worstboard-blog

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From moot himself:

I've never met someone from /soc/. Actually, I got milkshakes with 3 dudes, but that's it. The board should have been named "Camwhore" but I didn't want a board named that. Stop ignoring every single announcement and rule I've ever made for the board.

Okay, guys, that's pretty much it.

I'm closing Worst Board.

Love you all and see you guys somewhere else, —Ed

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schaka replied to your quote: Actually, I’ve been thinking about it, and...

/soc/ having no board culture? Yeah not anymore since moot banned the actual SOCIAL aspect of the board by removing names.

WAHHHWAHHHHHHWAHHHHHHWAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Seriously though moot stop treating us like we're a concentration camp.

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gamergirl1337 replied to your quote: “Actually, I’ve been thinking about it, and...

That would be true if it weren’t for moot trying his damnedest to completely crush any sort of board culture. It’s true only because it’s been forced to shape that way.

This.

Also, far too many people pull the whole "yeah, but moot made /soc/ because he wanted the cancerous shit off /b/", but consider the fact that hookup threads et al still exist on /b/ — admittedly for only brief spells before either getting lost or deleted — and that /b/ has always, always, always been shit.

/soc/ has been persecuted — I killed myself inside before using that word — from day one both by moot and by other boards in spite of the fact that the board and its users are sticking to the name and mandate given to the board: being social. (Yes, dick rate threads are, perversely enough, still about being social.) We here at Worst Board would like to argue that /soc/ spends more time being social than /lit/ spends time reading books or /vg/ spends time playing games.

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Actually, I've been thinking about it, and creating /soc/ was actually a massive stroke of genius on moot's part. The definition of what is cancer is amorphous and has shifted over time. However, if we divide /b/ into two categories, consumptive versus creative, then it is very clear why /soc/ was created. /soc/ has been around for roughly 18 months but has a) no intrinsic memes b) no "board consciousness" and c) is deeply divided. This should be expected: the threads that /soc/ was created for (camwhore, rate, meet-up) aren't designed to generate memes or creative content. To the contrary, they're designed to consume users. /soc/ as a board is largely predicated on a constant influx of new visitors that can be consumed: new camwhores, new contactfags, new personalities. It's not creative, it's consumptive.

QBERTON, 4CHAN (THE INTERNET) — A poster on the new /q/ - 4chan discussion board gives an interesting perspective on what makes /soc/ so shit during a thread which namechecks, of all things, Worst Board.

Creation vs Consumption is an intriguing topic...

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/soc/ turns 18 — Ultimate Whore Slag Bitch Cunt Delicious Firebush Puddems Sells Body For Money, Breaks e-Boyfriend Ed's Heart

SKYPESVILLE, THE INTERNET — Darling dove, pudding pop, soulmate, and sweet little girl turned whoremobile cuntface slagtits teenyboppertramp gingervag infection-o-maker Puddems is now selling her lithe teenage body in the most heinous and sinful ways, reported Worst Board editor and ex-boyfriend Ed on Friday.

The disgusting whore declared her interest to cam for money in a Friday SMA thread she posted in.

She is known to drop in and out of SMA threads, causing mass neckbeard masturbation frenzies in one post.

In an exclusive interview with Worst Board, Puddems revealed that in the first day of her camming she performed an estimated fifteen shows from 11pm to 6am, making several hundred dollars and letting approximately 1.5 trillion sperm die agonizing tissue deaths over the seven hour period. The International Criminal Court responded to Worst Board reporters saying, "We're still investigating if this is tantamount to genocide charges. But this is incredibly unprecedented — you can quote us on that."

Sources state that Puddems charges by the minute, negotiating payment and camshow length before beginning the Skype videochat. She acknowledged that her operation was strictly independent.

An SMA contemporary of the firecrotched slag, speaking off the record, said that Puddems' rate was similar to what she charged when she had briefly dabbled in paid camwhoring.

Puddems, 18, is perhaps the most famous camwhore in the world, with a fame that transcends /soc/ and 4chan entirely. A recent July study by the Copenhagen-based Worst Board Institute for Curated Masturbation Studies (I-CuMS) estimated that up to nine hundred million people have masturbated to Puddems.

Notable for her acrid and painfully staged e-personality, Puddems had previously been in a semi-public relationship between 2003 to 2012 with the stunningly handsome Worst Board editor Ed, who she had called 'Daddy', breaking up with him sporadically only when she felt the need to anally copulate with various household objects.

Heartbreakingly, the Skype account she uses to commit these horrible sins was the Skype account created by Ed for the purposes of their bad romance. Cryfapping will commence in 3... 2... 1... premature ejaculation!

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So, I'll admit to posting on /soc/ and enjoying it...but this is actually a hilarious and accurate blog. Kudos to you for documenting the faggotry that abounds on /soc/!

:3

Love,—Ed. 

