weirdness2020

[weirdness2020]

Brucie Wayne accidentally killing the joker

This happens before Red Hood is revealed as Jason, but after he shows up. Bruce is at a gala and has been very stressed lately, which is why he was so caught off guard with the Joker arriving. A big thing about today? It’s Jason’s adoption day anniversary. Bruce is barely clinging to being good.

However, Joker has a new laughing gas that he thought would make everyone fall into a catatonic state of laughter, striking a blow against all of Gotham’s elite.

That’s what he thought it would do.

Instead, it lowered inhibitions and increased their emotions. It also reduced their ability to think things through. Doing this to Bruce, who is stressed with Red Hood making moves and Justice League stuff getting more stressful and it being the anniversary of the day he could finally welcome his beautiful boy into the family, only to be face to face with the reason he lost his kid?

It only takes one comment about the old Robin for Bruce to go feral.

He isn’t thinking things through, isn’t focused on how hard he is hitting things, or where they are moving until he’s on a balcony with the Joker, and he’s distantly aware he’s been screaming about the clown having done enough-

Everyone watches, spellbound, as Brucie Wayne, under the influence of this new gas, pitches both the Joker and himself off the balcony, twenty stories above the ground.

Red Hood catches Brucie Wayne.

No one catches the Joker.

The morning papers scream about how the Joker died from Gotham’s prince being drugged, and how the city’s new crime lord kidnapped Brucie before he could die.

Everyone in Gotham is in disarray.

Dick is panicking after seeing the headline. (He was in Bludhaven.)

Tim is cursing himself. (He was home sick with the flu.)

Jason is struggling with his emotions.

Alfred is loading his shot gun.

[weirdness2020]

Thinking back on travel buddy I remember dick had that whole bit about creepy old people and I just think that danny the menace would have been taking names and knee caps.

"Danny."

"Yes, B?"

"Why did you throw out Mrs. Lang from my Gala last night?"

"Simple B, she was being creepy with Dick."

"Creepy how?"

"She told him that he had a pretty mouth, and she could teach him how to use it."

"....I was going to tell you that having her thrown down a well was an overreaction, but I will let it slide. I'll contact our lawyers once she gets out of that well."

"She's already out of the well. You don't need to worry about her suing us. I recorded the whole conversation and let her know that everyone around her would find out she was making comments like that to a child."

"Good blackmail chum, but-'

"It wasn't blackmail. I literally told everyone around her what she did. She's in jail now, where she will be taken care of by people who owe me a favor."

".....Danny, we talked about this."

"If you get to kiss criminals, I get to befriend them, B.

[weirdness2020]

Ok, I need you to elaborate more about The Menace! Danny's Hero Persona cause I can understand if he's too nice (almost like Nightwing but more doting than funny) or if he's the "normal" one (he comes, beats you but hey! He isn't as violent like the rest so he's the best option)

I'm picturing him in his hero persona petting strays and openly talking about mental health

He's the kind of hero who stays behind after the fights, passing around assistance forms for insurance claims. He makes sure to get the information on the damaged properties so that he can later reimburse or fix them himself.

People took notice, and wherever there is a big fight, it's relatively common to see online postings of "Hey anyone that can help, Phantom is at Adress XXX trying to put in a roof! Gardeners too, for the lawns damage by car. I'll bring my grill and some stakes!" and people just....show up to help??? Turn it into a blog party???

Help each other??? Remember the good times.

Phantom always beams at them, which is just as rewarding. He also helps with several fundraisers. Like he'll stop his patrol to buy Girl Scout cookies, go to school bake sales, get involved in cleaning up parks, visit people in hospitals, and find warm shelter for anyone he comes across.

Phantom also never posts things himself. It's always one of his fans because he thinks that good things should be done without aiming for fame.

No one really knows when or where Phantom will pop up. After being Batman's star, since he glows and is a ray of hope, Phantom slowly developed his own time and rhythm, appeasing both Day and Night crimes.

