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Part 2: Tik Tok, Gen Z and the world

Hi to the person reading this!

This is part 2 of Tik Tok, Gen Z and the world. Enjoy!!!

What does this have to do with Gen Z and why do I think “what is wrong with people?” Great questions! First, Gen Z prides itself on being one the most tolerant generations thus far. We consider ourselves accepting, understanding, and empathetic. However, this is not always the case. I want to stray from making generalizations but these are patterns I've noticed around me and within my own thinking/beliefs. Whether this be leaving fairy comments on someones post, genuine hate comments, or devaluing someone based off of prescribed ideals, Gen Z negates what it stands for. We understand the shame and danger of cyber-bullying in any form, but when it comes to making a funny joke or proving a point, it’s suddenly okay. It’s okay to leave thousands upon thousands of negative comments on someones page because they called someone else out or did things a little differently. I myself have made allowances towards being hateful. I distinctly remember liking fairy comments under a post that didn’t even affect me. And I passed it off as a joke, but if it were in person, I would be a bystander, and I would be just as guilty as the person perpetuating the bullying.

Furthermore, as “one of the most tolerant generations” we have trouble allowing people to be human and make mistakes. This women may have snapped back at you, but that does not mean that you can’t be the bigger person. You have no idea what this person is going through just as they have no idea for you. Where is the compassion or empathy. Before sending out what you think is a fantastic comeback, why can’t you stop and reflect on how your words or actions might harm others. When Sharon was making her video, she was allowing mean spirited individuals a pass to hate on someone else. While you may have put a comment saying you don’t condone violence and you con’t control people who take it too far, you should’ve been able to use your better judgement to decide “maybe this isn’t the best way to handle something like this”. It’s a bad example to react negatively, especially when there are kids on this app. 

Overall, this brings me to the world. We are in such a devise and politically charged climate right now. There is so much going on around us and we all need positivity. Why can’t we move with peace and love, that everyone loves to mention but never actually means? Instead of seeing negative posts on my fyp, I want to see positive ones. I want to see posts in which you are bettering the world and your community. When you begin to enter adulthood, you are forced with the task of knowing what you want as well as figuring out how you’ll improve the lives of those around you. You want to be able to look back later in life and reflect on the things you’ve contributed to society. We should be challenging ourselves to be better and to stop allowing negativity cloud our judgement. Stop hating on others and love yourself.

Thanks for reading!!!

<333 Katya

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Part 1: Tik tok, Gen Z and the world

Hi to the person reading this!

PSA: I am doing a part 1 and a part 2. Part 1 is background and Part 2 will be my take on the situation.

Like anyone else, I could spend hours mindlessly scrolling through Tik Tok. It’s great because there is so much content, there is really something for everyone. Sadly, I've been noticing so much negativity on my for you page. I’ll give an example. 

I came across this video talking about this painter. The original person (lets call then sharon), Sharon, left a comment on this painters Tik Tok saying “Wasn’t this character painted purple?” the painter (lets call them karen), karen replied “This is EXTREMELY UNNECESSARY. This clearly shows you are not a kind person.” (paraphrasing). 

Now after doing a deep dive of my own, using my critical thinking, I came to the conclusion that Karen was most likely asked that question multiple times before sharon had asked. Sharon asking again must have triggered her into said response. The most recent video posted by Karen was a video of her saying that she was turning off the comments and logging off of Tik Tok due to the large amounts of death threats against her as a result of Sharon video. Mind you Karen is sobbing her eyes out. If you go to the video posted by Sharon, the comment section is just riddled with hurtful and nasty comments tearing this person apart. Things like “if she didn’t want death threats she shouldn’t be on the internet” or “oh is she gonna cry about it? oh wait”

And all i can say is what is wrong with people?

*please go ahead and read Part 2 which can be found on my profile :)*

Thanks for reading!! 

<333 Katya

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Control

Hi to the person reading this!

There comes a time in every child’s life when you have to grow up. Some parents let go. Some even cheer you on. Some try to grasp and hold on tighter. Wishing for your child to still be a kid isn’t a crime. However, intentionally standing in the way of your developing child is pretty terrible. Now it’s not murder but one could argue that it is in a symbollic way. Recently i’ve been going back and forth in a chess game with my parents in a struggle for independence. They loathe the idea of me making my own decisions. They look down on me for choices I make and the life that I want to lead. It’s been a constant tug of war between us and it made me realize something.

