whatsthekink

[whatsthekink]

WE'RE STILL ALIVE!

Hey folks, Steve and Vex here

We just wanted to let you all know that we're actually still around!

We know it's been quite a while and we're sorry for kind of vanishing. We had a bunch of stuff going on in our lives and as most of you know, life ain't always all that streamlined and this little blog got a little lost along the way.

BUT, we're gonna try and get back to posting and answering your questions!

And we're not coming with empty hands, we got some new ideas for our blog. We are determined to give this space a little rework to provide you with the best quality education we can provide.

Let's not drag this out any more than needed, here's the spice for you guys:

1. Unfortunately, Vex's original account got sacked (which didn't help with getting things rolling but it is what it is) but now they are back as @angrytree !

2. For the sake of accessibility, visibility, consistency and navigation we have developed a few concepts for both your asks and our bigger posts. We'll be reworking the tags so you can find and filter stuff more easily, and our posts will be updated. For this reason we will be taking down our old posts, so you might see some things we've had covered again. (We will also be making a new pinned post so be on the lookout for that since it's gonna include some new stuff that may be important). Don't worry though, all of your asks will stay right where they are, as well as the stuff we reblogged.

3. We are promising a safe space for people in or around the kink/fetish community and considering the intimate nature of the things we address we felt it was necessary to protect people's privacy more than we used to, so we decided to use a new service for submitting post suggestions and asks that is completely anonymous and encrypted.

4. This one is not set in stone but we are toying with the idea of creating new graphics for this blog. We're not sure yet if that means completely changing the style of this place or just a few adjustments but keep an eye out, you may find some new visual touches here and there!

5. We quickly want to thank all of you who stuck around, read our posts, reblogged our stuff or sent us their kinky questions. This blog isn't just made for you but also with you. We hope you keep asking questions and we hope we can keep working on this blog for us all to enjoy.

I think that's all so far. We're pretty excited to start rolling out our new plans and hopefully you are too.

See you around!

[whatsthekink]

Hi! A gal I've been fooling around with has a knifeplay kink and I keep procrastinating when researching it to make sure I'm not doing anything dangerous, so I figured I'd ask if you have any resources to throw my way in case I continue to procrastinate. For the record, the few times we've had a knife in bed it's been a dull pocket knife and I've been pointing the sharp side away from anything vital when it's nearby, figured those were the base safety things I should do.

oh boy, knifeplay is a whole bag of beans if you want resources it's generally never a bad idea to just punch "[kink] resources" or "[kink] guide" into your search engine of choice you will probably find a blog or two with valuable articles on the topic you're looking for you'll likely also find some helpful discussions on forums or reddit posts

would be better if you did that quickly, knife play is one of the spicier kinks and can get fairly dangerous if you handle it poorly (get it, handle?) i'll give you a list of my personal safety tips so you know what to look out for but remember that being informed is vital to BDSM, especially with the riskier kinks i mean it, inform yourself well

anyway, here's the list:

as a beginner, it's better to use something knife-like rather than a real knife so you can get a feel on how to handle such a scene first

if you really want to use an actual knife, make sure you use either a fixed blade (preferably a full tang knife so the blade can't wobble) or if you use a folding knife it absolutely must lock in place

if the blade doesn't lock it can hurt you and your partner unexpectedly

do NOT use a serrated or jagged blade, even an improperly dulled blade can be jagged and cause mean tissue damage if you use cuts during knifeplay/bloodplay

if you dull a knife you should know what you're doing, reason stated above

the shorter the blade the more control you have over it, so better go for a smaller knife (but also don't ever use a karambit or similar curved blades)

daggers or other double edged blades are dangerous and not worth the risk

ensure you are not in a compromised position when handling a knife. if one of you tumbles, slips or falls you risk having an accident

make sure you communicate how both of you act when a blade is involved first. if the bottom in the scene thrashes around too hard it could also cause issues

it's not a toy, don't wave it around

if you cut your partner out of their clothing, point the blade away from them (and watch your hands and face while doing so)

the knife should be dry when handled so make sure it's not covered in lube or bodily fluids. also make sure your hands aren't too sweaty to interfere with your grip

put the knife in a safe spot, preferably sheathed or otherwise covered, when it's not in use

you have to know how to treat both smaller wounds as well as larger/deeper ones and have all necessary materials for treatment at hand (doing a first aid course is always a good idea)

rule above is for both aftercare and in case of an accident, because: accidents can always happen. knifeplay with a real knife is never 100% safe

and finally: know when to seek medical attention

very deep wounds, jagged wounds, continuous bleeding after applying pressure for a while, any gaping wounds need proper treatment or you will regret it

wounds on head, face, hands, joints and genitals should be at least closely monitored if you don't seek professional aid immediately

stay safe, friend! -steve

[whatsthekink]

When are people going to admit that being hit is just abuse and not consensual? How can you even like it?

first of all, let's make the basics very clear so I'm gonna whip up a definition of the word "consent" for you.

from the Merriam-Webster dictionary: consent (noun): compliance in or approval of what is done or proposed by another

and that's all there is to it. if people give permission to another party to inflict pain on them or anything else of that sort because it gives them pleasure, that is consensual. period. that is literally how consent works.

you do not get to make this decision for others and you have no right to judge others for what they enjoy.

ironically, the only non-consensual thing here is the implication of your ask. nobody has to admit anything here.

it's okay if being hit is not up your alley but that doesn't mean you have to spoil the fun for others.

if you want to criminalize the entirety of the kink and fetish community, you will have to find a different place for that. we do not tolerate that here.

it's rude and inconsiderate, and frankly a little sad too. let people have fun.

peace -steve

[whatsthekink]

Can you explain the difference between s/m and d/s?

okay so i'm assuming you're talking about Dominant/submissive and Master/slave dynamics.

simply put, a M/s dynamic or relationship is a type of D/s.

while certain types of D/s dynamics often involve love and affection as a core value, a M/s dynamic is focused on service, obedience and ownership specifically.

in such a dynamic, the slave is seen as property and the Master is seen as the owner of the property.

people in a M/s dynamic often take their roles extremely seriously. definitely not for beginners if you ask me, it takes a lot of dedication to make it work.

this can involve more than just sexual roleplay and some even live their everyday lives within their role as Master or slave.

D/s relationships in general involve one party inflicting things on the other party. a M/s dynamic is just a pretty hardcore sub-type.

BUT

however extreme the dynamic may be, it's not actual slavery of course. these dynamics are always consensual.

- steve