xlostxgirlxoxo

[xlostxgirlxoxo]

What would you do if someone you were once intimate with, write you on Tumblr?

No bad intentions, lol

I would ask them how they have been. When I’ve been intimate with someone that means this person was at some point very important to me. And this never fully goes away. At least not for me. ☺️

[xlostxgirlxoxo]

Talking to those who understand you is valuable; perhaps that's why I've spent half my life talking to myself.

[xlostxgirlxoxo]

i miss the days

when this felt like home

when i felt wrapped in love and chaos and my phone

and everything felt like an old film

i watched once

where everything was perfect

i should have known something would go wrong

-k.c.

[xlostxgirlxoxo]

[xlostxgirlxoxo]

Life without Kate

vs

Life with Kate

[xlostxgirlxoxo]

Always

The good kid.

[xlostxgirlxoxo]

“Why wasn’t friendship as good as a relationship? Why wasn’t it even better? It was two people who remained together, day after day, bound not by sex or physical attraction or money or children or property, but only by the shared agreement to keep going, the mutual dedication to a union that could never be codified.”

— Hanya Yanagihara, A Little Life

[xlostxgirlxoxo]

[xlostxgirlxoxo]

“Listen to the wind it talks. Listen to the silence it speaks. Listen to your heart it knows.”

— Native American Proverb

[xlostxgirlxoxo]

I wish you fucked up.

I wish you kissed my best friend.

I wish you went behind my back and did formidable things.

Maybe then it wouldn’t be my fault we’re in this mess.

[xlostxgirlxoxo]

“I want excitement; and I don’t care what form it takes or what I pay for it, so long as it makes my heart beat.”

— F. Scott Fitzgerald

[xlostxgirlxoxo]

and in the end, you became what i cried about instead of who i cried to.

[xlostxgirlxoxo]

Realizing I still have some growing to do and to unlearn my toxic traits not just to be a good partner but also just to be a better person is one of the biggest and hardest lesson I’ve learned this year so far.

[xlostxgirlxoxo]

Sometimes I need you so much. I don't know why there seems to be a black hole that opens inside my chest, a tightness in my throat that won't leave, this burning in my blood that screams your name.

e.v.e.

[xlostxgirlxoxo]

“You don’t know distance until you’ve shared your bed with someone who’s falling out of love with you.”

— Beau Taplin

[xlostxgirlxoxo]

“Alone, and not alone. Severed, but not adrift. There were too many lives tangled up in hers. Too many people to care about, and once again, she didn’t know whether to stay or to run”

— V. E. Schwab, A Conjuring of Light

[xlostxgirlxoxo]

I break the ice

So they don't see my size

And I have to be nice

Or I'll be the next punchline

I'm just the best friend in Hollywood movies

Who only exist to continue the story

The girl gets the guy while I'm standing off-screen

So I'll wait for my cue to be comedic relief

Can't be too loud

Can't be too busy

If I don't answer now, are they still gonna need me?

Can't be too proud

Can't think I'm pretty

Do they keep me around, so their flaws just seem silly?

I say I'm okay

'Cause they wouldn't care anyway

And I could try to explain

But my efforts in vain

They can't relate to how I've-

Drawn out in Sharpie where I take the scissors

If that's what it took for me to look in the mirror

I've done every diet to make me look thinner

So why do I still feel so goddamn inferior?

Can't be too loud

And can't be too busy

If I don't answer now, are they still gonna need me?

Can't be too proud and

Can't think I'm pretty

Do they keep me around, so their flaws just seem silly?

Life of the fat, funny friend

Life of the fat, funny friend

It's funny when I think a guy likes me

And it's funny when I'm the one who says, "Let's go to eat"

It's funny when I'm asked to go out on Halloween

Dresses and thigh highs, while I hide my body

Can't be too loud

And can't be too busy

If I don't answer now, are they still gonna miss me?

Can't be too loud

And can't be too busy

If I don't answer now, are they still gonna need me?

Can't be too proud and

Can't think I'm pretty

Do they keep me around, so their flaws just seem silly?

Life of the fat, funny friend

Life of the fat, funny friend

Life of the fat, funny friend

Life of the fat, funny friend

I've drawn out in Sharpie where I take the scissors