wyrd-woman

[wyrd-woman]

I saw a post saying that Boromir looked too scruffy in FotR for a Captain of Gondor, and I tried to move on, but I’m hyperfixating. Has anyone ever solo backpacked? I have. By the end, not only did I look like shit, but by day two I was talking to myself. On another occasion I did fourteen days’ backcountry as the lone woman in a group of twelve men, no showers, no deodorant, and brother, by the end of that we were all EXTREMELY feral. You think we looked like heirs to the throne of anywhere? We were thirteen wolverines in ripstop.

My boy Boromir? Spent FOUR MONTHS in the wilderness! Alone! No roads! High floods! His horse died! I’m amazed he showed up to Imladris wearing clothes, let alone with a decent haircut. I’m fully convinced that he left Gondor looking like Richard Sharpe being presented to the Prince Regent in 1813

*electric guitar riff*

And then rocked up to Imladris a hundred ten days later like

[wyrd-woman]

today on neat hozier retweets: disappearing birds!

[wyrd-woman]

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You! Have been visited by the gnome of executive function! Reblog to send them along to make sure they visit the next person in need!

🍄🌿🍄🌱🍄🌿🍄🌱🍄🌿🍄🌱🍄🌿🍄

[wyrd-woman]

despite what popular opinion may lead you to believe, some rocks actually do have scientifically-proven auras! Unfortunately, those rocks are uranium and the aura is cancer. 

[wyrd-woman]

people will say "why cant the eldritch gods just be nice to humans :((" and then kill a bug for existing near them

[wyrd-woman]

[wyrd-woman]

[wyrd-woman]

[wyrd-woman]

my cat hates taking his pills. the only way we can get him to eat them is to turn it into an elaborate pantomime - we take the packet out of the cupboard slowly and hold it up, saying “oh!! what’s this? what’s this? a TREAT? a TREAT for louis????” while making surprised faces. we offer him a pill… then, before he has a chance to sniff it, we wag our fingers at him and replace it in the packet so it becomes a Tantalising Forbidden Mystery. we continue doing this until he’s so confused and excited that he will eat the pill as fast as possible, just so he can find out what it is before we can take it away from him again. as soon as he’s eaten it he looks utterly disappointed and betrayed, like a child who just ate a delicious sweet only to find it was a chocolate-coated brussels sprout. it never gets old

[wyrd-woman]

“Tiny round rain frog wakes up, yawns, rubs his eyes, then squeezes himself into his tiny hole”

(via)

[wyrd-woman]

suck, and i cannot stress this enough, my cock to the fucking base

[wyrd-woman]

M E R R Y  C H R I S T M A S 

[wyrd-woman]

sometimes i remember my first ever experience with a time loop story when i was like 8: Help! I'm Trapped in the First Day of Summer Camp by Todd Strasser.

The title says it all; kid goes to camp, makes friends with "cool kids" and gets peer pressured into being a shithead and a bully, wakes up the next day with things reset to arriving at camp.

But the thing is, this book is part of a series. Most of the books are this same kid getting caught up in body swap shenanigans, but he had gotten caught in a time loop once in a previous book. So he knew the score. He just needed to not be a jerk today. Cue him being overly nice to the point of blatant insincerity, making everyone wildly uncomfortable. No growth, just trying to appease the forces that be. Loop continues looping.

Yadda yadda, finally figures out how to be a genuinely nice kid who stands up to bullies and makes friends with the nerdy kid, etc etc, got everything perfectly right.

When that loop doesn't work he immediately throws himself off the bus to camp to kill himself. Loop again.

Finally, having resigned himself to never escaping the loop but at least he can dedicate it to being a good kid with nice friends, a thought occurs to him. There's one thing he hasn't done a single time in all the loops.

He brushes his teeth before bed. And wakes up the next day.

and frankly, i think more time loops should be hinged on morality-neutral mundane tasks. escape the time loop by taking your meds. free yourself by taking a shower. my man todd was a visionary

[wyrd-woman]

Reblog this if you had to learn cursive writing as a child

If you were ever told or were made to learn cursive writing when you were in grade school. I wanna see how many of you suffered like I did.

[wyrd-woman]

Santa is on strike due to global warming.  All presents this year will be delivered by Sasha the Christmas Tiger.  Milk and cookies may not be sufficient.