xenocryp
Crybaby Cryptid
729 posts
× She/He/They pronouns. × 21 yrs × Bisexual And Queergender × No idea why would you be here but nice to meet you, have a cookie 🍪 × Commissions Always Open x
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xenocryp · 3 days ago
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I was wondering if you know of any fics that kind of go along with that one headcanon where at some time period, Crowley decides to get as many college degrees he can, or has the energy to. It’d be nice to read about it, instead of only just hearing about it as a concept. I’m not looking for anything too specific, a fic could just mention if, and I would be happy. Please and thank you.
Have a nice day/night :)
Here are a few for you...
Like He Hung the Stars in the Sky by asideofourown (T)
BREAKING: SCIENTIFIC COMMUNITY IN DISARRAY AS NEWCOMER UPENDS DOZENS OF ACCEPTED THEORIES   Up and coming British astrophysicist Dr. Anthony J. Crowley has rocked the science world this week with his research that proves many previously-accepted scientific theories about dark matter and the nature of our universe completely wrong. Dubbed the ‘Devil’s Theory,’ Crowley’s research has made the astrophysicist a star practically overnight, and one of the most sought-after scientists in the country. “There’s so much you humans don’t understand about the universe, it’s not my fault that I do,” he said in a statement to BBC reporter Jane Smith. “Just you wait!” [Crowley can't keep his mouth shut about the stars, and accidentally becomes a famous scientist.]
Potted Plants and Bad Advice by TheMightierPen (G)
Crowley is an RA at a university and he's their guardian demon because he's soft for kids fite me. I wrote this based off a Tumblr post where Crowley's got 17 degrees because being minor inconvenience to London actually takes effort. Also because my friend asked me to.
Campus Cryptid by Bjurnberg (T)
No one on campus really knows what Crowley is, but they've all heard the rumors. Some say he's in the mob, others say he's a fairy, some think he's just a dick. But everyone he's helped is grateful. And everyone who's crossed him doesn't return.
The future's going to break through by nieded (T)
My take on South Downs: Aziraphale and Crowley decide to become professors. This is inspired by the headcanon that Crowley has 20 different degrees. He is the Serpent of the Tree of Knowledge after all.
- Mod D
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xenocryp · 8 days ago
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Aziraphale’s phone rings.  He answers, expecting it to be Crowley.  But to his surprise, it’s a demon he’s never met.
“I’m Crowley’s replacement,” the demon says.  “He’s not done anything impressive lately, and Downstairs doesn’t like how ineffective he is at keeping you in line.  So now he’s shuffling paperwork and scooping up hellhound shit while I do his job for him.”
“Ah… I see,”  Aziraphale says icily.  “Well, I most assuredly do not look forward to working with you.”
The demon laughs.  “Feeling’s mutual.”
Twenty-four hours later, the demon is very surprised to find himself discorporated in his sleep.  He can’t explain what happened, he has absolutely no idea.
“Don’t let it happen again,” Beelzebub says, annoyed, and sends the demon back up.
After a mere three days, the demon ends up discorporated again.
A new replacement is sent up.  This one lasts for a week and a day.
A third replacement is sent up.  This one lasts for exactly four hours.
Three demons are sent up next time.  Two manage to stay alive for at least five months.  In that time, they botch four very important temptations, and the citizens of London inexplicably find their daily lives much improved in thousands of little ways.  Traffic and pollution are nonexistent, injury and illness are miraculously avoided.  Church attendance is up five hundred percent, and every politician and CEO is struck by the urge to donate as much money as possible to charity.  There’s a general feeling of contentedness and goodwill in the air that wasn’t there before.  It feels downright heavenly.
Suddenly, Beelzebub is having a very hard time finding anyone to take Crowley’s post.  Bribes and threats make no difference.  The rumors have spread and only grown more disturbing in the telling.  Not one demon is willing to go up there and face the cold, calculated, merciless wrath of the angel known as Aziraphale.
Crowley absolutely loses it when someone gets around to telling him.  “Y’know, I could’ve warned you,” he says gleefully.  “Been working with him for thousands of years.  I know exactly how much of a bastard he can be.”
After running the numbers and seeing how many souls they’ve lost to Heaven in the past year, Beelzebub gives up and concludes that trying to replace Crowley is a massive waste of resources Hell can’t afford.
After one year, Aziraphale receives another phone call.  He answers, with bated breath, and nearly shouts for joy when he hears a familiar voice.
