wintergirl86

[wintergirl86]

I totally get being upset over your ship not getting the endgame. The universe knows I've been there lots of times and it's no fun, lol. But to reduce a whole, complex show with well-handled subject matters so important such as grief (and different coping mechanisms), friendship, teenage insecurities, family and coming-of-age processes to such a small thing is kinda sad, unfair, and frankly a bit pathetic.

Degrading and trashing a good show just because its writers didn't make your romantic fantasy canon is on another level of childish. It's fiction guys, grow up a little and move on.

[wintergirl86]

Breaking my silence: as a benvi, I can't deny Paxton was a good boyfriend and an amazing one under highschool standards but Devi doesn't ending up with him isn't about how good or sweet he is or because he isn't good for her, is about her agency, is about who she wants. Is not about deserving. Well, in a way, it is.Paxton deserves as someone says in s2, someone who is all in

[wintergirl86]

It's so much fun watching Benvi scenes from earlier seasons with knowledge of how their endgame plays out. For example, when I watched that scene in 2 x 05, when Ben comes over and helps Devi when she has a cramp even though he is definitely not over the two-timing situation (as evidenced by what happened earlier in that episode), my mind suddenly flashed forward to him telling her he loves her in 4 x 10. It's so funny how your brain can randomly create fan edits of its own accord.

[wintergirl86]

I don’t mean to sound mean (heh), but I think the people that say that about Devi and Ben’s first time (that it’s a bad thing it was mediocre) don’t know much about first times or they don’t want to see it objectively for the sake of their bias. It was perfectly portrayed in the show, just how it is in real life.

I saw some fic that had Paxton wanting to give Devi a better sexual experience after learning about how bad her first time with Ben was. This is hilarious for two reasons:

A) It makes Paxton look really bad. He would never act that entitled about how it should have been him instead of Ben. He's too sweet.

B) The whole attempt to frame Ben and Devi's first time being mediocre, as a bad thing is ridiculous! It was the sweetest thing in the world that neither of them cared at all about how bad it was. They were only worried about the other person not liking it. They were both so clearly excited to be with each other, and it was only their insecurities that got in the way. It was actually better than if their first time had been perfect - much cuter and more realistic.

[wintergirl86]

I mean I somehow get it, they’re teens and of course they’re gonna do stupid things. I like their friend group, but there’s a reason why neither Eleanor nor Fabiola are among my favorite characters, as individuals. Trent comes first than them to me, lol.

It's kind of weird how Fabiola and Eleanor never got called out for most of the awful stuff they did. I mean they totally encouraged some of the worst things Devi did. They helped her two-time Ben and Paxton. And Eleanor was basically the one who gave her the idea to use the marching band for her apology to Aneesa, and Fabiola was an enthusiastic participant. I get why Fabiola called Aneesa the best person she knew, in season 3. Aneesa is the nicest out of all the "kid" characters, in my opinion. But I honestly don't think Fabiola is the best person Aneesa knows. But I guess it makes sense that Aneesa would feel that way, because her more recent memories were of Fabiola standing up to Ben, for her.

[wintergirl86]

Never Have I Ever Said Goodbye (4x10): all smiles and anticipation

The vibe here was very much that of a newly married couple getting to their marital bed for the first time, minus Ben carrying Devi over the threshold (which, for the record, Ben would have effortlessly accomplished if he had wanted/she had asked him to).

[wintergirl86]

Roll the tape: Hungry for her

 “It’s almost as if they’re doing this dance, saying like, ‘Are you sure? This is what you want to do?’ And she’s like, ‘I don’t know, what do you think?’ And then Ben’s sort of like, ‘Come here’...” — Jaren Lewison

Both times, you could see Ben’s hunger for Devi in his eyes. Their second time, though, he was so desperate to be with her again that he didn’t even wait for her to close the distance between them. He literally ran toward her. And she just melted into him.

[wintergirl86]

Never Really Over by Katy Perry is such a good song for Benvi! I'm just posting some scenes that reminded me of certain lines from the song. There are definitely more. Sadly, there is a 10-image-per-post limit.

I'm losing my self control

Yeah, you're starting to trickle back in

But I don't wanna fall down the rabbit hole

Cross my heart, I won't do it again

I tell myself, tell myself, tell myself, "Draw the line"

And I do, I do

But once in a while I trip up, and I cross the line

And I think of you

Two years, and just like that, my head still takes me back

Oh, we were such a mess, but wasn't it the best?

Just because it's over doesn't mean it's really over

And if I think it over, maybe you'll be coming over again

[wintergirl86]

Rewatching S2 of NHIE and it still remains the only season I didn't quite fully enjoy. It had great moments with Devi and Nalini, Ben, Paxton and Aneesa and I get that the plot points I didn't necessarily love needed to happen for Devi's continued growth and grief process. I get it, I'm just not in love with it as I was with the other seasons.

[wintergirl86]

Some of y'all give Margot way too much credit. Yes, she got Ben to respect her and to value art (and art helped him cope with his stress), and to not worry so much about his grades. But I honestly feel like she was only able to do it because he had already grown quite a bit by the time she met him. He was already more open to respecting other people's intelligence thanks to Fabiola and Paxton, and he was already a little more relaxed because of his conversation with Paxton, and most importantly, his conversation with his dad. Margot isn't some super girl who got Ben to calm down in a way that no other girl could achieve. And she also wasn't the first non-Devi person to get him to respect her intelligence.

