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[wrjamison]

A conversation with a Councilman

I recently received a note from Wade Kach, the Councilman for Baltimore County Council District 3 (District 3 is a massive district comprised of the northern half of Baltimore County). The email was in regard to a recent action taken by the County Executive to “effectively” designate Baltimore County as a sanctuary county. Wade’s email requested that readers reach out to the County Executive to express discordance. I responded that I would reach out to the County Executive, but not to express dismay, but rather to express my support.  To his credit, Wade (someone on his staff), sent a response. To which, I again responded.

In the book I am reading, it states that it is the duty of the privileged, whether that be privileged from race, gender, money, to educate those who are like them. Here’s my first stab. See below for the entire exchange starting with Wade’s initial statement.

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It is unacceptable and offensive that the Baltimore County Executive has bypassed the Baltimore County Council and issued an executive order which effectively declares Baltimore County to be a sanctuary county. And to do so, so soon after the brutal rapes of two Maryland teenage girls, at the hands of illegal immigrants demonstrates a lack of concern for their suffering, while disregarding  the increased risks of similar actions taking place here in our County.

I have been outspoken on this issue before. In no uncertain terms, Baltimore County should not be a safe haven for those that would come to this country illegally, especially for those who have committed additional crimes.

As the councilman of a district that represents some of the most significant and beautiful spans agriculturally productive land in Maryland, I understand the importance of legal immigration, and I recognize the need for meaningful reforms to that system, but this order is not the way. Beyond being unfair to those that have taken the long and arduous path of becoming a legal US citizen, it threatens to make Baltimore County less safe as it becomes more attractive to for those that do not have legal status in America. As Baltimore County residents, tax payers, and voters, we all deserve far better than what this Executive Order threatens to do.

The Executive Order does essentially three things:

1.       It prevents the detention of a convicted criminal who is also a suspected illegal immigrant beyond a court ordered release date, even if the federal government requests that they be detained while their immigration status is investigated.

2.       It prevents Baltimore County Police from inquiring as to the immigration status of those they have already legally detained on suspicion of a crime, unless they have a court order.

3.       It provides at the great expense of taxpayers all County services and benefits to any illegal immigrant who requests it.

To his credit, the County Executive has expressed his deep concern for the protection of children and families. Regrettably, in no way does his executive order achieve any additional security. It brings with it greater risk instead.

Under this unilateral directive, someone can enter this country illegally, move to Baltimore Country, commit a crime, serve time in prison, and then be released into the Baltimore County population as a free individual. This is absurd.  Statistics show that criminal recidivism rates are on the rise.  Because Baltimore County is now a sanctuary jurisdiction, the fear of deportation will no longer act as an additional deterrent for this population.

Furthermore, the fact that the executive order prevents Baltimore County Police from inquiring the status of individuals suspected by the federal government to be here illegally does nothing to protect children and families. One need only to look at the brutal crimes that have taken place in Montgomery County involving known illegal immigrants (by the federal government) to see how short sighted a policy this is.

Not only does this order sew confusion at the federal level, but it also affects Baltimore County’s ability to cooperate with State Police. Governor Hogan has made it clear that he will veto any legislation that makes Maryland a sanctuary state, a position I support. If Maryland State Police forces are are seeking to apprehend a reported illegal immigrant within Baltimore County, it is ambiguous at the very least, the role that Baltimore County can play in order to secure Baltimore County residents. However well intentioned, it is clear to me that this executive order will make us all less safe.

In the Montgomery County High School case, the federal government knew that the suspects were in the United States illegally, and informed Montgomery County of this. In turn, because the County is a Sanctuary jurisdiction, they did nothing.  These two undocumented immigrants have been charged with a brutal sexual assault on a fourteen year old child.

A second tragic rape and kidnapping, of a twelve-year-old girl, took place just a week later in Montgomery County under similar circumstances. This risk of these scenarios becomes more possible in Baltimore County because of this order.

Lastly, the executive order allows for illegal immigrants to have the right to County services and benefits at the expense of law abiding taxpayers. This has the effect of incentivizing the migration of illegal immigrants to Baltimore County. In these times of very tight budgets and high taxes, Baltimore County simply cannot afford to have this happen.  Advocates for undocumented immigrants state that many of these individuals pay taxes.  However, study after study show that the taxes paid are far less than what governments spends on providing services to illegal immigrants.

Simply put, this order cannot stand. Going forward, I am actively looking into the possibility of legislation that will reverse the effect of this order. In the meantime, I encourage you to

contact the County Executive

to express your concerns about this issue.

~Wade

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Wade,

I completely disagree.  I will contact the County Executive, but I will do so to extend my support for their courage to stand up to injustice.

Sincerely,

Wes

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Wes,

Thank you for letting me know of your deep concern regarding my statement on County Executive Kamenetz's order related to immigration. It is always helpful for me to hear feedback, even on matters in which there is disagreement.

