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I am here for Ted Cruz’s college roommate constantly dragging him on Twitter.

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Today, I fucked up... and made a fool of myself like never before

This morning I was in the elevator of my building and I made a serious fool of myself.

I got in the elevator and at the same time entered a very hefty and shady man with a bulldog. He seriously looked like a killer, 6'3 at least, all dressed up in black, shaved head and tattoos … A little bit stressed out, I obey instantly and jump on the floor when he tells me curtly: “ Sit down ”.

He was speaking to his dog and laughed his ass off during the ten remaining floors.

It was probably one of the most embarrassing moments of my entire life!

Check out more TIFUs: Internet`s best fuck ups are here.

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judge in court: everything u say will be held against u me: boobs jury: haha lawyer: haha judge: haha case dismissed

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I ship myself with academic success and contentment

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wildest place you've had sex?

In my head

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where i see myself in 10 years 

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someone please explain to me what the fuck i just witnessed