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[xlillyannax23]

i’m all my body my choice but then i become a single calories little bitch

[xlillyannax23]

Things I’ve Said to my Puppy: Part II

In honor of said puppy’s first birthday and because you all seemed to like the first collection, I kept going. 

“I think you came from the shallow end of the gene pool.”

“Get out of the wine fridge!”

“No, I’m putting these away.”

“You’re playing with other things.”

“Get out of the regular fridge!”

“You’re a lemon. I’m sending you back.”

“Stop giving me bruises.”

“You can’t make babies with him. Stop trying.”

“Is that an ice? Lucky boy!”

“I just cleaned that; please don’t lick it!”

“You and I were not made for summer.”

“It’s too hot for you to be breathing all over me.”

“No turkeys for you.”

“Shhhhh….leave her alone…”

“Um, señor colorblind, that’s not our car.”

“You’re not fat, you’re fuzzy!”

“Where did you even find that treasure?”

“I love skunks but not that close”

“Oh you want attention? Then come to me.”

“What do you have?”

“That was a really good stretch.”

“Why are you sleeping in the middle of the floor?”

“I don’t think Alfredo is the right choice.”

“Let’s get a cookie!”

“…you’re peeing on your foot.”

“You have grown into a magnificent young man. …with very dry skin.”

“You smell like Fritos.”

“Don’t get greedy. Peanut Butter isn’t free you know.”

“Wow that’s not very purebred of you.”

“Why are you sitting on my feet? You’re heavy.”

“I know these are nibbles of affection but they still hurt a little.”

“Don’t act like I’ve done you some great injustice.”

“!! Ok, that was unexpected.”

“That’s a science thing we learned today.”

“You don’t need to guard the whole neighborhood. Just this house is fine.”

“Aaaaah! Your birthday has arrived! Congratulations to me you’ve survived.”

[xlillyannax23]

Things I’ve Said to my Puppy: A Starter Collection

“Man you’re awkward. I mean, ridiculously beautiful but damn, grow into yourself.”

“What the ever-loving heckin’ heck are you eating now?”

“Excuse me sir, you can’t read.”

“You really have that ‘I don’t know how I fit into the world’ vibe about you.”

“That’s not polite.”

“You don’t even rise until you’re addressed. I’m digging your obedience.”

“Sit like a gentleman.”

“That’s not yours, friend.”

“That’s right. Listen to me and pretend to have an idea of what I’m talking about. I get that a lot.”

“I didn’t pay all this money for you not to be a cuddler.”

“Wanna go for a ride?”

“Show me your cop face.”

“I’m not a fan of you licking my teeth. Please don’t.”

“Okay; we’re done here.”

“Oh no, the postman! How ever will we survive now?!”

“You’re gonna be rude? Okay, you’ve lost the pleasure of my presence.”

“The piano isn’t evil, it’s just unpleasant to hear when I’m touching it.”

“Hey neighborhood watch, what’s going on with the town today?”

“We really don’t need to—oh we’re peeing in the garden now, that’s a thing.”

“I draw the line at shredding things.”

“What the heck is going on with your teeth?”

“No, you’re not helping.”

“We’ve all pooped. It’s your turn.”

“I’m not saying I don’t believe you, I’m just saying I don’t see anything.”

“I know you’re a blanket snatcher but you can’t snatch this blanket.”

“Oh, you want to help?”

“Leave him alone, he’s just trying to take a walk.”

“Right, right, defend your castle.”

“I wish I looked that beautiful having no idea what’s going on.”

“How do you get one?”

“This is not what I asked for.”

[xlillyannax23]

🥺 gonna keep posting body checks till I'm a skinny legend

[xlillyannax23]

My favorite low-cal substitutes and options! All under 50 calories.

Feel free to add to this! I didn’t include everything out there :)

Drinks 🧋

0 cal - herbal tea 🫖

0 cal - green tea 🍵

0 cal - water flavoring like Mio

0 cal - Diet Coke 🥤

0 cal - pretty much any diet soda

2 cal - Black Coffee ☕️

2 cal - black tea

10 cal - monster ultra (I like paradise and fiesta especially)

20 cal - other sugar free energy drinks

39 cal - shot of sake 🍶

Breakfast (snacks, smoothies, etc)

25 cal - 1 large egg white 🍳

32 cal - 100g Strawberries (~50 cal per cup) 🍓

40 cal - 1/4 c low fat cottage cheese 🦴

42 cal - 1 kiwi 🥝

42 cal - 84 g (1 thick slice) pineapple 🍍

47 cal - 154g (1 c) watermelon 🍉

50 cal - 1/2 grapefruit 🍊

50 cal - 3 oz plain Greek yoghurt

50 cal - 2 tbsp serving powdered peanut butter 🥜

50 cal - 4 oz (120ml) low fat milk 🥛

Meals (mix and match this shit!) 🍴

0-10 cal - serving shirataki noodles 🍜

0-20cal - Broth 🐥

5 cal - 1 c lettuce 🥬

6 cal - 28g (1 oz) pickled onion (do this yourself! So easy! So good on everything) 🧅

