whisperashine

[whisperashine]

being outside the uk is always jarring to me because i'm reminded that advertisements in other countries don't talk to you like you're on suicide watch

[whisperashine]

chatgpt is the coward's way out. if you have a paper due in 40 minutes you should be chugging six energy drinks, blasting frantic circus music so loud you shatter an eardrum, and typing the most dogshit essay mankind has ever seen with your own carpel tunnel laden hands

[whisperashine]

I love the use of the phrase 'some strange alchemy' as a descriptor for a process you don't understand.

'Through some strange alchemy(crochet) they turned a bundle of yarn into a stuffed giraffe'

'Through some strange alchemy(bad cooking) they turned a perfectly marinated steak into a charcoal briquet'

'Through some strange alchemy(good cooking) they turned a pile of slop into the fluffiest bread loaf I'd ever seen'

'Through some strange alchemy(bad reading comprehension) they took my polite statement and turned into a disgusting act against the poor'

and so on

[whisperashine]

imagine simping for capitalism this badly

[whisperashine]

MAD SCIENTIST WRAPPED 🧪

You made 9630 monsters this year.

You laughed in an unhinged and frightening manner for 569 hours.

Your most used chemical was Evil HRT and you used it 1836 times this year.

Your favourite monster to make was Erotic Frankenstein, which you made 145 times.

Your favourite piece of lab equipment this year was “Mr. Pinchy.”

You kidnapped 96 hot young journalists who were snooping where they shouldn’t be - that’s in the top 2% of mad scientists!

You killed 420 busybody detectives and miscellaneous policemen. (Nice!)

You spent 8760 hours dangling people over a vat of bubbling green acid.

You made one person into a chaise-longue.

You lost control of your creations and had them rampage through the village 56 times!

[whisperashine]

I should start posting franz kafka style diary quotes but it’s from my journal from when I was 11/12 and obsessed with naruto 

[whisperashine]

"You would be a great dad"

Riding in a hippy minivan with raibows painted all on it's sides

Staring longinly at a married couple

"You look really hot Eddie. In fact you could win the prize of hottest guy"

"My best friend in the whole world"

Waking up three different times with Venom being his first thought

Eddie visiting New York because they planned to do it with Venom

Feel free to add to the list

[whisperashine]

I enjoy that they tried to add that gut wrenching romantic montage of all of symbrocks moments at the end of the film but I couldn’t take it seriously with that awful cheers to the memories tiktok music

[whisperashine]

the success of the venom movies despite their poor reviews should really tell you how much the people crave monster romcoms.

like seriously. get on that.

[whisperashine]

The saddest part of Venom: The Last Dance was Venom knew it was his last dance. He knew one of them would have to die and that it would never be Eddie on his watch, so he did what he could. He stalled until he couldn't anymore and while he stalled he took Eddie on the adventure of a lifetime. He danced with Mrs. Chen, went on a road trip and was able to be the hero of the story. He knew he was going to die but by god if he wasn't going to live a little first. They were the Lethal Protector, and, in the end, Venom got to protect the human and planet he loved so very much.

[whisperashine]

mmmwwwwwwah

[whisperashine]

I miss them

[whisperashine]

gay people can never just say “I love you” instead they have to pine for domesticity while hitchhiking with hippies

[whisperashine]

punches walls* I NEED THEIR WEDDING NOW

[whisperashine]

Making memes is coping for whatever the ending of that movie was

[whisperashine]

venom is such a good movie. not because it's well written or anything, but because the villain is basically a slightly less evil elon musk and the hero is the saddest, grossest, most pathetic man you've ever seen in your life, and his freakish alien boyfriend, who kill a bunch of cops and have weird makeout sessions

[whisperashine]

It's their day, I don't make the rules