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[wronaguide]

5 Tarot Spread

in terms of happiness moving forward

Knight of Swords - The Question / specifies inquiry more

Remain open to conflicting ideas and not just surround myself with people who are agreeable to me. I make things happen and should wait for something to happen.

2. Five of Swords - The Context / what factors in he past played the most significant role in where I am now - Clarifier king of swords

This is a reminder to not swing when it comes to confrontation, as don’t always run into the fire or run away from it and try to ignore it all. Re-examine how I handle tension in my relationship and in my choices. Ask myself is this worth the fight and to really take the situation into consideration.

3.Four of Coins - You - highlights what personal qualities or actions are needed in the current situation

It means potential issues with jealously and possessiveness. Preserve and defend, but not to lay claim. A strong desire for security and stability. Take matters in your own hands and focus on building security during this time.

4.The Lovers - Your Community/ who in my community is needed or will play a part in my current situation

Staying true to your values when it comes to relationship.The lovers indicate that love could be coming your way soon. The Lovers card ask you to choose, love, to make heartfelt, loving, and compassionate choices. Being my best self. Any two or more parts. Creating a whole representing a sense of completion

5.Three of Coins - The Potential Outcome / announces the result or actions needed to answer question

This card stands for strong work ethic, devotion, and determination. In a reading the three of pentacles can mean I can expect good things to happen especially in my career and my financial status. This represents mastery of a trade or work; achieving perfection; artistic ability; and dignity through renown rank or power. It is to put forth your greatest craftsmanship!

Follow up: how soon can this all happen ?

Got two cards that fell out : Knight of coins and ace of coins

Knight of Coins: A year in the very least. (Advice: offer up my services to some project or enterprise in front of me).

Ace of Coins: Probably outcome : something beautiful is about to unfold, relations to a timing of change, which will result in a secure and firm foundation for future success. Need to be ready and have decimated action to carry forward. To start a new beginning and take action and build certainty. This event may occur within 1-11 days or during the waxing phase of the moon. - Venus in Taurus - Mercury in Virgo - Saturn in Capricorn

***all cards were upright

So overall I think this all means in summary:

Remain open to different ideas and perspectives on how to approach my life

Take things into consideration and see if things are worth the fight. How do I show up with confrontation in a balanced manner.

Take matters into my own hands and invest in creating security for myself!

Stand in love and make the choice to act from love. To stick to my values that originate in love.

Mastery of my skills and refining my own craftsmanship!

New beginnings on there way and offer up my gifts to a cause and/ or my work and give it my all!

[wronaguide]

The Foundation Tarot

Today I went for a quick little beer with a friend and she brought this tarot deck. Today my friend pulled for the past, present, future of my romantic relationships.

Past: five of cups - grieving and sad

Present: High Priestess - take a step back and reconnect with intuition

Future: 4 of wands - celebration, a large milestone

All of this was very reassuring and reaffirms the hope I have.

[wronaguide]

What do I have to offer in a romantic relationship? What do I want to receive?

I offer so much space for emotion and so much willingness to learn to the best partner I can be for someone. I love learning about any I love and I will always be loyal and loving to the best of my ability and just the fact that I’m willing to the work.

The things I want to receive from my partner is the same commitment as well as the willingness to work on things especially when there are times when it’s hard to love and things are difficult. I want someone funny and sweet and has a matched emotional intelligence and willingness to improve themselves. I like what I heard recently from a post min that we should find a partner who wants to be the best partner than can be for you and just not have you in their lives as a means to only benefit them or make them feel good/ safe. There is the desire from the other partner to play the role with enthusiasm.

Cheers.

10/08/2023

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What do I dislike that most people love? What do I love that most people dislike?

Today will be answering prompts 10/08/2023

I think something that most people love that I dislike are material things and anything that is heavily focused on money/wealth. Like fast cars or fashion brand clothing items, I think they are nice but not enchanted by them by any means.

I love the awkwardness of moments and when things are a little uncomfortable as I find there’s lots of humor and unnecessary tension and like to view it in that way. So of my friends have been adamant that they can’t stand certain situations even on tv but I find I laugh the hardest at those scenes.