He still beats the criminals up and cracks jokes as he does it. It's not like Flash, who can de-escalate situations, but more of mutual respect. He also teaches free self-defense classes and walks anyone who's scared at night home (Sometimes people try to trap him for this, but most of the time he has escorted young women and men home).

Phantom has also placed emergency buttons around the city, after clearing it with the mayor. People push them to let each other know that something is wrong, and to send an SOS to Phantom. He will pop in to check on you, even if it's just a street kid asking for homework help.

He's literally an angel without wings......and then there's Danny Fenton-Wayne, who's setting shit on fire while throwing in home-made dolls of his classmates and pointing at people to growl "The spirits want you".

[weirdness2020]

Danny doesn’t know why clockwork told him to do this but it’s honestly one of the worst job he’s ever been given 

He’s been told to be the monster under the bed

To an incredibly tiny and lonely, Tim Drake

Although Danny is incredibly bad at scaring people

And now Tim is basically doing the equivalent of I can fix him, but to an actual monster under his bed

This kid needs some help and Danny doesn’t know if he’s the right person for it

in fact he’s been told not to

[weirdness2020]

Thought this would be fun to write. It was!

If you like my work, please consider commissioning me or leaving a tip on Ko-fi (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)

How everyone reacts to the Reader saying a swear word

Barnaby

He just stands there and grins, trying his best to keep from laughing. Clearly amused, he'd say “You’ve got quite the vocabulary there, kid. Just don’t go teaching Wally that one, alright?”

Julie

Julie would freeze for a moment, quiet as a field mouse as she processes what she just heard. Before yelling “Oh my stars!” and covering her mouth with a hand.

Wally

He would just look at you, not understanding what you said. “Oh, that’s a new word. I don’t think I’ve heard that one before.” If you don't tell him it's a bad word, he'll ask Barnaby what it means.

Frank

Frank is disappointed in you. “That’s… not appropriate,” he’d say firmly. Then he gives you a short lecture about why we don't say things like that in Home.

Eddie

His eyes widen a bit as he stammers “Oh, uh… well, that’s a strong word!” He’d scratch the back of his neck awkwardly. Unsure of how to respond. "Maybe we should stick to nicer words. Okay?"

Poppy

Her feathers would ruffle up after you say the no-no word. “Oh dear! That’s… not good!” She looks towards her windows "I hope no one else heard that!”

Sally

She would gasp loudly, clutching her chest. "A curse word? Here? Oh, the scandal!" Despite the theatrics, she's genuinely shocked by such an outburst.

Howdy

Howdy is quiet for a second, his antennae twitching as he processes what you said. Before you get the chance to say anything else, he ask's you, "Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?”

[weirdness2020]

Got reminded again of my old coworker who was a massive misogynist but also trans inclusive. Told me he believed trans women are indeed women because "only women would be stupid enough to want to be women"

I wonder what he's doing now

[weirdness2020]

Ra's al Ghul and Batman engaged in a fierce sword fight for several minutes until Batman gained the upper hand, knocking the sword from Ra's hand.

Ra's: You American dog!

Ra's swung a punch at Batman’s face, causing his head to jerk back. Batman winced but didn’t show any significant pain. He lifted his head, wiping the blood from his nose with a bemused expression.

Batman (egging the old man on): Thank you, sir. May I have another?

Ra's (shouting enraged): I will not be defeated by you!

Batman (cocky): There's a first for everything. Let's see how far you get, old man.

Ra's threw another punch, but Batman dodged with ease. With every kick, punch, or jab, the Dark Knight either sidestepped or absorbed the blow without a negative reaction.

He chuckled after catching another hit to the jaw. Eventually, both men paused, breathing heavily from the fierce exchange.

Batman (enjoying this): I've not had this much fun since that trip to Spain with Catwoman. You're close, I'm not afraid to admit.

Ra's: You don't know when to stop, do you? You relish this torture after years of punishing yourself. You've never matured, have you?

Batman: Aww, Ray man, you didn’t make me fall yet and now you’re scolding me? Seems like you’re having a bad time, much like your wives.

Ra's: Fuck you! You failed to stay with my daughter, you hypocrite!