When we are born, our parents make every decision for us. They chose what we wear. When we eat. What we eat. Where we go. Who we hang out with. The list is endless. Parents grow to believe that we essentially are “theirs” and therefore incapable of controlling our own lives. But at what point do we become able to be ourselves and chose our own lives. I’m not saying a four year old should be able to make huge decisions. But are you still going to control your child when they’re 20 years old? At what point do you let go? Personally, I feel suffocated. I feel that I can’t trust my parents. They don’t know me as a person nor do they allow me to make up my own mind. In their eyes, I am murdering the ideal child that they’ve tried so hard to culitivate all these years. 

When parents try to control us in such a way, it supresses the need for purpose. Children grow up thinking “if i’m not living for my parents or family, then what am I living for?”. Thankfully, most children get the oppurtunity to find their purpose in life. Unfortunately, some don’t. I feel that I will be apart of that don’t. It’s a hard thing to live with. Without purpose, the soul dies. I want to do something great and to create something beautiful that changes lives. I hope that the day comes that I can make my own decisions and forge my own path. I hope that one day, i’ll have people in my life who understand me. I hope that one day my life is filled with happiness and change. Until then, it will be a constant fight. But hopefully, there will be no more need for control.  

Thanks for reading!

<333 Katya

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Fired

Hi to the person reading this!

On today’s episode of “This Life Sucks”, we are going to be talking about my most recent catastrophe. Recently, I was employed at a local store as a cashier. Pretty run of the mill stuff. Cashier, cleaning, making the store look nice, etc. Today, I was called into work to be told that I could be fired. Unbeknownst to me, I had been making “consistent mistakes” in my cashiering. Every shift I had worked, my drawer came up short in cash each time. To the store manager, it looked as if I was stealing. I’m pretty sure he was convinced I knew about this happening but when I appeared genuninly shocked and confused, he was taken aback. So, he said that I would have one more chance and that if my drawer is even a dollar short, I would be terminated.

Now, this job is a low rate mediorce job. It’s nothing special and it’s not my whole life. Except, all I can think of right now is the job. I feel angered and used. This store threw me out on my own after one day of supervised training and expected me, with no previous experience of any kind, to run a store by myself. Not only that, but they couldn’t even be bothered to make me aware of my mistakes. Now, here I am looking like a lying fool, about to lose my job over something I wasn’t even aware was occuring.

If i have learned anything from this experience, it’s that the adult world is harsh. I worked these days and tried my best to do what I was hired for. Instead, i’m going to get fired for “careless mistakes”. What i’ve realized is, no one will have your back in the world. When you’re out making money, you have to be accountable for yourself, even when no one else will. Does it pain me to be facing this? Absolutely. I never in my life, imagined being fired from a job. Will i let it stop me from achieving my goals? No I will not. This one moment in time does not define me. It’s easy to feel as if your character is completely destroyed by one bad thing that happens. But I think a good thing to remember in life, is that at the end of the day, as long as you continue to have integrity, no one can make you feel less than or ruin your character.

Thanks for reading!!

<333 Katya

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Biracial

Hi to the person reading this,

Slowly but surely, this account is starting to turn into a controversy blog as opposed to my stuggle with adulthood. Lol it’s been a while since i’ve written. Life has somehow managed to become even crazier and more difficult <3. Anyways, I wanted to dive into a topic ~near and dear to my heart~ being biracial.

As I think I mentioned before, I am biracial (as you could’ve guessed). I just wanted to talk about my experience. Growing in high school, I will admit I had a huge struggle with my identity. It was two comments said to me that made me question my being for the next four years. 1. “You’re the whitest black girl I know” and 2. “You’re not black enough”. I often see comments on Youtube or TikTok about mixed kids always “bringing up that they’re lightskin” or that “they’re bragging”. Personally, it’s comments like these that bring me the most anguish. Being biracial or mixed, has been transformed as something positive I saw in myself to something dirty and unwanted. 

After hearing those two comments, I internally struggled with this idea of having to pick sides. Was i black or white? Do I “act black”? Do I “act white”? Etc. In high school, I longed desperately to be in black history club and have more black friends, but that one comment of “You’re not black enough” always played in the back of my mind. When I would spend time with my white friends, I would question if they saw me as a minority or not at all. 

I understand colorism and the forced beauty standards of lighter being better. I strive to not take away from the experiences of my darkskin brothers and sisters, but honestly sometimes it doesn’t truly feel like the african american community accepts biracial children. I see so much content on the internet that speaks of biracial children “just not being black enough” and all i have to say is that it is an alienating experience to hear that from the community that you want to identify with the most. There’s no hate meant behind this post and i’m always willing to learn more on this issue. My main point is that, what biracial kids want the most, and what I wanted the most growing up, was acceptance. Was the feeling that it’s okay to not fit into one box and that it’s not my fault. Comments like “you’re not enough” have lasting impact and as a society we should all continue to make this a space where all types of people can speak.