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Self Trust - Why you and not me?

Tonight wanted to journal a bit on self trust ergo self confidence and the real implications of following through or breaking promises.

I consider myself to be a confident person, however as I pull at the layers of my ego and actions I see I am not completely. I think of the surface level confidence of I am who I am, don’t change the way I talk or make jokes, I share my thoughts very openly and usually am fine with outwardly disagreeing with a topic.

However, where self confidence, self trust, and self esteem really matter I self abandon often or reluctantly state my boundaries/needs.

Matters in which I tend to break promises for myself:

-When I say I will get up early in the morning and go to the gym but don’t, then I end up feeling crappy, guilty, and not in my routine. Ei. Cruddy as I have been feeling lately.

-When I am feeling upset with someone I usually just distance myself from that person and isolate myself and those feelings. Then I resolve it in my own minds eye and try to let it go. Sometimes I am successful but often have major resentment. Of which makes me angry at myself for not sharing how I was feeling in the moment.

-I say I want one thing but then I do the other. I say I want a committed relationship with someone emotionally intelligent and kind. Yet I let me my impulses hijack the situation and then I have a relationship that is moving forward only with chemistry verses the ability to discern actually compatibility.

-I don’t share how I feel, especially if it is about a past event.

-I have been better at treating my body better and listening with slightly less resistance. But I am still in the cycle of pushing my mind and body too far and getting sick or stressed and then having to take so long to recover or just get in this kind of stuck energy.

-I can easily feel defeated with my RSD I truly feel I have this and just even when I am in conflict/ disappoint myself I become so so upset. I have very high expectations for myself.

These are just a few ways I’ve noticed I abandon myself and hurt my own confidence and ability to follow through for myself. I think it will be a continued journey of just building up small promises first so that I don’t even need to put in mental energy, then some I have to use little energy, and then use most of my mental energy to be in the moment and deal with obstacles when they arise. I want to really start deeply loving myself and not only does that mean self compassion and radical acceptance but also love myself with ACTION. Love is an action, an embodiment, inspired action, and inspiration from love its self. I know I deserve to love on myself and then reciprocate that to the world and reflect in a loving life in a symbiotic relationship.

[wronaguide]

Been Awhile

IT’s been a minute since I’ve journal via typing on this account. I have been journaling a bit by hand writing but today I felt like typing things out.

I have been really emotional the past two weeks, I had just come from a friends wedding, got sick, got my IUD placed, and just am feeling all the heaviness of the world right now. I am out of my routine and have been struggling with getting up in the mornings. I feel a Lange of residual energy from previous years and years of depression. I hope it isn’t a depressive episode I’m tipping my toe into but if it is I need to get all my arms up and ready to do the work to keep it at bay/prevent it from spiraling.

10.18.2023

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Crazy where a year can go.

I am feeling so so grateful for where I am from a year ago. I was so broken this time last year and now I have an amazing partner, great friendships still, my baby cat and my family and friends are doing so well. I have really taken my health serious this year working out wise and look forward to continue to solidify my schedule and now start working towards eating healthier consistently.

Most impactful as well has been my mental health, I have never been happier in the last few years than I am now and I couldn’t be more grateful and just humbled to be blessed in so many ways :

I think its good for me to reference the differences/changes that lead to me being in such a healthier space and I think that is:

-being a much more healthy relationship in all aspects

-being physically active and moving my body more consistently

-trying new things like polar dipping and volunteering, podcast

-having more me time and just focus on my partner, close friends, and family

-being on the right medications and having my supplements as well

-having ambitions and creating more space to think

-when I face my anxieties it takes away the power, ei. Financial issues and responsibilities

-having goals and just trying to be more intentional with my time and energy

-trying to not overwhelm myself and find a balance from doing things that recharge me / benefit me and also straight up rest and sleep

[wronaguide]

2023 New Years Goals

Perspectives to keep in mind

I really want to have a happier and healthier year, and what that means to me is:

not tolerating poor behaviour in any of my relationships and stating boundaries clearly in attempt to repair

take time out for my physical health consistently and take my vitamins/supplements. I want to be better at cooking for myself and having a healthier diet.

more space and time with myself and not as many distractions. I want to spend intentional quality time with myself.

want to dive into my spirituality and wants and desires more this year and find a path that feels fulfilling to me.

