wonkerbonker

[wonkerbonker]

Pick a spell from the spell drawer! (number 1-10

1: All the smells in your home become unfamiliar to you. You can never get used to them.

2: whenever you sustain an injury, yelling "OWWWW!!!!" or other similar sounds will drastically reduce the pain and harm sustained. minor scrapes and bumps will be fully healed if you yell loud enough.

3: One thing you despise will now be enjoyable to you.

4: ...i think my familiar drank the spell in this section.

5: You get this cool familiar. there is no spell. please take it.

6: You can summon whatever lawyer you want in the world.

7: you're now perfect at eating. What this means, I do not know.

8: ...i think it drank another spell. whatever, fireball

9: CHOOSE whatever spell you want from this list. If you dont wanna, you get two coupons for one meal from any restaurant, no matter how expensive. Yes, you can order the whole menu.

10: okay, I'm not that great a witch. I don't even have that many spells, okay? just like... I dunno, come back later? go get your own spells, dork

[wonkerbonker]

How far into the past do you have to go to guarantee victory for yourself present

[wonkerbonker]

I have been informed this is not original content. thank ryan for making the joke unfunny

Can't wait til im either a robots or a women

[wonkerbonker]

Can't wait til im either a robots or a women

[wonkerbonker]

now what about majora’s femme

[wonkerbonker]

[wonkerbonker]

this website is a parody of itself you will come across someone with the url "boop-le-snoot" and their pinned post will be like "i support the death penalty"

[wonkerbonker]

good morning, you can learn a lot of things about our world from simply playing the video game mine craft! venture out into the un known

[wonkerbonker]

tipping

[wonkerbonker]

Good rule there's venice

[wonkerbonker]

I think if you put someone from 2005 onto a website from 2025 without the slow creep we've lived through, they'd think they had malware

[wonkerbonker]

I gotta get back into the school system

[wonkerbonker]

Your daily dose of cat memes

[wonkerbonker]

it's important to have bits that aren't good and also nobody likes and also aren't funny

[wonkerbonker]

As for you, you meant evil against me, but you underestimated my ability to wage war and merrily 

[wonkerbonker]

[wonkerbonker]

people always try to play the "but you're a lesbian" card whenever i say odd shit about men and i think that's because people are too cowardly to accept the truth: these are pure, objective observations. i don't have a leg in this race. when i say Gene Wilder has a kind of evil warlock's raw sexual charisma in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory you can't write me off as being too horny. because i'm literally not. i'm making a statement of fact here. and you'll just have to cope with it.