Again, i’m not trying to take away from my darker skin brothers and sisters. They matter too and their voices should be heard just as much. But we can’t silence each other out and we need to learn how to communicate with compassion. 

Thank you for reading!

<333 Katya 

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All lives matter

Hi to the person reading this,

This blog is not meant for anything related to politics or news but I needed to vent about the term “all lives matter”. It is day 22 of the protests against the deaths of George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, Ahmaud Arbery, and so many countless others. One thing that has persistently bothered me throught the course of protests, is the insistence by nay sayers, to say “all lives matter”.

I was going to write this post trying to state facts but i figured it’s a rant so why write it in a way that I wouldn’t casually talk. George Floyd died for a fake twenty dollar bill. A fake twenty dollar bill. When he died, he was handcuffed. Face down on the street. Hands behind his back.

Four officers assisted in the arrest and murder of George Floyd. A knee was pinned down on his neck. While he was being suffocated, he cried out begging for them to stop. Finally, he begged for his mother. 

Breonna Taylor died in her sleep. A young, beautiful woman with a bright future ahead of her. Dreams of being a registered nurse, shattered. Shot 8 times while she was sleeping in her own residence. Dead at 26 years old.

Ahmaud Arbery died for being percieved as a potential robber. A dedicated athlete. A loving son. A man with his entire life ahead of him. Dead and shot 3 times at the hands of two white residents attempting to make an illegal citizens arrest. Dead at 25. 

The phrase ‘black lives matter’ serves to call attention the systemic racism that has plauged this country since it’s conception. The phrase ‘black lives matter’ is extremely important in that, black lives have been continually seen as less than. Black people are looked down on as animals or disease. We are killed as such in the streets. In saying ‘black lives matter’, we recognize the importance of brown and black lives and we recognize them as human beings, deserving of basic human rights. Through saying ‘all lives matter’, you are saying that it doesn’t matter. You are saying that black and brown people do not matter in this country. At the end of the day, no matter how well intentioned you mean it, you are justifying the deaths of individuals in the black community. 

Thanks for reading

<333 Katya

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Bike pt.2

Hi to the person reading this,

So before you read this, make sure you read “bike” pt. 1 first, that way you have the background. Moving on, here is Bike pt. 2!

So after spending all day apologizing for my rudeness, I decided that the only way to make up for what I did, was to teach my boyfriend how to actually ride a bike. I declared to my boyfriend that I would teach him to ride a bike, and with him always being gracious, he went along with my scheme. Soon after, we headed outside to begin his first lesson. With the help of my brother, we managed to have my boyfriend peddling up and down the street. 

After practicing for an hour or so, we went back inside my house. In the privacy of my bedroom, I had an outburst of anger. I felt unaccomplished. I felt that I had not only again embarrased my boyfriend, but that I let him down. My boyfriend grabbed me by hips and pulled me to stand between his legs. Looking deeply into my eyes, i noticed the tears begining to pool in his eyes. My boyfriend looked at me, and with a choked voice he said “No one has ever tried to teach me how to ride a bike”

This was already made clear to me from our earlier interaction but this time it felt heavier. He continued speaking, saying “The last time i rode a bike, my parents stopped watching me, and I almost got hit by a car”. He followed up saying ‘Thank you so much. You have no idea what this means to me.”

After letting him cry into my shoulder, I began crying too. My feelings of dissapointment and anger slipped away. I became overwhelmed with intense feelings of sadness. The idea of my loving and adorable boyfriend being neglected, left me with a sour taste in my mouth and a pain in my chest. The ability of riding a bike was no longer just a funny joke. It was transformed to symbolize neglect. I had loving parents who took the time to teach me how to ride a bike. But my boyfriend, who comes from a less fortunate background, never had that privilege. It was then that I was first confronted with my privilege. I had never experienced it in such a large scale, yet here it was. Plain faced and bold for me to see. As i grow up, it is easy for me to focus on my have-nots. But something i’m begining to see as essential, is the importance of recognizing my privilege and blessings. 

Thanks so much for reading and if you enjoyed please take a look at the other content on my page!! Thanks!

<333 Katya

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Bike

Hi to the person reading this,

Recently, my boyfriend had his 18th birthday. Coincidentally, his birthday fell during the same week as my sister’s graduation from college. As a surprise, my family coordinated a “parade” with all of our closest family friends. They drove through the neighborhood with signs and balloons while they honked to show support. To sum up my part of the plan, I was left behind with my boyfriend and I had tried to get him to ride a bike to catch up with the rest of the crew for the “parade”. In this moment he told me “I don’t know how to ride a bike”.