I want to find love and work towards learning how to date better and really chose my partner carefully and enjoy someone else.

I want to continue to learn about the mind and body and also maybe try and focus on different topics every month and focus on that and then actually be able to gain more applied knowledge.

I want to like my job and feel more purpose and interest in my day to day and also work hard on my financial well-being.

I want to finish the projects I've already committed to and not take on anything more that I am not genuinely ready for/ 100% interested in.

I want to get better at reaching out to my friends and family for support and not feel so much guilt and discomfort.

Plus a bunch of micro things I think that will come up...

[wronaguide]

Body and Mind

Feeling a little blah and spaced out the past few days. I really am happy to be visiting my family at home and going to be seeing friends soon however for some reason I feel kind of empty emotionally. Which in the end makes me feel guilty for not thinking and behaving in a more grateful way.

Plus, going on a new birth control recently and find myself with little to no symptoms other than today a little spotting. And before starting the new birth control I was feeling so emotion watching a children's animation, and thinking to myself what the fuck is wrong with me? Just a bit of weird numb to anxious energy, but then moments of gratitude and playfulness.

I am feeling very lost in what I really want and what should I do with my time and my life to be happier and healthier. That is the golden question and also a thing that may evolve and I just want to be in better touch with my intuition and soul and fulfill those needs.

[wronaguide]

Activated 12/29/2022

I am feeling somewhat activated right now just been feeling I think envious of others. My best friend just was expressing herself and I find myself getting frustrated at her complaints even though I know she isn't taking it all for granted and just feeling jealous of the fact she has a partner, friends you are actively helping her out, and a family thats close by, and on top of that a really amazing Christmas it seems.

I think I also have resentment because I assume if the roles were revered she'd be crying to me, saying how she's so happy for me but why can't she have those things and not hold space for me or make a sad thing out of something that would be happy for me. However, I know that's just anger of not setting boundaries for how she complains sometimes and knowing that maybe she should express that elsewhere instead of towards me when I'm finally experiencing consistent joy/ good moments.

A part of wants to be petty or express myself in the same way I assumed she would, however an eye for an eye in this sense is not fair as I haven't communicated anything and don't want to act that way with my value and belief system.

[wronaguide]

Job Options 

The things I need in order to like my job and my ideal needs and wants:

-independence, flexible schedule and locations

-able to socialize and bounce ideas of others sometimes

-good solid wage and benefits

-room for growth and a way to learn more skills and “level up”

-use my creativity to solve problems whether that’s artsy or through communication strategies.

-something with frequent endings and have deadlines, don’t want a project waiting around for too long

-a job with the least amount of legal bullshit or something that can be passed forward to an accountant for example!

-work that is meaningful and has a positive impacts to things I care about like mental health, the environment, to animals, etc.

-I want a job where I am challenged and can continue learning and deep diving into different topics.

-I want a schedule that would work for me eventually having a family and allowing me to have work not be the main priority.

-I want something that will provide stability and longevity as I age and have a pension or a retirement plan.

-I want a job where I can work at a desk and also move my legs whether its required by the job or if its possible to do on my lunch breaks.

[wronaguide]

Counselling

What I covered and want to keep in mind in the coming weeks <3

fear based , anxiety based inner voice, this is triggered by feeling stuck or stagnant. Also, by wanting an escape plan and a way out planned ahead.

other inner voice is more like a coach we said. This voice encourages me to keep going but keeps pushing even when the "runner" is exhausted and actually hurting themselves more by continuing on without a break

I want to confront my discomfort and ask myself where it's coming from. I want to get curious and let myself face these emotions openly and just observe and not react emotionally internally with anger or judgement

My expectations of what rest looks like and how it will take time for energy to grow. I need to work with myself and the "resources" I have and not get lost try to make a lifestyle work that is not sustainable for me, or conductive on how I want to live.

