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I need an opinion
Should I turn this into a Splatoon/Coroika blog? I’ve been super into it recently and I’m wanting to make content for it and write for it but I’m not sure. Should I make the commitment?
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Masterlist
Good Omens:
Crowley x Pregnant!Reader
The Long Walk:
We Go Together(Garraty x McVries)
The Other Side(Preview)
Original Writings:
They Call Me Salvation(Preview)
They Call Me Salvation Ch.1
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They Call Me Salvation Ch.1
When I was a kid my mom would tell me stories of angels. When I would lay down to sleep the last thing that she told me was that the angels were watching over me as I slept. I remember that terrifying me, the idea of some celestial being just watching me as I slept. It even just sounds creepy.
She was a religious woman and she was in church every time the doors opened. First in and the last out, she was always situated in the front pew. She even taught Sunday school classes for the children of the church.
Needless to say, her life revolved around church, and God and the stories of the Bible.
This would play an important part in my upbringing. I had been raised in church my entire life, being dragged along by my mother. She didn’t read me fairy tales as bedtime stories. Instead, she read to me the lives of Daniel, Joseph, Ruth and who could forget about the big man himself: Jesus Christ himself. I was constantly reminded that I could go to the Lord with any problem I had. All I needed to do was pray and he would handle it.
As I grew older I found myself praying that she would just leave me alone.
I was a teenager when I began to pull away from her religious way of life. Looking back on it now I guess it was really inevitable. Children with my kind of upbringing typically turn out one of two ways; They either become just like their parents and become hyper-religious or they defect from the church and do what they can to distance themselves from their old lifestyle. I chose the latter.
My teenage years would best be described as a massive trainwreck. I fell in with the rebellious cliques at school. You know the ones. The ones that skip class to hang out behind the gym to smoke and talk shit about the rest of the school body. I spent more time in detention than I did at home and my once exemplary grades had fallen to barely passing at best. I dyed my hair and went behind my mom’s back to get piercings. I snuck out at night to go vandalize cars smoke weed with my so-called friends.
One thing remained constant, however, my mom continued to try to fix me. The more I rebelled the more she doubled down on trying to force me into the church. I lost track of how many times she told me that I needed to stop living such a carnal life if I wanted to get into Heaven. That she wouldn’t stand by and watch her only daughter die a sinner and if I continued on this path that was what was bound to happen. At the time I always blew her off; I would roll my eyes or scoff and walk out the door.
I wish I had listened to her.
As soon as I turned 18 I moved into my girlfriend's apartment. I just wanted to get away from my mom in any way I could and that was the quickest possible way. I packed up my things while she slept and by the time she had woken up any trace of me was erased from that house. I remember her blowing up my phone with texts and calls. She was begging me to come home, threatening to call the police to bring me back, asking what she had done wrong. She said anything that she could that she thought might bring me back to her. Finally, I sent a simple message saying that I was never coming back and wanted absolutely nothing to do with her. She didn’t reply.
I thought I knew everything back then. I thought that I was in control of my own life finally and I was elated. I could do whatever I chose, whenever I chose. What I chose to do was drop out of school. I pulled myself out of school as fast as I could and before I knew it my new life was filled with going to parties with my girlfriend and our friends. My days were drunk away and I became very familiar with the burn of alcohol and things were fun. I was having the time of my life. Life was one big party and I couldn’t be happier. Why wouldn’t I be? I finally had my freedom, I had friends that I thought cared about me and I had a girlfriend that I loved. I had everything I had ever wished for, but I guess I should have been more careful with what I wished for. If I had just listened to my mother and saw what she was trying to teach me then perhaps I would have been graduating from college soon. I would have had a chance to have my own career, my own family, and happy life.
Instead, I shunned her and I paid the price for it: my life.
As a child, I remember being fascinated with stories of Hell and Satan. While other children longed to know more of the eternal paradise of Heaven; what with its streets paved with gold and its reputation as a place of peace and life, I was curious about the Underworld.