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/soc/ turns 18 — The Sordid Sexy True History of Social Board Camwhoring (Part I)

They come from most of the Canadian provinces and the majority of American states; from points south in Mexico, Brazil and Argentina; across the Atlantic from unconfirmed reports in South Africa, Egypt and Israel; rumors, as well, from Japan and the Philippines before doubling back to Europe: the British Isles, France, Spain and Portugal, Italy, Germany, Poland, the Czech Republic, Scandinavia and countless places elsewhere.

They are insouciant and prolix teenagers, disaffected and lonely twentysomethings, and if you believe the stories, married and divorced mothers and fathers: they are an innumerable and disparate group. They are camwhores.

/soc/, as it stands, is roughly eighteen months old. In those eighteen months, untold thousands of people, men, women and transgender, have shed their clothes.  Despite those numbers and the large role that camwhoring has played in the development of culture (if it can so be called), history (if there is any), and identity (if it has one) of the board, precious little has been written on the subject.

This undertaking by and large is designed to preserve the cultural artifacts, and was borne out of the morbid curiosity over what has been written. However, I do not wish to simply be constrained by historiography — tracing the history of /soc/-camwhoring is a bit like tracing the history of spoken language: we know it's been around for a long time and have seen it develop and change over that span, but we have little to no idea from whence it came and how it began.

Rather, there are questions that were never asked that should have been asked and explored.

Why are there almost no famous male camwhores?

What is the obsession with traps?

What, if any, morals govern underage camwhores?

Camwhoring, despite having provided a hefty percentage of threads on /soc/, has simply been glossed over or disregarded as unworthy of discourse. Beyond that, there are where-are-they-now stories: camwhores who are shrouded in equal parts mystery, half-truths, and outright lies. Some of the most famous names have simply up and vanished, thus cementing the reputation of the camwhore threads as dark and seedy speakeasies where fame is fleeting and flesh is flaunted in front of a feverish and increasingly factious flock of gawkers. Nevertheless, from the metaphorical and literal low point of camwhoring on /soc/, the foot threads, onto the fringe threads for husky men and traps, through to the Big Three of SMA, Chubby and Big Girl Thread, and all points in between, this is the story of camwhoring on /soc/.

— Guest editor IG is a scholar, gentleman, and Nobel Peace Prize-winning author of Camwhoring For Cash?: A Sugar Daddy's Guide To Not Getting Ripped Off By Crazy New Jersey Bitches. He lives and breathes on the Internet. In his spare time he meticulously dissects culture (if it can so be called), history (if there is any), and identity (if it has one) on the Social board of 4chan.

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/soc/ turns 18 — fuckyoumoot.jpg

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/SOC/ IS LEGAL!

18 months, that is.

But we here at Worst Board figure that if a month on 4chan equates to a year on the real world, then by now /soc/ will have officially turned 18! That means it can do lots of things, like:

Vote

Take naked pictures

Have sex in every state

Change its name (maybe to /faggotry/? or /camwhore/? or /shit/? —Ed)

Open a checking account

Get an adult driver’s license

Get a tattoo/piercing

Be drafted into the military

Enlist in the military

Serve on a jury

File a lawsuit

Be sued

Buy spray paint

Work more hours

Pawn something

Get married

Get divorced

Adopt a child

Be on Jerry Springer

Go on a cruise

Buy a lottery ticket

Get a hotel room

Get a Costco membership

Skydive or go bungee jumping

Sign legal documents/contracts

Gamble

Secure a loan

Finance a car

Buy insurance

Donate blood

Earn credit and check your credit score

Buy porn (as if you would buy porn —Ed)

Buy cigarettes

Be convicted as an adult

Go to adult jail

Work in an alcohol-serving establishment

Apply for a business license

Apply for a credit card

Go to a strip club

Work in a strip club

Enter a contest

Write a check

Get utilities in your name

Lease an apartment or house

Buy a house

Cash a savings bond

Buy nitrous oxide

Rent a post office box

Start a 401K plan

Happy 18th birthday, /soc/!

Our series of /soc/ articles will go live tonight with a State of the Union feature on /soc/ camwhoring by a feature writer!

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This popped up on my personal Tumblr dash a few minutes ago. It's hilarious. Some anon is accusing German sex-shepherd Schaka of harassing KickR, everybody's least favorite angled dick-stroker. There are perhaps some political concerns here. Schaka is German. KickR is Jewish. World War II 2.0? (World War 4.0?)

No, not quite.

Trufax: Schaka has been caught in a few threads actually whiteknighting KickR, which is something nobody can quite understand. KickR's nudes have been posted and reposted in nearly every thread he's in on /soc/ — which, to be fair, you kinda sign up for the moment you get capped and exposed like this yet continue to shamelessly hit on girls while calling out other dudes you're in competition with.

But KickR has found in him an unlikely defender, Schaka. Is it Holocaust guilt? Or could it be... actual human decency? Nobody wants to be known forever as the guy who jerks off with a paper towel. There are people out there trying to remind KickR of his worst moments, over and over again. I don't doubt KickR is still camming and creeping around. But would it be too much to give him a break?

