woodenducksworld

[woodenducksworld]

Wish I could handle doing hallucinogenic s or wow man I’d be high all the friggin time watching the fuzzy feelings actually really look fuzzy and feel fuzzy too and waves crashing against some weird doorway and when I open it up with my fuzzy fingers all I can see is a fuzzy universe with floating chunks of pineapple and I gobble them up like the Cookie Monster gobbles up his cookies mmmmmyummy!

[woodenducksworld]

It’s my life//:; so let me livitt fool. I hear my boy upstairs watching his tv and laughing and getting excited about his scary shows he watches ! So friggin cute

[woodenducksworld]

Time for bed .. finally. Fuck my self and leave me alone already!!##back to duckworld##these just my nighttime meds, along with some black velvet , not Evan Williams,.. black label##

Fuck I don’t even drink but I got some clearly I’m fucking batshit kinda kraykray! ###

[woodenducksworld]

[woodenducksworld]

If I choose to be sad and frustrated about not knowing where I went wrong with him and I, it would simply just consume my entire life and I will fail at everything that I’m trying to accomplish for myself today. I had to get a fkng burner number just to get through the firewall of the traphouse queen B traphouse whore herself that he stuck his duck into without even doing me the honest way and not tryna lie about it and hesitating when I’m asking are you fucking get it what? Do you love her? When you get caught not if don’t get confused but when you get caught and get arrested for obscounding from your po and when not if you go back to prison I’ve waited out two sets for him fourteen months and eighteen months day for fucking day will she supply you with your phone call money or your commissary money and do everything you tell her to do for you ? Will she wait you out while still being the traphouse queen B traphouse whore? I think not. She’s gonna jump up in the very next duck that’s gonna fall for all her stupid lies . I wonder how many calls we have been on where you are telling me that you love me and miss me so much as your using this bitches cellphone and watching her with you’re eyes wide open and not taking them away the whole time you’re thinking I’m gonna fuck that bitch. Its just disgusting and he can have it he’s foul and on foul. Fuck that little punk ass white boy abd fuck him for making me wait three years for fkn NOTHING FUCK I WANNA SCREAM AND GO GDAMN SAVAGE RIGHT NOW!!

[woodenducksworld]

What a great thanksgiving!! Tonight I am listening to the music and getting my mind somehow to find a deep spot in its ness and just FUCKING DIVE!! He called me last night in the middle of the night to ask me if I had a good day and that he loves me and misses me and is thinking of me all the time just wanted to call to tell you I loved you? I was asleep and not feeling good and so he’d call me soon and it all took less that sixty seconds! I may have dreamed all of that but I’m choosing to not think that way about it ya know yeah!! He didn’t call me today hasn’t left my mind and I want to stop the thoughts of you as mine remembering all the good times and good fun and laughs we shared. PlEAS JUST CALL ME TIMOTHY?!!!

[woodenducksworld]

I just wish he’d fkng call me again.. he called but I was busy with my son just then and I asked him to call me later he said around an hour and it’s been about six hours now. I feel pathetic and miserable and I don’t care if it sounds corny or dumb. I just cant release myself from his hold and I don’t want to but he’s making it so much harder for me to just catch a few minutes to hear his voice. When he calls he sounds as though he is only going through the motions and the way he sounds when he tells me he loves me sounds so plain and dull and i alive like he sounded before we weren’t apart but warm full and filled with genuine love but it’s not like that anymore . He takes himself away and keeps hisself from me and ignores my calls and texts and I can’t focus on anything else but wanting to be wherever he is right now i dont even care if I’m chasing a shadow in the night I would run till my feet fell of just to lay down next to him one more time. I fkng miss you baby so much it is like I’m drowning and don’t know how to swim anymore.

[woodenducksworld]

I am still so sick with the kind of sickness only love can make someone feel… or not feel..

I have been crying over him for literally days and today I finally erase all the phone numbers that I was able to reach him at( we live in different towns and he is homeless right now as am I only I have somewhere I can go he does too but we are both still homeless) and even erased his family’s phone numbers as well and just when I think that I can do this , what are the odds that right as they are gone from my phone that his mom messages me and now I’m crying again and hopeful that if she tells him that I love him and want him to please call me again that I miss him and need him with her number. I cant stand the way the universe is telling me one thing and the heart tells me another and so my mind must also chime in with its two cents as I claim to know myself my mind just throws everything together and jumbled my whole life again! Fuck me I mean wtf can I do to stay out of that place because I already know better that it lies and lies so well that I believe all the love will bring him back to me. SO FUCKING TIRED OF LIVE HURTING AND NOT FEELING GOOD THAT I MIGHT JUST LET IT GO!

[woodenducksworld]

In my situation right now I am at a loss for words but this is the daily word that makes no sense whatsoever

[woodenducksworld]

I don’t know exactly what color I am. Nothing seemed to match my fccn mood right now. I want my love back I have it all to you and then I tattooed your fuckung name right on my face to blast to the world that I was proud to be your woman . What am I supposed to do with that huh? Am I even breaking to a point or to a very flat and sharp pair of scissors to snip away all the dead ends of my fkd up situatiin awwww fuck me please somebody just talk to me at least let me know I am not in here bouncing around all on my own again fkn!

[woodenducksworld]

Nobody…? Nobody has anything to fuccng say? Damn it Jim.. are we all just a pipe dream and this is our pretty pussys juiced up self made perfect kind of BITCH!!!

[woodenducksworld]

Cant help but to lay in this bed alone and feel so emptied and void of all i consist of that was you. I had such super high hopes that we’d be together forever with it being us against the world but baby that was all you. I was nothing before you and will be nothing without you too. It isn’t always so easy to ignore all the red flags I have flown with you and i, no matter who flew it I still have yet to remain against the whole solid graine scraping myself back up after being torn to shreds.. I’m sure you would say the same but I perfectly feel a brand new kind of pain arising from these burnt out ashes that can still be seen like glass paper swirling out in the invisible threads i weave of my life. Fuccc when did I become so miserable? I’m looking at this all wrong I deserved to be treated better than a little wanna b smoked out gangster type baby.. though it was a good run of it we both have resurfaced our bloody past out into the pinkest cloud in the universe. The kind only my God can create . I love you still it hurts to Peel back my soaking wet skin fresh with a lashing and scathe whipped bare vack. Take my life all of it if you should need but God don’t let me ever get back to that life of serendipity

[woodenducksworld]

Hey I have found myself having a mid life crisis:/ it makes it hard to not think blindly and act wild with it though. I have run off the best guy in the world after all is said and done I guess I feel everything with feeling nothing at all but it’s a double edged sword that could come unsprung and cut my own throat with its bladed edge. Scathe the unscathed. I feel like I want to just vomit all of the beautiful things you said to me from your prison cell and pencil and paper and telephone calls with answers ready to please. I don’t see the ending to my fairytale yet but wish it wasn’t even a fairytale. Come swoop me up off my knees and put me over your shoulder and carry me back to the da we laid our eyes on each other it was the best I’d felt ever and couldn’t help to smile back at you as you looked up at me and smiled at me first with your devilish little come on you want some of this eyes damn we were o sexy together and I’ll miss you painted and posted up in me forever feeking I still want it I still want to feel like I was your girl still and you loved me to love you but when you’re done you’re done I spose I should count myself lucky to have not thrown myself in front of a fucking bus and splat across the hood and windshield and scaring the rest of the passengers uhh:/

[woodenducksworld]

50 likes!

Yahoo!!