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How To Write A Love Letter To Yourself

 Big yourself up, no seriously.

In life, things can get tough. Most of us don't even realize how much difficulties we face daily, also while conducting business through work, school or taking care of our responsibilities at home.

It can be a lot, and when sh*t goes wrong, it can have a detrimental impact on our already stressful lives. It's easy for us to get down on ourselves when times get hard, especially when we have a million things going on at once. 

Whether going through a terrible breakup, losing your job or attempting to keep up with good grades at school, it can be A LOT. I'd know first hand. We can quickly feel neglected or forgotten about as well, especially for those of us who rarely have someone to talk to at times.

During these challenging times, we tend to beat up on ourselves. Anxiety may kick in, then comes depression and we're left feeling stressed out. Majority of the time, most of us are alone when we are going through our darkest moments; this isn't fair to anyone. When we do get into this space, although quite hard, it is important to remember not to be too hard on ourselves. 

We are only human, and we all do that best that we can. It hurts the most when you feel misunderstood or abandoned, primarily by those who we thought would have our backs in times of need. 

You aren't as bad as you think you are, and life isn't as unfair as it may feel at times. There is so much to be grateful for, including how far you've come and each obstacle you've endured. It's only right that you take some time to yourself to reflect and remind yourself just how unique and essential you are to the world and people around you.

During a very stressful time in my life, I wrote a love letter to myself. At the time, it was something I needed very much so. I was at a point where I felt I was being attacked in more ways than one. Everything seemed to be falling apart right before my very eyes. I felt myself slipping back into darkness, a place I told myself I would never revisit. 

It felt like I had no one in my corner and I needed to find a way to offer myself comfort and encouragement in some way shape or form.

Maybe one day in the future I'll share that letter with you all (it honestly might make some of you shed a tear or two), but for now, let's focus on the main topics I covered and apply it to your soon to be love letter:

 1. I spoke about what I loved about myself.

At the time this letter was written, I was in a place where I felt no one was able to see the value I added to their lives. I didn't feel genuinely appreciated and often felt worthless to the ones I would have done anything for. 

I almost believed the way they made me feel. As I slowly began to come to my senses, I thought I needed to remind myself how unique I was. I needed to name all of the things about myself that did, in fact, hold value and made me very special, even if no one else cared to see it.

Point out your quirks, your talents, gifts, and abilities. Heck, boast about your physical features if you must. What makes you stand out from the crowd? What do others love about you? We tend to pick at what we think may be wrong with us and rarely shine a light on what makes us special. Do that now.

 2. I spoke about the fondest memories others may have of me.

This memory could even be that one tiring but funny story your Uncle David had repeated over a thousand times from when you were eight years old. What about an act of kindness where you've helped someone in need? Even if it was a stranger, it counts. 

These are the imprints we leave on peoples hearts even as time passes on. Take credit for having a genuine sense of human nature. Also, how does it make you feel about yourself thinking back on these acts of kindness?

 3. I reflected on a time in my life (well, a few times) where I felt sad, afraid and alone. 

This one made me choke up, really bad. I thought about times where everything around me felt like darkness. I had no idea what the future would bring and honestly didn't know what the next day would look like for me.

This journey down memory lane made me realize how far I've come and how much I have managed to mature all on my own (feeling alone is something I've grown to be accustomed too for most of my life, even while being amongst people I adore).

It inspired me to look back and see how I managed to keep pushing forward at a time when I honestly didn't know any better. I was sad and down for a long while, and I felt that maybe that's just how my life was meant to be, but I was so wrong.

I know, I know, this one's a real tear-jerker, but I promise you will appreciate yourself and your journey so much more.

What was happening in that part of your life? What was the saddest part about that moment? Was someone taken out of your life or did they walk out on their own? Did someone betray you? How did it make you feel? How did you get over the hurt? What would you do differently now?

It hurts a lot to open old wounds, but most of us have had wounds that weren't appropriately healed because we chose to ignore the fact that it was there in the first place. To grow, we must go back and correct unfinished chapters to give ourselves closure. If not, the pain will carry on with us forever.

 4. I forgave myself and others for causing me pain.

Yup. I had to forgive myself for willingly putting myself in situations that I knew could potentially hurt me. I have a big heart, and even when I know better, to this day, I still find myself trying to see the best in people.

My problem was that I often tried to see the best out of the worst people. 

No Bueno. 

