xalwaysagustx

[xalwaysagustx]

"In a cloudless atmosphere, After the fog has lifted. He'll grow and persevere, cause that's the curse of the gifted."

~Starry~

"They call you a madman, well so much the worse. You know that you're crazy, you know that you're cursed."

"Arists are so tortured and the good ones die so young."

-"I don't wanna die" By Petie

[xalwaysagustx]

Sometimes I feel so sad that the people i love aren't my people

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[xalwaysagustx]

“Promise me not to hide yourself when you’re in pain, it’s unfair that we laughed together but you cried alone”

— Unknown

[xalwaysagustx]

The Hearts Desire - Chapter 2

Summary:

When Van Helsing feels he should help a young girl who stood upon a bridge in the dead of night, he signs himself up for one hell of a ride. Can these two help each other heal from the emotional damages inflicted upon them from their past?

Parts:

1 | 2 |

Blue colored ceiling, like the sky but clear of all clouds, nothing to ruin such a perfect day. The first time she felt peaceful, in her life? Maybe, maybe not, at least from what she can remember.

"Agh.." She took a deep breath, groaning from the pain that filled her chest. Her thoughts were a mix of 'where am I?' And 'am I dead?' She'd imagine death would he peaceful, not this painful... She turned her head, sleepy eyes meeting a man sitting on a chair. His arms were crossed infront of his chest but despite that fact he looked peaceful and at rest. Who... where..?

She tried to move up in the bed but started coughing, that's when Van sat up, looking towards the bed where the coughing continued.

"Hey, easy." He laid her head up against a pillow so she was sitting up.  She looked up to him with confused eyes, Van thought she looked like a sad puppy.

"Who?" She asked sleepily. Van sat down gently on the edge of the bed,

"I apologize if I startled you, my name is Abraham Van Helsing." She looked at him, still confused.

"It's uh nice to meet you.." She managed to say back.

"I know you're probably confused, I am aswell. Do you remember anything?"

Thinking for no more than a second her eyes teared up and she started to panic,

"Oh, I have to leave!" She tried to get out of thr bed but tumbled as she started to her feet.

"Woah!" Van grabbed ahold of her,

"No, you need to rest." He sat her on the bed,

"Just lie down."

She struggled "You dont understand!"

Just then, the door opened quickly,

"Are you guys alright, I heard a bang- Oh she's awake." Lupin realized.

"Yeah, help me settle her down please!" Van asked, in what Lupin would describe as the most calm panic he'd ever seen.

"Alright." Lupin walked over to her and laid a hand on her back, "Just sit and talk to us for a minute, please?" She looked at Lupin endearingly, she felt like she had too listen, he seemed very convincing.

"Okay" She put her head down, Van loosened his grip on her shoulders and helped her back into an upright lying position.

He stood back up and looked down to her on the bed, she looked so distraught and upset.

She started,

"Truly, I'm grateful to you for saving my life, but I should have just died on that bridge..." Lupin and Van looked at eachother with concerned faces

"Don't say such a thing." Lupin replied. Her face was one of sorrow and fear, there was plenty she wasn't telling them and Van was certain she had a good reason. He laid his hand on her shoulder,

"Lupin is right, you shouldn't say such things." His brows knit together with concern.

She wiped the tears from her face, even though they kept falling into her lap.

"No, really! I'm nothing but a nuisance. You're all in danger just with me being here." She sobbed harder the more she spoke. Van Helsing sighed and sat down on the edge of the bed,

"If you can explain to us your situation, we may be able to help." She lifted her tear filled eyes and looked at him, full of fear.

"You don't understand..." the action he took was bold, too bold for him and far from what could be expected out of the "cold hearted, war hero."

He took her hand and looked directly into her eyes,

"Help me understand." Her eyes lit up with a spark of comfort, like no one had ever showed her such a kind gesture before in her life. Lupin sat idly by, secretly shocked, but hopeful he'd get through to her.

She took a deep breath, looking down to her lap.

"Well... since as long as I can remember, I belonged to a family in the Mafia." The room got reasonably uncomfortable at the mention of the Mafia. While London specifically had mostly pleasant Mafia activity, the bad always hid out in the shadows to not be seen.

