whocanretell

[whocanretell]

Hi everyone. I was hoping I wouldn’t have to have this be my first foray back into Tumblr RP after my inadvertent hiatus, but as someone who has watched their friends be harassed and stalked by Valentine, I can no longer in good conscience stay silent. I stayed quiet because I didn’t want to make things worse for anyone, but at this point, I feel it’s better for everything to be out in the open. I unfortunately do not have screenshots for a lot of what I’m about to talk about because it was five years ago andI didn’t think to hoard evidence on people I considered my friends. Frankly, I had no idea that things with Valentine (who I knew as Laurel) would have progressed as they did and hopefully, my account of my experience with them will shed some light on the subject.

I first met Valentine through Merc shortly after I entered the DA Tumblr RPC in late June/early July of 2017 playing The Iron Bull. My URL at the time was afirmbelieverinnopantsfridays and I was one of the only Iron Bulls at the time in the Tumblr RPC. Merc and I had taken a chance on each other because she was attempting to start up a roleplay exchange and I joined her Discord along with a few other roleplayers who would become some of my best friends. Valentine was not in this Discord, but I had seen them interacting with her and decided to give them a follow, even though I was lukewarm on their character, Astor Hawke. We hit it off fairly quickly and had been friends for probably about the space of a month when they asked if I was interested in shipping Astor and Bull together. 

Initially, I said we could try it out and asked them about the dynamic they had in mind. They told me what they envisioned was that Astor and Bull would meet during Inquisition at some point and Astor’s interest would initially be piqued by his fetish for Qunari, but would turn into a genuine relationship based on mutual respect and affection. I pointed out that Astor fetishizing Bull would make it substantially harder to do because he got that a lot in the South and keeping in mind the racial politics of the game setting, it would not make him feel positively towards Astor. They said they were committed to Astor doing the work on his own and I said okay, but to keep our discussion in mind. They sent me a couple of asks, which I did answer, but we never developed any threads. 

Shortly after that, as my friendships with Merc and Valtielt developed, we joined Reese’s Discord server. Valentine asked if they could be an admin fairly early on and we all agreed because we didn’t foresee it being an issue. I had noticed their aggressive and persistent vaguing on the dash, sometimes directed at people I considered friends and mutuals, but fortunately, Valentine was too busy with their ships at the time to pay much attention to me. 

As time went on, Merc had begun to talk to us in her own server about her interactions with Valentine and the person she chose to call Blue (who was also a victim but very much an enabler of Valentine’s behavior towards Merc and was her right hand on the dash). I had to be careful about what I said because it was clear that Merc was in a really rough place and that she needed a friend more than she needed me telling her to cut Valentine and Blue out of her life for being terrible friends. They were emotional vampires who would make fun of her for having a panic attack and dismiss her suicidal thoughts and feelings. They would tell her that she was a bad friend for being mentally ill and not supporting them in the way that they chose or get upset that she was having a normal reaction to negative and shitty things going on in her life. 

I was there in Reese’s Discord for the Squid incident, which came after that, and I cannot stress enough that it was peacefully resolved. When Valentine blew up at Merc in private DMs, she told us in her private server that we shared because she was so blindsided. Naturally, we were all appalled and that was the point where I decided that I would start privately distancing myself from Valentine. It was not difficult to do because they weren't paying much attention to me and spent most of their time posting about their existing partners or vaguing angrily on the dash. 

Sometime after that, I called out a roleplay musings blog for making a post using the translated slogan of the Auschwitz concentration camp, “Work will make you free”, as an aesthetic. This was not the first time I had called out a blog for antisemitism,and unfortunately, not the first time they reacted badly. Valentine came into my DMs to quietly support me and told me that they were Jewish. I thanked them for sharing that with me and said that I understood why they kept it quiet because racism in the American Jewish community against Jews of color. I do not doubt that Valentine is Jewish, but it is the fact that Valentine is Jewish that made the incident Merc described in Reese’s server with the Holocaust memorial photo absolutely fucking galling. I helped Merc write that part of her callout because I remembered that incident so clearly and I would have never known that Valentine, a fellow Jew, had given her shit for it because my non-Jewish friend Merc came to me privately in DMs because she felt I had a right to know what was happening.

I should not need to say to a fellow Jew that Holocaust memorial photos are never just “photos”. I should not need to say to a fellow Jew that it doesn’t need to be Auschwitz for me to get mad at people making our ancestors’ traumatic,unjust deaths into moodboard photos for their aesthetic. My blood boils to this day just thinking about it, but every word Merc wrote is true. 

