xbakajanaino

[xbakajanaino]

I’m not sleeping well lately. I’m not sure what it is.

I think I’m pretty anxious perhaps, stressed. There’s a lot on my plate right now. I actually didn’t sleep at all just night and I’ve got work in a couple hours haha

How’re you? Are you well? I heard you had some complications with everything going on. It worried me.

I hope everything is okay. I’m always here

[xbakajanaino]

I’m so happy to hear from you. I feel a lot of relief because of it.

I’m glad you’re well. If I do ever comment on your posts, would that be a form of communication? Or should I refrain from that and just comment my thoughts about the post in question?

What made you unblock me after all this time?

[xbakajanaino]

One year. Today marks one long, grueling year since we’ve spoken last. Since the events of that night took place. It’s still so hard to believe that it’s been a year: it went by so quickly yet so slowly.

I miss you kid.

I made a lot of mistakes inside of our friendship. I know that now. I’m so sorry. I truly hope you can forgive me. If it means anything, I want you to know that I am doing better. A lot better. I just wish… I just wish we could have talked about it. You know?

It still hurts. So many things remind me of the time we used to spend together. So many little things. Things that don't matter and should be unnoticeable are always there to remind me of you.

But hey, what can you do, right?

I hope you are doing well. I wish I could hear from you. I’d like nothing more than that. I really hope you are happy.

And please, if you can, please find it in your heart to forgive me.

[xbakajanaino]

Hi! I hope that you are doing well. I hope that you are achieving everything you want in life.

We are quickly approaching a year huh? It’s weird. It’s gone so quickly, yet so slowly. It’s been a very painful year, I won���t lie. It hasn’t been easy. It’s been a test of endurance. I’m really sorry for everything, truly. I hope your wounds have healed and that you’re doing better.

I said it before but I heard the news! Congratulations, I’m very happy for you. I know he will be as amazing as you are.

If you need me, don’t forget that I’m here. I’ll always be here.

I hope to hear from you sometime. Though unlikely, it’d be nice.

See ya later, kid.

[xbakajanaino]

It’s nice to see that you’re still around, honestly.

These past 10 months have been rough and it still hurts. But I’m managing. I’m doing okay, though I haven’t watched or played any of the things we used to 😅

I still hold on to hope that one day I’ll wake up to a message from you. A silly dream I know, but it keeps me going.

Good luck, I’m not sure if it’s happened yet but congratulations again. He’s going to be incredible.

[xbakajanaino]

I heard the news, congratulations! He’ll be wonderful

[xbakajanaino]

September will be 10 months and I’m not really sure how I feel. I still am uneasy. I still miss you.

The more time that passes, the more I worry that you will forget our friendship. Maybe it’s a good thing though.

I’m always here, okay? I know I say it all the time and I’m sorry for repeating myself. But I’ll always be here and I don’t want you to forget that.

Stay safe, okay? Message me if you ever need anything.

Miss ya kid

[xbakajanaino]

Glad to see you’re still around, even if it was only for a fleeting moment.

I’m happy to see you’re editing again, you’re doing it now actually. I hope it’s going well. Don’t push yourself too hard. Make sure to take breaks.

I miss ya kid.

I hope you’re doing well

[xbakajanaino]

I’m kinda stuck. I feel as though my life has come to a standstill and I’m not sure what to do. Hell, I’m not even sure why I’m writing this or who I am writing it for.

A bit silly isn’t it? Like yelling into the void and expecting a response.

Anyhow, life has been creeping so slowly lately. It feels as though it could drag on forever.

There is a saying, isn't there, something like 'a watched pot never boils?' I believe I am in a situation similar.

I am just waiting. Waiting for what, I don't know.

It is the waiting that is getting me. The constant feeling of being in one place, unmoving and unable to go backwards or forwards.

So this is where I am. Stuck and unmoving.

I hope you are having better luck than me. Working on your videos or anything else really.

If you are working, please don't forget to take a break, you always work so hard and never really give yourself a chance to relax.

I don't know, maybe you are relaxing.

Maybe I'm not the only one with nothing to do.

In any case, I’m always here. Forever hoping for the day I can speak to you again.

I'm sorry I don't have much else to say.

Please be happy.

Your Friend.

[xbakajanaino]

It’s been a while. We’re coming up on 6 months now since we’ve spoken properly. I still think about you quite often. I know now that you won’t see these updates anymore but that’s okay. I’ll still do them occasionally.

I’m so sorry.

[xbakajanaino]

I had a dream about you last night. It was a bit strange.

You were at my house and I sat you down because I wanted to talk about everything. You told me a lot of things but for the life of me I can’t remember what any of it was.

I felt like you gave me closure though. I felt like everything was ok.

It was a lovely dream.

I really miss you, Kid.

[xbakajanaino]

[xbakajanaino]

Been a bit since I’ve updated this! Not really sure what you say so I guess I’ll just ramble a bit.

My birthday is coming up. March 29th. Really feels like I’m getting old now haha. I’ll be 28.

Played some CS2 this week. Well, I tried to. It was the first time I’ve touched it since everything. It just wasn’t the same.

I reached out to some people that I haven’t talked to in about 4 months but unsurprisingly, I didn’t get a response.

I’m trying to fit in with some more people lately. Trying to find a group of friends. No success so far but I guess I’ll keep trying.

Got a raise at work! Thought I was going to be fired but I guess I was just a bit anxious.

I don’t think you’re going to see this. I really don’t. Of course I hope you do! But, I dunno…

I’ve been blocked in places I never thought I would be. I completely understand. I just hope you’re okay.

I’m always here no matter what. Don’t forget that, ok?

[xbakajanaino]

I should probably tell you: I have another account in your server that you don’t know about. Should I leave or may I stay

[xbakajanaino]

So what’s going on in your life? I still worry about you ya know. If you want to tell me I’m here to listen. I won’t respond but just know I’m here

[xbakajanaino]

I’m not sure if you still use Pinterest as you haven’t been there in a month, but I still update your boards

[xbakajanaino]

I hope I didn’t worry you with my post. I only now realized how it sounded. I’m very sorry.

I’m just tired, ya know? Everything has been so insanely hard lately. I feel like I’m getting kicked over and over again.

I have not had the easiest time these past few weeks. I lost two more close friends and had a death in my immediate family.

I wish I had some good news to share. I’m sorry it’s always negative things being posted here.