We may not always agree on every issue, but I hope that you know me enough to know that the positions I take are motivated solely by what I think is right. And I have not been afraid to take positions that have alienated me from my own party and my own colleagues on the Council. I have been told by a colleague of mine on another contentious issue that I am an absolutist concerning issues of right and wrong. While it was meant to be pejorative, I could not agree more.

I have been the deciding vote on some of the most crucial advances in human rights in the state of Maryland. My motivation throughout all of this is a deep sense of what is right and wrong, rather than what is popular or what will get me more votes.

My position on the executive order is simply motivated by my concern for the security of the citizens of Baltimore County. The primary purpose of government is to keep people safe. What most concerns me about the executive order is that it allows convicted criminals who are here illegally to in effect remain here once they are released from prison. In saying this, I do not mean that all undocumented individuals are criminals. I never have held this view, and I do not agree with people who do. My sole motivation is ensuring public safety.

As a public official, I believe it is my responsibility to speak up when I believe a proposed policy is wrong. With all honesty, I believe that the County Executive’s order does not consider the unintended consequences.

Thank you for letting me know of your concerns. We may still disagree, but I hope you can understand what my motives are with this, and on what basis I make the decisions that I do.

Take care,

Wade

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Wade,

Thank you for a thoughtful response.  While I disagree, I do appreciate it.

In response, I would say that Study after Study shows that the perception that immigrants cause disproportionate levels of crime are FALSE, driven by the media, and perpetuated by political rhetoric and policy.

If you prefer not to dig in to the studies, here's the gist: "immigrants have much lower institutionalization (incarceration) rates than the native born - on the order of one-fifth the rate of natives", and "newly arrived immigrants in the 1980s and 1990s seem to be particularly unlikely to be involved in criminal activity, consistent with increasingly positive selection along this dimension."

Now back to the political rhetoric - I saw no sign in the second incident you reported "under similar circumstances" was committed by illegal immigrants. If that is the case, I can only say that you would be guilty of fear-mongering. In fact, regardless of whether they were illegal or not, sending out a mass email to thousands of people listing two instances of girls raped by Latino men is still fear-mongering, and promotes the fear and racism which threatens those of all colors across the country. Further to your point of being an absolutist concerned for safety, I would think you could generate the most safety for the most people by not eliciting unnecessary fear towards immigrants from the predominantly white district who elected you.

I believe you create safety through kindness and inclusiveness, not exclusion and fear. But that's just me.

Thanks again for the response,

Wes

[wrjamison]

Coffee, Truth Bombs, Racism, and Tough Pills to Swallow

It’s been a long time since I’ve logged back in, for which there are many reasons, but the main reason I think, other than general slothfulness, is that much of my general goings-on currently lack some of the depth and inner purpose which was unavoidable in South Africa. We can come back to that later, but I had an experience a couple weekends ago, which was unexpected, and the effect was profound. In fact, I have been able to think of little else since. 

I am hoping to trampoline that feeling of conviction toward resurgent blog use - to continue the journey started in South Africa, and to re-purpose it with fresh eyes on a second act in Baltimore. I recognize that in South Africa, I was inundated with experiences steeped in truth and authenticity. Experiences that rang true. Through this blog, and continuing self-reflection, I hope to manifest space for the pursuit of authenticity and truth. That reembarked journey, as it must, starts with a conversation.

The experience has weighed on me heavily. Through writing, hopefully I can clarify for myself some of the meaning. Ultimately though, as always, the goal is to learn, to progress, to continue the conversation, to grow.

Before diving in, I simply want to say that in writing this entry, the goal is not to win an argument, to prove I am right. As I said, it is to grow, to progress (which, if you ask me is the meaning of this tiny life we live) and to continue a conversation, to ask questions – and hopefully to create space in which to answer them. Or at least a space in which to continue digging. And to do so together.

And lastly to say ‘thank you’ to the bold, assured person who came over to me and two people I was having a discussion with, and dropping a serious knowledge bomb on our conversation. The conversation turned racially charged. Put me, at least, on the edge of conversational and emotional comfort. In a good way, perhaps. In the same way exercise seeks a physical limit, this conversation pushed me to an introspective, racially conscientious boundary. Further to the metaphor of exercise, the point is to push a muscle to the point of hypertrophy, to its edge, the point where it rips. When it grows back, it’s stronger, more capable, more powerful. I’m hoping that my societal conceptions will do the same here. 

