wyrd-woman

[wyrd-woman]

only 5 seconds

[wyrd-woman]

I wish our roomba still worked.

Our roomba (Dracula) gets his eyes caught on things so husband has removed them while he vacuums. I’m really uncomfortable watching Dracula bumble into stuff with tape patches marking his eyeless sockets while he cleans our house for free. I hate that Husband returns his eyes when he’s finished, accidentally reinforcing a sort of “eyes are for good little workers” message.

I need to glue the styrofoam eyes on better so Dracula can have them all the time. And maybe I’ll feed him a handful of sand just for him as a thank you for all his hard work.

[wyrd-woman]

ʻIʻiwi

Drepanis coccinea Hakalau Forest NWR Mauna Kea, Hawaiʻi

[wyrd-woman]

albatrosses will wipe the floor with any species of bird you choose to compare them to. they’re the Most, or at least Extremely, by almost every metric

[wyrd-woman]

interesting

my personal pick for most underrated animal is the european legless lizard, which i think is often taken to just look like a normal and rather plain snake, but if you're familiar with reptile anatomy at all it looks more like some sort of bizarre heraldic fantasy creature than basically anything else on earth

[wyrd-woman]

Just in time for Valentine’s Day... 💔 

Ready to break up with Google?

So are we!

We’ve rounded up a bunch of privacy-centric alternatives for everything Google.

Check out the full list over on the blog!

- The Ellipsus Team xo

[wyrd-woman]

Not a bat.

i stepped on the scale today and it said “bat”

it took me a few seconds to realize it meant the battery was out, but before i realized that i just said “i am not a bat” out loud

[wyrd-woman]

OMG I feel seen and I do not like it.

[wyrd-woman]

I enjoyed the first chapter of your version of snow white, very intriguing.

I know you have a lot to work on as is, so i’m not asking you to write something else, rather more of your opinion

If you were to write a version of jack and the beanstalk, would the narrative side with jack or the giant

My first thought was immediately "The Giant posting his issues with Jack on Reddit."

[PHOTO] Rate my haul. Yes, the magic harp is real.

r/magicharps [PHOTO] I know you're probably tired of seeing it but idc the light was too good this afternoon

r/identifythisplant [PHOTO] This wasn't here yesterday...

[PHOTO] HUMAN INFESTATION IN MY HOUSE!!! HELP???

[AITA] Found out my wife has been feeding the human that broke into our house and blew up at her. But it's disgusting, right?

[URGENT] HE TOOK MY FUCKING HARP

[wyrd-woman]

terrible mishap in the dungeon today after the gelatinous slime took a nap in my jello cup. we will all miss wiggly steve

[wyrd-woman]

You become a cop because you want to be a "good cop".

Cops do something atrocious, as always.

Protesters demand that cops stop being atrocious.

You then expect the protesters to rephrase their complaints in order to acknowledge the existence of you, the "good cop".

You're hindering the protesters' fight for justice. You're demanding that they prioritize your feelings even though you willingly chose to join the atrocious system and enforce it.

[wyrd-woman]

wait for the end to see the cutest face

[wyrd-woman]

BEE DAGGER !!

[wyrd-woman]

Because people are stupid and anything they don't understand must be bad. That's why we live in the stupidest timeline.

Children are expected to address their teachers by Mr or Ms. In other words, every single time a child address their teacher, they must acknowledge what genitals their teacher has.

Not only that, but they're also expected to call their female teachers Miss or Mrs based on whether they're married. In other words, they have to not only acknowledge that she has a vagina, but also acknowledge whether she lives with someone who regularly puts his penis in her vagina.

Why doesn't that bother anyone?

Could it be because it's fucking weird to interpret everything in the most sexual way possible? And because it's so obvious how fucking weird it is?

So why does that suddenly change when an LGBT person is involved? Why is the simple display of a rainbow flag considered grooming? Why is gay pride interpreted as "celebrating that you do butt stuff"? Why is mentioning that you're LGBT to a child compared to showing them pornography?