My main fascination laid within the fact that despite all of the claims that God loved humanity and wanted the best for them that he would allow his creations to go to such a place. Why would he allow that? The scripture states that Hell was created for the Devil and his angels, not for man. Yet it also states that Hell is enlarging its borders day by day. I never understood why God would let his creations fall so low if he truly loved them so much. However, one thing that stuck with me for life: Hell was a place of fire and suffering. I can assure you that they're wrong, about the fire part anyway. I would know, after all, I've become rather well acquainted will Hell over the last decade.
Hell is cold and calculating. Floored with dull gray slate and crags and boulders as far as the eye can see. Rusted chains and countless hallways filled with rooms but never seem to lead to anywhere in particular. Think of the labyrinth, with its channels and unexpected twists and turn, then add the never-ending soundtrack of screaming and the nauseating smell of sulfur then you've got a better idea of Hell than whoever wrote the Bible. I'm telling you after you die the number of inaccuracies become stunningly obvious. At least that's how it was for me. It's not like I had much else to do other than point everything out as I was being escorted to my very own torture chamber. Gee, I felt honored. How nice of them to give me my own personal room to serve out the after-life sentence that I had been handed by the most corrupt judge of them all.
Something else that you'll notice when you arrive on Satan's doorstep is that demons don't look like demons. They don't have horns and wings and the blood-red skin. They don't even have fangs or anything that humans had thought demons may have looked like. You heard me, all of those renaissance painting are wrong. Demons look like anyone else. Your next-door neighbor, a particularly nasty ex, maybe even a sibling or a complete stranger.
For me, my demon was my very own father.
I hardly knew the man in life, he left my mother and me when I was just ten years old but even then he wasn't particularly active in my life. He was always "busy at work" or being "sent on another business trip by the boss". Looking back on it, if I had known what I know now it should have been obvious that all of those business trips were really to his secretary's house to fuck her into the mattress.
I'd later go on to learn that his affair had been going on for three years before he left. Or maybe it hadn't, who knows. That's the thing about demons, you never know when they're telling you the truth or when they're lying through faces of stone. They're creatures of sin, what use do they have for the truth? When it causes you pain, that's when.
You see, abuse isn't just physical and anyone who tells you that is full of shit. Sure there is the immediate satisfaction of hearing screams of agony and moans of pain. There's a rush in watching scarlet red pour from gashes and slits in the poor soul's flesh and nothing could ever compare to watching someone take their last breath, their chest stilling only for it to resume a moment later for the torture to begin all over again. That all gets boring after a time, however, the best feeling is feeding someone the truths- or lies- they had feared to hear for their entire life. Slowly but surely tearing down every single wall and taking a sledgehammer to any small sliver of resolve that they may have been clinging to. When you see that last glimmer of light fade from their eyes that's when you know you have won because it's always about winning. It's about proving to that soul on your rack that you hold all of the cards in the end and nothing that they feel or think can do anything to change that. A demon would love nothing more than to just pull up a chair with a bucket of popcorn and enjoy your demise as if it was a fine film.
They always make you a deal at the end of every day though. A deal that sounds so beautiful sliding off of their silver tongue, a deal that you would have to be stupid to refuse. In exchange for your quasi-freedom, you must become the torturer. Sacrifice whatever humanity you still had left and let the underworld embrace you to become one of its very own. You're already in hell anyway so what's the point in refusing it.
Over the course of my stay here, I've had a few strong souls come across my rack. The rare few that took it on the chin and no matter how many times you offer them the relief they tell you to go hell(which is redundant in and of itself because I'm already there, thank you. That's how we found ourselves in this situation jack ass) and then they go on to endure for another day. These are the ones that no matter how much pain they are dealt they refuse to buckle, they refuse to choose to inflict pain rather than endure it. From time to time I found myself envying them for I was not one of the strong ones. I won't deny I was weak. If I wasn't then I wouldn't have found myself as a cold-blooded demon with a taste for pain and blood, but hey at least I got some cool powers out of it.
Truth be told I don't know how long I lasted on the rack. The thing about Hell is that you don't know what time is. It isn't as if they have clocks hanging around and you can easily turn your head and think "Oh! It's one o'clock, looks like I only have 23 more hours of torture until tomorrow". That's not how it looks. You lose track of everything when you die. You don't know what time it is, what day it is, all you know is where you are at and that's kind of hard to get wrong. I'm getting sidetracked. I tend to do that a lot.