"I don't mean I have a mom and a dad, I mean since as long as I remember, I lived in a Mafia family." Her body slightly shook, he could see it on her face, how rough her life must have been.

"My whole life, all I've known was that I was set to be with a certain someone. He was the son of the current Mafia leader while we were little. Recently, though, he took over the family. His father died sooner than expected." She looked up towards them,

"I'm sure you know where this is going. It was an arranged marriage. Of course I knew it would happen one day, but I hated it. I'm simply a slave to him, to do whatever he wishes whenever he wishes." She swallowed hard, nearing closer to tears again. Her voices broke as she spoke up once more.

"The reason we were at that bridge... It was my fault, I upset him. He decided he didn't need me anymore, he sent me along with those men. They figured no one else would be out, given it was so late." Van gripped her hand tightly, hearing this made his heart ache, he was thanking God he was made to stay out late at work.

"Of course, you scared them off." She smiled softly, maybe the first smile they saw from her. "But the thing is... If he ever finds out I'm still alive, nothing will stop him from killing anyone in his path to make sure I'm his or no one's." Her smile faded away. Here sat a girl doomed to never be free from the chains of what she was born into.

"And so it's dangerous for me to be here, its not safe for you guys!" She pleaded. "I don't want to hurt anyone else.." Her voice quivered.

"Miss, this the safest place possible" Lupin started,

"We aren't in any danger, I know you don't know us, but if you could trust in us right now we can help you." He smiled, again she felt compelled to believe anything and everything this man said.

“I just don’t think your guys understa-“ Van Helsing held his hand up and shushed her,

“Certainly, miss, you underestimate us.” He looked at her and she looked down.

“If anyone gets hurt I don’t think I could forgive myself.”

“You aren’t the problem here, miss. Just stay here for awhile, recover, we’ll figure everything out soon enough.” Van replied, standing up from the chair.

“Indeed, get some sleep for awhile, we’ll leave you be.” Lupin turned to exit the room, Van following behind. She felt herself relax, still feeling sleepy.

“Thank you!” She exclaimed to them, even after the door was shut. She felt so thankful to whoever was watching over her, to send such wonderful people into her life just before it was almost lost. She prayed deeply that they would be okay.

<-------------------------- ♧ ------------------------->

Van helping let out a rather loud sigh behind the now shut door, Lupin feeling the same way.

“We ought to stop bringing home lost girls or Saint will kick us out” Lupin joked, nervously laughing hoping it didn’t have any truth to it.

“Maybe he wont mind if we bring one back for him, heh.”

“Well, it seems this one is yours, hm?”

Van Helsing hastily tried to brush him off, he didn’t really think through his actions when he was trying to get through to her. After all he’d been through, he saw himself in her and knew how to help. This didn’t mean he was in love with her though, which is what Lupin surely was implying. No, he just met her, he’s simply helping her out, giving out a little hope to a lost soul.

“What- don’t just ignore me and walk away!” Lupin exclaimed following Van as he walked away.

“Why are you so good at ignoring me…”

“I’ve practiced”

Lupin smiled, pretending to not be annoyed. His mind was quickly again occupied with the girl in the room they has just left, they have already had a run in with the mafia once before. To put it simply, it wasn’t pretty. His now wife, Cardia had been kidnapped along side the daughter of another mafia boss, Shirley. The Gordon Family was a very kind, fair, mafia family and in the end everyone had worked together to get back the ones they loved. But everyone now knows how horrifying the mafia can be, neither of them wanted to think about this poor girls life growing up.

“we probably should have asked things such as her name, age, the name of the mafia… But i really wanted her to get some rest first, and shell be safe here. Im gonna go back up and watch out for anything.” Van spoke up as they made their way down the stairs. “I’ll let you deal with everyone’s questions, I’m going to grab more water and food for her.”

“Alright, always giving me the shit job, aye? You were the one who brought her home- oh bloody hell stop walking away from me!” Lupin cursed him as he made his way to the kitchen.

“Give me a break” Van yelled.

