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us: "yeah we probably have everything regarding our mental health worked out"

xel with the steel chair:

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THE MEAN GILL HIMSELF!

Tested out a color pallet for the fun of it :3

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Aaauuvgh I haven't posted in like a month guys I'm so sorry have some limited life Scott for your troubles

It's yellow and green life Scott heh ,, lowkey might draw red life Scott too

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[57/75] Scott Smajor and Martyn InTheLittleWood - Volta (Live)

“I think I’m ready to be here, I wanna be found.”

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what's your ETA?

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beware of deep sea creatures (also me sketching with a pencil brush? less likely than you think :D)

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how do you tell the difference between avpd and bpd fear of abandonment?? i have bpd and a Strong fear of abandonment then i have pretty much every avpd symptom to a concerning degree but im anxious it may be the bpd,,, not to mention i have autism too

this is an issue i ran into a lot when i was first trying to figure out what the hell was going on in my brain – i used to think i had bpd because i mistook the avpd fear of rejection for the bpd fear of abandonment. what i've found is that a lot of the key differences are in expression – our internal experiences are often incredibly similar, but we show it outwardly in different ways – but there are also some more fundamental differences in the fear itself.

here are some differences that come to mind for me. keep in mind that none of these are absolute or universal, they're just my own personal observations of common patterns in avpd vs bpd and how the two differ. it's very possible for someone with avpd to relate more to a description of bpd or vice versa because, no matter how well you try to articulate the differences, there's always a lot of overlap between the two.

the bpd fear tends to be more focused on the act of abandonment itself and the fact that a person is leaving, while the avpd fear tends to be more focused on the criticism inherent in a person leaving us and the embarrassment that comes along with that criticism. for us, someone leaving means we did something wrong and that means criticism and criticism means embarrassment and embarrassment means deep, inescapable shame. as i understand it, the bpd fear is a lot less about the criticism/embarrassment of the situation and a lot more weight is put on the actual act of the person leaving.

while both of us experience a really intense longing for connection with other people, people with bpd are a lot more likely to actually go out there and take risks for the sake of finding people than avoidants are. i would guess that's related to the previous point – in bpd, the actual presence or absence of a person is a bigger part of the equation, so it makes sense to try to fill that hole at all costs; with avpd, the most important thing is avoiding the embarrassment of not being accepted, so we're a lot more likely to just avoid people altogether, since a person can't reject you if they're not in your life to begin with. that's why unstable relationships are more characteristic of bpd while a total lack of relationships is more characteristic of avpd.

people with avpd may go through periods of coping with our fear of rejection by giving up on people altogether, but it tends to be more generalized than the splitting you see with bpd. in my experience, ours tends to look like "fuck the general concept of people and socializing, it sucks and i hate it" while in bpd it tends to look more like "fuck this person in particular, they suck and i hate them". both are ways that we try to protect ourselves from rejection/abandonment by leaving other people before they can leave us, but at least from what i've seen, the avpd way of doing that tends to be more generalized than in bpd.

on the topic of the "leave them before they leave you" tendency, while both tend to result in pushing other people away to try to protect ourselves, we typically use different methods of pushing them away. avpd methods tend to be more, well, avoidant – we essentially just try to run the other way as fast as possible and fade out of their lives, ghosting them or getting really impersonal in our interactions until the relationship fizzles out. bpd methods tend to be more hands-on, actively doing things in the relationship that will make the other person want to end it.

people with bpd tend to react to their fear impulsively, while avoidants tend to react by overthinking. someone with bpd is more likely to react to the threat of abandonment by doing anything and everything they can think of to escape it, while someone with avpd is more likely to react by thinking through every single possible response we could have and all the ways it could go wrong to the point of essentially paralyzing ourselves. we both generally end up in the same place – spiraling because whatever we did (or didn't do) didn't work and something still went wrong and maybe our actions or lack thereof even made things worse – but we tend to get their through different routes.

avpd and bpd fears both involve hypersensitivity and emotional dysregulation, but one thing that's specifically characteristic of avpd is our efforts to shut down those emotions because we're in some way afraid of them. all of those strong, messy emotions found in both disorders are absolutely terrifying to us because our brains focus in on anything that could be potentially embarrassing and emotions – especially ones we don't feel in control of – have prime embarrassment potential. in people with bpd, if a similar feeling is present, it'll tend to look more something along the lines of a fear that the emotions will be "too much" and cause someone to leave. in avpd, it's not about the fact that the emotions might make someone leave, it's about the reason that person would leave: the fact that our emotions have clued them into all of the flaws we've been hiding, and now everyone knows about everything wrong with us and that's unbearable.

i hope all that makes sense and helps! keep in mind that i don't personally have bpd so everything i'm saying about bpd here is taken from things i've seen other people say, and it may not be as accurate as what i've said about avpd, since avpd is something i actually have lived experience with that i can draw from.

also keep in mind that you don't have to use labels that aren't helpful to you – if you think it might be avpd but trying to figure that out just stresses you out and you can get the support you need with or without the avpd label, you don't have to worry about it! you could just say you have avoidant traits and call it a day, you could just say you have bpd and not worry about labeling every single thing – it's entirely up to you and what's helpful to you.

if anyone else has any other examples to add, or wants to expand upon the things i've mentioned, please do! this is an area of overlap that trips a lot of people up, and there really aren't enough resources on how to navigate it.