Anyway, however long I lasted doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is that I didn't last long enough. At some point, something within me snapped and I didn't just climb off that rack, I jumped. I was willing to do anything to end the horror that unleashing that same pain on to someone else seemed so small. It didn't matter that I would be putting someone else in my very position. Nothing mattered other than ending my pain. Funny thing, selfishness had actually been one of my sins that landed me in this place. I was never much one for putting others before myself but selfish is a bit harsh. There's nothing wrong with wanting to get ahead while I could and if I had to cut down a few people in the process then so be it.
That's all it has ever been about and all it will ever be about: Getting ahead and winning this twisted game of cat and mouse that I've found myself in. What game you may ask? Well, you're about to find out.
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Could you do a pregnant!reader x Crowley? Where Crowley is really nervous about being a dad and wants to protect you as much as possible?
Requests are open! Enjoy!
“Crowley, there’s really no need to worry, I just got up to get a glass of water”
You glanced at the fussy demon, a look of partial amusement on your face. Ever since your pregnancy was confirmed he had become increasingly protective and even the slightest bit overbearing. You had to admit, it had been endearing at first, just seeing him become so passionate about something that wasn’t his plants or temptation but he had really reached a new level of crazy.
“The doctor put you on bed rest for a reason love.”Crowley began, his shaded gaze falling on you “You need to conserve your energy, what if you had fallen trying to reach for a glass? There are more accidents in the kitchen than any other room of the house, I just couldn’t live with myself if you had gotten injured doing something so-”
Crowley paused mid-word as you laid a gentle hand on his cheek. A soft laugh spilled from your lips as you shook your head. “You worry way too much”
“What? I do not! I’m simply concerned” The demon sputtered with a look of indignation on his face.
“No, you’re hovering. You never were this protective before my pregnancy then all of a sudden you’re trying to make every move for me. For crying out loud you won’t even let me go grocery shopping on my own”
“And with good reason! Have you seen how people drive? They hardly take a look at where they are going, they’re reckless, love. Midday traffic in London is just an accident waiting to happen. It’s horribly dangerous out there”
“What will you do when we have our little one then? Will you keep us trapped in the house because it’s simply too hazardous to go out? I suppose we can just homeschool them, they won’t need social interaction. Their entire reality will be within our flat, but that’s no big deal because we just can’t risk their safety now can we?” You said flatly “Really my dear, you’re being unreasonable”
A sullen look slowly slid on Crowley’s face and he turned his head away from your hand. He chewed on the inside of his cheek as he warred with himself on whether he should just voice his concerns. But how would you look at him?! He’s a demon! He has no reason for stupid fears and anxiety. He is an ethereal being, one that many feared and yet here he was facing the unclear perils of parenthood and he was trembling like a child.
“I’m scared, okay?”He said quietly, almost so quietly that you had trouble piecing together what he said, “I’ve lived through 6000 years and I’ve seen so many things. I’ve seen tragedies, wars, deaths, and I’ve had my hand in many of those but it still terrifies me. We’ll be sending our child out into a world of pain and danger and there is only so much I can do to protect them. There has never been anything on this planet that means as much to me as you and our child do and I’m deathly serious when I say that I’m not sure how I could go on living if something were to happen to you two and I was helpless to stop it” Crowley bit his lip, closing his eyes quickly as his sunglasses were slowly removed.
“Crowley, look at me please” You murmured, smiling slightly as you were met with bright golden irises and stark slanted pupils.
“I understand that this is all new to you, and it’s terrifying. Hell, I’m scared out of my mind. What if I’m not a good mother? What if I fail my child and what if I can’t be what they need? We can’t let that rule us though. If I sat in fear of everything that I may do wrong then I would be miserable all of the time, and that is no way to live. Our future as parents is uncertain and while that is scary it’s also exciting. We get to make a life together with our child and yes that comes with many dangers but that also comes with many rewards. Like seeing your son or daughter take their first steps, or taking them out for ice cream and a day at the park. The way I see it the rewards far outway the risks”
Crowley sighed quietly, standing in silence for a moment, the words of his beloved bringing a slight peace to him. It didn’t calm his fears but he knew deep down that you were right-even if he wouldn’t admit it out loud. “I still don’t like the idea of you reaching so far but I suppose it may do you some good to get around” He grumbled, his way of giving in and still keeping his pride intact.