7 cal - 1 c spinach 🥗

16 cal - 70g (1 c sliced) mushrooms

17 cal - 1/2 c kale

20 cal - 1 c zucchini 🥒

20 cal - 82g (1 c. cubed) eggplant 🍆

21 cal - 1 tbsp parmesan cheese 🧀

25 cal - whole tomato 🍅

25 - 148g (1 med) bell Pepper 🫑

30 cal - 78g (1 med) Carrot 🥕

30 cal - 116g (1 c) pumpkin

30-40 cal - 1/2 pack or can tuna 🐟

35 cal - 1/2 serving (1.5 oz) cod 🐠

36 cal - 1 c miso soup 🍲

37 cal - 40g shelled edamame

38 cal - 1 c Brussels sprouts

39 cal - 1/2 hard or soft boiled egg 🥚

39 cal - 1/2 serving (42g) halibut (white fish) 🐟

40 cal - 1 c arugula 🥗

40 cal - 186g (10 spears) asparagus

45 cal - 148g (1 med) broccoli 🥦

45 cal - 6 med raw oysters 🦪

45 cal - 3 oz/85g lite tofu

50 cal - 100g (1/2 small-med) sweet potato 🍠

50 cal - 1/2 corn cob 🌽

50 cal - 50g shrimp 🍤

Snacks 🍬

0-8 cal - pickles 🥒

5-10 cal - 1 tbsp salsa

17 cal - 1 passion fruit (18g)

23 cal - 1 tbsp hummus

25 - serving seaweed snack

25 - 1 med bell Pepper 🫑

30 cal - 22 Organic Yogis (okay technically this is baby food but it’s just freeze dried Greek yoghurt and fruit so shut up it’s good) 🍓🍌

30 cal - 300g/1 Cucumber 🥒

35 cal - 1 cutie (small orange/tangerine) 🍊

40 cal - 1 light babybel 🧀

47 cal - 1.5 c Air popped popcorn 🍿

50 cal - 6 oven-baked parm crisps 🧀

50 cal - >1/2 c unsweetened apple sauce 🍎

50 cal - 3 dried apricots 🍑

50 cal - 15 pistachios 🌰🥜

Dessert 🎂

0 cal - Diet Root Beer (I don’t care that it’s a drink! It’s so insanely sweet and it kicks the ass of my cravings. Also, my list my rules. Sue me) 🍺

5 cal - serving Sugar Free Jello 🍮

5 cal - 1 tbsp Hershey’s Sugar Free Syrup 🍫

~14 cal - WHOLE BOTTLE Too Tarts sweet sour spray candy (so a few sprays is just 0-3 cal)

20 cal - 2 tbsp Frozen Cool Whip Lite (seriously, eat this frozen) 🍨

20-50 cal - baked fruit (bake some peaches, apples, etc. and mix with Splenda, cinnamon, etc.) 🍑🍎

23 cal - fun size sweet tart pack

25 cal - no sugar added small outshine popsicles 🍧

25 cal - 1 pack smarties (American) 🍬

35 cal - swiss miss reduced calorie hot chocolate ☕️🍫

40 cal - small Outshine Popsicles 

40 cal - 5 sugar free hard candies 🍬

42 cal - 1 Hershey assorted mini 🍫

43 cal - fat free green yoghurt with sugar-free jam 🍧

46 cal - 2 regular marshmallows

48 - 8 mini Cinnamon Sugar skinny pop Rice Cakes

50 cal - 1-2 squares dark chocolate 🍫

50 cal - 2 Dum dum suckers 🍭

50 cal - ~25 sugar free jelly beans

50 cal - halo top pops (lots of flavors) 🍦

Miscellaneous

0-2 cal - any herb/spice 🌿

4 cal - 1 clove garlic 🧄

5 cal - 1 stick sugar free gum

50 cal - 1/4 container White cheddar seasoning (2 cal per 1/4 tsp) 🧀🧂

50 cal - 10 sugar free mints 🌱

Disclaimer: actual calorie counts may vary depending on serving, brand, food tracker, etc.

[xlillyannax23]

please do not follow me. that makes it seem like i am posting and promoting ED’s, when in reality, im really sick. i only reblog the posts i really like so i can look back on them. i am sick. i am not encouraging you to be sick

[xlillyannax23]

List of food w it’s calorie

Got this from thefitnesschef_ on IG, go ahead to their account for more.

[xlillyannax23]

For people starting out restricting.

Disclaimer: Not for starting a pro ana lifestyle, but for those who already have the mentality who want to start the physical restricting.