I thought about blocking Valentine in Reese’s server after that, but ultimately didn’t because my life outside roleplay got in the way. I was not sure how to disentangle myself because I had seen the way they reacted to others who cut them off or upset them and decided that muting them on my dash and not engaging was the path of least resistance. Then, it turned out I didn’t have to work too hard because I watched Valentine blow up Reese’s server for no reason and hold it hostage. 

We were talking in the trigger warning chat about comedy and somehow, the subject of Bill Maher came up for the first time. My friend Tasmin noted that he was transphobic and a couple of other people chimed in. We were about to move on when Valentine came in there out of nowhere and said that with their authority as a mod, they were banning the topic of Bill Maher because “you guys get so fucking extra all the time”. All of us, who had watched Valentine vague and rant on the dash with impunity, were blindsided. I and a couple of other people pointed out that Valentine was the one who had made it a problem, the server had been drama free because we had resolved problems peacefully, and we were all adults who didn’t appreciate being treated like children. Valentine refused to apologize or step down as a mod, so we went to Reese. 

Reese spoke with Valentine privately, then let us know that not only was Valentine refusing to apologize and step down as a mod, but that they had threatened to nuke the server if he tried to remove them. Valentine almost deleted that entire server and held it hostage from its rightful owner because they would have rather buried it than taken accountability for making a mistake and apologizing. We ended up leaving en masse after that because there was nothing that we could do and Reese understood why we didn’t want to stay.

I didn’t speak to Valentine for a long time after that, which is why I was so surprised when they approached me in DMs a couple of months later. I had quietly deleted every ask they had sent me because I knew blocking them would set them off, which wasn’t many and could easily be explained away by Tumblr eating it. I responded to what they said, but didn’t engage beyond that and we were talking about their character Astor and roleplay. Valentine mentioned a talent of his among many others and then went on to explain to me that he was incredibly good at so many things because “the autistics……their intelligence is amazing.” 

That’s a verbatim quote. I remember it in perfect clarity because I was so angry. My high school best friend, who I loved like a brother, was autistic. Additionally, my mother was a psychology professor and while I was never a student in her classes, I had learned about the ableism in the savant model from her and why that was so particularly damaging and harmful to autistic people. I did not know whether Valentine was autistic or not and frankly, I did not care because you can be disabled and still uphold ableism that harms others. 

I went silent and then never spoke to Valentine again. Frankly, I was waiting for them to ask me why because I was ready to tear them a new one. In retrospect, I’m glad they didn’t because I would have made things worse for Valtiel and Merc, and I don’t want this to happen to anyone else who reads this. Please block this person and don’t engage. It is not worth the cost of your mental health or your wellbeing. 

And Valentine, yimakh sh’mo, since I know you’re reading this, gai kaken offen yom. 

[whocanretell]

*blows dust off of blog* Hi, I’m alive! Guess who started a new job, adopted kittens, and forgot their login email somewhere in the fall of 2022 and got sucked into a bunch of other stuff? But I’m here, I remember my email, and I shan’t be fooled again.

[whocanretell]

via the system of touch: memes // accepting

tie.  for bull to adjust an article of josie’s clothing. @whocanretell​​

they have a rather decisive dinner in less than a hour, and josephine is going through everything on her mental checklist for what must be the tenth time.  the outcome of this banquet will determine a large share of the montilyet estate, as they seek to secure benefactors for a substantial business venture.  josephine thrives in this setting; however, that does not mean that she is immune from the anxiety it promises.  

she could not possibly be more prepared than she is; and if she was made to be honest, she would say that she feels confident in her ability to close this deal.  even so, her pacing may sooner burn holes in the floor.  that is, until bull catches her by one hand with his deceptive gentleness.

“is something the matter?” she asks, drawn out of her eleventh run-through of her coming agenda.  her dark brown eyes, once glazed over in distant thought, are now focused solely on him.  how funny it is that he simultaneously quickens the beating of her heart and grounds her from nerves.

“you forgot something,” he explains with one of his more captivating smiles (as though he intends to profess some provocative secret).  josephine furrows her eyebrows briefly in confusion and is about to protest when he produces a beautiful and intricate necklace made of gold and laden with rubies.  she forgets herself and doesn’t even remember to cover her mouth as she gasps.