This confusion only added to my already present trust issues. At times, I'd allow the pain I felt to have a negative effect on people that didn't deserve it. I had to forgive myself and tell myself that it was ok because I am only human.

And for the people that deliberately chose to disregard my feelings, I allowed them to hold that power over me the more I felt upset about it. I had to tell myself it was ok because in reality, hurt people hurt people. 

If you are able to know better than someone who has caused you pain, you have already won. Your level of perception is more exceptional than there's, and that is your power. Never stoop to their level again. The right ones will eventually come forward and admit their faults when the time is right. This doesn't mean that you have to let them back in your life either.

Who are the people who've hurt you or left when you needed them the most? How about anyone that gave you their word just to go against it? Is there anyone who you may have damaged that you might want to show remorse for, even if to yourself? It's also healthy to check yourself when you're in the wrong, don't be inconsiderate or use your pain as an excuse for poor behaviour.

Be gentle to yourself, don't beat yourself up for having a big heart. We live in a world where acting cold is the new normal. Be thankful for being genuine.

 5. I made a quick list of my goals for the near future

This one sounds pretty basic, but there's more meaning behind it for me. For a long while, I wasn't even able to make a goal that seemed realistic to accomplish, even for things some would consider minor and overly achievable. 

This mindset that I had goes to show you what I thought of myself to be, not much at all.

Now that I've grown and matured drastically, I've slowly but surely been able to find myself (and still searching). In the past, my dreams weren't as vivid as they are now. I work at my goals every single day to make my visions become a reality. I'm amazed at how far I've come and how much my mindset has developed for the best. This growth has made me so very thankful for everything I have ever been through, no matter how dreadful it was while going through it.

What goals did you have then (if any) and how much of them have you achieved successfully? At a time of failure, what was your motivation to push forward? How about now? Life is too short to live without purpose. We all need to find at least one thing that brings love and happiness to our hearts.

 Go and write your love letter and finish it off with direct statements of how much you love yourself. Express how proud you are of yourself, especially for how far you've come. 

You have the power to make the best out of your future. Learn from your mistakes and stay positive. You are doing the best that you can. Wake up each day with a positive mindset. You'll thank yourself later. 

Shay <3

[writingwithrishhe-blog]

Be gentle & forgiving ✨ . . . #writer #writersofinstagram #writingprompts #writingcommunity #urbanauthor #urbanbooks #blackauthor #urbanfiction #urbanfictionauthor #writingtips #author #authorquotes #inspirationalquotes #relationshipquotes #motivationalquotes #upliftingquotes #inspiringquotes #entrepreneurmom #selfimprovement #selfgrowth #selflove #selflovequotes

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Since its Thursday 💋 . . . #writer #femaleentrepreneur #femaleempowerment #bossbabe #goaldigger #beyourownboss #staypositive #staypatient #waityourturn #dreambig #urbanauthor #urbanbooks #urbanfiction #blackfiction #blacknovel #blackwriters #blackbloggers

[writingwithrishhe-blog]

🙏🏾🙏🏾 I'll leave this right here. Thanks to all who read my short story so far, more to come 🔥🔥 . . #writersofinstagram #writer #writingprompts #upliftingquotes #inspirationalquotes #blackauthor #urbanauthor #urbanfiction #blackfiction #hoodfiction #urbanbooks #streetlit #streetliterature #writingtips #bossbabe #relationshipquotes #femaleentrepreneur #torontolife #torontoblog #blacktoronto #canadianhiphop

[writingwithrishhe-blog]

👀👀 Link in bio to read! 🤾🏾‍♀️⚡️Goooo . . #urbanfiction #urbanauthor #urbanauthors #blackwriters #streetlit #streetliterature #hoodtales #hoodstories #hoodnovels #urbanbooks #urbanfictionnovel #blackauthor #blackauthors #blackentrepreneur #blacktoronto #torontostreets #writingprompts #writersofinstagram #somethingtoread #bookstoread (at Toronto, Ontario)

[writingwithrishhe-blog]

Releasing tonight 👀👀🔥🔥 . I was nervous about this but pretty much dont have anything to lose at this point. It is urban fiction based as most of my projects will be. I just focus more on the meaning and messages behind everything I craft. Thanks for all the continued support, promise not to let you guys down ✨💋❤️ (at Toronto, Ontario)

[writingwithrishhe-blog]

