wolfiewhiskeybutch

[wolfiewhiskeybutch]

amazing what washing your hair (and putting on a jumpsuit with a fun neckline) can do for your mental health

seriously i can't bend over very far without popping out, good thing both my partners like an easy-access housewife 😁

[wolfiewhiskeybutch]

So, okay, fun fact. When I was a freshman in high school… let me preface by saying my dad sent me to a private school and, like a bad organ transplant, it didn’t take. I was miserable, the student body hated me, I hated them, it was awful.

Okay, so, freshman year, I’m deep in my “everything sucks and I’m stuck with these assholes” mentality. My English teacher was a notorious hard-ass, let’s call him Mr. Hargrove. He was the guy every student prayed they didn’t get. And, on top of ALL OF THE SHIT I WAS ALREADY DEALING WITH, I had him for English.

One of the laborious assignments he gave us was to keep a daily journal. Daily! Not monthly or weekly. Fucking daily. Handwritten. And we had to turn it in every quarter and he fucking graded us. He graded us on a fucking journal.

All of my classmates wrote shit like what they did that day or whatever. But, I did not. No, sir. I decided to give the ol’ middle finger to the assignment and do my own shit.

So, for my daily journal entries, over the course of an entire year, I wrote a serialized story about a horde of man-eating slugs that invaded a small mining town. It was graphic, it was ridiculous, it was an epic feat of rebellion.

And Mr. Hargrove loved it.

It wasn’t just the journal. Every assignment he gave us, I tried to shit all over it. Every reading assignment, everyone gushed about how good it was, but I always had a negative take. Every writing assignment, people wrote boring prose, but I wrote cheesy limericks or pulp horror stories.

Then, one day, he read one of my essays to the class as an example of good writing. When a fellow student asked who wrote it, he said, “Some pipsqueak.”

And that’s when I had a revelation. He wanted to fight. And since all the other students were trying to kiss his ass, I was his only challenger.

Mr. Hargrove and I went head-to-head on every assignment, every conversation, every fucking thing. And he ate it up. And so did I.

One day, he read us a column from the Washington Post and asked the class what was wrong with it. Everyone chimed in with their dumbass takes, but I was the one who landed on Mr. Hargrove’s complaint: The reporter had BRAZENLY added the suffix “ize” to a verb.

That night I wrote a jokey letter to the reporter calling him out on the offense in which I added “ize” to every single verb. I gave it to Mr. Hargrove, who by then had become a friendly adversary, for a chuckle and he SENT IT TO THE REPORTER.

And, people… The reporter wrote back. And he said I was an exceptional student. Mr. Hargrove and I had a giggle about that because we both knew I was just being an asshole, but he and the reporter acknowledged I had a point.

And that was it. That was the moment. Not THAT EXACT moment, but that year with Mr. Hargrove taught me I had a knack for writing. And that knack was based in saying “fuck you” to authority. (The irony that someone in a position of authority helped me realize that is not lost on me.)

So, I can say without qualification that Mr. Hargrove is the reason I am now a professional writer. Yes, I do it for a living. And most of my stuff takes authorities of one kind or another to task.

Mr. Hargrove showed me my dissent was valid, my rebellion was righteous, and that killer slugs could bring a city to its knees. Someone just needs to write it.

[wolfiewhiskeybutch]

it's little black dress sunday because i said so

[wolfiewhiskeybutch]

it just feels good, and that's no sin

[wolfiewhiskeybutch]

when she got that golden hour booty

[wolfiewhiskeybutch]

Wolfie bulge, ready for someone to grind against until I get too feral and need to mount them 🐺🍆😏 They/Them

ft. wolfie tiddies

ok2rb

cis het men and minors dni

[wolfiewhiskeybutch]

Cozy nerd night tonight! Swatched my new blues, am getting ready to make soup, and the thunder is starting to roll in! 😍

[wolfiewhiskeybutch]

Soulful Osa by X

[wolfiewhiskeybutch]

Mutuals aren’t for talking to they’re for admiring from afar with a lustful gaze like a dog with a plate of food they can’t quite reach

[wolfiewhiskeybutch]

if anyone was wondering, i am in fact one of those predatory dykes you've been warned about 😇

[wolfiewhiskeybutch]

more tuesday tummyposting because attention makes my neck pain go away

[wolfiewhiskeybutch]

Mutuals are a lot like cats in that you kinda have to harmlessly pester and annoy them sometimes

[wolfiewhiskeybutch]

day 180! happy pride day!

[wolfiewhiskeybutch]

the act of sheepishly approaching a friend about a weird fetish only for them to go "oh word? check this out" while they dump their hard drive of insane niche porn in the DMs has the same energy as a marriage proposal

[wolfiewhiskeybutch]

#badsciencejokes — view on Instagram https://ift.tt/2LIdP66

[wolfiewhiskeybutch]

Its me, your feral godmother

[wolfiewhiskeybutch]

a vampire stroking ur hair as they're fangs deep in ur neck. u agree