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It's been a month since the work from home keme and I'm missin' the troops #powerrangers . . . #mondaymadness #potd #tb #photodump #blackandwhite #pajamaparty #engineers https://www.instagram.com/p/B-7OcIClBvo/?igshid=vpzh1wtkvac9

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While doing this pose my knees are like cooked noodles 😅 . . . #mondaymadness #tb #photodump #travel #travelph #morefuninph #pinasmuna #philippines #mothernature #naturelover #hike #cordilleras #instatravel #follow #buwisbuhayshot (at Gungal Rock) https://www.instagram.com/p/B-6p82NBKaI/?igshid=1b391497a8awp

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Yes, I'm still conquering my fear of heights 😅 . . . #mondaymadness #tb #photodump #travel #travelph #morefuninph #pinasmuna #philippines #mothernature #naturelover #hike #cordilleras #instatravel #follow #buwisbuhayshot (at Gungal Rock) https://www.instagram.com/p/B-6pomIBfye/?igshid=1rrciycdvydxb

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Well, instagram just can't get the whole photo so I had to put it on a frame coz it's too disappointing without the view 😅 . . . #mondaymadness #tb #photodump #travel #travelph #morefuninph #pinasmuna #philippines #mothernature #naturelover #hike #cordilleras #instatravel #follow (at Gungal Rock) https://www.instagram.com/p/B-6pRIeBn36/?igshid=10yjjwfh0j4oa

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Keep . . . #mondaymadness #tb #photodump #travel #travelph #morefuninph #pinasmuna #philippines #mothernature #naturelover #hike #cordilleras https://www.instagram.com/p/B-5_vVuhk7X/?igshid=esu17fqtlers

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Moving . . . #mondaymadness #tb #photodump #travel #travelph #morefuninph #pinasmuna #philippines #mothernature #naturelover #hike #cordilleras (at Itogon, Benguet) https://www.instagram.com/p/B-5_rEghiRa/?igshid=tw9bujo6zuj9

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Forward . . . #mondaymadness #tb #photodump #travel #travelph #morefuninph #pinasmuna #philippines #mothernature #naturelover #hike #cordilleras (at Itogon, Benguet) https://www.instagram.com/p/B-5_mL6h4BW/?igshid=1oxhrrd3zfe54

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A Letter To My Thirty-Year-Old Self

Dear Thirty-Year-Old Cleo,

It has been a month since the COVID19 is widely spreading throughout the Philippines. It has also been a while since I wrote. This Enhanced Community Quarantine (ECQ) in Luzon isn’t really helping. It has been stated that our country hasn’t reached it’s peak. I’m worried and I pray for all the frontliners.

  It’s almost a month since we started working from home. I miss the office buddies, the drinks, conversations with Power Rangers, team Bottoms Up and Puti, also my boss, and most of all, RJ.

I had a lot of time to think for the pass couple weeks. It feels like a year under this ECQ. And all I did was look back to all that has happened since I started the adulting life. I can never forget the day I met him. And that’s seven years ago today. Who would’ve thought that by this time he’s already in the arms of another girl? Who would’ve thought that I would be able to forgive him for what happened? And who would’ve thought I’d fall in love with someone who obviously isn’t likely to love me?

Today I was asked “Why didn’t you wanted to know why he wanted a break up?” and everytime with that kind of question I say and quote that according to Riecco he wanted to find and fix himself. I can see that he did but without me in the picture. Of course when I found out the news I had mixed emotions I went directly to my best friend, Ashera and drank a bit of brandy. And at some time I also told my mom and my high school best friend, Dolly. They all said the same thing “Maybe that’s the life that he wants but you want different”

Honestly, this isn’t the life I expected since I started working. Since 2018 rather. I have unleashed the darkest part of myself in which other people couldn’t handle. I changed a lot. And as time goes by I learned to embrace my dark self. But the problem is, every time someone wants to walk into my life I keep on shutting the door.

EVERY. DAMN. TIME.

I became so afraid of commitment, of words I hear, of guys saying that they like me. I am still healing. I haven’t given myself the love I deserve. So looking back, I used to give all my love to others wherein there’s nothing left for me.

So seven years from now, I hope you read this again and you’re living the life that you deserve. The life wherein you are following your dream to become a writer. I hope you already forgave yourself for all your mistakes and learn from it. I hope you’ve traveled 81 provinces of the Philippines (including the annual #TheBestieWeekend with Daki and Kurt), Northern Vietnam, Japan, Europe, New Orleans, and many more on your list.