The knowledge bomb was dropped as such: I was at a table at a coffee shop in Baltimore. I was drinking coffee as it should be drank: black. A conversation was ongoing at the table next to me, which I admit, I had been conspicuously dropping eaves on from time to time. At some point, their conversation osmosed into my consciousness, and I joined in – I believe with them asking innocently “Oh what’s the name of that restaurant on….?”, Me: “Oh that one, well I actually prefer the restaurant across the street.” (Yea, one-upsmanship right off the bat, with a splash of ‘I’m local.’) I can’t remember how exactly it came up, but the gentleman with whom I was now conversing mentioned that he lived across the street, and I asked if the neighborhood had changed over his time there. He said it had. He mentioned that he has seen an article which had ranked “up and coming” neighborhoods in Baltimore and that the neighborhood in which we currently sat, Reservoir Hill, didn’t make the list. We discussed further for a minute or so. Restaurants. Gentrification. Then after a minute or two, a young lady came over and said that she had heard some of our conversation, and that she was writing a blog about gentrification (see below for link). She stated that she loved the community there. She was cordial but somewhat disappointed and abrasive. The man asked her if he had something to offend. The community is beautiful the way it is, she said. She wouldn’t change anything about it. That white people should come, visit, lend resources, but they shouldn’t move in. And finally that the notion of “up and coming” neighborhoods is racist.

Boom.

Indian food to racism. Real quick.

My initial reaction, because that’s who I am - an advocate frequently in employ of the devil - is to disagree. More thought though, and putting some words on e-paper, has chiseled away at the foundation of my disagreement. Exposed its porousness. To residents of those communities which have existed in those ‘up and coming neighborhoods’, how should they feel when they hear that now, all of a sudden, their neighborhood is up and coming? And what do we mean by up and coming? More places to get gluten free muffins and farm to table yoga? Regardless of what was meant, the reality of that up-and-comingness is this: there are more white people there than before, and this is somehow inherently ‘better’. Furthermore, it’s likely that only once a majority of those people from that original community have been removed will the neighborhood ever graduate from ‘up and coming’ to ‘here’.

All that in three words..

What I realized was that by way of calling the point of view which we casually conversed ‘racist’, she was really calling me racist. And that’s a tough pill to swallow.

A tougher pill to swallow is that she might be right.

Lets rotate the mirror, and let the devil turn its gaze on my own perceptions. It’s uncomfortable, but growth, mental progress occur at the brink of those discomfiting conversations, and are empowered through reflection.

She wasn’t calling me a Nazi. She wasn’t saying that I hate black people. That actually might have been easier, more easily dismissed as outlandish. She was saying that the privileged, white lens through which I see things contains micro-racisms, micro-aggressions which are founded in the imperialist, racist conceptualizations which continue perpetuate mechanisms which debase people of color.

I don’t feel the need to have a discussion about whether or not I am racist, but are some of the mental frameworks I utilize, is part of the lens through which I see society, are those built on and do they reinforce the fabric of oppression? I really want to be able to say ‘no’, emphatically no. I traveled to South Africa to volunteer for an organization of which, 100% of the participants are black. I’m Quaker, dammit, we don’t do racism. But the more I think about it, the more I see her point of view – that racism comes in as many varieties as people, and every little action plays its part in maintaining a world which continues to unfairly reward some people for their lack of color, and undercut other people because of their skin. Myself included.

That notion isn't’ easy to grip. It’s not easy to write. It won’t be easy to publish (if I decide to publish). I feel though that the only route to societal change is through tweaks to people’s perspectives, which will come through conversation. Conversation that teeters on the edge. Thus, I consider it a duty to continue this conversation.

Now, because again, I do occasionally find allegiances with the devil, I have a few questions.

And I guess I have to admit, I’m white. (That was for me, not you).

Because of my skin, can I not participate in a neighborhood that has as many boarded up houses as not? Is the notion that I can’t or shouldn’t racist? Does it matter if it is? (‘White male has feelings hurt’ doesn’t really stop the presses). One main point of the conversation was that she wouldn’t change the community, that it’s beautiful as is, and that white people should not bring their gentrifying ways into the community. As I haven’t lived there, I can’t pretend to know the community, and I understand that there are communities within it that depend on the boarded up houses, but can’t we all agree that it would be better if they didn’t have to?

Second, what responsibility do you take for changing the neighborhood? After all, you sell Kombucha and banana bread - and I’m pretty sure those two actually ferment white people.

Lastly, why is this neighborhood more yours than mine? Is it just skin? My thought is that it is about identity. I grew up five miles from here. Can I not identify? Is there really no way that I could work here, participate, and be a piece of the puzzle that manifests a more equitable neighborhood? I really do believe I could be a force for equality and advancement of community. Or is that not possible? I’m willing to listen, but if the answer is yes, that’s going to be another tough pill.

But what’s one more pill added to the cocktail of crow I’ve eaten in this article.

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Here is the article that our coffee shop assailant wrote at BrioxyLife: https://medium.com/@brioxylife/just-stop-already-white-people-920a21c9443b

Please, please read it. It’s discomforting, disappointed and bold, and the work they are doing at Brioxy is awesome.

If you have questions/thoughts/suggestions/disagreements, post them or email them to me.

[wrjamison]

RV Fitness

This post has been a long time coming.  In fact, I wrote most of it months ago and never got around to wrapping up and posting.  So here it is, in all its lateness.

I’ve mentioned it in previous blog entries, but RV fitness has really taken off.  First though, because I know it's a little complicated, let me just briefly explain what RV is, who the team consists of, and their relationship to GRS.