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I've lost the love of my life, and my fingers refuse to write the word “death” in connection with him. I am still in denial, grappling with the harsh truth that he is gone. Now, I live amidst the ruins of memories—everything around me serves as a reminder of him. He adored the sky and the sea, always fascinated by the stars. I once told him that I wished the roof of our future home could be made of glass, so we could gaze at the stars together, dreaming of our life ahead. But all of that is now shattered, forever lost since Israel took away the soul of the one I cherished most.

My life has become an empty void, devoid of any motivation to take a single step forward. I find no desire to cry, to eat, or even to exist. Each day is a relentless cycle, repeating itself, as I wait for the moment of my death. I often find myself lost in thoughts of how it might happen: will I die whole, or will my body be scattered, pieces of me consumed by stray dogs and cats?

➡️Now, my focus has shifted to my family and the desperate need to save them from this hell we call home. This is not just a plea; it is a campaign for survival.

Please, if you can, do not hesitate to donate and help us find safety. Every bit counts in this fight for our lives.

My campaign has been verified

@\nabulsi here @\el-shab-hussein here

@fancysmudges @brokenbackmountain @zigcarnivorous @z-moves @tittyinfinity @aleciosun @fluoresensitivearchived @khizuo @schoolhater @timogsilangan @appsa @buttercuparry @sayruq @malcriada @palestinegenocide @sar-soor @akajustmerry @annoyingloudmicrowavecultist @feluka @tortiefrancis @flower-tea-fairies @tsaricides @riding-with-the-wild-hunt @visenyasdragon @belleandsaintsebastian @ear-motif @kordeliiius @brutaliakent @raelyn-dreams @troythecatfish @theropoda @tamarrud @4ft10tvlandfangirl @queerstudiesnatural @northgazaupdates2 @skatezophrenic @awetistic-things @camgirlpanopticon @baby-girl-aaron-dessner @nabulsi @sygourie @junglejim4322 @heritageposts @chososhairbuns @palistani @dlxxv-vetted-donations @imjustheretotrytohelp

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You have to keep fighting, even if you have to fight scared

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this is just a bunch of text and barely a comic sorry, but i really wanted to talk about this stuff even if i don't have the energy to properly draw

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I am BEGGING younger drivers. drive carefully. give yourself room. for fuck's sake use your turn signals and don't fucking weave thru traffic. this is not a video game, this is real life and if you get into an accident, you could get killed or kill someone else VERY easily

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With the summer heat rolling in I really wanted to take a moment and highlight a program I am a big fan of, A.N.E.

"Adopt-A-Native-Elder (A.N.E.) serves to help reduce extreme poverty and hardship facing traditional Elders living on the Navajo Reservation. A.N.E. is a trusted humanitarian organization focused on delivering food, medical supplies, firewood and other forms of Elder support. Respecting the tradition and dignity of Navajo Elders, we create relationships and honor and serve the Elders. The Program is organized in the Native American Spirit of the Giveaway Circle. The Giveaway Circle has a tradition of giving the best that we have. That may be a gift of time, talents or skills, or actual gifts of food and donations. When asked what the boxes of food meant to her, Ruth Benally explained that they were like "miracles from the sky." The miracle is the letters and gifts that arrive from people that they don't know and may never meet. For over 30 years, Adopt-A-Native-Elder has used an integrated approach to go beyond charity to assist indigent Elders on the Navajo Reservation in Utah and Arizona."

A.N.E also puts on an annual rug show & sale, you can read about last years here. Apart from their annual events they also host an online shop where you can buy jewelry, woven baskets, and elder made rugs. All proceeds go towards providing support for our elders be it food, medical assistance, firewood, weaving supplies and so much more.

Not in the market for beautifully made Indigenous crafts? Well they also accept general donations, buy specific items for elders in need, food certificate sponsors, rug show sponsors, and of course adopting an elder.

Adopt a Native Elder Website, Instagram, Facebook, & Twitter

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if you’re white and wanna write a poc character and feel awkward about it i implore you to ignore any twitblr stuff treating it as a massive ethical burden and instead come in more with the same mindset you’d have if you wanted to write about idk firefighters but didn’t know anything about firefighters so you do... research. Like fuck off with the weird kinda creepy calls for spiritual introspection you’re not writing about god damn space aliens you’re writing about humans and if you think you need more perspective of different life experiences just read?

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i can’t think straight ive got brainfag