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TUMBLR, THE INTERNET — /soc/'s own Damagedolly is probably the most famous /soc/ camwhore in the world now, after the publication of this Vice feature featuring her and her mysterious lack of a vagina.

It's true, her story is pretty uplifting.

Kinda miffed that I didn't get the scoop story on this first! (Dear Damagedolly, if you're reading this, send me a message.)

Always great to see someone get over a threatening condition and gain a lifetime of people obsessing over your pictures so they can masturbate over you. Much love, Ed.

The Strangely Uplifting Tale of the Cam-Girl with No Vagina

I was raised on the same diet of girl-on-girl coprophilia, animal torture, and 24-hour Arabic news channels that every child of generation WWW was, so the internet has to work pretty hard to shock me. But when a friend of mine linked me to this (very NSFW) photo-set at Efukt.com, I was actually taken aback by what I saw.

The girl in the photos calls herself “DamageDolly” and works as a webcam stripper, or “cam-girl.” As I scrolled down the page, not only was a colostomy bag visible, but the model had severe scarring from her navel down to what appeared to be absent genitalia. Farther down the page, a photo showed her with two fresh mastectomy wounds.

Intrigued as to how she’d summoned the confidence to disrobe in front of the cruel, cruel internet, I decided to track her down and find out her story. Her name is Sally and her story is hard to swallow, but it’s kinda logical when you think about it. I guess it’s just not the kind of logic you have to think about very often.

VICE: Hi Sally. Can you tell me more about your condition? Sally: I suffer from Crohn’s disease and I was 14 when it first started. It’s a digestive disorder and it can affect you anywhere from your nose and mouth to your vagina or anus, and it’s usually something that gives you problems when going to the bathroom and absorbing things into your body. Like nutrients and stuff.

What was your first procedure? I had the first procedure done in 2006. That was a colostomy. They put it in with the hopes of it being temporary, but we all knew it was going to be permanent.

How did it affect your sex life? My sex life was already greatly impacted because of what I was going through down there. I had my first signs of it when I was a teenager, but when I hit 18, it was just awful.

In what way? You know where your pelvic bone is? My vagina hung down about that far and it was just like a mass of… I don’t even know. It was like elephantitis of the vagina. It was horrible. It turned out it was Crohn’s and chronic inflammation together. I had to have it all removed.

When was that? That was 2007. I had it done in two stages. First, I had the colostomy, then the full vulvectomy. Then, in 2008, I had to have a total of six surgeries—two while I was pregnant and four more after.

You have a child? Yes, he’ll be four in December. I haven’t seen him since March, though. He lives with his father, who was really abusive during our entire relationship. He was a horrible, evil, mean person. We had a kid and we were both on drugs, although I quit when I found out I was pregnant. We were doing a lot of methamphetamine, but I decided that I didn’t want to be sick anymore, so I was trying to stop doing it. I was in the hospital a lot while I was pregnant and I confided in nurses when I was messed up on my pain medicine, and eventually they reported us for domestic violence.

Has it been difficult for you to see your son since then? Yes. At first I had primary custody, but then due to some mental health issues of my own and then later a relapse, he now has primary custody.

CONTINUE

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Why did it take so long for a girl to leak kickr's nudes and which namefag do you think is next?

>why did it take so long for a girl to leak kickr's nudesGenerally, even with a horndog like KickR, you don't get into a sexual relationship with him without him gaining leverage on you too. Also, do you really want to be known as "that girl who cams with KickR"?

>which namefag do you think is nextTo be outed in this way? The most likely ones are schaka, haunter, rory, r-ant, brit, or myself.

Love,—Ed.

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Groupies, Groupies Everywhere

Ed: ooh

Ed: i've gotta check your clip out

Ed: when i'm not in a "i want to watch porn" mood though, no offense

r-ant: lol

r-ant: c'mon

r-ant: put me on

r-ant: fap to something else

r-ant: it'll be like i'm encouraging you

r-ant: not gay at all

Ed: i swear to god i'll post this to worst board

r-ant: rofl

r-ant: that's what i need

r-ant: everyone thinking i'm gay for you

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Worst board tumblr, Y U WORSE THAN WORST BOARD /soc/?

Worse than /soc/? Have you seen /soc/ lately?

Love,—Ed. 

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What happened to Elton? Did she leave because r-ant came back?

Nice try, r-ant. You're not relevant anymore.

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r-ant replied to your post: You seem like someone who spends time on /soc/ and probably knows a thing or 2. So I would really like to know more about Ferox. As far as I know she’s a semi regular poster from Norway and we are in e-love, at least I am. And she will be once I get her doxxz. Why would you do that? Well for my eternal gratitude ofc.

That was the fake blond with too much eye makeup and a man’s jaw, right?

I literally had never heard of the name up until I got that message.

Dear Ferox: do you have a Tumblr? Do you follow Worst Board? Will you send me nudes? You should.

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What if they're underage nudes...

Render unto Moot what belongs to Moot, render unto Ed what belongs to Ed.

(P.S. Braces posts on /soc/ every day and they're underage nudes.)