After collecting a pitcher of water along with some snack’s he placed them on a tray and headed again upstairs, turning the corner and landing back at the room where the girl stayed. He creaked the door open ever so slightly, to make sure not to wake her. But turning to set the items on the bedside table he realized she wasn’t sleeping at all, she was sobbing. Her face was turned away from him, she probably hadn’t even heard him enter. Van Helsing was never good at comfort, everyone regards him as “cold” and “emotionless” and would never expect him to care enough for anyone to offer emotional comfort. He himself, hardly thought he cared. Or maybe he tried to pretend not to care, but his heart had a dull ache for this young girl, and he didn’t know why, he had only just met her. Whether he was emotionless or just held them back, she made him want to comfort her and he didn’t know how to deal with that.

“Hey..” he spoke up, she visibly jumped and turned her head around.

“Oh! Im sorry I.. I thought you guys had left…” she hastily wiped the tears from her eyes and worked herself back onto the other side of the bed, to face him.

“I had, but I came back up to watch out for you. The mafia isn’t a joke for certain.” When he said that her face filled with worry, noticing he quickly too back his words,

“I mean, if someone was sent, not that they could know where we are, you wouldn’t be able to defend yourself in this state. But truly, don’t worry too much about it, that’s why I’m here.”

She relaxed, but still held the frown that she’d came with, yet to let go of it.

“Please don’t cry, everything will be okay.” Van let out, surprising himself. He didn’t look unsure of himself however, and she bursted into tears. He panicked,

“Wait I um!” He placed his hand on her arm and she grabbed ahold of him, bringing him into a hug. He gasped and fell into leaning on the bed. Sitting there in shock for a moment, he slowly and gently placed his arms around her. His expression relaxed into a soft, sad smile.

“I know…” He did know, he was under control once, too.

“God sent me such an angel.” She choked out into his shoulder. An angel? That’s the last thing he would expect to hear from anyone about him. He was more of a monster than an angel.

Slowly, she regained her composure and when she pulled away Van could see on her face that she needed that, she was the most relaxed she had been since she got there. She laid back down, Van lifted himself from the bed and pulled the blanket back up to her.

“Miss, may I ask your name?” He asked, sitting down in the chair beside the bed.

“Mhm, its Evelyn.” She sighed, still worked up from crying.

“It’s nice to have met you, Evelyn. If you aren’t up to it, tell me, but if you could give me more information I’d id like to ask a few questions? I’d like to know as much as possible, to keep you out of harms way.” He asked tenderly, in all honesty she has felt the best shes felt in a very long time, talking to him about all of this felt like a calming idea.

“I’m up for it.” She replied. Van smiled, very slightly. She noticed how his happy expression is always so light, like he doesn’t think he should be happy.

“First… Tell me about yourself, do you have any hobbies? How old are you?” Van smirked, she started laughing slightly.

“Hehe, hobbies? I wonder how that will help you keep me out of harms way.” She smiled, smiled, he liked that. When she smiled, it made him wanna smile. This is what Lupin would call love at first sight, but that doesn’t happen to Abraham Van Helsing. Not that he would believe in such a thing anyway.

“Well, I don’t want to run at you with all these difficult, hurtful questions to start you off, miss.”

“I really appreciate that. Um, what did you say your name was again? I apologize I’m terrible with names.” She asked him, with curious eyes.

“It’s Abraham Van Helsing.” He told her, expecting her to know the name. Hesitating because of it.

“That’s such a lovely name, your parent chose well.” She smiled. A name that people associate only with war, she saw it as lovely.

“I’m 18, by the way. I also enjoy baking and gardening. Before everything occurred, I would tend to the garden and work with herbs.”

“An herbalist, hm?” He inquired, impressed.

“Well, I’m not sure about that…” She looked away shyly “Thats a pretty formal title, for what I did.”

“Still, impressive.” She smiled, no one even appreciated her work when she did it. Van shifted, worried to ask the next question.

“Miss, might I ask the name of the mafia family who you were apart of?” He looked at her, praying this wouldn’t upset her too much.

“It’s Crudele.”

Van Helsing stared at her, confusion filled his features.”

“That… Are you sure? I don’t think that’s possible..” He asked, even if he heard it correctly the first time.

“Avido Crudele. He died recently, but he was the only leader who I have known. I don’t know any history, but its now led by his son, Percy Crudele.” She explained thoroughly, worried she said something wrong.

