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Literally the best part of Breaking Dawn is Renesmee getting sad that she doesn’t sparkle like the others, and Bella saying “You’re the prettiest” followed immediately by Edward saying “I have to disagree” right in front of her

Like I get Edward can’t turn off the Bella Compliment Machine but imagine being self conscious about your looks and your mom is like “oh honey I think you’re the best looking one here.” And then your dad walks in like “What? No she’s not.”

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As a Welsh living in England, I totally agree

yeah

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Stephen Fry is a national fucking treasure!

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If you have any reason to want to skip Nine in Doctor Who - go and read the latest articles about Christopher Eccleston. What a brave, lovely man with an absolutely heart-wrenching story. All of that was going on while he was playing the Doctor.

Don’t bloody skip Nine.

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Foot absorbed. 📹 piyotabunsan

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I suppose Wales in Welsh is pretty similar, except Cymru sounds less 'Cumland' and more 'cumREEEEEEEEE'

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LMAOOOOOOOOO

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Yes sir I will take 10 of the moist burritos please

WRITHING SNOT PUPPIES

hey, you wanna learn about the largest amphibian in the western hemisphere? you do? 

GREAT. 

(no takebacks)

then without further ado, I’d like to introduce you to

found in the eastern half of the United States, the Hellbender is a giant fucking salamander. they are the largest amphibian in the western hemisphere by a wide margin, with adults clocking in at around two… feet? (that definitely says feet. jesus) long.

large enough to use as a blunt instrument

no one is really sure how these giant salamanders earned the name “Hellbender”, but it is thought that white settlers thought it was “a creature from hell who was bent on returning”, or that its wrinkly skin reminded white settlers of “the horrible tortures of the infernal regions.” (white settlers should not have been allowed to name things.)

…all right, yeah, it does sort of look like it crawled out of a Bosch painting.

these days, locals just tend to give them endearing vernacular names like: Snot Otter! Lasagna Lizard! Devil Dog! Grampus! Allegheny Alligator! aaaand for some fucking reason, Leverian Water Newt! 

these poor guys just can’t catch a break.

you’re hurting his feelings

the Hellbender is found in fast water streams and rivers from New York to Missouri. they breath completely through their skin (weird, but mammals can be judgey about this so I’ll let it slide) and hide under large rocks on the streambed, where they feast on crayfish and also regular fish.

maybe also feet

they are active at night and remain in dark areas during the day. to stay hidden, they have evolved light-sensitive cells all over their bodies. that’s right, they literally turned themselves into a single giant weird eyeball. what the fuck, evolution.

this seems like a good survival strategy (sort of), but it also means that to catch one you just have to go flip a bunch of muddy rocks over.

aaaaa! my plan, foiled!

unfortunately, human activity has been decreasing their number for years, and they are now regarded as Threatened. that said, there are many programs now in place for their recovery, including extensive captive breeding and environmental repair. 

hopefully in the future these amazing giant snot otters will make a recovery. we wish only good things for the lasagna lizard.

look at those eager faces! the future is yours, children

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I switch up which one I'm doing depending on what I can be arsed for

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I'm here for chicken positivity and learning

What are ur absolute all time favorite chicken breeds and why?

my all time favourite breeds are crested, spangled, and laced breeds

my #1 are cream brabanters, i just love everything about how they look

another cool breed that looks very similar are pavlovskayas, as far as I know they are unrelated. I just love them and brabanters for their half crescent spangles, they look like hearts its so cute

the most widely available funky breed i like are probably polishes. that being said, i’m not a fan of their reduced vision and sometimes their crest can need to be trimmed (they can also have dome shaped skulls with holes in them but most live fine)

another breed i love are salmon faverolles, they just look like toasted marshmallows and very huggable. they’re also one of the more dimorphic breeds, the roosters are black with light hackles and saddles

I was thinking of getting a faverolles but the only downside is their eggs are on the smaller side and my family wanted good layers.

so far all the breeds i listed are ones i’ve actually had no experience with so obviously i have to talk about ones i’ve owned. wyandottes are easily the most eye catching + reliable dual purpose you can get imo, plus the rose comb has less frostbite risk although lady columbian wyandotte has the biggest wattles of all my chickens. my SL wyandotte daisy is my baby and i’d die for her.

finally, there’s easter eggers (generic brand ameraucanas). If you’re in the hobby farm scene you’ll know both EEs and ameraucanas are an all-time favourite right now. their green or blue eggs are a novelty and you’ll always get wows from people who don’t know chickens can do that, so it’s really easy to sell or give away extra eggs. they come in a huge range of colours and the feet are green or blue, no two EEs look the same. they have a good temperament, and their tiny pea comb + absence of wattle is basically the most anti-frostbite you can get, which is great if you live in a cold climate. basically if you want a unique and cold resistant backyard breed my top recommendations are EEs or ameraucanas.

I have so many breeds i can talk about but its late and this post is getting really long

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Had a lush breakfast date with my partner today, perfect way to spend a rainy Saturday morning!

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All I’m saying is that if we can bring back the word hewwo we should be able to say smexy without any fear! Are we men or are we cowards???

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This is what I see in the shadows when my psychosis creeps in

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no offense but yall gotta stop acting like its the end of the world if a bi girl ends up with a guy