whyitsmemyselfandi

[whyitsmemyselfandi]

William B. “Bill” Watterson II.

[whyitsmemyselfandi]

Here's the thrill

Chase the thrill

or the high

the rush of starting something new

take out the seam

pick up the needle

come on, I think this is gonna be fun

if life has been such a flat lonely wasteland

this new adventures is just the start

of a windy hill to climb

But what happens when

shit hits the fan

or you can barely catch your breath

that you gaze longingly at the lovely flat ground

wishing you were there

you want to reach the top

for the amazing sunlit views

but the uphill climb

is too much

and you slowly descend....

Maybe you need to catch your breath

take the foot off the pedal

breathe in the wind

listen to the rustle of the leaves

feel the strength around you

the music in the air

refill, refresh, resolve

and look out at this love

[whyitsmemyselfandi]

So far this year has been a lot of me revisiting my creative side, from writing, drawing, doodling, zines, beading, and a tiny bit of sewing. I want to do it all and improve on everything, but it’s hard when I get bored after an hour. So far what’s working is completing it in chunks. An 1 hr of crochet in morning, afternoon, and evening, and then I see progress.

Barring any unforeseen circumstances, I’m going to apply for a local vendor market. Seeing a first time vendor with her small amount of craft and really cute items inspired me to start making things. My brain is going a bit wild bouncing from idea to idea. The idea is so new and novel that it’s overwhelming and taking up a lot of space in my brain..and I want to slow my brain down and not get burnt out on the idea itself that I drag my feet and have no desire to make the things. I want to focus on small handmade jewelry, crochet figures and maybe zines? Perhaps the zines could be separate from the market and simply advertised at a local business. It’s really easy for me to hyperfocus and then crash afterwards. If I decide on the parameters now that will give me a bit of a fence for all my thoughts (keeping my main item, just make a few prototypes and see if I like them, not getting too zealous in the idea generation phase).

[whyitsmemyselfandi]

AIO Fan Artwork

My final draft of my artwork submission for Odyssey’s 1000 artwork tribute. Thanks for all your answers to the poll, but I couldn’t pass up the lawnmower scene. Pretty happy with how it turned out!

[whyitsmemyselfandi]

AIO fan art submission

I just submitted my request for AIO’s fan art submission and am drawing Aubrey from the split episode, The Long Way Home. My main medium is pencil sketches, so now my brain is overthinking what “finished artwork” means. Should it be colorized? I guess I’d have to put out my pencil crayons then and potentially make it look worse

anyway, here’s a rough sketch. I’d love to put some queer themes into it, but AIO would def nix that.

[whyitsmemyselfandi]

Adventures in Odyssey ramble

So I jumped back into the AIO fandom this year after a very long hiatus and am catching up with all the episodes including all the Buck and Jules ones and Buck’s search to find his father. So far my favorite ones were of Emily Olivia losing her faith—really well done in depth episodes.

and ever since the podcast teased Townsend Coleman as the acting voice of Eugene, I’ve been on baited breath waiting for his episode and really all the new episodes from the new album. Oct 7th can’t come soon enough!

[whyitsmemyselfandi]

Here’s a beautiful interview with Amanda Lindsey Cook about her last album, "House on a Hill" and taking in the presence of God through community, eating with people, walks in naitre, and so much more than "monologuing to a patriarchy in the sky"

[whyitsmemyselfandi]

I was cleaning out my computer and came across videos from 9, 10, and 11 years ago of old vlogs. I’m still that same person...the fangirl who gets so excited about new music, concerts, etc., the worker who becomes easily attached to friendly colleagues...the one with strong emotions who is good at hiding them around everyone except her close family.

But I’m more than that girl as well. That girl was beautiful and treasured, and adored. I am a dedicated and loyal worker. And while I can reclaim parts of that girl, I can also reclaim longings and desires as I see them for healthy relationships and deep connections. Reclaim all of myself...the light and dark sides, the insecurity, the fear, the embodied person, the grounded person, and the one who delights in things. Accepting the mosaic of myself and showing up in this world with the assumption that I’m already accepted. That I matter. That my voice matters. There’s an earnestness in my that’s developed over the years. And it can dulled down by certain routines, fatigue, or overwhelm. But the earnestness and yearnings and longings are beautiful. I’m learning that, in this period of solace before school starts again. 

I want to give myself permission to show up. To speak up when I should. To give room for others to speak. To communicate my expectations, worries, and struggles. To be honest with myself, my loved ones, and my partner. To ride the wave of working and ups and downs of energy, of learning more intellectually while also cultivating my heart and body as well.

[whyitsmemyselfandi]

I admit it, I waited up for this song’s release last night and then stayed up even later watching the lyric video again and again...

"Her first album as Falcon releases later this fall (2020)"

We're getting a new album from Amanda!!!

[whyitsmemyselfandi]

A lovely hip flow for all of you 💕

[whyitsmemyselfandi]

It’s weird how when you stop trying to be the person you were and accept the person you are, it eases the burden. Accepting your doubts, fears, questions, as well as your joys and hopes. You can be hopeful and doubtful. It is okay.

[whyitsmemyselfandi]

I'm back...

Literally, from another country. I went to Asia for a month to stay with family and I feel I've come back a whole new person. Now that I've returned, I feel inclined to catch up with all the YouTube and Facebook videos I've missed and see all the Broadway news, and finish all the tv shows I started. But it's different. I want to be different. In the month away, I barely watched any tv, and that was only on the flights to and from. Life felt much simpler...I had so much more time in my hands, and often it was just me and God. I want to retain that simplicity. I don't want to be online all the time or be on social media aimlessly to simply pass the time. I want to spend time doing things I love that aren't media-related. A blogger I love referred to it as "resourcing." Spending time on things and people that fill me up. Filling my mind with inspiring content and focusing on personal developement rather than mindlessly consuming.

[whyitsmemyselfandi]

Meeting Jess Harnell

I just realized it's been a month since the convention and I never talked about my experience with meeting Jess. So here you go! To start off, there were a lot more people in line than I'd expected...probably about 15-20. I got in line about ten minutes before the autographs were scheduled. My brother was with me, as he wanted to meet Jess as well. I brought the Odyssey t-shirt my brother had had signed by Townsend two years ago. Jess was about fifteen minutes late, so we were waiting around half an hour before he showed up. It was really exciting seeing him interact with everyone in front of us. He was having little conversations with everyone and laughing and joking. Because of this, it took about an hour to get to the front of the line. The wait was pretty long and my feet were quite sore by then but it was still awesome. Jess was teasing me about how short I am and just very charming. He even did the Wooton voice for me (though I really wanted him to do the Mr Charles voice but was too nervous to ask him). He asked me if I'd listened to any recent episodes and said that there were some good ones coming out. After joking a little bit more, we went on our way. He was a lot of fun and very friendly and personable with all the fans, posing for pictures and giving them hugs afterward. I was really glad I got to meet him. :)

[whyitsmemyselfandi]

Less than two weeks till I'm meeting Jess Harnell!

So the comic-con is next Friday, where my brother and I will hopefully be meeting Jess! Now the only question is what should I have him sign? The AIO devotional that Townsend signed? Or something else?

[whyitsmemyselfandi]

My allergies are acting up again and all I can think about is this commercial, which I love not just because of the voice actress... ;)

[whyitsmemyselfandi]

So I know I haven't posted in forever, but I felt I needed to update you on this year's potential AIO actor meetings. Jess Harnell is coming to my city for a convention. This is awesome! I've always loved his voice as Wooton. Unless he unexpectedly cancels, I will be meeting Jess in a little over a month :D