog]

[xnbloom-blog]

Debaser by Pixies

[xnbloom-blog]

“can we watch something else? this is scary.”

( meme / status: not accepting! )

《 ✖ 🎸 ✖ 》 – “Scary? You think this is scary?” He shook his head at Hana, not really seeing what the big deal was. From his experience, Korean horror movies were much scarier, due to all the tension and atmospheric tension. While what they were currently watching was merely-- “Blood and guts. That’s all it is. You just gotta tell yourself that it’s not real, and you’ll be fine. These movies all have their stupid rules, that you gotta follow, in order to stay alive. I know you’re smarter than any of these assholes, so you wouldn’t have anything to worry about, yeah?” Rigby smiled reassuringly at the woman, hoping that’d be the end of the conversation, though he would willingly give in, if she were to prod anymore. Knowing how girls could be, he figured that if the remote was put in her hands, they’d end up watching The Notebook, or some shit like that, and that was not his idea of fun. Especially when, at that moment, a pair of naked breasts, coated in what was presumed to be corn syrup, flashed on screen. “Okay. Maybe I spoke too soon. Obviously, this movie has its merits.”

[xnbloom-blog]

Self Esteem - The Offspring (Smash, 1994)

[xnbloom-blog]

© In My Head || do not edit/crop photo! [☆] [☆]