Batman: I’m well aware I’m bad at relationships. But you hide behind the truth: you’re just a weak old man who could never make anyone in your life happy or satisfy a woman.

Ra's (twitching right eye): Why aren't you taking this seriously?!

Batman: It all started with my son Jason, the one you thought you could raise to kill me, and ended with good medicine and a lot of sex. Those last two concepts are things you forgot long ago.

Ra's: Shut up, you pig!

In a fit of rage, Ra's punched Batman again, yanked off his cowl, and slammed his head against his knee. Batman laughed, regaining the upper hand and flipping Ra's to the ground.

Batman: Maybe if you hit me again, I’ll climax!

Ra's (seething): One of us will wake up in the pit by the end of this, and it will be you!

[weirdness2020]

In this au, the whole Bruce Time travel thing can either not happen, or happen before Bruce Quest

[weirdness2020]

I didn’t include Dani because it will be way too big of an age gap for me.

Billy has been a member of the Justice League for almost a year at this point, and he’s 10.

[weirdness2020]

one of my favorite things about hellsitegenetics has to be when a gimmick-gimmick blog (think gimmick-thief, gimmickchanger, etc) tries to steal the BLAST bit and just goes "nevermind i have no fucking idea how this even works"

[weirdness2020]

So Bart hasn't told anyone, but ever since he got Kon back from not existing anymore after scouring existence for him, he's kinda...been in jail. Time jail.

The warden, a weird not-a-god-but-might-as-well-be-one named Clockwork, who is totally a weird other version of Kronos, is nice enough to let him leave so he can go get "enrichment".

But he forces Bart to attend classes through a portal that allows him to see the classroom, but not actually interact with it, which is awful. It's torture. This really is a prison.

The only person who gets him is another maybe-god called Phantom, who drops by a lot because he's Clockwork's errand boy. Sometimes they play video games together, but usually they escape from Clockwork and try to hang out in the Living world for a bit, until the totally-not-a-time-god finds them again.

Sure, Bart gets to leave sometimes to go do hero stuff and hang out with his friends, but also once he's done he has to go straight back to Clockwork's lair. It's a total cowabummer.

And Bart might slip up a little bit.

Cuz after helping Wally and Max fight off another cult, Bart complains.

"Ugh, I have to go back," he whines, kicking at a rock.

"Go back? That reminds me, son, who have you been staying with?" Max asks, his voice that stupid lying calm he gets when he's trying to weasel his way into information he has no business knowing.

But Bart's frustrated enough not to care.

"Jail, cuz it's a prison and I'm never allowed to do anything without permission and I have to attend virtual classes because he's a warden-"

"Who's a warden?"

"Stupid Clockwork but he's totally lying about his name and I'm not stupid, but he keeps insisting 'oh no that IS my name Bart Allen' but like, it's super obvious that he's Kronos? Which isn't super important because what's even more important is that he's a lying liar who lies and sucks the fun out of everything-"

"Please tell me I misheard you and that you aren't staying with Kronos," Wally says, eyes wide.

Bart groans. He's focusing on the wrong thing!

"Yeah, but like, that's not the important part! The important part is that I have to go back, and if I don't, then he opens a portal underneath me and-"

There's a flash of green as Clockwork does just that, and Bart is, again, in Clockwork's lair.

"You're late for your pre-calculus class," Clockwork says, sounding like he's trying not to laugh.

Cuz he's a jerk.

And this is a prison.

~~~~~~~~

Or, Clockwork "arrests" Bart because an unmonitored Speedster is begging for trouble. Really, he's just trying to force the kid to have structure, because said kid refuses to let the other Speedsters know that he's been, technically, homeless.

Maybe it's spending so much time with Daniel, but Clockwork has a bit of a soft spot for kid heroes, and since the Speedforce is essentially his cousin, he's really just looking after a distant nephew.

But when he spots an opportunity to mess with the Speedsters, he takes it.

Now the rest of the Speedsters think that Bart is being held captive by Kronos, and Clockwork fully intends to enjoy the show.