whostoleallthecookies

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hmmm

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taking stock meme phrases and translating them into Ye Olde English is literally top tier comedy

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can’t stop thinking about her (garlic bread)

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why do computers even need updates. I love her the way she is…

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This is like a fire extinguisher catching fire

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Nothing worse than being obsessed with an ocs ship you haven't even properly written down yet

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You think THATS a denim jacket?

Surely you

Jest

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Sometimes the author of a fanfiction is an incredibly talented writer who has an extremely poor understanding of the source material 💖

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scurvy has got to have one of the biggest disease/treatment coolness gaps of all time. like yeah too much time at sea will afflict you with a curse where your body starts unraveling and old wounds come back to haunt you like vengeful ghosts. unless☝️you eat a lemon

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my fellow americans. i have badly had a massive coronary. the biggest coronary. nobody's valves have ever been so completely blocked. a man came up to me, very strong man, tears, in his eyes, he says to me he says mister president, your heart is no longer beating due to an obstruction, i said, yeah. yeah but it's 'uge. we have taken the cholesterol and the plaque and we have built the wall. in my aorta. they're calling it, the biggest heart attack anyone's ever had. you cannot imagine the flatulence. beautiful, it's a beautiful thing. my heart is marbled with fat, believe me.

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i'm really sad right now, does anyone have that post about the 4chan forcefem bridget tulpa?

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Mitä voit sanoa sekä juhlissa, että hiihtoladulla?

Huonot pidot.

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i just said out loud, “you know what really gargles my goyles?” and then i had to just sit there and accept that i now live in a world where someone said those words in that order. and now so do you. what a tangled web we weave

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there r real teens out there who think discovering nirvana is a special achievement