You rolled your eyes before stepping up on your tiptoes to peck his cheek. “Maybe we can go for a walk later, get some fresh air” You suggested, a hopeful look in your eyes even as an uneasy expression made its way to Crowley’s face but end the end shook his head before saying, “Only if you promise to take it easy for the rest of the day”
“Only if you’ll be by my side dearest”
Crowley huffed a small laugh and stole a quick kiss, “Funny that you thought I wouldn’t be”
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My new tattoos
So, I went today and got my first two tattoos and I’m sure you can tell what inspired them
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Good Omens prompts
Hey! I’m in the mood to write some Good Omens so if anyone has any request let me know! I’d love to write them
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The Other Side (Preview)
Another preview! This one is for a modern AU The Long Walk fic that I’m working on.
Ray Garraty was a normal kid with a normal life. He lived in a tiny town in the middle of Maine with his mother. He went to school like he was supposed to. Got good grades because he was supposed to. He went out for the sports teams because he was supposed to, even dated the perfect girl-next-door because he was supposed to. His entire life was filled with things that he was supposed to do. He was expected to be the perfect young man, the kind of young man that anyone would be proud to know. So that’s how he lived his life. He did everything that was expected of him and never really bothered to consider what he wanted to do. If he did what he wanted then that would only upset his mother and his teachers and it was just so much easier to go on living like their perfect little puppet rather than listen to the lectures that would be inevitable.
“You don’t really want that do you?”
“Don’t be foolish. This class would be best for you, you do want to get into a good college don’t you?”
“You’ll never make anything out of yourself if you don’t do this. You’ll be just like your father and you don’t want that.”
At this point Ray didn’t know what he wanted. He had never been given the choice to decide what he wanted for himself. It was always told to him and decided for him before he even had the chance to think about it. That was the thing though, wasn’t it? They didn’t want him to think for himself.
No, Ray Garraty wasn’t very sure of what he wanted for himself but he knew for a fact that when he laid eyes on the dark haired new kid in his class, well he knew he wanted him. Something drew him in, whether it was the mysterious scar on his cheek or the glares that he sent to anyone that so much as looked at him. It may be a bad idea but Ray knew what he wanted now, and what he wanted was him.
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They Call Me Salvation(Preview)
This is just a preview of an original series that I’ve got coming up. Enjoy.
There are many stories surrounding angels. They are painted as God’s greatest creation. They are supposed to be the driving force of good in the world, the last defense against the demons that tried to wreak havoc on the ‘poor, unsuspecting humans’ The same humans that look blindly to the angels to protect them and keep them safe. Little do they know angels are some of the most corrupt beings. Their beautiful, ethereals appearances do not match up with their ugly, disgusting personalities. They care about nothing other than getting ahead. Their existence is comprised of cutting anyone down that serves no purpose for them; Regardless of who you are, even if it means slaughtering their own kind.
I had the unfortunate pleasure of witnessing this first hand. They killed my lover in cold blood, simply because of who she was. Their precious little lamb had strayed away from the flock and as punishment her life was forcefully taken from her. They took my solace from me. My safe place, my home, the very person who made me feel human again.
That was when I made my vow. I promised to kill every single angel mercilessly, just like they did to her. They call me Salvation and I will avenge my lover. Whatever it takes.
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We Go Together
On the morning of the fifth day of the Long Walk Raymond Garraty made a decision. It was a simple decision that, he supposed, had already been made up for him from the moment he witnessed Curley buy his ticket but just something he had never brought himself to do. He had decided to give up.
