wizarddemigodhunterhero

[wizarddemigodhunterhero]

started calling my executive dysfunction issues my board of dysfunctional executives and treating it like a room of frail old white men and it hasn't fixed everything but it sure is fucking funny

[wizarddemigodhunterhero]

mushroom chat just dropped

[wizarddemigodhunterhero]

brb trying this

[wizarddemigodhunterhero]

[wizarddemigodhunterhero]

so my sister's dog is named communist gun, but we call him red. right? and every once in a while when she wants him to jump on someone she goes "red scare!" and recently ive been trying to get him to jump on people when i go "mccarthyism!" but it's not working yet

[wizarddemigodhunterhero]

❄️In from the cold❄️

[wizarddemigodhunterhero]

where's that masterpost of quotes that have no right going as hard as they do. I'd like to submit "Protagonism is best left to teens and the insane"

[wizarddemigodhunterhero]

Jeremy Knox is an English major. He shows up at the airport to pick up a new team member in a bright red sweatshirt and golden shorts, with a yo-yo and wired earbuds. “A little honesty? That’s just a mite bit hecked up,” he tells this new team member. He’s captain of the second-best Exy team, and second only to a college run by the mob. He dyes his hair blond, then relaxes enough to let his roots grow out. He’s adopted a cardboard golden retriever, now a de facto member of the household. He likes ceramics class. When he takes his new housemate shopping, he’ll be damned if he puts him in black and red, but if that’s what he feels safest in, Jeremy would back his decision wholeheartedly.

Jeremy Knox is an English major. “Speaking of playing around,” he says, fishing out a board game—“shall we see what kind of trouble we can get into?”

[wizarddemigodhunterhero]

“This is what Shakespeare would have wanted.”

“Shakespeare wouldn’t have wanted this.”

No! You’re both wrong! Shakespeare wanted one thing and one thing only. To sell tickets.

[wizarddemigodhunterhero]

nothing sexier than that picture with the italian players on top of eachother after the win and the english ones going through the 5 stages of grief in the back

[wizarddemigodhunterhero]

since you guys seemed to like the first one…

aftg headcanons that are so real to me i forget they aren’t canon (pt. 2):

dan wearing high-waisted leggings with mesh cutouts 24/7

allison being tan with a lot of freckles (face, shoulders, etc) that she used to hate but now she’s learning to love them

twinyards having a splash of freckles across their noses

renee loving layered clothing looks

nicky loving those crocs with the little charms

allison and dan being gold jewelry girlies

renee being a silver jewelry girlie

matt’s two favorite colors being blue and orange (cuz of his truck and the foxes)

katelyn wearing a ton of pastel green and white (it’s basically her signature color combo)

neil sometimes helping aaron with his math homework but only in the most antagonizing ways possible (aaron is very grateful but he’ll never admit it)

neil and andrew randomly quizzing each other on russian vocabulary when they’re bored

allison getting kevin into skincare

andrew comforting aaron (in his own andrew way) after aaron’s first time meeting katelyn’s parents goes horribly wrong (aaron doesn’t realize andrew was trying to be there for him until after the fact; he thought andrew just wanted to rub salt in the wound)

aaron going “gross” in the most monotone voice whenever he sees neil and andrew within three feet of each another (so, constantly. it’s how pretty much all of his interactions with andreil start. it’s basically a greeting at this point)

aaron getting pissy and begging neil and andrew to “just get a room already” whenever they start “fighting” (flirting) in front of him

andrew and matt bonding over being car guys but neither will admit that they’re bonding or that they like cars

nicky referring to neil and andrew as his “gay relatives” as if he himself isn’t gay

neil and andrew making it a tradition to get kevin the weirdest possible birthday/holiday gifts they can find (they try to outdo each other)

kevin giving the foxes autographed pictures of himself for every birthday/holiday (andrew likes to see what they’re selling for but he and neil never actually part with them)

wymack owning at least twelve “#1 dad” mugs

giving andreil matching t-shirts being a running joke among the foxes (think “i’m with stupid” “i’m stupid” and “if lost return to andrew” “i’m andrew”)

katelyn being tall asf and pear-shaped

aaron freaking out one day and confronting neil like “are you attracted to me?? be honest” and neil’s beyond confused (“no?? why would you think that???” “you’re dating my identical twin.” “what does that have to do with anything?”)

[wizarddemigodhunterhero]

yall the comedy wildlife photography results are coming out atm and

look

LOOK AT THIS LIL MAN

THANK YOU BRIAN MATTHEWS HOLY SHIT HES GOT SUCH A CASE OF THE MONDAYS

[wizarddemigodhunterhero]

My bearded dragon is fascinated by the falling snow outside. He keeps going to the window to stare at it. He woke up from brumating to look at the snow.

He’s a desert species smh what does he want to do with snow...

[wizarddemigodhunterhero]

a dream i had

[wizarddemigodhunterhero]

[wizarddemigodhunterhero]

Like what gives Arizona the freaking right to look like this at sunset

[wizarddemigodhunterhero]

tumblr discourse after 13 years on this fucking website