whoonearthisworld

[whoonearthisworld]

I am choosing to get started

I struggle with self-expression.

I have been told by the people around me that I am not the best communicator. I either say too much, or not enough, or what I say comes off so incredibly convoluted that the meaning gets lost through the mumble jumble of me trying to put together a coherent speech.

To put things in the simplest terms: I love words. I actually do, and maybe a little too much so that I indulge in the matter of eloquence in the most redundant manner, and it ends up becoming my own undoing. I think way too much about how to greet someone in the most cool and poetic way, that we just end up strangers before the conversation even begins.

Why do I feel the need to over-describe? Do I actually have a fear of being misunderstood? As a creative, my greatest hope is to be able to relate to others through my work one day, yet, I hope nobody cares enough to discover my work in its messy, disorganised state. Putting myself out there and sharing my work has become a personal challenge for this exact reason, but I am trying to not let that stop me. It feels incredibly vulnerable to be a beginner, but I hope I will not be deterred. Everything takes time and practice.

The only way out of this dilemma is through.

Entry I, 14.09.2023