First – Grassroot Soccer uses soccer as language slash metaphor to enable local mentors to facilitate difficult conversations with youth about health, HIV and the cultural barriers that surround it. Those local mentors, in an extension of the soccer metaphor, are called “Coaches.” For the most part, those interventions take place at schools – some during school hours during Life Orientation class, others after school – and for the most part, the activities do not involve actually playing games of soccer. More so, Coaches play little activities that are specifically designed to steer a conversation towards a specific behavior or situation that is then transferable from the game to more difficult aspects of life. A few years ago, some of the female graduates of our programs approached some staff and said that they wanted the chance to actually play soccer. There were no female teams in Khayelitsha at the time, and no opportunity for them to play organized soccer. Even at the field at Grassroot Soccer, girls were mostly relegated to spectating. Thus, RV United was formed. It wasn’t formed with a whole lot of thought about where it would go or exactly who would be on it. No grandiose visions or prospects towards posterity. It was merely granting the wish of some girls, ages 18 - 28ish, to play soccer. At this point, more than half of the players on that team are current or former GRS Coaches. Those Coaches work(ed) for GRS and implement the all-girls, soccer-based program called SKILLZ Banyana. The rest of the players are local players who have been recruited on to the team. They have gone from a group of graduates who just wanted the chance to be part of a team, to one of the top teams in their league. They won the Coca Cola cup last year, and came in 4th in their league despite the fact that they missed the first game of the season because they weren’t registered properly. They didn’t have any preseason. Currently, they also have RV Juniors which is a group of 30 or so younger girls who will hopefully feed into RV Seniors in the future. As you can imagine, this far exceeded any expectations. As you can also imagine, the benefits of having the opportunity to be on a team, and play sports as a girl can have massive benefits for the esteem and mental health of the girls. That has been shown in study after study – that being part of a team is good for its participants. And the benefits here ripple further than just the players on RV. It affects the girls who get to watch them play, and the young men you are forced to sit and wait while RV plays and practices. Five years ago at our site, you would never see girls playing on the field.  Now, boys come out to watch girls play. Think about it, if you were a boy who grew up thinking that girls are not fit to play soccer, and now you have to sit and wait for them to finish practicing for you to play, what would that teach you?

Okay, well that wasn’t necessarily brief, but I hope it paints a clearer picture of what RV United is, why it exists, and who the badass girls on the team are.

Luba & Unati

This season, as mentioned previously, I wanted to help give them a real preseason with real fitness components. I want to introduce them to the different elements of exercise and training such that when I leave, they are equipped to continue training themselves. Some of the girls on this team are absolutely talented enough to earn scholarships to play at university, or even play professionally. Without a doubt.  However, they stand almost 0 chance of getting recognized.  Plus, I’m not sure how many local schools would even offer a scholarship to a female soccer player. And I would doubt that playing for an American school has even crossed many of their minds. While that is an aim of mine and my colleagues, it’s definitely one that will likely require more time and work than anyone has to give in the near future. For many of the RV Seniors it’s likely too late anyway. Many of them are 25 or older, haven’t had quite enough coaching, and many of them probably don’t have the grades to make that move. For some of the RV Juniors though, it could be possible.

Anyway, that’s the structure of the team, and some of the lofty goals we have for the program.  Currently though, we just want to see what a legitimate preseason does for them, how they react, and what difference it makes.

Crossfit in Milnerton (Thanks to Lara and Franco!)

Some other thoughts around big challenges and other areas we’d like to focus on:

Diet and Commitment (and safety)

Bridging the gap from knowledge to behavior. Knowing it's important to protect yourself by wearing a condom, is quite different from making the choice to actually wear one. Knowing that to make it to the next level of soccer, and to best help your team that you should be exercising frequently is quite different from waking up in the morning and going for a run.  And they don’t. Furthermore, and this is another thing that I want to discuss: is it even safe for them to go for a run?

Do no harm.  When we first rolled this out, we were overeager and didn’t think it through quite enough, and we definitely hurt some feelings. We handed out spreadsheets that had their test results such as BMI,  speed, and strength on cool graphs.  Unfortunately, BMI is a terrible measure, and that specific chart listed girls’ status against the generally accepted range for health, overweight, and obese.  Some of the girls – who are absolutely not obese – were graded as such against this scale. Fortunately these girls have thick skin, and no irreprable damage was done, but we definitely offended a couple of them.  “So, you think I’m fat” was something that one of the girls said.  So now that’s on the mind, and I think its important to think about in all aspects.

One might not initially think that you could offend or do harm by informing someone about a healthy diet, but if we go in there and recommend that they eat organic fruits and vegetables and lean meats, and they can’t afford those things (or likely haven’t even heard of them), they are likely to reject the entire plan on principle. That or if they do accept it, they might waste too much money on eating healthy and not be able to afford more essential things.  Unlikely as that is – “African Salad” as it is called, consists of corn meal and milk.  Still though, it would be irresponsible to hand out a diet plan that consists of organic vegetables that they cannot afford or will not eat.  And in an area where the girls don’t’ feel comfortable walking alone to and from the bus stop in broad daylight, who would we be if we asked them to go for runs?