I want to remind myself that having my current rest is helpful and I am gaining many things from it. For example, I am better able to regulate my emotions, sleep better, wake up slightly easier. There's less pent up stress in my body and my immune system isn't compromised by the stress all the time.

I want to continue to build self trust and self care. As in treating myself, my mind, and, my soul with love. Also, setting boundaries with others and my time and reduce the mental and emotional load. I want to over stop being so emotional when making decisions because I end up being drained. Automate my mind for a positive space and allow myself to use that brain power elsewhere.

Also, on my own I want to look forward to how I present myself to the world not in the sense that I have to prove my worth but more so how can I express myself. I used to love to do my make up, pick out nice outfits, and have more rituals with my face and hair care.

Asking myself what I did that brought joy before, the core value or

piece that filled my cup. Making art for myself or pampering myself or hanging out and just being as dumb as possible.

[wronaguide]

Ego vs Bigger Picture 

Ego: My roommate is insinuating blame at me because they had to clean, even though I feel I tend to the house more often.

Bigger Picture: My roommate is suggesting we communicate and have a more aligned view and standard for cleaning. The conversation would improve both of our lives and create more trust in our relationship.

Ego: I want live all by myself with Damon and want to be making way more money.

Bigger Picture: I have to look at the outer perspective in that I get to live with someone who is a good person. I also have someone who can bond and be social with Damon and lastly teaching me how to live and communicate with others.

I want to make more money and I will eventually. I have to appreciate what I do have and really use the value of my money wisely but also give myself permission to invest in myself and remain patient.

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Limiting Beliefs & Reframing 

LIMIT: My partner is going to leave me eventually.

REFRAME: My partner can leave or stay based on what they chose as I can do the same. The freedom to both choose each other is much more valuable and authentic than a clause to stay together forever despite potential problems.

Also, if my partner leaves me that doesn’t equate to my ability to love or be loved. It doesn’t me I failed and I didn’t do enough for the relationship. It is a lesson along my life’s journey and I can heal, move forward, and learn from every single situation.

Lastly, when my partner loves me I have to respect and try to not push away and self sabotage the relationship. I have to know that I deserve to be loved and have someone to stay with me through thick and thin. I can be loved unconditionally and have a respectful and healthy relationship if we both work towards that.

LIMIT: I am always struggling. I am always, alone, broke, lonely, fat, ugly, and unhappy with work and life.

REFRAME: You are not always struggling you have so many wonderful people, memories, experiences, and opportunities that have brought so much joy and happiness.

Alone vs So Connected: I am not alone it’s only when I’m listening to my own inner saboteur that I am believing that I am not connected with others. so many people can relate to my experience, so many people would listen to me talk about anything, and so so many people would stand by me and support me making a tough decision. I have to make a choice to move closer to others than skew my perspective to fit a narrative to isolate myself.

Broke vs Rich in Life: I am not broke, when I look at my true values I have the things I want in this life which is relationships, passions, and experiences. I have always put experiences above my bank account status and it has lead to so much joy. These are moments I look forward to and things have always worked out in reality again my bank account hasn’t increased however I have always had a place to stay and pay rent, food to eat, medications to take, and trips to go on with borrowed money. I have my pet, my place, my friends, my beautiful family, and a full time job. All is not lost on the grander scheme of things and through the lenses of what I want richness to mean in my life.

Fat and Ugly vs Beautiful: I am not fat and I am not ugly. I have value regardless of my weight or acne or physical attributes. I know I don’t value those things in my friends and know that others who love me and therefore deserve my attention with their opinions only should matter. I can be beautiful with all my flaws as I love other’s despite their “flaws” as well. I know I deserve to love myself and also respect and thank my body and mind as it provides for me every single day and has allowed me to live a fuller life. Also, for my face it is the face of my parents, my family, and my heritage all of which I am grateful for a love all those people. I deserve to cherish myself for myself because of my intrinsic value and also out of respect for others who love my so so dearly and think and admire my beauty.