“Miss, Avido Crudele isn’t dead.” He stated firmly. She looked at him confused, that can’t be? He is dead, or else Percy would have never took his spot, he never came back from that ship so where could he be? Van Helsing sat back in the chair.

“This just got complicated…”

[xalwaysagustx]

The Hearts Desire - Chapter 1

Summary:

When Van Helsing feels he should help a young girl who stood upon a bridge in the dead of night, he signs himself up for one hell of a ride. Can these two help each other heal from the emotional damages inflicted upon them from their past?

Parts:

1 | 2 |

<----------------------- ♧ ---------------------->

Van Helsing walks on the empty streets of London, on a quiet peaceful night. Coming back from the castle where he worked as a bodyguard for a certain someone. Currently there was conflict on the rights of vampires, in human history they were seen as evil but given new information about the vampire war, people are fighting for that equality. Van Helsing was the "war hero" of said war, he murdered hundreds senseless. While he knows he can't make up for it, and putting aside the fact it wasn't his fault, he'll forever feel in debt too the whole race. Especially though to young Delacroix. He looked up from the concrete to cross over the bridge, it would usually be busy with cars, people and busses. But the only thing he noticed was a group of people standing on the other side. It was rather unusual, and when I looked a bit closer he stopped in his tracks, he saw three men holding a girl. Shoulder length, brown hair. Her eyes were dark and looked as if she had been crying. She didn't struggle as they pulled her around, pushing her body onto the rails of the bridge and forcing her head to look over and down into the water below them. She only let out a soft grunt through all the abuse.

"Take a good look, honey. It's the last thing you'll ever see." The men laughed.

Urgency shot through him, it was clear there was some sort of foul play going on. He couldn't ignore it, he couldn't walk away, the image of her flooded his head when he would look away from them.

"Hey." He started over towards them, it seemed as though they panicked, which wasn't what Van expected. His expression turned more worried as they pushed the girl closer to the edge. His speed picked up but by the time he was close enough to do anything her scream filled the empty streets and the men were running in the other direction. He expected a fight, which he would have been able to take with ease. But this, he just missed her sweater as she fell. His face turned to shock and didn't hesitate to jump directly in after her. Stupid. That's what he was thinking, but his body didn't show it. The water was cold, freezing even. In the middle of November it would be, but he pretty easily focused back onto the goal soon after hitting the water. He held his breath and felt around desperately, coming up to see if he could see anything. It was pitch black below the bridge, the only light they had before was that of the few street lamps.

"Ah!" He gasped as he saw what he thought to be the fabric of the yellow cardigan she wore. Swimming over instantly he grabbed ahold of her and swan right towards the land on the side of the bridge he came from.

"Dammit! What the hell?!" He cursed lying her on the ground, he checked if she was breathing and he felt nothing.

"Shit." He muttered as he started cpr, it only took a minute before she choked up the water and gasped for air. He sighed heavily and picked her up again. They needed to get back to the mansion as quickly as possible, even if he was okay in the cold with wet clothes, she was already on the verge of death. Lucky for them, it wasn't far from the bridge.

<----------------------- ♧ ---------------------->

A harsh three knocks sounded at the door, the two people who sat on the couch reading jumped, startled.

"Now, who would he knocking at the door this late?" Lupin sighed.

"Maybe it's an emergency?" Cardia hopped up and started towards the door.

"Wait, Cardia. Let me go first." Lupin said, ushering her back. He opened the door, he was shocked to see Van holding a young girl, both soaking wet.

"What-" He started confused, but Van just ran past him in search of Victor.

"Oh my- Victor!" Cardia let out, realizing instantly what Van Helsing was going for. Van headed towards the small room where Victor set up his medical supplies. It would have been a better idea to go to a clinic, yes. But Van Helsing knew this would ultimately be the better route. He had no idea who she was and given someome tried to kill her he wouldn't feel safe taking her to a public clinic, let alone leaving her there. He also knew Victor was the best doctor in London, and his clinic was closed. Lucky for them though, the best doctor in London lived right in the next room from himself.

Entering the room, he laid her down on the table. Soon after Victor came in, looking very confused but started on checking her out.

"Go, Van. Make up a bed in one of the spare rooms, I'll check her out." Victor gave him a reassuring smile, but as soon as he left the room his expression went to concentrated.

