what-a-dumb-blog
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my names ellie and i'm the saddest person ever lol
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“No, I’m not ok. But I haven’t been ok since I was 11, maybe 12. I am still here though. I’m still breathing. For me, sometimes, that will have to be enough.”
— Clementine von Radics
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fatima aamer bilal, excerpt from moony moonless sky’s ‘i am an observer, but not by choice.’
[text id: my fist has always been clenched around the handle of an invisible suitcase. / i am always ready to leave. / there is not a single room in this world where i belong.]
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{Words by Anaïs Nin, from The Diary Of Anais Nin, Vol. 4 (1944-1947) / Cynthia Cruz from diagnosis,The glimmering room}
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sometimes when the grief gets to be too much i sit outside, even under the heat of texas sun. i listen to the wind blow through the trees in my backyard. i see the sun shining down on me. i hear neighbors laughing down the street. i look at the flowers blooming amongst green grass. i listen to songs i've loved for years and songs i'm only just now learning. i see the sky melt into the most beautiful sunset, bursts of pink and orange and purple breaking apart the blue of the day. i hear the baby birds. when the grief gets to be too much, i sit outside and remember living. i am still here. i still want to be here.
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