“where did you—” but he will hear nothing of her objections.  with great care and affection, bull moves to stand at her back.  without even realizing it, josephine holds her breath, the sharp inhale catching as his fingers skate along the nape of her neck to collect her yet-to-be-styled hair.  he takes his time placing the necklace on her, effectively playing her like some delicate, finely tuned violin. she folds to his every whim. even in chaste moments such as this, he knows how to touch her.  she forgets everything she has ever worried about.

“there,” bull announces, after he has carefully placed the piece of jewelry, his lips almost directly adjacent to one of josephine’s ears.  she releases that unsteady breath she had been holding as she realizes that he has angled her toward a nearby mirror.

“oh,” is all she says at first, visibly awestruck, though her eyes divide their time between the vision of him and the ornate gift he has given her. “well… you have… certainly outdone yourself, my love,” josephine manages after a few more moments of ardent disbelief. “thank you,” she smiles—warm and all-encompassing, like sunlight. 

“you have such an eye for things of beauty,” her tone takes on a more teasing lilt as her fingertips trace over the necklace and then to his jawline while she watches them in the mirror. 

“you look exceedingly handsome tonight, you know,” her smile morphs into more a smirk, and - perhaps - she bites her lip. “i do hope you will not be too much of a distraction.” the direct translation of this being, ‘distract me all you like.’

distractions or no, they are always a force to be reckoned with.

[whocanretell]

I got off the phone with the shelter animal control runs in my city about half an hour ago and both kittens are sick and they may not survive it. I was initially supposed to pick them up on Tuesday after they were spayed, but the surgery had to be pushed back because their veterinary department was so behind. They were fine both times I visited them, so this appears to have come out of nowhere and their organs are shutting down. Since animal control isn’t a hospital, they’ve put the word out to their rescue partners, who may choose to take the kittens on and the cost of their medical care. If they do survive, I would have to go through the rescue to adopt and there’s no guarantee that they would honor my previous adoption claim or that the kittens will survive. At this point, we don’t know and the front desk people are the last to know at animal control, in my experience.

There will be other kittens in my life and there is hope, but I always prepare for the worst. Please take a moment with me to appreciate Nahri (pink nose, pink socks) and Shabribri (black nose, black paws) and know that they were loved and wanted and hope that their deaths are painless if they don’t make it.

[whocanretell]

[whocanretell]

They come home with me in two days and I can’t stop thinking about them.

[whocanretell]

@whocanretell​

It’s a stolen kiss. snatched between moments of revelry. Zaynab is a different person in the Autumn Court, freed from the burdens of the public eye and the slow, inevitable crush of her father’s grasp. She’s lighter and her smile reaches her eyes when she takes Ro’s hand to spin her around as they’re dancing to a reel in a language she’s slowly becoming familiar with. A twirl, a kiss, her lips there and not as they draw together and whirl apart to the beat of the music, her grey gold eyes and luminescent black skin glimmering in the light of the fire.

THERE HAS NEVER BEEN A CREATURE MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN HER. For all the wonders of Faerieland and the splendor of the mortal world , Zaynab is the most stunning thing she’s ever seen. Rowena revels in the way she comes to life here. It’s their first Autumn Festival since she’d brought her underhill and she moves with the revelry as though she’s known it all along. Even if in some world it wasn’t with her , Zaynab has a belonging here.

The flow of song carries them along the carpet of fallen leaves , kicking them into the air with light steps , a golden colored trail in their wake. Rowena pulls her wife in and is met with her lips. It’s brief and she’s smiling too much for it to really count as a kiss but it stirs her all the same. She whirls away and it feels like a chase as she follows for another and another , as many as she can claim. The Lord and Lady of Autumn stand at the center point of their subjects that continue to dance around them but Zaynab is all she see. She steals another kiss , much longer this time , and gently holds her face in her hands.

❝ I love you. ❞

( kees )

[whocanretell]

Really interesting narrative decision of me that my most religious characters (Pike, Rivka, Zaynab, Jamshid) are queer and, in addition to having the most complicated relationships with their families, also have the most complicated relationships with their faiths as opposed to my queer, non-religious characters (Delilah, Skinner, Rocky, Krem) and my queer characters who fall somewhere in the middle (Bull, Dalish, Stitches, Vex). Wonder what could’ve inspired that.