Thus far this season though, we’ve been successful in running a mini combine to test their pre-preseason health, have run strength training sessions (run by yours truly), have brought in a professional Crossfit trainer, taken them on a hike, and have a weekly aerobics session.  If you know me, you know this is right in my wheelhouse.  It’s absolutely my favorite thing that I’ve been involved with.  And it’s awesome.

Crossfit Session in Khaye

In the end, we would like to create a narrative with statistics and test results to generate new sources of revenue for the team and for a fitness based program.  And when I say we, I think I mean myself and a couple others, but it might just be me.  Either way, these girls are so worth it. They were given a shit deck of cards, but they meet life with such exuberance and enthusiasm.  They are so passionate about their work as Coaches and bettering the lives of youth in their community – something that would probably be the last thing on my mind if I lived in a slum in the township.

George and Athi getting their flex on 

Drill Sergeant at work

More to come...

[wrjamison]

A month or so ago, a few of our female Coaches participated in a digital storytelling workshop.  They range from the love of soccer, to surviving gender based violence, surviving their neighborhood, a message to a child, to changing the world they live in.  They are beautiful, sad, and brutally powerful.  

I’m so proud of the girls for being brave enough to tell their stories.  

Start here with Athi’s and then make your way through.

Here’s the playlist of all of them if you want.  But I believe I posted all of them below.

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL2zMrq22-Y2uHJvLA0ZrX853uz3PY5pG-

[wrjamison]

The Ole Man came down for a trip at the end of March.  Yes, that young gentleman in the picture is my father, not my younger brother.  The trip was short but oh-so-sweet.  We saw lions mating, had sundown drinks rudely interrupted by lions hooting and hollering, stalked a leopard, got completely swindled by a grifter in the Jozi airport, got concerningly close to elephants, drank mediocre beer, played pictionary/charades on Easter and had an absolutely badass time.

Father-Son time should always be spent in the presence of lions with Whiskey in hand.

Love you, Dado - let’s do it again soon.

[wrjamison]

Shots from Thorny Bush

[wrjamison]

I had the honor of being invited to Vuyo’s wedding last weekend.  As with almost every social event here, there was singing, dancing and house.  The wedding was beautiful, and it was awesome just to see how happy you are, Vuyo.  Don’t stop smiling my brother - the shadow your love and passion is infectious, and it inspires everyone around you be more committed, to smile more, and it puts everything else in perspective.  Don’t ever change.

[wrjamison]

A Story

I want to tell you about my Uber ride the other day. First I'll recount the tale, then I'll overanalyze it and make anecdotal, broad sweeping cultural conclusions based off very limited information. Sound good? Great.

It's morning, 8am, and I'm heading to a training on Gender Based Violence - happy to chat about the training if you like, but I'll probably spare the general populous the details.

As soon as I get in the car, I am greeted with a beaming smile that washes away any irritation at the fact that he somehow went from being 1 minute away, to 3 minutes, to 5, and took about 10 minutes longer than one would have thought imaginable to find my apartmentt. (I end up 5 minutes late but am still one of the first people to arrive at the training – see here for my previous ruminations on Africans and time).

"You are from here?" He says in the form and fashion that Africans often phrase questions in the shape of commands.

"No, I'm from the States, but I live here." 

Upon hearing this he turns all the way around in his seat, making sure to lock in with eye contact that screams with admonition and confusion.

"Do you like it here?"

"Yea man, I love Cape Town."

 Deeper confusion.

"Oh really? Why are you here? America is great. I want to go there."

"I work here, yea, America is great, but every country has its issues.  Where do you want to go?"

"Anywhere in America. America is great. I don't know about Africa, but America is great."      

A brief lull in the conversation during which he lets me plug in my music.

We merge onto the highway and I briefly mull over America's greatness, and Africa's supposed dearth of value.

"Can I ask you a question?" He asks gently.

Oh no.  

I hear the first rumblings of an avalanche coming.  I brace myself for what I know will be a deeply personal, boundary-defying question. 

"Is wrestling real?"

Oh fuck.

Right to the core.  

Mom. Help.

A dozen possible avoidance methodologies scamper across my mind. (Come on Wes, we’ve avoided tough conversations your whole life, “Do you have time to talk later?”, “We need to talk”, “What’s wrong, wanna talk?”, “....Talk?....”). Maybe an abrupt change of subject, ‘Hey, sooo t-shirt cannons, am I right?’ or maybe simply opening the door and throwing myself onto the side of the highway would be a more elegant solution. Maybe a lie? ‘Of course it’s real! You think that spandex is just going to paint itself on?’. No no, too much, ‘Yea, of course it’s real…because…America. Have you heard of freedom, good sir?’ 

Meh.