I hope you’re married or you’re with someone who sees the best in you and made a big contribution in becoming the best version of yourself. I hope you made mama and papa proud. I hope you’ll be able to build that dream house in the Cordilleras and bring the Team Canits there. And most of all, I hope you stored and collected memories to tell your children, nieces, nephews, godsons, and goddaughters.

Moving on isn’t easy but everyone has to move forward. You can never stop yourself from looking back because it’s what made you who you are today. If any of these goals came true, please write me a letter. From now on, I will be moving on to the next picture of my life. I’m glad you didn’t end life a few years ago no matter how many times it should have happened.

I love you and I’m looking forward to your adventure! 

Love,

Twenty three-year-old Cleo

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The Giants 😅 #nationalsiblingsday https://www.instagram.com/p/B-zNP42lal5/?igshid=15thz9k35pa9q

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Sunrise, I have run this far still I find you Sunrise, show my weary heart, that a new day will soon arrive A new day will soon arrive 🎶 . . . #mondaymadness #potd #goodmorning #quarantineandchill #campingvibes #sunrise #lyrics #music #benandben #bestfriends #sincehighschool #blackandwhite #hope (at Villamor, Pasay, Philippines) https://www.instagram.com/p/B-ngjfylMkV/?igshid=4iuw612uvd6z

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After this COVID thing I have to travel again tss lakwatsera probs 😬 . . . #flashbackfriday #photodump #silenthill #travel #travelph #LakbayLuzon2020 #LakbayLuzonNiKei2020 #morefuninph #pinasmuna #hike #adventure #fog #instalike #follow (at Itogon, Benguet) https://www.instagram.com/p/B-hNm9gBKSb/?igshid=65chprqz0lwz

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Palamig nga muna tayo sa mainit na gobyerno issues 😬 . . . #tbt #photodump #silenthill #travel #travelph #LakbayLuzon2020 #LakbayLuzonNiKei2020 #morefuninph #pinasmuna #hike #adventure #fog #instalike #follow (at Itogon, Benguet) https://www.instagram.com/p/B-e62CJBGAW/?igshid=amui57gp7mlg

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Even more, I had never meant to love him. One thing I truly knew - knew it in the pit of my stomach, in the center of my bones, knew it from the crown of my head to the soles of my feet, knew it deep in my empty chest - was how love gave someone the power to break you . . . #waybackwednesday #aprilfoolsday #potd #tb #photodump #bookworm #bookwormproblems #twilight #movielines #bellaswan #travel #travelph #LakbayLuzon2020 #LakbayLuzonNiKei2020 #morefuninph #pinasmuna #hike #adventure #mothernature #naturelover #gogreen #sunrise #landscape #goprohero8 #gopro_moment #instalike #follow (at Itogon, Benguet) https://www.instagram.com/p/B-cOEYEhJfJ/?igshid=1oyotjb4j4yfp

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I'm the dark part of Alessa (🤐⛰️) . . . #womensmonth #tb #photodump #silenthill #beforecovid19 #travel #travelph #LakbayLuzon2020 #LakbayLuzonNiKei2020 #morefuninph #pinasmuna #hike #adventure #fog #creepy #instalike #follow (at Itogon, Benguet) https://www.instagram.com/p/B-Zh1olhpPv/?igshid=2et18fvfsqhs

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Saya mo teh? 😬 📸 ate Sharmaine . . . #mondaymadness #tb #photodump #hotairballoon #festival #beforecovid19 #LakbayLuzon2020 #LakbayLuzonNiKei2020 #morefuninph #pinasmuna #crowded #instalike #follow #happy #airsafari (at San Lazaro Leisure Park) https://www.instagram.com/p/B-WRcMahQLb/?igshid=7jjcyhmtv6tc

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You can never replace anyone because everyone is made of such beautiful specific details -Celine, Before Sunrise . . . #tb #photodump #hotairballoon #festival #lines #beforesunrise #beforecovid19 #LakbayLuzon2020 #LakbayLuzonNiKei2020 #morefuninph #pinasmuna #goprohero8 #gopro_moment #crowded (at San Lazaro Leisure Park) https://www.instagram.com/p/B-UBOZ9hfZi/?igshid=1ac825c3whr0u

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While looking for a photo for the "until tomorrow" chain thing I saw this and remembered how you made me so happy. Then one day all the happiness just disappeared in a snap. Riecco, you are by far the best thing that happened to me. Thank you for being a part of me and who I am today 😊💚 . . . #tb #2017 #2017getaways #memapost #memories #ex #collegedays #palawan #morefuninph #beach #mothernature #naturelover #blackandwhite (at Nagtabon Beach) https://www.instagram.com/p/B-Rojgzlz7h/?igshid=f6ioygbq2rc3