I beg your pardon... I've been trying to lift my spirits up for a min! 😩😘 . . #writer #writersofinstagram #browngirlbloggers #blackgirlmagic #brownsugar #urbanwriters #staytrue #believeinyourself #selflove #selfgrowth #blackbloggers #girlboss #bossbabe #beyourownboss

[writingwithrishhe-blog]

It could be really hard to have this mindset, especially when we're at the mercy of other people's judgement. The moment you begin to love yourself entirely, what others think of you won't matter. Work on yourself for yourself, who's meant to be in your life will stay 💋✨ . . #writer #blackwriters #writersofinstagram #upliftingquotes #motivationalquotes #inspirationalquotes #staytrue #beyourself #selflove #selfgrowth #loveyourself #writingprompts #havefaith #urbanwriters #urbanwriter #blackgirlmagic #browngirlmagic #browngirlbloggers #browngirlmagic

[writingwithrishhe-blog]

Stay true, be you 💋 . #writer #blackblogger #browngirlbloggers #blackgirlmagic #blackwriters #bossbabe

[writingwithrishhe-blog]

Because I can't be the only one that gets excited for Cardi B whenever I see crowds going crazy for her 😩 knowing she started from the bottom 🙌🏾 . Don't give up, patience is your best friend! . #cardib #dontgiveup #inspirationalquotes #motivationalquotes #writer #writersofinstagram #blackwriters #browngirlblogger #blackgirlmagic #femaleentrepreneur #urbanauthor #beyourownboss #bossbabe #girlboss #blackbloggers #selflove #selfgrowth #believeinyourself #upliftingquotes (at Toronto, Ontario)

[writingwithrishhe-blog]

Happy Sunday 🙏🏾✨ Show love no matter what. Rid yourself of bitterness, it'll eat away at you. . Thanks to all who've signed up for my blog release. Crafting the finishing touches as we speak 💋 . #writer #writersofinstagram #writingprompts #writingtime #writingtips #urbanauthor #blackwriters #blackwriter #urbanfiction #selflove #innerpeace #selfgrowth #loveyourself #femaledomination #momblogger #blackgirlmagic #browngirlblogger #beyourownboss #bossladymindset #girlboss #inspirationalquotes #successquotes #bossbabe

[writingwithrishhe-blog]

I've had the same dream for years. The only thing that has changed is how I'd get there and with whom ✨ Believe in yourself even when it feels like no one is cheering for you. . . #writer #writersofinstagram #blackwriter #blackwriters #motivationalquotes #inspirationalquotes #upliftingquotes #selflove #selflovequotes #selfgrowth #believeinyourself #havefaith #faithquotes #writingprompts #urbanauthor #urbanfiction #urbanbooks #blackwritersofinstagram

[writingwithrishhe-blog]

✨ Accept what is done and try your best to move forward. Don't forget to put a smile on 😘 . . #writer #writersofinstagram #writingprompts #writingprompt #blackwriters #blackauthor #blackauthors #urbanfiction #urbanauthor #lovequotes #upliftingquotes #inspirationalquotes #relationshipquotes #breakupquotes #selflove #selflovequotes

[writingwithrishhe-blog]

Tell me about it 😩 Use what's on your mind to your advantage. Pen & paper are you're friends ✍🏾📓📝 Link in my bio to sign up for my blog launch alert! I'll be offering free writing tips of all kinds ✨ . #writer #writing #writersofinstagram #author #writingtips #writingprompts #novelwriting #authortips #motivationalquotes #inspirationalquotes #urbanauthor #urbanauthors #urbanbooks #streetlit .

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Have you signed up for my blog launch alert yet? The link is in my bio if you missed it, I added a survey question to help me out as I create more content. Feel free to sign up again to answer it! . Don't forget to share & confirm subscription in your email as well. Your feedback is cherished ✨ . #writerblog #authorsofinstagram #authorblog #writing #writingtips #writerscommunity #writingprompts #urbanauthor #urbannovels #urbanwriter #streetlit #writingtherapy

[writingwithrishhe-blog]

✨

[writingwithrishhe-blog]

Sad, but true. . Let that hurt go, but try using it to your advantage ✨ Click my bio link to sign up for a notification once my blog launches 🙌🏾 . #writersofinstagram #writingprompts #writingprompt #instawriters #writerlife #urbanauthor #urbannovels #urbanbooks #creativewriting