I realized that his deeply inculcated, robust belief in the beauty of America was strongly woven into the fabric of this question. Is wrestling real and is America great are really the same question, no? (Cue over analysis).

At what age is it appropriate to squash a man's faith?  At what age am I obligated to tell the truth?  At what point in our 13 minute, 55 Rand relationship am I obligated to bodyslam my friend into truthville and unshackle him from the weight of unbridled belief?

Not yet, I think. Not yet. Let's at least exit the highway before we really let our hair down.

"Do you want it to be real?"

Phewf. Nailed it. I should be a politician. Clap please.

I started writing this to retell a funny story, but now, as seems to often be the case, I want to dig further. 

It gives me fear to hear the notion that anywhere in America is better than here. I'm worried that this belief has the power to do great harm. Of course it depends on the situation, but I find myself wondering if that dream is real anymore.

My driver, Takudzwa, wanted to go to the inflammatory, money on the trees, flatulent, pornographic idea of America. Not the greed filled, poverty stricken, Trump nominating, self destructive, status quo bound reality of America (okay, I've always described myself as a realist with a splash of pessimism). I love America as much as the next guy, but the grass isn't quite that green. Thus, the fact that his most intimate, critical concern about America is based on steroid infused men thrusting each other across a stage in skin tight clothing and bashing each other in the face with home goods makes for a hilarious, tragic, and almost impossibly apropos metaphor.

It would be a crime not to overanalyze and anecdotalyze this situation, right?!?!?!

But seriously, are the belief that wrestling is real and that the mere act of relocating to America will make your life great really that different? As though the greatness of America will wash over you as soon as you pass through customs. Like the greatness is in the soil, and merely walking upon it will reap success. The duplicitous reality is that yes, it's possible that living in America can offer opportunities for success that don't exist in some corners of the world, but the more realistic reality (and maybe a splash of pessimism) is that America is, more often than not, very ugly to outsiders. It is divided and divisive, harsh and complicated.  

Ostensibly, the fame, fortune, and female magnetism in wrestling looks eerily similar to the freedom, success, and opportunity of America. Without digging too deep into wrestling, which I've never watched and know close to nothing about (It's my blog! I get to make as broad sweeping anecdotal conclusions, as I want), the millionaires with financial security are really few and far between in the WWE. What I speculate is that many of them make a relatively low salary, are chronically injured, work and travel long hours, pay exorbitant taxes, and their careers are shrouded with overwhelming doubt about whether or not they will even have a job the following year (no, I'm not going to do the research to back that statement up).  

Of course, if I stop being so overly analytical and ephemeral and just look at the facts, the reality is: Wresting is fake.  And America is real.

Right?

But wrestlers really do throw each other across the ring.  They really are strong as hell. The Rock really is the freakin man. They really do work hard. The ones that work the hardest and are the most entertaining really do 'make it'.  And the fact is, many of them probably would never stand a chance at making it in such grandiose fashion outside of America.

So I guess it depends on how much you want to dig, and how much faith you have in America.

The question is: Do you want it to be real?

[wrjamison]

Driving the girls home after RV practice is really one of my favorite parts about being here.  So I usually try to get a selfie for documentation purposes.

It’s equal parts clown car, hollering at girls out of the windows (which only occasionally roll back up afterwards), and absorbing lessons about life in Khayelitsha and a couple of the surrounding townships.

[wrjamison]

State of Affairs: GRS SA

Now that all that light hearted family fluff is over with, we can get down to business.  While I cherished my time with my family, I've found it a little less rewarding writing about those experiences than about some of the grittier topics we’ve covered previously. I am sure it will be fun to look back on our trip together, but I’ve found less room for the depth of cultural experience and analysis while on a safari than while inserted into Khayelitsha and the lives of it’s inhabitants. And certainly less room for valuable criticism whilst having every need catered to in a luxury chalet than the very real struggles that Grassroot Soccer is currently experiencing.  And that's what I want to talk to you about today.

First I want recognize that I have been offered a very unique perspective and line of site into the business of Grassroot Soccer. On the one hand, I am a lowly intern without knowledge or experience of nonprofits, South Africa, or adolescent health with which to offer valuable contributions at the highest levels.  On the other, and I will go into this more later, GRS is so utterly understaffed and in some regards malfunctioning that I have been not only privy to, but participated in discussions and decisions that determine the future of the organization.  Those facts combined with the fact that I am unpaid so while I am personally very dedicated to the organization and its constituents,  at the same time, I don't really have any skin in the game.  I love many of the people I work with (although it seems like there are fewer and fewer), and absolutely adore the Coaches I work with, the fact remains that in the absolute worst case scenario if the organization completely folded, I would probably shed a tear, pack up and go on my way.  In those regards, I am really able to straddle the line (I’m basically a mole, aren’t I?).  And the fact that there is no money involved, I think, makes it much easier to be critical of the organization, and shift the analysis inwards onto my own allegiance and lens without having my perspective clouded by a salary.