The inner child in me laughed. Like most people would, i said “you don’t know how to ride a bike?” and when he confirmed, I thought “oh well, it’s not that hard. I can teach him right now”. Then i spent five minutes trying to teach him, furthering his embarrassment and shame. Finally, I gave up in frustration. I was annoyed that he wouldn’t pick it up because I needed him to. 

After stopping, I could see how hurt he was. I could visibly see how my “oh so important needs”, stifled his ability to feel comfortable with me. In that moment, I realized that how i had treated him was extremely wrong. I truly thought, “That’s so funny he doesn’t know how to ride a bike. It’s really easy. I can teach him right now”. This seems so little but it’s an issue i find invading all aspects of my life. I constantly struggle with the thought process.

You would think, “well everyone knows right from wrong.” but sometimes people do things because they don’t consider the harmful impacts it has on others. In that moment, i wasn’t thinking “how will me forcing somebody to do something make them feel” but rather I was thinking “this is so simple. I can fix this”. Overall, in my life, I struggle with being mature. How do i know when it is appropriate to say or do things, that I think are normal but the rest of society deems inappropriate. How do I filter myself and remain professional? Why is it so difficult to stop and think before I speak or do? After my first year in college, or even in my high school years, I've thought back on the moments of embarrassment and thought, “Why am i like this?” And this question continues to be asked. I just want to know, will I ever grow up? or will I remain immature?

Thank you for reading. Be sure to follow this account for more content. There will be a part 2 of the “Bike” post coming online in the next couple of days, so stay posted. Thanks again!!

<333 Katya

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Hellos and such, 

I am not sure what I’ll write here yet.  I have some ideas, perhaps about my experience with adoption, interpersonal battles, academic struggles- whatever else comes to mind I suppose.  

A brief run down:  

- Pronouns: she/her/hers

- Age: 19 

- Hobby: Reading (I like books that make me think) 

- Major: Fine Arts (no specialization yet)

I’m excited to be starting this off with my friends.  I have no idea where this is going to lead, but the three perspectives throughout our stages of life is definitely something I look forward in seeing/documenting.   

hy. 

5.19.20

song rec:  “Frank Ocean” Call Me Karizma 

https://open.spotify.com/track/1jKBiK0Yk6VCcBfJOgBUbs?si=Rm1gAnLWT_6HpOQyEh2M-A 

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A little bit about me

Hi to the person reading this,

My name is Katya. I am 18 years old but I will be 19 in the next coming month. I currently attend college (4 year undergrad) and I major in psychology. I have five siblings and I am mixed. My family life is a little messy but that’s typical I guess. I have a cat named sunshine, but if it had been up to me I probably would have named him Teddy. I question things a lot but I hate talking about emotions. Not really healthy but we’re working on it. I find it ironic that I am a psych major yet hate talking about emotions. How hypocritical. There’s not much to me really. I am introverted but I present as a extrovert so that I can make friends. It’s been the source of many conflicts. I was planning on keeping this light hearted but welp we can see how that’s going. So just for the sake of keeping things “LiGhT”, I’ll finish with some things I like/am interested in. 

- Youtube (it’s not a personality trait or a hobby to be addicted to youtube but if it was...)  

- I refuse to let go of pinterest, I’m sorry but it’s good for so many things 

- I love playing Oboe and in fact taught myself how to play (i’m bragging but i’m vv confident in my ability to play Oboe)

- I love Meghan thee stallion; if you met me in real life you would be severely surprised

IDK if these count as things i’m interested in but they came to my mind so I wrote them down. Anyways, thank you if you have reached the end. Please be sure to look at more posts on this account. There will be two other admins joining the account, so sometime soon we will have messages from them. Please follow if you liked this and stay tuned for any new posts or update.

<333 katya

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New Blog

Hi to the person reading this!

The username is we confused (yes vv original). This will be a new blog channel. My “name” is Katya and I’m 18 years old. I wanted to start blogging because I write in a journal but it doesn’t spur me to sound intelligent. It’s very conceited i know, but I promise I have good intentions only. This blog is just another way for me to express myself and my struggles with becoming a young adult. I’ve noticed myself straddling the line of having to be mature and professional, but also being my “age” and still feeling like a teen. 

It’s up to you if you continue to follow these posts but if you do then i’d like to say thank you. I hope you may relate to the things I share, and hopefully I inspire you in some way. 

<333