Unhappy vs Joy & Meaning: I am at times seemingly unhappy or within a certain distorted perspective I am unhappy but if I take away the disillusion I have all the things that bring me joy, happiness, and meaning in my life. I have a beautiful family, my pet, my amazing friends who inspire me, wonderful coworkers who have become friends, and mentors I’ve had in my life. I am able to learn and play and joke around. I am able to freely express myself as I please and I am connected to a higher power and can fill up my own spirit with true awareness of all I have, created, and been given. I get peace in understanding myself and having a spiritual reflection allows space for me to find contentment in just existing and being able to experience this world as a multifaceted human being.

With love,

Wrona

[wronaguide]

Triggers

What are my triggers:

Yelling, aggressive gestures (eg. pointing, grabbing, getting into my face)

Cheating, lying, and any type of manipulation of the truth

Possession of me, my time, my energy, and what I want to do

Guilt tripping me to comply and taking advantage of my empathy

Shaming me, whether that’s through justified actions or insinuating that I am a slut, mean person, and/or vindictive.

Not feeling like I have a way out of a situation, mostly just my perception of the situation

Death, loss, major life stressors, and world tragedies

Comments about of body weight or physical attributes

When people become randomly distant and or shut down

People being a downer in a group and only focusing on their feelings and experience and not understanding how they are making others feel. However, I am working on reframing this as showing compassion and not taking other’s feelings personal and not taking responsibility to “fix” it.

Not taken seriously when sharing information and being told that that doesn’t sound real or etc. I don’t like my thoughts being dismissed or invalidated

Being made fun of or mocked in how or what I say, act physically.

Being made to feel like I have to beg for forgiveness like I’m the only one at fault in a situation

Assuming the worst or people putting words into my mouth. Someone who doesn’t listen and chooses to make me misunderstood and push a narrative that suites there argument

Having someone have to “one up me” when it comes to me sharing something personal and minimizing my experience

Someone is often judge mental and then is hypocritical towards others and yet justify the same actions in themselves. They don’t reflect back to me what they ask of me in a situation.

Sexual advances or taking initiative without blatant permission especially when under the influence or in a lower mood.

Disrespect around others towards me or undermining my opinions or thoughts in a conversation with others

Blaming other people behavior on me

Talking behind my back and creating a one sided negative narrative towards me

Not being able to talk about compromise about something that can be compromised on

Being treated poorly by customers or stranger and having unnecessary comments targeted at me

Trying to convince me of something that I just don’t agree with

Running away from conflict or are not putting any effort into mending the relationship after the conflict

Telling me how to process something or telling me how I should forgive someone

Making me the bad guy or someone who is deceitful

Continuously breaking promises and over stepping boundaries

[wronaguide]

September 22nd 2022

I am having overall a good day just got some travel shots and flowed through work and just been a sleepy bean.

I am trying to journal more on here and let myself have an outlet to explore my own thoughts.

Things I am releasing this fall equinox:

I am releasing the idea that the universe is against me, I know that the universe and God are with me. They are not the cause just the support I need to get through the trials and tribulations of life.

I am releasing that I am being pushed out of my city,I know right now is a hard time but that is no reason to give up or personify my circumstances and make things more personal then they are.

I am releasing that money is controlling me and that I am always poor and lacking. I am working on my relationship towards money and learning more about money; so I feel more comfortable and intuitive about spending. Also, despite my bank account being low and in the largest amount of debt I’ve ever been in I know this too shall pass and life goes on and I don’t need to punish myself daily pretending that will reverse my situation.

I am releasing external commentary towards my body. I choose to know and act for what is healthy for me regardless of what is being praised or shamed by others, even my own doctor. However, still being open minded to learning about physical, emotional, spiritual, and physical well being.

I am hopeful that this month of September can really be a time to close heart wounds and make amends within myself.

[wronaguide]

ideals 

Values for my future partner:

Family

passion

humor

responsibility

faithfulness

Values for my life and self:

Relationships / investing and having reciprocal relationships

Expression / whether that’s painting, acting, playing with the arts

Honesty / being true to those I cherish and honest with myself

Humor & Joy / I want to live life in a light manner and have fun

Learning and contributing / sharing knowledge and acting based on what I learn and seeing the gaps where I can help