whatsorryiwasntlistening

[whatsorryiwasntlistening]

Happy One-Year-Until-His-Birthday to Iris Black

[whatsorryiwasntlistening]

[whatsorryiwasntlistening]

I hate how 3 pm is so close to 2 pm so there's an illusion that there's still time left in the day to do things but in reality 3 pm is also close to 4 pm and if it's close to 4 pm you might as well just wait till tomorrow. <- can't argue against this by the way.

[whatsorryiwasntlistening]

using "what were YOU doing at the devils sacrament" to mean "yeah i made an embarrassing reference but you understood it which is also embarrassing" is very funny to me

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[whatsorryiwasntlistening]

every prehistoric human reconstruction has me thinking “I want to smoke weed with this bitch”

she looks like she would have been an awesome neighbor, like she would have loved menthols and called me baby

[whatsorryiwasntlistening]

thread count is a lie perpetrated by Big Bedsheets. what really matters is the material.

[whatsorryiwasntlistening]

Fabric study :)🤍

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three thousand seven hundred euros. the stupidest size for a bag i've ever seen. "clutch" yeah you better clutch this thing with both arms because it appears to be roughly the size of a human torso. NO straps NO handles ALL your stuff is gonna be rattling around in there. HOWEVER it is shaped like a celery. so i want it 💖

[whatsorryiwasntlistening]

guards! lengthen that man's hair

[whatsorryiwasntlistening]

A recent cartoon for New Scientist

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glad this clears things up

If you are attracted to the tail of the mermaid, are you attracted to fish?

if you are attracted to the legs of a human, are you attracted to mammals?

[whatsorryiwasntlistening]

👍

If you are attracted to the tail of the mermaid, are you attracted to fish?

if you are attracted to the legs of a human, are you attracted to mammals?

[whatsorryiwasntlistening]

This woman always feeds a squirrel, and that squirrel returned the favour by leaving a cookie for her.

[whatsorryiwasntlistening]

responding to "have you gotten the surgery?" with "no, have you?" in a gossipy tone

[whatsorryiwasntlistening]

The tiger

He destroyed his cage

Yes

YES

The tiger is out

[whatsorryiwasntlistening]

military recruiter: so what got you guys interested in the marine corps

enormous horde of hagfish, ispods and bottom-feeding crustaceans: oh. uh. is that how you pronounce it