Looking back on it the decision to just up and lay down was a waste. A waste of his life, a waste of everyone’s time, and most of all a waste of McVries’ effort. After all of those warnings he had taken to get him moving again, to save his life because ‘you’re going to be the one to win this Garraty. You’ve got to keep going to win.’ And maybe that’s the reason why he decided to give in, because of McVries. Pete had saved his hide more than once when he should have died. He should have bought his ticket a long time ago. He should have been wrapped up in those canvas body bags with his blood staining the concrete. What made McVries think that he was so deserving of winning this hellish event? What made him more deserving than any of their fallen walkers? All of these boys had families at home. Loved ones that would be getting a letter in a couple of days detailing the loss of their son but not to worry because ‘The young man passed away with dignity and his bravery will be commended.’ They shouldn’t have to be brave. They were all just kids! Kids marched off to their death like lambs to the slaughter while the rest of the nation watches on as if it was the finals of a baseball series. Crowds urged them on like they were animals purely there for entertainment. To the crowds they weren’t young men with futures and lives ahead of them. He wasn’t Ray Garraty: The 16 year old boy from Androscoggin county, with a mother waiting anxiously by the television with the hope that her son will make it to the next checkpoint. He wasn’t Ray Garraty, the boy who knew how to knit and knew how to dance the rhumba and the cha-cha. He wasn’t a person with a life and a personality. No, to these crowds he was just a number. A number that was expected to march on like a good little soldier while he smiled and waved at the onlookers like a pre programmed robot. The worst part of this wasn’t the dehumanization. He could handle being seen as a number, but the worst part was when he began to lose sight of who he was.
He was no longer Ray Garraty. Ray Garraty died at 9:00 am on May 1st when he took that very first step on this long and winding road. He still looked like the same boy but he knew deep down that he wasn’t the same. He hadn’t been the same ever since the killing began and he realized that all of these boys were just like him. They had lives and personalities and interests ad were just being gunned down like animals. Human beings were being killed in cold blood and there was nothing he could do about it unless he wanted to end up just like them. Olson and Parker had been example enough.
So one by one his friends drop and his resolve fizzled out along with their lives. Baker had been the last straw. If any of them had deserved this torture the Baker had deserved it the least out of all of them. Such a caring and kind friend, Baker had pushed past everything and in the end it had been one fall that had taken him out. A single fall that had broken something within him and had turned on a faucet of blood that had leaked out ceaselessly.
Garraty gagged as the image of Baker’s blood soaked shirt came to mind. His bright eyes had dulled with death.
“Walk a little longer, Art”
Garraty’s eyes burned as if he was about to cry but he couldn’t. He had no tears left in him. He was exhausted and drained and wanted nothing more than to sit down and rest his feet. Just for a second. He dragged a hand up to rub at his eyes, his head turning to his left where Stebbins tredded on wordlessly. At some point the white rabbit had fallen into step with him, abandoning his post in the back. Well, there really was no back anymore with the three of them left. Stebbins, Garraty and McVries. A spark of panic jolted through him, his head shooting around to look for the other boy. He hadn’t heard from him and bit and he briefly wondered if he had somehow bought his ticket while he was in his stupor. That, Garraty knew, would serve to be the straw that broke the camel’s back. He couldn’t lose McVries too, not after everything they had been through.
Ray sighed in relief when his eyes landed on McVries, a little ways behind them, weaving along as if he was seconds from giving in. Garraty’s heart ached for the other teen and he slowly fell back to match pace with his friend.
“McVries”
Silence. McVries eyes were downcast, his gaze focused on his feet stumbling along. He didn’t even appear to be aware that Ray was beside him.
“Hey Pete?” Garraty placed a hand on McVries’ shoulder resulting in him stumbling and out on the halftrack a soldier muttered a warning. Garraty paused, regret flooding him. All he seemed to cause for the poor guy was trouble.
“Garraty?”
“Yeah, It’s me”
The two lapsed into silence and Garraty found himself genuinely worried that he was about to witness another death. “You don’t look too good”
“What gave it away? My glowing complexion or my stunning smile?”McVries asked with a weak huff that Garraty guessed was supposed to be a laugh. “I’m not going to last much longer”
“Just walk a little longer” The familiar words tasted bitter on his tongue and he found himself wanting to vomit.
“Why? So I can eventually collapse and get my ticket without knowing any better? I told you at the start of this that I wanted to do this on my own terms. I’m not bowing out as some unconscious bastard as they shoot me to high hell and back” McVries’ tone was bitter and his face contorted into a small glare before somehow morphing into frighteningly serene smile. “Besides, Garraty my boy, once I’m gone all you’ll have left is to take down Stebbins.”