Lupin and Cardia stood in the hall when Van Helsing stepped out of the room.

"I'm very curious about what's going on." Lupin said, a concerned look washing over his face. He pinched the bridge of his nose, shaking his head.

"I don't even know where to start"

"How about why you guys are soaking wet? Or maybe where you found the girl?" Lupin sighed.

"Why are you nagging me? I seem to remember you drug home a girl in need of help aswell." Van said annoyed. Not that this wasn't a valid question, but after all he's gone through in the last 30 minutes, he's irritated.

"Sorry, sorry." Van said quickly, ready for a lecture.

"While I was walking home I saw a group of people at the start of the oakland bridge. I didn't think much of it until I looked closer, it was about 3 or 4 men shoving that girl around. They threw her off the bridge before I could get over there but I jumped in after her."

Lupin and Cardia had expressions of disbelief, they would assume he was joking if Van Helsing joked around, but he doesn't.

"You.. just jumped in? In the water, off a bridge, in the middle of winter?" Lupin stammered.

"Are you okay?!" Cardia asked quickly.

"Hold on a moment, Impey quite literally fires me put of a canon and no one bats an eye. But I jump off a bridge into water and I get shocked faces?" Van laughed sarcastically, the only one who needs worried expressions is the girl laying in a bed two doors down. He doesn't even know if there is anyone out there to make that worried expression for her.

"Enough of the talking, will you two help me make up a room for her?" Van asked.

"Hold on, shouldn't he ask The Count before rushing into this?"

"I'll explain things later, what do you expect me to do, throw her out the door?"

Lupin sighed and reluctantly started to help. Cardia, who has already rushed off to grab blankets and sheets walked into the room and started setting up the bed.

"No need to be so hesitant, dear. She needs our help." She placed her hand on Lupin shoulder, and he also questioned why he was hesitant. Van was right, he drug home a girl, too. And he's looking into her eyes at this moment.

"You're right, let's hurry and pray she'll be okay."

<----------------------- ♧ ---------------------->

"Everything seems basically okay, she'll probably be rather sore when she wakes up from hitting that water but otherwise... Which, are you okay from hitting the water?" Victor asked him the same question Lupin and Cardia had,

"Yes, I'm okay." He muttered, not taking his eyes off the bed where she lay.

"Alright, good. I don't know how you always avoid injury but I can't say it's a bad thing. She's also suffering from a rough bit of hypothermia, but you pulling her out so quickly definitely helped prevent a much worse outcome." Victor started picking up some of his tools,

"I'm gonna head back into the other room and continue some work, if she wakes up let me know." He turned and walked out the door.

Van walked over to the bed and sat down on the chair beside it. He sighed heavily, it felt like the first breath he took since he got out of work. He thought of getting some food ready for her, but assumed they'd try and keep him from doing so since for some reason the others didn't like him cooking. It doesn't matter much though, it's probably better someone be here if- when she wakes up, so she isn't startled. Although, thinking about it, maybe seeing an unknown man next to her bed could be more startling. How will he even approach her? What does he say first? What if she panics? Reasonably so if she did but they're only here to help. He imagines a hurt animal scared of the person who will ultimately help them. For now it didn't matter, whoever she was, wherever she came from, she's safe right now. After everything that that happened he was glad it was the outcome, and though reluctant to say so, he was exhausted. He may back in the chair and closed his eyes, he wouldn't go to sleep, just rest a bit. Or so that's what he had planned.

<----------------------- ♧ ---------------------->

[xalwaysagustx]

i'm jewish and two of my closest friends are a muslim woman and a christian woman, and today we decided that this weekend would be a more opportune time of year than the month of december to say "happy holidays" since it's good friday and easter sunday, passover, and ramadan all happening on one weekend, rather than like. hanukkah, christmas, kwanzaa, new year's, etc. happening roughly over the course of 4-6 weeks. so. happy holidays to anyone celebrating this weekend :)

[xalwaysagustx]

My future home has to look like a Ghibli movie. 🌿

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🌱🌿🌱🌿🌱

[xalwaysagustx]

Yi Lei, Mother

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you’ll always look beautiful to souls that are chosen to love you.