So, all that being said, let me paint some context for you.  And just to be clear, I certainly don't have all of the information.  But then again, it seems like nobody does.

I'm not an expert, I just play one on the blogosphere.

The issue at hand, not surprisingly, involves money.  It is a complex issue with a number of layers and players.  I'll try to keep it as simple as possible (but knowing myself, I will almost certainly fail).  Grassroot Soccer recently – early October or so – won a grant that it had been working on and negotiating for years.  When GRS first proposed the grant, we said we would need 40 million rand to do the work.  Over the course of those years, the scope of work in the grant changed as national attention and focus areas within the battle against HIV have shifted.  In its final draft offered to GRS, half of the work was prevention with young girls - right in our wheelhouse - but half of it was to work with out of school, adult men - well outside our mission. Furthermore, they offered us only 10 million rand to do the work.

Another issue, as I understand it, is that the work with the adult men does not incorporate soccer.  This lumps in with the ‘off mission’ issue.  We are a ‘Sport For Development’ organization.  And this portion has no sport.  In my personal opinion, the name “Grassroot Soccer” is incredibly limiting.  I understand it from an initial creation standpoint – a couple of guys chatting about how their friends are dying from HIV, and something needs to be done., But now, firstly, there’s the fact that Grassroot isn’t even a word, but more than that, labeling ourselves as a Soccer organization, traps us and gives many people an initial perspective that we teach and coach soccer.  Which really isn’t the case. Many funders will not fund sports projects so they are immediately under a false first impression, and one that leaves then feeling negatively towards the organizations.  Soccer also  has it’s own limitations in the fact that half the world calls it football. So all that is to say, we use sport as a tool to start tough conversations about health issues.  This portion of the contract was more about testing, and didn’t involve sport.

With me so far?  GRS has been offered 1/4 of the money needed to do a job.  Half of which is work within our mission, half is not.  That grant is called Communities Response, or CCI.

Now, along with that grant is another grant through DREAMS, which is a foundation set up in conjunction with USAID with the specific function of decreasing HIV in young women and girls - again, right in our wheelhouse.  They have an award which they verbally said that they would like to offer to GRS to contribute 10 million rand to do the same work with girls (meaning two funders combined for the same job), thus helping to fund the 'good', on mission, portion of the CCI grant.  It doesn't get us all the way to the 40 needed, but it helps.  Unfortunately though, it's not in writing.

Similarly, another organization, has committed to match the funding from DREAMS.  They love the work GRS does, but their mandate only allows them to provide matching funds to another organization.  Thus, if we get DREAMS for 10 million, we get an additional 10 million on top of that.  But we need one to get the other. And again, this commitment isn’t solidified in writing.

So at this point, if all goes right, we are at 30 million to fulfill on the initial grant.  While it's not everything necessary, it is a multi year gig, and we assume that it wouldn't be a huge issue to garner that extra 10 million over the next three years to cover that gap.

So really we have two issues: 1) half of the proposed work is off mission 2) 2/3 of the money (which isn’t even all of the money necessary) isn’t in writing.

It should be mentioned that while technically our mission does not include working with adult men, that doesn't mean it isn't worthwhile work.  It just isn't within our proposed scope.  We're not experts in that area.  BUT, stopping the spread of HIV is the ultimate goal, right?  And that's a large part of the debate.  Do you take money that allows you to do really great work that is within the mission but also drives you into areas that are off mission?  It's easy to say 'no', stick to the mission, but the reality is that there's no perfect money.  Every grant comes with stipulations that make it hard to fulfill, and nudges you slightly off target.  So there in lies problem number one.

Problem number two exposes a separate but related internal issue at GRS.  Technically, Grassroot Soccer South Africa is its own entity. GRS SA can make its own decisions.  It has it's own senior management, it has it's own board, and technically it could branch off from GRS Global and go forward in any route it wants.  Technically.  However, GRS Global exists essentially as a fundraising arm of GRS.  They raise massive amounts of money, and every year they cut a check to GRS SA which allows SA to stay operational.  GRS SA has great funders, but the grants from those funders leave significant operational gaps.  Funders don't want to pay for gas for the intern car, air conditioning for the office, fixes to the Internet, paper for printing, salary gaps for the finance team, and other things that you can imagine aren't 'sexy' items that an individual donor or funder might want to fund. Even individual donors who write checks to the organization want to fund something tangible like shoes for our participants. Thus, the money that Global gives us, "Unrestricted Funding", really is the glue that holds everything together.  Thus, GRS SA is beholden to them.  And aside the financial reasons, we are all fighting for the same team, so we want to maintain a good relationship.

All that is to say that Global, and specifically the new Africa CEO (who is one of the initial founders, but has almost no requisite experience that would qualify him for that position except for the mere fact that he’s been there since day one) said ‘no’ to taking this opportunity.  His main reason, as I understand it, is that it is too great of a risk.  He wants to see all three awards offered in writing before he signs on for the first grant – it is too risky to sign on to a contract to do 40 million rand worth of work with only 10 million guaranteed.  That combined with the fact that it is off mission.  Reasonable enough.