Also, for the people who claim that Devi was more vulnerable with Paxton than she was with Ben - Oh like the time she moved into Paxton's house after she had that huge argument with her mother in season 1? Oh wait, that's not what happened, is it? Devi almost always tried her best to downplay her emotions with Paxton. For example, as soon as she says that she feels like everyone in her life is done with her, she asks him to forget she said that, and that it was weird. And his response is to kiss her. How is that a sign of great emotional intelligence? I think Paxton had some really wise moments, but I honestly don't think he's so much more mature than Ben or Devi (as some people claim). They had their fair share of wise moments too. And all three of them had their own flaws. Paxton is just less obviously off-putting than Ben and Devi. I mean I'm not put off by them, but I'm talking about the people who might dislike their "mean" or "crazy" sides.

[wintergirl86]

I'm rewatching Never Have I Ever, and season 1 Devi really just needed a hug. Also, that argument between Nalini and Devi in 1 x 09 just made me feel so intensely. I just feel so bad for Devi. I feel sorry for Nalini too, but I just want to protect Devi at all costs. Also, despite their differences, there are actually quite a few sweet Nalini and Devi moments scattered throughout the season - more than I remembered.

[wintergirl86]

OK, I seriously can't believe someone actually thinks this about season 4 of Never Have I Ever:

"In 2023, the message of the show suddenly turned into *"racism, white supremacy, patriarchy, and class inequity doesn't exist anymore. Devi did a Bollywood dance, got into Princeton, and a racist white guy said he loves her at the last minute, so everything is going to be okay (for Gen Z)."*

This is the opposite of the premise that the show started with in 2020, which acknowledged the brutal unfairness in the world."

Firstly, it wasn't a Bollywood dance. They danced to the Tamil dubbed version of a song that is originally Telugu. Tamil cinema is known as Kollywood, and Telugu cinema is known as Tollywood. Maybe people who comment so much on racism should learn a little more about not clubbing all of Indian culture together. As a Telugu woman who lives in Tamil Nadu, I'd like to say that I was really happy with the dance number. I was especially happy because it wasn't a Bollywood dance (season 1 just used Hindi songs, and that really annoyed me because Devi is Tamil).

The show literally acknowledged that Devi ("our little hothead from the valley") was happy in that moment. There was no claim about everything being okay forever. It's just that she is better equipped to deal with problems now. She will continue to grow non-linearly, just like she did throughout the show.

Of course, the show became less about dealing with intense grief as it went on - time heals. But they did portray that grief still lingers, despite that.

Also, the portrayal of familial relationships was great - Devi talking about how it's cool to live with three generations of women in her house, Nalini having to deal with empty nest syndrome, Nalini talking about her own struggle with having to start over in the US after being a top resident in India (but of course, the last season does not acknowledge how brutally unfair the world is /s) and how she was just trying to protect Devi from being devastated, Devi setting her mother up (showing how much she had healed and grown since season 2), Kamala being too attached to her family to move away and Nalini telling her that change is good (and even Kamala's coping mechanism of becoming overprotective of Nirmala), Kamala and Devi's sweet moments, the family's acceptance and joyous celebration of Nirmala finding love again, Nirmala calling Nalini out for being mean to Devi, and of course, the heartwarming scene of Nalini helping Devi pack and telling her she's proud of her. Devi's final monologue focused primarily on how much she cares about her mother. Did all of that mean nothing to some people?

Never Have I Ever is not an unproblematic show. But I still can't believe it's being reduced to this. I. Seriously. Just. Can't. Devi was so much more comfortable in her skin than when the show started, and was no longer obsessed with external validation. Her relationship with Nalini had improved greatly. She embraced her culture so much more. She was okay with not getting into Princeton, and realised that she'd always be connected to her father no matter what. I don't mind that she didn't completely give up on her Princeton dream. I don't think she needed to, to show that she had healed. She was able to tell her dad's story in a way that felt true to herself, and did not feel exploitative (she reclaimed her power from a racist white guy). She was truly happy when she prayed to the gods before leaving to Princeton. She was surrounded by people who cared about her and loved her, as she said. And she was happily in the middle of a fun game of Never Have I Ever before Ben showed up. She had learned to love herself and her life. The show having a happy (for now) ending does not equal them saying that everything is going to be okay forever. The world is still brutally unfair. Devi is just a little better at dealing with it.

I don't know who needs to hear this but Never Have I Ever had a TEAM DEVI ending! Just because Devi was not single at the end of the show/ended up with someone you dislike, it doesn't mean that the ending wasn't a win for team Devi.

TEAM DEVI FOR THE WIN! AND THAT'S WHAT WE GOT.

I'll acknowledge that there were issues with the show throughout all four seasons. But I can't see such an empowering show being dismissed in such a ridiculous way.

[wintergirl86]

genuinely feel like most people would have a much easier and more joyful experience engaging with media if they stopped trying to apply real life moral judgement to fictional characters. like you don't have to excuse a character or condemn them, actually. they're allowed to do things, and you're allowed to examine those actions in terms of what it means to the characters and the story itself, without having to worry so hard about whether those actions are justifiable or not.

[wintergirl86]

What are you doing here?

DEVI VISHWAKUMAR & BEN GROSS Never Have I Ever | 4.10 “...said goodbye“

[wintergirl86]

How it started vs how it’s going

“Ben has gone through a lot. He went from being a little rude, a little obnoxious at times, to confessing his love to Devi in the end. He started out teasing her, and now they are in love! So, a pretty big journey I think.” — Jaren Lewison

[wintergirl86]

in season one ben couldn’t work up the courage to ask his own parents not to go away for his birthday, and in season four he flew across the country to confess his love for a girl he wasn’t sure loved him back

[wintergirl86]

once again crying screaming throwing up over the fact that ben gross, who has always carried the weight of the world on his shoulders, who has always lashed out to avoid being vulnerable, who has been raised in a household where he has been neglected and abandoned over and over again, who has been rejected more times than he can count, worked up the courage to fly across the country to tell a girl he loves her—not knowing what she would say, not knowing if she would reject him—just because he wanted her to know. just because it was true.