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You may not rest now, your mouth is too dry.

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Had a dream the chocolate guy came out as transfem by making a giant flag cake with a flagpole made of chocolate and hard sugar and everyone changed their captions on their posts to she/her like. "SHES BACK" and "WE CANT KEEP LETTING HER GET AWAY WITH THIS" and it was awesome

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Becoming irrationally thirsty when there's a boiled water warning for half my town and I have to go to my sisters house 3 minutes away for water

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the france is bacon story lives in my head rent-free

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ya being kafkaesque isn’t about turning into a bug it’s about how if you turned into a bug your boss would still be like “ok but we’re short staffed can u still come in”

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i dont consider myself a 'fashion guru' by any means but one thing i will say is guys you dont need to know the specific brand an item you like is - you need to know what the item is called. very rarely does a brand matter, but knowing that pair of pants is called 'cargo' vs 'boot cut' or the names of dress styles is going to help you find clothes you like WAAAYYYY faster than brand shopping

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My craving for shortcake has manifested to irresistible levels probably because period reasons and I announced I wanted it to my beloved. I then was super sad I hadn’t saved the recipe I used for my FIL’s cake this summer, but it turns out yapping at tumblr all the time served me well because someone asked for the recipe so it was chronicled I saved it this time. I know better than to trust tumblr long term.

We’re gonna cut up the precious peaches and eat it with peaches and cream and I am v excited.

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some wonderful creamthing fanart

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Does anyone know that guy that posted everyday and said that days date and "it's gonna be a good day today" and that's literally it.

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Wet Beast Rotation

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Walter Hunt (British, 1861-1941)

Calf and chickens and Dog in the manger.

signed 'W.HUNT.' (lower right); further signed, dedicated and dated 'XMAS.1911./

To Mr & Mrs Maurice Davis/Best Wishes From W.HUNT' (on the reverse)

oil on canvas

Bonhams

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SON MISTAKE: In teaching my cat son boy the command "out"- intended to mean, "emerge from the enclosed space"- I have unwittingly trained him to understand that if I open a box, cupboard, cabinet, or fridge in his presence, he need only rush inside and stay there, firmly planted with his wide wet baby eyes, and he will surely be granted the opportunity to earn a delightful little treat

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Activation Code

n00b, roflcopter, RAWR, XD, Tacos, epic pwn, so random, owned, swag, candy mountain charlie, salad fingers, smosh, smexy teh feels, homies, me gusta, my peeps, like whatevs, sketchy, that moment when, Le derp, winning, epic win, oh noes, XP, llamas, cheese, ermagherd, biatch, get served, chillax, I don't always but when I do, clapback, snapback, raccoon tails, YOLO, hair straightener, uggs, converse, twilight, hair straightener, jeggings, hipster glasses, snookie, Ke$ha, 3OH!3, Pitbull, Justin Bieber, David Guetta, do the Harlem Shake