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There's planned downtime every night when we turn on the Roomba and it runs over the cord.

SO FIREFOX BROKE

I WENT TO CLEAR MY CACHE N STUFF SINCE DOWNLOADS WERE BEING SLOW AND FIREFOX SAYS MY COOKIES TAKE UP

17,179,869,185 GB

THAT'S LIKE 17 TIMES THE ENTIRE FUCKING INTERNET WHAT DID I DO WHAT HAPPENED

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I understand large sample sizes are key to a low standard error of the mean, but the entire sophomore class?

My wife asked me whether I experimented with sex and drugs when I was in high school.

I said, “Yes, but I was part of the control group.”

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It's nice to see you back 💙

Thank you, it's nice to be back 🧡

I recently changed teams at work and the difference it's made in my life has been tremendous, and I'm very glad to be able to get back to the important things in life, like responding to random tumblr posts with xkcd comics!

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Hi! Someone call for me? I'm a superhero who specializes in the study of God's creation of Man in the Book of Genesi-- HOLY SHIT A GIANT BUG!

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I have never been as self-conscious about my handwriting as when I was inking in the caption for this comic.

This tattoo is very funny when you know that kerning is the fancy term for the space between letters. Very important in text design to get it right.

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Wikipedia path: Virus -> Immune system -> Innate immune system -> Parasites -> List of parasites of humans -> Naegleria fowleri -> Primary amoebic meningoencephalitis -> Deciding I DEFINITELY shouldn't connect an aquarium pump to my sinuses

i have a runny nose so im gonna stop by the pharmacy and pick up a curved greatsword to behead myself with

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Her daughter is named Help I'm trapped in a driver's license factory.

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FYI, it turns out "...because I haven't figured out whether he would be my brother-in-law or not" does NOT qualify as a "reason why these two should not be wed."

I am searching for a term that may not exist:

I have a husband

He has a brother, who is my brother-in-law

My brother-in-law has a wife. Now colloquially, she is my sister in law, but is there a distinction to indicate she is also my husband's sister-in-law and not his sister? Is she my sister-in-law-in-law? My sister twice removed?

This is not actually the term I'm after but it'll help.

My brother-in-law's wife has siblings. Who are they in relation to me? I see my sister-in-law-in-law's brother more than I see her, but is there a way to explain that he's family?

Now, the real term I'm after: my sister-in-law-in-law's brother has a daughter. Is she my niece? Second cousin some degree removed??

Like, kinship trees vary wildly by culture, but I feel like there might be terms for these by-marriage relatives from inheritance law or something?

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'The sad thing is that I just wanted to talk about your poor smoke-bomb techniques.'

I don't fuck w nerds, the moment I can smell lore correction coming I'm like "Oh Neptune" and I gotta call my mom and ask her to pick me up

If I'm like "I really liked the scene where Gandalf learns the truth about the Ring in the first movie" and someone's like "Oh you mean when he was in Minas Tirith, originally known as Minas Anor when it was first built in the Third Age?" I am pulling the nearest fire alarm

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2060: The gregarious superintelligent AI, happily talking its way out of a box, is fast becoming a relic of the past. Today's quantum hyper-beings are too busy with their internal multiverse sims to even notice that they're in boxes at all!

If you think people used to willingly stare off into the distance before smartphones, my dad told me he had this psychology assignment when he was in college in the 80s which was basically

Go to a restaraunt by yourself and eat a meal without a newspaper or journal or anything else to keep you occupied and then write a report about it

Which tells me that this was a way for a professor to inflict psychological torture on their students and that people used to bring little things with them to keep them entertained. Shown by those old pictures of everyone in a trolley reading a newspaper with one hand.

Frankly I think that the human brain has been craving smart phone forever. Perhaps we use it too much at times but if this was 1985 we also wouldn’t be talking to people. We’d just be looking at newspaper or drawing stuff on notepad instead. And the old people would all be shaking their fists about how kids spend too much time looking at that damn TV because yes this discourse has been going on long before smart phone

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It's the Sun. We need the Sun.

Why is this heat so hot 😩

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Of course, factions immediately sprang up in favor of '~*~sTaR tReK iNtO dArKnEsS~*~', 'xX_StAr TrEk InTo DaRkNess_Xx', and 'Star Trek lnto Darkness' (that's a lowercase 'L').

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I’m glad the folks at NASA are having fun with XKCD too.

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Welcome back, whether you're planning to stay or not! Glad to see you in my feed again tho

Thank you for the kind words!

I think I'll probably be sticking around, although I'll probably be slow on this blog for the next while. I've been incredibly busy, and I've also been experiencing some burnout (from work, this blog isn't *that* much effort), but makes it hard to prioritize this blog. I have missed doing these though, so I'm going to do my best!

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i can never write a soulmates au cause i very quickly stop thinking about romance and start thinking about the sociological implications of a world where soulmates are a confirmed verifiable thing

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The two best reasons to get into fossils are booping trilobites and getting to say the word "fossiliferous" a lot.

Fossil [Explained]

Transcript Under the Cut

[Cueball is holding two pieces of rock in a paleontological site. Megan, Ponytail and White Hat are in the background.] Cueball: It's weird to pry open a rock and see an animal that no one has laid eyes on for 400 million years.

[Zoom in on Cueball looking at the fossil he is holding.]

[Cueball pokes the fossil.] Cueball: Boop! Off-panel voice: Hey! Don't boop the trilobites!

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xkcd bracket

I'm staring at the "doctor" section, and I can't help but feel like I've forgotten someone.

Welcome to the xkcd bracket! Based off of comic 1529, this bracket contains many people† with confusingly similar names (at least to Randall).

† not all items are people.

Rounds will be posted at 5 PM MST daily for rounds 1 and 2, and every other day after that.

Round breakdown:

Round 1a is the matches from the upper left branch.

Round 1b is the matches from the lower left branch.

Round 1c is the matches from the upper right branch.

Round 1d is the matches from the lower right branch.

Round 2a will be what remains of the left side.

Round 2b will be what remains of the right side.

Round e will even up the items on the right side that are 6 deep instead of 5.

Rounds 3-5 will not be further broken up, all contests will be included.

Results:

Results will be reported here as the bracket goes on.