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One day, you’re 17 and you’re planning for someday. And then quietly, without you ever really noticing, someday is today. And then someday is yesterday. And this is your life.

John Green   (via slutstatus)

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delete that off the internet

my mom (via unclefather)

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my life is just a collection of poorly made decisions with alternative music playing in the background

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“mickey mouse it says you want to divorce minnie because she was…… extremely silly?”

“no, i said she was fucking goofy”

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Selfie 🙊💞

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do you ever get a weird crush on someone that’s not even attractive but you’re just attracted to them and you don’t know why

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I was chatting with a donor before I drew his blood, and he was a dentist. when I actually drew him, there was just a little squirt of blood and it surprised him

I looked him in they eye and told him “you’re bleeding because you don’t floss”

and he went dead silent

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this cant be fucking serious what the fuck

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this guy in my class said his brother lost his wallet in Canada and someone shipped it back with souvenirs