[whocanretell]

"I am most certainly, not the person you appear to be looking for." the warrior is not unkind in his words, amusement coloring the tone & making brows rise to meet hairline-- though much of his expression remains hidden beneath the fabric that conceals half of his face. "I would say that i have 'one of those faces'... but." he gestures to the mask, shoulders shaking with laughter. ( a sheik for zaynab! )

The problem with traveling clothes, Zaynab thought, was their severe lack of distinction, a problem that no amount of fashion could solve. If you altered them even the slightest amount, the unforgiving desert would make its displeasure known. Aqisa had shot down all of her suggestions, which were considerably restrained in her opinion, and now here they were. She glanced at the sea of people in varying neutral shades and crossed her arms, resisting the urge to huff.

"Forgive me," she said in a practiced gracious tone. "My traveling companion appears to have gone ahead to make arrangements." Scouting the area? Buying her breakfast? Arguing in an alley or roof with her formal ancestral enemy about where to go next? Either way, she would be receiving an earful for abandoning her princess in her time of need.

[whocanretell]

#WISDOMCEND. a private / mutuals only, independent, canon divergent telling of the story of Sheik from The legend of Zelda Franchise.

A study in: Generational Trauma, Telling God to Fuck herself, Keeping the Old Ways Alive, The Devotion of Siblings, Reconnecting to One’s Heritage, Moving on After Loss, Surviving Tragedy, Coping with Trauma, Facing the tyrants you Love, The Light that cannot survive without Shadow, The helpful / comforting Darkness, and hauntings that you welcome.

With verses for other games / timelines, dragon age, modern, devil may cry, resident evil, and more to come. Told by Emery.

Would appreciate a reblog or two to get the ball rolling!

[whocanretell]

Just a heads up that quinn aka heathiins, who was kicked out of darp for coercing people to write noncon and trying to manipulate them into continuing even after it triggered them and they wanted to stop, has been sneaking back into the community again @/solariam

They’ve been interacting with people for weeks, INCLUDING folks that they’d wronged and been dropped by in the past, and only quietly admitted to their identity yesterday in a google doc added to the blog. You can see by comparison HERE that their old rules make no mention of who they are and their history. 

[whocanretell]

Just a heads up that quinn aka heathiins, who was kicked out of darp for coercing people to write noncon and trying to manipulate them into continuing even after it triggered them and they wanted to stop, has been sneaking back into the community again @/solariam

They’ve been interacting with people for weeks, INCLUDING folks that they’d wronged and been dropped by in the past, and only quietly admitted to their identity yesterday in a google doc added to the blog. You can see by comparison HERE that their old rules make no mention of who they are and their history. 

[whocanretell]

Hey all. I hate asking for help like this but I’m really desperate. As some of you may know, a back injury I suffered a while ago aggravated more serious long-term conditions and has effectively left me disabled and struggling financially. I’m an immigrant, and my green card is expiring real soon, so any help towards the cost of the filing fee, biometrics etc, is really appreciated. Right now the cost is hundreds of dollars that I don’t have. Any assistance with this at all would mean so much. For those willing to help, my paypal is teadrinkingelite@gmail.com and venmo is @/alraune.  Thanks for reading!

[whocanretell]

@whocanretell sent:  [ attention ] for your muse to touch mine as a way of getting their attention ++ (let inara distract bull for once while he’s working instead of the other way around)

It had been a few days. 

Keep reading

[whocanretell]

“Didn’t need to. My pop pop brews his own bourbon.” Pike says it with her whole chest, a touch of smugness creeping into her grin. “He likes white wine, too.” She takes the Mason jar from Imogen and raises it to her. “Bottoms up.”  Without skipping a beat, she takes a mouthful and savors it before swallowing. “Ahh,” she exhales. “Good stuff, Imogen. Good stuff.”

open starter

“You’ve never had moonshine?” Imogen tilts her head, the back of her right hand resting against her hip. “Well, you’re in for a treat. It’s one’a them sweeter liquors, you know?  Potent without sacrificin’ the taste. Here,” she offers what is effectively a small mason jar of dark purple liquid. “Tastes like blackberries.”

[whocanretell]

imoved5643347-deactivated201510​:

The nerd I reblogged this from has a quality blog and I recommend you all follow them

[whocanretell]

fuck it!!  reblog this and say one (1) (or more if you want to) nice thing about the person you reblogged this from.  it can literally be about anything– just spread some positivity and make this hellsite just a little more bearable!