witzmaennchen

[witzmaennchen]

just learned today that there was a german monk who was obsessed with witches and women having sex so he wrote an entire book called the hammer of witches where in one part he describes in detail that witches have the ability to make people’s penises disappear and they keep the penises as pets and feed them oats

[witzmaennchen]

Explain yourself.

[witzmaennchen]

do you want to see the best trail cam photo ever

[witzmaennchen]

fuuuuuck i have needs and wants and desires :( sadly they needto put me at the bottom of a deep as fuck hole and pour cement over me because of this

[witzmaennchen]

Writing high fantasy is harder for me than it used to be because I'll write "The door swung open" and I'll imagine some tumblr user with three different grad degrees in medieval history dunking on me with a 2,000-word post about how door hinges weren't invented until 1956 and before that they'd just smash them open with axes and rebuild them each time.

[witzmaennchen]

look at this sign at my local monastery

[witzmaennchen]

[witzmaennchen]

Sometimes I see some variety of North American Little Guy (opossum, raccoon, etc. ) and I’m like “okay”

BUT THEN I start thinking about how excited somebody from not-North-America would be to see this Guy. Like, would an Australian be excited to see the only marsupial not from their country? Are there raccoons in zoos on the other side of the world that are regarded as unique and exotic creatures? Idk but it’s made me more excited to see Guys in my area.

[witzmaennchen]

[witzmaennchen]

[witzmaennchen]

we must stop this madness. what does he need three apples for

[witzmaennchen]

Reenactor throws a spear at a drone

[witzmaennchen]

oh your pillow isn’t comfortable? may I present to you, My Thighs™️

[witzmaennchen]

[witzmaennchen]

[witzmaennchen]

A fawn curled up beside a fake deer which is used for target practice. 

[witzmaennchen]

not to enforce gender roles but a computer should NOT fucking have apps okay. if I wanted an app I'd go on my phone my laptop is for Programs. I mean this.