Regardless of whether I agree with that decision, it follows enough logic that I understand it, and don’t think it’s an outrageous conclusion.  Whether or not he’s even qualified to make that decision….is a struggle that GRS is going to have to cope with.  This sort of situation where the founders of the organization – in GRS’s case, there are four – start an organization based on passion and recognition of an issue, and then are still in charge of the organization a decade later but lack the technical capacity and skills to lead the organization is not unique.  It’s a well documented phenomenon that is both awkward and debilitating. How do you tell the top level management that they are no longer necessary, that the organization, which they founded and have helped grow, not only doesn’t need them anymore, but that their involvement is actually hurting the organization?  

I don’t know the right answer, but I’m pretty sure that message won’t be carried up the ranks by an intern. Thus, I cleanse my hands of any responsibility (attached, but no skin in the game, remember?)

Aside from that decision and its quality, the decision is made, and it has left the organization in an unenviable situation.  Senior Management had essentially assumed that we would take those three awards, and would have thus been in a very good standing financially for 2016.  Staff salary coverage was good – probably better than it had ever been before.  But now, after removing that funding from the pipeline, coverage dropped to less than 50%.  Senior Management, and specifically the Managing Director, had thought that Global would agree to take the award, and had thus not prepared for the possibility that they wouldn’t.  This slashed our budget and left GRS without solid footing for 2016.  We were then left in the unfortunate position about having to ‘restructure’ and begin a process of retrenchments – aka layoffs.  This already unfavorable situation was made even worse by the fact that it had taken so long to make this decision (it was now December, and management had been sitting on this decision for months), and it was assumed by the general staff that our financial status was quite strong. Management did such a bad job communicating the issues, that staff went into these meetings in which they would eventually be retrenched, thinking that the meetings were to discuss an end of year bonus. So they walked into those meetings expecting to walk out with some extra cash for the holidays, and came out jobless, right before the end of the year, without a chance to make a plan for 2016.  Not great.  

To say that morale is low – especially at site – would totally undermine the gravity and anger of the situation.  Furthered by even more poor communication, site staff felt as though they were disproportionally selected to be laid off.  And while there were more staff from site that were affected, Senior Management lost three members as well.  But perception was that management was just doing away with Coaches and site staff and keeping their jobs to cover up for a mistake that Senior Management had made.  This has created even more of a divide between management at HQ and staff out at site.  A relationship which was already strained.  

Within HQ, we lost the Finance and Operations Director, the HR Director (who was partially responsible for me coming to South Africa), and the newly hired Programs Director.  So now when it comes time to apply for grant funding, there is no one in house that can compile a budget.  Furthermore, now that there is no HR person. If an employee (or an intern!) had an issue with another employee, who would they go to?  And I realize that the interns aren’t their biggest concern, but when you ask 12 people, many of whom are kids right out college, to donate a year of their life to the cause, leave their family, and travel across the world to do so, how do you then pull their local support system out from under them?  The HR director was the only person with whom the intern class had a relationship with before coming to SA.  He’s the only person who had a real mandate to support and maintain the intern experience.  Fortunately for me, this isn’t my first rodeo, but if I were the parent of a 22 year old young lady who put life on hold to come here, I would be mighty displeased.  And it certainly doesn’t make this intern want to sign on for an extended stay.

While these misfortunes having certainly caused pain and strife, they have also afforded me some very real opportunities to have a seat at the table in discussions that would normally be reserved for those with some relevant experience, or at least those whose salary doesn't start and end with a 0.  I have found myself in meetings with what’s left of Senior Management, with a very real opportunity to contribute.  I can see that my contributions hold real weight, are respected, and have the potential to really affect the status of the organization. So while I hate what has happened, and the process by which it was managed, I have benefited professionally via the somewhat detached perspective I mentioned earlier, and have garnered amazingly valuable experiences in non profit management (and mismanagement)..  

So that’s the current state of affairs at GRS.  The office, which used to be chaotic and loud, is quiet and spread pretty thin.  For example, I am the only one in the organization that is exclusively focused on Business Development and I have approximately zero experience with non profits, South Africa, HIV, Adolescent Health or business development.  My manager is actually the strategic communications director, and even she has very little experience in BD.

They have also announced that they slashing the intern program as it currently exists.  I understand that even free labor isn’t completely free, but it certainly seems a little bit shortsighted to do away with the program.  Maybe I’m just sentimental though, but it will change the face of the organization without a doubt.

So it’s a fairly sorry situation for the organization.  Unfavorable to say the least.  And in previous conversations, I may have employed the phrase “sinking ship” to describe GRS’s future.  And while it’s not actually that dire, it definitely doesn’t build much confidence.  Then again though, I’m learning, and that’s why I’m here.  So I’ll keep learning and watching from the inside and the outside (mole, eh?) with the hope that we can right the ship before I leave.