wizard-of-the-forest

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@princesscat01 @wholesome-dragon-lady @phoebe-the-autism-fairy

Fuck you, City of Ur!

If you're dumb enough to buy a cartload of copper this weekend, you're a big enough schmuck to come to Ea-Nasir's Imported Metals!

Bad deals! Low grade copper! Thieves!

If you think you're gonna find a bargain at Ea-Nasir's, you can kiss my ass!

It's our belief that you're such a stupid motherfucker you'll fall for this bullshit! Guaranteed!

If you find a better deal, shove it up your ugly ass! You heard us right, shove it up your ugly ass!

Bring your deposit, bring your sealed tablet, bring your messenger! We'll send him back!

That's right, we'll send your messenger back through enemy territory!Because at Ea-Nasir's, you're fucked six ways from Sunday!

Take a hike to Ea-Nasir's, home of challenge pissing! That's right, challenge pissing!

How does it work? If you can piss six feet in the air straight up and not get wet, you get no down payment!

Don't wait, don't delay, don't fuck with us, or we'll turn you into a eunuch!

Only at Ea-Nasir's, the only merchant that tells you to fuck off!

Hurry up, asshole! This event ends the minute after you make a donation to the palace, and it better not bounce or you're a dead motherfucker!

Go to hell! Ea-Nasir's Metals: Sumer's filthiest, and exclusive home of the meanest sons of bitches in Mesopotamia! Guaranteed!

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in a medieval groupchat nobody would make fun of your typo they would just assume that its a new spelling youre going with and roll with it

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which day of the week were you born on?

monday

tuesday

wednesday

thursday

friday

saturday

sunday

I added a helpful link if you don't already know - H :)

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Got bitten by a radioactive dinner and now I've got supper powers

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I curious- Who's ur confirmation saint? Mine's St Juan Diego :D

Saint Raphael the Archangle :)

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@wholesome-dragon-lady @princesscat01

some people like winnie the pooh and donald duck can get away with just having a shirt and no trousers and still be widely beloved instead of the laughing stock of the british public. but when i, julian fawcett–

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wednesday night mood

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It's come to my attention that some people have been reading a certain scene in Heavenly Tyrant in a way I did not intend, and it's causing me so much distress that I am formally issuing a correction to the book in the form of a set of clarifying lines.

If you own a printed copy of Heavenly Tyrant right now, please take a pen and add the following lines to the top of page 434: [We can sculpt anything out of spirit metal. I could even FEEL through it. We can make this work.]

If you haven't read to that point yet, you can cover the text with a piece of paper to avoid spoilers while flipping through the book. The page is on the lefthand side.

Hopefully this scene will now read without ambiguity. I am campaigning to get the lines added in the ebook and future physical printings, including the translated editions. I've already confirmed that the Italian version (which has incredible translation work by Paolo Maria Bonora, btw) will have them in.

Thank you, everyone, and sorry for the trouble! I really thought it was plenty obvious that he was about to get pegged.

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Introducing the Zetian vs Qin Zheng parallel playlists! (It will NEVER be Zetian x Qin Zheng lmao).

This came as a result of me realizing how many songs in my regular HT playlist mirrored each other, and so I had to quarantine these two to have their dedicated music duel. Basically each song is a call or response to the one in its parallel position, and the combined playlist is meant to sound like one long argument. Every song in the QZ playlist is sung by a male singer and every song in the Zetian playlist is sung by a non-male.

It was fun to try and capture their dynamic of like...circling each other boasting about how the other wouldn't be able to handle them and then whoops they indeed cannot handle each other and the closer they get the more they destroy each other. Like the description says, they are two power-obsessed freaks who resort to very questionable means of manipulating and one-upping each other. This is what I imagine they'd sing to each other in a musical.

Combined Playlist

Zetian Songs Only

QZ Songs Only

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I just got described as an "ad hating commie" by someone because I said a minute of youtube ads is unpleasant. fully spent 5 minutes arguing and defending youtube ads. insane stuff

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Has anyone done this yet

(Also ik Jodie Whittaker is 5'6 but it's the thought that counts)

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forever grateful for actors who look at their scene partner's mouth when they talk. they're really those little hand hold supports on the indoor rock climb that is fanon shipping

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My husband accidentally left his stash of Celsius at my parents house, and my nonverbal autistic brother who has literally zero access to caffeine other then the occasion Pepsi found one and chugged it.

Needless to say my husband is now overnight shipping an apology basket to my mom because nobody in that house slept last night.

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grief is so crazy like what if i forget what her laugh sounds like. does she know i loved her. i miss her so much. i catch myself doing things she used to do. i wish i could call her. i miss her so much. i do a crossword puzzle. i cry while washing the dishes. does she know i loved her? my heart feels like a hummingbird. i miss her so much. what if i forget what her laugh sounds like. what if i forget.

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I love it when you can immediately tell that someone is going to be a Character Of All Time.

Four episodes in and Cecil Gershwin Palmer has already:

Ranted at length on live radio about his intense crush on a well-coiffed scientist.

Doxxed said scientist’s hairdresser for cutting his hair too short, again on live radio.

Hailed the Glow Cloud.

Aggressively dissed a rival high school sports team.

Revealed that he is battling Lyme disease.

Told the listener to “vote correctly or never see your loved ones again.”

Hidden under his desk in the fetal position to avoid the terrifying eldritch beings he works for.

Adopted a levitating cat.

(Edited to fix the name - I was too quick to assume another Jonathan Sims situation.)

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