“Hi, angel.  Lunch on me?”
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xenocryp · 1 month ago
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xenocryp · 2 months ago
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currently thinking about how fiddleford's family had to watch helplessly as he moved to a different town and slowly descended into madness while being unable to stop it because they didn't know how & how stan threw away the chances of having a family or forming a meaningful connection to anyone until the twins just to save a brother who didn't want to be saved & how Ford basically killed two people without ever realising or thinking about it until he matured emotionally...
i am unwell.
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xenocryp · 3 months ago
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Stories where people have Stanford sometimes calling Stanley “Lee” are the best stories ever. Ford’s character highly revolves around his intelligence and his desire to be the most important person in the room. He is very well spoken, he doesn’t use slang and always uses proper grammar. He also has a large vocabulary. So for him to call someone by a nickname is very important, and would show how much he cared for someone. It would also likely only come out when he is upset, scared, tired or feeling overly affectionate. 
Stanley on the other had is always giving people nicknames and using other terms of endearment to refer to people he cares about. For him to NOT call someone by a nickname says that he is angry with the person or doesn’t like them. Stan is a people person and also seems more willing to give affection, both verbal (via petnames) and physically (hugs, an arm around the shoulder).
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xenocryp · 3 months ago
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Ammm...
EXCUSE ME?!
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xenocryp · 3 months ago
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despite having an art style i found abrasive at first, and a concept that seems incredibly edgy at first glance I cannot recommend "Carol and the end of the world" enough. It's genuinely an amazing 10 episode series, running along the theme of a known apocalypse approaching and how it lead to society embracing "seizing the day and being free" ... as seen from the perspective of Carol, a 42 year old woman who misses mundanity, and can't find something she wants to seize facing the anxiety of being surrounded by people desperate to achieve. Where I expected cynicism and "haha look isnt it fucked up what people do when they think there are no consequences" I found genuinely heartwarming and incredibly nuanced writing and incredibly moving performances, creative ideas and a lot of heart. The show doesn't hate people and that makes the concept burn so bright like hellfire. Give it a watch sometime cause HOOGH it got me good.
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xenocryp · 3 months ago
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God me and some friends are talking abt being dense af rn and i just remembered this one time i was shopping w my dad and i wanted to get rainbow shoelaces at the dr martins shop. And there was this punk girl, dyed hair face piercings rlly cute, behind the counter and like prince charming putting the shoe on cinderellas foot she offered to lace my gay shoelaces into my dr martins and i let her. “Wow what good customer service!”. And then in the car my DAD had to tell me that she was flirting with me a major L to gay people over the world
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xenocryp · 3 months ago
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Oh, thats...
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—"Did i do that?"
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xenocryp · 4 months ago
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TOH fandom tell me someone has written the AU where Raine asks Eda to marry them and Eda is all “Oh I would love to, but technically I am already married” and the gang has to go down to Gravity Falls, Oregon, to get Stanley Pines to sign the divorce papers.
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xenocryp · 4 months ago
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a comic about fix-it fanfics
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xenocryp · 5 months ago
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xenocryp · 5 months ago
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Original comic by Rasenth
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xenocryp · 6 months ago
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so i was fully prepared to rip into Tumblr for trying to pull its "queerest place on the internet" rainbow capitalism bullshit again this year... but it's actually feeling kind of disconcerting that it doesn't seem like they've actually done anything for Pride, as far as i can tell...
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xenocryp · 6 months ago
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stop gaslighting us lol
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xenocryp · 6 months ago
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shout out to all the bitches NOT having gay sex this pride month
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xenocryp · 6 months ago
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the thing about kyman that I don't think people understand is that if cartman one day just said Fuck it and told kyle he authentically for real and for true is in love with him, kyle might think he's full of shit at first, but as soon as he realized it wasn't fake he'd be like "aw :( that's so nice and so fucking sad and pathetic. y'know what? I'm gonna date you and get you into therapy and on medication and motivate you to do well in school and become a decent person and then as soon as that's done and I know you're emotionally regulated enough to handle it I'm gonna find you a partner who can actually love you back and finally get to move on with my life knowing that I made the world a better place."
and he would just keep telling himself that. they'd get married and have kids and on their thirtieth wedding anniversary toasting their eternal love in a luxury hotel room they just fucked nasty in for twenty whole old man minutes he'd still at the back of his head be like "I'm doing a very good deed by humoring him like this" and never see anything wrong with... any of that. and that's kyman
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