[xalwaysagustx]

I feel like... I glorify death. It's almost frightening to me, honestly I didn't think I'd share this with another soul but... I'm sure it's only me, thinking about these terrible things?! I just don't know why or how I ended up this way.

I don't think I really wish to die? I just... I don't know, this is so selfish, I want someone to realize what I mean to them? Maybe I don't want to die, I just want someone to know I could have, so maybe I wouldn't be pushed away and thrown down.

But then again, maybe they'd be upset I didn't.

[xalwaysagustx]

Kakeru Narsuse

[xalwaysagustx]

enemies to lovers or friends to lovers // coffee shop au or flower shop au // hurt/comfort or there was only one bed // found family or partners in crime // canon compliant or canon divergent // domesticity or pwp // fluff or angst with a happy ending // misunderstandings or major character death // 1st person pov or 3rd person pov // soulmates or forbidden love // roommates or fake dating // slow burn or meet-cute // love triangle or polyamorous relationship // secret relationship or unrequited love // royalty au or magic au // high school/college au or neighbours au // mutual pining or idiots to lovers

[xalwaysagustx]

You know what I love?

Enemies to Lovers but person A only realizes they love person B because person B is hurt really badly or dying. Then, after desperately trying to keep them alive, get them to the hospital, them sitting at person B's bed regretting all the mean things they said to person B. Eventually when person B wakes up, person A breaks down and apologizes. And then, lovers. >:)

[xalwaysagustx]

[xalwaysagustx]

Aizawa x Pregnant!Reader Imagines

When he find out that you pregnant, its so heartwarming to him.

Like he's never really thought about having kids and he never even thought he'd be in a relationship! So he's a bit shocked. not because of the news particularly, but because he's realizing how happy this makes him.

Aizawa doesn't show his emotions well, so the happiness will come in a few small ways.

The night after the day he found out, he's so happy to just hold you. But he won't tell you that.

He'll wrap his arms around you from behind while you guys are lying down and place his hands on your stomach. Almost for comfort. To tell you that he's there for you guys and to remind himself of the precious things he has.

You are laying on the couch or bed while watching TV or reading a book when he comes home from work. He always insisted that you sleep and not wait up, to make sure you and the baby were as healthy as can be. But you stayed up to fall asleep with him sometimes.

After changing, maybe taking a shower he'll come lay down with you. At some points he's just so overwhelmed with joy about this baby. While you're falling asleep he moves down to rest his head on your stomach and just whispers about how happy he is for this and thanking you for giving him so much happiness.

He doesn't think you hear, but you do.

In the mornings he loves to get up and make you breakfast. But sometimes after he had a late night at work, you'd be able to get up earlier than him and make him breakfast.

It always half disappoints him but he's also happy to know you appreciate him. Plus this way he can sneak up on you and hug you from behind, he honestly just loves to put his hands against your belly even before its grown much.

This man always wants you off your feet, it can be annoying sometimes but you know he's just worried. He hates having to leave you at home and calls to check in very often.

"Yes, I'm just as fine as I was 20 minutes ago" you smile. "I'm just making sure, be careful on the stairs-" he says in a monotone voice, even though he's full of concern. You smirk and hang up the phone, what are you gonna do with this man.

While he's happy about this, it also makes him very anxious. He's a hero and his costume is not very good at hiding his identity. With everything that happened at the USJ and the Camp he's concerned that anyone from the LOV wouldn't hesitate to take hostages. I mean they already took Bakugou.

Dabi specifically called him out at the Camp attack, he certainly knows who he is and if anyone sees you guys together someplace... It just scares him.

You certainly do a lot of reassuring about both those worries and his doubts about him being a good father

"Shou you have basically raised the kids in your class. they wouldn't be who they are without some of your influence. you basically take care of them all day when your at the dorms"

You'd tell him how wonderful his students are, how everyone has a influence on their life and how his influence is meaningful, so this baby will be fine.

This is why he loves you, you always know what to say.

And damn if you start having doubts he pulls the student card too.

"Y/n you have to realize how much my student love you, right? You're wonderful with kids. Honestly, both my students and vlads students probably like you more than they do us"

You'd get very embarrassed and thank him. This is why you loved him, he always knows what to say.