whittingsonder

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You ever been in a state where you physically have no energy, but you're bored and socially understimulated so you kind of wish you could just invite people to come over like this:

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“I want to speak to a manager,” the middle-aged woman said in her stern I-used-to-be-a-soccer-mom-ten-years-ago voice, looking down at me over the top of her Gucci reading glasses.

A wicked grin split across my face and the gates of Hell opened up behind me, releasing a gust of hot wind that whipped my apron around my body and forced the woman to shield her face. Demons came forth, dancing around in flames with songs of, “She wants to speak to a manager. Did you hear that? She wants to speak to a manager!” before erupting into earsplitting shrieks of laughter, none louder than my own cackling.

I took in the woman’s look of utter horror before my eyes rolled back into my head and I growled,

“I am the manager.”

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Dec 4: Remember that time we learned Clark Kent totally peeked at all his Christmas presents with his X-Ray vision? (Justice League, “Comfort and Joy”)

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average ivory banger

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everything in this life is temporary. except that fandom hyperfixation from when you were 14. that thang will be with you forever there's no escaping.

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They’re in need of some serious rest

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i accidentally showed some weakness earlier today it was disgusting i would not recommend it 

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begging small indie musicians to post lyrics to their songs because with all the love in my heart 🫶i dont know what ur saying🫶 and no one else can tell me 🫶

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Standing in a checkout line, when an older man asks me about my Goncharov t-shirt. I say "It's a movie, " when the person behind me chimes in, "Oh, yes, Scorsese."

The original gentleman goes on to tell me about the author Goncharov, his favorite of his novels, and a famous character from one of the novels. The three of us discuss whether the main character in the movie is intentionally named after the author, referencing that character, or whether it just sounded good to the film maker. We discuss how steeped the movie is in symbology.

Two of us are having a very different conversation than the third.

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Mel ✨

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ROSANNA PANSINO???

??????

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tfw a hallucination of your idealized younger self calls you a fucking loser

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I've been getting a bunch more snow in my area this year than i did this time last year *visualizes a geoguesser guy who works exclusively from weather reports doxing me* or have I...

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compilation of this type of post

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Jon again-

I need to draw this man happy FOR ONCE.

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I love horror podcast protags