“Don’t talk like that”
“Why not? I won’t win. I knew I wouldn’t win from the get go, and I walked anyway. You have to win this, you still have everything ahead of you.”
Garraty huffed, raising his head to glare wildly at McVries, “And you don’t?! You always preach about how I’m going to win this and that I have to and you just treat yourself like you have nothing going for you. All of this is just suicide attempt because you want to end your life before it’s even began! I don’t care about how you see yourself, because as far as I can see you’re worth far more than you could ever see” Garraty closed his eyes, turning his head away from McVries. “If winning this means that I have to do it without you then I’d rather die right where I stand”
“Ra-”
“No, listen. You’ve given so much for me, nearly sacrificing yourself to get me going again when I deserved to die. You saved me when you could have just as easily let me die. Why? Why couldn’t you have just let me die?”
McVries face hardened and his aimed his head forward. “You know why, surely you’re not that stupid”
“No Pete, I don’t think I do”
Garraty studied the other boy’s face, his eyes scanning for some trace of...well anything. McVries’ face was completely unreadable. A blank mask that allowed no hint of his thoughts or emotions to slip through. “Because I love you, you jack ass” He grumbled almost silently
“I love you and I know that I can’t have you. I knew that it was a bad idea to get attached because in the end I knew I would lose you, but damn it I fell for you anyway. I fell for every smile, every laugh, every damn little thing you do. You made me believe that maybe things wouldn’t be as bad as I thought but it was too late. We were already playing this deadly game and no matter how much I loved you I knew nothing would change the fact that one of us is going to die. We’re going to die and disappear and be forgotten, that’s just how this plays out.”
“I saved you because you have so much value in this world. You have your mom and Jan to go back to. You have a life to live and in the end I’ll die and you’ll forget about me and move on to marry Jan and have that perfect family. You’ll forget about me but I could never forget about you. You’d be with me everyday of my life. I’d see you and everything we could have had and to be completely honest with you Ray, I would rather die than go through that. I can’t stand the thought of you dying while I go on as if somehow I’m just that much deserving of life than you are”
Garraty was silent while he tried to process McVries’ confession. The more he thought the angrier he became. What? Pete just thought he could give up and expect him to not care? That he would just see him as some other poor bastard that earned a ticket then turn around and just keep walking like it was nothing? You think I care that little about you that I could just completely forget about losing you” Garraty growled out his reply and reached out to grip McVries’ shoulder and forcibly turn him to look at him. “I don’t give a damn what you think about yourself but I’m not going to just lose you like that! I- I fucking love you too Pete! I’ll kill myself before I go on one fucking day without you, I can’t just forget about you like you were nothing…”
For a few beats the boys walked in silence. There was nothing but the sound of shuffling footsteps to fill the air and Ray’s mind was working a mile a minute. Had he scared McVries? Had he gone too far? Of course McVries had confessed his own feelings first but maybe this would be the last thing to push him over the edge. He would be the one thing to do McVries in for good and that thought scared him more than anything.
“I can’t go on much longer Garraty”McVries repeated quietly
“It’s okay Pete”Garraty murmured
“I think it’s time to sit down”
“Okay”
Another warning was issued as McVries began to make his way towards the sidelines. The last of his strength was dedicated to sitting-more like collapsing into the dirt besides the crowds. He expected the soldiers to hop down from the half tracks but what he wasn’t expecting was to turn around to see Garraty following right after him. “You can’t do this”
“Why not?”Ray asked simply with a tilt to his head. He rested his hands on his knees, god did it feel great to sit down. “I’m not going to argue with you on this. We either keep going together or we go out together. I’m not losing you to this walk too”
“You’re sacrificing everything for some nobody like me”McVries muttered weakly
Ray shrugged wordlessly, scooting closer to Pete as the soldiers converged on them. Their rifles were raised to aim at them and he found himself thinking that this sight should have terrified him. He should be sobbing and begging for his life but for some reason he felt calm. Deep down he knew it was because Pete McVries was by his side and he refused to leave his side.
The Maine native reached out his arm to wrap around McVries, burying his head in his shoulder. “Wherever we go, I won’t let you go alone”
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I just finished The Long Walk by Stephen King and I’m genuinely considering writing a fan fiction for it...I’m gonna
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