what-do-you-mean-its-not-canon

[what-do-you-mean-its-not-canon]

atsushi: i turned out perfectly fine!

akutagawa: this morning you thought a ghost made your toast

atsushi: I didn’t put the bread in!!! YOU didn’t put the bread in!!!

[what-do-you-mean-its-not-canon]

atsuhi: do you have any skeletons in your closet?

akutagawa: literally or figuratively?

atsuhi: honestly, the fact that i have to specify-

[what-do-you-mean-its-not-canon]

higuchi: where are you going?

akutagawa: to get ice cream or commit a felony, i’ll decide on the way there

[what-do-you-mean-its-not-canon]

kunikida, looking over dazai’s resume: ok, here it says you’re creative

dazai: yes

kunikida: may i ask what you create?

dazai: problems.

[what-do-you-mean-its-not-canon]

albedo: is something burning?

kaeya: just my love for you

albedo: kaeya, the toaster is on fire

[what-do-you-mean-its-not-canon]

albedo: do you take constructive criticism?

kaeya: i only take cash or credit.

[what-do-you-mean-its-not-canon]

albedo: can you please just be serious for 5 minutes?

kaeya: my record is 4, but i think i can do it

[what-do-you-mean-its-not-canon]

albedo, tending to kaeya’s wounds: how would you rate your pain?

kaeya: 0/10. would NOT recommend.

[what-do-you-mean-its-not-canon]

albedo, holding a bottle: is this whiskey or perfume?

kaeya: *chugs the entire bottle*

kaeya: it’s perfume

[what-do-you-mean-its-not-canon]

albedo: you often use humor to deflect trauma

kaeya: thank you

albedo: that’s not a good thing

kaeya: what i’m hearing is, you think i’m funny

[what-do-you-mean-its-not-canon]

albedo: you’re the love of my life and i would do anything for you

kaeya: i want you to eat three meals a day and have a decent sleep schedule

albedo: absolutely not.

[what-do-you-mean-its-not-canon]

aether: treat spiders the way you want to be treated

xiao: killed without hesitation

aether: no-

[what-do-you-mean-its-not-canon]

albedo: three words. say them and i’m yours.

kaeya, dense as hell, not getting it: three words

albedo:

[what-do-you-mean-its-not-canon]

aether: change is inedible

xiao: don’t you mean inevitable?

aether, spitting out a mouthful of coins: no, i do not

[what-do-you-mean-its-not-canon]

atsushi, trying to sound tough: jail is no fun, i’ll tell you that much

akutagawa: oh, you’ve been?

atsushi: once. in monopoly.

[what-do-you-mean-its-not-canon]

aether: violence is never the answer.

xiao: you’re right

aether: *sighs in relief*

xiao: it’s the question

aether: what?

xiao, bolting away: and the answer is yes

aether, chasing after him: nO-

[what-do-you-mean-its-not-canon]

xiao: don’t worry, i have a few knives up my sleeves

aether: don’t you mean cards?

xiao, pulling a knife out of his sleeve: no, no i do not