whatthe-shrek

[whatthe-shrek]

what are three thousand things you associate with me

[whatthe-shrek]

i hate it when customers get mad about policy and go “well i’ve always thought it worked differently” like ok. when i was a kid i thought the drains in sinks and bathtubs lead to Hell and i would pour things down them for the dead people. it turns out that you can think things that aren’t true

[whatthe-shrek]

Shouldn't have put the new year in the middle of winter cause then everyone expects you to get your shit together in january. Of all times

[whatthe-shrek]

[whatthe-shrek]

[whatthe-shrek]

something interesting about me is that i am so hot and funny and charming and everyone loves me but also i am an unloveable freak of nature. scientists didn't think it was possible but i made it work.

[whatthe-shrek]

the only reason I go on Reddit now is to find these bad two sentence horror posts. they're great. they're bad. but they're great.

[whatthe-shrek]

they won't tell you this in therapy but sometimes the best way to stop catastrophizing/anxiety is to interrupt your spiraling with "girl what the hell are you talking about"

[whatthe-shrek]

[whatthe-shrek]

I still think its the funniest shit ever that when I used to volunteer at planned parenthood every week even though I walked past mostly the same protesters every single time they were begging me not to get an abortion theres other options yadda yadda. Like meemaw you see me here every week. They call me abortions georg because I get another one every Monday at 8am

[whatthe-shrek]

[whatthe-shrek]

i never use this site so my year in review is fantastic

[whatthe-shrek]

in World War 1 around 8 million horses died but in World War 2 it was under a million which can only mean horses started to evolve bullet resistance

[whatthe-shrek]

[whatthe-shrek]

yeah

[whatthe-shrek]

my mom just had a 7cm brain tumor removed and since she's woken up she's been talking nonstop about this dream she had about going to an art gallery full of colourful paintings by a 'homosexual artist' named klimsdorf who was ethereal and wise, both young and old... at first she was convinced he was a real person but after failing to find him online she's accepted he was a figment of her subconscious mind and is now determined to bring him to life via painting his portrait herself. she's 67 and has never drawn in her life. and now this. blorbo from her tumor

[whatthe-shrek]